mandalorian and grogu

greetings

and so another cinema trip, which after a brief that there London (innit) flourish of such has become a somewhat rare thing. indeed it has been nearly a year since i last went to the movies, with the very excellent Superman luring me in, look you see. for this instance it was, after some nine (or so) years, the arrival of a new Star Wars film as a cinema thing, in the form of, as the title gives you every indication of it being, The Mandalorian & Grogu. 

for those seeking a kind of "spoiler free" review and somehow ended up here rather than on a proper web thing, well, no, it is unlikely to be possible to watch and "understand" (or follow) this without having seen all three series ("seasons", Americans) of The Mandalorian. also (of course) The Book Of Boba Fett, for one cannot really follow all of the series of The Mandalorian without seeing that. beyond that it is a pretty average film, to be both honest about it and quite surprised. not awesome or excellent, but certainly short of being disappointing. every now and then it is quite entertaining, but then (and mostly due to some horrific pacing decisions) it decides to brutally fight against being entertaining. 

right, that's just about as spoiler free as i can write. so, after the picture (below) things what are likely to give away some (a few) details will be present. you have, indeed, been warned. 

one of the more interesting, if not peculiar, things is that the ostensible main thrust (or gist) of the plot has been lifted from the initial movie ("pilot") of the animated The Clone Wars series. no, it is not exactly a new thing for Star Wars to borrow from itself, but still them going "hey, let's do another thing where Jabba The Hutt's otherwise unknown son gets kidnapped again" is a bit peculiar. 

quite likely that this underlines the main "problem" or issue here. as excellent as all the tele stuff has been what featured these two (2) characters, maybe the concept has now been exhausted. yes, the baby yoda (Grogu) character is infinitely cute and is always going to be class to see, but there's not that much they can do with the character remaining as a child ("youngling"). as for the theoretical protagonist, the Mandalorian himself, well, yes, he is a class fighter and bounty hunter. there are certain limits on just how many ways they can put a spin on this. hence, i suppose, the "borrowing" of a plot. 

much has been made of how they are all going "no no, this isn't a proposed 4th series condensed into a film, honest", yet that is precisely how this feels. very little, bar the AT-AT things getting twatted one at the start, appears filmed with "make use of the big screen" as an intention or, more pertinently, need. i would suggest that one of the most disjointed, time consuming sequences (you were warned of spoilers, but you are now warned again) - where Grogu attempts to restore health to the Mandalorian - is generally exhibit a here. had this part been an episode of a (standard 8 episode) series it would have been more better, giving time to show Grogu going, being able to fend for himself, etc. as a film sequence it drags on far too long and is just monotonous to sit through. 

no, it's not al as bad as the above bits (rant, if you like), suggest. there are moments of humour, fun and excitement. for "borrowing" stuff, well, when you realise (you saw the spoiler warnings yeah) that they have recreated the "space chess" thing off of the first (released) Star Wars film, you have to go that's a lovely touch. also the action scenes are decent, and there's the one line humour from the series. 

credit where it is due, mind - this is the first (i think) of the "new" Star Wars films not to feature a single major (or minor) character from the originals. indeed i was hoping for Lobot to turn up, but alas no. however, that said, one does have the feeling that the Sigourney Weaver character was likely supposed to be an outing for a CGI Princess Leia if they thought they could get away with it. 

where does this rank with the "new", or if you will Disney era, of Star Wars? it's nowhere near as dull, tedious and monotonous as the horrid Solo film, no matter how hard it tries at times. also it's not as fan baiting as the "let's let someone who really hates Star Wars make a film" ludicrously bad The Last Jedi was. i won't even have a pirate copy of that in my home, thanks. yet it lacks the excitement and familiar entertainment of The Force Awakens, and it is certainly nowhere near as good as the surprisingly brilliant Rogue One, a film which promised so much for the future. kind of sticking with average, then, for whilst you won't regret watching it you also won't be that fussed about ever watching it for a second time. 

highly likely that anyone wishing to see this film has, at least around the time i wrote this, already done so. there is a certain novelty factor in someone many, many years from now looking at this, curious about an "old" film they heard someone mention..........

live long and prosper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lynx number 10 (ten) under review

hello there

so, another month and another hygiene (of sorts) related post. at the least, in this instance, it is actual, or if you will personal, rather than sentimental, look you see. this is all most probably going to pertain to the imminent event what this particular thing is ostensibly, if not intrinsically (yet i think actually) linked to. which would be the Fifa World Cup 2026 of football (don't think Fifa actually do any other sport, but still) in good ole ye-ha America. oh, and the thing linked to it is a new deodorant (or scent) spray off of lynx (possibly still called axe in some parts of the world) called, as the title gives you every indication of being so, number ten. 

yes, the usual (standard) confession of clarification. i do indeed appreciate that the target market, or demographic, for lynx is feral teenagers so they may indicated their preparedness for breeding purposes. at the time of writing i am (considerably) north of three (3) times the age one should cease using the stuff. unfortunately it remains so that lynx are the only ones here (the UK) what do some occasionally and often incidentally decent deodorants for a somewhat reasonable price. 

as for endorsements, licencing, "official partners" and what have you for major events (normally of a sporting nature), well, really nothing new here. been going on for ages. oddly, and i do wish as far as possible to avoid the "politics" of this imminent World Cup, it has all been a bit sedate this time around, with major sponsors not ramming it down the throat of all and sundry, along with a general lack of excitement or, perhaps, interest in it all. could well be that the sponsors are wary and fans are weary at previous heavy handed policing of official sponsors by them what run it all. 

curious that, and again i am keen to avoid the "politics", the World Cup this year (2026) is being viewed as "the most dangerous" to try and attend, as well as being (for the most part) prohibitively expensive to get to. quite the statement when one considers where, exactly, the last 3 or 4 were held. well, it at the least seems to be viewed that way. in this curious century one is never quite sure if a view is that held by a real majority or simply the loudest on the "internet". 

for me there's a lack of interest purely because it has become too diluted. in the first instance, mind, the huge expansion of the number of teams (well, countries) participating seemed excellent. as it felt like it was reaffirming football as the global game. many countries that would not normally meet nor play each other would do so. however, the matches are spread far and wide, so most of the nations involved will be effectively isolated. there's also too many less than interesting games in the group stages, and the higher number of teams doesn't alter how the winner is going to come from a pool of five or six. 

but there is (of course) one really, really interesting group stage match. assuming it goes ahead. most, if not all, of the world are looking forward to Iran vs Egypt on June 27 (2026), since it has been officially declared the "Pride Match" of the tournament. the "gay game" is how most are referring to it, with the plan, intention and ambition being to introduce homosexuality (and other lgbtqia+ things) to both of those nations, irrespective of whether they care for them or not. as it happens, they do not. 

whereas i am (generally) all in favour of advocating tolerance and acceptance, with my view very much being that if you don't like gay relationships then don't be in one and get on with your life, but i am not sure how, exactly, a game of football is supposed to be a conduit to promoting homosexuality. i mean, are the players of each nation expected to engage in certain acts associated with the lifestyle? my understanding is that Iran are quite cross with it all, and are threatening to pull out (so to speak) of the tournament (see) because of it. well, that and some bombs and stuff. an idea is to replace them with Italy, which makes even less ("fewer") sense. it is widely known that Italy has reached a zeitgeist in terms of this, with the nation already featuring the highest concentration of homosexuals in Europe, if not the entirety of the northern hemisphere. such has been the success of encouraging homosexuality in Italy, under the banner siamo tutti omosessuali adesso, there is now a very real fear that ethnic Italians could become an endangered species if not extinct due to the phenomenally low level of heterosexuality in the nation. don't believe Egypt are all that keen either, but mostly i think they are shrugging and just getting on with it all. 

returning to the (vague) point here, and why is this lynx World Cup related deodorant called number 10? well, traditionally the "10" shirt was worn by the ostensible "hero" in a football team, being the striker, or if you will centre forward. as in the player who(m) would be expected to get the goals. these days, alas, they don't call that a "number ten" any more. some clever person somewhere decided that this should be described as a "false nine" and, to cover the fact that no one understood what that meant but had no wish to look foolish, everyone agreed to do so. 

how is the deodorant (or fragrance) in regards of what it is supposed to do? decent, surprisingly, and well done for persevering with this so far to find that out. generally lynx specialise in things what are heavy on a smell of musk, p!ss and various other undesirable things, with one or two exceptions. this is all rather pleasant, carrying a scent of fragile yet direct rose. makes little sense that it claims to be marine essence (whatever that is), citrus (which is usually their code for musk) and watermelon, but here we are. for some reason eau de watermelon is the rage with most things these days. it is not a bad thing, but it is just strange that all of a sudden everyone is like "f*** it, let us make it watermelon dudes". i suppose it's like if someone had a strange infatuation with shoving lemon into shampoo. 

somewhat confusingly the shower gel variation of number ten (it says it is also a shampoo but i will be f****d if i am putting it in my hair) has a different description, with the bottle saying it is a mix, or blend, of grapefruit (grailfrit) and water mint (whatever the hell that is). odd that it has the same name, then, with a different scent, but again it's not too bad. 

do i have any intention of watching any of the matches at the World Cup? potentially, yes. i believe the one i wish to watch the most (for reasons of Van Halen), England vs Panama, is on at the same time as the previously mentioned "gay game", which shall make for a tough choice. all of it is, as far as i am aware, on "free to air" tele, so there's every chance i will watch some of it. certainly not going anywhere near where the matches are being played, though. 

i seriously doubt my vague review of lynx (or, if we are honest, anything) counts for much. should i be at least partially mistaken in this then i am delighted to confirm that number ten (10) off of lynx is one of the less ("fewer") sh!t ones they do, being mostly hint (or exaggeration) of musk free. quite the shame it is a limited edition thing. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rolling stones - in the stars

howdy pop pickers

well, well. it seems that a pattern has formed in which i procure (purchase) a new single off of The Rolling Stones, or if you like the Rolling Stones, for the seem to drop the "The" bit off their name a fair bit these days, look you see. for those interested this three year (or triannual) thing, here you go, some links. back in those interesting days of 2020 they released one,  and then there was the 2023 release that the band, for some reason, elected not to sell in their very own shop in that there London (innit). 

and now here we are in 2026, with a new Stones (of Rolling) album on the way, and a new single out too. with the merry news that it is an actual, physical format single, and not that "dropped" digital streaming nonsense. you have likely worked out from the title of this post (if you were not aware already) that it is indeed called In The Stars. making this release all the more decent is that it is not just a one track affair, you get a "b-side" too, in the form of Rough And Twisted. as it happens these are the first two songs on the imminent (July, i think) album, Foreign Tongues. 

delighted, and if i am honest a bit surprised, to say that this is really, really good. how good? really very absolutely f*****g great, it is, to be sure. i would argue In The Stars has the best "hook", that which makes a song catchy, since if not Mixed Emotions then possibly Start Me Up. not that what they have done for the other 40 (!) or so years has been poor, just not really quite this grade a business. sure, on the record the "oooooooooo" backing vocal appears (sounds) less Sympathy For The Devil, more Bananarama, but you know what, f*** it, it sounds good.

easily one of the best features of this is the exceptional production work. all too often these days some tapes (discs) sound like they are the hideous, dull "optimised as in compressed and drained of soul" digital files intended for streaming services. this is loud, brash and has been produced to perfection. i strongly recommend this CD single for those who have forgotten just how vastly superior properly mastered compact discs are to streaming. even on my fairly basic (or at least fuss free) Sony this sounds a good deal more better than much i have played in the last few years. 

very good news from the b-side, Rough And Twisted. it's a really "oh wow" proper rhythm and blues number, as in what the term was used to refer to before it got appropriated as "r&b" to label hideous, mostly sampled rubbish from the late 90s onwards. again this is a damned good song, and i am hard pressed to recall when, exactly, i heard a bunch of musicians clearly having so much fun making a record. sure, Keith Richards has made it known he is "not really up" to doing an extensive tour again, but in no way has his guitar skills diminished. turns out that Ronnie Wood is a dapper bass player. 

most reassuring is that Mick Jagger (very much) sounds like Mick Jagger. this is not so with some recent things off other acts who have been around for a while. i mean, as good as the two (2) new U2 ep things have been (and proper CD copies, please), you do have to be told that's Bono. sadly i am finding it difficult to listen to the new Sir Paul McCartney one, he just sounds exhausted and like he is being propped up in a bed making a final confession. 

other than it seeming to have the worst album cover of all time (not sure why they have not just gone with this single artwork instead) i am really looking forward to the whole Foreign Tongues album. clearly they haven't gone back to the studio for the sake of it, for on the basis of these two (2) songs they would appear to have come up with some most excellent new vibes, man. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a decision was made

hi

something of a return of a once regular thing here. that "thing" was (or indeed is, look you see) the occasional instance of observing some discarded or otherwise abandoned footwear. shoes, mostly, if not quite exclusively. a potential point of interest (might) in this instance be the circumstances in which i was afforded time (and opportunity) to see them. 

for what reason has there been a lack of images of abandoned footwear being displayed here? it has been, as far as i can tell, north of two (2) years since i last saw such, or at least saw one of enough interest to share here. which is saying something. doubtful that people have lost their enthusiasm for ad hoc shoe disposal antics, and "unlikely" that councils have all of a sudden invested money in sending teams to go and gather them up. presumably, then, i just have not being paying attention. 

there you go. what looks like a pair of if not fully functional then perfectly serviceable "high heel" shoes, or whatever one calls them. ladies shoes, i would wager, or at the least ones fashioned, produced and intended for ladies, but in this unusual century i struggle to grasp there is every chance that it was a member of the gentry that was wearing them. 

where is it that i saw these shoes? i was at a train station, waiting (in some vain) for a scheduled train. on leaving my lodgings in my era of exile the service was running, but when i got to the station, somewhere south of 10 (ten) minutes later, it was reported as "delayed". the delay was attributed to what they call a "signal failure". what was interesting was that said failure (whatever it is) happened at a station which has just had the benefit of many millions of pounds of work done on it. apparently not on the signal bit. 

eventually, or ultimately, my train was not "cancelled" as such, just "changed" so that it was not going to stop at any actual stations. which of course means no cancellation, no chance at all of any sort of refund or anything close to customer service. thanks. one really does have to ask why trains are apparently owned and run by people who think that not having trains run is the ideal. 

clearer image of the shoes above, then, along with a discarded cigarette butt (despite a number of ashtrays close by) near it. if you are of a mind to look carefully you can see some "red" like marks on what remains of the cigarettes. this would suggest lipstick, which again suggests a lady, but once more in this era who really knows. 

an implication here is that the person (gender unknown) was wearing the shoes as they had a cigarette when, on being finished with it, elected to abandon their shoes for whatever reason. it is fairly widely known that i, too, smoke (sorry), yet at no point yet have i ever finished a cigarette and said "let me commemorate this moment by taking of my shoes and leaving them here". whilst retaining a right to have a change of heart on this, all the same i would say no, it is unlikely i would do such. 

 

doubtful anyone is still reading this, which is rather handy for there is nothing further of interest that i can add. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joe cole derby league 2025 - 2026

greetings

well, here we all are once more on the most exciting moment of a(ny) football season. that is, of course, the revealing of the prestigious joe cole derby league winners for the year. no, i am not going to repeat all of the reasons why joe cole is so important to modern society, look you see. instead i will present you here with this link to the results of last year's derby league, and if you are all that interested you can find links to the previous ones there. 

oh dear. by not rambling on about the seemingly incessant coverage given to the thoughts of joe cole by the present day media i have left myself short of things to write. but, if we are honest, you are probably hear for the results and the pictures. 

quite a decent season for joe cole derby league enthusiasts, really. unlike previous seasons it was so that matches officially deemed "joe cole derbies" - ones contested between clubs that he played for - were fairly even spread out across the season, instead of the usual concentration of them at a specific point. 

and what impressive results were delivered! loads and loads of goals, only one (1) draw, and no match finished goalless. here, have a gander. 

that so many games finished with 5+ goals perhaps explains the importance of the joe cole derby league. only the most elite of the prestigious clubs - those which he played for - can take part in it, and my do they with some enthusiasm. even, might i add, West Ham, for they clearly gave it all they could in all of their games, despite no return on that. 

during the course of the season it was with some interest that i saw a reference to joe cole in an article. it was on the subject of when fans "boo" their own side (or certain players), published on football365.com, which has been easily the best football website thing i have ever found. were football beyond joe cole be your thing it's well worth going and having a lot at it. 

courtesy football365

exactly how many trophies (or what have you) would England have won if joe cole had been on the field for all of the matches he played in? difficult to say, really. maybe more than it turned out we did, which of course comes to a roundabout total of none (0). 

right, then, the final league standings for the joe cole derby league 2025 - 2026. which (i appreciate) most of you have probably scrolled straight to, rather than wade through the above. 

congratulations to chelsea, then, for a superbly earned win! most goals scored, least ("fewest") let in, or if you like conceded, and claiming victory by a single point. i think it would have been, had liverpool won away at aston villa in the final derby league game of the season, chelsea would still have won it, but only on goal difference. 

yet again i find myself somewhat disappointed with aston villa. sure, second place and with a very decent set of results is admirable, but one does suspect (or fear) that his time at villa is often regarded as the "lost chapter of the joe cole story". huge, if not massive, fall off for liverpool, who(m) normally (or usually) win the league. would not be surprised if they sacked their manager and appointed one who(m) appreciates the importance of the joe cole derby league all the more. 

for west ham, and the fate of this league being documented here next year (if i make it that far), well, quite a sorry state of affairs. at the time of writing there is no confirmation that west ham will remain in the premier league, and losing their place in that will also take them out of the joe cole derby league. of course i shall wait and see what happens, but my instinct is that it would not feel right doing the league with one of the key teams out of it. 

may it be so that for some reason you found this interesting. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of swans and fighter jets

howdy doody

i was, as i am so prone to do during agreeable weather, by a river recently, undertaking some rather unorthodox lung exercises (sorry). this would indeed be a form of activity which my medical team, presently propping me up with all sorts of medication, have indeed encouraged me to cease or, at the very least, cut down considerably. strenuously encouraged, look you see.

whilst doing this i could not but help notice some swans mulling (or if you will swimming) about, doing very much swan things. from what i recall it has been a fair bit of time since i took up some internet real estate with images and videos of such (swans), so here we are. 

yes of course this is all presented in VHS mode, because why not. i really do feel it just makes everything look more better. should you disagree, well, that's fine, but perhaps (or maybe) this really is not the blog for you to be reading. 

quite sure that i have, over the last five or so years (ever since i have been relatively near swans in my era of exile), written all that i could write of swans. to recap, since we are all here now, no, i have no idea if it is true that the reigning monarch of England (or the UK) (or "England-land" if American) really does own all the swans. probably. rather likely they are territorial, and probably could absolutely knack your arm with them beaks and strong necks. 

some video does feel apt, then, what with me using VHS move. and why not. there is a little bit of video of the swans for you above, although i would speculate that this is something you worked out just a little bit before reading my confirmation of such. 

every chance exists that, if you played the video (with the sound on) you heard some unusual sounds which were most decidedly not of swan origin. that would be the second, or if you like final, part of the title, then. as it happens (or happened) there was the occasional fleet (no, hang on, squadron) of fighter jets bombing along. well, bombing as in going some speed, and not literally bombing. not that i saw or heard, at the least. you would think i might have noticed. 

no, not too sure i should be sharing a video (even in VHS mode) of these jets, for one never knows if some sort of Russian (or whatever) spy is trawling this for secrets and information. if so, well, there you go, at the risk of going full tilt The Falcon & The Snowman, yes, our royal air force has some fighter jets. so just behave, look you. 

are fighter jets quite a common thing for me to see? well, not so much i suppose, but then i am not really looking for them. during the day, usually, i am off doing verk stuff. one suspects a life where i had little commitment and thus loads of time to sit and look at the sky would be quite class, alas it is not the kind of life i am living momentarily. 

really not much else i can add here, as you have likely worked out. should seeing swans and (or) fighter jets in VHS mode be your thing, delighted to have provided this for you!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you know what you are

hello there

quite a few football related posts are coming up here over the next few weeks. well, at least three (3), look you see. one shall (of course) be the usual special "derby league" which celebrates an inexplicably popular player, and then for some reason i have purchased some lynx deodorant what appears to be a tie in or some form of promotional thing for the imminent (at time of writing) world cup. 

but first, well, this. a third trip to the Riverside Stadium to see Middlesbrough, although more frequently referred to as The Boro, play. this follows, link fans, a pre-season friendly, and then a most impressive match during the season, with the latter feeling like a (mostly upwards) turning point. unexpectedly, then, a third and final (for the season) match in the form of the play off semi final first leg against Southampton. 

this was not a match i was realistically expecting to get a ticket for. it was all quite short notice for the game, with it coming 7 (seven) days after it was confirmed we "qualified" for it. demand was high, and with my lowly number of attendances i was very much at the back of the queue. yet, by default or design, i did manage to get one. managed to get my ticket on the tuesday, which was just as well, for certain events (or developments) meant that the already high interest level in the match grew rather higher (or "reverse fewer"). of course more on that as we go. 

normally yes, i would give fair warning if a selfie was going to appear, but hey, deal with it. i am coming to accept that not everyone has no interest in seeing me, so there's one up front for the handful that actually do. 

it would be foolish to write of Middlesbrough vs Southampton without reference to "Spygate", or if you will (and the press do) "Spygate 2.0", for there was a similar issue between Leeds and Derby a few years ago. essentially Middlesbrough "caught" what is believed to be an employee of Southampton spying on our training session the thursday before the match. there are some clearly worded rules with exceptionally harsh penalties in place about this. 

lots and loads has been written elsewhere on it all, much of it (not unreasonably) speculative about potential punishments for Southampton. i will, for the most part, decline to add to that. just really don't understand why a team would risk the punishment for doing this in the peculiar century we are in. had this been the 80s or 90s, i mean, sure. but now? all 46 league games we had played this season would be available to Southampton. whatever they wished to learn would surely have been there. surely also you would just play your best team in any circumstances for such a prominent match? 

mostly i had hoped for a nice, sunny afternoon at the match. we are (ostensibly) in spring, after all, and the week before had been generally lovely weather. not so for match day, as you may be inclined to observe in the above. whereas the rain stayed away until some time after the match, it was all grey and quite windy. 

as i write this, by the way, the second leg (away at Southampton) is on the wireless. no, i do not pay a ludicrous fee for sports on the tele here, and i just cannot be bothered with pirating it, no matter how many dear friends offer to "sort me out". first half is under way, and as of now we have a lead of a single goal. 

going back to the match on saturday, then, and there was a call for fans to arrive early to welcome the team. sadly (alas) i could not make that, for i had a number of "usual saturday" things what i needed to get done. by all accounts it was spectacular, mind, and featured considerably less ("fewer") of throwing things at the visitors than has happened down in Southampton this evening. a universal truth of our nation is the further north you go the more friendly we are. 

celebratory welcomes continued in the ground, mind, as you can (kind of) see in the above video. i was in the north stand, and we were asked to hold up some cards to make a statement as the players came out (so to speak). of course i participated, but also tried to get a bit of video for here. because what else would i do. 

one fairly big part of any football match would be the chants fans come up with. indeed "spygate" came to the fore here. rather frequently you had somewhere north of 30,000 Boro fans in (most impressive) unison chanting "you know what you are, you know what you are, you're cheating b@$tards, that's what you are". granted, perhaps not the most poetical use of the english language ever, but still. 

applause for the other fans who came prepared to taunt Southampton on their spying exploits. particular praise for the young lad (featured in newspapers and what have you) that brought some leafy branches and a pair of binoculars. to be fair a number of the Southampton fans came with similar. gallows humour of a sort. i mean, it is all (very) serious, but you have to have a laugh in life. 

bit more of the pre-match build up in the video above for you. one of Middlesbrough's most famous and dearly loved musicians, Chris Rea, passed away late last year (2025). since then the club have elected to play some of his anthem to his home town, Steel River before kick off. 

review of the match? first half was brutal and unrelenting. often (frequently) football is referred to as being the beautiful game, and our performance was that. well, almost, for we did not score. it was however all one way traffic, Southampton either overwhelmed by just how worked up Boro were for it, simply outplayed or just relied on incorrect information off of their "spies". despite no goal this was easily some of the most enthralling, exciting football i have ever been fortunate enough to see. 

second half not so much. by comparison it was like watching a slowly deflating balloon on the off chance that it did something (vaguely) interestingly and hoping it didn't disappoint. no goals came, but it did feel like the impetus had left us. if we were going to win that match - just the first leg, and the second is currently 1-1 - one got the feeling that the goals had to come in that magical first half. 

whilst outside outside, as in outside of the no smoking area (sorry), i got to catch up with a dear friend, and yes there is a picture below. this was at half time. he said that he had a fear of the game going the way a number had this season, especially the one against Portsmouth. in that match we also loaded on the pressure, dominated and managed to lose to a late, late goal. we at the least avoided that this time around. but we have ended up in the play offs, rather than straight promotion via a few too many games that went that way. 

other things were indeed chanted during the match. although i was in what is (ostensibly) classified as the "family stand", with the more hardcore fans being over in the south stand, one would not guess it from some of the language. a chap not far off me, for instance, called out to one of the Southampton players by means of referencing his Bavarian origins and his (in his view) remarkable likeness to a female reproductive organ, in the most direct language possible. 

there was a slight further commotion in our stand when it (as far as i could ascertain) turned out that a few Southampton fans had somehow managed to get tickets for that area. bit of a no-no, that is, and they were ejected relatively harm free. one would suspect that those what helped them buy tickets are going to get a ban from the ground. 

yes. then, a second picture of me (moi) with my chum, then. always good to see him. actually caught up with another good friend at the match, but he doesn't really do the "selfie" thing. 

it has been "weird", or if you like peculiar, to get to as many games as i have this season. yet i am aware that, in the grand scheme of things, it has not been all that many. would i like to go to more? sure, but it's that double of time and money, alas. i have nothing but respect and admiration for fans of all teams that make the sacrifices to go to just about every match. 

for "real time" as in as i write this (poorly, yes), second leg has finished 1-1, so extra time. some stories are circulating about a proposed punishment (or penalty) for Southampton in regards of the charges made. if they are correct, well, it would make both the match i attended and the one going on somewhat academic if not irrelevant. 

last bit of video for you, then (above), at the end of the match. sure, some disappointment with the fact that it ended 0-0, but overall the comments and chat i heard wasn't all that negative, for our players went out and gave it a damned good goal. bit too much passing when we should have taken a shot at goal and taking shots when better options were there to pass to. 

nearly time to sign this off, but whilst i wait for the conclusion of this evenings match to add it in, the winner (by default or design) of this match shall face Hull in the play off final. reward for winning that one is promotion to the Premier League, and thus lots and lots of lovely money. 

right, oh dear. Southampton 2 Middlesbrough 1 after extra time, so that's Southampton vs Hull in the final, depending on various legal ramifications. perhaps, objectively, it is better to remain in a division where we are competitive rather than go up to one where we scrape and scrap for survival.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flutter

ow do

whereas i have no idea as to the how, when or why of such it is a commonly accepted thing that the horse race known as the grand national became the biggest betting day in the UK. it is an occasion when all who(m) would not usually bet, and this includes me, look you see, shall place a wager on a horse (and requisite jockey) surviving what is considered a tough, demanding and dangerous course, and of course doing so faster than the others. 

as it turns out, by chance more than any notion (or belief) of skill, i went and backed a winner, didn't i just. yes, true, i put the odds slightly in my favour by placing a wager on three (3) different horses, but still, the returns (as in coins of money won) came to an amount which exceeded the net total of what i had bet. 

quite the pocket weighing down hefty return i got there for my brave and bold decision to place twenty five large on the horse what won it, I Am Maximus. so long as you (as i choose to) define "large" as being pence. my thinking was "well, that one is the favourite and i think it won last year, so go on then let me include it". 

the other horses i bet on? one was called Commander Cody, which i think is the name of a character out of that Star Wars thing, specifically the Clone Wars which my (known) children love. for the other it was Firefox, and yes purely because of the boss Clint Eastwood film called Firefox. my winnings would have been considerably (if not formidably) higher had either of those two won, but alas no, they didn't. 

despite having no particular interest in horse racing (or gambling in general) i confess to being quite fascinated by it all. it is, in all likelihood, the single most ruinous vice that remains accepted as being quite normal by the standards of society. my suspicion is the tales of addiction and financial woe, with consequences of the latter being a myriad of darkness, would fuel nightmares. yet gambling dominates advertising these days, with various bookies (or similar) being prime sponsors of sports. not quite the same moral compass used to judge smoking, for instance. 

i do (that said) sometimes wish i could live the life of cunning, guile and bravado what my good friend Eddie Baby does. he will walk into a bookies, right, select a horse and then say something really cool sounding like "fifty grand, on the f*****g nose", and know what all that means. that just sounds a good deal more exciting than my own existence. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

volumatic bongpuller

heya

just another vague update on my plight with medical exploits, look you see. so, if you aren't particularly interested in such, or are (understandably) disappointed that such has not quite finished me off yet, well, likely best you move one. 

so yes, still going. yay me. it has been, more or less (give or take), one calendar year since it all kicked off, as it were. as for what "kicked off", well, here is the start of it all, and you are welcome to search the blog for further updates if your interest is sufficiently piqued. 

even if one is not inclined to care for my usual proclivity for a sense of the theatrical it is not overly dramatic to say that the year which has just concluded after the incident is a year i, at the time, really did not think i would be getting. not sure i have done all that much of importance (or interest) with this "bonus time", except kept on living. perhaps that is enough. 

to ensure that i have remained a going concern, and yes (mostly) the primary reason for such is that it would be a massive inconvenience for some if i was not i have done (and complied with) almost all of the stuff what my incumbent medical team have said i needed to do. as in yes, no, i have not quite managed to reduce or quit smoking as such as yet (sorry). mostly i have little idea what i would do to replace it, but also i do rather enjoy it. 

recently, as in my appointment just prior to the one i shall document here, i was given a prescription for a device. no, there was no comment or instruction with this, at least not beyond a reminder to bring it with me to the next appointment. oh. so, with little other (practical) option, i picked up the prescription, noted (or observed) it was quite big, and just left it in the bag it came in until the appointment where i had to remember to take it. 

it turned out what i was going to be doing was a "breathing test". no particular clarification was given as to why, exactly, i needed this. perhaps it is for (somewhat) obvious reasons, pertaining to the consequences one can (reasonably) expect from smoking. the air of mystery emanating from my medical team is far from a new phenomenon. it wasn't all that long ago, after all, that i got some development news in the form of a brief call - "nothing to worry about, we just think your heart might fail, we have sent a new prescription through, please start taking the tablets immediately". 

once upon a time i did, famously, have someone who(m) i considered my personal physician. he tended to give any prognosis news with a degree (or two) more sensitivity. also, and this was truly tremendous, he soon learned not to discuss health matters which might relate to smoking, for he soon discovered that it wasn't all that great to be hit quite hard. anyway, if for some reason you wish to explore more of the days of my personal physician, at random click here, here and indeed here. that last one is particular interesting as it also features my personal photographer. 

yes, i remembered to take the prescribed device, and certainly i attended my appointment on time. with not too much of a wait for it to start, or commence. for those wanting to know the results without having to plough through whatever i write here, surprisingly my breathing, as in my lungs, are "not bad". no, i am not hiding something there. well, yes, my breathing and lungs would be classed as excellent if i happened to be nineteen (19) years older than i actually am. but, with where i am, there's no blockages, although i was not expecting them, and my breathing is functional. which i take as serviceable rather than being optimal. 

pills, then, for a slight detour, lots and lots of pills. i remain somewhat ambivalent (or indifferent) to taking them in the sense that it does not cause me any distress. there are some, perhaps many, who(m) loathe and detest the idea of taking medication, either in the short term or, as would seem to be the case with me, until the end. i can only take it as they feel it carries a sense of failing, or weakness, or maybe there is just the fear of dependency. this is something i can respect, and don't really think i am in any sort of position to suggest a way to change perception. 

be warned, for yes, a selfie is coming up in the next picture. during these breathing test things, which i may well actually write about just now, i was required to take a break. some ten to fifteen minutes or so, during which i returned to the waiting room. yes, i did indeed (and of course) ask if it was all right if i just nipped out for a cigarette during the break and the (quite) short version of the answer was no, it was not, so i passed some of the boredom with this selfie. 

 

so, anyway, the tests. a lot of breathing in and out, to be honest, and into multiple devices. well, two (2) for those that like specifics; one that was provided there and the one i needed to bring with me. first round, as it were, was all with the one they had set up. i needed to take a massive deep breath in, and then breathe it out as hard as i could into the device. quite exhausting and draining, to be honest, or at least (considerably) more so than i had anticipated. 

at first my main issue with doing these tests was taking them seriously, or trying not to have a fit of giggles. yes, this is very much down to my mind (or thoughts) considering what an excellent bong each of them would make. hence the title of this post. whereas i would suggest, or speculate, that i am now beyond an age where making use of a bong would be appropriate i am delighted that my mind is not yet all that old that such ideas still roam freely. 

once the tests were all done, and the doctor had a resigned look of deflation that they had not provided any solid evidence that i must quit smoking right now, i asked what, exactly, i was to do with the one bong like breathing test that i was prescribed. also the pump thing that came with it, which to my eyes looks rather like one of them asthma inhaler things. the answer was that i should keep it, and "make use of it" if i felt i needed to. no clarity was given on how, when or why i would know (or feel) that tis was the case. so i guess it is sitting in its box in the cupboard. unless, of course any of my (admittedly limited) social circle have a compelling need for a new bong. 

further medical updates are (alas) likely over the next few weeks, or month or so. coming up next are yet more blood tests. probably "spend a penny" wee wees ones too, since a consequence of the medication i am on is to tamper with what my kidneys are supposed to do. also that thing where they blind me with light to check my eyes are not f****d, and also ram a pointed stick into my feet so to ask me what i feel about it. so yes, sometimes it is interesting to be me. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

steve cradock

howdy pop pickers

yes, indeed, an unusual case (or instance, look you see) of me using a title which directly relates to the subject. does feel a bit peculiar. whereas i don't think i have any particular sway or influence over much of anything, still, i thought it might be prudent (if not wise) to give this a title to help with "the google" thing, for it would be excellent if others found out about the chance to go to what was an extraordinary, phenomenal gig. 

for all that has gone so quite spectacularly wrong in my life, and much of that is of my own making, i must have got the odd bit right. if only here and there. that can be the only explanation as to why, on a reasonably frequent basis, i have been able to go and see something to do with Ocean Colour Scene more than i would have taken as a given as possible. up until now this has meant seeing Simon and Oscar out on an acoustic tour a couple of times, and of course the full tilt band. delighted to be able to add seeing Steve Cradock to this list of OCS related shows. 

some (many) of you will be wishing or willing me to get to the point. if you are so, then i am delighted to say that this Steve Cradock gig was easily one of the most amazing, mesmerising, enjoyable and engaging nights out i have ever had, probably on a par with that time i had the privilege of witnessing Nick Cave share his genius. two very different gigs, of course, but the "vibe" is comparable. as you have no doubt worked out from the above, indeed there will be the usual (yet unusually not that bad) poor pictures and a few videos. be warned, for an image of moi with him comes in at the end. 

ostensibly this tour, which appears to have no fixed end date, is a kind of book launch. Steve Cradock has a fine book out called Travellers Tune, which is (as i have never been shy of saying) the name of my absolute favourite song by the band. during the performance he does mention that book launches normally feature someone just sitting on a couch and chatting, but he didn't think that was the way to go. 

by "no fixed end date" i mean that i saw, with great interest, the tour carries on into next year, which as things stand is (indeed) 2027. delighted to see one of the dates is not all that far from my lodgings in my era of exile, and i shall certainly be making every effort to go once more. i am going to assume (or take as a given) that Steve Cradock will not mind me too much pirating the poster off of his official website for the dates so anyone keen can work out where and when to be.

as to what songs one can expect at the gig, well, not particularly the "obvious" hits. whilst chatting to some fellow fans after the gig (see, i can be social) i mentioned the set was predominantly buried treasure, and they really liked that description. so of course i have used it again here. kind of sticking with that metaphor, or what have you, this buried treasure features some really shiny, precious gems, be it from his solo albums or work with musicians like PP Arnold and Paul Weller. 

the draw for most will, understandably, be Ocean Colour Scene songs. fairly obvious, as that's how Steve Cradock became known and they remain a deeply loved band. in terms of "hits" you get, of course, Travellers Tune and The Riverboat Song. so no, no Day We Caught The Train, and understandably 100 Mile High City isn't one any of them try as an acoustic song. but you also get some songs truly endeared to the fans, in particular Huckleberry Grove and arguably one of their most dearly loved songs, The Circle. mostly, in his own words, this tour (or the set) is a chance to play some songs that otherwise he wouldn't get the chance to play to an audience. sure, there's a part of that which you could describe as "artist indulgence", but is such not true of any performance? i would suggest it is more a means of people getting to hear admired songs live and in person. 

perhaps one of the biggest reasons this evening was so special was the make up of the band. which just happens to be the Cradock family. my word, his son is a truly gifted multi-instrument musician, and the vocals added by Mrs Cradock (not that, i believe, she uses the name) were spellbinding. also the family dog, who(m) pottered about the stage. there's a very clear, palpable bond, a great sense of love and affection right across this beautiful family. don't believe i have ever felt so tacitly invited to feel quite as immersed in an experience at a gig as i was by the energy emanating from them. 

exactly why does the music of Ocean Colour Scene, and by extension Steve Cradock, mean all that much to me? quite the risk of going full tilt hippy here. the first phrase that comes to mind probably isn't right, yet it feels it - high tides and green grass, to borrow the name of a Stones compilation (or at least i think). many of their songs naturally invite one to daydream of an idyllic, wonderful life, many allow one time for some introspection, to pause and ponder. some, of course (100 Mile High City) serve simply as reminders as to just how awesome rock and roll is. 

video for you, then, above and below. i was too engaged, full on immersed in enjoying some rather fine artists share their craft, to worry all that much about videos. so, for Travellers Tune, i just sat with the camera held low(ish) down, ignoring it and hoping it captured the excellence of the song. 

why, of all of the songs available, do i champion Travellers Tune as the "greatest", or the one that means the most to me? hard to quantify something that touches you so deeply. for the sake of something to write here, giving it a go would be to say musically it gives a sense of freedom, of being in the moment, of very much getting your groove on. lyrically i have always been drawn to a phrase or expression that inexplicably captures my imagination. i just love lines like "like two Christophers in the snow" and "we'll sail through the suns and moons" without being able to nail down why, exactly. 

last picture coming up just now, and yes i (moi) am visible in it. for some reason there are some of you who(m) read this blog yet care not to see me, so for you this is your "last chance" warning to avoid seeing all that you do not want to see. 

going to be quite difficult to word this without sounding (somewhat) disrespectful, but shall give it a whirl. i assured friends that i was not going to do the inevitable "selfie" with Steve Cradock. my reason for this was that whereas he is pretty well known as a name (and great musician) he isn't "in your face" with being immediately recognisable. he can, for example, go to the shops in a way that you would argue a Noel Gallagher cannot. so i figured if i got a selfie with him, showing it to people would be less looking at the picture, more saying who he is, what band he was in and then (badly) singing The Day We Caught The Train to jog memories. yet here we are. 

he is indeed holding a (marker) pen and a copy of his book, which he kindly signed for me. some friends, to be fair, have said i am looking really well, which is lovely to hear after all of my well documented medial exploits of the last year or so. 

just about every band you tell was part of it generally angry deny it was anything to do with them, but, you know what, for those what lived through it and loved it, Britpop was very much a thing. not all bands were explicitly so, but to place Ocean Colour Scene in some context. if we say Suede brought the sex and hedonism, Pulp (and to an extent The Verve) brough suburban realism, Oasis the swagger, attitude and in your face, you can't ignore this anthems, Blur (for want of a better word) brought a degree of artistic touch and the Manics gave it intellectualism, then it's Ocean Colour Scene what provided the whole movement (or moment) with its spirit and soul. apologies to the great bands missed out, and "toughies" to any of the bands that get all @r$ey about the reference. 

right, not much more for me to add other than to (yet) again say thank you, this was a most incredible night, a wonderful life experience which shall be treasured for as long as i have left. on, then, to whatever the next gig shall be, but i have a feeling this will be the "best" of the year. 

should for some reason you wish to read my (poorly written) ramblings on all other Ocean Colour Scene related nights out, here you go. links to the first and indeed second Oscar and Simon shows i gone done seen, and then of course the full tilt band. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

live long and prosper

greetings

and so, if you are inclined to read the date the American (as in entirely incorrect, look you see) way, once more we have hit Star Wars day on the calendar. for those unaware of the reason, or generally do not care but are here now, it is so that "May 4th be with you" sounds a bit like "may the force be with you", a popular line of dialogue from the series of films which makes heroes out of fanatical religious zealots, fake orphans, people what wear buckets on their head, criminal smugglers and barley coherent space frogs. quite good films, as it happens. 

usually i would take this day as a time to reflect upon the magnificence of Lobot, who was by some distance one of the top three (3) characters to appear in any of the films, television shows or excessive merchandise. having done that last year (here) i figured it was time for something different. 

last year (2025) - July, for those with a sense for specifics - there was a "super hero fun day" thing up near my lodgings in my place of exile. as this was all going on near (indeed, around) the market i would usually frequent on a weekend, i went along. i suppose it was a bit like one of them "comic con" things, only it did not feature a largely forgotten actor or actress who(m) had an obscure part in a film or television show and was now able to charge £50 or so to pose for a picture. much of the stuff was, as you have likely worked out, of Star Wars. 

just worked out that yes, indeed, i "missed a trick" in the picture above. i for some reason did a bit of a nancy boy, effete sort of "hello" wave there. so, so close to doing that "vulcan" greeting thing what Spock does in Star Trek. oh well, if it is on again this year (and i make it that far) i shall try for another picture and see if i can remember to do it. likely people shall take it as "trolling", but really just a bit of fun. we are still allowed to have such. 

much of Star Wars, on paper (at least), really shouldn't work. it is absolute genius that the bloke what came up with it all managed to get someone to finance his vision of a shiny gold (latently gay) robot and also to give him (as a sidekick) what is effectively a bin with some rudimentary legs stuck on, with them subsequently attached to roller skates. 

oh yes, make no mistake, i would (surely) love to have a full tilt R2-D2 like this one. beyond the likely high expense of such a magnificent thing it's unlikely to be a practical addition to my modest lodgings. still, was really quite class to see one twatting about. 

for the picture above (and indeed the X Wing missed opportunity one) i did indeed pay some money. such is how things are kept viable as a going concern. actually, no, for the one above, with me holding a light sabre thing (and showing off my dapper NZ shirt), it was a donation. very happy to give a link here to the North East Legion (this is the link), who(m) happily attend these events in their amazing outfits in order to raise funds for charity. 

soon, i think, the latest Star Wars film, The Mandalorian & Grogu, gets released. rather likely that i will be making the effort to go see it at the cinema, since the tv show was ace. odd, i suppose, that they didn't opt to release it on what has been embraced (if not adopted) as Star Wars day, but i think the release date is to do with some American day of celebration for something or other. 

the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in search of spearmint and lemon

hello there

just one of them likely mundane (as in dull, look you see) sort of posts for anyone all that really desperate for something to gander at. well, at the least, so far as i am aware (unless the powers that be sneak them in and i get no coins), this blog is ad free, so there should be no annoying pop ups or what have you to distract from the general boredom here. 

indeed i have been shopping for toiletries, haven't i just. you will have no doubt worked this out, or in some way ascertained it, from the title. my requirements, dans le shop, were for some new shampoo and toothpaste. not quite accurate that, for i now need shampoo and conditioner. 

my ambition, of course, was to find items of each which leaned towards being more modestly priced rather than being what i wanted. well, this was at first, at the least. i have come to accept that going cheap with certain things is, to be blunt, f*****g stupid. sure, the lesser ("fewer") priced items for hygiene do the job, yet often it is higher priced ones do things more better, so to speak. 

so i set off to purchase, or procure (buy, even), the types of each item i actually wanted. which, in the case of toothpaste, would be spearmint "flavoured", or what the right word is. and, of course, or shampoo (and conditioner), lemon "infused", like what Jason Donovan decreed as being class. risking giving some spoilers here, but alas, no, found neither. 

over the last few years, when the need has compelled me to seek so, i have said to myself (for who else would i tell) "you know what, i actually fancy some spearmint toothpaste", only never to find it. in this most recent shopping excursion (to call it an adventure is going too far) i once again came up blank. instead, then, i opted for something called "refreshing green". no, i don't for one moment believe this to be some sort of "rebranded" spearmint toothpaste, but all the same a change. quite odd for me to get a single colour toothpaste as, like most (i would imagine), i do have a fascination with them kinds what are all different coloured stripes. 

exactly why has spearmint flavoured toothpaste disappeared from our world? it seems, mostly, a mix of a lack of demand and "branding decisions". initially i suspected it might have been some sort of "EU" thing, with a village in Hungary (or whatever) objecting to the term "spearmint" and the French agreeing to outlaw it for the sake of a quiet life and hey, it's an easy score. no, it really does seem as simple as in order to appear "progressive" the toothpaste industry as a whole opted to rebrand flavours. 

regular readers shall, of course, be aware that toothpaste has been a peculiarly frequent topic here. alas nothing of late has matched the "great" (or classical) era of bringing news about toothpaste. by that i mean of course when i was a pivotal player in the murky (but not sleazy) world of the international smuggling of toothpaste what have love beads shoved in it. should for some reason you wish to read more of that, clicking here is a good starting point, and then follow the links in that post. 

whereas spearmint toothpaste has vanished from our world (at least more or less) it is not quite so that the same is true of shampoo what has lemon shoved in it. it is, however, rather tricky to get hold of. kind of, at the least. i did find a 5l (five litre) bucket of the stuff for sale online for just south of £20, but that felt somewhat excessive. down the shops i found some shampoo (and conditioner) what had lime shove in it. so, with a (vague) sense of adventure i presumed "citrus is as citrus does" and decided to give it a go. yeah, that's the way i roll, baby. 

in respect of any "why lemon in shampoo" questions, no, for a change i am not going to go off on one about how, quite some time ago, Jason Donovan casually mentioned this. let me rather suggest you go and use google and search for "Jason Donovan lemon shampoo", or the other way around. when i did i took no small level of satisfaction in seeing roughly one half of the first page of results were for when i have written on the subject here. for some reason, then, "the internet" considers me quite the authority on this subject. nice one. 

using conditioner is something that i didn't think would be something one would ever speak of, but here we are. after my medical exploits (this link will take you to other links about it all) i made a quasi conscious decision to "grow my hair long", purely from my dreams of rock and roll. and to my surprise this lime infused shampoo (and conditioner) is really good. no, not lemon good, but still, i do like how it makes my hair feel. should i see lemon shampoo available i will (of course) get it, but for now this lime one seems to be doing what i ask of it. 

that's that for now, then. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!