and so once again we are here, look you see. the here, or if you will the now, is Christmas and the clutching at the past i do under the vague guise of claiming it upholds tradition. so then yes, indeed, truly, the time has come for me to make that once a year purchase of one of the two recognised big names in tv magazines (in the UK, at the least).
so, which one to choose from these two? indeed yes, i know that there are dozens of other tv guide magazines, but none of them were around in the 80s, and thus they do not feed my nostalgia. for Christmas 2014, 2015 and 2016 i went with the ostensibly or previously BBC based Radio Times out of some sense of loyalty; one that was perhaps misguided. when it came around to decision time in 2017, i "switched ships", so to speak, and went for the one that used to be exclusively all ITV (and then Channel 4 too), the decidedly proletariat focused TV Times.
just what i decided on is below, later. but for now, an observation on the covers. note, if you will, that this year - like many a recent year - it's all "Christmas themed" generic things on the cover. it was the case, once, that the "big star" of either BBC or ITV featured, dressed in some sort of Christmas related outfit; invariably Santa Claus.
there are reasons for this. partially, to be sure, we have now moved away from an era of super, great big "mega stars", like Jim Bowen, Tarby, Eric & Ernie, etc. certainly one or two people on television at the moment have a level of fame, but they never quite seem to become household names anymore. neither, i suppose, are any of them particularly cherished by a nation resplendent with hundreds of different channels to watch. but also, i suppose, the lawyers these days caution such publications from using the stars of today, lest tomorrow the sins of the past come to the fore.
quite, yes indeed, thank you to Richard for forwarding on the above somewhat timely reminder of the dangers of celebrity endorsements. for many years the most scary thing about the above was probably that so many people not only chose Co-Op to be their appointed vacuum cleaner supplier, but that the market for them was so competitive that such gimmicks were required.
no, as far as i am aware, my parents did not purchase a vacuum cleaner from the Co Op on the basis of the chance to win a "dream" meeting between their offspring and "Uncle Jimmy". to the best of my knowledge, any time such appliances were required, my Dad left word in the pub and arrangements were made with rather more independently minded sole traders, all of whom were united in that most precious of successful business foundation platforms - "cash is tax free".
oh, yes, Christmas tv guides. same deal as last year, really, which is to say that the magazine designed for commoners and the working classeshe TV Times, is what i went with.
why? economics. let us be honest here. such are my obligations and commitments in this life that it is rare, seldom even, that i get to watch much television. also, i never really read this annually purchased tv guide. to this extent, as i am purchasing a tv guide but once a year purely to service nostalgia, it really strikes me that paying £3.75 for the nostalgia pushed my way with the TV Times is economically more sensible than the frankly eye watering £4.90 demanded for the Radio Times. i suppose the differential in cost - £1.15 unless i am terribly mistaken - is symbolic of the gap between us working class TV Times readers, and the bourgeois, middle and upper class ruling elite who shall not tolerate anything but the Radio Times in their stately homes.
any particular highlights over Christmas? the usual, really. a substantial number of James Bond films grace ITV, as do a significant number of Star Wars films. over on the (posh) BBC, there does seem to be a fair few of them Disney / Marvel films to watch.
the big question, but of course, is how, when and where can one see Bullseye over Christmas. in respect of an answer, let me quote what is widely regarded as the greatest Festive based novel ever written (no hang on i think it was a different one but let me ride it out); it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
Challenge TV has really stepped up to the plate this year, if you will forgive the American nature of that celebratory statement. on the good side, there are hours and hours of Bullseye to be watched. the bad, or if you like down, side is the hours they are being screened. above is the guide for Christmas Day, or if you will December 25. yes, that's a whopping three hours and ten minutes of Bullseye magic, but alas it all kicks off at 11pm at night.
anything missing over Christmas, according to the TV Times? oh hell, yes. i have indeed scoured the listings for Channel 5 for each and every day listed (Dec 22 to Jan 4), and there is no indication whatsoever that they shall be screening that most loved of Yuletide entertainment treats, Chas & Dave Cockney Christmas Knees Up 1981. sure, the version they broadcast was somewhat heavily edited (all instances and references to Jim "nick nick" Davidson are gone), but still. you would have thought that this year, the year in which we sadly lost Chas out of Chas and Dave, they would have gone to town with repeat broadcasts. but, no.
it is just as well, then, that i have my Chas & Dave Greatest Christmas CD to hand, the one i purchased off Poundland for a fee that was neither north nor south of £1, a few years ago. this, and the fact that the Chas & Dave Cockney Christmas Knees Up is available on that there You Tube thing, shall see me through.
but what about New Year's Eve? well, i think Madness are doing that BBC 1 concert which goes over the chimes of Big Ben (if they switch them back on), but yes, yet again Challenge TV has secured my patronage for the last evening of the old year and the first morning of the new.
how excellent is that? six hours of Bullseye, if my mathematics are correct, starting at 10pm and ending at 4am. should my plans work out, i shall be sat watching all of that, then. there will be ample commercial breaks, which i will use as an excuse to visit the bathroom, go and smoke, make a cup of tea and all that sort of thing.
well, anyway, that's my Christmas tv guide post for this year then. should i make it that far, i would well imagine that another one of this nature shall be posted very close to the same time next year. but possibly without quite so much of Sir Jimmy.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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