a career no more

greetings

there are many, many careers, professions or even vocations, look you see, that are no more. so they are not careers, etc, i suppose. oh. well, anyway. it was, perhaps is and maybe forever will be that some grew up believing they would know exactly what it is they would do with their lives, only to find that the ambition no longer has a reality. 

in the present day it is (of course) the disappearance of the job (or career) of going around and collecting coins from payphones which is the most concerning. distressing, even. a number believe that all this "conspiracy theory" stuff where people who call for 5G masts (also previously 4G and 3G ones) to be destroyed, preferably by fire, is nothing more than the offspring of generations of payphone coin collectors, with their hope being to unilaterally destroy the mobile phone market, thus forcing people to once again use public telephone boxes. exactly how close they are to achieving this ambition is, suspiciously, not reported, but i think the figures for sales of mobile phones provides answers. 

whilst some would argue the elimination of payphone coin collectors is perfect natural selection, or otherwise a welcome trimming of the herd, the disappearance of other careers can be a good deal more divisive. especially, as is the case with what i have in focus here, when the profession to be gone was wiped out, almost overnight, by one single, solitary rogue type. yes, of course, and obviously, the career under question here is that of "houseguest", a job made redundant by the actions (or inaction) of just one person, Kato Kaelin. indeed, that Kato Kaelin. 

for some background, yes, of course it is so that the job (or career) of "houseguest" appeared to be one which was exclusively open to Americans, in America. the first any of us (really) in the rest of the known world came to know of it was probably True Romance, when we saw Brad Pitt play the role of such an employee. except we had no idea that someone got paid to be a "houseguest", for we were far too busy wondering why, exactly, someone would have someone just stay at their house for no apparent or given reason at all. no, it was only when, and credit where it is due in spectacular fashion, Kato Kaelin lost his job as a "houseguest" that eyes were opened up to how this was an actual career. 

my suspicion is that i could well attract a whole lot of needless silly bother, or step into (from a legal perspective) some sticky mud if i spoke too much of exactly how and specifically why Kato (and his unusual job) came to public attention, which particular emphasis on when the career ended. no matter how much those events get discarded as a "trivial irony" in the present day, let me try and write of all of this without going into too many aspects of it all. 

just what, exactly, precisely or in some vague, general terms, does an employed "houseguest" actually do? not as much clarity on this exists as one might wish for. the Americans seem rather reticent to share too much information about it with the rest of the world, which kind of makes sense as they didn't really run around telling off of us about the job. it is, mind, with some certainty that we can speak of what the job does not entail, with "providing accurate accounts" and "alibi" featuring rather prominently in such a list, if one were indeed to make a list of "not essential" roles. 

having a flamboyant hairstyle, if we base requirements of the role on Kato, certainly seems to be a key part of the role. some passing claim to coming close to previous fame is also beneficial, mindful of how he very nearly had an acting career just years prior to his coming to public attention. i think wearing variations of white linen suits was a big part of the job too, combined with lighter pastel shades for other garments, but that's also what you need to be a copper in Miami. mostly i think the job requirement was to just be a "houseguest", trying or striving to do little more than sit around in a sort of quasi-poseur way, doing stuff like reading magazines and making the odd concessional observation. 

does any chance of this career being available again exist? possibly. certainly, if it were to come back into being, it would be with a lot less drama than the role of fetching coins out of phones. yet barriers exist for any return. the biggest, of course, would be that it requires someone to stand up, to raise their hand in a metaphorical and actual way, and speak the words "i want to be like Kato Kaelin". 

let no surprise cloud this announcement, but yes, Spiros did - briefly - explore the idea of hiring a permanent "houseguest". ultimately this fell away, with the failure being in a lack of decent candidates. whilst not wishing to dwell on the episode, those Spiros interviewed and found unsuitable included a Swede obsessed with ducks and measuring men for suits, as well as a shepherd that ended up fleeing to a province in the southern areas south of the equator so as to make numberplates. 

chances of the job, role or career of "houseguest" coming to be a thing again would also, you would think, depend on people applying for the role being prepared to change their name to 'Kato'. this, i firmly believe, is a traditional essential, and is done so in order to pay homage to Burt Kwok out of them smart Pink Panther films. also one can't really see the circumstances where someone would pursue this career yet not wish to embrace the name. 

it shall no doubt be that historians of the future (rather than the past) shall be intrigued by the entirely American phenomenon of hiring a "houseguest". undoubtedly it will be studied in terms of a sign, or better signature, of exactly what America did after winning the 'Cold War'. with capitalist pig dogs triumphant over the comrades, such was the wealth and opulence spread so evenly across the United States that people were able to squander the infinite resource of money on hiring a person to just sit around and do little; certainly not to any discernible help in a legal matter. 

no, i have no interest in either hiring a "houseguest" or changing career to become one. but, if for some reason you have either in consideration, best of luck, and as a back up go small with the gloves.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!