cruise control

hi there

to state the obvious, there were many, many victims of the invisible war against the new plague last year. with that year being 2020, look you see, on the off chance someone (anyone) is reading this well north beyond the borders of the current year, 2021. 

if asked to name any of these victims, some are fairly obvious, and universally acknowledge. one which might not strike as immediate is, of course, all of them what invested rather heavily in (Greta upsetting) predominantly plastic based items of merchandise licenced for (from) films what didn't end up getting released. or, released as they should have been. but mostly not released. 

generally, if not strictly, speaking, basically every film gets some sort of merchandising release. or "merch" as these you-tube people seem to call it, acting as they do like they invented the concept. which they did not. this is whether the film warrants merchandising as such, and irrespective of the, as the kids call it, "merch", is actually relevant to the film. 

just before Christmas, then, i saw the above rather opportunistically, and optimistically, on the shelf down at Tesco. yes, as you can see, a deluxe set off of Matchbox (for Americans, a bit like Hot Wheels, but done proper) featuring a fighter jet and an aircraft carrier, endorsed by or licenced from a film what was supposed to be out in 2020, Top Gun Maverick, or simply Top Gun 2. 

rather interesting that this was stored, displayed or marketed (or what have you) in the toy section. this, to my mind, implies that it was aimed at kids. not really sure about that. for a start, the original film wasn't really made with that market in mind, and didn't take off across a younger generation, so to speak. 

my assumption, and i think this is a fair one, is that the demographic target market for any and all attempts at marketing "merch" for Top Gun 2 is pretty much me. which is to say, north of 40 years old gents who recall the original film from the 80s and for some reason wish to see a sequel to it. perhaps they have placed this in the "gifts for him" section, also known as "that will do for Dad, i guess". 

yes, certainly i was tempted by it. and then i was immediately not tempted by it, going on the price. as smart as it looked, indeed looks, it is a bloody big thing that would just sit in mine (or anyone's) house, effectively just taking up space. make no mistake, and believe you me i have ventured into such purchases before, but not to the tune of £30. well, not often. 

despite the price being a big, massive barrier to ever seriously considering purchasing this, ultimately the biggest issue, or if you like problem, is the aspect of the so-called Top Gun "expanded universe" what they have gone with for marketing. why, of all the aspects of the original film, would someone hone (or home) in on the aircraft carrier and fighter jet aspect? this was all an incredibly limited part of the actual film, and not certainly wasn't why it was either a big hit or has endured with popularity. 

mostly, it was the scene above which saw Top Gun reign supreme at the box office, and had people going to watch the film again and again. men being men in the presence of other men, with the most splendid euphemism of "fighter weapons school" being on such proud display, was what we all thought was excellent. i can sit and watch that locker room scene all day, every day, on repeat, to be sure 

and, also, yes, there was (or is) that second most important scene what saw Top Gun become the big massive hit that it was or is. 

of course, the legendary, famous and celebrated "volleyball" scene. watching it again recently revealed that it is nowhere near as homoerotic as one might remember it as being. but, or and yet, what it actually is remains the single most brazen homoerotic thing ever put in a major motion picture, it's just not as lurid as i might have recalled it as being. 

either of the above scenes - and sometimes both at the same time - are by some distance of more relevance, and remembered with a good deal of fondness, by Top Gun fans. surely it would have been wiser, and more successful, for them to have embraced this for a toy? i get that the volleyball one might have been a bit messy with sand, and the locker room one might have led to some uncomfortable conversations at Christmas dinner, but still. 

unless, of course, the new film (Top Gun Maverick 2 or whatever) does not feature either volleyball or a really smart, enthusiastic locker room scene. if so, then the mind boggles as to why they have even made it and also they probably should not bother releasing it. 

going on the above (somewhat sad) scene i saw this week, regrettably it turned out that toys based on a sequel for a film north of 30 years old what didn't end up getting released were not very big sellers over Christmas. probably because we were all locked down and that, too, and no one has any money any more. also whatever a brexit is, as that seems to get blamed for everything anyway.  

no, in answer to your question despite the discount, or reduction, applied to or on the price being slightly north of 33%, it felt like £19 was still just too much for me to buy, even in my most autopilot frame of mind. for some sort of (unsolicited) guide to how my mind works in respect of such things, if it was down to £15 it would have been "maybe" and if it was down to £12 or of course £10 it would be sat here with me right now. 

shall Top Gun 2 Maverick, or the James Bond thing for that matter, actually get a release now, in this year which is 2021? i have no idea, and so i really hope you have not read all of this just to get that as an answer. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!