improbably this is, indeed, the second month in a row what i have gone done a post on some product or other off of lynx. this is entirely accidental, look you see, but also i cannot guarantee there won't be one next month. especially, as it happens, when aware of a simply dreadful rebranding they have done of what is, or perhaps was, their only truly decent product.
but that shall be then, or maybe if and when, this is now. and right now, as the title suggests, this is all concerning a relatively (at time of writing) new fragrance what lynx (or axe in some parts of the world, unless they have "streamlined" and call it lynx everywhere) has gone done made.
how is it that i came to encounter this new scent, fragrance or (if we are honest) monstrosity from lynx? recently i was away for a night, so as to enjoy the delights of Primal Scream live and in concert. for such trips i take my boss yet modest (as in small) sized Bowie bag what has a sort of Japanese style to it. taking one of them "roll on" deodorants instead of a fully fledged ozone-f****r aerosol can saves space to the extent that i do not need to make a choice between socks or boxer shorts. when shopping for one, quite aware that they usually reserve only their very worst fragrances for roll on products, i spotted this one and figured it could be no worse than the other roll on offerings. the traditional aerosol variation i bought was later, just to see if it really was that bad.
giving a description of a scent in words is always quite tricky, for it relies on evoking memories of such in you, dear reader. but, go on, i shall give it a go.
starting off where i did is, of course, with the roll on variation. what does it smell like? imagine, if you will, that you have bought a packet of discounted mince, one which was cheap anyway and was just moments if not minutes away from its expiry date. take that packet to the kind of beach where undesirables dwell, playing tinny, sh!tty music through a cheap bluetooth speaker and using disposable barbecue things, making certain all have a time as miserable as their own existence. bury that mince, facing the sun of course, in the sand. once the noxious gases have inflated the package to the point of bursting, take it out, mix it up with some putrid, repugnant eggs and fry it in a pan which has a dab of oil made from liquefied excrement of unknown provenance. that's not far off.
oddly the spray on version has a discernibly different scent. which does make me wonder why, exactly, both have the same name, but let me not question the logic of lynx. this spray on one is slightly less worse than the roll on, but in the same sense as, say, it was only the one testicle a vicious dog ripped off rather than both of them. essentially it's like they took a delicate cherry blossom scent, mixed it with a touch of a confrontational rose fragrance then smothered all of that with bleach, disinfectant and all sorts of chemically unsound detergents to make the perfect thing to try and disguise the smell in a particularly rough brothel or similar house of ill repute. anyone you attract whilst wearing this is going to be (most decidedly) someone you would not wish to attract.
them what make these things, these scents, lynx (or possibly axe) are clearly demented. surely it would be less ("fewer") effort to make a decent smelling one than spend all that time delivering these hideous things? even the name is odd. generally sunset comes at the end of a day, where's the fresh? maybe what it was they wished to do was to call it Sunset Now, so as to honour the band Heaven 17. anyone who knowingly and willingly makes this kind of smell is going to be a textbook fan of that band, believe you me. perhaps some licensing issue stopped them calling it that.
unless it is so that my recent plight gets the upper hand and i fall then there is indeed every chance i shall experiment further with the vile stench that shall be the next good idea what lynx (axe) has. by the way, no, i did not try any of their "boutique" or "luxury" range from a year or so ago, as the price they asked for them was ridiculous, even by their usual standards. i cannot see it being so, but if any of this has been of some help to you, nice one!
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
