in honour of sir roger

who is and who isn't

it was so that, recently, it was in Manchester (in the area). this did not go well, alas. well, aspects of it were all right. very much not in the "all right" section was the (it claimed) hotel, look you see. my review of it is out there on the internet for those interested. 

but, no, no negative waves, then. very much as positive was seeing that one place in Manchester had opted to pay homage and respect Sir Roger Moore. 

quite an impressive mosaic, or mural if that happens to turn out to be the right word. probably something which begins with an m, but i am not one of them arty types. the name of it, truth be told, is not that important. what's great here is that Sir Roger is being celebrated. 

this is, of course, not the first time i have had chance to see somewhere pay respect to Sir Roger. if one is particularly interested then one may well wish to click here and see another place. a confession would be that i am not immediately sure (or certain) of any direct connection to Manchester (rave on) and Sir Roger, except of course that everywhere misses him dearly and so would of course wish to express how excellent he truly was. 

yes, as you may well be able to see quite clearly above, i did indeed make the pilgrimage to Salford Lads Club for the inevitable picture. actually, as point of fact, i went no less than 3 (three) times, but this is the images you can see the least of me in which i thought may be nice. unfortunately it was closed in each instance of my visit. i would have very much liked to make a donation to this famous to those in the know place, and perhaps picked up some merchandise. maybe i will do one of them online order things. 

damn that update to my phone what has a camera welded to it which made the Commodore 64 mode camera cease to work. it would have been wonderful to have presented at least one of these images in the form of the greater good and glory of Commodore 64 mode, but not to be. 

who is and who isn't. who is and who isn't

one tree hill

tena koe

yes, then, more stuff off of New Zealand, look you see. actually (not that chronology matters too much with how i have done all of this) one of the first things what i gone done whilst there. like, i went here before i went off and bought tapes or anything. 

where the here is from the previous paragraph is, as the title probably gave you every indication, One Tree Hill. my sister, knowing full well how my brain (or mind) appears to function, kindly made it a priority for me to visit the place. perhaps just to "get it out of my system", or being aware how important i hold symbolic things like this, yet maybe just because it's a beautiful place. 

for clarification, if such should be required, no, this has absolutely nothing to do with some television show called One Tree Hill. never seen it, but i believe it to be quite highly regarded by a devout set of fans. this, what with my love of things like Twin Peaks and that, i can relate to. 

needlessly starting another paragraph to pad it all out here, my interest in One Tree Hill was purely based on the song One Tree Hill off of U2. it's one of the most beautiful, powerful, poignant, heartbreaking and ultimately defiant songs what i have ever heard. as i write this i keep sort of stopping and sing parts (or aspects) of it. no, i don't have a good singing voice, yet oddly once someone mistook me for a "slightly chubby Bono". 

by the way yes, i do indeed appear in every picture. sorry, i should have put some sort of warning about that, as weirdly a number of you like reading this but (absolutely) do not harbour any wish to actually see me. one or two of you, i suppose, would like to see images of me in distress or perhaps even pain, which is understandable. who knows, one day you may get that for what you wish.

one or two of you, i suspect, with have noted (observed, even) that there isn't actually a tree on One Tree Hill no more. various accounts are out there explaining why. the monument has taken its place, but if i recall right a special, native tree is being grown (cultivated?) to stand there eventually. still, just the name of the place creates such a vivid image in the mind. well, mine at least. 

as you can see above, yes, 80% of the human elements of the Farnworth family were with me. sorry, Grant enthusiasts, but he elected to go work that day, propping up the economy or whatever. i am not all that sure either Daniel or Katie were all that aware of my wishes to visit the place, but all the same were delighted to. not only did it give them chance to spend time with this up to now mythical Uncle Lee character, there was also a most splendid cafe. in respect of the latter, the French toast was superb, and we accidentally gatecrashed a 90+ birthday party. 

someone, a good friend, did see these pictures what you have glanced at and asked if i, as point of fact, actually made it all the way up to the top. no, to be frank (or blunt). i am pretty sure it was due to me still getting acclimatised or what have you, and not any general levels of unfitness what might have led to me begging please let us stop. reason enough, if one was needed, to go back one day and really have a right good go at going all the way, so to speak. 

certainly there is some video (above), if you were intent on asking of such existed. well, kind of. this isn't video (in VHS mode) taken at One Tree Hill, but rather of it. helpfully the place was pointed out to me whilst we were up (rather than down) in the Sky Tower. for those interested, here is the link to that particular adventure from my odyssey. if you are not interested, apologies for the seconds of your life which you shall never get back which you spent reading this. this bit too. 

many would say that i have no heart in the emotional sense, that i am incapable of caring, yet possess some despicable skill which enables me to wear a mask that makes it seem to those who don't know me that i actually have feelings. in the end it may well be that they are shown to be right. all i know is that visiting this place with my family created a whole new, seemingly indelible association, far beyond just the song which led me there. on my flight home i played One Tree Hill in the U2 form and found myself uncontrollably crying my eyes out. 

getting either closer to or further from the point, i would have no idea if One Tree Hill is on the list for most tourists heading to New Zealand. if we are honest there are so, so, so many incredible things to do and sights to see. once again it is highly unlikely (and would be extraordinary) that anyone is here looking for any sort of useful information or tourist guidance, but if so, yes, yes, it very much is well worth the visit. even if you are not that bothered about the song. perhaps a trip there will lead to you hearing it and appreciating it. or, you know, just enjoy the time there. 

not too sure there's that many more adventures from my Aotearoa odyssey to tell, or pictures to showcase. in respect of the latter, i was surprisingly inclined not to snap away, instead enjoying the moment. people in this modern world which i do not understand may do well to do the same. but yes, probably other pictures to show, tales to tell. 

i don't believe in painted roses or bleeding hearts. 

kia pai tetahi ki tetahi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

flytipping

hi

i am really, really missing not being able to take images in the greater good and glory of Commodore 64 mode. oddly the quasi, accidental replacement - VHS mode - kind of works here, look you see. but, still, what am i to do? procure a second, older camera that C64 mode remains working on and carry it with me at all times? surely such would make me look like a bigger toss than what is usual. 

moving on (or forward), then, and yes, another glimpse of something what i saw on my travels. no instance of a potential accidental discarding here, for as the title gives you every indication of being it's all the mostly illegal art of flytipping here. or fly tipping (fly-tipping) if that is the more better was of spelling it. 

as you can see (if you look) above, it was a whole pile of DVD discs what i saw as having been discarded. yes, presented in VHS mode, then. i didn't go actively looking for these, by the way, as point of fact i had not even noticed them as i parked close by. 

why would one ditch, illegally or otherwise, a whole great big pile of these discs? the way of the world these days. quite a few, perhaps a slight majority (52-48, say) seem to have embraced all of that streaming business, be it legally or otherwise. lots of discs appear to end up in charity shops and what have you, or landfill. so far as i could see, and the discs (and boxes) all appear to have been heavily water damaged, but still it looks like a few of them might be old school pirates and thus wouldn't be taken in as a donation off of charity shops. 

to be honest i had better things to do than look at the discs all that closely. mostly, though, it appears someone ditched a stack of copies of Only Fools & Horses and Harry Potter films. somewhere in there, though, there was, i noted, what seemed to be a perfectly serviceable copy of Boogie Nights. anyone who would carelessly discard this fine film wants locking up. 

present market rates have current (or recent) released DVDs going for £10 here in the UK, with a blu ray disc of the same being £15. this i prefer, as then i can watch what i want when i wish, rather than subscribing to several (official) online services to find what i fancy. my understanding is that the less formal, more independent free for all streaming services find you needing to, farcically, pay a subscription to pirates. sure, "free" illicit streaming is out there, but generally is unreliable or loaded with adverts. gotta love capitalism. 

does anyone still do old school "download" piracy? most probably. i suppose, though, that downloading a film and then either recording a disc or putting it on a memory stick is, for this generation, far too much effort in the face of streaming. quite a peculiar thing to get nostalgic (or what have you) about, but then it doesn't seem all that long ago downloading and recording seemed amazing. 

not sure if there shall ever be a "revival" of films in physical media form as became the case with books over fancy e-readers and albums over streaming. sure, there are pockets of people who collect VHS tapes (Beta, too), but for buying actual copies of films on disc i do feel a bit like a part of a dwindling if not quite dying breed. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mostly statues

tena koutou

initially i thought this might be a set of random images. yes, look you see, further ones off of my sojourn, or if you like odyssey, to New Zealand. however, after having had a look at the pictures what i curated if not selected, it does seem a good many of them feature statues. not ones what have (thus far) been relocated to (or in) bodies of water, but left mostly where they were intended to be. hence the title. 

so, right, well, further images (pictures), then. grouped together in a way that kind of makes sense, but in no particular chronological order. random has been the way of life thus far so why would i take any different way here. 

first off, then (above) one of them statues what i mentioned. this one was one i saw, i believe, in the area of Lake Taupo (here) during a quite rare wandering around alone moment. whereas i cannot 100% confirm such i would imagine it's reasonably safe to suggest that this, other than magnificent, a Maori statue. or carving. there were a few, but this one caught my eye. or eyes. 

no, i didn't really have much "alone" time whilst there, bar sleep, bathroom and various interactions with customs officials about cigarette lighters. this was very much by design, for i went off to be with family and not make it a solo voyage. 

chainsaws have always been a "thing" for me, so the above statue was quite the find. well, i suppose it was more in my youth that chainsaws were more of a thing. mostly due to key scenes in Scarface and, probably in particular, Evil Dead II. sure, Texas Chainsaw Massacre too, but it took quite a while to see that film. i am not sure if they still make many smart films with chainsaw stuff in, but it would seem as i got older (rather than younger) i don't actively look for them. 

very many things in New Zealand were an absolute delight to see, discover and behold. actually just about everything there, except the price of cigarettes. small (well, large, but still) price to pay, that. in the top percentage of excellent NZ things is where L&P resides. and here's one of two (2) massive statues of bottles of L&P i found. 

yes, indeed, that is me (moi) in the picture with it. apologies, or sorry, for the abstract lack of warning in regards of having to see me. should it help you out in deciding if you read more of this (or not) indeed it is so that i feature in a couple more pictures below. 

more importantly, then, L&P. or Lemon and Paeroa, to give a full title. whilst in Aotearoa i did of course wish to sample local wares as and when such was possible. with me not being all that much of an alcohol drinker it was so that i wished to try a local non-alcoholic drink, so gave this L&P a go. and just as well that i did, for i discovered a truly brilliant drink. quite the favourite now. 

readers in the UK (and possibly elsewhere) are in for something of a surprise here, if not shock. yes, it is so that L&P is a lemon drink, but it's one that is sweet. my experience of UK sold lemon drinks is that they are made to be as sour as possible. that would be, i suppose, quintessentially the English way of doing things in full effect. if they can't make it or serve it to you bland then sour it is. 

as is the case with various other statues i have done this with i am not exactly sure what value, if any, there is in doing a video of one (a statue), but yes, here you go. or we are. video of the one L&P statue below, for your brief viewing pleasure. 

it is so that New Zealand is celebrated (or known) for many things. with respect to this century we are presently residing in, one that i tend not to understand as much as the previous, certainly the nation is know for providing both the set for and the director of the Lord Of The Rings films. also them other ones, from what i remember, Hobbit, but i don't believe i watched (or endured) those. 

from what i recall my review of Lord Of The Rings was "nine hours of midgets wandering somewhat aimlessly across a field". when asked for a further review i think i embellished it to reference the occasional moaning about breakfast, as well as mentioning how they could have just flown on one of them massive birds and thrown the ring into the volcano instead of walking there. yes, they were extremely well made films, impressively so, but the whole story or "mythology" did little for me. 

bit of a slightly awkward scenario, then, when Mum & Dad offered to take me to Hobbiton, the set or what have you where they made at least three, possibly all six (if there are that many) of the films. oh. i said thank you, but such a trip would be more appropriate should James, William or my (former) (considerably) better half were to visit. Dad was slightly disappointed as he had heard that breakfast was something special there (go figure), but did mention that it was apparently very expensive, so perhaps for the best not to go if i was not that fussed. 

yet still we kind of stopped off in the area, or vicinity, as the picture above and below show. indeed there is an image of me below, so you have been warned. Matamata was close enough to the set for me, allowing chance to get some pictures and postcards. 

certainly i am aware that there is every chance some of you reading this disagree, perhaps quite strongly, with my review of Lord Of The Rings and associated films. well, the important thing is you probably enjoyed them, don't worry so much about me. if it helps i seem to recall an adventure game based on it on the Commodore 64. one could instruct one of the midgets to hit another, and then the game went on an infinite loop of them all hitting each other. that was quite class. 

right now you are potentially longing for some more statue based images, since that is what was mostly suggested as being here. well, ok, another one from Matamata. 

this truly was a magnificent statue of a racehorse. indeed i did tale a few pictures which showed off just how magnificent it looked, but instead i have elected to showcase a picture of me stood next to it. you could always make a visit there yourself to see it in full. 

now, then, a case of me "falling" for one of Dad's jokes. but, some scene setting. as readers of my other posts about New Zealand may recall (probably not, but still) i was rather surprised by the lack of sheep around. it was explained to me that cattle (mostly cows) was now the biggest export. i asked Dad about this as we drove around. he commented that i should watch out for a special breed of really big cows. 

ah. bravo Dad, quite a good set up, for he knew that we were to drive through a town which had a truly enormous cow statue on display. i got caught with that one fair and square. yes, look at that amazing, beautiful blue sky too. 

perhaps one or two of you would like a slightly closer look at this, the last statue picture in this post. whilst it was tempting to get Dad to pull over so i could get a better picture, and undoubtedly have a cigarette too (sorry), instead here's one as we drove closer to it. 

enough with the cows, then, or at least for now. if not right now. to clarify, or for those interested, yes, the cows (cattle) wandering around New Zealand which were not statues seemed to be pretty much regular size. by no means did i see the whole country, so who knows, perhaps they really do have some ones as big as this wandering around somewhere. 

did i do any shopping in New Zealand? goodness me yes. mostly for cigarettes and L&P, but also for other stuff. there seemed (or appeared) to be no real need for me to take images of much of what shopping i did, except for this instance. 

unless i am somewhat mistaken (possibly am) Kmart is (or was) a fairly large chain in that America place. so far as i am aware it's mostly Australian and New Zealand now, but on the off chance that it remains a thing in the states a picture seemed appropriate. 

indeed i did make a purchase at Kmart, a rather smart t-shirt which looks like it shall fit. on the t-shirt is a celebration of the Kick album off of INXS. it is one i am looking forward to wearing. however, i have to choose the right moment. it's a predominantly white shirt, which translates into being a "wear once" shirt with my proclivity for being a bit clumsy and messy. 

right, well, that's that for another look at the odyssey. yes, i do have a fair few more pictures to post. at the least two (2) sets. these are things i shall do likely sooner than later. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

effective, kind of sort of

greetings

possibly one of those posts that has some practical value to it then. but, well, do please note that i made a conscious decision to use the word possibly, look you see. for those in a rush, or simply wishing to know what and avoid any needless suspense, the use of some of that nicotine gum stuff instead of actual, real, proper cigarettes. cigarettes, of course, picked up by duty free or off of an independent importer and distributor, since our tw@t government has made it clear they don't want us to buy them legally no more. 

as a frame of reference, or to set a scene, it was recently (see most posts of late but particular emphasis on this one) that i was in a position where i could not smoke. yes, smoking is very bad for you, seek help to quit, don't start, and so forth. moving on, it was that i could not smoke for rather prolonged periods, in particular two (2) stints of over 18 hours each. oh dear. if you didn't click on the link (don't blame you) it was due to me being on one of them plane things, the ones that i had vowed not to use again. 

not that many people what know me would bother to comment on me, instead rather (wisely) concentrating on the idea of not knowing me. the select few who would are likely to suggest that a defining characteristic of me is that i smoke, or that every now and then i stop to take in some regular air as a slight break from inhaling cigarette smoke. it would be that they were rather fascinated with how i would cope with not being able to do so for such a long time, and exactly how many of my fellow passengers would survive this. options for the safety of other passengers were considered.

most people suggested nicotine patches. those who had similar experiences had used them and said they were excellent at getting one through. i was assured these were available gratis off of our NHS, and all one had to do was go to a chemist (pharmacy) and request them. as it turned out they actually make it quite the f*** on to get them, so no. with vaping out (i didn't like it when i tried it anyhow) i procured what you can see above, which is no not the newly acquired Bowie coasters but the nicorette nicotine gum. 

i had every intention of giving it a try before i flew. however, this did not happen. sheer laziness perhaps, or maybe something more constructive, like assuming if i tried it and didn't like it this would make the flight (anticipation of and actual) more stressful. leaving it to a situation where it was the only choice and theoretically had to do made sense. not every decision i make which would appear to make sense to me makes actual sense, true. but, still. 

unexpectedly, but partially anticipated, i did not actually feel like smoking on the flights. there's the whole psychology of it, i suppose, of how when you know that you can't your mind is sort of at peace in not doing so, and going without cigarettes for an insane number of hours was, overall, a very small price to pay for such a wonderful trip. also, i did smoke an entire pack before the first flight over the needless distress around that visa which isn't a visa. 

yet still i tried some of this gum. obviously not the packet (or strip) on display above. my thinking was that the closer we got to landing, etc, the more likely it was that i would commence some form of craving for a cigarette (or two), and so decided to try it as a pre-preemptive strike thing. it has been a fair bit of time since i have had any form of gum, but to my mind (or rather taste) this seemed like just a regular, normal gum. as in i wasn't immediately aware of any nicotine being present. certainly no burning or stinging feeling. a difficult one to test, really. there would be no point giving some to a fellow smoker to see what they thought as they'd be like me, and giving it to a non-smoker who happened to like gum anyway would bring the risk of getting them addicted to nicotine. i would suggest, though, that the yellow like mush the gum turns into gives every indication that oh yes, some nicotine was very much present. 

oh, yes, now i remember, i did give some of this gum (an entire strip) to a fellow smoker. whilst sat in the smoking area at Dubai airport i got chatting to a nice bloke off of Austria. or was it the Danish bloke or the German fellow. well, anyway, he asked how i got on with no smoking on the flight, and i told him about the gum. it was not something he had heard of, so i gave him a strip to try and wished him well on his travels. yes he reciprocated with the wishes. 

the provenance of my nicorette gum? it was on sale for £10, which i think is about half of the usual retail price. vaguely seem to recall i got it off of Superdrug, but it might have been one of them supermarket things. each square i chewed (or what you do with gum) lasted well over an hour. 

for what it's worth, if i was ever going to quit (!) or cut down considerably on cigarettes, i really rather suspect this gum stuff would do the job. had i any sense, or will for self preservation, i would probably commence such an experiment now. but, it's me, so no. good luck to all of those who wish to try this approach to achieve that, and maybe this has helped. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at mangawhai

hello there

so more things of New Zealand, then. yes, i do indeed have a few more images and stories to share, look you see. not quite sure, as in i don't rightly know, who would have an interest in such, but, well, so as to say this again (or once more), here we are. 

as part of the planning of my odyssey it was so that my sister booked all of us in for a week at a place called Mangawhai. well, when i say all, like, you know, family. it would undoubtedly have been lovely to take everyone (not already there) in New Zealand with us, but that would have been likely frightfully expensive to do so. one cannot throw their arms around the entire world. 

the most interesting this is my inability to recall the name Mangawhai. you would think i could, since a significant percentage of my time in Aotearoa was spent there, but hey, me. it is likely that both Katie and Daniel would take delight in telling you the various names i used for the place. from what i can recall at times i called in Waghamaga, Mangawangamoo or similar. 

oh goodness me, yes, there are quite a few pictures of moi in this post. as point of fact i believe that i feature in all of them. so, once again, if for some reason you come here to read this but have a preference (to be fair an understandable one) not to actually see me, you may wish to do some deft swiping. or, you know, take it all in. 

which (or what) body of water am i stood in there? the Pacific Ocean, i believe. some of good memory, or simply like to take me apart, may recall that i made a vow not to stand in any significant body of water again unless it was the Aegean. it's also that i vowed never to get on a plane of any description again, what can i say i am not to be trusted. 

no, i didn't go swimming in it, just stood there, letting the water flow over my feet. i did take some swimming attire with me, but didn't wear it that day. believe me, there's a very provocative image of this to follow, kind of. it would be unfair to say that i elected not to swim in this ocean due to an unfounded fear of sharks, but that's up to you. 

from my side there's no issue whatsoever if them what do the tourism promotion (advertising) for the place (Mangawhai) wish to use the above image. yes, i am wearing both my preferred hat and them sunglasses i got what i for some reason think are quite Natural Born Killers. further yes, i am indeed enjoying a nice cigarette (sorry), as there were no "no smoking" signs and i disposed of it when done in a responsible, dolphin friendly way. 

did i spent a great deal of time at the beach? not as much as you might think. i mean, yes, it is famous for being, and celebrated as a splendid coastal beach resort. i am just not really all that much of a beach person, alas. for those looking for smart beach places, well, yes, i would say with confidence that Mangawhai excellent, but also i am not all that qualified in this. 

sadly i don't have any pictures of them, but something which really caught my attention at Mangawhat was the many "cliffside" houses i saw. they were beautiful. far, far beyond the reach of my humble budget, and rather a distance from my place of verk. one or two of them very much reminded me of that most excellent house in my beloved Body Double, which was excellent.

yes, that's me with Mum and Dad, enjoying an ice cream in a sort of cliff like area above the beach like area. oddly, sadly (maybe) there aren't anywhere near as many pictures of me with Mum and Dad, or the rest of the family, as you might think. but not everything has to be documented, some experiences shall linger on as memories for all the time one has. yes, for those who(m) for some reason looked at my feet, i am indeed wearing some dapper slides. Gill insisted i get some. 

did Mum and Dad have a good time? yes. it was a delight to spend as much time as possible with Mum, with just family time really being my only ambition. as a plus we got to play 2's and 8's, along with other games. in regards of Dad, well, he did (very much) Dad things. one particular incident probably warrants its own paragraph, so. 

there was the one morning i woke up, went through to the kitchen and found Dad already up. it was not, from what i remember, the morning he elected to wake up so as to watch Middlesbrough FC labour to a draw. he, on seeing me, advised me that he "urgently required an aids test". i suggested, in a most insistent way, that i would really prefer to have at least one (1) cup of coffee and a cigarette (sorry) before going any further with the conversation. this i did. it turns out that what he actually wanted was one of them 'covid' tests (remember them?) but he had been reading the Bernie Taupin book and, having a bit of a fever, got somewhat confused. 

more on all of that shortly, but first, to punctuate the prose, another pic. and yes, one of them selfie type ones, taken by my sis, Gill, who is the one with the smart Bono like sunglasses that isn't me in the above picture. from what i can recall Daniel and Grant were off being busy looking for sharks in the water, whilst i decided to have another cigarette instead. 

so, tests and Dad. actually, discretion and privacy says that i cannot say all that much more. but what i can tell you is that yes, Mangawhai does indeed have a chemist (or pharmacy). i would not call the relationship what Dad struck up with the staff there (one member in particular) as being particularly constructive or beneficial, but still, all done now, i suppose. 

golf featured an awful lot more on my odyssey than i had either anticipated or expected. if that isn't saying the same thing twice over. any why not. the golf, that is, on the and why not, and not any form or type of semantic debate on language. 

it turned out that there was a minigolf course at Mangawhai. possibly more than one, but we found this one quite close to the chemist what Dad is probably now banned for life from. also it was across the road from a Four Square shop, where one could purchase cigarettes. generally all win, then. 

also it turned out that both Katie and Daniel were most keen on this form of golf. i found this to be splendid and most agreeable, as i enjoy it to. the bloke what ran the place was lovely, and in many respects symbolic of the friendly ways i found across the country. it was late on, so he charged us a lower price and said we were welcome to play a couple of rounds. nice one, man. 

video, of course, for you above, then. well, so long as you press play, as i don't believe the videos here play automatically. good that they don't, i find such things most annoying. rather fortunate that this video, taken by Daniel i believe (sorry if it was you Katie) features me actually managing to putt one shot. it may well be that i (very much) enjoy playing this variation of golf, but by no means does that mean i am any good at it. 

would i like to return (or go back) to Mangawhai one day? certainly. there isn't a single part of New Zealand that i saw which i would not dearly wish to see again. family, mostly, but truly they have all found a wonderful place to make home. granted, or sure, there might be some trepidation in returning to Mangawhai knowing that we might not be at all welcome at the chemist thanks to the sterling ambassador job Dad did there, but we could always just take a supply of pills, bandages and what have you with us, including aids tests. 

now then. earlier i promised (if not threatened) some visual evidence of my going (or doing some) swimming whilst there. such an image is below. one cannot unsee what they see, so do continue beyond these words of your own decision.

it is so that warned, you have been. 

around the time this picture was taken (obviously after) i shared it with friends on one of them social media platforms. yes, the book one. i chose to share it with the simple, humble and modest title of British Beefcake. this did not go down well. from what i recall the most polite and diplomatic responde i got to this was simply "where?". 

let me leave this here, then, for now. it is indeed so that there is now a dwindling level of images from my trip to share, you may be pleased, saddened or indifferent to learn. perhaps i shall mix them up with posts on other subjects, so as to make it all feel more closer. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gallagher squire

howdy pop pickers

an ever so slight break from doing posts about my odyssey to New Zealand, then. just a mere ten (10) or so days after it was released, behold, my comments (or musings, look you see) on the very welcome pairing up of Liam Gallagher and John Squire. well, no, yes, the album proper, after the single what came out not so long ago. 

so, is the album any good? yes, as it happens. i took custodianship of the tape (disc) on day of release via the miracle of our postal service. oddly i was actually in Manchester (in the area) on the very day it came out, but (alas) it was simply not possible for me go stop off and make a symbolic purchase of the record (in any format) there. still, upon receipt i have it a play, and then found myself just listening to it on repeat for the afternoon, four, maybe five, plays. 

in the lead up the release of Liam Gallagher John Squire by (ahem) Liam Gallagher and John Squire there were several reviews. these ranged from "paint by numbers rock album" to "the best thing either of them have done for decades". all down to the individual of course, but certainly it's much closer to the latter than the former. perhaps the most striking aspect is how fresh it is. also it's very, very, extremely unexpectedly, funny in parts. not Bad News or Spinal Tap funny, just actual "this line will be a laugh" thinking and delivery. 

to say that this is the best thing either has done "in decades" is really quite harsh. granted the last Oasis album was a sign it was all out of steam, but to discredit both of the Beady Eye albums and all three of Liam's solo albums is ludicrous. on a par with the highlights of his solo career would be fair. for Squire, well, he hasn't actually recorded all that much since 2004, bar two curious singles with The Stone Roses. so that's all a bit Bowie "his best and most important album since Scary Monsters" lazy review stuff. 

yes, with the way that record sales work these days, i appreciate that all and sundry interested in this paring with have bought the album during the week, if not on the day of, release. anything anyone says is not really going to influence someone to try and discover it. but, who knows, perhaps this blog of mine shall remain "live" and this will be read by someone, what, 20 or 30 years from now. hello from the past, if that's relevant to you. 

no dud tracks exist on this album. it is a taunt, well considered 40 minutes of pure great album stuff. all of the songs (and they get credited individually) were written by Squire, but it's nigh on impossible to even contemplate anyone but Liam Gallagher singing them. 

legacy? it is easy to say time will tell. forgive my own lazy comparisons, but the world just does not operate like it used to with vibes, man. no album, it seems, shall ever live beyond the moment, so disposable is the world. whatever they did here with this never ever stood any chance of the life of, say, albums like The Stone Roses, Definitely Maybe or Morning Glory. yet an intrinsic awareness of such exists on the record, very much a here and now, dig it and revel in it. 

considering his accepted wish for reclusive privacy it must have been one hell of an itch John Squire had that he felt needed this to scratch. working with Liam Gallagher is to put yourself in the biggest limelight which exists in the modern music world. in terms of the music it has paid off very well indeed for someone like me, a simple music fan. no idea if they will carry on working together, who knows, but just enjoy this moment for what it is.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

just how bad is it

heya

in regards to the what "it" is in the title, well, that would be the subject of smoking (cigarettes, look you see) down there in that New Zealand place. where, as regular readers (or recent ones of the last few posts) need not be told is somewhere that i have now been. and for some reason left. so here i am, as it were. no, this is not an endorsement or promotion of smoking, since doing so is (obviously) quite silly, but then why shy away from realities for (or of) those what do such. 

on the whole i think it's reasonably fair to say that New Zealand's stance on smoking is pretty much well known around the world. at the least, the stance of the previous administration. things have changed, but it was New Zealand that initially brought in a law which would very much ban all legal smoking in the country eventually, with a year on year increase in the legal age for buying cigarettes phasing out the purchase of them. 

as a heavy, committed and enthusiastic smoker i, believe it or not, welcomed this approach. usually governments are all "well we want to stop smoking but obviously we like the tax" so do nothing. oddly the incumbent (at time of writing) NZ government has cancelled the law and has at least been honest enough to say they want the tax money. still, i believe they are pushing ahead with this law in the UK. 

there you go, some of the warnings (presented in VHS mode) on the packs of cigarettes one gets in New Zealand. same crappy plain colour packaging, but decidedly different warning pictures. indeed i did look at all of these pictures and promptly ignored them. or at least did not let them stop me. 

mostly the issue with smoking these days is the outlandish thing it gets to be in modern society. somehow lots of people just decided to agree that smoking is absolutely the worst thing in the world, and is to blame for everything wrong. remember how in the 80s and 90s it was all "well if we got rid of smoking then there would not be a burden in the NHS anymore and it will be class"? well, smoking is at the lowest level ever in the UK and the NHS is more f****d than it has ever been. yet still it is so that smoking is to blame for all. i could go to a doctor holding my own severed leg and the doctor would probably just say that if i stopped smoking them it would grow back or attach itself. 

you may wish to take in and appreciate the below image. due to a phone update my Commodore 64 mode thing no longer works. so, until i can arrange a replacement, this is the last time (for now) an image shall be presented here in the greater good and glory of Commodore 64 mode. oh. 

whilst in New Zealand i got to see some of the Parliamentary debate on smoking. it was stated in this that the number of people in the population who smoked was at 6.8%. there is every chance that i may have accidentally pushed that up to 7% with the amount of cigarettes i bought there. well, there we are. for those interested, and because with politics nothing can ever be what it says on the box, a country can technically declare itself "smoke free" if less ("fewer") than 5% of the population smoke. in respect of legal cigarette sales in New Zealand, they are well on course to that figure. honestly, well done. 

how expensive is it to smoke in New Zealand? quite. no, very. i had to smoke Marlboro Red, look you see. this was due to Daniel not liking the smell of the cheaper ones (Chesterfield) and asking me nicely if i couldn't just keep to Marlboro Red. what we do for family, etc. the exchange rate fluctuated some, but a safe figure would be around £22 (!!!) for a pack of 20 Marlboro Red. by chance i recently bought a pack of these magnificent ones here in England, and it cost just south of £15 for the same. yeah, and we thought they were pricey here. 

not that i all that often purchase (ahem) shop based cigarettes. like so many people here i have been driven to the more independent, half price sellers of such items. we the people are going to smoke anyway, and all that tax increases do in the UK is push people to the black market. we are unlikely to ever have a government brave or sensible or honest (ha) enough to realise people shall smoke, and that they cannot win a fight against the black market. reducing the tax to a sensible yet still presumably punitive level might see more people purchase legally and more tax revenue. but no, they would rather grandstand and pretend there is no other way. 

does an independent, black market exist for cigarettes in New Zealand? you would have to suspect yes. for a start they have had an incredible increase in the level of "ram raids" where people drive stolen cars into shops to steal cigarettes. with so many ports and what have you i would guess yes, there is an illegal market for smuggled cigarettes there. no i didn't look for it so i didn't find it. 

surprisingly, and pleasingly so, there's no overt antisocial stance on smoking there. the people of New Zealand are not complete d!ckheads like you find in the UK. i feared i may get hounded for smoking there, what with the (proposed or scrapped) laws and that, but no. they just let me get on with it, really. perhaps it was a curiosity for them, as so very few other people i saw there smoked. even Auckland airport had a smoking area, which is more than can be said for Heathrow. 

from what i could see, or ascertain, New Zealand are phasing out smoking in a "natural" way. people appear to be just going "f*** it i won't do it no more" in the face of the costs, and the aggravation of having to wait for a supervisor to bring out cigarettes in shops. by the way, that price i mentioned is flat across all shops, there's no fluctuation in pricing as one finds in the UK. good luck to them with it, and thank you for just letting me get on with it. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sky tower

tena koe

yes, then, more from my odyssey to New Zealand, or if you prefer (and many do) Aotearoa, look you see. indeed it is likely my journals (or "blog posts") shall be spread out over a greater time than what i was there, but there seems little sense in throwing it all out at once, so to speak. and oh yes there are numerous pictures featuring moi here, so don't say i didn't warn you. 

my main, as point of fact only, aim (or ambition) whilst in New Zealand was to spend as much of the time that i had (just north of two weeks, or south of three) with my family. having not seen them for so long i would have been entirely content to just sit there with them all, drinking tea. or that magnificent L&P drink what they have, which i miss dearly. it would not at all be fair to say that the family ignored this wish, they simply wished to spend time with me and showcase what an incredible place it is that they have found a home in. 

just the one day spent in the business end (literal and figurative) of Auckland then. and as the title of this post gives every indication of, a fair bit of it spent in, on and around the magnificence of the Sky Tower. and yes, in the above image, that is indeed moi, stood on one of them presumably reasonably safe glass walkway bits up at the top viewing (observation?) deck. 

going up the Sky Tower was not on my "would be nice to do" list, but mostly because my thoughts do not work in such a way. as we embarked on the ride up my sister did kindly think to ask if i "still had an issue with heights"; a thing that was true. well, sort of. it was not being at height that i had a quarrel with, rather that sensation of being stood on a surface quite high up and knowing there was nothing at all beneath what you stood on. like a few things this would appear to have fallen away as i revel in my three quarter life crisis, embracing a decidedly "yolo" or "f*** it" approach. 

for clarification, and i would generally suggest anyone using my blog as a sort of tourist guide has some peculiar ways of using google, the Sky Tower is in Auckland. it is, according to the book i picked up there, 328 meters high and (in theory) is so well built that an earthquake of up to 8.0 on that much celebrated richter scale would not trouble it. should you be of a disposition to do something as insane as walk up it, there's a mere 1,267 stairs between the base and the sky deck (which is 220 meters up). 

oh, hang on. it turns out that earlier picture (the first one) is me on the main observation deck, which is not the top one (sky deck). that was only 186 meters (610 feet) up, so no, i suppose i don't look quite so much the brave hard man i thought standing on it. unlikely a fall from such a small height would do a very great deal of damage, maybe a fractured bone. also, apparently (no idea how they worked this out but still) the Sky Tower weighs 21,000,000 kgs. twenty one million. which makes it even heavier than my @r$e. blimey. 

presumably one or two of you won't mind seeing images of moi (me), what with you visiting my blog and all. so there you go, above, me enjoying a cigarette (sorry) before going in and up the Sky Tower. the practice of smoking is a rather rare sight indeed in New Zealand, no doubt some do smoke but on a face value assessment their plans to eradicate it would seem to be working.

being perfectly honest about it, yes i do enjoy a cigarette (sorry) regardless of circumstance. every now and then, mind, i like to have one prior to doing something which might be the last thing what i ever do in this world. as unlikely as it was that anything would go wrong, or some harm befall me, at the Sky Tower, well, you know, still. better to have one that might be the last one, just in case. 

similarly, of course, as illustrated in the above image, it is also very nice indeed to have a cigarette after one has completed whatever it was they were doing. here i am enjoying one in a rare dedicated smoking area, just outside the restaurant at the bottom area of the Sky Tower. many thanks to Daniel for taking this picture of me whilst I was unaware of him doing so. actually yes, there was one other person making use of this facility at the time, so a rare instance of me being not alone. 

every chance exists of some of you reading this having a preference to hear less ("fewer") of my grand smoking exploits and a bit more about the Sky Tower. or a  bit more about that and some further tales of the odyssey on which i embarked. there's already been some factual information included in this post, but yeah, go on then. 

regular readers shall be reasonably aware of it being so that yes, that's my sister and moi in the above picture. stood, of course, on one of the observation decks in the Sky Tower. probably best i do indeed clarify that, as there are pictures of other Auckland places to follow. 

as far as i am aware this is the second time my sister and i have been up a rather tall tower in the region casually referred to as Australasia. well, should New Zealand fall within such remit. several years, actually a few decades ago, we all, as a family, went up what was once Centrepoint Tower in Sydney, the one in Australia. my understanding is that now it is simply called 'Sydney Tower'. no doubt some clever marketing people came up with that name change, or it was done for tax purposes. quite a few things in the present world appear to be done only for tax purposes. 

those of you what are quite eager (or fond) of pictures of moi must be enjoying this post. yes, once more, that is me, having a bit of a gander out of some binocular or telescope things. quite splendid views offered by them. something that i was encouraged to look at (and worship in awe) by Daniel was of course Eden Park, where the celebrated New Zealand rugby team, the All Blacks, had resoundingly thumped any number of visiting sides. i dare not look at how England have gotten on when they have bravely gone there to play; will assume we got battered. 

mostly, i would say, of the above picture, is that i am rather pleased by the quite accidental throwback to days of school when i encouraged friends to adopt the "Laibach stance". for those unaware Laibach are a somewhat (and still going) peculiar band who inexplicably managed a fairly significant hit single with what ostensibly was a cover of Life Is Life. on, or rather in, the video for it there was a couple of seconds of a shot of some members of the band standing and posing, looking up at a waterfall or something. for whatever reason this amused me greatly and so somewhere i have a stack of pictures of friends striking the very pose. hello, if you are one of them reading this. 

you are probably better off going to visit the Sky Tower yourself to take in the views, but still, above is one of the pictures i took from there. no, not sure why there is an oddly blue hue to all images taken inside. anyway, indeed you can see Auckland Harbour Bridge there, and yes i crossed it. perhaps some video and images of that in another post, then. 

we, and the we you can see in the last picture (below) did indeed wander around aspects of Auckland, since we were there. actually we went off to meet up with an old friend of mine. indeed i did have a couple of pints. whereas photographic evidence of this exists unfortunately it is of a nature not suitable to include here. however, there is this. 

for some reason i thought someone somewhere might quite like an image of me enjoying a cigarette whilst stood near a cruise liner. apologies (i suppose) if i have that one wrong. yes, by the way, a great many cruise ships do stop off in Auckland, and all of New Zealand for that matter. briefly, as it turns out. when i asked why Gill told me that it's because it costs an absolute fortune to dock in New Zealand, so they tend not to stay longer than really required. if you are planning a cruise that way you may wish to make a note of this, but i dare say the crew shall mention it. 

it is rather (highly) unlikely that i would ever go anywhere in the world and decline to go shopping for tapes, records, discs and related. this i very much did in New Zealand. many thanks to Dad, who suggested to Gill that she take me to Real Groovy records (link here) as he was certain that i would rather like the place. yes, i most certainly did. 

on the list of "it would be nice if i get the chance" things to do in New Zealand, procuring some Split Enz tapes (actual, or discs) was high up. another nice thing would have been finding the New Zealand and Australia only release of the single One Tree Hill off of U2. sadly the latter didn't happen, but the former very much did. at Real Groovy i was able to pick up a couple of Enz albums and some Finn as solo concerns ones. on top of this they had some of the 12th Man discs, and i got the tape (actual) of the Natural Born Killers soundtrack. most happy of happy days. 

how much, to vaguely get back to the point of this post, does it cost to go in, on or up the Sky Tower? that i cannot say, as Gill elected to (kindly) treat me to it. from what i could see the "Sky Fall" or similar, possibly drop, was expensive. that's where you get attached to a harness and go ahead and freefall down the tower. not bungee (bungy) as it would be rather unwise to bounce around quite so close to glass and concrete. yes, Daniel has indeed done it before. 

i did indeed pay for one of them tourist things where you get loads of pictures. one of them is very much above for your consideration. let me assume you know who each in the picture is on the basis that you have probably looked at other posts. 

right, so yes, the Sky Tower is amazing, and suspiciously slightly taller than what is now know as Sydney Tower, but about 23 meters or so. nothing wrong with a bit of provincial rivalry, especially with regards to the construction business. undoubtedly more New Zealand related posts to follow. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

does flying still suck?

greetings

for clarification (of the title, look you see) what i intend to write of here is if the choice of being a passenger on an airplane (aeroplane?) of a commercial nature remain a daunting, miserable experience. not an easy question to answer in simple terms, but for those in a rush the answer is yes, no, maybe. there is of course the small matter of how in no way can i presume to assume my experiences are going to be true for all. but, here we are. and without images in the greater good and glory of Commodore 64 mode, as my boss "app" for that no longer works. VHS mode it is, then.

having spent around 48 hours or so of my life this year on planes i do feel slightly qualified, at the least, to speak on the subject. as for provenance, i elected (or opted) to use Emirates airline for my odyssey from here (England) to there (New Zealand) and back. of the now very limited options to fly there it was easily so they came out on top - more or less (excluding Air China) most modest cost, largest seats in economy class, least (fewest) amount of time between connecting flights. also, have used them before a few times, and the service was always good. well, as good as an airline in this modern world gets. 

where to begin? at the start i suppose, or (at least, pedantic types) after buying the ticket and actually heading off to fly. in general terms all airports are miserable, what with the horrid outlay of them, curiously depressing staff and ludicrous amount of people one find there. exactly how much time effort and money gets spent "developing" Heathrow to just make it increasingly worse is baffling. mind, the one mishap i experienced (here) wasn't the fault of the airport. and once you check in and go through security at Heathrow there's no smoking areas, so be warned. every other country has airports what provide this facility, so it's just Heathrow being tw@ts as usual. 

on the actual plane, and, well. it is (considerably) out of character for me to give due credit to French things or people, but still. Sartre's frequently quoted line "hell is other people" is so phenomenally apt and true when you find yourself with such (other people) in a tin can some 40,000ft above sea level. what is wrong with people, or what goes wrong when they get on a f*****g plane? is it really that difficult to just get on with it? apparently it is. 

to be (reasonably) fair, most of the passengers on all four (4) flights i took of late just got on with it. but still there are those special cases. a lot of this is down to airlines not enforcing their own rules. they always make it clear that people are allowed one (1) item of hand luggage, of specific dimensions and weight. yet several passengers come onboard with ludicrously oversized cases, taking up all the space in the overhead compartments. what utter w@nkers they are, true, but why are airlines not saying no to them?  

it is of course the case that a number of flights, sometimes weekly, get diverted or cancelled due to the behaviour of "passengers" on board. with mercy this seems to be on them ultra cheap flights to rather cheap areas of Europe. mostly i suspect this happens because why wouldn't you disrupt the plans of over a hundred people for less than £50 or so? the people who get drunk, or smoke, or fight or whatever and get flights cancelled are not going to pay any fines and will simply use the experience as a tale to enthrall their similarly thick and ignorant contemporaries with down the pub. generally one does not get quite that level of riff raff on flights that cost thousands of pounds. 

but, or and yet, still it was so that my one flight, Dubai to Auckland, had at least two incidents with completely f*****g retarded passengers. there may well have been further, but only two (2) happened near to me. the first illustrates the farcical, illusion based nature of "security" on flights, as someone managed to get an aerosol can on board. yes, a compressed gas canister on a flight, what could go wrong. we all knew they had, as someone set it off in the toilet, which triggered all sorts of alarms. 

no, that wasn't the most retarded person on the flight. that would be the person who knew full well that they had a nut allergy yet for some reason ate a bag of peanuts. somewhat suspiciously they elected to do this after we had cleared Australia, as in at a (convenient) time when we would not be diverted to land there, but would carry on to Auckland. perhaps they were seeking to unofficially extend their stay in New Zealand, and gambled with their health to do so. very fortunate that they had timed it so, as if we had been diverted they would very much have had a dent in their face more or less matching an imprint of my fist. yes, there was some interest level in watching the cabin crew f*** about with the various medical kits, trying to work out what to do. 

sensing that it would be wise to do so, i shelled out some extra cash for "extra legroom" seats on the flights (two of them) between Dubai and Auckland. overall this did prove wise. however, what one gains in legroom they lose in general comfort, as you have them ridiculous too small fold out trays and in flight entertainment screens. you win and you lose. also other passengers understandably wish to stretch their legs, and tend to spend a lot of time wandering about trying their best to trip over your outstretched legs. when (rather than if) i make the trip again, i may well begrudgingly pay for the same again, if not shell out a substantial amount more for "premium" economy. 

eating? quite difficult on the smaller cramped trays in the extra legroom seats, but still, an odd triumph. well, sort of kind of. vast, immense improvements have been made in the quality of food served. as in i had some truly excellent meals. of course this is tempered with the eternal issue. on flights they for some reason have two (2) basic options, one which is extremely appealing to all and one that sounds awful and not interesting. so of course they usually run out of the excellent one before they get to serve you. how difficult can it be to just plan two equally interesting meal options? apparently very. 

as it happens, oddly, weirdly and entirely unexpectedly no, not being able to smoke for quite long periods of time didn't actually phase me. i had some of that nicotine gum with me as a just in case thing, but barely used it. let me do a separate post on that. i would imagine a lot of this was down to psychology. one knows they cannot smoke, so just end up at peace with it in mind. well, maybe that, or i just knew that giving up smoking (temporarily) was a very small ask in the grand scheme of things. yes, i suspect the aerosol @r$ehole on our flight was smoking in the toilet. 

ultimately in our present world flying is simply an uncomfortable means to an end. once upon a time getting on a plane was an enjoyable, integral part of any holiday. now it's a dehumanised experience, with livestock being driven to slaughter getting better treatment. presumably all of this leads to them that own the airlines make even more money, i hope they enjoy it. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!