remembering the beast from the east

heya


perhaps this should be titled hopefully remembering the beast from the east. i write this, look you see, at the end of day two of what was projected to be three days of it battering us. but who knows, perhaps i fall in the midst of the ravages of it and this is all some sort of bizarre epitaph, or maybe it continues on.

i think the best thing about the term "the beast from the east", used as it was as long ago as last month, was that everyone was sick and tired of everyone using the phrase before any snow actually hit. we got countless warnings of it, but then again we are kind of immune to them now. every year, and without fail, certain newspapers predict "the worst winter for x years". inevitable, then, that the one year they could have got it right they didn't predict it.

oh. good. great. i see some of the pictures i am adding here are ones what blogger and google have, in their infinite wisdom, rotated to a less traditional or classical correct rotation. no matter, if it is all sideways for you, perhaps this first selfie of moi for this post will look even better.

no, i do not for one minute think that those who lived - if indeed we did survive - through this "beast of the east" business will thank me for the reminder of it. but, hey. i have friends and family around the world who think that all this snow stuff simply must be totes marvellous. so, for them, here it is.

whereas i respect that you are distracted by how handsome i am, for the most part at least, some of you may have observed some strange ways to the sky. on the one side it's a dark and formidable grey, yet the other appears to have a clear, clean (ish), crisp (hello, Faye) blue to it.

that would be the strange dynamics of these snow storms. well, not strange i suppose - i recall, fondly from when i was inside - how in Jozi the beautiful blue sky went black and grey in an instant for thunderstorms. how it works is the sky snaps blue and you think "oh, safe to go out now, lovely", so you go out and then about half an hour later the grey rolls in and twats you one with more snow.

above is the morning of day one of this "beast from the east" weather conditions. with thanks to a local farmer, contracted by those in power on a local basis, the road got cleared of snow for a bit. i was able to get out and drive for a bit, but had to give up after a handful of hours when the snow returned.

the pattern so far - and this is now me writing on the occasion of the morning of the third day of this - has been snow, lots of snow, blizzards from the winds, clearing up a bit, more snow. on this third day, however, we have not had that "clearing up a bit" element as such as yet. indeed, as point of fact, the soothsayers and the fortune tellers who are the "met office", have declared that part of the world in which i live as being under a "red alert"; something i have not experienced since the threat of nuclear war prevailed through the mid 80s.

in respect of the above, i am sure that "met office" lot are lamenting their early use of the term "weather bomb" a couple of years ago. back then they decided to press the red button on the ultimate term for describing weather when we had just a bit of fanny snow and some gaylord rain. they have nowhere to escalate the term to now, and so don't have a wonderful or scary thing to call what we have.

oh, good, another sideways picture. well, at the least the above appears to have been rotated in a most decidedly anticlockwise way as i try to do all of this for the benefit of your reading.

strangely yes, i am sort of doing this in a quasi chronological way. mostly. above is morning two of these weather conditions brought by "the beast from the east". that's down in the village, to where i was dispensed to get the essentials in - cigarettes, bread, cigarettes, milk and some cigarettes.

i concede, yield perhaps, that the above does all look picturesque, lovely and that. however, in respect of my earlier description of how this storm and these blizzards come to and fro, the video below was taken just a few minutes - no more time than it took to buy cigarettes, bread, cigarettes, milk and some cigarettes - prior to the image above.

would you be wondering if the above conditions are fun and interesting to be out in? no, actually the answer is f*** no, should you be inclined to excuse vulgarities.

yes, indeed i have tried driving in this. i must hasten to add, though, that the above were from my endeavours in walking. taking a stroll to see how the roads were seemed prudent before driving. in respect of driving adventures, most of the main, or major, roads have been cleared. the side streets where people live have, alas, not. so you can sort of get in the area of somewhere you want to be, but not actually where you need to be as such.

after driving on day one and day two of this whole "beast from the east" thing i elected to take the safety advice, "level red" and what have you, and refrain from venturing out in any sort of automobile here on day three.

the above is the garden, way back on day one of this jolly weather adventure. in real life the white of the snow looked so much brighter than how my phone what has a camera welded to it captures, but no matter. of interest, i suppose, is the footprints. these were left, i believe, by a cat.

my concerns in this weather are for those living creatures of our world that do not have the options we do. yes, quite, "nature finds a way" and all that, but i do like to try and help it all along. with this in mind, i've tried to spread some food around for the birds who frequent our garden. i suppose attracting the birds to our garden for food might just provide the cat with some nourishment, too.

anyway, me on a bit of a pause as i was driving around. this next picture is indeed a selfie thing, and me out there on day one of all of this snow business. yes, i do have an expression on my face that is partially squinting in the brightness of the sun bouncing off of the snow, but mostly a confused and bewildered look, wondering if the device was working.

once again, then, you can see that beautiful, clear, crisp (hello, Faye) blue sky what we get at times like this. i do love the shade. obviously without the snow, but still - one of the reasons i love Mad Max 2 so much, other than the awesome plot, the ace action and Wez's trousers, is the lovely blue sky captured in it.

i am running out of inspiration about what else i might write here to entertain those of you who like reading instead of just gandering at the pictures. to stave this off, another image of the footprints, or if you like paw prints, in the snow in our garden.

and, for good measure, some video out of the garden. this was an attempt by me, or if you like moi, to be sure, to film both the foot / paw prints and indeed some more snow falling.

my understanding would be that all devices and platforms, within reason, can now play back the video i add here from time to time. splendid; for a while it was only those who elected to visit here via a regular PC or one of them laptop things what could see it.

something interesting that happens is that the trees get a coating of snow. what makes this interesting is that birds are nesting in them trees. every now and then, then, you get a whole load of snow being shaken off of a tree for no apparent reason, except for the fact that some birds are within the branches and the leaves. the birds are presumably moving around or mucking about.

yeah, that's a partial glimpse of one of my fingers, or perhaps a thumb, in the bottom corner. sorry, i could not be bothered to edit it before adding here. i was certainly not going to go out and try to take the picture again, if that is what you were wondering.

every now and then i get a good idea for this blog. most recently in terms of this is the below, where i said, i did, "ooh, let me take a picture at an angle, it will come out ace". i shall leave it to you to determine or otherwise ascertain if it is indeed ace.

indeed, the above was taken on day two of all this weather, as i strolled to the village to get some provisions.

should the above look like it was taken in one of them clear, not quite snowing moments, well it was. but the video below was taken shortly after the above, and shows what happens when the snow comes down.

at least i think it does. it is totally a video of trees in snow, but i do not recall if it was actually snowing when i recorded. i am sure you can work that out if you watch it.

going back on an earlier comment, no of course it is not just birds having a mess around what causes snow to fall from trees. now that i think on, yes, the wind pushing the trees around helps dislodge it and knock it off too.

i am pretty sure this next image is a selfie on day one of all of this, but it may very well also be "day zero". to be honest i just don't recall.

there are quite a few images of me around or near churches on this blog, so i thought that one of me in the vicinity of a mosque may well bring some balance. yes, perhaps, if i am ever anywhere near a synagogue i shall take a similar image, if it seems safe and appropriate to do so.

another sideways upload, then. cheers, blogger and google. but they do let me do all of this for free, or if you like gratis, i suppose.

well, whichever way as which you look at the above, that was the morning of day three of all of this. at around 6:30am in the morning, if you wish to know the specifics. it was as i looked at the above that i thought, to be sure, yes, let me take this "level red" warning about not driving, threat to life, etc quite seriously.

do i feel like a bit of a fanny for not driving in this snow? yes. guilty, also. feel bad not going off and out to verk. in practical terms, however, risking going out in all of this today could well lead to me being incapacitated for some time. worse, i may inadvertently harm others by being out doing something or other which could so easily wait for another day.

some more video for you above, then. this is, once more, the morning of day three. just a fair bit later than the last image; as i recall circa 9:25am in the morning.

whilst i made the above video, it was not actually for me, or for this blog. no. my (considerably) better half had an expressed wish to have some video to send to her Mum, but had no wish to be outside in it. as is custom for a gentleman, i offered, then. it was an opportunity, after all, to go and have a cigarette to celebrate some successful filming.

so on that note, yes, there's a last selfie, featuring me smoking one of the cigarettes which i deemed essential to go off and purchase. quite kindly someone said that i am channelling Han Solo out of Star Wars on Hoth in that coat. the kind compliment payer clearly has a somewhat hazy recollection of how the Han looked, but appreciated.

phew. that's all of that done, then. hopefully this has been of some interest to some of you. well, at least one or two would be nice.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fanny belt

hey there


never, look you see, is the divide between America and England, or the British Isles to be sure, greater than when it comes to understanding the word "fanny". ostensibly, and in crude terms, to the Americans this word means the back bottom of a person, whereas for us in England it in a polite yet crass way references the front bottom of a lady.

and yet we here in England have, but of course, another definition for the word. to reference something as "being a fanny" means that it is cowardly, or easily scared, or of scant use when the pressure is on. more often than not a gentleman will call another a "big fanny" if the gentleman being addressed will not take on a hard or arduous task, or will not engage in fisticuffs.

to this end, so to speak, the biggest of the "big fanny" things i have encountered in this world of late is the drive belt one would have on a Hoover Breeze branded vacuum cleaner.

above, in the glory of Commodore 64 mode, you can see the snapped and frayed end of such a drive belt. this is, by my reckoning, the third such belt the vacuum cleaner has snapped. yes, i have replaced it, and now it is on its 4th.

what sort of time frame or calendar has the vacuum cleaner had in regards of breaking these belts? to be honest i do not recall exactly, but as far as i am aware, or concerned, we have not had it for much more than a year, if even. so, a fair guess would be that breaking the belt is a quarterly engagement for the vacuum cleaner, or if you prefer not to use fiscal terms once every three months.

might the breaking of the belts be down to misuse or otherwise incorrect operational procedures by me? perhaps. i have no idea how the first one broke, as it happened on the watch of my (considerably) better half. the second instance was when i had that rather infamous episode where the power supply for a netbook got knacked, with the third and most recent being caused, apparently, by a strap off of a bag inadvertently being hoovered up.

but, still, i am not at all sure that the above incidents should have directly caused such a big malfunction. it's not all that sturdy or protective of a design, is it, if one minor boo boo or oopsie can cause such damage; damage which renders the device inoperable until you have replaced the broken fanny belt.

and no, indeed not, changing the belt is no easy task. other than having to order the belts - expensive, they are, considering they are a loop of elasticated rubber - sliding it on to the cogs, bars or whatever they are called is quite tricky. one must remove virtually all of the underneath of the vacuum cleaner (the fanny side, if you like) and then squeeze one end of the belt onto a rudimentary metal bar.

yes, as someone not very confident about building or fixing or making things, there is a sense of pride i get when i successfully replace the belt. but also no, i would not really need to have this sense of achievement in my efforts quite so often, thanks.

so no, really, i cannot recommend or endorse this type, brand or manufacturer of vacuum cleaner. which is a shame, and really it is, as for many of us the business name "Hoover" has become synonymous, or whatever the fancy word for meaning is, with the art of vacuum cleaning. whilst i might be at fault for one or so of the belt breaks, it does not matter - for somewhere north of £70 but south of £80, Hoover should have users like me in mind when they design, build and sell these things.

with respect, or regards, to the word "fanny", who is right in the way they use it, us the inventors of the language or our friends the Americans, who perpetually seek to corrupt the language? of course we are right. if the Americans could be encouraged - gently - to transform their culture and society so as to accept and use the word, term and accusation "fanny" the way we do, well, one would think their lifestyle would be considerably less aggressive, and all the better for it.

i am at a crossroads, of sorts, then. or maybe i dilemma. do i pursue a life of continuing to use this vacuum cleaner and resign myself to changing the belt every third month, or do i invest in a similar device but made not by Hoover, who clearly have a penchant for fanny design elements. no, no idea, but as i have just changed the belt i suppose i may as well carry on with this one for now.

speaking of things to carry on with and be doing for now,




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

back on a bit of boba

hello


and so it starts once more. or recommences, i suppose is right, look you see. for a while now i have been fortunate, perhaps, not to have been persuaded to purchase any items pertaining or in any way related to Boba Fett; the fictional character out of Star Wars widely regarded and factually accepted as being the third best character out of Star Wars after Lando and Lobot.

but of course, this has changed. hence this post existing.

i, in a moment of parental weakness (or maybe two moments) unwisely took young William to Toys R Us so as he may spend the bit of pocket money i unwisely gave him. see, i said two moments. anyway, i saw this set above, and indeed further pictured below.

the set had a rather attractive pricing on it; one which was south of £10. 2p south of £10, actually, as it was £9.98. whilst i toyed with the idea of treating myself to it, wrestling with all the other things i could spend the money on, William snatched it away from me, and said "yes Dad, you buy this for you, as Boba Fett is your favourite".

no, dear reader, Boba is my third favourite, after Lobot then Lando. relax, i have not changed my mind. but William quite likes to think that Boba Fett is my favourite, and who am i to dilute or ruin the dreams, visions and interpretations of children?

yes, i would indeed be north of 99.98% certain that William insisted i treat "myself" and buy this purely as he has every confidence that, sooner rather than later (perhaps by the time this "hits the web", so to speak), he will end up with it in his possession to play with. this is precisely what has happened to the other two Boba Fett figurines what i have purchased over the last four or five years.

my presumption is that anyone reading this would have no need for me to say much in the way of a description. but, to be covered, this is quasi Empire Strikes Back Boba Fett and Han Solo. i presume this on the long sleeved jacket what Han has on, but the quasi element comes in as i do not recall Boba twatting anyone with his smart flame thrower things in that film, or any other he has been in. his Dad did, i think, in the ever popular Attack Of The Clones.

indeed, it may well turn out that this set is all the more of a bargain than it is already, should some rumours come to be true. the rumours i speak of are, of course, all about this Solo film on the way; a motion picture which ostensibly tells of an early adventure (or two) of Han Solo. there is an assumption that Boba Fett will indeed feature in the film, with some going as far as saying that some of the "on set", behind the scenes images even show him being in it.

Lando is in the film, as it happens. the presence of Lando makes it one of the top three Star Wars films ever made, without anyone seeing it yet. should Lobot be in it too, that would be smart, and it would mean that the film is in the top two of the greatest of all Star Wars films ever to be made.

do i find it frustrating that i cannot purchase a set similar to this, but what features Lando and Lobot? yes, of course i do. but i also understand the Disney approach. in their infinite wisdom Disney have always taken a low key, low promotion approach to Star Wars, and are loathe to exploit it for money in terms of merchandising. according to their accountants, Disney are virtually running at a loss, or are at best a "not for profit" organisation. unleashing items pertaining to Lando and Lobot for sale would disrupt this business model somewhat, i fear.

am i interested in this Solo film? yes, because Lando is in it and Lobot might be and Boba probably will be. but also, no. it feels like they are throwing far too many Star Wars films at us. whereas Episode VII : Mission To Moscow was a splendid homage to the original film and Rogue One That Was Actually Renegade Ten had some smart moments, the last, Episode VIII : Battlestar Galactica proved that it was entirely possible to make a bland, dull, often boring and average film.

no, at the time of writing i have not opened these new character toys up to play with. perhaps i shall leave them in the box, until such time as William remembers i bought them, and gets around to asking me if he can "please have a look" at them.

anyway, that would be about that, then. as ever, if you are an enthusiast of Boba Fett or any other such imaginary space character famous for having a bucket on their head, i trust that this has all been a quite pleasurable diversion for you.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

desperate, desolate, discarded

hey there


once, for a while, one of the most / least interesting regular things to feature on this blog was or were tales of discarded shoes. it was, more often than not, a single solitary shoe that had been left behind, presumably by a well refreshed patron of some form of evening entertainment establishment.

i have, in truth, not seen much of anything in the way of such for a while now. fear not, though, enthusiasts of the abandoned. this post seeks to make some form of amends, if required, for the lack of singular abandoned shoes with adventures relating to other things what i have seen on my travels that are of a similar nature. well, similar in terms of being discarded.

much of my time these days is spent in concerns related to travel. whilst i cannot disclose the specifics of what or why, naturally, i can assure you that i get to see many interesting things. as and when the opportunity presents itself to take images of such, and then add them here, so it shall be.

yes, sadly. that is indeed a record, or if you will a vinyl record, broken, snapped and damaged beyond all forms of being a playable concern.

it saddens me to see any physical form of music destroyed, it does. well, in this instance yes, as this was not a recording by Sammy Hagar or Mr Kim Kardassian, or whatever he calls himself. pressing recordings by them is a waste of resources, so smashing them is fair enough for the damage has been done. not so with this record, though. who it is we shall get to later, if i remember, or perhaps you can see.

no, alas i have no idea of the provenance of this particular 7" single. further, i have no idea at all how it came to be smashed into such a sorry state, or why it was left discarded on that special edge where the pavement meets the road. my best guess is that it was a most peculiar, and indeed perhaps specific, accident, or otherwise someone got quite cross and angry with it.

this is perhaps the saddest, or most poignant, of discarded items i have seen. yes, indeed, it is a fairy, or angel, or other such winged princess, slain and drowned in one of the many puddles we now have in this country due to a complete lack of road maintenance. i should point out that this was within the confines of a quasi private land car parking facility, so for a rare change it was not the fault of the relevant council or other such municipal authorities that the road (parking) surface was so knacked.

it may be entirely possible that you saw the above and shed a tear with immediate effect, fearing that a child had come to lose a precious toy. fear not, for i suspect this is not what happened. the above was taken within alarmingly close proximity to a number of entertainment establishments which thrive on pre-nuptial celebration events; "hen nights" and "stag do's", if you will.

a suspicion i have is that the above was worn or carried by a bride or groom to be as they participated in such a celebratory event. indeed, they, and it, are likely to have been the focal point of it all. once the party was over, so to speak, that was that for the angel or fairy. perhaps the party of hens, or stags, ceremoniously "drowned" the angel in this puddle so as to bless the forthcoming wedding with good luck, fortune, etc.

now then, this one above is a little bit more tricky to explain. if it to you seems to be a partially opened and then entirely discarded tampon, that would be most likely as a result of it being such. at least, so far as i could work out. there was substantial traffic and a number of people quite interested in what i was doing, so alas i had, to be sure, a lack of confidence in looking closer.

i don't really do all this "i identify as such and such gender, race, sexuality" and what have you business. perhaps i am simple, or an overweight, out of date relic in this regard. my view would be that if i wanted to go into, for example, a bathroom facility reserved for the ladies, i would think it best to simply state such and get on with it, rather than come up with an elaborate reason as to why.

with the above in mind, then, let me be clear that i have a basic, rudimentary understanding of the female body that is not based on me identifying or similar. my basic understanding, then, is that a tampon is decidedly not something a lady would be walking down the street with, only to say "you know what, i will use one now", partially open it, change their mind and just toss it on the ground.

a close up of the fallen angel, then. and no, that cigarette butt is nothing to do with me, thanks, i do my very best to always find of a correct way of disposing of such. as there were several brickies, plumbers and other such tradesmen around i did not dare and linger too long on taking a picture, lest they verbally abuse me and question my sexuality. one that i am comfortable with, but it's not nice to encourage or give grounds for others to explore their prejudices by giving reason for such vulgarity.

my stag night? a fairly formal, civil, peaceful and quiet affair, really. that is my story and i am sticking to it, as will the handful who survived it if they know what is good for them. my (considerably) better half, alas, can make no such similar claim. from what i gather she made quite a spectacle of herself on her hen night, with her and her collection of familiars, friends and associates disgracing themselves in several bars and clubs.

do i think that the ceremonial de-winging and drowning of an effigy of a fairy or angel or similar would somehow bestow good luck and fortune on a forthcoming wedding or similar such arrangement? not really, but then again this is not a matter which i have wrestled with much. if for some reason you are considering doing this and further for some reason are consulting me for advice, then i would say go for it, for no harm can come of it except to the angel or fairy what is sacrificed.

yes, to finish up or off with, as close as i could get of that 7" single. i am not sure the details of the recording are clear, if not then i promise and assure you that this is in fact a Stevie Wonder recording. which makes it all the more of a shame, as Stevie Wonder is most smart.

for some reason i tend to keep all sorts of nuggets of snippets in my mind. every now and then i spew them out here, so that they may be recorded for those interested, or floating around for as and when i am no more. anyway, one of them is the theory, myth, urban legend and matter some vouch as fact about Stevie Wonder possibly not being "as blind as thought". several people have provided compelling tales which suggest that, maybe, he can indeed see things as and when it suits him. but, i have no evidence of such, for i move in slightly different social circles to the man.

the last time i can recall seeing smashed records on the road was the late 80s, maybe early 90s. it was memorable as it was always copies of Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet by Pat & Mick you saw. why? probably because it was not the Gonzalez original.

well, there you have it. my apologies for the fact that, thus far, i have not seen any discarded shoes of late. should i do so, then yes, if possible i will take some pictures and add them here. for now, though, i hope these desperate, desolate and discarded items have, for reasons which escape me, been of interest.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you shout it whilst you're dancing on the dance floor

heya


well, they got me. being on mailing lists means that, from time to time, one is lured into making a purchase, look you see. and so this is an incident or case of this happening.

them people at Zavvi, i think is how you spell it, were determined to secure some coins of money off of me in exchange for more t-shirts than i could possibly use. for several weeks they have been sending variations on a deal, with one, to be sure, finally convincing me that yes, i will buy.

above is the parcel what they got coins of money off of me for, then. it arrived in some 72 hours of ordering, give or take. this is not bad at all. the first time i ordered something off of Zavvi it took, oooh, 240 hours or more to arrive. and in that time i got some 240 mails requesting i buy more, which is why that first order was nearly my last.

just what did they lure me in with? some as they call it "geek" t-shirts. the first offer, 10 (ten!) for £29.99 was enticing, but that's a lot of money to be parting with for 10 t-shirts what you don't need. a counter offer was made, offering 5 for £17.99. again, this seemed excessive so i passed.

the third offer, however, said £17.99 for 5, or £14.99 for 5 and some sort of Captain America comic, or if you will "graphic novel". so that they may feel as though i heard them, i condescended to agree on this one and placed an order. hence, five "random" t-shirts of "geek" provenance are mine.

right there above is the first out of the pack, then. the first thing what i noticed was how thin and of inferior quality the t-shirts are. after that, i of course observed that this t-shirt was some sort of homage or tribute to that Pac Man game, where one pops pills, sees ghosts, pops a super strong pill and can eat ghosts. nice that it has a mention of Tokyo on it, which is a place in Japan, i think you will find, unless i am very much mistaken.

an important part of the lure was the suggestion of what t-shirts you might get if you ordered. the tacit, implied promise was that they were t-shirts off things like Labyrinth, RoboCop (hopefully proper), Deadpool (whatever that is) and "many others". my random pile, evidently, came from "many others".

i actually have no idea whatsoever what the above is off. but for some reason it looks familiar. hang on, let me do one of them google things.

no. when i search for "glasses and cross bones" or "skull and cross bones glasses instead of skull" all i get is a lot of links to sell me glasses that you drink out of with a skull and crossbones logo or emblem on them.

perhaps this is off of Goonies, or that Harry Potter thing, then. or even Hook i guess. anyway, if you have any idea what "geek" related thing the above is off, and you can be bothered to do so, please let me know.

more arcade game related geek stuff then with the third shirt. this is a fairly standard American video arcade game machine sign, you would think. one knows it is American as it has 25c on it, which is a "quarter". much of America's problems, i suspect, come down to their insistence of using a "quarter" coin. just have regular denominations like what we do in the rest of the world and get on with your life.

do i have any intention of wearing these out in public? no. they are too thin and i suspect they will be quite "clingy", so should reveal more of my outrageous physique than i would care to share. i suppose for the most part they shall be worn for sleeping in, or on rare instances when i get to laze around the house for an entire day.

my rationale was that, at the price quoted, if one of them turned out to be decent and four not so much then it would be fair enough. instead, then, i have four "average" ones, really. they are not bad, i suppose, but they are not totes fab. i mean, if i saw them in a shop for £3 a go, like what i paid, i am not sure i would have picked them up and purchased. but maybe i would.

this one above excited me when i saw the bottom. at first all i saw was "Academy", in the familiar font of the Police Academy films. sadly, then, unfolding the entire t-shirt revealed it to be for a "mutant" academy rather than a police one.

i should have known, of course, as Police Academy is not for "geeks". well, the first four are not. ok, maybe the first three.

as far as either i or my (considerably) better half can work out, then, this one is something to do with that X Men business. that is the only thing we can think of what featured both mutants and a school. oh, hang on, maybe Class Of Nuke 'Em High. that would be cool.

finally, then, the mother lode of geek things in the form of Star Wars. except, well, this isn't that interesting. Hoth is kind of OK, because it featured in the same film what Lando and Lobot did. saying "Hoth Ski Gear", however, makes little sense. none of them went skiing in the film, and there was no ski gear in it at all that i am aware of.

so, that's the latest additions to my troublesome wardrobe. also, i guess, this is what happens when you take a punt or other form of gamble on what Zavvi offer as a "surprise" package. what do i think of it all? well, i am not disappointed, but also not left thrilled or feeling like i scored big time.

why it should do so is beyond me, but if this has been of interest or use to you then so much the better.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

black panther

hey there

ok, so we went off to watch that Black Panther film, look you see. the one what is the 357th "Marvel Universe" film to be made in the last decade or so. of the 472 or so they have made this one has, to be sure, been one of the most successful in terms of the important, business end of movies which is money, as well as with critics and fans of all 875 super hero films made to date.

with that in mind there is, i suppose, little or no point whatsoever me trying to offer a review of it here. it's a month or so since it came out, and with takings north of one billion dollars of the united states variety, i am pretty sure the world has made a decision on the film sans my verdict.

the reason for us going off to see it was partially why not; mostly as the 75% of my family who is not me really wanted to watch the movie. and so off we went, then.

no, i wasn't too interested or all that interested. at the least, not in terms of seeing it at the cinema. leaving aside the great cost of such a venture, i really tend to find all these Marvel films far, far too busy to watch on a massive screen. it, to me at the least, is far more enjoyable to wait for the disc to come along and lazily watch them whilst sat or laid on the couch.

as it turned out, yes the visuals were most impressive and that in the film, but the action sequences all just seemed far, far, far too busy to keep up with. i was uncertain as to who was twatting who, exactly, at several key points of plot developments explored via the medium of violence.

but yes, it's a pretty good film, this Black Panther. i am not sure it is the best of the recent batch. not that i could pick a "best", but it would be either Ant Man, Captain America Civil War, Guardians Of The Galaxy or maybe even that first Avengers one. or Thor Ragnarok or whatever it was called.

much of what Black Panther gets right is avoiding the colour by numbers plot which has dominated, if not prevailed, over the last 289 Disney / Marvel / Star Wars films made by pretty much the same people. far too many of the films have been "there is something bad / let us put a team or crew together and beat them", really. wisely, then, Disney appear to have directed the writers to other sources of inspiration. the result is a plot which "pays homage" to The Lion King mostly and Braveheart slightly. it turns out very well indeed.

there has been much said, mooted, discussed and celebrated about the fact that this is a huge, big budget film featuring predominantly black characters and a black hero. as a honky, albeit one flatteringly christened as an albino zulu by the elder of a gentle race, there is not much i can say, really. for what it is worth, i was not "aware" of watching black dudes or white dudes at any point, just really good characters in a decent story. the moments in which race were mentioned or referred to were relevant to the plot and not shoe horned in for the sake of it, or at least that is how it seemed to me.

yeah, cinemas seem to think it is perfectly normal and acceptable to charge 25p south of £3 for a bottle of water. no wonder so many sneak their own food and drink in with them. should you exclude lunch, the entire trip to the cinema for a family of four was just south of £60 in total. a great experience and that, but on a fiscal level the £15 blu ray disc of a film makes more sense. especially, but not exclusively, when you bear in mind you can pause the disc as and when you wish to make a bathroom visit.

so yes, if for some reason you have been wondering if Black Panther is worth a watch but thought you'd wait for my comments and review, yes it is worth watching.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that which was promised

hello there


it would not be just my friends and family, look you see, who thought it strange to see me write a piece on cars. undoubtedly several mechanic what i have encountered and, to be sure, engaged the services of would question whether or not i am someone who should speak of such forms of perambulators.

with that in mind, then, it is perhaps fortunate that i not trouble you with writing on cars per se, but rather the means by which they are powered. although, again, yes, many if not any of the above referenced would question my stance on this, since i merrily drive until for some reason the vehicle ceases to operate in the way hoped for or anticipates.

this is, i feel, all getting rather bogged down in stuff what does not matter. let me then simply add a picture or two here, and write of it, so as i may get to some form of point.

life has, of late, seen me do some travels. driving travels, too, except for the bits where i did not drive and made use of what remains of our better, simplified, more expensive and less frequent and less reliable railway system. in respect of the former, stopping from time to time, so as to quench the thirst of any given engine with some tasty oil based refreshment, is quite the necessity. i know this because a nice man with an overtly gruff manner who was carrying a can of such refreshment once told me this, but anyway.

stopping at places what let you (for money) give your vehicle of choice or assignment a drink has let me seen the above. they are what they call in the trade "electric petrol pumps", but no they are not as they boast neither petrol nor a pump mechanism. electric vehicle charging points is probably the better name for them. not probably, now i think on, correct.

nearly every fuel station i have had the pleasure of stopping at has either had these on the go or, as we shall see later (well, if you read on), is getting ready to unleash them. and this is a most splendid thing. perhaps i know only slightly more of science than i do of cars (although i got a D, or near enough, in O Level, or near enough, geography), but i am quite keen to accept that all this petrol and diesel car business is doing the planet no good, and that these electric powered cars will help do less harm.

yes, that's me on one of the brisk, clear and crisp (hello, Faye) days i was out travelling. hence the smile, really, as it is not so nice to be travelling when it is all wet and snow and rain. or windy.

behind me is a service station thing; one where i unwisely called in at Subway for what i thought would be a reasonably priced lunch, or if you will dinner. alas, no. service stations are renowned for selling food at a higher price than anywhere else, citing "operational costs" and other such nonsense. as it turned out, slightly higher costs in this instance involved charging me double for a standard meal. in most normal Subway stores a six inch sandwich and a drink will set you back £3, at the service place it was £6. lesson well and truly learned.

exactly what am i doing driving around? can't say much about it, although i cannot confirm it is not quite as interesting, secretive, exciting or as man meeting as the travels of my chum Spiros. mostly seeing things and having a listen to regional radio. with the latter, the broadcasts of Merseyside are most fascinating. i can recall being shocked, surprised and ultimately finding it quite remarkable how many people living in Liverpool, going about their business, had found themselves arrested by the coppers "for no reason whatsoever". hopefully this shall not be a long term problem.

that there is more of them electric vehicle charging points, except they are not quite so as such as yet. these were some i spotted what have been installed, but not yet active.

from what i gather the biggest quarrel or issue with electric vehicles thus far was the range of a charged vehicle vs the number of charging points. with this quite clearly being addressed, then, perhaps the ambition and dream of all vehicles being all electric within my lifetime shall come to be.

no, off the top of my head i have absolutely no idea who might be interested in any of the above. should it be that you have and you are, however, well then so much the better, and thank you for reading.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

back to some books

hello reader


well, look you see, after the last episode of this indulged in the theatrics of three books, back to just the two then. and, to be sure, proper books; none of this "ereader" business. although you can use one of them if you want to.

to start with, as ever, to be sure, how about a nice look at the covers of the two books what i read, and then something of a quick, spoiler free review or overview for those in a rush. yes? yes.

starting where i did, Then She Was Gone is an OK reasonable and engaging read, yet somehow manages to be somewhat banal and bland despite having interesting, dark material to work with. The Pleasure Of My Company by Steve Martin (yes, that one) is an often funny, somewhat whimsical sojourn through a story which isn't really much of a story yet feels like, actually, it is.

your warning is here, then. from this point on or further please do consider that a *** POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING *** is in place for both or either of the books. so, if you have seen the above, have gone "ooooh, let me read that", then off with you, go, be free to read that but no more of this, lest it tamper with your enjoyment. also, links are no sign or form of affiliation or endorsement from me; i just put them in to make it easy for you. what can i say, i am a nice guy, sometimes.

right, Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell. i believe Lisa Jewell is a writer who is as successful as she is popular, knowing as i write that they are possibly the same side of the same coin. to my knowledge, this is the first time i have read one of her books. and, despite it being not so bad, it will likely be the last, too.

provenance of my copy? yes, i know you can see the 2 for £7 sticker off of Tesco. however, i paid less than that. controversial, i know, but this was £2 if you spent 50p on a copy of The Sun, so i did, and ensured that the unwanted elements was soon placed in recycling.

the plot? a teenage girl has gone missing. well, she did, 10 years ago. the mother, who made no secret of how her missing child was indeed the favourite of her three, has patched together a life. she's separated and somewhat estranged from her other two children. unexpectedly and out of the blue a man enters her life. he's charming and soon becomes a lover. also, he has a family. one of the family is a young girl, one who bears an uncanny, indeed striking, resemblance to the loved daughter that went missing before she was born......

at heart there's a really good, dark, maybe macabre thriller of note hidden in the plot. alas, in deployment here it's all very pedestrian and straightforward. the flips between first and third person come at peculiar times; like when you've sussed the plot and so what narration comes is a little colour by numbers.

but, also, i mostly enjoyed reading it. i don't think i have made a secret of how much i am or was impressed by the premise, and wishing to follow that through saw me read it at some speed.  sadly when completed, though, my thoughts are simply "this book could and should have been so much more". perhaps i should, of course, set about writing and selling as many books as Lisa Jewell has before i start throwing them stones quite hard, though.

yet i am still here saying that this novel is probably worth your while reading? well, it is. don't be like me and get all hung up on how it could have been; perhaps you shall appreciate the book for what it is.

speaking of appreciation, i was delighted, then, to stumble upon a novel by legendary Steve Martin. The Pleasure Of My Company  be the name of this slender novel or generous novella, depending on how you want to measure and name.

the provenance of my copy? 50p, down the library. someone donated it. they did this after partial exposure to water or something went, for the first 20 or so pages have that "dried paper what was once wet" dips, bumps and thickness to them.

everyone has a "lame to fame", a tenuous claim to knowledge of someone famous. mine is that once, some 30 years ago, i, briefly, knew a lady who worked as a receptionist at a tennis club what Steve Martin briefly considered joining. so yes, i feel obliged to disclose that i have a tight, personal bond with the author.

plot? one sort of emerges, or strings come together, after around 100 pages, or if you like 66% in to the book. the narrator, Daniel, lives a sort of breezy, whimsical life, content as he is with patent OCD issues and ever keen to brush aside any matters in his past which may be the root of a hinted at depression. his fantasies about people and his real engagements with them are often difficult to tell apart. certain realities come, however, and, well, Daniel finds his footing in life.

many - several - moments in this book are genuine, bona fide, real, actual laugh out loud moments. it does my heart good - a lot of good - to know that the comedy genius behind things like The Jerk and, in particular, The Man With Two Brains, still very much "has it", despite seemingly slumming his film career for, oh, 20+ years now. there is a temptation to quote some of the lines, for i believe they would stand alone out of context as funny, but no, rather not let me spoil it.

if you want deep, considered and reflective, then seek another book. this one exists in that whimsical, breezy, easygoing and probably fictitious version of how life in California is supposed to all be. yes, i would strongly recommend this slender book, for both fans of Steve Martin and anyone looking for an easy going, often heartwarming and rather funny read.

and so that's all of that done, then. hopefully this has been of the slightest or in passing of interest to someone out there, somewhere!

should nothing else have happened, hopefully you found my "lame to fame" claim to be the saddest, most pathetic and desperate thing you have heard as a hopeless sense of celebrity touch. on a scale of impressive things in the world, i do believe my claim sits just slightly north of such claims to fame made by Sammy Hagar and Mr Kim Kardassian, but all the same is well south on the overall list.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the obscenity

heya

admonishing or otherwise taking banks to task is, look you see, something what should be done with care. not just banks, per se, but financial institutions. they tend, to be sure, to have a good deal of clout and muscle, after all. 

the mind plays tricks on one. as there is no conspiracy theory around this perhaps i recall wrong, but i seem to remember that just before that massive, worldwide global meltdown there was something of an international investigation - a taking to task, if you like - about banking charges. so, hopefully, this little insignificant blog post of mine does not cause similar upset and sees banks around the world crash, just to say what happens when we question them. 

now then. a "bug bear" or gripe of many is the fact that some people think it is perfectly acceptable to charge you for access to your own money. we should probably get angrier about this than we do, to be honest. so as to fan the flames of such anger, here's a familiar sight for all too many. 

oh, dear, the image appears to have uploaded sideways on my side of the screen. perhaps this is some sort of omen or warning. anyway, assuming you can see it correctly, yes. that is a cash machine seeking to charge the user the sum of £1.99, which i think you will find is 1p south of £2, to access your own money.

it's frustrating, for sure, and feels quite unfair. yes, banks must make money to keep going as a going concern (well make money or seek a government bail out), but isn't that what charging interest on loans and overdrafts does for them?

cash is, i suppose, if not on its way out then of less frequent use. what with cards of debit and credit, smart phone things that pay, that paypal thing, google wallet, bitcoin and just plain theft, cash is perhaps no longer the preferred means of payment. this of course does not detract from the vast benefits of cash. for a start, cash is 100% tax free. also, certain vendors and professionals operate on a strictly cash only basis.

any interesting selfies of moi to share in this post? how about a nice bit of me stood by some distressed trees by an unspecified bit of unused land in Pontefract.

yes, the above is indeed part of the new way here on this blog this year. no more shall i triumph the fact of how you like others more than me; you are on my blog so a bit of a gander at me from time to time is perfectly acceptable and, i would think, agreeable.

our fractured world often means we have to be sensitive and dance around certain matters. well, fig with that. one of the many principles of islamic banking and finance i like is that it is forbidden to earn or make money from money. money should be made from goods and services. clearly, them what run the charges and that for people using an atm to access their own money disagree with this point.

have i, you wonder, on my travels seen anything peculiar or interesting casually, so to speak, tossed into garbage and vehemently discarded? yes.

the package appears to be empty, and do i did not elect to go digging in garbage, thank you. going on the size of the box, however, i confess i do wonder by what definition the item in question is realistic. 

what's the answer to this business of financial institutions charging us to access our own money? i have no idea, in truth. just don't use machine or facilities which charge, i guess, is the best case. but then again those who impose the charges are somewhat ruthless, and only appear to activate such in locations where they are the only means of accessing your own money. 

right, that's that for another mostly or at the least partially exciting post. more to follow, as and when, dear reader, as and when. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hallowed be thy eternal name

now then


and so it ends. once again, look you see, the bold, stark reality of how nothing lasts forever has been ruthlessly exposed to us; we who are little more than wounded animals simply trying to survive on the basis of an instinct to live we cannot comprehend, only obey.

his excellency, his most righteous, his supreme idealistic ambassador for the very best of us mere mortals trapped within the confines of humanity, Jim Bowen, has passed. no more is he of this world, one he was superior to but infinitely humble and proud to be a part of.

my efforts to gather my thoughts into coherent words are, to be sure, at the best of times doomed to fail. instead, then, let me pay tribute here by means of giving you the links to blog posts i have done on this most wonderful man over the years.

Phil Collins Guest Appearance (allegedly) 

The Dark Secrets of Bullseye

Crafty Cockney

Bullseye Christmas Gang Bang (allegedly)

Fashion Week

undoubtedly there are many, many, many more blog posts i have done what feature his excellency, but those are the ones which came to mind. well, came to mind and turned up when i did a quick search.

as you remember that there's nothing in this game for two in a bed, that there is always BFH if nothing else, and of course that you should relax and listen to Tony, please also remember that if the world was just a little bit more like Jim Bowen then it would be a whole lot better for it.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

someone to shame us, some brave apollo, someone to fool us

hello there


well, yes. as is appropriate when i "go off on one" on this particular subject, a congratulatory confirmation, look you see. indeed you are all right, who shake their heads or tut so - smoking is, no matter what the exact nature or science or study of it, not good for you. how bad it actually is, and, to be sure, what harm it causes others (i am thinking of the precious people who somehow survive yet have to cough when they see someone smoking on the other side of the street, at the end of the same road) is debatable. but no, not good for you.

anyway, with that disclaimer or sorts in place, let me crack on.

of late, it has to be said, i have not had all that much of stuff to celebrate. no. far be it from me to bore you with the dreary details, but there has been some tough times. the darkness fades with the creeping of the lights, however, and whilst perhaps not all free and clear to enjoy days of wine and roses it is decidedly that Ribena and carnations (or similar) are the order of the day.

with such i felt a treat was due. indeed, others wholeheartedly suggested such; as point of fact on more than one instance insisted. and so i did, to be sure. i treated myself. what with? that which my heart and my mind, despite knowing better, crave the most. yes, Marlboro Red.

yes, indeed, your attention and your intentions are all formally drawn to the warning about damage to your lungs on the packet. i know you can all see that, but for reasons of clarity, there you go.

now. how does one explain the difference between Marlboro Red and all (or most) other cigarettes to a non-smoker, exactly? this i feel is important to understand why it is a treat. think triple distilled, aged whiskey vs cheap and nasty. think a premium lager vs supermarket brand lager. think Yorkshire Tea, or Fortnum & Mason tea, vs any other brand of tea. think Parker, or Mont Blanc, pen vs a pack of 50 pens for £1 off of Poundland. i suppose, even, think 2 or 3 ply toilet paper vs 1 ply wax or sand paper like toilet rolls.

for me, then, Marlboro Red offers the personification of a perfect smoking experience. they're smooth, lovely and a pleasure to smoke. quite different from the other (lesser, if we are honest) cheaper brands which i must settle for, which are coarse and crude but ultimately get the job of satisfying a craving, and addiction and i dare say dependency sorted out.

the barrier to smoking Marlboro Red all the time? cost. i am fortunate as friends, notably Spiros and indeed the Child of the Condiment Phoenix from time to time bring me Marlboro from lands where they do not cost quite so much. here, in this England, the price is prohibitively high. well, for my budget at the least.

i have every confidence that yes, you are reading the above correctly and all proper. a packet of Marlboro Red here in England (and presumably Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland) does indeed cost £10.98. that's considerably north of £10, or if you like just 2p south of £11. when you consider the average smoker, or in this instance simply just me, would get through the business end of a packet a day, you will in your mind note that the cost is formidable. so yes, that is why they are exclusively a treat for me.

the pack of Players Red pictured are the ones i have found, thus far, to be the cigarettes that are "not too bad" and the lowest cost ones available legally. sadly no, i am not a familiar of anyone who sells the dodgy, knocked off or illegally imported ones; though i am open to such a friendship. even then, these "cheap" ones come in, at best, at £7.65 a packet.

one of the more interesting aspects of the "project fear" campaign run by those who wanted the UK to remain in the EU was hammering on about how much money everyone would lose if we left. a rather better approach, perhaps, would have been for George Osborne to preach the benefits of staying from a financial aspect. had he, in his wisdom, elected to announce "if we vote to stay in the EU then we shall reduce the tax levels on fags so that they are as cheap here as they are in the rest of the EU", a rough guess would have been around at least 1,000,000 (one million) more votes for "remain". i am pretty sure i mentioned this at the time; had David "call me Dave" Cameron or George "call me [text removed on legal advice]" Osborne listened, then perhaps they would still have the jobs they wanted and not the ones they have had to settle for. it's not the first time i have been ignored and it shall not be the last.

yes, indeed, the one thing sadder than the prohibitive cost of Marlboro Red is what they have done to the appearance of them. sure, they taste the same, but still, come on. that beautiful, sleek, elegant and masterful work of design what was the Marlboro Red iconic package has been replaced by something quite generic. if we are honest about it, the colour of Marlboro Red packets - and all cigarettes which are legally for sale in the UK - is now that which you imagine Theresa May picks to paint her walls, such is her imagination.

flowers and trees all do basically the same thing, and yet nature allows them to be all colours. in human terms, for some reason bookies, betting adverts, alcohol and a whole load of other vices are free to brand as they will, using a wide range of colours. i don't get why cigarettes now have to look so bland. oh, well, with our general acceptance of bland and limitation in society, it shall not be long before all products are made uniform. Winston Smith, where are you when needed most.

society is, on the whole, fickle. and yet still it prevails that smoking is to blame for all wrong with it. oh, if only everyone stopped smoking, they cried, then things would be better. in particular the NHS. well, no. from 1976 to 2016 the UK population who smokes has fallen from around 50% to south of 16%. the most dramatic fall in this % has been the last ten years, when increased prices and smoking bans have taken effect. and yet, still, each year more and more money is required to keep the NHS going. it's not just smokers who cost all the cash, then. an inconvenient truth that few with political aspirations will say is the obvious - this drive for healthier lives in which we live longer means a bigger, older population who need more and more health care. go figure.

how fickle? it was only 2 or 3 years ago - perhaps more recent - where everyone was up in arms over the idea of their phone messages, emails, texts, calls, etc all being somehow "hacked", monitored or listened to. lots kicked off about the invasion of privacy, etc. and now, all of a sudden, everyone is rushing to get these things off of Amazon, Google, Apple and Microsoft in your home. the ones that sit and listen to you all the time, 24/7, recording the data who knows where.

and of course let us not forget casual double standards.  how we cry and demand gender equality, whether gender by birth or gender we chose to identify as, or have society conveniently identify for us. this equality is demanded right up to the point, of course, when a lady of her own choosing elects to pursue a career in which being a lady is part of it, then unknown forces say "no, you cannot choose that career".

but, alas, no. minds will not be changed on smoking. so long as it is portrayed as the great evil (and it most decidedly is not good), it is the thing which people can see as the worst thing in the world. having focus on one bad thing which must be eliminated stamps out worry on other things, you see, and makes it seem like something must be done.

from now on, then, i suppose i shall have to reserve the treat of a pack of Marlboro Red for those special occasions. i am thinking Royal weddings, births and deaths, maybe. purchasing a pack on such occasions would be an understandable and excusable indulgence. also, as and when that wretched Theresa May is finally ousted from a job she cannot do and never actually wanted to do (she clearly hates people). on that day perhaps i will chainsmoke an entire pack in celebration.

oh, yes, for what it is worth, i thoroughly enjoyed the one packet i had. quite worth it.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!