indeed this is to be (arguably yet) another post on cigarettes, look you see. to be fair it has been a while since i have done one. all the same, as usual, of course smoking cigarettes is in all likelihood not at all good for you (probably quite bad) and you should either not take up the habit (or addiction) or, if that bit of sterling advice is too late, seek help to quit.
mostly (or for the most part) this will (shall) me just enjoying the rare treat of my most beloved, or if you will preferred, cigarette, Marlboro Red. a duty free carton of these was kindly purchased for moi by my eldest (known) son on holiday. he perhaps should not have, for i am quite aware that both of my (known) children would very much prefer it if i did not smoke, but still. however, also here will be a look at the stupid corner certain governments have backed themselves into with insane taxes on cigarettes.
a highly biased and considerably subjective thing for me to say would be that Marlboro Red are the finest cigarettes in the world. perhaps they are, certainly in their classic form they had the strongest branding of any product ever. for a start them tw@ts at Apple can only wish their branding was so identifiable. just my personal preference, they are, to be sure, like others have a preference for a specific type of tea, coffee, whisky, beer, etc. since the (ahem) independent retailers of "imported" cigarettes don't get them in and also that i will be f****d if i am paying the exorbitant price commanded for them at more conventional shops, well, they are a rare treat indeed for me. can't be sure with precision on this one but these may well be the first ones i have since i crammed my Bowie bag full of them in Dubai on my return from New Zealand.
what's the fascination, appreciation, wish or appeal of (or for or with) them? famously us smokers tend to lose all sense of taste and smell over the years, but it doesn't disappear entire. they do indeed have quite a distinct taste, indeed kick if you will to them. with apologies to all non and anti smokers, whose views are not entirely unreasonable, to have one of these is sheer bliss. two hundred even better.
kind of the "best of both worlds" with the packaging on these, then, for it features the apparently all important warning images and text whist retaining the iconic branding. of the warning pictures the one to the right, which is clearly a child doctored to look like much admired leader Putin, remains a strong favourite. the one in the middle, promising that the cigarettes shall cause an amazing sexual explosion, is also quite class, and for some reason the one to the left of that looks like artwork for an album off of The Doors or similar. well, no, there isn't anyone similar.
cost of these, duty free? just south of £50. i believe the exact was £47, but i sent my son over £50 and i am sure he bought himself a can of pop and a copy of the Beano or similar with the change. this is of course (far) cheaper than the price of these on the shelf in the UK (roughly 25% - 30% of the price) and even slightly less ("fewer") than what the independent shops charge here. which leads us nicely into a bit on the problems faced with governments who got very greedy and extremely stupid with tax on cigarettes. some of the following might seem like a rant, but hopefully someone somewhere can see my point.
just two things, in the above, i have noticed "online" about cigarettes. the top bit is from Australia, where they are now actively looking to decrease the cost of "legal" cigarettes. as a more progressive country they have acknowledged higher taxes has "served only to give the biggest cash boost to criminals in history". bottom is the UK, where the government (of course) refuses to accept they made a similar mistake with the taxes and instead wants to scare everyone into buying overtaxed "legal" ones.
quite a lot of this relates to the facts, figures, numbers and calculations in this post, where i took apart the current taxation of cigarettes (in the UK) compared to what they should be if just standard inflation and standard increases of the "sin tax" had been applied. present day numbers are likely to be higher, but allowing for all of them adjusting they should still (more or less) reflect the scenario. much of this relates to their £1.7 billion "stolen" from taxpayers number.
let us say, and i am (quite) aware that i should not, on average i smoke 2 (two) packets of cigarettes a day. these are presently all procured from (ahem) "independent" distributors. so, with the figures from the link above (and here again), this is where they and i am are at -
TOTAL TAX RECIEVED BY GOVERNMENT OFF MY ACTUAL CIGARETTES - £0 (zero)
TOTAL TAX IF THEY HAD STUCK TO THE ORIGINAL SIN TAX - £1,569.50
TOTAL TAX IF I HAPPILY PAID THE CURRENT EXTRA TAXES - £7,285.40
yeah, no. the "original" or existing "sin" taxes on cigarettes would price them negligibly higher than what the independent sellers charge, and like many others i probably would not have sought out such. let it be made clear that i appreciate (understand, even) that some will see this as me "robbing" our much loved government of just north of seven grand in tax. a better question is why, exactly, they weren't happy just taking north of fifteen hundred from me.
slight break (for more are to come) from numbers, then, for a "poster size" VHS mode selfie of me very much enjoying one of the Marlboro Red. yes in my outrageous round sunglasses.
more numbers? sure. this whole £1.7 billion "stolen", then. i think they just like to come up with an arbitrary figure which sounds as plausible as it does scary. for that number to be correct, and assuming by this they mean the tax "stolen" is at the level in my previous post (links above), they believe that around about 170,340,681 "illegal" packets of cigarettes are sold in the UK each year. yes that is indeed just north of one hundred and seventy million packets. much of this shall be courtesy of our famously celebrated "after you" approach to border control. once again using those numbers, it isn't really a case of £1.7 billion being "stolen", rather the government tossing away £366,232,464 in tax revenue had they just kept the inflationary "sin tax" levels at a constant.
oh, sure, but there's the "aah, but illegal cigarettes are funding terrorism and criminals" argument. from what i remember pirate videos (and then DVDs) were also doing this, and probably lots of other things. sometimes they don't need to sell more than an "idea", especially when you consider the astronomical amounts the Americans "donated" to the IRA on the basis of a somewhat recollections may differ interpretation of the history of Ireland and how blowing up some churchgoers would make it all better. up to now no (alas) the government has not explained how stopping purchasing illegal cigarettes will somehow end all terrorism and/or criminal activity. i am sure they shall, eventually. besides, if they are all that bothered about smokers "funding" anyone but them, well, bring the price of cigarettes back down to a sensible level, like our friends in Australia are actively seeking to do.
well, that quickly became more an awful lot of numbers and something of a rant that wasn't entirely intended, but there we go. unfortunately common sense got jettisoned from the world with things like this, but fair dinkum to the Aussies for trying to fix a mess made. oh if only we had such leadership.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









































