hey there
it is not uncommon, look you see, for people to ask me (as in, pose) a question which they feel that no one else can answer, or otherwise dare not speak of to anyone else. this is rather flattering, of course, and as flattery will get you everywhere i am always happy to oblige with an answer. or, at the least, provide what information i can.
let us assume that this is what happened in respect of this post. yes, it would be more polite and civil to merrily go along with the idea that someone asked me to establish which is the best, most picturesque and predominantly rural road to get hopelessly and woefully stuck on in North Yorkshire. this sounds considerably better than any such reality in which i decided to allow blind devotion to a previously treacherous sat nav outweigh ideals of common sense.
this would be an unusual question to be posed to me (anonymously, of course), but posed it was, kind of. i set off to find an answer, and it very much is the case that the answer is the imaginatively named Pluntrain Dale Lane, located on or in the hotly contested area on the outskirts of Pickering.
thank you google |
exactly how i came to stumble on this hidden gem (and subsequently be stuck there for a while) is a little bit of a curious mystery. in respect of where i was going, the A to B of it, i was unable to determine any rational reason why my sat nav sent me the way it did. but, it did, and i followed it. when it instructed me to turn right and then then immediately left onto Pluntrain Dale Lane, i thought wow, that is an unusual street name. quite soon after that, on seeing it, i thought wow, this does not really look like a conventional road.
but still i turned down it. many a quaint and non-traditional "road" i have travelled in my time, for verk, and this did not look so different. for a start, there were no sheep or similar livestock, it was not on a tank testing range, and there was no sign of the RAF. so, i drove down this road, or if you like lane.
mostly, i would say, this all went rather well. perhaps not "well" as such, but fine. if, that is, fine is closer to "maybe not so good" than well is as a description of it all. we, which is to say my vehicle and i, got roughly (in retrospect) half way down Pluntrain Dale Lane (that sort of "corner dent" in the middle on the map above) when half of we, which would be the van, more or less (ipso facto) said something along the lines of "f*** this" (in vehicle stuck speak) and would move no more. no, not one of my (in)famous breakdowns, but rather "we" had dropped into a significant muddy water sticky area that made traction (if that means movement) not at all possible. oh, bother.
just as i was beginning to suspect that i had taken a sufficient number of selfies, and was wondering if i would be called upon to drink my own urine to survive, the second rescuer arrived, in one of them most splendid land rover things. yes, the ones that are meant for conditions such as i was in, but generally get used in more metropolitan areas, inexplicably so.
he (anonymous for security) was also a bit baffled, at first, as to how to get me (or rather the vehicle) out of where it was. further he was also, at first, most reluctant to refer to me as a complete bellend for getting stuck where and how i did, but i insisted and eventually he agreed. i asked if it was common for people to end up stuck here on Pluntrain Dale Lane and he said no, so far as he was aware over the last several years no one had ever attempted to drive down it. once again i asked the same question, and suggested that he may wish to lie or make something up to make me feel better. his second response was that up to five or six people a day get stuck where i was, so i should not feel bad. this made me feel better. after that he noted the pile of spent cigarettes and was concerned that i must have been stuck for several hours to have smoked so much. oh.
quite a daring, brave rescue in the end, then. the only way to do it, it was determined, was to do a "reverse" tow, as in he pulled up behind me (yet faced forward), hooked me up, he reversed and i had my vehicle in reverse to. of the dangers with this reverse driving, my vehicle ripping the chassis off of his and a bad turn or excess pull free seeing me smack right into his smart land rover were at the forefront. the single biggest problem, however, was that as i would be in reverse, the reversing warning sound would echo in my vehicle, and i was not able to hear the stereo properly.
we did it, then, and after somewhere north or south of three (or so) hours, i was free. and promptly vowed to stick to far more conventional, standard, tarmac and concrete in nature roads. my thanks to those who came to my rescue, my appreciation to those who sent messages of support, concern or amusement through it all.
anyway, i think that just about covers the major (and secondary) aspects of this adventure. by all means, if you feel so inclined, feel free to seek out Pluntrain Dale Lane and get stuck there too. i would suggest, however, that you rather simply take my word for it and accept that all you really need to know of the place is knowledge contained above.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment