Thursday, May 30, 2019

of frankenstein or a god

hello there


it has been a while since i wrote of a particularly favourite subject here. that subject would be, look you see, the one of his greatness, his excellency, the legendary Jim Bowen, may he rest in eternal peace. fear not, for there has been no particular reason for this absence, except that the repeats of Bullseye seem not to be so frequent on the tele no more, and with that there has been little to comment on.

as it happens, i now have two things - not one and not three - related to Bowen to put up here. so as not to waste future material for a post, i shall deal with just the one here. this is a pretty exciting one, so don't go thinking you are missing out.



yes, that is indeed the great Jim Bowen. also yes, that is him stood before his most familiar background association, the Bullseye massive stage dartboard. no, that is not a usual angle or image of either.

the above image, and all that shall follow, are off of something called the Bullseye Interactive DVD Game, which i recently obtained. well, i suppose that last bit is fairly if not quite somewhat obvious, is it not. many of you will be concerned, interested or curious about the provenance of this procurement. for those that are, it was all of £1 in a charity shop.



quite right, you are, to ask or otherwise suggest that these "interactive DVD games" tend to be a bit wonky. whereas they are well intentioned, a home DVD player simply does not have the processing power of a computer, or one of them x game play box station things. usually this means that the games are not so much "interactive" as they are sluggish, with (for want of a better term) players engaging with them finding much of their interaction time is sat watching a frozen image as the player tries to find the right spot to play on the box.

something of a more pressing question in respect of this one is the sheer brazen moral ambiguity of it all. you do, in essence, not only "control" Jim Bowen in this; effectively by putting the disc on and embracing the interactive elements you are well and truly resurrecting him.

does this power, i both fear and wonder, make you some sort of quasi god, or some form of quasi frankenstein like character? perhaps i should not worry too much about such, instead simply be glad and merry that it is so.




a very big failing of these "interactive" games, the main reason why they get played once and then dumped on the likes of charity shops, is usually that they are complete rubbish. not so with this one. other than getting the presence of Jim Bowen, and the voice of Tony Green, in your home, the game section actually works quite well.

normally these games where you have to press a button to make an action happen are slow and sluggish, meaning that your fast response is irrelevant compared to the (complete lack of) processing power on the pc. think the old arcade game Dragon's Lair and you have the idea. with this, though, the two pronged approach to throwing a dart works rather well indeed.



plus, as mentioned before, you get Jim Bowen speaking to you. the power to have Jim speak to you when you want, and pretty much how you want so long as how you want is within the strict parameters of what is recorded, is surely worth £1 of anyone's money. my money going to some charity or other is just an added bonus. 

an important element of Bullseye was, of course, the questions posed to the contestants. was this in fact of more consequence than the darts element? perhaps. the questions posed by Jim Bowen, always all from his own vast wealth of knowledge, served to raise the intellectual levels of our country in a highly beneficial way. just think - if that chap what invented the internet and that didn't watch Bullseye, then he may have never had enough information to be able to build it, or shove the wires in the right places, or whatever.



the above does show off Jim's astonishing knowledge of European born motion picture stars who both lived in America and pursued political careers, yes, true. it does, however, also show off the dynamics of this video disc game. yes, it follows the format of Bullseye as close as possible, but for the sake of fairness you get four options for the questions asked. contestants on the real show, of course, had to rely purely on their knowledge alone to appease Jim and his thirst for information.

does above mean that the holy grail of reward, Bully's Prize Dart Board, features on this interactive game disc? why yes, of course it does. here you go, in one of them "animated GIF" things that you all like, especially (only) when in Commodore 64 mode, here's Jim introducing you to the challenge.



would it be best to describe the above as splendid stuff or sensational stuff? i am not sure, although it does not really matter for both are quite correct.

unfortunately it is kind of around this stage that the spell is broken, that reality sinks in and the limitations of "interactive" truly come to the fore. although you get to play Bully's Prize Board and aim for prizes, you do not of course get whatever prizes you win. or get the chance to gamble them in search of scoring 101 (or more) to win a speedboat, caravan or similar.

here, then, is where you are left alone, possibly lonely, and sad. if, at least, your imagination does not stretch to pretending that you have won and Jim has embraced you in celebration of your success. or if your budget does not stretch to actually buying whatever you win for yourself.



the presentation of Bully's Prize Dart Board and the prizes is at the least accurate. above is pictured Bully's star prize, a most magnificent 26 (or similar) inch television set, on which one may watch analogue broadcasts of Bullseye and other, lesser shows.

i do of course have to be careful with statements like the above. well, kind of. for some reason i have become known as what they call a "social media influencer", with me apparently wielding great power over opinions and actions. no, then, i am not directly saying that you should go and purchase a whole load of products that were reserved for the bourgeois and the elite back in the 80s in order to fully recreate the Bullseye experience. i am just highlighting how it may be done if so desired.



once again i suspect that i am guilty of taking and uploading far too many images of Bullseye in relation to the words i have to speak (write) around them.

would i recommend this Bullseye "interactive" DVD game to you, the readers? it is highly likely that by this stage you could have a guess at my answer. yes, should you wish to have your guess confirmed, or if you were not inclined to speculate. mindful of how you have to be quite careful of the tacit power it gives you to resurrect Jim Bowen.



how often am i likely to play this disc myself? not very. i had a go, won £270 cash, a set of golf clubs, some sort of sewing machine, a bike and a flash tele, and then in the 101 or more section i disappointingly won a car rather than a caravan or speedboat. as the law states that members of the public were only ever permitted to be on Bullseye once it would, in a sense, be wrong for me to go on the disc again. but then again, if i did have another go, maybe i might win the speedboat.

right, well, that's that for this post, and looking at the date, for May posts too. yes, more to come in June, probably, and if so certainly more super, smashing, great Bullseye stuff. if not next month then the month after.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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