from time to time, or if you like every now and then, look you see, there's a quite serious subject what comes up here. it is entirely possible that this is such a time, or, to be sure, a now or a then.
succession and continuation are complex matters, of not perpetual ones. they require planning and thinking ahead. failure to do so can be quite catastrophic, or barely even noticed depending on how it all works out.
in terms of modern society there is of course one man who this issue has had relevance for twice. well, twice at the least. yes, Jim Bowen. for many the issue of his succession is based entirely on his current role as Pope Francis I. there are fears that he is so good at it and brilliant that no replacement, whatever their qualities, will succeed and perpetuate his work.
these fears are real and well founded. we faced a similar problem with his earlier, better known work, and the failed succession plan, when it came to Bullseye.
on several occasions i have mentioned the importance of Bullseye to our culture, society and way of life in general. this i have done not so much to inform as to remind many of you of what you already know. had we not had Bullseye as a sort of touchstone or similar, life would be a lot different now.
at the time, the great era of Bullseye when there was world peace and so forth, none of us really gave consideration to what we might do if either the show stopped or if, understandably, Jim Bowen felt that he needed to move to a different, maybe lesser, platform from which to spread his vital message.
we, in a very real sense, were then all guilty of just taking it for granted that the era of Jim Bowen was something that would simply be, now and forever. and so we must take blame, too, for the failures of the woeful succession plan what they came up with.
yes, that there above is the hallowed podium from which Jim Bowen spoke. no, that is not Jim Bowen stood there, handling the question card. some Google research tells me that this is, as point of fact, a chap called Dave Spikey. so far as i can tell he is an OK, decent sort of bloke. he is just not Jim Bowen.
sometimes you can get away with replacing a front man. other, and if you say lesser than Bullseye that is fine, tv shows have replaced the host and all has gone well. examples would be The Generation Game and, i think, Family Fortunes. but Bullseye was not normal tv show. it existed as much as a conduit for the teachings of Jim Bowen as it did to provide light entertainment for the masses and the opportunity to own a speedboat for the chosen few.
it was, i suppose, brave of this Dave Spikey to step forward and present himself as a successor to Jim Bowen. the truth is anyone would have failed. well, all but one, but we will get to that.
above, in rather fetching Commodore 64 mode, are the contestants assigned to answer questions on this Bullseye re-imagining, or if you like "redux". the agony and pain of being thieves in the temple is etched firmly across their faces, is it not? it is as though they came to pay homage to something that they thought they should, but did not.
who is it that could have successfully ascended to the role of Bullseye leader? to those who are keen students of history there is an answer hidden away in the fate of the War of Spanish Succession. yes, Tony Green.
if they had truly wanted all of those who believed in Bullseye to accept a new order, one without the leadership and guidance of Jim Bowen, then they would have elevated Tony Green to the position of presenter. he had spent years as a loyal, devout even, servant to Jim Bowen. an appropriate reward for this would have been to afford him the opportunity to move up and present.
doing this would have allowed Tony Green to appoint a scorer - Ross Bray, maybe - who would one day have succeeded Tony Green. succession and continuation would have been assured, and done so in a way that would have appeased the devotees of the show. but no, they went for this Dave Spikey bloke, and left Tony Green where he was.
whereas the failure to correctly anoint Tony Green as the new custodian of Bullseye was the biggest mistake made, other factors did not help. like, for instance, the ridiculous, opulent new set they created.
i mean, just look at it. the whole set is far too massive, as if to physically represent what a soulless void it all is without the teachings of Jim Bowen being at the forefront. they might as well have just shoved it all on the stage at somewhere like the O2 Arena, really.
undoubtedly someone somewhere, probably with a ponytail, horn rimmed glasses and wearing a "power tie", thought that the dartboard motif on the floor was a good idea. it isn't. to do this simply distracts from the true message of what Bullseye was all about.
as, for that matter, does the selection of contestants to compete for the Bronze Bully statue who raised money for charity.
here we see celebrated weather soothsayer Andrea McLean score 103 points with 9 darts, which translates as £103 for charity and no chance of winning the trophy.
whilst that's admirable for someone not proficient at darts - it's no doubt higher than what i would get - it goes against what Jim Bowen established.
yes, i know that in the early days of Bullseye they had celebrity, non-darts professionals come in and have a go. they were, however, people like Acker Bilk, George Best, Bonnie Langford and verious friends of Terry Venables. people who were at home in a pub, and could have had just an excellent career in darts as they did in whatever they did instead of that.
above is one of the prizes offered on Bully's Prize Board. yes, it is a metal detector. no, it is not even one of them Bill Wyman endorsed ones, it's just a regular one. and here's another issue, then.
sure, ostensibly the main point of Bully's Prize Board on Bullseye was to allow competitors to win some smart prizes. but it was much more. for a generation various manufacturing companies, as well as scientists and other such types, used the Prize Board as a conduit to showcase their latest inventions. the very first encounter millions of people had with wonders such as an alarm clock what made tea, or a portable tv set, or a stereo with a "laser record player" (later CD player) in it was through watching Bullseye.
gone was this celebration of innovation, once so proudly seen under the leadership of Jim Bowen. the sight of just a common, every day type of metal detector being offered as a prize must have made the contestants truly regret appearing on the non-Jim Bowen led version of the show.
lost also was the secrets and magic of the audience. as looked at here, once it was a haven for celebrities, the aristocracy, the landed gentry and royalty. in this "revamped" - i am reluctant to use the word "rejuvenated" after consulting a dictionary - the audience seems to have been made up entirely of people who went on something called "an internet" and requested tickets. no VIP invitations extended, then.
that's probably why, as far as i could see, Tony Green spent the entire episode with his back to the audience. it seems that, although they were probably all decent people, there was no one of national importance in the audience for Tony to keep an eye on.
i am not going to discuss the controversial Bullseye Christmas Gang Bang here, dear reader. as far as i am concerned all that i had to say on the subject is found in this earlier post. as opposed to one which i have not yet done.
standards were indeed allowed to slip at every level, as the above illustrates. once contestants were rewarded with a proper pint tankard, genuine, big size £10 notes, solid, meaty and chunky darts and a bespoke effigy of Bully. on this non-Jim Bowen version they got a cheap tin tea cip, some "streamlined" darts, a low cost rubbery Bully and some dodgy looking tenners. bank notes which, you will observe, were placed directly in to the tea cup, rather than being safely stored in the suit jacket pocket of the host. perhaps Dave Spikey had some religious reason for not copying the trend established by Jim Bowen, or maybe he just didn't feel confident enough to carry around so much cash.
Bully's Star Prize? there, and yes indeed, as tradition dictates, it was a speedboat. but a speedboat with a difference. and not a good one.
when you move past being distracted by the deft camera angle and all the shiny lights, you will note that the speedboat on offer is an actual speedboat; as in one that looks like it could go quite fast. this is not how it was in the era of Jim Bowen. no, back then contestants were rewarded with a rudimentary boat that went at a fairly consistent, steady speed.
had a contestant dare complained that the speedboat was bereft of speed to Jim, he would no doubt have struck them down with a quip like "how fast do you want to go? Australia is not going anywhere, it will be there when you dock". perhaps such comedy genius was too much to ask of anyone, even Dave Spikey, and so they just elected to give a proper, actual speedboat instead, hoping that no one would notice. well, i did.
yes, Tony, i agree. we all wish Jim Bowen every continued success in his current role as Pope Francis. but we surely, and sorely, miss him being at the helm of Bullseye. perhaps when he has tired of his role at the Vatican he will return.
until such time, this newish version of Bullseye is best forgotten about. rather just watch repeats of the many fantastic episodes which his excellency, the great Jim Bowen, agreed to host.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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