Sunday, September 29, 2019

the hand that wrote this letter

hey there


many thanks indeed, look you see, to those erratic types at Royal Mail. why? well, recently they took it upon themselves to send me a lavish, quite expensive looking booklet, promoting some stamps they were selling what had Elton John on them.

this was quite a high class booklet, printed on good quality, thick and shiny hard paper. believe me, i had every intention of showcasing it here, but - alas - i cannot seem to find it. perhaps i have placed it in recycling, or maybe i had some accident with it, like dropping it into a large body of olive oil or similar such liquid.

anyway, prompted by this clearly high cost promotion, i logged on to the website of Royal Mail and had a bit of a gander at what they had on offer. having weighed up the relative and comparative merits and cons of Elton John stamps, i elected to make a purchase.



yes, i decided that the best thing to go and do was to purchase some more (further?) of the David Bowie stamps they issued a little while ago. well, they were still available, and if we are honest about it fairness states that i am something of a Bowie fan rather than an admirer of Sir Elton. not that one could not appreciate both, i suppose.

believe it or not i really did try and find some of the Sir Elton stamps to purchase. what it came down to, however, was that none of his albums were ones i would care to send on a letter rather than a Bowie one. also, i would argue, whilst he is iconic and some (quite a few) of his songs have an iconic status, none of his albums really are. the closest is probably the celebrated Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, but then again it comes down to would i rather send that than, say, Aladdin Sane or "heroes"?

the vast wealth, the knighthood and the concert ticket sales what Sir Elton has accumulated over the years gives every indication that someone, somewhere, is the target market for his stamps. alas, or just how it is, that is not me, or anyone engaged in correspondence with me.



do i actually write (and subsequently send) enough letters to in any way justify or account for fretting over the qualities of the stamps i use on them? perhaps, or possibly, not. there was a time when i was a prolific letter writer, but that has all gone now. why? life, really. why, or why not? again, time, i suppose. in no particular quasi order, family, verk and all them sort of responsibilities stands in the way of being able to sit and write, or if you will compose. also, i suppose, there is a significant emphasis on immediate, "digital" communication these days, but that (and you hardly need me to tell you this) lacks the qualities of a proper letter.

in, or to, my mind, it could be said that (i suppose) to some extent writing this blog over the last, what, decade and a half has kind of replaced sending letters. some, but certainly not all, of what i write here is a bit like what i would have written and sent to people, i guess. so, if for some reason you were wondering what my letters might be like, browse around this corner of the web.



although, maybe, i should return to writing "proper". there seems to be a number of those "website" things which offer opportunities for penpals, with one or two of them even seeming to be quite legitimate and not scams. it is possible, much like the presumed readership of this blog, that someone unknown around the world would wish to hear more from me in a written, paper based, signed off way. who knows.

yes, then. once again i have managed to successfully not stick to that thing of saying that i would probably not write of Bowie at least once a month. just. oh.

well, speaking of which, in terms of my writing (not your reading), that would be that for another month. let me go and consider how best to use these smart new stamps, then, and also contemplate what to write next here.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











Friday, September 27, 2019

some splendid reading

hello reader


well, the usual (or standard) drill, look you see. i've read a further two - not three, not five and not just one - books, so now it is time for me to speak of them here. not speak, i guess, but write. although i guess it is my "speaking" through words, no this is getting distracting.

it is with delight that i stress the sentiment of the title, which is intended to imply that the two (not four, three, five, etc) books i read were highly satisfactory reading. how satisfactory? very satisfactory, indeed. oh.

as usual, then, a look at the two (no i am not doing the numbers in brackets any more) novels which were read, followed by a quick, spoiler free review. kind of.



Ruin Beach by Kate Rhodes sounded like it would be a quite interesting "return home to solve a crime" mystery thriller, and it turned out to be close to this. The Taking Of Annie Thorne by CJ Tudor sounded like it would be a quite interesting "return home to solve a crime" mystery thriller, and it very much turned out to be this and then a good deal more.

yes. two very similar themed novels in terms of premise, and indeed both share an interesting narrative. but the stories themselves are radically different from each other, which might (might) be clear if i am somehow able to write all this proper. there is something of a temptation to look at both books together, as it happens, but this seems unfair. oh, yeah, anyway, as usual a *** SPOILER WARNING *** be in place, although i shall try to proceed carefully.

so, starting where i did would mean first having a look at Ruin Beach by Kate Rhodes.

the provenance of my copy? almost certainly Tesco and their ever dwindling sized bookshelf, with this being a select "novel of the week" at the time. which is to say it shall have been priced at either £3.00, £3.50 or maybe £2.50, depending on how long ago this came out and when exactly they commenced shoving prices up.

plot? a police officer detective type, on shaky ground in terms of retaining his employment for reasons never made compellingly clear, works and hopes to continue to work on the small, sleepy, nothing much happens island where he was born and has since returned. the idea of nothing much happening all comes to an end when an inexplicable murder takes place, shocking the close knit community of inhabitants. or, as the investigation progresses, is it a close knit community, was the crime inexplicable and could the incident be seen as being at all as shocking as first presumed? well, that is sort of the plot to it all, it was certainly something like that on the back of the book, along with the price, which had be intrigued enough to give it a go.

a truth would be that the write up had a Wicker Man sense to it, and that was what interested me enough to give it a go. the book doesn't quite follow on this expectation, but nonetheless, or if you will all the same, i found it interesting, and steadfastly remained engrossed in reading to try and work out exactly who had done what, and to what end. yes, satisfactory ending.

the highlight, for me, was the flawed narrator style of the protagonist. yes, sure, that kind of thing is supposed to be the job of the writer and that, but this was something different. normally flaws get heavily or ham fistedly signposted by writers that overstep the bounds. here, the longing, the loneliness of the narrator take a subtle background place, presented as casual thought as they should. does this point make sense? i hope so, for the narrative style was really a winner here. and the fact that it is a really, really good story, layered with yes, no, maybe potential leads and clues which are all plausible and make sense.

moving on, so as to avoid spoilers, to the second one i read then. which was The Taking Of Annie Thorne by CJ Tudor.

provenance of my copy? recently, and £3.50, at Tesco, again. yes, i do look at other places for books, but i am there more frequently i suppose, and anyway Morrisons always charge 50p more. regular, actual book shops are just too far away. even if i got them at that price, costs of fuel, time of driving and parking fees knack it. oh.

the plot? a less than successful and down on his luck teacher with a troubling past returns to his home town (more of a village) really to take up a post made recently available via a quite horrific incident. what appears to be the return home to lick wounds and rebuild soon becomes very clearly not at all what is going on.

i have no wish to speak more of the plot, for i fear that anything else i added would well and truly be a "spoiler" of sorts, or might well give away some of the enjoyment of reading. and this, believe or trust me, or accept my view, is a truly special, remarkable and thoroughly engaging read. let me be honest, the moment i saw a new book by the author of Chalk Man, it was bought and immediately jumped over some 8 or 10 books i have sat here waiting to be read. you may well have interpreted this for yourself, but in no way was that decision incorrect.

again, like Ruin Beach, much of the appeal of the novel comes from how the flaws of the narrator flow naturally, not being "forced" for the sake of telling a story. everything actually feels like flowing memory, which is a spectacular trick for a writer to pull off as well as can be found in both of these novels. but, this one in particular, for if i had to choose yes it was the favourite of the two.

there is a constant concern i have with this sort of post, one of how by not wishing to say too much i end up saying too little. i can only hope this is not the case, or true. my wish really is to just flag up or alert to the merits of some novels, or the failings of a few. at all times the focus, however, has to be on making sure i do not distract from the experience anyone else has.



in stating the obvious, it is always a treasured delight when you get to read a book that you are left entirely satisfied with, and have no complaints beyond the fact that the story is now finished. the cost of the book itself is irrelevant, it's that reward for time invested in reading i speak of.

my very best wishes of good fortune to CJ Taylor. to have produced two such superb novels with her first two books is nothing short of fantastic, but i would speculate adds to pressure on the third. i, we, readers, can but have confidence. as for Kate Rhodes, yes, on the basis of Ruin Beach i would indeed wish to read more of her works. and will, as and when i spot them on my travels.

right, so, anyway, as ever, hope this is of some use to someone somewhere!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Wednesday, September 25, 2019

back to random

hey there


for some reason a couple of "random" posts i did a few years ago have had significant reads, or "more hits", of late, look you see. whereas i really just write this all to amuse myself (you will observe a lack of adverts or any other means of making money off it), i am not immune to or insulated from observing what people who are so kind as to come and look at all of this wish to see. so, then, a somewhat brief, off the cuff return to all things random. this will, but of course, look at things from the past, since i have not used my special powers to look at the future of late. perhaps i will soon.

i would imagine, or guess, that the increased number of reads comes off of people scouring for vintage, amusing or all of a sudden culturally relevant pictures and articles from the past. this is so they may spread them across various social media things, for likes and upvotes but also to bring cheer to all who see. nothing wrong with any of that, so far as i am aware, and let us be honest there are far worse things people could be doing with all this technology.

anyway, off we go. in terms of chronology and a semblance of order to how things appear here, you may find that it is all non-linear and indeed non non-linear at times.



twenty five years ago (assuming you are reading this in 2019) was a time when portable cd players, often alluded to as a "discman", were very much a thing, in the same sense that mp3 or other such digital devices were not. it was so, though, that the cassette based personal stereo, the walkman, was still king for mobile music. why? a CD was a very expensive item to wander around with, the batteries on a discman burned out very fast, and the laser was prone to "skipping" as you walked. the cassette ruled, for it was cheap, easy to make at home, and the batteries on a walkman lasted a fair while.

for just measurably south of forty years i have made use of a walkman, or other such cassette devices (strictly speaking only sony devices are to be called a walkman, for they own the trademark, copyright, etc). i would like to think i know that which i speak of, then, and let me assure you the one pictured above remains my all time favourite one. not entirely sure of the specifics, but i have been through 2 or possibly 3 of these, with the demise of each unit being overuse and my fault, as in not via a flaw in the mechanisms.



it is important to note that the above is off of 1985. should you opt to read this in a linear, or if you will non non-linear way, well, doing so (noting the year) will make for all the more of a rewarding experience. maybe.

this, 1985, was all pre-EU. the relations between European nations was all just the EC or EEC, i forget when which was which. it related purely to trade and other such economic agreements, with virtually all of the European nations still having their own currency, and to some extent all such countries appearing to be quite exotic (and expensive) holiday locations, rather than cheap and easy to access.

learning French is quite a useful thing, i suppose. however, i do wonder about the wording there. just how is it that one would "surprise themselves" learning French if they opted or otherwise elected to knowingly sign up for a course to do so?



by 1989 - a mere four years later - you can see in the above how this Linguaphone crew (or business) had substantially upped the game. see, i told you it would be rewarding if you were patient. or maybe it isn't, anyway. apparently they sensed a change, with people travelling further away and indeed people from far away increasingly coming to the UK. so, they increased the number of languages they offered you to learn, presumably by surprise.

did any of these courses actually work? i have no idea. presumably yes, and continue to do so, for very similar courses and learning packs are sold to this very day. in terms of learning another language, i have not seen any need to. for me the old fashioned way, simply repeating what i said, in English, slowly and loudly, and in the face of a non-English speaker, tends to work just fine.

quite a controversial section is coming up now, so you may wish to either skip over the next two or so images, or indeed just stop reading now. up to you, really.



ah, yes. Scandinavian video. this is all to do with "adult entertainment", of if you will erotica.

some people really need to get over themselves. it might be that they do not care for filth, or that sort of thing, but the truth is it has driven most of the technology we use and take for granted. how so? well, in reference to home video, much of the early success of home video in the 70s and early 80s was down to it allowing people to watch this sort of thing in the privacy of their own home. on a very much related note, a deciding factor for victory in the VHS vs Beta war was the fact that the adult entertainment industry opted to make VHS their chosen format. very similar has happened in this century, with Blu Ray beating off HD DVD due to erotica being available on Blu Ray and not the other.

how (unless you have had someone print this out) you are reading this was also driven by the same industry. for the first ten or so years it existed, it was calculated that some 80% of "internet traffic" was driven by erotica and very much that sort of thing. now we have an expanded idea of what we can use the internet for, when you include online shopping, social networks, "streaming" or downloading music and films, the overall amount of traffic for erotica and that sort of thing across the entire internet has now dropped to 78%.

was it the case that home video involved a similar percentage of use back in the 80s? it was not far off, at least not in the UK. for much of the first half of the 80s you couldn't really purchase mainstream films on video, only rent them. so, you had blanks that you recorded stuff off of the tele, and a few mail order companies agreed to sell you filth on video, to watch again and again.

in terms of recording things off of the tele, some chose to record films (usually pausing the breaks when recording off ITV or Channel 4), but mostly it was Bullseye that people used home video recording technology for. as he was required to go around the world, performing miracles and brokering peace in various international relationship matters, Bullseye was not shown all around the year. to counter this, people simply bought some Memorex or Scotch blank video cassettes, and made recordings of every episode of Bullseye that ITV cared to screen, so that they may watch it on a Sunday evening during those rather nihilistic weeks when it was not being broadcast as standard.

yes, the above is a promotional advert for Bullseye during its most hedonistic period, which of course was 1985. that is indeed an image of the controversial - and never repeated - instance of The Krankies being allowed to appear, a couple of decades or so before "wee" Jimmy Krankie left the band and pursued a career as the leader of the SNP. exactly which of her two careers has been the most successful is debatable, but certainly is not for me to have a mass debate on.



back to (possibly) less controversial stuff, then, with this advertisement from our friends in America, dating all the way back to 1976. no, the one that came after 1975 by conventional measurements of such, and not the other 1976. glad to clarify.

i think the world is already full of encyclopedia references, with people going "ha ha ha, look at how many books you had to buy for hundreds of (insert currency) and store, when now you can get even more information right on your phone for a fraction of the cost". they are right in what they say, but i am uncomfortable with this being used as a reason to joke or laugh. we are, i believe, quite prone to taking for granted the remarkable leap in technology, the advances we have made in spreading knowledge and the rapid ways in which we can now access that sort of thing in south of forty years, or if you will during my lifetime. to where next, i wonder.

something which paradoxically has gone backwards over the same period is, of course, attitudes towards smoking. we, as a society, have regressed somewhat, deciding to blame smoking and particular cigarettes for all ills in the world, whilst for some reason promoting the use of rather dangerous stuff such as heroin instead.



this was not always so, of course. in more enlightened times smoking was encouraged and seen as a symbol of sophistication and class. and what could have been more sophisticated or classy than smoking a pipe?

a similar offer to the advert above today - particularly the freepost address element - would be an extremely welcome thing. there is absolutely no way in the current climate, of course, that any tobacco producing company would be able to send off free samples at all, never mind on the basis that someone had simply requested such.

or perhaps they would. i mean, i do not know for certain. for some reason it has not occurred to me to pen a letter to them what make Marlboro and so forth, asking them to send on a sample so that i may know if i would like to use their products. let me go and fetch the stamps.

to barely remain in the 1980s, it was of course so that the 80s marked the last time we could witness one decade pass into another for reasons of itself. once 1999 rolled around it was, of course, all Prince references and wondering about the coming of a new century and new millennium rather than just a new decade.

providing entertainment to see out the decade was a formidable challenge, then. this was all the more true of the classical broadcasters, who had the very recent emergence of satellite tv in the uk to face down.

whereas i do not have information to hand as to how the state broadcaster, the BBC, handled the change from 1989 to 1990, for some reason itv opted to go for a Cilla Black exit and welcome. quite a bit, if not all, of the reason for this would have been due to the immense success of the shows what she did for itv during the decade, in particular Blind Date and Surprise Surprise.

did i happen to watch this televisual feast? not that i can recall, no. this was all somewhere around thirty years ago, so i can't remember with any sort of precision what i was doing. actually, i think i may well have been at a party at someone's house. or maybe i was at home, which is quite probable if one of the BBC channels had something with Hugh Laurie in it on, or indeed on with him in it. but no, now that i have had time to have a little think on the matter, i am almost certainly definite that i happened to be at a party this particular new year celebration.

what was the approach of Channel 4 to the matter of the best thing to broadcast on the instance of the last new year eve changing to a new decade that could be celebrated just for what it was in itself? an interesting approach, to say the least. you can kind of make out in this image that they went right ahead with an idea to broadcast something called Sticky New Year with Julian Clary.

let it not be said, then, that Channel 4 was not always belligerent, courting controversy and seeking open confrontation as and when it could. as the channel did not even exist at the start of the 80s i suppose there are some who would say that they had no business marking the end of it, but i find that unfair. many of the things what made the 80s smart stemmed from Channel 4, after all. in this i speak of The Tube, with their giving a break to Frankie Goes To Hollywood and of course broadcasting Fish out of Marillion naked at around 6pm. and really, really smart comedy shows such as Who Dares Wins and, really, just that, but i suppose also Whose Line Is It Anyway. and they broadcast Cheers, too.

to go back, or return, to the world of encyclopedia books, here's a gem of an advert which i observed as i trawled around the internet looking for things to place in this post. at the risk of inflaming tensions again, i felt it best to share it.



my biggest concern about posting this is, of course, rattling the cage of those who have some sort of vendetta against me, claiming that i am not a "proper" fan of either (proper, 70s) Battlestar Galactica or indeed InterGalactic by the Beastie Boys.

but that said, maybe i am giving such opponents ammunition, for no, i never did own any of the items above. well, not that i can recall, no. i certainly would have liked to own them, but as you can see it's a bit irrelevant or a moot point for the smart iron on transfers were apparently sold out before anyone could even buy them. oh.

one last picture, then, and possibly relevant to how you may be looking at this post. also, quite a nice sort of "bookend", really, for just as the first image was, so too this last image is a gift from that Argos place.



yes, some 25 years ago (assuming you are reading this in 2019), a relatively decent computer (with monitor, speakers and a quite boxy mouse) would have set you back one pound south of thirteen hundred pounds, or if you like one thousand three hundred. in this day and age, of course, you can get a far more powerful computer than this for (significantly) south of 10% of that fee. oh, if only the same reverse inflation (deflation?) applied to cigarettes, most happy would my life be.

right, well, anyway, that's more than enough random. for now, at the least. presumably something in this has been of interest to you somewhere, hence you reading this far. and thanks for doing so.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Monday, September 23, 2019

party trick

hi there


a bit of a "so near and yet so far" type of post, look you see, or for those of you of a more visceral, literary proclivity, you can do that thing (you do) where you say best of times, worst of times. but that's not really far, i guess, as ultimately everything turned out all good.

recently i had reason to wander around a small but significant hamlet on the plains of the wastelands of cleveland and redcar, no matter where it tries to claim it belongs. still, nice enough place. my reasons for such were needing to wait around whilst the nice people at the exhaust menders performed their art and mended the exhaust on our car. well, not "mended" so much as "replaced", for our rather insolent one elected to fall off.

to sort of get back on point (appreciating no such point has been made yet), on my wanders i found a few things of interest in shops. mostly i visited charity shops to see what donations caught my eye and would enable me to donate further to good causes, but yes, i did indeed go into a supermarket with my post Fortnum & Mason bag and yes the staff of such seemed suitably impressed.



it was quite exciting when i spotted the above, presented here in Commodore 64 mode for obvious quality of clarity reasons. for further reasons of clarification, yes, that is the 1983 (or maybe 1984) cassette single, or cassingle, or singlette, of the debut single by Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Relax. as i was, am, and always shall be a Frankie fan i did not hesitate in picking it up, especially when it was a bargain at 49p. this one is a bit rare, so normally it goes for north of five pounds.

what exactly is it? a throwback to the days when music features attention to detail at every level. for some Frankie, or their label ZTT, were notorious for releasing multiple versions of a single, with the accusation being that they "manipulated the charts" by having different editions out for sale. not true, i would say. each and every release of Frankie's singles, be it vinyl, tape or later CD, featured entirely different versions, extra tracks, artwork (mostly) and linear notes. you got value for money.

also, people had to go out and buy the records. if they were no good, then people would not have. gone, of course, are the days. now the charts are a mess, thanks to Edwin Sheridan (or whatever) and his contemporaries. no, now, rather than putting effort into making an attractive product people want, record labels simply set up multiple "streaming" accounts on which to play their music on repeat, with such somehow counting for "sales". to boot, they also appear to enter into "strategic partnerships" with the streaming services. for those of you who use such facilities, ever noticed how certain artists seem to frequently feature on supposedly "random" playlists?



no, of course good fortune did not smile upon me. it was, as illustrated above, an entirely different cassette in the box. whereas i have not played it, i have every confidence that it is indeed Sir Richard of Cliff, doing love songs (apparently) on the tape. probably recorded off a vinyl record by someone, or maybe they did it tape to tape.

quite a pity, as i never had the proposed version of Relax in my collection. the 12" and 7" seemed like enough at the time, and to be honest not all editions always turned up across the country. also, i am not sure if this was usually referred to as the from soft to hard from dry to moist version as the cover state. usually, i believe, it is called the party trick, hence the title of this post. anyway, whatever is or was on the tape, i would be (fairly) sure that i have it across the many CD sets which have been issued over the years.

what else did i pick up? well, there was a U2 cd single. i think it was last night on earth, but i am not sure and don't really care, what i do care about is it is the one what has their covers of Pop Music and Happiness Is A Warm Gun on it. also i found a Beta Band single in cd form, of Human Being and two other splendid tracks. also a Beastie Boys one, Ch-Check Your Head, but i am not going down that "proper fan of Intergalactic" nonsense again, thanks.



so yes, of course i bought the box, even with the wrong tape in. the cover is quite smart, after all, and it is still a Frankie item. also, you never know, one of my Frankie fan brethren may have the tape but a knacked cover, under which circumstances they are quite welcome to this one.

how would i have felt if i picked up a Cliff Richard tape box and found a Frankie cassette inside? probably happy, but i do not see circumstances in which i would pick up a Cliff cassette.

right, anyway, that shall have to do. i need to be getting off and on doing things, shooting in the right direction, dreaming those dreams, scheming those schemes, and so forth.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Saturday, September 21, 2019

or we could have fun just grooving around

hello there


one more post, then, of our (most) recent london adventure. this, so far as i am aware, will be, look you see, the last such post about it, with the intention being to sort of wrap up the remaining straggling best of the (many) pictures what i have taken. or took.

for the most part i would think that this is one of those posts of interest only to friends and family around the world. but, that said, entirely curious and purely random strangers are most welcome here, so long as you are not strange, odd, weirdo types. well, not that of a bad way, i suppose. maybe you are someone that knows me, but for some reason prefer (mild) stalking here rather than speaking to me, which is as fine as it is understandable. anyway, on. oh.



yes, us on the tube. also yes, i will feature in a substantial number of these pictures, around 84% of them, statistic fans. best make this clear now, i guess, for there are some of you who have a curious interest in this blog yet care not to actually see me. curious, but i suppose you can make do with the fact that the 75% of my family you rate higher than me also feature significantly.

the tube, then. should, like us, you be not of london, or any major centre which still has public transport, it is a revelation. for us public transport amounts to a bus which runs but once an hour, monday to saturday, during daylight hours only, if the bus driver remembers to turn through our village. for londoners it is a distress if they miss one tube train, for they have to wait north of two minutes for the next. familiarity breeds complacency i suppose, but no excuse, i do wish londoners would appreciate how excellent it is and not see it as an evil means to an end.

alas, no, we didn't make it to the two tube stations that some of us wished to. for my part i long to return to tottenham court road, for it is the site of one of several iconic scenes in the most smart film an american werewolf in london. meanwhile, James wishes to go to cockfosters station, the reasons for which he has declined to share. perhaps on the next visit.



should, like us, your journey to london take you into the unfortunate realm of burning up time with the really ragged notion that the south african high commission might be efficient (competent) and relatively painlessly quick, then you will soon find that you have several hours of queuing ahead of you. if you are there with others, then they can hold the place in the queue as you stroll around and see nearby sites.

like, for instance, in the above picture i took a stroll to observe trafalagar square and the column of nelson. the latter is sometimes referred to as nelson's column. both are correct. what is it? mostly a statue of admiral nelson. indeed, yes, the statue is placed so that nelson is looking down and in the direction of (towards?) the cape of trafalgar in spain, where he twatted some french and spanish ships to give napoleon something to think about.

in advance of our travels to london we asked the boys what, if anything, they would find agreeable to do whilst there. to this end, William expressed an interest in seeing that downing street place. as it was rather close to the sa high commission, it was agreed to do so.



we did warn William that his ambition, to go up and knock on the door of 10 downing street and run away, so that the resident - boris johnson, i believe - would open the door and be disappointed that no one was there, was unlikely to succeed. he asked why this was, and we explained that due to one or two people (slightly) disagreeing with things spoken and action taken by residents of the address it was so that the coppers, or if you will the constabulary, generally encouraged people not to approach the front door. he was unsure if we were kidding about this, but soon understood that we spoke a truth when we got there.

briefly, yes, he did consider asking the quite well armed police if they might let him in so that he may knock on the door and run away. ultimately he did not, but in retrospect i believe that the officers might have let him do this, as they may well have found it just as amusing. although, at the time of our visit at the least, boris seemed rather busy, so in all probability he would not have actually answered the door himself as such.

a picture, or to use the correct terminology (parlance), of me (moi) by the sign for downing street? sure, why not, since we are here.



quite a few others were milling around, as you can see. well, i suppose it is a tourist attraction of sorts, if not a conventional or obvious one. my understanding is that earlier in the year there were many more hundreds, if not thousands, outside these gates. why? hoping to catch a glimpse of phillip hammond, i suspect, so that they may have said things such as "w@nker", or "tosser", or "toss face" or similar in his general direction. oh, yes, he is probably aware of being such, and more, but i would suspect he would have appreciated this all being reaffirmed for him.

since we were quite (or relatively) close to it, the thing to do after downing street seemed very much to be take a stroll past buckingham palace once more. and yes, the two are fairly close to each other (about a twenty minute walk or a ten minute stretched limo drive), which is handy for instances when the person living at a specific address in downing street needs to go and tell the lady living at buckingham palace that they are, as point of fact, moving out.



my dad was quite taken with the above image. no, not because i am in it, but rather due to the lighting. well, he does a lot of photography and that, so knows his stuff. any effects or appearances in the image are entirely incidental and accidental, but i will take the compliment.

a considerable amount of the lighting effect, i would argue, stems from them grey clouds you can see quite clearly in the sky. there was a formidable unleashing of rain not too long after this images was taken. which meant we did not linger too long to look at the palace once more, instead opting to take shelter and not get so wet. no, they don't open the gates and let the people into the palace when it is raining. although it is fun to tell tourists that this does indeed happen, in particular japanese ones.

what, you want a further image of me with Spiros, since we were down in the london way? sure, this can be done.



it was indeed a pleasure and delight to catch up with my chum. obviously we didn't get to spend as much time as we would have liked with him, what with his busy life of fighting taxi drivers and going off to meet men (frequently in uniform) to form brief but mutually beneficial friendships with in the confines of the last few remaining public lavatories london has to offer. yet we did get to do some things, like visit hammersmith, and watch some classics such as big lebowski and let's go to prison, again.

blimey, i have just had a look at exactly how many pictures i have uploaded here. a usual complaint or gripe of mine, i know, but then it is me who has to come up with the words to go around them.



on the walk, to go slightly non-linear or maybe non non-linear, between downing street and buckingham palace we took something of a shortcut. this is a shortcut which many a politician, prime minister and so forth has taken, you would think, as it takes one straight past the buildings of hm treasury, or where all of our money appears to go.

now i understand the punitive, excessive, out of proportion and decidedly unfair tax that they place on cigarettes here in the uk. it is done so they can maintain and service these dramatic, expensive buildings. by my reckoning, if they moved hm treasury to any of the many empty (derelict but serviceable) office buildings and commercial structures in, for example, hartlepool, they could cut significant costs and therefore reduce the tax burden on those of us what like the fags. of course they will not do this, for they like the london life.



indeed, me down by that thames river, a river which is easily in the top 25% of the top ten most popular rivers to service london. actually, it's probably number one.

the predominant purpose of the above, other that to showcase what the wind has chosen to do with my hair, is to give you a look at that there london eye thing. whereas it is an astonishing bit of design and engineering, i remain unconvinced that it is worth the effort to get on. other than the expense and the requirement to wait for north of three hours to get on, well, the view. a look across london off it would be nice, i suppose, but surely the bold, stark, beautiful architectural historical nature of the place is something better viewed from the ground? maybe that is just me.



and there we are in a quite lovely, very charming cafe place in regent's park. we were there by accident, being both hungry and wishing to keep out of the rain, having exhausted all other options whilst waiting for madame tussaud's to let us in. should you be looking for it, around the corner and a bit down from baker street, on that road what takes you down to where they do the cricket and that, at least they do when it is not raining.

why was i so impressed? they very nearly served us all the food that we ordered, and did indeed bring all when we politely asked. also, the pricing was quite close to real world pricing, and not the excessive "london weighting" prices added virtually everywhere else. down in that there london, look you see, they don't believe in charging anything below double digits for anything. also, the food, in particular the "flatbread" pizzas, were sensational. stunning, perhaps.

if for some reason you are looking for visitor (tourist) advice for london, there is some simple yet vital information for you. money. plan a budget, then take 50% more than that, expect to spend it all and have extra in reserve. wherever possible, eat at well known branded chain places, be it McDonald's, Subway or KFC. they are the only places where the prices remain relatively close to what you would pay for like for like meals in the rest of the uk. oh, and get one of them "london visitor" oyster cards, too, for as nice as the tube is, it will bankrupt you without that capped card thing.



another selfie, then, but i suspect you might have worked that out. indeed, yes, down in westminster once again, with the sight or if you like site of big ben and the palace of westminster in the background.

no, we did not go in to the palace of westminster - where one will find the house of commons and other such stuff - because if you turn up it costs a fortune. despite us taxpayers funding the place. which does mean that we should be able to get in free, and actually you can. if you write to your local mp before you go, and advise them of the dates you will be there, they are obliged to arrange a free tour for you. well, if i remember what i read online correctly.

yes, i suppose some or most of the last paragraph is also tourist or visitor advice. at a push i would say you could just write to "mr fixer", jacob rees-mogg, he of the thug life, and he will arrange free entry for you. nice chap, he seems to be, and i dare say most agreeable to assisting all.



back in regent's park, then, and a rather splendid playpark sort of thing that the boys found. yes, all in or on the playground was very wet indeed due to the rain, but as you can only get wet the once off they went to play for a bit.

just a final bit of tourist like visitor advice - yes, you can go and do "free" stuff in london and have a perfectly agreeable time. one does not (at this stage) have to pay an admittance fee for the roads and streets by famous buildings, or the parks, or the museums. i would make sure you have that visitor oyster card, though, for the bus and tube to get to them all.

one more picture? yes, ok.



now, as you might suspect or indeed expect, various non-disclosure agreements and confidentiality contracts mean i can neither confirm nor deny that i am occasionally invited to be a guest professor at  the above institute. or if you like college. this picture is quite handy to have close by, as if anyone should call me a certain crude and rather crass word, i could always just show them this and say "yes, a royal one".

phew. that would be just about all of most of the more interesting elements of our london adventure covered in a few posts then. as indicated above, for family and friends across the planet (around, even), hope you've enjoyed the updates on how we all are and what we are doing!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Friday, September 20, 2019

day of release? why not

howdy pop pickers


once again the pressures of different things to do and the limitations of time to do them in strikes, look you see. but yes, on the day today, which is the date this was published i was, with the support and help of a good friend, able to go right ahead and do one of those "day of release" things that i for some reason love. and why not.

this would be one of them "prelude" things, then, as i have yet to hear the album. unlike the Serge out of Kasabian prelude, there is no debate here - i shall very much be listening soon. it is so that this day of release concerns the 2nd solo album by Liam Gallagher, Why Me? Why Not!. for those who count, this would also be the fourth post-Oasis album by the chap. in this day and age, four albums in ten years is rather good going.



of course it was HMV for this day of release. and it was a delight, i have to say, to see that HMV had elected not to f*** around with a "multi sale" poster. no, this is a Liam Gallagher album, for which the ego and the event require just him, no more, no less.

the previous solo album, As You Were, in many respects vindicated me. in the first week there was something like 100,000 actual sales, as is people went and bought the record (or CD) and didn't just "stream" it to give quasi mock frankly fake "sales" figures. if you interest, inspire, excite and motivate the people, then yes, they will return to the joy, the pleasure, the aesthetic beauty of actually owning music in a physical format.

it does sometimes feel that Liam is all alone at the moment in flying this particular flag. oh, undoubtedly there are "as" or "more" talented, even more exciting (or at least equal) rock or other form of music acts out there. we have stripped all filters, however, so whilst they roam out there in all likelihood no record label is going to take the chance to full tilt promote them as they would the guaranteed gold that is this record.



yes, a few formats there. well, two that are four. a standard CD, a deluxe CD, the vinyl of the album and a picture disc vinyl of the album. which one, or let us be honest here ones, did i buy? let me save that for an actual proper post when i play the record.

it was a superb experience. the chap behind the counter was quite astonished at the day so far, for they had sold many, many copies of the record. something of a sense of how it used to be, then, when music really mattered, when you felt so passionate that nothing short of holding the disc or tape was enough. a bloke there at the same time as me was buying the exact versions i was. only he was clearly more of a proper fan, for he was at a shop getting a different version of it at 6am, had played it for 5 or so (maybe 6) (or 8) hours, then decided no, i must go and get more versions of this album. nice one, sounds like something splendid awaits my ears.

right, a "proper" (or as close as i get) post on the record soon-ish, after i have actually played it and found a gap to compose. for now, then, long live music how it was meant to be heard, apparently.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Thursday, September 19, 2019

return to rik

hi


more of our recent(ish) adventure in london, look you see. and a return to somewhere that is phenomenally dear to my heart, just as it is to millions of fellow fans around the world. indeed, as the title gives every indication, i was once more able to go and pay my most fondest of respects at the bench dedicated to the fond memory of The Rik Mayall.



this was the first time in just north of four years that chance had permitted me to go again. yes, indeed, if you click on the four years words in a different colour in the previous sentence, you will be whisked away to 2016 for my first ever visit to the place.

as you may note, gone now are the many, many gestures of love and goodwill previously left at the site. none, perhaps, are as missed quite so much as the massive pair of underpants, but all were very special to see. it was inevitable, for such is the way of the world and life on it, that the tributes would eventually cease, but at the least the magnificent plaque remains.



indeed, aye, to be sure, that is very much my (considerably) better half, nonchalantly enjoying some (expensive) london coffee as she makes her first pilgrimage to the Rik Mayall memorial bench. she was kind of curious as to why i always wished to stop at Hammersmith tube station, but to be fair she is also a fan of His Greatness. well, who isn't?

my favourite Rik work? sadly to be topical, not (p)Rik out of The Young Ones, as much as i love that. no, for me, he is forever Colin Grigson, king of the bass. closely followed by (Sir) Richard Richard, gynaecologist extraordinaire, out of Bottom and the masterpiece of cinema which is Guest House Paradiso. further, his unassuming, modest and quite understated autobiography, Bigger Than Hitler, Better Than Christ, is quite likely the greatest work of literature ever produced.



not really all that Rik related, but i do appreciate that there is a finite number of images of me you are prepared to tolerate in one post. many consider that them peculiar people down in "that there london place" think, see and view things quite differently from the rest of the (real) world. above is proof, perhaps? i am certain that there are many reasons for the show Love Island being popular, with all of them being related to the promise of nudies. but no, for the people of london, apparently the show is popular only because of the cost of opera tickets these days. go figure.

for those of you with very specific and (quite) peculiar tastes, how about a selfie of me in Hammersmith, with another iconic landmark of this wonderful place in view?



yes, indeed, that is the Hammersmith Apollo behind me. better known, of course, as the Hammersmith Odeon. it is a venue i have never had the pleasure of seeing a gig at as such, but i am quite aware of the legendary gigs which have happened there. the best known, perhaps, was the last ever Ziggy Stardust gig by David Bowie, immortalised in the motion picture, erm, Ziggy Stardust The Motion Picture.

regular readers will be wondering if our recent adventures in london led to a meeting with that most celebrated and treasured of its residents, Spiros of London. indeed it did, and yes, he agreed to take a moment from his busy schedule of fighting black cab drivers to attend the Rik Mayall Memorial Bench with us.



nice one, i am sure you will all agree. well, maybe not all. but all of you who are enthusiastic followers of Spiros and his wonderful adventures, probably.

right, well, anyway, that would be about that. sorry if the writing here is a bit duller than usual, or even more duller than usual, but i figured that just the one pic of the plaque on the Memorial Bench would be the point of sole interest anyhow. and why not.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Tuesday, September 17, 2019

done day of release

howdy pop pickers


well, here we are. close to three weeks after it happened, look you see, one of them "day of release" posts what used to be quite the norm here. there has been a decided lack of interesting releases and, for numerous reasons, an inability to get to HMV for this sort of things, alas. but, we are here now.

this may or may not be interesting, or of interest - it was a day of release that i had absolutely no idea if i would engage in. having not heard a single beat from the record and being somewhat dubious about how it may sound, i was steadfastly undecided on whether or not i had any interest in The S.L.P., better known as "some sort of solo project by Serge out of Kasabian".

events, time and displacement, however, placed me within a few steps of HMV on the day of release. on the off chance that this came to be due to a game of dice by the gods of vibes, i felt it best to go right ahead and buy it.



for those in a rush, yet are still reading this and for some reason didn't just go and look elsewhere for information on The S.L.P., is this record worth getting? yes. it's interesting, and for the most part sounds really, really cool. overall, it is nowhere near as Nigel Tufnel as one might have feared, and nor is it quite as indulgent as, say, that time they let all four members of Kiss do a solo record, or for that matter that thing one record label did when they felt that a Nicky Wire out of the Manics solo album was release worthy.

a sort of caveat for the above would be that any enjoyment of this record is really, really helped by the fact that you are a Kasabian fan. which, in fairness, would probably mean that you have already bought the album anyhow. oh.

more details and information? sure. that's what the rest of this shall all be, for those interested, along with my adventure in purchasing.



that's the window display in HMV for the day of release, then. as you may well have noted, no sign of Serge out of Kasabian, or The S.L.P., which had me thinking maybe i had my dates wrong. something similar happened with the most recent of Kasabian releases, For Crying Out Loud (2017), when i nearly went a week early for it.

whereas i am a Kasabian fan, and all Kasabian releases are done on autopilot, by no means are all "Kasabian related" releases afforded such status. there are some bands which are, like for instance The Who, Frankie, Stone Roses and a couple of others, but not Kasabian. mostly this is down to the fact that, as class as the music of Kasabian is, all the members of the group strike me as being either boring b@stards or unable to sing, or in the case of the lead singer, both at once.

Serge, at concerts and what have you, has gone to extreme and exceptional lengths to prove to all and sundry that whilst he is quite class and interesting, he cannot sing. the only reason, i presume, that the flat, nasal and dull singer in Kasabian is the singer in Kasabian is that he is a good mate of Serge and/or the rest of the band, and that in fairness he is a better singer than Serge. but, i fancy, so am i.



indeed, that is The S.L.P. on display in HMV. to my shame, and perhaps getting old, i glanced at the new releases and could not find it. eventually, with the limited time that i had available, i gave up, and asked a gentleman member of staff at HMV if it was indeed the case that Serge out of Kasabian had a record out today. well, better to be safe, recalling the debacle with Ian Brown's release of Ripples earlier this year, where if you didn't buy it off his website in advance you weren't going to go into a shop and be able to find it.

to make this oddly, by my standards, non non-linear, a reference to Ian Brown here invites some speculation. many took the release of Ripples (or maybe the first solo single, First World Problems) to be confirmation of the (most recent) end of The Stone Roses. is the same true here, with The S.L.P. signalling that Kasabian are no more? doubt it. one really doesn't see Serge functioning outside of a band. this probably just something of a diversion for the lad, whilst he waits for the rest of the band to "be ready". should i recall correctly, the rather dull lead singer couldn't quite handle some of the basics of the rock and roll life, and so a number of gigs (at least one) had to be "postponed" due to an unspecified thing seeming to "disagree" with him.

much, if not as point of fact all, of the album has a general Kasabian feel to it, except perhaps edging in the direction of more atmospheric, trippy funky Kasabian than the hard rock side of Kasabian. a loud and clear message from this album - whether intended or accidental - is the confirmation that Serge is very much the brains, the heart and the soul of all which make Kasabian quite smart.



based on his look and playing style you'd think you are right to assume he would be heavily influenced by the many great guitarists of the late 60s and most of the 70s. true, perhaps, but as hinted at above, the greatest influence on Serge appears to be the atmospheric creations of 70s soundtracks. listening to the record evokes the feel of key, darker westerns, of them peculiar and often violent 70s and 80s Italian gangster / crime films, and any number of obscure 70s British films, featuring the likes of Michael Caine or Oliver Reed, which are dark and brooding and usually involve the lead actor punching someone in the face.

earlier on, and more than once, i have mentioned that the biggest challenge appears to have is that he cannot really sing, and would seem incapable of selecting someone who can to work with him. the dull singer in Kasabian appears not to be a fluke or accident going on the absolute worst song here, the dull, tedious and monotonous Favourites, which features someone called Little Simz, who cannot sing either. a really, really good idea would have been to release this in an instrumental form, but there you go, done now.

am i sure that The S.L.P. is worth getting? yes. if nothing else, you have to remember that Billy Bragg hates Kasabian, probably out of some understandable jealousy due to the fact that people actually like their records. more than once he has managed to milk and interview somewhere and appear relevant simply by having a go at them. you would have to think that buying absolutely anything related to Kasabian is something that would distress Billy Bragg, so not a penny of what i paid do i begrudge.



that's the other window display at HMV. now that i look at it, and now that i know what the cover actually looks like, yes, they kind of did indeed have The S.L.P. on display, then.

i have missed out on writing anything about a couple of other 2019 releases that i managed to get. one of them is Daltrey's "orchestral" recording of Tommy, whereas the other is the Morrissey solo album that is a bunch of covers. will get to them eventually, as well as the perversity that was Noel Gallagher unexpectedly doing a decent song again in the form of Black Star Dancing, which i have the 12" picture disc of.

not entirely unrelated to the latter, by the time this is all published on this blog Liam Gallagher's 2nd solo album should also be a thing. so, yes, will be off for that one too.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





Sunday, September 15, 2019

the fumes of love

hello there


just another one of them random observations from my travels, look you see. been around and seen a lot to shake me anyhow, indeed. as some (some) of you seem to quite like these most casual of spottings, i figured why not break up the sequence of london adventure related posts with a bit of a gander.

those of you who (infrequently but still) frequently read all of this, well, whatever it is i post here shall be quite aware that recently i was required, or had a requirement, to do business with an exhaust mender. let there be no element of doubt that i was most pleased with the results of this mending. but it now feels akin to being quite a missed opportunity.

surely, you think, an exhaust is what it is, and that if it is attached and functioning as it should then there can be no element of doubt or decision about it? on an entirely, or strictly, practical level, then yes, that is so. until, at the least, i stumbled on the hidden world of aesthetic exhausts.



indeed i do have every confidence that you can see very clearly what i am talking about in the above. very clearly indeed, thanks to the eternal magic of Commodore 64 mode images. but, if you want (for some reason) a different, sort of more regular image of that which i speak, such is below.

no, prior to this i had not really every considered the shape of an exhaust. i have always accepted that they are either round, or oval in some instances shape, with the understanding that them what make it long ago worked out that this was the optimal design for them.

but, knowing now what i did not know then, surely, yes, i would most certainly be interested in a different, non-conventional shaped exhaust. not that i am expecting my most recently bought one to require a replacement any time soon.



and there it is. quite a spiffing, lovely, aesthetically pleasing heart shaped one. no, alas, i did not see the car it was attached to in action, so i am unaware if it kicks out petrol (or diesel) fumes in a lovely heart shape. i would , however, like to think that yes, it very much does. well, if pollution is happening anyway, why not make such as stylish as one can?

the heart shaped exhaust is probably not something many car makers offer as a standard. i know for a fact that it is not an item car, or specifically exhaust, menders have to hand in any great number, as i was not offered one when i recently had need for such. normally this would mean such an item comes at a premium, which is to say would cost more than is standard. me ever getting one would probably depend, a great deal, on exactly how much more than standard.

hang on, i have just done a google thing and it turns out they are quite cheap. let me get one ordered, then, along with some welding gear, and work out how to do this.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Friday, September 13, 2019

coats of many colours

heya


we are living in unprecedented, unusual and generally miserable times, look you see. to qualify that, yes, to be sure, i mean that with reference most specifically to those of us within a dying breed, or if you like smokers. many are the trials and tribulations that we face, with ever increasing pressure on us for some reason to stop, or to be made to feel as though we are doing something wrong.

of the many ridiculous challenges faced it would be fair to say that the most overt is the needless interference with packaging. beautiful styles and colours for cigarette packets have forcefully been removed, with bland, all the same stuff across all brands. this is something which has not gone as well as those who instigated it had presumably hoped, but that is not really the point here. closely related, mind.

a particularly pleasing aspect of being a smoker is, or perhaps partially was, the splendid variation in designs and patterns on cigarette lighters. different styles have all gone now, with lighters being presented in plain, bland colours. at least this has been the case down at the leading provider of fag lighters, namely Poundland.



it was with some merriment and delight, then, that i found a shop still prepared to sell the more rather attractive and interesting style of lighter. a place called B & M had these proudly on display, and i had no hesitation in purchasing them. they just make the fine art of smoking a bit more pleasure delivering and decidedly aesthetically pleasing.

this post isn't particularly interesting, is it? well, i would say that of all my posts, with an interesting dichotomy being the less of interest i find something then the more some of you out there would appear to like it. let me press on then, on the off chance that such is true here.

removing intricately pattered lighters has probably been another psychological attempt to encourage people to either quit or cut down considerably on smoking decisions. i am not sure why they do this. as explored recently, one thing they have done is made heroin cheaper than cigarettes, and i remain unconvinced that heroin is any better than fags.



yeah, go on then, another look at the bland, "warning" dominated packaging we have to endure on cigarettes now, and have done for some 2 or maybe 3 years. the above is the most ridiculous of these, featuring as it does a child smoking, with the child very blatantly and badly manipulated or "photoshopped" so that it looks like incumbent USSR Tzar Vladimir Putin.

there are of course even more baffling elements to all these warning pictures which are being used. for a start, and i am still unsure as to how the media has not picked up on this one, everyone featured on the warning pictures are white, or if you like caucasian. do they not wish to warn anyone of other ethnic origins? of those people who do feature, few, if any, of them seem to have suffered any of their ills because of cigarettes. rather infamously, the chap who is shown to have apparently lost a leg due to his love of smoking has since come forward, saying he has never ever tasted the tobacco in his life.

yes, but anyway, smoking is bad, etc. although we are here for entirely different reasons, so let us refocus and admire the six colourful lighters what i was able to get for the rather reasonable sum of £1.29. which, i believe you will find, comes out at a most agreeable 21.5p each, although of course the half penny is a measurement of money we opted to let go of in the 80s.



which of these shall i be using first? i have not determined this. common sense suggests, for an orderly life, i either simply go from left to right or vice versa (which is to say right to left), but i don't know so much. the middle four look the most exciting, don't they? or perhaps that is just me.

anyway, i suppose that's all of that really. i guess this is just me being glad that someone still cares enough for smokers to design and manufacture lighters of attractive interest.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!