it is a commonly accepted truth, look you see, that the greatest problem facing the modern, forward thinking world is the ludicrous price placed on fags (not what you think, Americans) in the UK. and other countries. that even the French have enough sense (i think) to charge less for them that the price of them on the shelf in the UK is testament to the sorry state we, living here, are in. just as recently as today (well, the day what i wrote this) i saw a few gents scouring a public bin for fag ends (again, not what you're presently thinking, Americans), so desperate are our times.
much of my problem, or plight, of course is all down to my being unable to find one of these apparently plentiful but steadfastly (in my experience) "fag houses", where entrepreneurs secure a supply of directly, border evasive cigarettes and sell them at a reasonable price. yes, i absolutely would love to engage in a mutually beneficial business arrangement with such. to those who would say "but that's illegal", i would say that's a f*****g shame, don't make the ills of society my issue.
perhaps, and i have speculated on this matter before, i should just switch to heroin. for some reason them, those in power, have decided heroin is so marvellous that they are quite happy to (funded by the tax on my fags, by the way) just give it away for free to junkies. cigarettes, no, just punish people. well, they give heroin away for free everywhere but, going on the news, Scotland. apparently that very angry lady in charge of the parish council up there is a staunch disciple of how Mbeki dealt with AIDS in South Africa - it's a lot cheaper to just blame something else and let people die.
stuck, as i am, then, with purchasing cigarettes via the "conventional" (as in legal) means available, i have sought to get the cheapest. these were, i believed, them Players Red ones. remarkably, at least at time of writing, south of £10 a packet, they are OK once you get used to them. but still, everything about them screams they are the preferred smoke of salty sea dogs, them ones with sunburned leather skin, a squint, angry incomprehensible modes of dialogue and undoubtedly guilty of doing all sorts of unspeakable things to impressionable cabin boys under the pretence than certain things are legal, if not admittedly normal, under maritime law conditions.
as luck, or fortune, would have it, i was able to catch sight of a fag (cigarette, Americans) price list in one shop. this is something that is supposedly freely available, but seldom is, and one rarely wishes to request an inspection of it, for you just get a load of people wanting to buy scratchcards or return various garments tutting at you.
on this list, which i read as quickly as i could, i noted that there were a couple of brands of fags which had managed to stay at a cost even lower that Players Red. whilst i did not see them all, it looked like the previous classic choice of the working man, Embassy, are still a thing. but, as i vaguely recalled being not so keen on them, i noticed another at a similar lower price, Carlton. so, i got some.
then i remembered, or recalled, yes, i had tried these before. a while ago, when once more wishing to find cheaper fags. my memories of them were not so good, in truth, but i thought perhaps, maybe, my system was now so f*****d it would not notice. even, still, there was a chance that whoever it is what makes Carlton fags had given some effort to improving the experience of smoking them.
no, and most decidedly no, were the answered attained (or obtained), pretty much as the above image was taken. it is simply not so that smoking Carlton fags (and i will assume Americans have established the correct use of the word by now) is in any way, shape or form a pleasant experience. they really are quite the thing of the cigarette world of using something French - should only be done in an absolute, no alternate emergency and hope for the best.
just quit, you say, or cut down considerably, rather than put myself through all of this? no, i shall not be letting them win this one.
will it be so, shall i, or am i likely to pursue further smoking of these Carlton fags? out of necessity, and by default, the answer with regret is yes, probably. unless i can broker a deal, or arrangement, with one of these magnificent sounding fag houses, or (and this is unlikely) some common sense comes into the thinking of those in charge of the prices for the fags on the shelf. getting proper packets for them back is unlikely, but proper pricing would be nice.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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