recent reading

hello reader

and so time for a look at another two (2) books what i have gone done read, look you see. considering that my reading has been somewhat slower of late it feels like this post is relatively soon after the last on a similar (as in exact but different books) subject. perhaps a sign that i was quite particularly engaged with the ones read this time out, but that is not to say they were flawless experiences. 

to the usual, then, which is to say an image of the 2 (two) books what i gone done read, followed by a brief, if you like executive summary style overview, and then every chance of them "spoilers" things exists in whatever ramblings i compose. been warned, you have, to be sure.

from left to right (i think) and in the order what i gone done read them, then, The Children Of Eve is the most recent (in paperback) Charlie Parker novel off of John Connolly. i did set myself a sort of reminder to look for this one, and remembered to eventually. bit of a kind of "hmn" review for this one, alas. next it was on to the most recent in paperback, at time of writing (June 2026), of the Thursday Murder Club novels by The Tall One Formerly Of Pointless But Still Does Pointless Celebrities And Now Also Former Host Of Richard Osman's House Of Games But I Guess They Will Call It Something Else Now And He Was A Backing Dancer For Sonia, or whatever his name is. a significant (as in large) locked in market exists for these novels, making any review mostly moot. but yes, i enjoyed it. nearly forgot to give the title of it, which is The Impossible Fortune. 

no idea, exactly, how many warnings (if any you need) about "spoilers", but this is your last of such. read on only if you are prepared to risk potentially slightly revealing things of stuff. 

provenance of my copy of The Children Of Eve is possibly more interesting a tale than usual, as in it was not "book of the week" down at Tesco. as point of fact the last one was not either, but Tesco at least still stocked it. not, alas, this one. was also absent from the shelves at Morrisons, but their book section is kind of a token gesture anyway. on little more than a quite vague whim i took a lengthy (but agreeable) walk to a large Asda and was delighted to find they did indeed have it. cost was north of Tesco's £4.50 (although they charged a flat £6 for the previous) yet marginally south of Morrisons's default £6. it was getting bought anyway. 

the plot? hmn. Charlie Parker is mostly contentedly in a relationship with a police officer, doing low level investigation work for a lawyer. the ghost, or spirit, of his long dead daughter has all of a sudden started making her presence felt once more. an artist which Parker is sympathetic to (if not one he actually likes) approaches him, requesting his services in locating her boyfriend, who upped and left in a rush. which takes him on a voyage into close to the usual sort of darkness in which he dwells, with his interest changed from piqued to dedicated when it turns out the disappearance is linked to the apparent kidnapping of children.....

up front, be warned, this is essentially the most Raiders Of The Lost Ark novel to feature Charlie Parker yet. what, exactly, does that mean? that the involvement, presence and actions of the (ostensible) protagonist make absolutely zero difference to how the story pans out. no influence or change. the only things Parker does here are ask a few questions that don't lead him anywhere he was not and then also gets his head kicked in. 

quite disappointing when you realise that, which would be around the magical "100 pages to go" part of the novel. reading a Charlie Parker novel is usually to delve into the idea of it's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight, but his lack of actually doing anything of consequence in this one has one, or if you like me, going "so". 

just a picture of the novel (and others) on the shelf in Asda, then. no, no particular reason for adding the picture here, i just for some reason took it and thought well, why not add it. 

still, or and yet, the novel was  hugely enjoyable read. it has been somewhere around a quarter of a century (!!) that i have been reading the world created by John Connolly, and still it remains interesting to read anything the usual characters are "doing". the novel hints at something to come "soon", but doesn't do all that much in establishing a potential new long term quarry. my hope is that this novel has been John Connolly doing one if not "for the sake of it" as such then as a sort of "you love the stories, i love the stories, just roll with it". 

rather more familiar provenance for The Impossible Fortune, then, with yes it being £4.50 off of Tesco as their "book of the week" thing for club card prices. purchased (or bought) on the thursday it came out. no, so far as i am aware they did not specifically or especially publish this on a thursday, that just happens to be the day when new books are on the shelf down Tesco. 

plot? a relative of the Thursday Murder Club is getting married. Elizabeth, still grieving, is approached in private by the best man. he has been led to believe she is good with "this sort of thing" and so asks her if she might consider looking into the small matter of a bomb placed under his car.........

there was some hesitation in reading this one as a (very) good friend had found it a bit "hmn". also, in truth, for the last couple of novels it felt like the "good" bits were getting to be a bit sporadic. but yes still of course i found myself reading it not long after purchase. what can i say? this unexpected "cosy crime" genre which the author appears to have accidentally created is very comfortable reading indeed. although i could "see" the parts where my friend went "hmn", to be fair mostly it was rather good, with just one twist (for those who have read it, the first code reveal) not appearing to make all that much sense. not how (that was really clever), the why. 

overall this was a pretty decent read, to be honest. the twists and turns (red herrings and what have you) were, for the most part, quite clever. as for my "100 pages to go" test, well, when it got to that stage of reading i was "hang on this doesn't feel anywhere near a conclusion", but it didn't end up as all rushed and contrived as i may have feared. again, though, i am mindful of a "locked in" audience for these novels. with sales of this book likely to be measured in 7 or even maybe 8 digit figures, doesn't feel like i can say much other than yes, it's "in the tradition" of the other novels and worthwhile. 

presently my "gauge" as to how good a book is (or is not) would be how much i read it other than a couple of chapters each morning as i wait for cream on my feet to dry. no, not a fetish thing, just something i need to do for "circulation" or what have you in the face of my medical plight. both of these got read a good deal more than at those times, with Impossible Fortune being taken with me on my most recent laundry visit. so yes, both kept my attention and had me wishing to keep reading, which is, i would think, what one would wish for any novel read. 

alas the above is (most decidedly) not the case with the one i am reading now. risking "spoilers" for the next book post and i am, some 40 (or so) pages into it, very confident indeed that i have stumbled upon the most singularly awful novel for which trees have been needlessly slain to produce. perhaps it shall get better, but i very much doubt it. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at the laundry again

heya

further efforts in bringing the banal, the mundane and the ordinary to you are here, then. perhaps just a routine thing, look you see. i do wonder who has the greater edge of folly me for writing it or you for knowingly being here reading it (or looking at the pictures). most of the "economies" of using a laundry service can be found via clicking here. well, my take on such. 

a (relatively) recent post showcased my class (if not splendid) koala bedding. not in an overt way, to be sure, but still it was there. with this being the case it was, once more, off with me to the laundry to go and get the bedding (linen, if you will) that was being used washed and dried, then folded away for use once more. assuming, of course, i make it as far as another bedding change. 

bit of a reverse (or false forward) with images, as the one above (in psychedelic mode) is of the massive, yet not enormous, tumble dryer in full effect. i just happen to think that this is a nice, quite colourful image, and the first picture on any post gets used as the "preview" or what have you. the end is the beginning is the end, if you like. 

going on what i have learned of the "politics" (or social etiquette, or dealing with pig ignorant people) of the laundry i, of course, elected to "go" early. one saturday morning, as it happens. there was an ever so slight intention to go the last public holiday we had, but i went and saw Buckethead & Baby Space Frog at the cinema instead. moving on and i got (arrived) there just a few minutes before their prescribed (or advertised) opening time. imagine my surprise, then, to find two (2) other patrons already in, somewhere near mid-wash on their respective cycles. 

it turns out (yes that is the washing machine i used, in VHS mode) that the laundry opens one half of one hour (or 30 minutes) earlier on a saturday. oh. this i ascertained from the conversation what the two ladies (a mother and daughter) were having. perhaps i shall going earlier next time, then, although such would run the risk of them electing not to open earlier and leave me standing around waiting. not certain that loitering around looking desperate for a laundry to open is what i wish to project. 

did i engage in any sort of conversation (or interaction) with the mother and daughter? there was a cursory exchange of greetings followed by, under the laws of guidance of the English way of doing things, brief mentions of the weather (hot) and the torment of being up doing laundry so early. otherwise, no. yes, i do appreciate, for a generation influenced if not scarred by the Nick Kamen incident, that a gent encountering a mother and daughter at a laundry could be the premise of the plot for a particularly bad Robin Asquith film, except that by default suggests there is such a thing as a particularly good plot for a Robin Asquith film. or how you spell his name, you know who i mean. 

mostly, or for the most part, whilst waiting for the machines i just read more of the book what i am busy with. that would be the most recent (quite a lot of most) one, at the time of writing, to come out in paperback from The Tall One Formerly Out Of Pointless Although He Still Does Pointless Celebrities And Now Also Formerly Out Of Richard Osman's House Of Games Although I Guess They Will Call It Something Else Now And Also He Was A Backing Dancer For Sonia. not a bad read so far, but the usual post on that shall follow eventually. 

some of the "politics" of the laundry was absolutely going to kick off, by the way. just as my laundry, which to clarify was the bedding but also a couple of towels, was doing its thing in the tumble dryer a particularly unpleasant and obnoxious chap came in with about twelve (say a dozen) bin bags loaded with clothes. he looked quite cross that others were already there, using the (and this i stress open to the public) facility, clearly believing the place was "his". unfortunately suck d!ckhe@ds with a sense of entitlement roam the entire planet, with an abundance of them in Scotland with internet access, but the English ones do seem to be louder than usual, and have a more distinguished huff sound. 

regarding costs, it was a neat (flat) straight £9, with £5.50 for the washing machine and £3.50 for the tumble dryer. which means the costs have not increased over the last 18 (or so) months. such a thing in our present world is to be treasured. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

koala paperclip

g'day

indeed this shall be one of them "does what it says on the box" (or in the title, look you see) posts. for any sense of urgent clarification it is so that i have procured (or if you will acquired) a koala related paperclip. no, i had no particular need for a paperclip, with it also being true that i might not have required all that much further in the way of koala related items. yet such is done. 

so yes, then, i have bought (purchased) a paperclip that (what) has a koala on it. quite a large paperclip too, as it happens. not necessarily or particularly "massive", for i have seen "novelty" ones of a much larger ("less fewer") size. although who, exactly, considers making a massive paperclip a fun thing to do is beyond me. still, it is larger than what one would think a "standard" paperclip would be. 

every now and then, then, i do like to make use of a copy (or two) of The Joshua Tree off of U2 for a sort of "for scale" thing. my understanding is that "banana for scale" is a "thing" on the internet, which kind of makes sense, but generally i have to hand more copies of The Joshua Tree than i do bananas. rather likely you do not need me to explain this, but that is indeed two copies of the cassette (tape) variation of the album used for scale. as this tape (cassette) is a standard size and shape issue one, it simply is not so that you would need your own copy of The Joshua Tree to grasp the size being compared here, any conventional tape shall (will) do. 

provenance of the koala paperclip? i came to be the custodian after seeing it down the market. generally if i see something or other koala related i will make every effort to buy it, and then worry about what to do with it later. well, worry seems an exaggeration. contrary to the view of some (not many, but still) it isn't the case that i go to the market (usually weekly) with every intention of being certain of purchasing something. true, normally i do, but seldom (if ever) just for the sake of it. obtaining something what is koala related makes my life momentarily, perhaps fleetingly, better. 

not everyone in this odd era of "streaming", i appreciate, shall have a grasp on what actual size (or shape) an actual tape cassette is. doing a further comparison with a compact disc would feel moot for such people. taking as a given that playing cards remain a thing in this unusual century, there, the koala paperclip compared to a standard sized pack of (David Bowie, yes) playing cards. now that i look, and have something akin to a think, a standard deck of cards is probably the size of a tape anyway, so my apologies for the needless double comparison. 

what, apart from the obvious, would be the purpose (or intended use) for this paperclip? actually as far as i can ascertain it is the obvious. my initial thought was that perhaps it was meant to be used as a bookmark. on discussing it with a (good) friend, however, i was inclined to agree with their dismissal of this, for the (and i think this is the correct terminology) tensile strength of it would totes knack the pages of a book. another thought was that it was an elaborate brooch or badge thing, but no, my friend assured me that, in their youth, this sort of paperclip (large with something on it) was very much a thing for use on papers. usually ones of importance, or that one wished to show off with some flair. 

most of my koala collection is featured in the above picture, then, with my bedding of choice also featuring koalas. someone has already taken the trouble to point out to me that me showing off my koala bear collection in this era is perhaps not that great an idea, what with a certain former Prince being famous for (amongst other things) his teddy bear collection. i would really like to think there is not really much comparison between he and i, or between "standard" teddy bears and these quite class koala ones. 

just what, exactly, is the appeal of koalas for me (moi)? they just look really awesome. also they live off of (or on) eucalyptus, and that stuff is smart even beyond the scrabble score you get for the word. do i consider a koala bear to be my "spirit animal" or what have you? maybe. very much everything of this world, this era, this time, suggests that a life lived hanging around in trees getting completely stoned on the fumes of eucalyptus is a more better way to exist that the current reality we have all either made or stood by and let become a thing.

for some i reason i assumed, or took as a given, that anyone interested in koala paperclips would most probably wish to see the back (or rear) of it. so, here you go, above, with the actual cassette tapes in the boxes on display for size comparison. rather sturdy design and make, as you can more or less see in that picture. 

do i intend to make any sort of conventional use of this paperclip? not really, not really. no. i don't have all that much use (or need) for large amounts of paper that require a provisional means of keeping them bound. there is no a single calorie of regret about buying it, mind, even if it is ultimately just going to lay around doing nothing.

be fair dinkum to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mandalorian and grogu

greetings

and so another cinema trip, which after a brief that there London (innit) flourish of such has become a somewhat rare thing. indeed it has been nearly a year since i last went to the movies, with the very excellent Superman luring me in, look you see. for this instance it was, after some nine (or so) years, the arrival of a new Star Wars film as a cinema thing, in the form of, as the title gives you every indication of it being, The Mandalorian & Grogu. 

for those seeking a kind of "spoiler free" review and somehow ended up here rather than on a proper web thing, well, no, it is unlikely to be possible to watch and "understand" (or follow) this without having seen all three series ("seasons", Americans) of The Mandalorian. also (of course) The Book Of Boba Fett, for one cannot really follow all of the series of The Mandalorian without seeing that. beyond that it is a pretty average film, to be both honest about it and quite surprised. not awesome or excellent, but certainly short of being disappointing. every now and then it is quite entertaining, but then (and mostly due to some horrific pacing decisions) it decides to brutally fight against being entertaining. 

right, that's just about as spoiler free as i can write. so, after the picture (below) things what are likely to give away some (a few) details will be present. you have, indeed, been warned. 

one of the more interesting, if not peculiar, things is that the ostensible main thrust (or gist) of the plot has been lifted from the initial movie ("pilot") of the animated The Clone Wars series. no, it is not exactly a new thing for Star Wars to borrow from itself, but still them going "hey, let's do another thing where Jabba The Hutt's otherwise unknown son gets kidnapped again" is a bit peculiar. 

quite likely that this underlines the main "problem" or issue here. as excellent as all the tele stuff has been what featured these two (2) characters, maybe the concept has now been exhausted. yes, the baby yoda (Grogu) character is infinitely cute and is always going to be class to see, but there's not that much they can do with the character remaining as a child ("youngling"). as for the theoretical protagonist, the Mandalorian himself, well, yes, he is a class fighter and bounty hunter. there are certain limits on just how many ways they can put a spin on this. hence, i suppose, the "borrowing" of a plot. 

much has been made of how they are all going "no no, this isn't a proposed 4th series condensed into a film, honest", yet that is precisely how this feels. very little, bar the AT-AT things getting twatted one at the start, appears filmed with "make use of the big screen" as an intention or, more pertinently, need. i would suggest that one of the most disjointed, time consuming sequences (you were warned of spoilers, but you are now warned again) - where Grogu attempts to restore health to the Mandalorian - is generally exhibit a here. had this part been an episode of a (standard 8 episode) series it would have been more better, giving time to show Grogu going, being able to fend for himself, etc. as a film sequence it drags on far too long and is just monotonous to sit through. 

no, it's not al as bad as the above bits (rant, if you like), suggest. there are moments of humour, fun and excitement. for "borrowing" stuff, well, when you realise (you saw the spoiler warnings yeah) that they have recreated the "space chess" thing off of the first (released) Star Wars film, you have to go that's a lovely touch. also the action scenes are decent, and there's the one line humour from the series. 

credit where it is due, mind - this is the first (i think) of the "new" Star Wars films not to feature a single major (or minor) character from the originals. indeed i was hoping for Lobot to turn up, but alas no. however, that said, one does have the feeling that the Sigourney Weaver character was likely supposed to be an outing for a CGI Princess Leia if they thought they could get away with it. 

where does this rank with the "new", or if you will Disney era, of Star Wars? it's nowhere near as dull, tedious and monotonous as the horrid Solo film, no matter how hard it tries at times. also it's not as fan baiting as the "let's let someone who really hates Star Wars make a film" ludicrously bad The Last Jedi was. i won't even have a pirate copy of that in my home, thanks. yet it lacks the excitement and familiar entertainment of The Force Awakens, and it is certainly nowhere near as good as the surprisingly brilliant Rogue One, a film which promised so much for the future. kind of sticking with average, then, for whilst you won't regret watching it you also won't be that fussed about ever watching it for a second time. 

highly likely that anyone wishing to see this film has, at least around the time i wrote this, already done so. there is a certain novelty factor in someone many, many years from now looking at this, curious about an "old" film they heard someone mention..........

live long and prosper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lynx number 10 (ten) under review

hello there

so, another month and another hygiene (of sorts) related post. at the least, in this instance, it is actual, or if you will personal, rather than sentimental, look you see. this is all most probably going to pertain to the imminent event what this particular thing is ostensibly, if not intrinsically (yet i think actually) linked to. which would be the Fifa World Cup 2026 of football (don't think Fifa actually do any other sport, but still) in good ole ye-ha America. oh, and the thing linked to it is a new deodorant (or scent) spray off of lynx (possibly still called axe in some parts of the world) called, as the title gives you every indication of being so, number ten. 

yes, the usual (standard) confession of clarification. i do indeed appreciate that the target market, or demographic, for lynx is feral teenagers so they may indicated their preparedness for breeding purposes. at the time of writing i am (considerably) north of three (3) times the age one should cease using the stuff. unfortunately it remains so that lynx are the only ones here (the UK) what do some occasionally and often incidentally decent deodorants for a somewhat reasonable price. 

as for endorsements, licencing, "official partners" and what have you for major events (normally of a sporting nature), well, really nothing new here. been going on for ages. oddly, and i do wish as far as possible to avoid the "politics" of this imminent World Cup, it has all been a bit sedate this time around, with major sponsors not ramming it down the throat of all and sundry, along with a general lack of excitement or, perhaps, interest in it all. could well be that the sponsors are wary and fans are weary at previous heavy handed policing of official sponsors by them what run it all. 

curious that, and again i am keen to avoid the "politics", the World Cup this year (2026) is being viewed as "the most dangerous" to try and attend, as well as being (for the most part) prohibitively expensive to get to. quite the statement when one considers where, exactly, the last 3 or 4 were held. well, it at the least seems to be viewed that way. in this curious century one is never quite sure if a view is that held by a real majority or simply the loudest on the "internet". 

for me there's a lack of interest purely because it has become too diluted. in the first instance, mind, the huge expansion of the number of teams (well, countries) participating seemed excellent. as it felt like it was reaffirming football as the global game. many countries that would not normally meet nor play each other would do so. however, the matches are spread far and wide, so most of the nations involved will be effectively isolated. there's also too many less than interesting games in the group stages, and the higher number of teams doesn't alter how the winner is going to come from a pool of five or six. 

but there is (of course) one really, really interesting group stage match. assuming it goes ahead. most, if not all, of the world are looking forward to Iran vs Egypt on June 27 (2026), since it has been officially declared the "Pride Match" of the tournament. the "gay game" is how most are referring to it, with the plan, intention and ambition being to introduce homosexuality (and other lgbtqia+ things) to both of those nations, irrespective of whether they care for them or not. as it happens, they do not. 

whereas i am (generally) all in favour of advocating tolerance and acceptance, with my view very much being that if you don't like gay relationships then don't be in one and get on with your life, but i am not sure how, exactly, a game of football is supposed to be a conduit to promoting homosexuality. i mean, are the players of each nation expected to engage in certain acts associated with the lifestyle? my understanding is that Iran are quite cross with it all, and are threatening to pull out (so to speak) of the tournament (see) because of it. well, that and some bombs and stuff. an idea is to replace them with Italy, which makes even less ("fewer") sense. it is widely known that Italy has reached a zeitgeist in terms of this, with the nation already featuring the highest concentration of homosexuals in Europe, if not the entirety of the northern hemisphere. such has been the success of encouraging homosexuality in Italy, under the banner siamo tutti omosessuali adesso, there is now a very real fear that ethnic Italians could become an endangered species if not extinct due to the phenomenally low level of heterosexuality in the nation. don't believe Egypt are all that keen either, but mostly i think they are shrugging and just getting on with it all. 

returning to the (vague) point here, and why is this lynx World Cup related deodorant called number 10? well, traditionally the "10" shirt was worn by the ostensible "hero" in a football team, being the striker, or if you will centre forward. as in the player who(m) would be expected to get the goals. these days, alas, they don't call that a "number ten" any more. some clever person somewhere decided that this should be described as a "false nine" and, to cover the fact that no one understood what that meant but had no wish to look foolish, everyone agreed to do so. 

how is the deodorant (or fragrance) in regards of what it is supposed to do? decent, surprisingly, and well done for persevering with this so far to find that out. generally lynx specialise in things what are heavy on a smell of musk, p!ss and various other undesirable things, with one or two exceptions. this is all rather pleasant, carrying a scent of fragile yet direct rose. makes little sense that it claims to be marine essence (whatever that is), citrus (which is usually their code for musk) and watermelon, but here we are. for some reason eau de watermelon is the rage with most things these days. it is not a bad thing, but it is just strange that all of a sudden everyone is like "f*** it, let us make it watermelon dudes". i suppose it's like if someone had a strange infatuation with shoving lemon into shampoo. 

somewhat confusingly the shower gel variation of number ten (it says it is also a shampoo but i will be f****d if i am putting it in my hair) has a different description, with the bottle saying it is a mix, or blend, of grapefruit (grailfrit) and water mint (whatever the hell that is). odd that it has the same name, then, with a different scent, but again it's not too bad. 

do i have any intention of watching any of the matches at the World Cup? potentially, yes. i believe the one i wish to watch the most (for reasons of Van Halen), England vs Panama, is on at the same time as the previously mentioned "gay game", which shall make for a tough choice. all of it is, as far as i am aware, on "free to air" tele, so there's every chance i will watch some of it. certainly not going anywhere near where the matches are being played, though. 

i seriously doubt my vague review of lynx (or, if we are honest, anything) counts for much. should i be at least partially mistaken in this then i am delighted to confirm that number ten (10) off of lynx is one of the less ("fewer") sh!t ones they do, being mostly hint (or exaggeration) of musk free. quite the shame it is a limited edition thing. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rolling stones - in the stars

howdy pop pickers

well, well. it seems that a pattern has formed in which i procure (purchase) a new single off of The Rolling Stones, or if you like the Rolling Stones, for the seem to drop the "The" bit off their name a fair bit these days, look you see. for those interested this three year (or triannual) thing, here you go, some links. back in those interesting days of 2020 they released one,  and then there was the 2023 release that the band, for some reason, elected not to sell in their very own shop in that there London (innit). 

and now here we are in 2026, with a new Stones (of Rolling) album on the way, and a new single out too. with the merry news that it is an actual, physical format single, and not that "dropped" digital streaming nonsense. you have likely worked out from the title of this post (if you were not aware already) that it is indeed called In The Stars. making this release all the more decent is that it is not just a one track affair, you get a "b-side" too, in the form of Rough And Twisted. as it happens these are the first two songs on the imminent (July, i think) album, Foreign Tongues. 

delighted, and if i am honest a bit surprised, to say that this is really, really good. how good? really very absolutely f*****g great, it is, to be sure. i would argue In The Stars has the best "hook", that which makes a song catchy, since if not Mixed Emotions then possibly Start Me Up. not that what they have done for the other 40 (!) or so years has been poor, just not really quite this grade a business. sure, on the record the "oooooooooo" backing vocal appears (sounds) less Sympathy For The Devil, more Bananarama, but you know what, f*** it, it sounds good.

easily one of the best features of this is the exceptional production work. all too often these days some tapes (discs) sound like they are the hideous, dull "optimised as in compressed and drained of soul" digital files intended for streaming services. this is loud, brash and has been produced to perfection. i strongly recommend this CD single for those who have forgotten just how vastly superior properly mastered compact discs are to streaming. even on my fairly basic (or at least fuss free) Sony this sounds a good deal more better than much i have played in the last few years. 

very good news from the b-side, Rough And Twisted. it's a really "oh wow" proper rhythm and blues number, as in what the term was used to refer to before it got appropriated as "r&b" to label hideous, mostly sampled rubbish from the late 90s onwards. again this is a damned good song, and i am hard pressed to recall when, exactly, i heard a bunch of musicians clearly having so much fun making a record. sure, Keith Richards has made it known he is "not really up" to doing an extensive tour again, but in no way has his guitar skills diminished. turns out that Ronnie Wood is a dapper bass player. 

most reassuring is that Mick Jagger (very much) sounds like Mick Jagger. this is not so with some recent things off other acts who have been around for a while. i mean, as good as the two (2) new U2 ep things have been (and proper CD copies, please), you do have to be told that's Bono. sadly i am finding it difficult to listen to the new Sir Paul McCartney one, he just sounds exhausted and like he is being propped up in a bed making a final confession. 

other than it seeming to have the worst album cover of all time (not sure why they have not just gone with this single artwork instead) i am really looking forward to the whole Foreign Tongues album. clearly they haven't gone back to the studio for the sake of it, for on the basis of these two (2) songs they would appear to have come up with some most excellent new vibes, man. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a decision was made

hi

something of a return of a once regular thing here. that "thing" was (or indeed is, look you see) the occasional instance of observing some discarded or otherwise abandoned footwear. shoes, mostly, if not quite exclusively. a potential point of interest (might) in this instance be the circumstances in which i was afforded time (and opportunity) to see them. 

for what reason has there been a lack of images of abandoned footwear being displayed here? it has been, as far as i can tell, north of two (2) years since i last saw such, or at least saw one of enough interest to share here. which is saying something. doubtful that people have lost their enthusiasm for ad hoc shoe disposal antics, and "unlikely" that councils have all of a sudden invested money in sending teams to go and gather them up. presumably, then, i just have not being paying attention. 

there you go. what looks like a pair of if not fully functional then perfectly serviceable "high heel" shoes, or whatever one calls them. ladies shoes, i would wager, or at the least ones fashioned, produced and intended for ladies, but in this unusual century i struggle to grasp there is every chance that it was a member of the gentry that was wearing them. 

where is it that i saw these shoes? i was at a train station, waiting (in some vain) for a scheduled train. on leaving my lodgings in my era of exile the service was running, but when i got to the station, somewhere south of 10 (ten) minutes later, it was reported as "delayed". the delay was attributed to what they call a "signal failure". what was interesting was that said failure (whatever it is) happened at a station which has just had the benefit of many millions of pounds of work done on it. apparently not on the signal bit. 

eventually, or ultimately, my train was not "cancelled" as such, just "changed" so that it was not going to stop at any actual stations. which of course means no cancellation, no chance at all of any sort of refund or anything close to customer service. thanks. one really does have to ask why trains are apparently owned and run by people who think that not having trains run is the ideal. 

clearer image of the shoes above, then, along with a discarded cigarette butt (despite a number of ashtrays close by) near it. if you are of a mind to look carefully you can see some "red" like marks on what remains of the cigarettes. this would suggest lipstick, which again suggests a lady, but once more in this era who really knows. 

an implication here is that the person (gender unknown) was wearing the shoes as they had a cigarette when, on being finished with it, elected to abandon their shoes for whatever reason. it is fairly widely known that i, too, smoke (sorry), yet at no point yet have i ever finished a cigarette and said "let me commemorate this moment by taking of my shoes and leaving them here". whilst retaining a right to have a change of heart on this, all the same i would say no, it is unlikely i would do such. 

 

doubtful anyone is still reading this, which is rather handy for there is nothing further of interest that i can add. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

joe cole derby league 2025 - 2026

greetings

well, here we all are once more on the most exciting moment of a(ny) football season. that is, of course, the revealing of the prestigious joe cole derby league winners for the year. no, i am not going to repeat all of the reasons why joe cole is so important to modern society, look you see. instead i will present you here with this link to the results of last year's derby league, and if you are all that interested you can find links to the previous ones there. 

oh dear. by not rambling on about the seemingly incessant coverage given to the thoughts of joe cole by the present day media i have left myself short of things to write. but, if we are honest, you are probably hear for the results and the pictures. 

quite a decent season for joe cole derby league enthusiasts, really. unlike previous seasons it was so that matches officially deemed "joe cole derbies" - ones contested between clubs that he played for - were fairly even spread out across the season, instead of the usual concentration of them at a specific point. 

and what impressive results were delivered! loads and loads of goals, only one (1) draw, and no match finished goalless. here, have a gander. 

that so many games finished with 5+ goals perhaps explains the importance of the joe cole derby league. only the most elite of the prestigious clubs - those which he played for - can take part in it, and my do they with some enthusiasm. even, might i add, West Ham, for they clearly gave it all they could in all of their games, despite no return on that. 

during the course of the season it was with some interest that i saw a reference to joe cole in an article. it was on the subject of when fans "boo" their own side (or certain players), published on football365.com, which has been easily the best football website thing i have ever found. were football beyond joe cole be your thing it's well worth going and having a lot at it. 

courtesy football365

exactly how many trophies (or what have you) would England have won if joe cole had been on the field for all of the matches he played in? difficult to say, really. maybe more than it turned out we did, which of course comes to a roundabout total of none (0). 

right, then, the final league standings for the joe cole derby league 2025 - 2026. which (i appreciate) most of you have probably scrolled straight to, rather than wade through the above. 

congratulations to chelsea, then, for a superbly earned win! most goals scored, least ("fewest") let in, or if you like conceded, and claiming victory by a single point. i think it would have been, had liverpool won away at aston villa in the final derby league game of the season, chelsea would still have won it, but only on goal difference. 

yet again i find myself somewhat disappointed with aston villa. sure, second place and with a very decent set of results is admirable, but one does suspect (or fear) that his time at villa is often regarded as the "lost chapter of the joe cole story". huge, if not massive, fall off for liverpool, who(m) normally (or usually) win the league. would not be surprised if they sacked their manager and appointed one who(m) appreciates the importance of the joe cole derby league all the more. 

for west ham, and the fate of this league being documented here next year (if i make it that far), well, quite a sorry state of affairs. at the time of writing there is no confirmation that west ham will remain in the premier league, and losing their place in that will also take them out of the joe cole derby league. of course i shall wait and see what happens, but my instinct is that it would not feel right doing the league with one of the key teams out of it. 

may it be so that for some reason you found this interesting. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of swans and fighter jets

howdy doody

i was, as i am so prone to do during agreeable weather, by a river recently, undertaking some rather unorthodox lung exercises (sorry). this would indeed be a form of activity which my medical team, presently propping me up with all sorts of medication, have indeed encouraged me to cease or, at the very least, cut down considerably. strenuously encouraged, look you see.

whilst doing this i could not but help notice some swans mulling (or if you will swimming) about, doing very much swan things. from what i recall it has been a fair bit of time since i took up some internet real estate with images and videos of such (swans), so here we are. 

yes of course this is all presented in VHS mode, because why not. i really do feel it just makes everything look more better. should you disagree, well, that's fine, but perhaps (or maybe) this really is not the blog for you to be reading. 

quite sure that i have, over the last five or so years (ever since i have been relatively near swans in my era of exile), written all that i could write of swans. to recap, since we are all here now, no, i have no idea if it is true that the reigning monarch of England (or the UK) (or "England-land" if American) really does own all the swans. probably. rather likely they are territorial, and probably could absolutely knack your arm with them beaks and strong necks. 

some video does feel apt, then, what with me using VHS move. and why not. there is a little bit of video of the swans for you above, although i would speculate that this is something you worked out just a little bit before reading my confirmation of such. 

every chance exists that, if you played the video (with the sound on) you heard some unusual sounds which were most decidedly not of swan origin. that would be the second, or if you like final, part of the title, then. as it happens (or happened) there was the occasional fleet (no, hang on, squadron) of fighter jets bombing along. well, bombing as in going some speed, and not literally bombing. not that i saw or heard, at the least. you would think i might have noticed. 

no, not too sure i should be sharing a video (even in VHS mode) of these jets, for one never knows if some sort of Russian (or whatever) spy is trawling this for secrets and information. if so, well, there you go, at the risk of going full tilt The Falcon & The Snowman, yes, our royal air force has some fighter jets. so just behave, look you. 

are fighter jets quite a common thing for me to see? well, not so much i suppose, but then i am not really looking for them. during the day, usually, i am off doing verk stuff. one suspects a life where i had little commitment and thus loads of time to sit and look at the sky would be quite class, alas it is not the kind of life i am living momentarily. 

really not much else i can add here, as you have likely worked out. should seeing swans and (or) fighter jets in VHS mode be your thing, delighted to have provided this for you!

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you know what you are

hello there

quite a few football related posts are coming up here over the next few weeks. well, at least three (3), look you see. one shall (of course) be the usual special "derby league" which celebrates an inexplicably popular player, and then for some reason i have purchased some lynx deodorant what appears to be a tie in or some form of promotional thing for the imminent (at time of writing) world cup. 

but first, well, this. a third trip to the Riverside Stadium to see Middlesbrough, although more frequently referred to as The Boro, play. this follows, link fans, a pre-season friendly, and then a most impressive match during the season, with the latter feeling like a (mostly upwards) turning point. unexpectedly, then, a third and final (for the season) match in the form of the play off semi final first leg against Southampton. 

this was not a match i was realistically expecting to get a ticket for. it was all quite short notice for the game, with it coming 7 (seven) days after it was confirmed we "qualified" for it. demand was high, and with my lowly number of attendances i was very much at the back of the queue. yet, by default or design, i did manage to get one. managed to get my ticket on the tuesday, which was just as well, for certain events (or developments) meant that the already high interest level in the match grew rather higher (or "reverse fewer"). of course more on that as we go. 

normally yes, i would give fair warning if a selfie was going to appear, but hey, deal with it. i am coming to accept that not everyone has no interest in seeing me, so there's one up front for the handful that actually do. 

it would be foolish to write of Middlesbrough vs Southampton without reference to "Spygate", or if you will (and the press do) "Spygate 2.0", for there was a similar issue between Leeds and Derby a few years ago. essentially Middlesbrough "caught" what is believed to be an employee of Southampton spying on our training session the thursday before the match. there are some clearly worded rules with exceptionally harsh penalties in place about this. 

lots and loads has been written elsewhere on it all, much of it (not unreasonably) speculative about potential punishments for Southampton. i will, for the most part, decline to add to that. just really don't understand why a team would risk the punishment for doing this in the peculiar century we are in. had this been the 80s or 90s, i mean, sure. but now? all 46 league games we had played this season would be available to Southampton. whatever they wished to learn would surely have been there. surely also you would just play your best team in any circumstances for such a prominent match? 

mostly i had hoped for a nice, sunny afternoon at the match. we are (ostensibly) in spring, after all, and the week before had been generally lovely weather. not so for match day, as you may be inclined to observe in the above. whereas the rain stayed away until some time after the match, it was all grey and quite windy. 

as i write this, by the way, the second leg (away at Southampton) is on the wireless. no, i do not pay a ludicrous fee for sports on the tele here, and i just cannot be bothered with pirating it, no matter how many dear friends offer to "sort me out". first half is under way, and as of now we have a lead of a single goal. 

going back to the match on saturday, then, and there was a call for fans to arrive early to welcome the team. sadly (alas) i could not make that, for i had a number of "usual saturday" things what i needed to get done. by all accounts it was spectacular, mind, and featured considerably less ("fewer") of throwing things at the visitors than has happened down in Southampton this evening. a universal truth of our nation is the further north you go the more friendly we are. 

celebratory welcomes continued in the ground, mind, as you can (kind of) see in the above video. i was in the north stand, and we were asked to hold up some cards to make a statement as the players came out (so to speak). of course i participated, but also tried to get a bit of video for here. because what else would i do. 

one fairly big part of any football match would be the chants fans come up with. indeed "spygate" came to the fore here. rather frequently you had somewhere north of 30,000 Boro fans in (most impressive) unison chanting "you know what you are, you know what you are, you're cheating b@$tards, that's what you are". granted, perhaps not the most poetical use of the english language ever, but still. 

applause for the other fans who came prepared to taunt Southampton on their spying exploits. particular praise for the young lad (featured in newspapers and what have you) that brought some leafy branches and a pair of binoculars. to be fair a number of the Southampton fans came with similar. gallows humour of a sort. i mean, it is all (very) serious, but you have to have a laugh in life. 

bit more of the pre-match build up in the video above for you. one of Middlesbrough's most famous and dearly loved musicians, Chris Rea, passed away late last year (2025). since then the club have elected to play some of his anthem to his home town, Steel River before kick off. 

review of the match? first half was brutal and unrelenting. often (frequently) football is referred to as being the beautiful game, and our performance was that. well, almost, for we did not score. it was however all one way traffic, Southampton either overwhelmed by just how worked up Boro were for it, simply outplayed or just relied on incorrect information off of their "spies". despite no goal this was easily some of the most enthralling, exciting football i have ever been fortunate enough to see. 

second half not so much. by comparison it was like watching a slowly deflating balloon on the off chance that it did something (vaguely) interestingly and hoping it didn't disappoint. no goals came, but it did feel like the impetus had left us. if we were going to win that match - just the first leg, and the second is currently 1-1 - one got the feeling that the goals had to come in that magical first half. 

whilst outside outside, as in outside of the no smoking area (sorry), i got to catch up with a dear friend, and yes there is a picture below. this was at half time. he said that he had a fear of the game going the way a number had this season, especially the one against Portsmouth. in that match we also loaded on the pressure, dominated and managed to lose to a late, late goal. we at the least avoided that this time around. but we have ended up in the play offs, rather than straight promotion via a few too many games that went that way. 

other things were indeed chanted during the match. although i was in what is (ostensibly) classified as the "family stand", with the more hardcore fans being over in the south stand, one would not guess it from some of the language. a chap not far off me, for instance, called out to one of the Southampton players by means of referencing his Bavarian origins and his (in his view) remarkable likeness to a female reproductive organ, in the most direct language possible. 

there was a slight further commotion in our stand when it (as far as i could ascertain) turned out that a few Southampton fans had somehow managed to get tickets for that area. bit of a no-no, that is, and they were ejected relatively harm free. one would suspect that those what helped them buy tickets are going to get a ban from the ground. 

yes. then, a second picture of me (moi) with my chum, then. always good to see him. actually caught up with another good friend at the match, but he doesn't really do the "selfie" thing. 

it has been "weird", or if you like peculiar, to get to as many games as i have this season. yet i am aware that, in the grand scheme of things, it has not been all that many. would i like to go to more? sure, but it's that double of time and money, alas. i have nothing but respect and admiration for fans of all teams that make the sacrifices to go to just about every match. 

for "real time" as in as i write this (poorly, yes), second leg has finished 1-1, so extra time. some stories are circulating about a proposed punishment (or penalty) for Southampton in regards of the charges made. if they are correct, well, it would make both the match i attended and the one going on somewhat academic if not irrelevant. 

last bit of video for you, then (above), at the end of the match. sure, some disappointment with the fact that it ended 0-0, but overall the comments and chat i heard wasn't all that negative, for our players went out and gave it a damned good goal. bit too much passing when we should have taken a shot at goal and taking shots when better options were there to pass to. 

nearly time to sign this off, but whilst i wait for the conclusion of this evenings match to add it in, the winner (by default or design) of this match shall face Hull in the play off final. reward for winning that one is promotion to the Premier League, and thus lots and lots of lovely money. 

right, oh dear. Southampton 2 Middlesbrough 1 after extra time, so that's Southampton vs Hull in the final, depending on various legal ramifications. perhaps, objectively, it is better to remain in a division where we are competitive rather than go up to one where we scrape and scrap for survival.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flutter

ow do

whereas i have no idea as to the how, when or why of such it is a commonly accepted thing that the horse race known as the grand national became the biggest betting day in the UK. it is an occasion when all who(m) would not usually bet, and this includes me, look you see, shall place a wager on a horse (and requisite jockey) surviving what is considered a tough, demanding and dangerous course, and of course doing so faster than the others. 

as it turns out, by chance more than any notion (or belief) of skill, i went and backed a winner, didn't i just. yes, true, i put the odds slightly in my favour by placing a wager on three (3) different horses, but still, the returns (as in coins of money won) came to an amount which exceeded the net total of what i had bet. 

quite the pocket weighing down hefty return i got there for my brave and bold decision to place twenty five large on the horse what won it, I Am Maximus. so long as you (as i choose to) define "large" as being pence. my thinking was "well, that one is the favourite and i think it won last year, so go on then let me include it". 

the other horses i bet on? one was called Commander Cody, which i think is the name of a character out of that Star Wars thing, specifically the Clone Wars which my (known) children love. for the other it was Firefox, and yes purely because of the boss Clint Eastwood film called Firefox. my winnings would have been considerably (if not formidably) higher had either of those two won, but alas no, they didn't. 

despite having no particular interest in horse racing (or gambling in general) i confess to being quite fascinated by it all. it is, in all likelihood, the single most ruinous vice that remains accepted as being quite normal by the standards of society. my suspicion is the tales of addiction and financial woe, with consequences of the latter being a myriad of darkness, would fuel nightmares. yet gambling dominates advertising these days, with various bookies (or similar) being prime sponsors of sports. not quite the same moral compass used to judge smoking, for instance. 

i do (that said) sometimes wish i could live the life of cunning, guile and bravado what my good friend Eddie Baby does. he will walk into a bookies, right, select a horse and then say something really cool sounding like "fifty grand, on the f*****g nose", and know what all that means. that just sounds a good deal more exciting than my own existence. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

volumatic bongpuller

heya

just another vague update on my plight with medical exploits, look you see. so, if you aren't particularly interested in such, or are (understandably) disappointed that such has not quite finished me off yet, well, likely best you move one. 

so yes, still going. yay me. it has been, more or less (give or take), one calendar year since it all kicked off, as it were. as for what "kicked off", well, here is the start of it all, and you are welcome to search the blog for further updates if your interest is sufficiently piqued. 

even if one is not inclined to care for my usual proclivity for a sense of the theatrical it is not overly dramatic to say that the year which has just concluded after the incident is a year i, at the time, really did not think i would be getting. not sure i have done all that much of importance (or interest) with this "bonus time", except kept on living. perhaps that is enough. 

to ensure that i have remained a going concern, and yes (mostly) the primary reason for such is that it would be a massive inconvenience for some if i was not i have done (and complied with) almost all of the stuff what my incumbent medical team have said i needed to do. as in yes, no, i have not quite managed to reduce or quit smoking as such as yet (sorry). mostly i have little idea what i would do to replace it, but also i do rather enjoy it. 

recently, as in my appointment just prior to the one i shall document here, i was given a prescription for a device. no, there was no comment or instruction with this, at least not beyond a reminder to bring it with me to the next appointment. oh. so, with little other (practical) option, i picked up the prescription, noted (or observed) it was quite big, and just left it in the bag it came in until the appointment where i had to remember to take it. 

it turned out what i was going to be doing was a "breathing test". no particular clarification was given as to why, exactly, i needed this. perhaps it is for (somewhat) obvious reasons, pertaining to the consequences one can (reasonably) expect from smoking. the air of mystery emanating from my medical team is far from a new phenomenon. it wasn't all that long ago, after all, that i got some development news in the form of a brief call - "nothing to worry about, we just think your heart might fail, we have sent a new prescription through, please start taking the tablets immediately". 

once upon a time i did, famously, have someone who(m) i considered my personal physician. he tended to give any prognosis news with a degree (or two) more sensitivity. also, and this was truly tremendous, he soon learned not to discuss health matters which might relate to smoking, for he soon discovered that it wasn't all that great to be hit quite hard. anyway, if for some reason you wish to explore more of the days of my personal physician, at random click here, here and indeed here. that last one is particular interesting as it also features my personal photographer. 

yes, i remembered to take the prescribed device, and certainly i attended my appointment on time. with not too much of a wait for it to start, or commence. for those wanting to know the results without having to plough through whatever i write here, surprisingly my breathing, as in my lungs, are "not bad". no, i am not hiding something there. well, yes, my breathing and lungs would be classed as excellent if i happened to be nineteen (19) years older than i actually am. but, with where i am, there's no blockages, although i was not expecting them, and my breathing is functional. which i take as serviceable rather than being optimal. 

pills, then, for a slight detour, lots and lots of pills. i remain somewhat ambivalent (or indifferent) to taking them in the sense that it does not cause me any distress. there are some, perhaps many, who(m) loathe and detest the idea of taking medication, either in the short term or, as would seem to be the case with me, until the end. i can only take it as they feel it carries a sense of failing, or weakness, or maybe there is just the fear of dependency. this is something i can respect, and don't really think i am in any sort of position to suggest a way to change perception. 

be warned, for yes, a selfie is coming up in the next picture. during these breathing test things, which i may well actually write about just now, i was required to take a break. some ten to fifteen minutes or so, during which i returned to the waiting room. yes, i did indeed (and of course) ask if it was all right if i just nipped out for a cigarette during the break and the (quite) short version of the answer was no, it was not, so i passed some of the boredom with this selfie. 

 

so, anyway, the tests. a lot of breathing in and out, to be honest, and into multiple devices. well, two (2) for those that like specifics; one that was provided there and the one i needed to bring with me. first round, as it were, was all with the one they had set up. i needed to take a massive deep breath in, and then breathe it out as hard as i could into the device. quite exhausting and draining, to be honest, or at least (considerably) more so than i had anticipated. 

at first my main issue with doing these tests was taking them seriously, or trying not to have a fit of giggles. yes, this is very much down to my mind (or thoughts) considering what an excellent bong each of them would make. hence the title of this post. whereas i would suggest, or speculate, that i am now beyond an age where making use of a bong would be appropriate i am delighted that my mind is not yet all that old that such ideas still roam freely. 

once the tests were all done, and the doctor had a resigned look of deflation that they had not provided any solid evidence that i must quit smoking right now, i asked what, exactly, i was to do with the one bong like breathing test that i was prescribed. also the pump thing that came with it, which to my eyes looks rather like one of them asthma inhaler things. the answer was that i should keep it, and "make use of it" if i felt i needed to. no clarity was given on how, when or why i would know (or feel) that tis was the case. so i guess it is sitting in its box in the cupboard. unless, of course any of my (admittedly limited) social circle have a compelling need for a new bong. 

further medical updates are (alas) likely over the next few weeks, or month or so. coming up next are yet more blood tests. probably "spend a penny" wee wees ones too, since a consequence of the medication i am on is to tamper with what my kidneys are supposed to do. also that thing where they blind me with light to check my eyes are not f****d, and also ram a pointed stick into my feet so to ask me what i feel about it. so yes, sometimes it is interesting to be me. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!