2 new again 25 ago

howdy pop pickers


just one of those quasi sort of short throwback things at random, look you see. so as to remember pop charts of years gone by, since there shall be none of consequence in the futures after they completely ruined the way they do the "singles" chart.

it was so that twenty five years ago today (being the date of publication for this) was 30 July 1995. this was a time of great mutual benefit to musicians and music fans. broadly, it was so that they still made music actually worth buying then, and so it was that people bought it. even if, as was the case on this specific date, there was a very good chance of having purchased it previously.

yes, that is indeed both New Order and Pet Shop Boys. both are most commonly associated with some of the greatest electronic based dance groove tunes to have been made in the 80s. also, though, they had some hits in the 90s with new stuff, and via successfully re-releasing songs. or, in the case of one of them, re-re-re-releasing a tune.

here we are, or here they were, then, at numbers 17 and 18 in the chart on this day (30 July 2020) some 25 years ago (1995). well, when i say some, on the day that this is shown for the first time on the internet, exactly. do bear in mind that they would have had to sell a great many actual, physical copies of each single (or signal) to get to these respective positions.

part of me wishes to, but in all honesty i cannot be bothered to google which variation of Blue Monday this was. the original came out in 1983, and there was a really awesome remixed version of it what came out in 1988. i think that there might have been one in-between 88 and 95, but also i could be mistaken and it was a re-imagining (or similar) of True Faith that they did so with. strictly speaking it matters not, for it (actually both songs mentioned) are smart.

whereas i really quite like Pet Shop Boys, this Paninaro was one that i never liked in any version. it just always struck me as dull and monotonous. that the boys came up with the lyrics "paninaro.....paninanro....wooahooo oh" for it suggests they may have found it rather tiresome, if not dull, too, yet some seemed to like it and went right ahead and paid for a copy.

right, well, that's that. no doubt there shall be more poptastic memories in the future, since the creation of new ones seems unlikely. no, i certainly did not purchase the Pet Shop Boys one, but i think i did the New Order one. which is why, maybe, it charted a bit higher.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more better reading

hi reader


and so i have read another couple of books, look you see. yes, two. not just one, and not as many as three, or five. well, not since the last time since what i gone done wrote something of this nature about books i happened to read. as if reading a novel in some way makes me special; no it does not, but it does kind of make me (to a degree) normal.

right, so yes, then, back on to it. with my part in the invisible war against the new plague now over, as in i have since been recalled to verk after valiantly doing my fighting best to stay home, reading time has now once more become limited. but, and still yet i read, for i love to do so.

tradition is a fine thing if it is a good, reasonably unassuming and not in any way displeasing one. in accordance with such, let me stick with it and present a look at the two (not just one and not three or north of that figure) novels which i read, with a spoiler free overview.

one natural concern with any (new) John Grisham novel is of whether it is going to be a good one, or will it be one of those, where he does things like talk about church picnics or Italian menus rather than develop a story. gladly i can tell you up front it is not one of those, rather The Guardians finds him on well above average form. slightly idyllic and simplified, of course, but this was a brilliant read. on a somewhat similar note, the usual frustrations and groan inducing "oh no not again" moments are all present in the latest Peter Robinson novel, yet despite, or because, of them it was so that Many Rivers To Cross was a thoroughly enjoyable read. one that in some ways very much relies on you reading (i think) the one just before it, the name of which escapes me but i have every confidence i reviewed (or whatever) it somewhere on this blog.

well, that's an overview of both novels, should you have any interest in what i might have thought of them. proceed with reading either, or the two of them, at will, should my endorsement count. following on from this point, then, is a bit more detail on each. details that might well require some to be alerted to a possible *** SPOILER WARNING *** being in place, no matter how much i loathe them capital letter things.

commencing where i started with these two, then, would be to first look at The Guardians by John Grisham. yes, i do have a pile of (say) a dozen novels i wish to read, but the arrival of this meant this went to the top, as i am always keen to read his latest.

provenance of my copy? well, on the week of release, it was that quasi, unofficial "book of the week" thing down at Tesco, so it was £3.50 i think, maybe even as low as £3. not for me to alert them to this, but had they asked (or requested) more, i would have paid without asking. this is not afforded to all writers. the most recent Tony Parsons, for instance, never appeared on the shelf (that i saw) for south of £4.50, so it never got bought. especially as the last two (or maybe it was just one) 'Max Wolfe' book(s) were somewhat "meh".

anyway, yes, the plot. the (ostensible) protagonist of the novel is Cullen Post, who is somewhat more rounded, or if you will fleshed out, than a traditional Grisham narrator, or indeed protagonist. he is both church minster and lawyer. after being scarred to the point of breakdown by the brutality of public defending, where the most sickening of guilty seem to walk free or with scant punishment for the sake of easing a legal system which creaks at the mention of thinking of functioning as it should, he eventually turned to being an innocence lawyer. his concentration is purely at the other end of the spectrum of all which is wrong with the system - defending those callously thrown into jail for years (decades) despite being patently innocent.

whilst a number of such cases are referenced,the story arc is of Quincy Miller. he is a man who has so far served 22 years for the murder of a small town lawyer. a murder which all available (actual) evidence suggested that Miller should not have even been questioned about, let alone charged and subsequently convicted. proving his innocence should be relatively straightforward, but those responsible for placing him in prison seem set to stop nowhere in their determination to see him very much remain convicted of that which he did not do......

i would have a hard time selecting my favourite favourite ever Grisham novel, although memory always says that reading Runaway Jury was particularly good. this one, The Guardians, felt just as absorbing, engaging and "readable" as any of his other, better than average works i could list. whether you have read none, all or somewhere between of his novels, this is one any of us could pick up, read and i hope enjoy. or appreciate.

should one wish to find flaws in the novel then they are there, and not really hidden. the reach, for instance, of the sinister forces who are the villains of the piece is fairly extensive. mindful of me giving you a spoiler warning, you would have thought they would know that the dead can appeal nothing, yet only seem to hit upon this as a (possible) solution to their wish to maintain the status quo on a conviction after a couple of decades. it's a contrived and implausible element, but what they hey, it creates something for the "thriller" aspect of it all.

for a novel to entertain, inform and protest in equal successful measures is quite a thing. that's exactly what The Guardians managed to do for me. regrettably, as is all too often the case, the shocking and appalling, "surely this cannot be so" miscarriages of justice depicted in the novel are very much based on real life instances. genuinely disturbing instances of 'fiction' are often so. when quizzed on the, to be frank, obscenities presented in American Psycho and asked of how twisted his mind was, Bret Easton Ellis said he didn't think of a single action taken by the protagonist of the novel, all of them were pulled (or culled) from real life crime reports.

away from the folly, the many flaws and faults of the American judicial system, then, and on to what is seemingly perpetually presented as the simple, basic English one in the most recent Peter Robinson novel to come out in paperback, the not immediately making sense titled Many Rivers To Cross.

what's the provenance of my copy of this novel? as it happens, a much appreciated Father's Day gift, for that particular day came along here in the UK in June, as it is so prone to do. but still, i am reliably aware of it being initially sold for a fee, once more, of £3.50 down at Tesco.

plot? let me try this. in theory the main plot seems to be that of a young lad, of Middle East or similar region, found dead and stuffed in the bin of a presumably innocent pensioner. a junkie is found dead of an overdose in a house not too far away from this scene, apparently an open and shut case of overdose. they don't seem to be connected in any way, but could they be? in the mean time (let me try and get this the right way around) the novel Mr Robinson seems more bothered (or interested) in writing is that of the girlfriend of one of protagonist copper Banks' colleagues father (think that is right) who has special "super spotter" powers and was a victim of people trafficking, is pursuing a vengeance vendetta against an unsavory type who did her immense harm and was probably involved in a recent murder of someone she worked for. which is a continuation, as mentioned, of the last novel. and yes, it seems one needs to make sure they read the next one to get the conclusion, or a movement to that.

if, or should, the above sound particularly busy, and apparently a great deal to cram into a novel south of 400 pages, well, it is and it isn't. there is a magic formula for these DCI (or whatever current rank) Banks novels which Robinson has, and uses. this would be the following sequence - crime (or multiple) committed, couple of people questioned, Banks a bit puzzled, Banks sits in the pub to have a think, Banks considers the music he likes, Banks sits in the pub a bit more, towards the end someone (normally one of the first to be question) either makes a clanger which makes them clearly guilty, or simply hands themselves in for no apparent reason, since the police were not close to catching them. all contrived and convenient. Many Rivers To Cross kind of plays around with that order, but the result is very much the same.

there are some variations here. Robinson uses the novel, for instance, to project that very tiresome, downcast and boring stereotype that all of the UK people are evil and doomed to die "because of Brexit", with particular time taken to describe near enough everyone who happens to be British as being racist, whether they know it or act that way or not. also, briefly, a finger points at a construction company owner, who turns out to be very shady, sinister and a sexual deviant. oh no, here we go again, i thought, more of the same from one of the last novels i read. no idea why authors have now seemed to have decided that construction business owners are the personification of evil baddies, but here we are.

a (very) good friend recently quizzed me on the subject of reading Peter Robinson novels. not took me to task, you understand, but did wish to know why i did so, since for the most part i appeared to just moan and groan about the pedestrian predictability of them. well, yes, there is that, but there's great comfort in familiarity, and as always this novel like others by him turn out to be so well written there is genuine pleasure in reading. that and wishing to know the conclusion of the long(ish) running secondary story should see me pick up his next one, then.

much delight there is in the fact that i can thoroughly (and indeed wholeheartedly) recommend a novel with zero conditions on reading any other in a series, or sequence. that is what i can do with The Guardians. should you have never read a Grisham novel before, then this is a fine one to start off with, and enjoy the rest. there is no real issue or quarrel with the Peter Robinson one, bar the contextual moments mentioned, but again getting any enjoyment (or satisfaction) from it kind of depends on you having read at least some of the earlier ones, and the one immediately preceding this one. if that describes you, well then it might be that you read Many Rivers To Cross already.

anyway, that's that. on i go with further (rather than previous) reading. many thanks indeed for taking the time to read this, if you did, and if it was of any use, well that's quite class, that is.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cuban connection

hola a todos


it is so that a small number of people (of the person variation) have my phone number. this is really more by default than design, look you see, for there are not all that many who would have an interest in such knowledge. of that number who have such information, a significantly low number of people who could do so ever actually use it. well, for what reason would one wish to have speaks with me.

the above is not written to provoke some pandering to poor, poor, pitiful me, or even so that i may sail (or surf) on a wave of sorrow. no, rather it is to set a scene. and that scene is the general level of surprise when my phone rings, beeps, vibrates or does anything what one could consider indicative of someone deciding to reach me via it.

every now and then it is a all off of a chum, which is most splendid. most predominantly, though, it would be the usual junk what blemishes my phone - calls about some sort of car accident, or insurance, or similar. recently, however, what i think is a change to that type of call came through to my phone. sadly, or alas, as you can see, i failed to answer it.

yes, it was indeed so that i got distracted, or momentarily hypnotised, by the peculiar (to me) looking telephone number. i had not, so far as i could recall, ever encountered the +53 dialling code before, so wondered where in the world this call was either from, or pretending to be from, for i believe it is so that one can adjust various settings on a phone or computer (or computer phone) to make it seem like any call made is coming from anywhere you care to state. 

normally, or usually, yes i would obscure the number on any dodgy call or text what i got. all bets in that regard are, alas, well and truly off now, after that incident. the one where someone hacked all that twitter sh!t and made out that the likes of Barack Obama and that Elton Musky were promoting some sort of "crypto currency" that could double your money. people fell for that, with many hundreds of thousands of dollars. for what reason does anyone still use that twitter sh!t? so far as i can see all it does is make people momentarily angry for no good reason yet has long term consequences, gets people into trouble and often fired from verk, or cons people. just bin it. when it came out yes it was mildly interesting to learn of when Stephen Fry was having a cup of tea, but the novelty of that long since wore off, and nothing at all good comes from the wretched thing. 

getting somewhat back to the point (if there is one), some deft, rudimentary google work established that the mythical +53 code on a phone number is the international code for no less than Cuba, dear read. yes indeed that Cuba. one that i don't really have any sort of connection with, bar youthful studies of the decidedly Argentinian Che Guevara, the fact that the Manics did a gig there, my mate Mike once giving us a cigar off of there (most splendid it was) and watching Godfather II. 

thanks for the use of the picture

consequentially, or ergo, i would have no idea at all as to who would be wanting to call me in general, but even less so in respect of it being someone off of Cuba. i mean, yes, sure, it is remotely possible that it was a call off of the administration of whichever Castro is presently in power, sounding me out for a minor governmental role, but i would have thought they would have written a letter, or some other such formal correspondence (letter on a letterhead, for instance), to communicate such an ambition.

a high probability suggests that the call originated from somewhere with rather flexible, open to interpretation laws regarding using phones for scams. not necessarily Russia, for it could easily be from India, or one of them countries near Russia that Putin probably sees as his anyway. i am also reasonably sure that the idea is for me to call back, and find me spending several hundred, or thousand, of coins of money on a premium line number.

but still, i shall rather just take it as a given that this is some sort of friend, admirer or indeed even connection of mine in Cuba, who has gone to some great trouble to try and have speaks with me. regrettably yes, i disappointed them by not answering the phone in good time, but perhaps they shall phone back. life feels that little less lonely and isolated with such being the case.





¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡sean excelentes los unos con los otros!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

trolley return

hey there


everyone is, by now, i am confident, quite sick of terms such as "back to normal" or "the new normal" being expressed as defining our lives in the aftermath of the invisible war on the new plague. people saying such are becoming as grating and as sigh inducing as those who use the phrase "unprecedented" to describe all that is going on, look you see. so, i shall do all that i can to refrain from using them in any capacity beyond this opening paragraph. if, indeed, it is a paragraph, which i am pretty sure that it is.

a thing that all of us have, surely, missed is the sight of shopping trolleys (which might be trollies) left abandoned and discarded at various sites around the country. certainly, the high readership posts such as this one and this one and this one and also this one have attracted says i am not alone in either thinking this or being bored enough to give it consideration.

with a significant (elevated) number of people once again being out and about in the world, all doing their thing, there has been a most welcome return to seeing shopping trolleys (or trollies) being left all over the place. yes, there are indeed some images of such here for you, taken relatively recently, post lockdown, if we are indeed in the post phase or stage.

there you go, three shiny, sterilised and ready to use trolleys, all parked up by a rudimentary, somewhat conventional bus stop type of structure.

one cannot help but wonder as to how all three ended up where they were spotted. was it, i wonder, or indeed speculate, if it was so that one person simply dumped theirs there and others that followed assumed (or took it as a given) that it was a dedicated place for them to be left. or maybe it was so that three people arrived all at the same time with the trollies (trolleys), took their shopping with them on to the bus they were presumably there to catch and just left them there. maybe they wished to take the trolleys (trollies) on to the bus with them too, but the bus driver was having none of it.

i can take no credit for the picture above. my part has been merely to publish it here, so that all may see the welcome return of a shopping trolley or two (three) left abandoned out in the world. no, rather, it was Codename Magic who brought such splendid visual to us.

should it be so that the above does not "work" in a moving, motion, video type of way, well, i have added it as a more conventional video file below.

let me not repeat what i have said before on the value (and importance) of the rudimentary, conventional shopping trolley to our economy. all of them links above contain the details, if you are so interested. but, to recap, more people out and about taking trollies (trolleys) generously provided by the highly profitable supermarkets means that the scrapyard sector shall surely get a really good, thumping kickstart.

have i, personally (as in myself) seen any shopping trolleys (trollies) on my travels, now that i am once again free to roam the land? why, yes i have. but, for some reasons (and only one of those was that i was not actively looking for such), i quite nearly missed one.

the discrete (discreet?) placing of this one probably has everything to do with the area what i was in when i spotted this one. just a glance at the unobtrusive and unassuming locale tells you i was somewhere posh and sophisticated. so, yes, for those of you who guessed that this was a very Richmond way to display a recently obtained shopping trolley, that was where i was. of course, i speak of proper Richmond, as in the one in Yorkshire, and not the fake, crass and questionable one they have down in that London place.

now that trolleys (trollies) are back out and about, freely available for collection, how soon is it that we will experience the economic benefits? i am not sure. sadly, or alas, i am not on good strong relationship terms with anywhere near as many scrap metal merchants as i would either like to be, or had imagined that i would be by this stage of my life. so i have no idea if they are all "coronavirus precautions" upped yet, or if they are taking in trollies (trolleys) or how much they might be paying for them.

but, let us not be negative. as interesting as the relatively recent experiment with trading in cones instead of shopping trolleys (trollies) has been, i have every confidence that money shall soon flow freely in the economy due to the generosity of so many supermarkets making so many of these trolleys so widely available. except Tesco, who still want you to pay £1 for one of them. which is in fairness good value, but not quite so good a free.

just that video of Codename Magic above, in a slightly different format, in the hope that in one instance the animation or moving element of it all works. no, so far as i am aware Codename Magic is not an active "player" in the shopping trolley market. as a gentleman of some considerable wealth, i really do not believe he has any need for such a low yield economic activity. but, like many of us, maybe he does take the odd one or two for fun.

yes, if i see any further trolleys (trollies) or anyone sends me some pictures or videos (or both), i will most certainly put them up here for your entertainment. or anything else of even the most basic, banal or bland interest encountered. maybe i shall go see if the car wash facilities of the world are back up and running again.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

law of lawn

hello


we are, here in the England of the UK, and indeed in the context of the wider region known as being a hemisphere north of the equator, look you see, in a kind of quasi "peak" summer time. this is, at the very least, true of the time of publication. if you are reading this, for some reason, around Christmas, well, then not so no more.

a consequence of this particular season is the (discernible) rapid growth acceleration of our fine, proud British grass. to clarify, what with so many terms being hijacked these days, by grass i do indeed mean just regular grass, the stuff what grows on lawns. should you have arrived at this moment on the internet expecting to read of the other form of grass, continued reading is, alas, likely to disappoint.

one of the many (many) unwritten laws under the English way of doing things is that you must mow the lawns of your residence as and when it gets over a specific height. yes, it is also that the height in question is also unwritten. this must be done even in the face of frequent growth spurts.

it is equally true that laws as they pertain to lawns are as unspoken as they are unwritten. there is an expectation that all shall be intrinsically (if not internally) aware of the length reach by which it must be cut. failure to do so attracts the most sternest of judgements. yes, people will walk past your home, give a stern look and - in some extreme cases - tut. or give the ultimate sanction, which is that they shall speak when the matter should be unspoken, saying "well, really" in a very short voice and then walking off in disgust.

no one, of course, is disputing the necessity to have correctly, partially neatly mown lawns. a major issue, however, is when they should be cut. as in, the time of day at which such an action, or act, or indeed activity, is permissible and acceptable. with prolonged (protracted, maybe, depending on what that word actually means) periods of daylight being prevalent at this time of year, there are some, if you like a certain type of d!ckhead, who will insist on tending to their lawn cutting obligations quite early on in the day. especially on weekends.

mindful of the fact that we are now, ostensibly, "free" of these so-called EU regulations set by so-called bureaucrats in a place called brussels, perhaps now is the time that we take certain unwritten laws of the English way of doing things and actually write them down, so that all may obey them. starting with the permissible times after which one may mow the lawns.

believe me, fear not (or worry not), i am not proposing anything radical, esoteric or generally against the grain of the English way of doing things. far from it. just setting some rudimentary, yet legally binding, rules - laws, if you like - about the time on days when mowing lawns may be permissible and, most importantly, acceptable.

the proposal i have is that we set a common, mutually beneficial time for days on which mowing may happen after, but under no circumstances before. nothing dramatic. let's say that on Monday to Friday no mowing may happen prior to 8:30am, before 9:00am on a Saturday and, respecting trading laws, 10:00am on a Sunday or Public Holiday. set out in clear, simple terms - like how, for instance, our beloved government has set out the basics for living with this new plague - everyone will be able to follow and understand them.

failure to respect these time guidelines which are suggestions that are actually unquestionable laws should, of course, carry rather serious repercussions. anyone found to be violating the time, for example, mowing their lawns on a Sunday at 9:00am, shall be placed on a list. let's call it the Lawn Offender Register. once on this list you cannot ever be removed, and when you move to a new premises (since in your shame you cannot remain in your existing home), it is a requirement that you visit each of your neighbours (which is to say everyone on your street and adjoining ones) and explain to them that you are on the Lawn Offender Register.

should that punishment sound quite harsh, well, that is because it is. the idea would be that the fear of finding yourself on the Lawn Offender Register is the thing which ensures compliance with the law.

it is a regrettable part of the obscenity and public decency laws we have that people cannot have "i am a d!ckhead" tattooed on their foreheads, no mater how clearly desperate they are to do so and show off how proud they are of what they are. a change in law to allow this would mean some people could cease drawing attention to the fact that they are indeed a d!ckhead, which at the moment they do now by mowing lawns early in the morning, or by standing in their drive, frequently revving poorly maintained and shoddy, lesser vehicles such as lower class models of car and woeful motorbikes.

well, anyway, that's my idea (or notion) put forward. there, i have said it. please don't let how poorly i have written it all detract from what a good idea it is, and thank you for giving it consideration.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a poem in a letter

hello reader


just another of them sort of posts that i promised not to do every month, look you see. yes, after doing a whole load of Bowie albums once a month (for many months) i undertook not to write about him once a month. which has worked out ever so well, as regular readers (thank you) shall be all too aware.

for a change, though, no music (as such) and no film (as such) up for discussion, but rather some literary (not literally) adventures. in the past, when all was well, i received not one, not three, but two books of Bowie as gifts, with one being given at Christmas and the other on my birthday, whenever that was, i think i was on a train.

in terms of books concerning, pertaining to or about Bowie, yes, i have (frequently) quoted his own view in the past, and shall indeed probably do so again in the future, should i be around. when quizzed on doing an autobiography, his stock answer was that anyone interested in such should rather just look at the many biographies out there, find the one that seems the most interesting or appeals to them, presume it to be the truth they want and just get on with it.

these two would not be "biographies" as such, though. although, that said, one gives an overview history of the bloke, whereas the other (at least claims to be) is constructed solely from his words alone. generally, my view remains that music at its best should speak for itself, and if one is required to bring specific, existing knowledge to get a beneficial listening experience, the recording artist has either excessive demands or has simply gone a trifle wrong.

starting where i did would be to return to those days of Christmas, with Bowie The Illustrated Story. credited to one Pat Gilbert. this was a most unexpected and welcome gift, and by all accounts was picked out by young William in a shop, who informed my (considerably) better half that they should get it, as it is that man that Dad likes. very wise.

any good, you may ask if you are in a rush? yes, very much so. how to word this so as not to seem derogatory, i wonder. in terms of the text of the book, you could say that it is inoffensive, does not challenge or seek to cause overt controversy. which is absolutely, perfectly fine. let us not forget, or otherwise lose sight, of that the word "illustrated" is in the title, for the images are the strength here.

overall i would suggest, or put forward the case, that some decent and considerable effort has gone into the illustrated part of the story told. the pictures selected, or if you like curated, should for some reason you like things to sound posher than need be, are most impressive.

it would be fair to say there are several (many) images of Bowie which are so well known they could be defined as "generic". anyone wishing to make something on the cheap - say, a documentary about Bromley Council and their services - is likely to go for this sort of one, and then begrudgingly so. one gets the impression that some decent effort has been put into image selection here, as it certainly has one or two images that i could not recall seeing before. not that i would make any claim to have seen all possible such before.

let me suggest that a close on universally accepted concept is that Bowie is a very pleasing visual image in his iconic status (or stature). i am not quite sure, for i am a gent, one would state that this is overtly in a homoerotic or otherwise arousing way, although for many this is of course very much a truth. but, safer, and more wider covering ground, is to state the obvious that he has always been a remarkably aesthetically pleasing chap to consider.

there is a tap on my shoulder as i write this, trying to attract my attention and tell me that which i know, which is i feel that i have been somewhat dismissive (and maybe rough) on the text element of this book. by no means, at all, is it bad. just anyone looking for controversy or "juice" will be left somewhat disappointed. whenever insights or anything critical is offered - the album Never Let Me Down, for instance - it all follows a quasi official line, uttering negatives only when there is a Bowie quote or comment to put forward as such.

yes, i do very much indeed like that image of Bowie to the top right, there, sat in his nicely clean house (with a suspicious lack of ashtray), hammering away at a mid-90s computer connected to something called an "internet", watching it take one or two hours to not strictly legally download a song or two via the phone line. it is quite possible Bowie had a second line installed just for internet connection, leaving his regular house phone (mobile phones were not that big then) free for his mates, such as Brian Eno or even maybe Reeves, to call and say hi.

so, indeed, then, Bowie The Illustrated Story is a truly lovely thing to pick up and peruse. just about every era or stage of his musical career gets decent coverage, and is resplendent with lovely images. on the off chance you are here reading this to see if there is a suitable gift to get for a Bowie fan that you know, yes, this is indeed a good one.

how big are the pockets on your trousers, or if posh your jacket? it's just that, whilst dimensions are overall smaller, the next book proclaims (or states) it is a "pocket" book, yet in terms of width (not of a circle) it is exact to the book just looked at. this is illustrated above, for those of you with a particular interest in such things.

moving on (or going back) to my birthday, and it was so that i was presented, as a carefully curated gift, the second (of two) books to feature here. this would be one called The Pocket Book Of David Bowie, but by this stage i would imagine you are aware of this.

what is it, precisely? as oddly quite clearly visible in the Commodore 64 mode image above, it has the extra, or clarification, title of Words Of Wit And Wisdom From The Starman. so, in effect, this is a collection - a "copy and paste" if you will, of select words attributed to being given, or spoken, by Bowie over the years.

to say this is made on the cheap is both, at once, misleading and accurate. on a superficial, or broad, level, one could say the (pocket) book "only" grabs quotes from interviews and what have you, and puts them together. well, yes. but doing that would take a fair bit of time and patience to do.

yes, some randomly selected quotes for you from the "pocket" book of Bowie, presented for easier reading in non-Commodore 64 mode. so far as i am aware it is not so that i have been to Croydon, at least not in any capacity where i would have spent time there and known it was where i found myself. there is some curiosity to visit, now, of course, to see what it was of the place that irked Bowie so.

it is so that the "cheap" element of this (pocket) book do creep up every now and then. whilst i could not be bothered to pick it out and picture, there is one attributed quote from Bowie in which he mentions looking back on the 60s with his chum John Lennon. whereas there is no reason to doubt the veracity of the words or quote, it is given that Bowie said this in 1969. a bit of an editorial or proof reading slip, there. so far as i am aware the two were not chums at that stage, and even if they were, i suspect they would not have been all that reflective on a decade which they were still in.

go on, then, the above was (partially) deliberately selected as a random, example quote off of Bowie from this so-called pocket book, to showcase the kind of answer he would give when consulted on an autobiography. also, it sort of highlights his sense of "meta", and gifts of what we know call, and i take it as complimentary, "Dad jokes".

exactly how possible is it to construe, or construct, this set of quotes as a superficial (face value) sort of autobiographical thing? for those who would wish so to exist, i suppose it could be done. one has to be mindful, though, that the purpose of any interview would be to "sell" something, be it a product, your innocence to the constabulary or your skills for a job. quotes from interviews have to be taken in that context. but, then again, an autobiography would be selling yourself too. no, this is all getting quite meta.

that's a lovely final quote, pictured above, to end all of this post on. it's cheeky, funny, witty, insightful, expresses an awareness, etc, but overall it's just, well, lovely.

would i recommend (or "endorse") this (so-called) Pocket Book Of David Bowie? actually, yes. what it lacks in being able to place in a conventional trouser pocket it more than compensates for in being a fun, interesting thing to pick up and read random quotes from. hopefully such has been highlighted with the selections here.

right, that would be all of that for this post. undoubtedly, should circumstances allow, it will be so that even more Bowie things will feature here next month. thanks for reading!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suck baby suck

hello there


a remarkably succinct, and indeed accurate, statement to make would be that fortune does not often smile favourably on me when it comes to domestic appliances. for some reason it is so, look you see, that i appear to have bad luck, or am perhaps jinxed.

highlights of this? there are many. and they happen both north and south of the equator, before you state that such is a factor. some examples would be the flooding of the washing machine, the snap of the tumble dryer and, of particular relevance here, the fanny belt of the vacuum cleaner. these are all appliances which i have, more or less, used in accordance with what i imagine is written in the instruction manual which comes with them. but, still, the twats break on me.

so it was that our vacuum cleaner - ill-tempered, cantankerous beast it always has been - elected to cease (as in stop) working. this was on a Sunday, for the record, and after 10am. actually, a bit later, as i had managed to procrastinate for a bit. i plugged it in, it started to do whatever it does that vaguely pertains to what it is supposed to do, then it did a peculiar noise and just gave up.

due to the ways and whims of the prevailing laws in respect of how and when shops may trade on a Sunday, it was so that (after selecting suitable garments from my extensive wardrobe) i could make my way to a suitable retailer and purchase a new vacuum cleaner. one that i hoped would not be quite so miserable. of the dynamic, wide and versatile range that was on offer, i could get one exactly like the one what has a fanny belt (see link above) which frequently snaps, one that i would be able to purchase if the shop accepted liver or kidney rather than cash, or a 'Henry' one, which are quite popular and reasonably well thought of.

if i may take (something of) a leap of assumption here, you will have probably (or possibly) worked out that from these options, as much fun as frequently changing the fanny belt on one that does not work so well anyhow, i went with this 'Henry' style of one. let me, or allow us, i said, experience the life what so many have with one of these devices.

well, yes, the fact that it was on special was also an appeal. but, special is as special does. it was still set at quite a premium price, with the required fee for the vacuum cleaner being just south of £100. and of course on top of that one needed to by the "bags" for it. my understanding was that such bags, for collecting the vacuumed waste, were an environmental thing of the past. not so. and as it is less messing about to simply bin the bag and move on, i am glad of this.

they, with they being whoever makes the machines, seem particularly proud of the fact that they have made (and i presume give or take) ten million of these devices. well, that is all well and good, but have they also sold that many? i mean, some twat - Sammy Hagar, say, or that horrid Mr Kim Kardassian - could have ten million copies of their (in the loosest sense) recordings pressed, but that does not mean they will sell them all. or, any.

going on what i can see, though, it is that they have sold a substantial amount of these houses. at present, and this is quite a gamble of me but still, i imagine that more households have a Henry (or related, see below) vacuum cleaner in the house than have a patriotic framed picture of Boris, or beloved leader, on display in the lounge or living room. this will be actual real sales too, and none of that "streaming" rubbish what makes the likes of Ed Sherry (or whatever) look better, more successful and considerably more popular than they actually are.

and why not, really. on the off chance that you have come here to look at this for a review of the Henry vacuum cleaner, and also had the patience to read this far, it really is a most splendid device. well, it goes about its business, doing what it was designed, built and sold for, in a way that our previous vacuum cleaner had next to no interest in doing. so yes, as some sort of social media influencer type, i say this device is class and would not hesitate to say yes to anyone already thinking of getting one.

one concern (not a major one but still) i have over the Henry vacuum cleaner is the efforts being made to turn the concept into some sort of "expanded universe" thing, mainly via the means of a Disneyfication of them. by that i mean yes, the issue of giving different types of vacuum cleaner human names, and attributing to them human features and human emotions.

for those unaware of the phenomenon, a great deal of needless deaths have been caused (accidentally and unintended, i am certain) by Disney's habit of giving human emotions and personalities. by depicting animals such as tigers, lions, snakes, dwarfs, elephants, crocodiles, spiders and so forth as singing, dancing, jovial happy go lucky types, some of the less intellectually blessed folk in our herd have come to believe animals are really like this, and so approach them for a cup of tea and a singsong. the conclusion of this is normally predictable and vicious.

whereas a vacuum cleaner is unlikely to rip your head off and eat you the way, say, a lion would if you went up to it and asked if it knew Simba, or fancied singing a merry and gay Sir Elton song, i remain steadfast in an unconvinced state about how wise it is to have people come to think of the vacuum cleaner in their home as a human. before you know it, if this is allowed to continue it will flourish, and we shall have misguided types doing things like try to take their Henry on holiday with them.

in respect of any flaws or downside to the Henry vacuum cleaner, just that one which blights all domestic vacuum cleaners within the EU, where the UK still is on paper for a short while. due to red tape and meddling, they opted to impose a limit on how powerful a vacuum cleaner could be. whereas before our vacuum cleaners had elegant, sophisticated and powerful engines, rather like the ones what them smart fighter jets in Top Gun had, we now have to have more economical environmental things. more paper aeroplane in comparative strength, really. perhaps when the UK is well and truly outside of the EU we will be able to have proper powered vacuum cleaners again, but for now this shall simply have to do.

right, well, there you have it. as nice as it is to now have a Henry as a consequence, if our domestic household appliances could now stop breaking then that would be great.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rolled one

howdy pop pickers


a single review, then. with this being a singular single, look you see. that last, or if you will previous, sentence might make sense as this progresses, depending on if you read this or not.

the singular single under review (or maybe it is better to say commented on) is one called Living In A Ghost Town, by no less than The Rolling Stones, or Rolling Stones as they seem to brand themselves these days. or, indeed, Ro££ing $tone$ as they have a habit of styling themselves and behaving from time to time. and why not, would you not if you were them and you could?

quite a bit of prolonged history to this single. apparently they recorded it last year. the single got a surprise "debut" airing, or "drop", in late April (or very early May). the CD single was due to be shipped in late May, but was delayed to late June so as to come out at the same time as the limited not 7", nit 12" but 10" vinyl variations. fitting, or apt, then, that my comments come to be in July.

so, is it any good? yes, but i suspect most of the world who would wish to know this are quite aware. when Radio 2 gave it the debut play, i said "oh, that is quite good", and so promptly placed an order. it was so that the following week Radio 2 made it "single of the week". which meant that i heard it 2 - 3 times a day, every day, for a week. as good as it is, by day three i was partially regretting my purchase, as i was now so familiar with it i was unsure how much it would have got played.

but, of course, that it is a good tune was only part of the reason for purchase. with certain realities that do not need to be mentioned (although one of them is that they could simply get bored and stop), one never knows when a Stones release will be the final release.

yes, as the band (or Sir Mick) have (has) confirmed, a full album is on the way, apparently scheduled for a 2021 release. i am surely not alone in being taken a bit by surprise at this news. many of us suspected, or "felt", that Blue & Lonesome, paying homage as it wonderfully does to the (proper) rhythm and blues which inspired them in the first instance was a beautiful bookend to an illustrious, peerless career.

should it be so that this album, whatever they may name it, carries the sound and quality of Living In A Ghost Town across the grooves, then all will be well. alas, it is difficult to tell, for this CD single really is singular, as my just south of £4 (plus postage) got me a one track CD. for some infuriating and annoying reason a lot of bands and artists - Stone Roses, Liam Gallagher, for instance - have taken to releasing one track CD singles and/or one sided vinyl singles. why? even just bunging an instrumental on makes it feel more of value, and less of a waste.

one interesting thing is that if there is a Stones album on the way, then it is incredibly likely (and this would depend on how the invisible war against the new plague goes) that a Stones tour is planned for 2021 or 2022. i speculate this because of a "weird" thing that Sir Mick has, in that he won't go and do a tour unless it is in support of an album. the most spectacular instance of this was in the early 80s, when Tattoo You was literally sellotaped together from unreleased tracks recorded across the 70s, so as to enable Jagger to feel satisfied that a lucrative tour of the USA was with good reason. beyond being one of their best albums, it also turned out to be one of their more expensive, as some of the tracks featured former member Mick Taylor on guitar, who very much expressed a wish and an interest in being paid for such.

news of a new Rolling Stones album, and possible (maybe) tour, these days tends to prompt but one response. that is of surprise that yet again Ronnie Wood requires funding for something or other. it might not be a divorce this time, but probably some accounting oversight. other than that, as for why they would still tour, or make records, the answer from the band tends to be "why not". you can assume all you like that they are "too old", but they retort that no one has ever done what they have done before, so there's no peer and no comparison.

indeed that is Darryl Jones on bass once more. he has been playing bass for the Stones since Bill "metal detector" Wyman left, in 1993. which means 27 years, as opposed to the 31 years what it was that Bill did the job.

why is he not a full Stone, then? because the band have had their fingers burned frequently by such, i suspect or imagine. it is known that the decision to appoint Mick Taylor as a full blown equal member proved costly when he quit. this led to Ronnie Wood being a "band member" from 1975 on, but he only became an official, equal member in 1990 - prior to that he was salaried, or as he said "an apprentice stone". since the decision to make him a full member has proven to be a trifle costly, well, i suspect we shall never again see or hear anyone else be ordained as a full member ever again.

to conclude with the obvious conclusion, Living In A Ghost Town is a great tune in its own right, but all the more remarkable for the fact that it is off of a band what have been doing this for just slightly south of 60 years. may they continue to do so, for as long as it amuses them or keeps the coins rolling in.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

barry for bullseye

hello there


it is a truth universally (or commonly) accepted, look you see, that the world has pretty much gone to sh!t, or went f****d, ever since Bullseye was removed from early Sunday evening entertainment schedules. this was the unassuming pivot on which life was balanced, with the good casting a shadow over the bad. and not the reverse we now have.

attempts have, of course, been made to rectify this gross obscenity of an error. these efforts have been, to be kind, misguided, but in truth a complete desecration of that which is sacrosanct, with the results being insulting and making things worse.

thus far someone somewhere has made not one, not three, but two attempts to resurrect Bullseye. both missed the purpose and point of the show. for one, they employed someone who either appears to have a personality void as host, although they did keep Tony Green. the other is recent (for this point of 2020), and features Alan Carr. i have not watched it, but will quite safely assume that the single biggest problem, shortcoming or failure of this is Alan Carr.

quite curious, it is, that those who are the custodians of control over the Bullseye concept simply fail to understand the power, the point of attraction or the prestige of the show. absolutely nobody cared about the darts, the caravans, the speedboats or anything but being able to be in the presence of His Excellency, once and future pope Jim Bowen.

up to now everything about the foolish efforts to continue Bullseye have seemingly been based on a strange notion that absolutely anyone, no matter how lacking in suitability (or obvious talent), can be presented as a host and all will watch. not so. it was more that we, as legion of congregation, would have flocked to anything Jim Bowen presented. that it happened to be Bullseye was secondary.

should it be so that we should then allow Bullseye to fade from being, as in make no further efforts to resurrect and limit the experience only to watching repeats of the only (so far) proper version (featuring Jim Bowen) to exist? well, no. as mention, our reckless and silly decision to cease Bullseye broadcasts (featuring Jim Bowen) led directly to the sorry mess the world is in now. it is so that we need Bullseye back, and with a proper host. one worthy of following the work conducted by His Excellency Jim Bowen.

as impossible and unlikely as it seems, there is a worthy successor to His Excellency Jim Bowen. one that oozes comparisons of a different but spiritually similar way. yes, indeed as picture above next to Jim, i speak (of course) about Barry out of Eggheads.

for those of you who for some reason do not know this (and no one knows anything about anything until they learn of such), Barry is a pivotal member of the "Eggheads" team in the quiz show Eggheads, hosted by Jeremy Vine, or "that twat Vine" as some refer to him as, but i certainly do not due to the high level of respect Vine has for both Sir Rod and cliff based rail transportation systems.

ostensibly, the quiz show takes the form of knowledge based questions, with the 'Eggheads' taking on teams of ordinary folk who like to do pub quiz things and that. a very dubious suggestions is always made at the start of an episode of Eggheads, claiming that the Egghead team are "arguably the best and most formidable" quiz team going. i would suggest that the gang off of The Chase, if you will the team called 'The Chasers', would absolutely smash their faces in, and wipe the floor with what is left of them. but, anyway.

Barry is very much the star of the team. and when i say "star", i do mean Freddie Mercury, or Bono like status. he is the consummate professional, shown in the opening credits bit where he does not move at all, unlike his (lesser) contemporaries, so you cannot determine if you are looking at footage or a picture. when the lineup of the 'Egghead' team is revealed and it is obvious that Barry has taken the evening (or afternoon, depending when they film) off, viewing figures immediately drop by around 75%, depending on who is on the team.

the last (or latter) element is important here. people want to see Barry, or if you like the Baz, since having a three letter first name is beneficial in this context. he might not be Jim Bowen, for no one is, but that sidesteps the point. putting him in charge of Bullseye wouldn't be them "just shoving anyone cheap" in to host, which is where all previous efforts have miserably failed.

many might think, or have concerns, that Barry would simply not "be ready" to take the step from occasional guest on a quiz show where he forms 20% (granted, the best and most important 20%) of the team. it is not unfair to have such fears, but that is only because we recall just the greatness of Jim Bowen, rather than the tentative first steps.

it was not so that Jim Bowen was appointed (or rather anointed, as it turned out) host of Bullseye because of international stardom and admiration. at that stage we was of course excellent, but just quietly doing his thing with no adulation. things what he did included teaching, rudimentary sheet metal work, healing lepers and similar with his touch, and some lightweight comedy routines.

hosting Bullseye simply enabled Jim Bowen to spread and carry his good work to a much, much wider audience. and so it must be that someone else must be enabled to spread their message.

no one can replace Jim, and equally it is not the case that just anyone would do to follow in his steps and present Bullseye, as has been conclusively proved. but Barry, or Baz, could bring to it his own special powers and magic, and heal the world.

an important factor to remember is that Jim Bowen did not always conjure his magic or perform his miracles all alone. he was, for the most part, wonderfully and so nobly assisted by the eloquent, reassuring, mathematically gifted and genial Tony Green. he too, would need replacing.

exactly what was it that Tony Green brought to it all, other than accurate scoring which was largely missing in that first series of Bullseye? a zen-like, hypnotic, soothing sense of relaxation, with phrases such as "take your time" delivered in a way that put contestants at one with the world, giving every assurance that all was well and that they could draw confidence from the sermon administered by Jim Bowen. the importance of this can neither be under or over stated, just stated.

fortune smiles somewhat here. it just so happens that Barry out of Eggheads, or Baz as we may very well start to call him, has his own variation of Tony Green. of course, just like Jim Bowen, there can be no direct, nor like for like, replacement for him, but there is someone that will deliver the same end result, albeit with different qualities.

yes, that is indeed Chris, or Big Chris as he would get called on Bullseye, who is also on 'Team Eggheads' in the quiz show Eggheads. the rapport, or if you like chemistry, between Baz and Big Chris whenever they appear together is a most splendid dynamic. if you already have a winning, fruitful chemistry between the two hosts of any show, you have virtually reached success in your quest to deliver television perfection.

as a prominent member of the 'Eggheads' team, we can surely take as a given that the complex mathematical requirements of the Tony Green role shall be a breeze for Big Chris. the other, more reassuring side of the part will be a bit different. whilst by no means abrasive, it all the same is so that Big Chris is a rather more direct, abrupt and confidently confrontational character when compared to Tony Green. oh, undoubtedly he would assure contestants on Bullseye, the pilgrims who are the lifeblood of the show, that all is well. it is just that he would be doing it more in a style akin to that of a club bouncer or doorman.

it is the personality (and the uniqueness of it) of Barry (Baz) that makes him an ideal custodian for the future secure with Bullseye. let's not dwell on how he is not Jim, but rather that which he would bring to the role. he is energetic, passionate, flamboyant, knowledgeable, erudite and enthusiastic. to slightly go against the grain of my earlier comment, perhaps the best way to describe Barry is that whereas of Jim Bowen it was true that men wished to be him and women wanted to be with him, for Barry it is that there are some women who wish to be with him and men who would very much like to be with the women that wish to be with Barry.

you (or at least i) can totes imagine the Barry lifestyle, and very much wish to buy into it. one can easily picture the type of party, or rather soiree, he would host. guests would be treated to a dazzling range of chunks of cheese on sticks, with some also including olives, whilst others are served "naked" for the benefit of vegetarians. communal bowls of sangria would be placed about his palatial home. musically, visitors would hear the very best of all music recorded by people who are called Barry, be it Manilow, White or Gibb, all whilst he showed off, spontaneously, his flamenco and rumba dancing skills.

not that such events would be a complete dedication to being a 70s throwback. for the most part, the defining points of parties in the seventies (with very little else to do) were so-called "wife swapping" events and tupperware sales, with one invariably acting as a sort of cover for the other. despite the fact that one can't really imagine or picture Barry being a staunch advocate of either, it is equally true that he would have no immediate objection. no doubt, so as to accommodate guests of a mind to do so, Barry at this parties would casually place a bowl for people so inclined to to put there car keys in, and also could probably rustle up a few rudimentary containers for people to purchase.

should there be such a thing as an "elephant in the room" with this, then it is very much that one exceptionally rare quality what Jim had. this is, of course, the fact that it seemed perfectly natural, as in there was never any reason to question or doubt why it was so, for Jim to just happen to have some two to three thousand pounds in cash in his pocked, with which he rewarded contestants.

there are not, to be frank, all that many people on the planet who could walk around with that kind of cash without arousing degrees of suspicion. Jim could do so, because he was infallible as we are all aware and accept.  whilst true - and this is no shortcoming or criticism - that Barry does not quite have the same element of infallibility, his personality is of such fine standing that absolutely no one would assume he had a few grand in his pocket for any untoward or questionable reason.

one harsh, and possibly inconvenient truth is that i have (i accept) invested a great deal of time, effort, energy and thought into stating the obvious, knowing that it will be largely ignored. them what own the Bullseye, the ruling elite, really do believe they understand what it is they have. for them it is just a show all about throwing arrows at a board, feeding the proletariat a false dream of how the potential to own a speedboat or caravan will elevate them to the bourgeois, but instead serving as an instrument of oppression. a reality is that we tuned in for our spiritual well being, to be enlightened and informed.

as a proponent, or if you like ambassador, for ideals of universal love and harmony, Jim Bowen administered sermons of well-being through the conduit (or forum) of Bullseye. if them what possessed the show had any sort of sense, they would see that a comparable, much needed experience could be delivered by anointing (or appointing) Barry (Baz) out of Eggheads as the full worthy successor.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just

hi


nothing tremendous here, really. but, also, in a very real sense, everything tremendous, look you see. this is all just some images of The King, Elvis Presley i took quite by accident.

recently, as opposed to some unspecified yet strangely fixed date in the future, i had reason to create some smart, class Commodore 64 images of Him, The King, Elvis Presley to appear on my usual and fairly rudimentary calendar update. yes, the one which pops up monthly.

as it happens, in so doing i accidentally created a couple of extra images of Him that look fairly smart. rather than just going "that's nice" and moving on, it struck me as them being decent enough to place here, on proud display.

should one be inclined to do so, then one might wish (or care) to see these as a sort of quasi companion piece (or post) to one that i did a couple of years (assuming you are reading in 2020) ago. you can find the one i speak (or write) of by clicking here.

there is not really a great deal of all that much i have to say of these pictures, actually. which i would imagine is something of a refreshing change for those who only visit these blog posts of mine to have a gander at the pictures anyhow.

of the two, i believe it is the first which is my favourite of Him, The King, Elvis Presley. but, also, that second one just above is also quite class.

well, anyway, let me let you get on with an appreciation of these images, or whatever it is you wish to do, i suppose.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cone

g'day


and so the world, in places, slowly, gently and in a rash or sometimes considered way, goes back to varying degrees of normality, look you see. i am sure that you, we, the people are quite tired by now of phrases such as "back to normal" or being invited to accept things as the "new normal". let me try to avoid such terminology here.

one of the things i have every confidence the majority of people are keen (if not eager) to see once more is that most splendid of sights of shopping trollies (trolleys) randomly discarded in environments one may consider unnatural. various scrap metal dealers in particular, i suspect, are very enthusiastic indeed about seeing this, but of course only to help rebuild and stimulate the economy with fair pricing for them and subsequent diligent, accurate tax returns.

whilst we are a little way off the return of the sight of a shopping trolley at a peculiar site, fear not. a glimpse from our future comes from a land where the invisible war on the plague has been won, or so reports say. look, and see what awaits ahead, rather than behind.

sure, if you wish to be pedantic (or accurate), no a traffic cone is not a shopping trolley, strictly speaking. but there are many similarities. both are, for example, distributed freely by various authorities (on a provincial and national level) with the (very) tacit implication being they are there for the taking by anyone who feels compelled to borrow or own one. them who manufacture and/or procure these cones know that they do so with funds from the public and so, just like supermarkets use consumer profits to invest in trolleys (trollies) it is accepted that it is fair, from time to time, for those who in a real sense paid for them to take custodianship. at least i think that is how it works, if any of you have any court experience of using that line and it worked i would be eager to hear from you.

few, if any, scrapyards accept traffic cones though. a most regrettable design flaw with traffic cones is that they are not made out of metal as such, but rather some sort of plasticesque type of plastic material. bit rubbery, in truth, which i think is for when motorists drive into them, as they are so prone to do.

please, don't get too excited, or carried away. whereas we here in the UK have more or less won the invisible war on the plague, victory is not secure. such is, though, in New Zealand, where the above picture is from. but not the one below.

we seem to still have some level (or form) of social distancing here in the UK, then. that, or the council or whoever are being cheap, and just placing the one cone down to mark off traffic. no doubt they will blame this on "austerity" or other such cuts. i do wish we could be as flamboyant and generous with traffic cones here, then everyone who wanted one could have one.

once you have obtained a traffic cone (or several), what can you do with it (or them)? this is an interesting question. a quick search on ebay suggests there is a fairly fluent market for selling them, although it might be a bit tricky to answer when questions are posed of the provenance of the cones. sadly, at this time scrapyards are not taking cones, as the arse has fallen out of the market. this is probably due to that lass off of Switzerland (or wherever) doing them temper tantrums about all things what are plastic.

should selling the cones not quite appeal to you, or fit in with your ambitions, well then there are a thousand other things you can do with them. give or take. unfortunately just about each and every one of the one thousand things involve placing a traffic cone on a statue, which is quite tricky to do at this present time.

yes, that is indeed Mum with an absolutely massive (or king of) traffic cones, over in New Zealand. a little known New Zealand tradition is for shops (and other such retail concerns) to hand out traffic cones as a thank you for your patronage. normally it is so that the bigger the cone they give you, the more valued a client you are.

regrettably no, UK retailers tend not to follow this course of discretion. it is still so that, predominantly, the shops here seem to think that they are doing you a favour by taking your money. such is how it has always been, and always will be, no doubt.

little wonder, then, that so many move from the UK to New Zealand, and no, not all of them are Scottish. never mind, let us look in wonder once more at the bountiful, plentiful and many traffic cones what they have in New Zealand.

oh, hang on, before i go. something of a disclaimer. it might not be the case that you can just help yourself to any traffic cones that the council (or similar) place on roads. you should ask any council worker by the traffic cones if it is OK for you to take a few. of course, if they have put the traffic cones up and there is nobody actually near them working, you can take it as a given that they have been abandoned.

many thanks, as ever, for reading. and be careful with the cones.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!