Texas Chainsaw 3D

hi there

well, i was at something rather close to a loose end earlier today. i decided, then, to do what any normal person would do, which is to go and watch Texas Chainsaw 3D at 9am. it is almost as if a Thursday morning was conjured up with doing such a thing very much in mind.

why go and see that film? i take it as a given if you are asking that it's the case that you don't know me. to clarify, then - despite a wide range of films to chose from, as you can see in the picture below, only one had someone in a mask made of human skin waving a chainsaw on the poster. my general rule is that if a film has a chainsaw in it then it gets watched.

not really particularly clear on the picture above was the fact that the cinema was not accepting complimentary or discount tickets for this film. nice one! that surely meant that they only wanted customers who were prepared to put their money where their mouth is watching this film. i was delighted to learn that i would not be watching the film with any freeloaders. actually, as it turned out, i did not watch the film with anyone else at all, but more on that later.

the next picture misses out the warning about no free tickets accepted but does have quite a class flash reflection on it, censoring some of the detail of the human skin mask for the more sensitive reader.

how bad, exactly, could a film with a class poster like that be, exactly?

if the above poster has upset you somewhat, here you go, cast it from your mind with a look at the minions from Despicable Me 2, which they had a rather large display for.

on the subject of promoting other films, all i had before the film started was trailers - no adverts for Coke or anything. that was nice! i appreciated the trailers for The Wolverine, Star Trek Into Darkness and, in particular, Man Of Steel,  but readily admit to being baffled as to why on the front of a film called Texas Chainsaw they would feel the need to show adverts for Epic and Monsters Inc 2, both being animated films for the whole family but children specifically. 

i was quite excited, to speak the truth, about the idea of finding out who else would think it a very class idea indeed to watch Texas Chainsaw 3D at 9am on a Thursday morning. as it turned out, i was the only person, apparently, who thought this was a class idea, as i had the cinema to myself! this has happened to me a fair few times over the years - i recall watching Patriot Games and Apt Pupil on my own, off the top of my head. 

i used the solitude as an excuse to get some pictures for you, dear reader. although it's pretty pointless taking pictures of a 3D film on a blueberry phone thing in general. in particular, i suppose, when i believe this film is already out on blu ray in the rest of the world. 

although, now that i think and look at these pictures, as you can possibly see and make out for yourself it was one of those 3D films that not a very great deal of was in 3D. a number of these films that they make you pay more to watch because they are in 3D tend not to make much use of the technology at all. i didn't see them at the cinema, but i am assured that things like Thor and Captain America had so few sequences in 3D that you could sit and watch it without the glasses in comfort.

regular readers (bless you) will recall that i do not particularly care for this whole 3D trend anyway. it's a silly gimmick, and needs to go away soon. why then did i go and see a 3D film? did you see the word chainsaw in the title, yeah?

i suppose i should give a review of the film too, but not before another picture. this i believe is Leatherface, or who we used to call Leatherface, preparing a recently severed hand in a sink.

i am inclined not to put any sort of spoiler warning here. if you're going to go and watch a film like Texas Chainsaw 3D then you know what you are going for and it isn't plot twists. this does have something of a twisty, strange plot though. if you want to know nothing, skip this section and keep reading after the next picture!

the film starts straight off after the events of the first Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with a bunch of vigilantes, somewhat Nightmare On Elm Street style, burning down the house of Leatherface's family and apparently killing all the people associated with it. except a baby, which a couple from the vigilante gang decides to keep.

skip forward 25 years and we find the baby has grown up to be a girl working in a supermarket. another member of the house, her paternal grandmother, survived the attack it seems, but is now dead and has left her luxurious house to her. the slight problem is that who we knew as Leatherface, but is now called Jed or Jeb or something like that, lives in the basement. i think you can guess what happens next.

here's an almost halfway decent screen shot of Leatherface / Jeb / Jed getting ready to do his thing with a chainsaw!

i would have to be honest and say that the film is rubbish. absolute crap, really. it only runs for 80 minutes but it drags out some sort of notion of a brilliant plot, limiting the amount of time that we get to see the kind of thing people who go and watch a film with the word chainsaw right there in the title wish to see.

there are a couple of decent chainsaw moments in 3D - the bit where Leatherface (or whatever) decides to throw his chainsaw at a member of the constabulary is rather class, as is the bit where he's cutting in to a box (of sorts) where someone is hiding. oh, and the bit where he gives an illustration of what an Achilles heel is exactly, and why it can be problematic if it gets sawn into. overall, though, there were just too many non-chainsaw bits for my liking. i don't want to see Leatherface messing about with axes and hammers, he should be tackling everything with a saw!

one last picture from the screen, then. i think this is the bit where he puts someone on a meat hook. not bad, but not as impressive as either of the similar scenes in the original film or the remake from 10 or so years ago.

i am in the peculiar position of not really being able to advise my fellow chainsaw enthusiasts to bother going to see this one. the moments i mentioned above are rather impressive (in the realm of damage done with chainsaws), but there's what, only 3 or 4 of those moments? i am almost certain that this film will play just fine in standard 2D, so if you see the DVD or blu ray disc going cheap go for it, but do not go out of your way for it.

9am on a Thursday may well be my new time for the cinema, to be honest. it didn't look like there were too many people in any of the other screens, and to tell the truth the staff looked a bit puzzled that anyone at all was there at that time of day!

yep, that's my ticket above, which translates as about US$7 or £4.50 for a 3D movie, which i believe is rather good going. i think it was twice as much for Spiderman in the UK last year.

not quite the awesome chainsaw festival for breakfast that i had hoped for, but a rather good morning out and about anyway!! nice one if this has been of interest to anyone!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hmn.......

hi there

this is a subject i said i would try and avoid on this blog, for there are already far too many opinionated clowns at this particular farcical circus. however, the appearance of the first two "most read" headlines from News24 in the below screenshot merited, i feel, a mention.

so, "semi-naked" pictures appear as the constabulary mess about with that poor girl's phone, do they? by sheer coincidence, i am sure, the same thing has happened with the rather sickening pictures from the crime scene.

by the way, yes, "encrypted" is just a fancy way of saying "password protected" in this case.

a return to my more usual type of post next.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

train

hi there

blimey. i am looking at the amount of pictures i took and subsequently uploaded here today and feel somewhat daunted by the task ahead. Gillian, in her wisdom, requested or suggested a blog post about the journey i was to take today, so here it is!

i had reason today to go to that fine, fine city of Pretoria. it is a truly magnificent place, but has one major flaw - the road system. Pretoria consists of a horrid series of one way streets and it is all but impossible for a visitor to get where they want to be in one shot. they also don't really particularly care for helpful street signs, to be honest. reason enough, then, to simply take the Gautrain to the place.

the above picture shows off the Midrand train station in the distance. this was taken something like half way from my car towards this station. quite a busy and distant car park it has! this part shall be of some minor relevance later in the story.

i was quite pleased to find the train station, to be honest. although i have lived in the area for quite some time, and indeed saw all the construction type vehicles going about, i had never had the reason to find out exactly where the station was. with good fortune there were a number of signs pointing in the general direction of it, and a number of "feeder" buses that i could merrily follow.

i doubt i would have missed the station had i just rolled in the car, for it is bloody massive. here's the way in and out for cars, beautified with an advert for McDonalds.

i am not at all surprised that McDonalds has taken significant advertising out around the train stations. all of the Gautrain stations seem to have a McDonalds very close to them, which was a bonus for me as you will see later on. food and drink, you see, are not allowed anywhere near the train stations and absolutely not allowed anywhere near the trains. kind of strange, to be honest, but i suppose it helps keep them clean. the security, i believe, get quite heavy handed around people why try to break this rule. i didn't.

as bloody massive as the station seems from the grounds they take up, Gautrain stations tend to be surprisingly small when you get inside. a reverse TARDIS, if you like. all stations seem to only have 2 platforms, which i suppose is all one needs for the exceptionally limited range and scope of the whole project.

here's where you gain access to the two platforms, so long as you have one of their snazzy gold smart card thingies and it has some money on it.

the no food and drink policy is certainly of benefit when you see how incredibly clean and shiny the whole thing is, so long as these pics off of my blueberry phone thing show the shine. yes, regular readers, i know i showed off the Gautrain before when i took a ride to the airport, but these are all different stations for your viewing pleasure.

as clean and shiny as it all is, it does not feel in any way at all like a regular, usual train station. the whole concept of it was really to try and just get rid of killer traffic between Johannesburg and Pretoria, as well as the airport. i wouldn't go as far to say the stations are sterile and cold, but they are never likely to form a fond memory as part of a day out - something that would be the case with European train stations.

as you can see in the above picture, everything about the platforms say "get on the train, get off the train, get out". no seating available for the gentry of the public at the Midrand platform, although you can sort of sit on the "lip" thingie on the wall. if they were designed to be seating areas, well, they have a funny idea of the anatomy of people who use trains and how they would sit in comfort.

train stations should be all about buying a newspaper, a bag of sweets, a drink and things like that. a bit of a shame that doesn't happen here, but there you go. it's highly unlikely that trains here shall ever be delayed by snow or "the wrong kind of leaves", so i guess it is give and take.

the trains here are however subject to being delayed by the rampant theft of electricty cables by the more dishonest members of society. that and the inability of the electricity people here to do the f*****g job they are paid very well to do and keep the electricity grid working. that they are reliant on electricity, one thing you cannot, shockingly, ever rely on as being a constant in this country, would make me highly unlikely to rely on these for going to verk on a daily basis.

oh look, here comes the train.

and what a lovely train it is too! James calls it the "bullet train", perhaps because of how fast it is. i think it looks like a glorified, shiny version of the old InterCity 125. i always liked that train, so i guess happy days. as long as it does its job i really don't usually care for what something looks like.

i did wish to get a few pictures from the window on my journey. alas, i felt a touch uncomfortable doing so. firstly, my blueberry makes a clicky clicky noise when i take pics, a feature which apparently puts off them internet predator types from using them to take sneaky pictures. secondly, sat near me on the train was one of those types of lady - the kind that seems interested and indeed judgemental about everyone and everything, seemingly mithering in others' affairs. as i had no wish to attract her interference, i more or less kept the phone in my pocket, but i did get the one picture on the journey to Pretoria.

that, reader, is the UNISA buildings in Pretoria. magnificent, they are. over the years i have visited that set of buildings with friends such as Spiros, Otto, Olivia, Nicky, Sylvia and way too many to list here.

sight of UNISA meant that Pretoria had been reached, something confirmed by the sign at the next station after i saw the UNISA buildings.

considering Pretoria is a major city, it is a touch fascinating that the rail station for it resembles a slightly enhanced version of what you would find serving as a station on a rural rail route through the Dales. with cheap(ish) fuel and massive roads, no one thought that a public transport system would ever be required here, you see. well, at least not for the rather more honky variant of resident of this country. the infrastructure, alas, has truly gone to Third World hell here over the last decade or so, and thus things like this are needed, since former part time President and full time world tourist Thabo Mbeki decided to cancel things like new highways and new powerstations, less a slight raise in tax to pay for them bruised his famously thinly protected ego.

what was i doing in Pretoria anyway? can't say at this stage, really. but if you want to see, here is a carefully obscured image of where i might have been going.

yes, the picture did come out blurry, hence the text above. sorry for the veil of secrecy. all, however, went very well indeed on my trip, and it was a success. those who need to know will know what that means, those who do not know will, at the least, hopefully be delighted to hear that my adventure today was smooth.

here is a picture of, amongst other things, the big massive Lewis building. i think Lewis sell chairs and that, not sure to be honest.

i include it here for my own reference, really. it's to remind me of where i need to turn on my next trip back to the same, blurry place. i had the address, but Pretoria has a fondness for sporadic and radical name changes in general, for street names in particular.

after i had conducted my business in Pretoria, i went for a pleasant stroll around back towards the general direction of the train station and was delighted to find this place on the way.

 

we have heard of it, and have wished to take the boys up to this museum one day. however, we've not known how to get there, or if it is reasonably close to the train station. those two things are now combined, really, as it's a straight walk from the train station for a few minutes and there you are. straight in the pure direction sense of course, and not in the sexual meaning. i suspect going to a museum is not in any way dependant on your sexual preferences. i don't know for certain, as i am not Mr Museum, but i think it's a pretty safe guess that it is not an issue.

moving, as it were, back on to some sort of point, and just why is it that we would very much like to take the boys to this museum? two clues await you in the very next picture.

yes, dinosaur bones. quite a few inside, apparently. i would imagine these on display outside are some sort of metal and plastic replica ones of the real things inside, but they look impressive all the same!

infuriatingly, this museum is only open on weekdays. it, with its close proximity to the train station, represents an ideal, educational and fun weekend day out. ho hum, i think it remains open on weekdays that are public holidays, though, so we shall head up on one of those days!

more pictures of the dinosaur skeletons / bones outside? OK, sure!

onwards, then, towards a return to the train station. somewhat undermining my praise of Pretoria would be the evidence of their major issues with proper signs. the only time one sees an indicator of being in the right direction for the train station is here below, when basically you are already stood outside the thing.

nice though the signs are, mind.

as Pretoria seems to have its own always on solar heating, and on to the max temperature, i was dry and parched. knowing that i could not get anything to eat or more importantly drink once i had passed the gates of the train station, i went in to the McDonalds close to the station.

i did, i confess, walk past a KFC a bit earlier. i should have stopped off at the KFC for a KFC breakfast, i know, but for some reason i could not be bothered. i am still quite angry at The Colonel for selling fake double down burgers here, i suppose.

want to see what i got at McDonalds? sure you do.

note i said see what i got, not what i ordered. that would be a sausage and egg "mcmuffin" when i ordered and paid for a sausage "mcmuffin". yes i scored, in a sense, as i got a more expensive meal than what i handed over coins for, but still it is not what i wanted. i don't like eggs at the best of times, and certainly not what McDonalds consider to be eggs. the mind boggles as to exactly what sort of interference the producers of McDonalds eggs get up to with the arses of the chickens that produce them. i saw a Swedish film once, thanks to Spiros, that gives a hint as what they might be doing to them, but i would rather not think of that and certainly don't want to eat them ever again.

off, then, to the station, with me no longer feeling quite so dry. here's the Pretoria station for the Gautrain, looking as it does like a quaint, post-modernist vision for a class little village library. one that you would design only if you really, really wanted to upset Prince Charles a very great deal.

i suppose it looks kind of smart. i think a friend of mine, let's call him Spider, grew up to be one of them architect types. i really should ask him why it is people design these curvy, glassy things at the top of buildings. is it because they've got a bit of space left on the paper?

onwards and inwards, then, to the magnificence of the long platform thingie that is, apparently, platform A and platform B. 

not the greatest, most magnificent or opulent train station in the world, is it? as far as i am concerned it serves its purpose, although one can't see that little twat with the glasses and the owl catching a train to magic school from here.

there is a gesture, oddly, of seating here at Pretoria station. i don't know if you can make them out, but there's some sort of metal bar things in the middle of this platform. it's like they said "sit here if you want to, or indeed if you must". they are not particularly comfortable at all, to tell the truth. what's wrong with a big, long plastic or metal bench, exactly? i must really check if Spider is one of them architect thingies and see if he can advise me on this matter.

as i mentioned before, the idea of public transport of this nature is fairly alien in this country, in particular to use paleface / vanilla types. to that end, then, i saw none of the things one would usually see people doing at train stations. not one iTwat was being played with or listened to, and no one was bashing about on their laptop. everyone was kind of standing with some sort of reverence, waiting for the train to arrive. well, they could hardly sit.

as i could not be bothered to wrestle with the ways and means of sitting on these metal bar things they put out for us, i thought i would have a go at a picture of myself for your pleasure. all i can say is i trust you are pleased really easily, for i seem to have my "is this bloody thing working" look on the go.

no, my looks are not getting better with age, are they? that said, i remain flattered and mystified that Simon Le Bon out of Duran Duran (and, yes, Arcadia) is trying to look like me with his beard. i accept it as a tribute, of course, but why he wishes to pay homage to me is anyone's guess. rather glad it's him and not John Taylor, though, as John Taylor would look like a total dick with a beard.

and yes, Zama, if you are reading, the answer is yes. that is the jacket you "obtained" for me. i thought if i was going to go to Pretoria on a train, even a fancy one like the Gautrain, then i had best dress in a way you would advise me to.

speaking of which, oh look, here comes the train again.

on the train ride back, now that i think about it, i did see someone fiddling with one of them iTwat things. or maybe it was an e-reader. i would hope it was as intelligent as the latter. the only thing i am aware of that one can do with an iTwat is play Angry Birds, and if we are honest then someone whose imagination is at its limit with the idea of playing Angry Birds on a train probably should not be allowed on the train. the ban on food and drink is a glorified way of saying "no riff raff", after all.

what was the journey like? well, somewhat more interesting on the way back. a group of those "bloody" students were sat near me, and were discussing what was the best kind of artificial breast, saline or silicone filled. a male and female group of students, if it matters. i was unaware of one being able to get saline based breast implants, so there you go. nice to know that students retain high levels of conversations these days.

what was the journey like on a more practical level? amazing, really. from Midrand to Pretoria in 20 minutes is impossible by car, even if you cut out the parking side of it. that's more or less how long the train takes, although honestly i think it was less than 20 minutes. the cost was not all that high (i think i left at a peak time, returned at an off-peak time, bill was around R60 or so) and the trip was far, far better than ever possible in the traffic which plagues the roads.

if for some reason you need to be in either Johannesburg or Pretoria from the other city (or anywhere on the route) during the daytime all i can say is that you are a complete f*****g idiot if you take your car rather than the Gautrain. if for some reason i have to head towards Johannesburg in the near future then i will be taking this train instead. 

on my next trip i might well have a go on one of these "feeder" buses too, since they are either cheaper or free if you have one of those card things for the train. which i now do. i suspect the blog post on that trip might not be quite as extensive as this one, but you never know.

in the mean time, here's an attempt at one of those avant garde, arty farty self portraits of me as i watch the world go by. no, i don't know how to word that properly - if it's a self portrait then obviously it is of me. 

i was back at Midrand station before i had time to take any more pictures of consequence, so there are no more pictures of my train ride. i did briefly consider taking a picture of the cute little mini artistic urinals in the gents toilets for my friend Spiros, prone to liking such things as he is, but the cleaning staff looked like they were unlikely to be amused by such a thing. sorry, Spiros, go and have a look yourself.

all that was left for me to do, then, was to find my car amongst the vast number of cars parked some distance from the station. as you will be aware from the recent video update of my class indicators i of course did find my car, but to end things off here's a nice picture of it anyway.

yes, that car is unclean and yes that is a Tony Mowbray sticker on it. 

a rather nice, pleasant and productive morning out, then! it has probably taken you a lot longer to read this than either or the train journeys took, by the way. thank you very much indeed for sticking with it!

i trust this is what you wanted to read, Gillian?


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

indicators

hi there

i was having one of them Skype chat things with my dear Uncle Colin over the weekend.during our confabulation i mentioned in passing that i had recently (Friday) had the indicators on my car mended by the indicator mending people. Colin seemed rather impressed by this (the idea of me getting anything fixed on my car that is broken does tend to amuse those who know me), so i suggested that i should make a video of it. he seemed delighted by this idea.

and so, to that effect, here is the video of me doing my indicators. i have not played it back myself, so i am unsure as to if my narration is loud and clear on it. feel free to leave a comment and let me know.

if there's music on it too, that would be the sounds of The Buzzcocks. i am sure Pete Shelley will not mind a snippet appearing here, will he?

Jayson, if you are reading - fear not, you remain my mechanic and mender of priority choice. i just needed the indicators sorted out rather quick. taxi drivers were having a go at me for not indicating, you see, and when such a group of people - who would not be out of place at Mos Eisley, recalling Obi-Wan's description of the place - make such comments it is time to act!

right, all i can say is that i trust you have enjoyed this video!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bowie's Life On Mars?

hello again

nothing really, just a heads up for those readers here who don't go on that facebook thing. David Bowie, apparently quite excited about how well his album The Next Day has done, has taken something of a shine to giving away lots of things.

the latest Dave prize is a framed copy of the recent picture disc reissue of the classic Life On Mars? single. a picture disc implies something to see, so here it is!

quite smart looking, that!

in order to enter you need to toddle along to this webpage here, fill in the details, answer the question and off you go. good luck!

i would say that if you do not know the answer to the question you have no business trying to win it, but then again you might win it and want to give it to me. it's not Richard Wright or Jon Lord. there, i have not given you the answer!

the competition closes 1 July 2013. best of luck!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

play

hello there

well, so long as all concerned are blessed with further miracles of the post office, within a couple of weeks (three, perhaps four) family around the world should be taking delivery of a smashing new DVD. it features James' latest thespian exploits, for last week his drama club put on a terrific show for us!

in the mean time, owing to the fact that the Post Office might not deliver the parcels as quickly as one would hope, here are some screenshots from the film i took!

although not a part of the play, or the school for that matter, William saw no barrier to being in on the action, primarily as there was no barrier on the stage. you will see what i mean below!

before the play proper, James and his class gave us a rundown of all the exercises and activities they do in drama class. quite impressive they all are too, as you would expect i suppose.

James can not only recall his own lines perfectly, but he seems quite capable of remembering all the lines, and once or twice prompts his contemporaries with what they are supposed to be saying!

his drama teachers are highly impressed with him, as indeed are his parents! i would imagine all relatives will be, really, as and when the Post Office does their thing. it can't be all delivering maild and doing what they are paid to do you know, they have to do some strikes and go-slow action to ensure they do not get rusty.

speaking of all things rusty, one of the exercises involved pretending to play the trombone. James was so good at it that they called him up to do it twice! i did get a pretty good picture of him doing it, but it might be mistaken for an action that got David Bowie into a good deal of trouble at a train station in 1976, so i will not show it here!

as for the play itself, well, it was wonderful fun. i would not like to give all that much away from it before the film lands at family (insert less than complimentary comments regarding the Post Office here), but here's the one picture from it for now.

yes, James was indeed given the lead role, as the above picture / publicity shot gives a clue about!

as James really rather enjoys drama and acting we can only hope that he continues with it. he does have visions of being in a Star Wars or Jurassic Park film one day, but then again i suppose all children at some point dreamed of doing that. we shall continue to support and encourage him as long as he enjoys doing it!

what's that, you want another look at William invading the stage and making himself part of all that is going on? OK, sure, no problem!

if you are wondering if William can sometimes be a handful when out and about, the answer would be yes, yes again and oh hell yes. he's not too bad when i take him out and about with me on a weekend (Mummy and James prefer weekends to be in pyjamas), but he can have his moments!


blimey, i make that four updates in one day? hope you are happy, Gillian, and i shall do my best to do more updates rather soon! i think i've exhausted everything for now! best i bundle and post these discs before i write any more complaints about the Post Office!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

goers

hey again

want more t-shirts? OK, here you go!

these would be ones that, unless my (considerably) better half gets involved and rules against me, are going to depart my collection. whilst for the most part they are in good but substantially un-ironed condition, they don't fit me no more and i will not be taking the trouble to slim down in order to wear them. with some luck, then, one or two of these may find a good, new home.

first off, and it's a celebration of the two great intellectual icons of the 90s.

 

yes, that is indeed Beavis and Butt-Head. they remain possibly one of the funniest things i have ever seen, in particular the episode in which they reviewed the video for Ebeneezer Goode by The Shamen. many thanks to Spiros for recently obtaining that edition for me, by the way.

you will note in the above that the boys are not wearing their usual AC/DC and Metallica t-shirts. i suspect that is something to do with licensing and rights; the reason why these days you see things blurred out in TV shows. everything seems to require permissions and rights these days, which is a bit of a shame.

next are two shirts of exceptional sentimental value, but i think now is the time to maybe have someone else take pride in owning them. both, as far as i can recall, were gifts from my dear friend Shaun, who might perhaps be surprised to see that i still have them!

first up is one that can with some comfort claim to be "king of shirts", even if it is kind of an evil claim!

yes, this shirt is as truly breathtaking as it looks. i think in University a few girls spoke to me that normally would not have done so just because i was wearing the awesome ways of Dr Evil.

i wonder if an Austin Powers 4 will ever happen? Myers the creator seems only interested in voice work these days, as the only things i can think he has been in for the last decade or so are the Shrek films. the third Austin Powers film was somewhat rubbish, but no film that features Dr Evil is ever a waste of time.

next up is a shirt that seems, oddly, to be in as perfectly good condition as a Han Solo hibernating in carbon.

yes, that shirt does what it says on it, quite a celebration of Mark McGwire getting the home run record in baseball. a sport i rather like, actually - sadly it's on a strange times on the TV here, but i suspect they are not strange times at all in America.

i should perhaps have a look at that ebay thing with regards to this shirt, although not for an insane profit. there's bound to be a McGwire fan that would appreciate this and do something more than i have done, although me wearing it on a casual Friday once helped bring about 'guidelines' at verk with respect to casual Friday dress!

the back is pretty impressive too!

anyone who has got to the image of this Mark McGwire shirt via google or similar and is interested, message or something and well will sort something out!

and finally, for now at least, a shirt that i lived in at University. it has held up very well indeed condition wise, but now, close to 20 years after my student days.

behold, here is Student Grant as the poster (t-shirt) boy for the fine institution at which he, in a sense, studied.

i know someone who looks like that and is a student, and they were born a couple of years after this t-shirt was purchased. yes, Franny, i mean you.

right, enough visuals from my wardrobe for now! i have no doubt that a few more pictures of shirts i am keeping or getting rid of will feature here, so fear not those of you who are interested in them!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

matchday

hi again

after the t-shirt theatrics, a post closer to the type that family and friends would probably rather see here!

James' school recently had a massive "sports day" thing, with all winter-ish sports on display, sadly no cricket, then, so he could not show off his rather class batting gear that Father Christmas brought him. James could, however, use the goalkeeping gloves that he insisted i buy him "just in case" he decides to become a goalkeeper!

here he is, getting ready for the kick off!

in case you are wondering, yes, indeed if not oh yes. i was chased off by James not long after i took that picture. when one watches footage of England's greatest hour in the realm of football, one notices a distinct lack of Mr Banks snr running on to the pitch to take a picture of his son Gordon during the match. James felt that the same level or respect and behaviour should be shown with this match.

as far as his stint in goal went, rather well to tell the truth. he made one or two decent saves, no doubt helped by the ace Predator gloves that he had on. on that note, i am most disappointed that the Predator gloves are most un-Predator-like in the sense i was hoping. there's no thermo-nuclear bomb control on them, and there's certainly no special button one can press to make class blades pop out.

the opposition, alas, were rather good, and as a consequence they did manage to sneak one or two (well, two) goals past James.

sorry for showing the one he didn't save; i seem not to have taken any decent pictures of the saves he made. i was probably too busy applauding or encouraging him!

Mummy and William were there watching too, of course, and during a break in games they took the liberty of "sharing" a yoghurt.

William's interpretation of "sharing" is an interesting one. when you offer him something to share, it becomes his and his alone. i am pretty sure he gets that from his Mum......

moving on to the second match, and James had a crack at being a striker. well, a defender-striker-midfielder, really, as did his whole team. and all of the opposition. watching both teams run around in one big gang after the ball reminded me of the great tactics Middlesbrough usually employ, although there is a difference in that it seemed to actually work in the case of James' team.

the match finished 1-1 thanks to a last minute penalty won - and indeed scored - by James! he was very happy with himself after that, even if the tackle was a bit harsh, even by standards for the age level!

James was excellent at point and shouting at his team mates about what to do, and as he had the talent to back it up i have no doubt that he will one day be a great midfield maestro. he's certainly much, much better at the sport than i ever was!

other than the borderline offensive start time - why do schools insist on starting things off before the sun is up on a Saturday? - a wonderfully pleasant day out! well done James!

later om, and this probably does not fit in here, William was very excited about the idea of me taking further pictures. here's why!

William, for some reason, wanted a picture of him coughing. i suppose it's not something you would usually see yourself doing, now that i think. he is not, i should stress, actually ill at the moment - he was just doing his "pretend" coughs for the benefit of the camera. he certainly seemed to be happy with how the pictures came out, if that's worth anything!

more updates later!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keepers

hi there

well, in a round about sort of way, no less than my sister Gillian mentioned that i have not done all that much on my blog of late. sorry about that, i just really don't seem to find the time to do it! that, you would imagine, means that i have a fair bit to report on here. this is pretty much the case, so i will try over the next few days.

to start with, as the last post i did on some t-shirts i am not keeping was for some reason quite popular, here are a few t-shirts that i shall keep until the end of time, whether they fit me or not. do not make any sort of approach or offer for them unless the idea of me saying "no" is one that amuses you greatly.

a couple of these shirts are, to say the least, offensive. these images are not for children, so please consider yourselves warned!

first up is one that has featured here before - an ace Station To Station t-shirt!

i got the above from the magnificent Record Store website without even asking for it! i ordered the 12" and the CD single of some Golden Years remixes and this arrived with it! quite a magnificent gesture and certainly an unexpected bonus!

it's a 'large' size and i doubt i will ever fit in to it, but it's mine!

next up is one i mentioned before, and here it is on its side, since Blogger insists on rotating it when i upload it.

one of two Stone Roses shirts i have that remains in decent condition and thus will be retained. the other is for the Waterfall single, but oddly i did not find it as i was sorting out. i suspect that if i had a look in Michele's cupboard i might just find it! 

i very much doubt i would flatter the She Bangs The Drums artwork if i attempted to squeeze into that shirt again, but yes, as you are aware, i am keeping it!

next up is perhaps my most treasured item of clothing, if one treasures clothing. well, there are probably one or two extra-special pairs of boxer shorts that i have, but i am not putting pics of them up here and further am certainly not saying why. a number of my friends shall instantly clock what the below is, even if it is not the logo one usually associates with the band.......

yep, that's my Frankie Goes To Hollywood tour jumper, purchashed after the concert via mail order, i think. i bought a t-shirt and the programme on the night!

it is in surprisingly very good condition still! i suppose i have quite by accident looked after it by means of not taking it out too much.

here's the back of it, and yes indeed that first date listed is the gig i was at with my Uncle Colin!

every now and then someone has a go at me for more often than not writing in lower case alone. well, looking at the Frankie name above, is it any wonder that i do? quite a big influence on me, Frankie. they were and shall forever remain to be. i do not, however, form part of the voices that want to see the band get together again. they were brilliant, but simply don't particularly get along with each other anymore. if they wanted to get back together and make new music then fine, but if they did it just for money it would be a very sad bookend to the band.

right, on to the "controversial" range of my t-shirts. all of these have caused trouble and offence in the past, so you have been warned - if you don't like, don't look!

where better to start than with two shirts from the 1991 Tin Machine tour? they had a fair range of shirts available, but with me being, what, 18 or so, there was only ever going to be two of them that i would buy. the first one is the one that i thought would cause the least trouble, but not the case!

the above is/are the Greek Kouros/Kouroi statue/s which appear on the Tin Machine II album cover art. unless you live in America, where the "fiddly bits" were covered up. on that note, i wonder if these shirts were on sale at the gigs in the USA? it's strange that accepted art gets censored when it is all of a sudden associated with music.

i thought that i would be OK wearing this one to college, but alas not! i was ordered to cover it up, and then never wear it again! i may have worn it once or twice at University after that, mind.

want to see the back? of course you do.

a trifle generic, isn't it? i would have loved to have the date on that one (November 5, 1991 if you are asking), but alas no. i am guessing that they went ahead with the t-shirts before knowing all the dates and venues.

now, the one that i assumed would cause the most trouble, for all sorts of reasons, but did not. don't read it if you don't like being told certain things by, as it happens, David Bowie himself.  i think, but more on that just after the picture.

quite a statement, is it not? there was no way at all that wasn't getting bought, if i have the correct use of language there. it says it all for me, really. as i have said on numerous times (most notably on a post that i am very happy to see as being popular, the Tin Machine myth), they were a great band and did some fantastic music. lazy music journalists seem to take delight at saying it was a "mess" of a project without either listening to the band or taking note of the record sales.

as for the statement on the shirt, is it something that David Bowie said? i believe so yes, although i have never found the interview in which it is claimed that he did. as he wore, for the encore, a shirt that says "I'm IN" Tin Machine rather than the above, he clearly endorsed the shirt!

want a close up look? of course.

i have no idea at all how many of these shirts are around. a quick look on that ebay thing says that none at all are for sale. i would imagine that people who bought them have kept and treasured them, much like i have and shall continue to do so!

neither of the above, oddly, has caused me as much trouble as the next, last t-shirt has. it's one i simply will not ever wear again and nor will i part with it. what could cause more offence than the above, you ask? a celebration of A Clockwork Orange, apparently. and in fairness, a pretty justified level of offence.

exactly what has caused offence in the above? well not, as you might have concluded, the images of one of the sinister rape scenes from the film, but the parts below it. the appearances of swastikas has upset more than one person in my lifetime, and it's hard not to understand.

exactly why whichever artist created the above insisted on using the Nazi imagery - it appearing only briefly as part of the Ludovico technique and hardly relevant to the film entire - is a mystery to me. it could be as thick as they were of a right-wing tendency and wanted to include it, or it could be as intelligent as underlining what Kubrick and of course Burgess were saying of the society depicted in the film.

a younger me no doubt argued the artistic merits and context of use (and all that cal) but i honestly think, outside of its appearance here, this one is best left on a shelf unseen.

if for some reasons you ignored the warnings and were offended by parts of this post, sorry! for everyone else, i hope you have seen something of interest!


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!