red

hi

nothing too much in the way of intelligence here, just a post about that subject which is highly likely to be one which causes my demise. so, yes, smoking. specifically Marlboro, look you see. and so yes, the usual disclaimer, smoking is bad, don't start it, if you do smoke then quit, etc. 

moving on, then. a reality of living in England, or likely the wider UK, is a ridiculous government. if you ever wished to have confirmation that them in power are either as thick as pigsh!t or deceitful or both, and yes likely both, it's cigarettes. they keep increasing the punitive tax on cigarettes and then claim that it is working as "fewer" people are smoking. no. what's happened is "fewer" people are paying ludicrous prices when (ahem) independent importers and distributors have absolutely no issues bringing them to the market at half the retail price or better. a lower yet still (marginally) punitive tax would see them get more revenue than they do now and cut down on the less legal means of procuring cigarettes, but they are just that stupid. 

a minor downside to the more independent, less officially approved way of obtaining cigarettes is that one cannot always get their preferred brand. there was much merriment and Cousin Balki like dance of joy time, then, when i got my hands on the finest cigarette known to the human race. which, of course, is Marlboro Red. 

just what makes Marlboro Red the best of the best? no idea, but i do hope they keep on doing whatever it is they do to make them. from time to time one hears how they "intend" to stop manufacturing cigarettes within a decade or so. quite possible i will be gone by then anyway, but for the sake of other people who smoke and all them tobacco farmers i really trust that they do not. 

yes, that is indeed a close up of the warning image on one of the cartons (or if you will sleeves) of my most beloved Marlboro Red. how interesting to see that the (in)famous Baby Putin appears in the picture. i have drawn attention to this before, and for those interested here is a link to the more famous image of the Putin child used on warning pictures. still convinced that they have deliberately manipulated it so as to make him look so. but also don't give cigarettes to children, even if they do look like world leaders of dubious standing. 

oddly i am quite in favour of most of the "anti" smoking laws and legislation. it is a quite bad habit, after all. although i note the NHS is in more of a mess than ever, despite claims that cutting down the number of smokers would make it all better. very happy indeed to smoke in designated areas only, just so long as all non-smokers f*** the f*** off and leave us to it. that thing of phasing out smoking by increasing the legal age to legally purchase cigarettes is also worth a go. but they may wish to stop driving us existing smokers into the welcoming arms of the less official market for them. 

it is of course never going to happen. for some reason governments fear making practical decisions out of an incorrect perception of what will and will not "go down well with voters. had it been so, say, at the time of that "Brexit" vote they had said "vote to stay in the EU and we shall reduce the price of cigarettes to levels compatible with Spain, Greece and what have you" then there's every chance a million or so votes would have moved to the answer they wanted and (foolishly) took as being a given. we people are that basic and could have been bought so easily. 

right, well, just a reminder that once again smoking is very silly and you should not do it. it will, however, be somewhat (vaguely) amusing if it happens to be something other than cigarettes what brings about my demise. perhaps state sponsored assassination awaits if i keep drawing attention to the presence of baby Putin on these fag warnings. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lynch

hello there

perhaps i should stop buying documentary tapes (discs), then. no matter how interested i am in the subject it seems just disappointment comes from watching them, look you see. well, ok (or all right) i only had a slight passing interest in the last one, being as it was the fate of the Scala cinema, but still. hopes were high for this one, but just no. 

as for what this most recent documentary bought was, it was Lynch/Oz, which made quite clear how David Lynch had inserted references to The Wizard Of Oz (in its film incarnation) into all of his projects. such was fairly obvious in, say, Wild At Heart, which one could argue (despite the other source material) was clearly a remake of the whole thing. films such as Dune and The Elephant Man didn't, from memory, seem to lend themselves to such. 

mostly, or for the most part, this is all just six or so filmmakers of various levels of fame and/or talent saying things like "yes, David Lynch is great and he liked Wizard Of Oz". the person who put it all together, whose name escapes me sorry, interjects now and then to point out that he likes David Lynch and so he must be brilliant. well, i like David Lynch and i am most decidedly ordinary and unimportant. but, celebrate yourself if no one else does, i guess. 

it is kind of (more or less) left to the only really immediately recognisable director in this documentary, the celebrated John Waters, to make the one point this documentary has. he says something along the lines of yes, there's a lot of Wizard Of Oz references in Lynch's work, but isn't it ultimately so that every story told in every film is that of someone trying to get home. should you indulge a wide definition of what "getting home" may involve, he is of course correct. 

let it not be said that all other comments were a waste of time, mind. i am surprised that it took watching this documentary for me to clock, or notice, that in Twin Peaks Fire Walk With Me there's David Bowie in red shoes (slippers would be a bit much), shouting about how "we are not going to talk about Judy". oh. 

one other thing i hadn't put together was that, more often than not, a David Lynch film will feature someone stood in front of curtains miming a song. a rather interesting nod, but from memory in none of the films is the "real" person in control behind the curtains in his films a la Wizard Of Oz. depending on how you define the scenes of that nature in Twin Peaks, mind. this snippet would be a perfect excuse to include a picture of Dean Stockwell doing that in Blue Velvet, but no, another Bowie image. 

hopefully someone somewhere (over the rainbow, if need be) makes a much more better documentary about David Lynch. this one is not (entirely) without merit, for the clips selected from his films are rather good ones. overall, though, it's pretty sh!t. boring in places, which is criminal considering the excellent subject matter. 

the provenance of my copy? picked up the video (fancy disc) at Fopp, i believe, for £8. maybe i would have been somewhat less disappointed had i paid just £6 for the standard DVD version instead. still, at least it was half the price of that Scala one, and it isn't signed by people i neither know nor care about.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pez

greetings

it was (fairly) recently that a very good friend elected to present me with some gifts. these items were, ostensibly, somewhat belated birthday celebratory ones, look you see. whereas i would not wish to bore you all with a presentation of such in full (although you are here by choice), there's one item which prompted some thoughts to write. 

not for the first time and not for the last i have thoughts of what was once scarce and is now in what feels like abundance. this, at the least, is from the perspective of my youth, which can be subject to memory distortion. such is true for all of us, it's just the way that whole mind/brain thing functions. 

so yes, then, a Pez dispenser and some extra (apparently fizzy) Pez things to put in it. not sure, actually, what one should call an individual Pez? maybe something like pellet, or block, or bit of "candy", since it is so all of this resides within the realms of the Americans. as to why a Peppa Pig one (Pez dispenser) this is likely a misunderstanding by my friend of the interest in the subject. the most recent "special" stamps off of Royal Mail feature characters from this show, so it is possible that my use of them was interpreted as an interest. not sure if i have ever even seen an episode of it. 

my memories of this stuff (Pez) flow to the 80s (but of course) and family holidays. i think it was in Malta that we children first encountered these magical looking things. certainly it was not so that they were freely available in England at the time. not our corner of it, at the least. from what i remember all of us, being my sister, brother and i, wished for more and more of the dispensers to be bought for us by Mum & Dad, who to be fair did indulge this wish to an extent. no, not sure what happened to the ones that we got then, yes, likely they are "collectors items" now. 

other memories would be of being not all that impressed (or taken) with the taste of the sweets. or if you like candy, since it is American. entirely plausible that these things were my first experience of such from there. if it was, an early marker for how that "candy" stuff which sounded so interesting and exotic was in fact bland rubbish. still, a very lovely gift indeed. the novelty of the sweets (or what you will) popping out of a head was the appeal then and remains now. 

as for our modern world, this century which i do not understand, these two elements now carry quite different meanings. in a positive, Pez is known more or less exclusively now for being the crux of a rather fine episode of Seinfeld called, oddly enough, The Pez Dispenser. rather different for all things in the realm (or expanded universe) of Peppa Pig. on a global stage this brand is best known for being banned in Australia (g'day) for daring to suggest spiders are "harmless" if not friendly. those of us in the UK, however, now have an indelible link to fallen PM Boris Johnson, for it was around the time he decided to use a press conference for some important matter or other to instead say how brilliant he found Peppa Pig World (whatever that actually is) was. oh. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

james

howdy pop pickers

bit of an unusual one, this, as it features me (moi) getting news of a gig with quite short notice before it happened, and me (moi) of course going to it. for the clarity of any doubt, yes, it was the band James i went off to see. a band that i have spoken of quite highly here mostly for the superb album off of them about eight years ago, being Girl At The End Of The World, look you see.

the gig, billed as a "special warm up concert", was announced for the Stockton Globe a mere three weeks before it was due. i kind of panicked as the tickets were to go on sale at a time where i was likely to be knee deep in traffic. but then a "presale" register thing came up where i could get a ticket the day before, which i did. i had needed not bothered, as the show did not sell out. 

quite peculiar that James did not sell out a venue relatively smaller than usual for them to play in. mostly it seems that people in the area had bought tickets for shows on the "proper" tour and we do not live in a time where spending another (when fees are included) £70 on another ticket is a straightforward thing. also standing gigs at the venue have a bit of a reputation. this i experienced at Morrissey there, and heard of at the Paul Weller gig (i forgot to buy a ticket), where the main comment was that it felt like the standing area was far too packed. 

still, i was surprised when i turned up about twenty minutes before James were due on stage (i had no interest in the support act, in fact i do not think i have dared watch any support act since Uncle Colin and i endured the lady and her songs of space tampons at Adam Ant) and could easily stroll rather close to the front. which can kind of be seen in the poor picture above. 

quite a few people were also commenting on, or asking what, exactly, a "warm up" gig was. would this not be a proper show, then? yes and no. i guess they wished to practice material from the most recent album, or test it on an audience. to this effect the first hour (or so) of the gig was dominated by songs off of Yummy, which was reviewed on this blog somewhere. 

not sure why it was so, but never in my life have i seen so many people walk out on a gig. and it is worth mentioning, or reminding you all, that i went to one of the infamous "me and a tape" gigs done by Ian Brown not so long ago. still, i am baffled as to if it was people just fed up of "only" new stuff being done, or if things like the erratic nature of the performances and sound were making people think there might be something decent on tele instead. 

did i consider walking out? not really. closest, perhaps, was when i considered going outside for a cigarette (sorry) when my worst fear came and they performed the worst song the band has ever done, being Shadow Of A Giant from the new album. it's a terrible, forced and quite contrived effort at a really poor epic number. when it started the "balance" or "mix" of the sound went proper f****d, with it all being distorted and screechy. i think i stopped only to watch how Spinal Tap it was going to get. oddly the song felt a lot shorter in performance than the dragged out mess it is on the record. 

my phone is very clearly complete rubbish for pictures and video off of gigs. perhaps i am missing some setting or other. anyway, to show that not all (far from it) of the songs from Yummy are poor, here's a bit of video. 

that is indeed a chunk from what on the album is called Life's A F*****g Miracle, but has since been changed a bit to replace a certain word with another, so as to get it played on Radio 2. 

any other Spinal Tap moments? oh f*** yeah, more than i ever expected from a James gig. like, as a decent fan, i am aware they, in particular frontman Tim Booth, are idealistic, laid back hippies, that is a main amount of the appeal. but then no, i wasn't prepared for, and this happened more than once, the band starting off by playing different songs to each other and then stopping to look at Tim and ask him which one is it that he thinks they should play. 

during the gig one of the band, i think Jim, did stop and say it was a miracle Tim was there and the gig went ahead, as there was a wish to put him in hospital for unspecified reasons. well, it didn't really show, as his singing was superb. perhaps not as much crowd interaction as i expected, except for a bit where he said that he was doing that Brando trick as he had various song lyrics taped up around the stage. i am not sure many people caught this conversation. 

unlikely that the bloke stood somewhere to my side heard it, as he spent most of this gig shouting for the band to play Laid. not clear if that is because it is his favourite or if it was the only song they do what has the maximum number of syllables he can handle. would comfortably bet on the latter. 

eventually they did do Laid, it was the last of three encore songs. we also got, in the end, some of the better known songs, like Sometimes, Fred Astaire and, as in the (poor) video below, Sit Down.  

perhaps not to the levels of the infamous "ever get the feeling you've been cheated" moment with  Johnny Rotten, but there is an odd sense that with this "special warm up" gig we were all kind of invited to pay for a full tilt price ticket to be guinea pigs for the band to see how the new album material would really go down with audiences. not as well as hoped, i think is the answer they got. 

still, i remain glad i went, as seeing James had been an ambition of mine. sure the new album heavy set was not great and the sound issues didn't help, but yet when the performances were allowed to break through there's one truly amazing band. 

rather doubtful i shall see them again, though. mostly i believe i got all i would want from a James gig, and i am not certain i would need to do so again. if they happen to play close by to me once more then sure, but the only reason i would travel to see them is in the unlikely circumstances of a gig where they play all of Girl At The End Of The World being announced. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

cinema

g'day

well, well, well. no, i didn't really (or particularly) except to go to the cinema all that much this year. especially not when there's no Val Kilmer or David Bowie related films scheduled, look you see. but that, or even this, is now twice i have been so far (2024 for clarification).

for this second instance i went off to see Furiosa. yes, once again this was at the cinema known as the Ealing Project, known as that because that is its name. where is it? funnily enough, Ealing. it was when i went there to go see Civil War that i became aware of it coming out (so to speak), so it seemed somewhat apt to return. 

any good? as in a quick review, free of spoilers and for those in a rush? yes, as it happens, overall it was excellent. which feels kind of strange as a whole load of whines, moans and groans are likely about to follow. none of them, however, take away from this being superb. 

no idea why but all of a sudden it's quite tricky for me to do stuff like select and change colour for the text. so, rather than it being all shiny and bold for you, i will trust that you are reading carefully and accept that one of them "spoiler warning" things is in place. but i would (reasonably) assume to presume anyone reading this is aware of what Furiosa is about. 

if not, plot? an "origins" story for the character of Furiosa out of Mad Max Fury Road. which was an attempt to resurrect the Mad Max character, presumably in the hope of creating a lucrative franchise. quite fair, since the film studios exist to make money. anyway, what most (and it may be worth remembering that it wasn't a big commercial success) took away from Fury Road was how excellent the character was. or rather how brilliant the Charlize Theron performance was. 

so, to get this straight, they elected to make a prequel to a barely successful (yet brilliant) film eight years later, and decided to focus on the most popular character but decided to use a different actress in the role. credit to Warner for throwing a huge amount of money at a film that part of a niche audience kind of had a slight interest in just shy of a decade ago. 

popcorn and coke were, of course, bought. in this instance i went for the slightly smaller sizes but ended up paying more. how and why? not due to inflation created by our brilliant government, but rather due to me taking an unexpected shine to the Ghostbusters cup chalice drinking thing. quite class it is, and now that i have it at home, no i do not regret it. 

what Furiosa gets right is the inclusion of staggering, breath-taking action sequences. but this is also an area where it kind of lets itself down in its brilliance. easily the best part of this film is a major assault on an oil tanker being driven from point a to point b. which, yes, was one of the most excellent bits to be found in Mad Max 2, or "Road Warrior" if American. i cannot stress how amazing this part of the movie genuinely is, yet all the time i was aware it was a full tilt homage. even down to having a vague Max rip off character (who looked embarrassed to be so) and basically Furiosa simply taking on the role of the Feral Kid, sans class boomerang. 

worst part of the film was, easily and regrettably, Chris Helmworth. glances at him in the trailer and on the poster had me thinking "why didn't they make a Mad Max film with him as Max?". here, as supposedly the "big bad", he is terrible. no, not due to his acting. for some inexplicable reason they have put on him a ludicrous prosthetic nose which immediately brings to mind Peter Sellers as Inspector Cluseaou (spelling, sorry), as well as some daft novelty teeth. the effect of this is to be distracting and annoying, and you just look forward to him being not on screen. 

as for the supposed main character, well, i doubt even if they had brought Charlize Theron back things would have got much better. you just don't ever really care for her, not in the way you do or would for Max, or even the Feral Kid. or Wez out of Mad Max 2 for that matter. undoubtedly all of the physical stuff in the immense action sequences was quite a thing, but in terms of character, story and development, all they have her really do is have her stand around and look mean. 

but, that said, there's an awful lot of talking in this one. far too much. the film runs for north of two hours, which never ever really feels a drag, yet cutting some of the needless dialogue would have taken twenty or so minutes out. just what was it in the political discourse scenes in Phantom Menace and the subsequent audience reaction that made them think it was a good idea to shove it in here? 

quite the frustrating experience, then. it's like they have just used the Furiosa character to go about recreating some of the superb moments from Mad Max folklore, with a female lead being deployed as an excuse to look trendy and with it. a thoroughly enjoyable experience in the cinema, but just feels so flawed and so "why do this". 

up to now no, no further cinema adventures planned. well, unless i go see this one again, which i may well have done before this is published, should chance permit. certainly i am not going to see the new film off of Bad Boys - even if the previous ones weren't terrible, the trailer for this new one looks like they have quite deliberately set out to make a very bad film. oh well, will see if anything decent comes along and if i am within walking distance of a cinema to see it.

be fair dinkum to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unwritten

तत्र नमस्कारः

it feels like a while since i have flexed (or showcased) my special talents within the realms of the dark arts. many reading this will simply assume that i had forgotten i had such. this is simply not so, look you see. with so many trials and tribulations on the go i have, as it happens, come under considerable pressure to once more dabble and see the unwritten as it is written. 

my reluctance to do so is pretty much down to existence. there is a subtle yet obvious differential between not caring much what happens to one and one willingly pursue a course of action which sees their present scientific status of immortal being tested. it is so that when i am approached to delve there exists at least two possible outcomes. one is going to make someone very, very happy, with the other making them very, very upset. possibly even quite cross. giving them the unwritten as written means that someone somewhere may well vent their fury at moi. 

but, that said, why not give a general (or vague) answer to particular questions. to this end (or effect) i have then summoned the cards to write that which is unwritten. and here, if you are ready, is what the cards said. well, eventually. 

with me not doing the cards for a bit i got somewhat carried away and tapped the deck four (4) times. that was of course discarded then, with another shuffle taking place, just the correct three taps being made and the resultant draw shown above. yes, in psychedelic mode. regular form of picture is below, if you so wish to see. 

one common misconception i get (a lot) about my special powers is the nature of unwritten. all is as it should be, and a future know. my powers just transform the unwritten to written. yes, people argue that no, it is all unwritten as they understand that term, and try to prove this by taking an action, or even saying something, that they declare to be "random" and impossible to have predicted or know. yet what they did believing to be random was precisely what their destiny was to do. 

sadly no, i cannot give you my interpretation of the cards above. well, actually, no, yes, i could but i am not going to do so. it is for you to see what is unwritten and written in them. 

right, hopefully that has given at least one (1) person what they wished of me. if more, great. 

परस्परं उत्तमाः भवन्तु!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tribes

howdy pop pickers

recently it was so that i was on my travels. well, yes, this does happen quite a lot, or if you will frequently, look you see. in this instance, though, i happened to catch a most splendid moment in between the act of changing tapes (discs) before i commenced driving. 

i happened to tune into the radio. Radio 2 to be precise. for doing so i was rewarded with hearing an actual, proper radio dj in the form of (woo) Gary Davies (on your radio). he was standing in for (take a breath) Vernon "who are you and what's your job and where are you from oh right that's interesting i am from Bolton me and i were cleaner you know in Bolton where i am from did i ever mention it had to do a good clean always check top of door as supervisor did to make sure you done proper did i mention i was from Bolton, i am you know i am from Bolton me here let me roll a few r's for you so it sounds to me like i sound to you that i am not as thick as you think i am and then i am going to irritatingly sing the wrong words to a well known song in an annoying and bad i am from Bolton me did i mention falsetto voice i am from Bolton me do you like me oh go on please say you like me i used to be cleaner in Bolton that is where i am from" Kay. should you have read that then bravo, and also you have now heard every single show Vernon (see above) Kay has ever done or shall do. one can only hope the latter is a smaller (fewer) figure than the former. 

the only thing really better than having (woo) Gary Davies (on your radio) on the radio is having (woo) Gary Davies (on your radio) playing top tunes. which he does and, in this instance, did.

 

yes, it was so that the majestic brilliance of Two Tribes off of Frankie Goes To Hollywood got played. it is quite likely that i have written at length of this one here over the last twenty years (!!), and for a lot longer to random people in letters and what have you. 

hang on, actually it now must be forty (40) years (!!) since this song reigned supreme in the charts. it was at number one for nine (9) weeks, with a lot of that time seeing Relax by the same band sat right there at number two. back when the charts were charts, and based on sales. not record labels streaming acts they wished to punt on repeat. 

video? why not, since i managed to capture my favourite part, or lyrics, or what have you off of the song. but yes, all of it is excellent and you should probably stop wasting time reading this and go play a proper copy of it.

well, no, not really, not really, no. i have nothing further to add, but would like to repeat the solid, indeed sound, advice to go and listen to this magnificent song properly. 

switch off your shields, switch off and feel. 

familiar

greetings

initially, or to begin with, i was going to write how this post was likely going to be pointless. but then, on consideration, it would not be unreasonable to suggest the (north of) 4,000 other posts what i have gone done are of a similar definition, look you see.  let me crack on, as it were, but as all of this relates to the requirement to smell something, disappointment looms. 

recently, or if you will not so long ago (at time of writing) i felt like purchasing some air freshener. not quite sure why, as whatever needs i would have in that regard are generally covered by one of them plug in electric ones. maybe it was just that i happened to see some on sale south of one pound in the sterling sense. could have been 11p south or maybe as much as 31p south, i forget. anyway, i got some, and as you can see the provenance is Morrisons. no, nothing to do with him as far as i know.

a reasonable expectation was for this to have a pleasant, or at the least agreeable scent. one would be foolish to seek a product of this nature to make things smell worse, or if you will fewer nice. indeed this does achieve this, but something else. for whatever reason i have a clear memory of this "peony" scent, and it feels like it is a good and/or positive one. yet no, i cannot place where the familiarity comes from, or indeed who(m) it might be that my mind strives to associate it with. just is. 

perhaps (other than taking up space here) my idea or notion to write of this was to try and flush out what, exactly, i am remembering with this scent. kind of sort of jog a memory, as it were. up to now, no, that (or this) hasn't happened. oh well, on i go, giving the odd blast of the cans. 

yes, i think that is a vague reflection of moi in the image above.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

deathstalker

hi there

so once again i have found some time to watch some videos (well, discs, look you see) and once again i have elected (or opted) to watch rubbish. well, maybe not rubbish as such. trash, perhaps. as the title of this post gives slight indication of i have not watched just one Deathstalker film, but also with mercy i have not watched as many as three. just the first two. 

provenance of my copies of these videos? well, yes, discs. by chance i was in HMV on Oxford Street and they had a few discs for sale on a 2 for £15 basis. an immediate decision was made to buy the Prince masterpiece Sign O The Times, and i felt it best to get another to take advantage of the deal. so, after some consideration, i recalled that i had for some reason always regretted not seeing at least the first of these films, so that was it. the price of it on its own was a curious £17.99, so i guess i "scored" a deal. it felt a bit like that, at least, right up to actually watching them. 

up to now, as in at the time of writing, just the four (4) Deathstalker films exist. quite by chance i am led to believe that a "remake" is, well, being made. or a "reboot" is underway. for what reason someone has decided that what this world is missing is Deathstalker goes way beyond any level of understanding or comprehension that i could wish to access. good luck to them. 

my level of understanding at least stretches to know that the first of these films was more or less made to try and cash in on Conan The Baarbarian, and possibly one of my all time favourites, The Sword And The Sorcerer. to this end, yes, they clocked that what was probably a key success factor in both of those films was the generous and pleasant level of female nudies. let us be honest here, that was indeed a significant motivation for moi to watch them. 

does Deathstalker have a plot? kind of. with little in the way of character development we get presented with the titular protagonist, who gets sent off on a quest to unite three things so as to gain a really mega level of power. what three things? one was a sword, another was a necklace like amulet, and i think the third was some sort of goblet or chalice. of course some "big bad" wishes to do this to have all that class power to do evil things, whilst we are to assume that Deathstalker will do nice things.

yeah, the plot exists as such to tape together scenes of needless but enjoyable nudity, as well as some decent moments of violence. also some rubbish moments of violence, like when people die by just having a sword touch them. being fair there's a couple of decapitations that you would suspect lead to realistic death situations. 

the terrible script is insanely amplified by the intensely bad acting. Richard Hill, who plays Deathstalker, looks like he would find it a challenge to play Richard Hill. not sure who the actor is that plays the "big bad" but in virtually every scene he looks like he is about to break into tears and slump to the ground, wondering how his ambitions for life ended up with him being in this. still, the ladies who kindly take their clothes off in this film are superb. 

being lazy would be to say something scathing like Deathstalker is the worst film you have ever seen right up to the point where you watch Deathstalker II. this, however, is reasonably accurate. it's not like them what made it were not guilty of being lazy. a new actor in the form of John Terlesky (me neither) plays the titular character. well, ostensibly he does. quite a few of the scenes featuring Deathstalker have him on a horse, which apparently required a stunt double. would it have killed them to put a wig on him so as to disguise the radically different hair colour and style? indeed an "acting double" may well have been prudent, but it's not like the scriptwriting dramatically improves here. 

and does Deathstalker II have some sort of plot? more or less. it's pretty much a "homage" to the plot of the much beloved Conan The Destroyer, just not as well developed. let that sink in. from what i could work out Deathstalker is sent off to rescue some princess or other from some evil wizard or other. actually who it is playing the evil wizard (or whatever) seems to think it is worth the effort at least try for a bit of acting, which in context just feels weird. 

every now and then you get some footage from Deathstalker thrown into Deathstalker II. the most confusing of this is where a (literal) pig headed barbarian eats a pig head. it wasn't very good in the first one, so f*** knows why they thought we would wish to see it again. mostly where this is weaker is that there is very, very little nudity on offer. like, or as in, just a couple of scenes. instead they opted to include a number of scenes of some midget getting his head kicked in. whereas this provides some nominal if not marginal entertainment, it's just not as good as what nudies is. 

perhaps to illustrate how much i (apparently) hate myself and to what lengths i am prepared to seek punishment, yes, indeed i did take a provisional look at working out how to obtain III and IV of the not really celebrated Deathstalker saga. both seem rare and pricey. also by all accounts III went for a sort of family friendly rating, which i take as means no nudies so i will never watch. it seems that Richard Whatever returns to, or reprises his role as Deathstalker, and it is filled to the brim with nudies. maybe i shall look for it at some stage, but right now i cannot even be bothered to pirate it off of the internet. 

what hope is there for he remake or "reboot" of Deathstalker? admittedly i am kind of intrigued to see just what, exactly, they hope to "get right" this time. unlikely that it shall be a nudies festival; they don't put nude stuff in films no more as it's no longer a selling point, what with all the filth you can access easily and for free on the internet. let me worry about the new version if they go ahead and actually release it. 

going and putting these films out on fancy blu ray is an obscene waste of resources. if what Greta says is true and that every time someone uses plastic one of her dreams gets stolen then not a single, precious dream she has should have been taken from her for this sh!t. but yes, also, both films do kind of fall into that "so bad it's good" category. mostly the first, mind, as that's where the nudes are. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

books

hello reader

it does feel like quite some time since i did a post on books what i have gone done read. quite likely that it has been several months as i have for whatever reason fallen out of the habit of reading. nothing dramatic about this, look you see, just one of those things. 

so, anyway, i have read a further two (2) books since i last gone done one of these sort of posts. one of them, the first to feature below, was read over the course of a few months, now i think. odd, as i started, or if you will commenced, reading it before my Aotearoa odyssey and only picked it up again quite some time after my (increasingly reluctant and unwise seeming) return. 

moving on, and as usual, a picture (if you please) of the 2 (two) books read, followed by a brief overview. once that is all good and done, you really, really want to consider it so that  one of those curious sort of *** SPOILER WARNING *** things is very much in place. 

first off, then, is The Death Of Bunny Munro off of Nick Cave. yes, that Nick Cave. also yes, i did kind of vow to "not read celebrity books no more", but then Nick Cave is less "celebrity", more artistic talent who(m) is to be treasured. this book, as dirty, salacious and grimy as it is, is to be cherished and celebrated in unequal measures. next is Cold People off of Tom Rob Smith. unlikely you will find a much better written novel anywhere, for he is truly gifted. so gifted that you almost don't notice the ingenious approach to a "been here before" premise covers up a complete lack of a decent story. 

you all saw that spoiler warning thing, yeah? i am not typing it up again as for some reason this computer, or keyboard, are not letting me highlight text and change colour of it. likely i have pressed the wrong (or incorrect) button somewhere. not that you touchscreen generation types would know. 

should a wish for provenance still be a thing it is so that i by chance saw this copy of The Death of Bunny Munro for sale in a charity shop. price was £1 as you can more or less see on the sticker. no, i was unaware the novel existed before seeing it there, and purchased immediately. 

up to now my experiences of people famous for things that are not writing deciding to do a novel has not been good. the only real exception (prior to this) has been them books off of him, the former Sonia backing dancer, also known as The Tall One Formerly Out of Pointless and The Tall Brother Of The Most Excellent Bass Player Out Of Suede. it is so that those novels have (thus far, only read three) have been excellent. no doubt entered my mind giving this one a try. 

plot? again, spoiler warning. a despicable, sleazy lothario door to door salesman called (as you may have guessed) Bunny Munro unexpectedly yet not surprisingly finds himself both a widow and thus the sole parent for their child, also named Bunny. rather than ditch a lifestyle he knows, he simply takes his son on the road with him. whilst doing so he also becomes partially obsessed with the story of a killer who(m) appears to dress as the devil, convinced this person is making his way from the north down to his (and Nick Cave's adopted) home town of Brighton. 

one of the blurbs, or review quote advertising things, somewhere on the cover or inner pages states that you are "going to hate yourself for how much you like the protagonist". this is true. as in, and again, spoiler warnings, Bunny Munro sneaks off to relieve himself with a quick one off the wrist during the funeral service for his wife. depending on how you feel about that (and the way it is superbly written makes it one of the many darkly hilarious episodes in the book) it's not like his behaviour improves any going further and further on. 

it is my understanding that, as i write, this novel is being turned into a TV series with him, the one out of Doctor Who and now Dragon House Games 2 (or whatever), playing the protagonist. should you have googled for that and got here, certainly, yes, this is absolutely a novel worth reading. 

the novel The Death Of Bunny Munro is just as lyrically beautiful as you would expect from Nick Cave. it also takes you, as does his music, to some strange, dark, uncomfortable places. if it were so that they put them age restriction certificates on novels like they do films (and computer game things) i would imagine the censor would like quite a few cuts before awarding it an 18. so no, this is not for everyone, and, as you have likely worked out from the one part highlighted, is most certainly not for sensitive or squeamish people. let's, or i, hope that the television adaptation does it justice. 

whilst i have a dozen (or so) novels sat at my lodgings in my place of exile to read, i happened to notice the unexpected thing of a new Tom Rob Smith novel on the shelf. this was a shelf in Tesco, where i was on a break from verk purchasing some dinner, or lunch if you are posh. so yes i bought this as well as the dinner i was there for, and opted to commence reading it straight away. apologies to the books waiting to be read, which i think includes a couple of John Grisham ones. 

in respect of the plot, kind of a "been there done that" one with the main premise being 'alien invasion'. where Cold People differs, though, is that it doesn't show or "dwell" on the what of that, it focuses on people caught up in it, and their attempts to meet the (odd and never explained) demand of the now in control alien conquerors to "move to Antarctica within 30 days or die". for this, the writing and story is breathtakingly brilliant, as one follows the ostensible main characters but encounters others on the ferocious fight for life, the sheer determination to get to a land where no one on arrival really expects to be able to live all that long. 

again, then, i draw your attention to that spoiler warning. it is so that the prose, the writing style, is so wonderfully flowing and constructed that you very nearly don't mind that the novel simply does not live up to the premise, or the inventive way of (if you like yet another) retelling a story told many times since War Of The Worlds came along. even if you embrace the principle of "suspension of disbelief" to delve into the fiction, the way in which the survivors behave just isn't credible or something that makes sense in the realm of the "reality" created. 

once again, spoiler warning given earlier. in regards of the world of the novel, it just doesn't seem plausible that what scant resources the survivors made it to Antarctica with would be used towards breeding (or creating) "mutant" humans capable of surviving in the conditions. there's also the stretch of whether genetic engineering laboratory equipment would have been a priority to ship over there within that alien 30 day time limit. at the risk of it being all The Martian on earth, surely such resources would have been used to make the environment more hospitable? perhaps it is all as basic as the author saying yes, we the human species probably would be stupid enough to do what he depicts in the novel. 

endings are not really a think Tom Rob Smith does well, in truth. many years later i am still annoyed at how The Farm was left so open ended, and he's not returned to that. i recall getting to about 100 pages left of Cold People and thinking "oh dear, however this ends it's not going to be good". not sure if the finale is story complete or slightly open for more to follow. should he follow this one up with a sequel it is likely i would get it, but ultimately i crave no continuance. 

hard to understand who(m), exactly, the target market is for this one. most, i would suspect, would get a trifle frustrated with the lack of detail of the invasion, especially the why and what for stuff. yet i still very much recommend this one. should you for some reason want an example of fine, outstanding, truly brilliant writing is like, then this is it. as mentioned, the writing style virtually covers up the lack of any well or properly constructed story. 

 

so there we are. or were. two novels that i was very glad to have read, as it turns out, even if the second of them, Cold Mountain, has left me somewhat confused as to whether or not i liked it. 

yes, i think that i am kind of quasi back in the mood for reading. every chance exists that i shall finish off the now traditional two (2) further novels in a month or so. undoubtedly as and when i do there will be that compulsive sense of feeling a need to document thoughts on them here. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hammersmith

now then

and it will be with a sigh that some regular readers go "oh right, great, another post of stuff in around London, how exceptionally boring". with more of my life being found there, well, i have little choice but to write of it. or, i suppose, yes, i could just stop writing things here, look you see. feels kind of silly to do that (or to stop that) since it's now about twenty years (!!) i have been doing it. maybe one day it will all end, for nothing lasts forever. 

moving on then, and in (relatively) early May i had reason to be in the wonders of Hammersmith. not, alas, or sadly, for a gig. a colleague, and if i could be so brave as to suggest friend, wished to go and visit the celebrated Rik Mayall Memorial Bench. for some reason i have become the guide of choice for this, at least amongst verk colleagues. but it is no hardship to go. 

no, this was of course not my first visit here. that's probably why i have kind of accidentally become the person we, the people wish to guide them there. certainly it's unlikely that they wish for it because being in my presence is a good thing. two (2) of my previous visits have been documented, and if you are interested then by all means click here and / or here. my, how things have changed. 

like quite a few things in that there London (innit) it is so that the Rik Mayall Memorial Bench isn't in the exact spot it once was, or should be. this was the nearest closest bench they could find in Hammersmith to where the original was. as i have no doubt mentioned in other posts the original bench was where some of the opening sequence of Bottom was filmed. oh well, people can live with the zebra crossing on Abbey Road not being where it was when The Beatles famously crossed it, so this too will simply have to do. 

perhaps some form of warning should have been given before the above picture, which is of course one of them selfie things of me (moi). oh well, my blog, etc. if it helps out, the remaining two pictures also feature me, but you can distract yourself with a look at the others on display with me. 

it is very much so that i, and the rest of the known universe, miss Rik Mayall being around. sure, his body of work will last forever, and it is always a delight to see the odd clip here and there of him at his absolute genius best. asking someone for their "favourite Rik thing" is one of those impossible to choose just a singular one thing. rather just celebrate all he did. 

our quest to pay respects to Rik Mayall just so happened to be on the day of the (2024) London mayoral election. this i know as when we arrived at Hammersmith Tube Station there was this gentleman. for those who don't recognise him, that is indeed Piers Corbyn. indeed, that one, and yes, brother of Jeremy. he was busy handing out leaflets which appeared to suggest the election was "illegal" as he was not a candidate, and encouraged people to spoil their ballots. this, going on the declared results, did not happen as much as he may have hoped, but at least he asked we, the people. 

as it happens, my friend and colleague had no idea who Piers Corbyn was, or why i was so keen to get a picture with him. he, Steve, said he "just assumed" it was the usual sort of oddball or mental case that i have a tendency (if not proclivity) to attract. so far as i am aware i think this was intended in a complimentary way, but also it is what it is. 

since, or as, he was the primary motivation to visit the Rik Mayall Memorial Bench once more, there you go, a picture of Steve with me. yes, i would agree he is more better to look at than me. as it happens, some of you shall thank him whereas others shall momentarily hate him, for he by chance saved my life (literally) not so long ago. i more or less thank him for this, up to you if you do too. 

right, well, that's a fair bit of stuff for you to give consideration to. or some reasonable pictures to have a gander at. and may i say that's a smashing blouse you have on.........

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!