Friday, June 01, 2018

bespoke, boutique, designer laces

hello there


blimey, how did that happen. we are, look you see, into the central part of another year. whilst i get a sense of distance travelled, one saying does ring true - the older you get, the faster time feels like it just goes away. oh, to be sure, well. there is little of anything else but nothing one can do.

in the time that i have had, a quite common questions posed to me is whether or not i am a "hard man", in the prone to victory in bouts of physical violence sense. this has no doubt come to be a question due to that fabled old saying or understanding; you can judge or take the measure of a man by the company he keeps.

generally, my answer is no, not really. i am quite of that "can't we all just get along" frame of mind, although this is of course not always possible. but, that said, i do seem prone to brutal, unspeakable violence when confronted with shoelaces, going on how often i am required to purchase new ones.



either i end up snapping the laces on my boots clean in two, or otherwise that plastic bit on either end of the lace, the "aglet", gets all mangled and loose and unusable. when either, or in some instances both, happen, there is little i can do but curse my apparent violent leanings and arrange to purchase more.

in this instance, as you can possibly see quite clearly above, i selected or otherwise elected to purchase some from Sports Direct, that well known emporium for a range of garments and related accessories, such as shoelaces. yes, i happened to be in a branch or if you will chapter of this much cherished brand, spotted them and remembered, or recalled, that i required some.

as for the company i keep, well, yes, there are quite a few gents of the "hard man" status that i consider friends. for a start, there is "One Punch Perumal", who is a formidable opponent for anyone who dares cross him. if his name were on a box, i assure you he does exactly what it says on the box. also Fraser, who implements prison style punishment on anyone who he considers as being transgressors of any unwritten laws or rules he happens to think of. and then there is Spiros.



when the question is posed "are there any pictures of [me] and Spiros looking like a right pair of twats", the answer is as straightforward as yes, surely, any image of the two of us would fit that criteria. for a change of pace, then, here above is an image of us looking as such in suits, just to make it all sophisticated and classy and all that. a bit Bryan Ferry, i suppose.

many of you, i know, only read this blog from time to time so as you may be briefed on the latest adventures of Spiros. with this in mind, i suppose i do not need to go into much detail regarding his hard man credentials. an overview would be that, as well as being the greatest legal mind of his generation, he is also a truly gifted gladiator. usually he is most comfortable when wrestling men, naked, but he is also fluent in the language of kung fu. further, he will fight any and all London cabbies in whatever format of combat they so choose. he does not care, he knows they will lose.

interestingly enough, Spiros no longer wears shoes that require laces. he is strictly a slip on sort of gent now, although he is not above wearing flip flops and similar. this, predictably maybe, goes back to an unfortunate misunderstanding with one of the gentlemen who he had a short term yet mutually beneficial friendship with. some sort of jape or foolery the two of them got up to, as it were, involved one saying to the other that their shoelaces were undone. i say unfortunate, but it is with interest that i have noted over the years he does not speak of any regret when mentioning the matter.



no, the above is not some sort of mistake or "photoshop" concern. these new laces did indeed cost me £2.99, or if you like 1p south of £3. and to confirm, yes i did really, genuinely purchase these at Sports Direct, despite what seems like an extravagant cost for what is effectively two one hundred and twenty centimetre lengths of string.

as has featured on this blog before, Sports Direct is a name which is almost a term in itself, and further one that has come to be used as a colloquialism or similar for "cheap, cheapest, none more cheap". with this not just being in respect of their approach to staff. to pay so much as i did for one single item in Sports Direct is unheard of. what can i say; i assume Sports Direct are branching out a bit, so as they may also attract a higher class shopping demographic.

do i dream of being wardrobed exclusively in the clothing and wares of Sports Direct? partially. it all looks like an idyllic life for one to aspire to. those who dress only in Sports Direct clothing seem to have a perfect, care free life, in which they do not concern themselves with work or any other such meaningful contribution to society. and yet they are able to live in a property, watch expensive TV channels, swill white cider and energy drinks and smoke. yes, i suppose i would like to have a go at that lifestyle.



there's one of the laces, showcasing the aglet or whatever it is, in situ, so to speak, or if you will in place on one of my boots.

how are these laces working out? well, despite reservations and concerns on the price of them, i must say rather well. thus far they have done a magnificent job of keeping my boots securely on my feet, enabling me to stroll and so forth. and, to this point, any primordial hard man instincts of mine when it comes to laces has met with tacit resistance, apparently, for no damage or harm has visibly befallen them.



would i recommend or otherwise endorse these "Mr Lacy" shoe and boot laces off of Sports Direct? not easily, or without qualification. it would trouble me greatly if i said "yes, they are smart", and then someone went and took a high interest loan so as they may afford them. these laces are working, yes, but if they are working in a manner which is really 300% better or more effective than a pair you could get off of Poundland is highly debatable.

no, i am not certain or sure that there is anything else i could say about shoe or boot laces at this stage. with that being the case, well, that would be that for this post.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




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