continuing cricket coverage

g'day

yes, indeed. September is almost here, look you see, but whilst it remains August we can have a spot of cricket, what what why not. 

well, in terms of the somewhat convoluted question there, English summer rain. not to be confused with the song English Summer Rain off of Placebo, as splendid as that is. yes, no, we had one game called off for the rain. 

but no matter, there are still some pictures and some videos off of a game we did get to watch, and of course James played in. this, then, is really more of an excuse for some pics of us for those family and friends around the globe (or across the planet if you are one of them gender identified as flat earth types; all welcome here so long as you don't make a spectacle of yourself) who rely on this blog for such updates. 

oh yes, i do feature later on, so you have been warned (or teased). but, for now, then, a splendid look or bit of a gander at my (considerably) better half and young William. they are quite clearly as eager (palpably so, if that is a word and indeed the right one) and keen for the cricket to start as they are for me to stop taking pictures.

compared to last year you may have noted there has not been all that much in the way of cricket for us this season. sadly, or alas, this has been the case. at the age level James is at there are not nearly as many teams available to arrange games against. the age group below and above has ample, though. it is peculiar how it all gets worked out, but anyway there should be more games next season.

and, as hinted at earlier, the weather has sometimes meant that games we had lined up simply did not happen. here you go, here's James trying to get ready for one, valiantly so despite the rain starting to fall and eventually falling so hard the game was called off.

quality not quantity should always be the way to look at things. except, i suppose, in terms of cigarettes here in the UK, where the terrible and totalitarian levels of tax mean that you just get as many of what you can get. and getting back on topic, we have had the pleasure of watching some truly spectacular matches this season, with James and his teammates doing a sterling job. this is always, and irrespective of victory or defeat.

as i have said all along, when it comes to cricket, losing a game does not really matter so long as the ultimate winner is the preservation of the beauty and spirit of cricket itself.

reasonable warning was, i believe, given in respect of the content of the above picture. and yes, i was trying to get one of them "nice" pictures of my (considerably) better half and i that i do from time to time, but William was eager to be in it. do a "photo bomb", i believe, was his idea. quite an effective one.

yes, cricket. from one of the games that went ahead, as opposed to highlights from a match that was not played, here is some quality bowling from James.

no, he has not quite made his mind up as to whether or not he wishes to concentrate on batting or bowling. although i think he has. when it came time to discuss the reasonably recent Test Match between England and Australia (the 1,000th such form of cricket to feature England), i noted it was the gentlemen called Broad, Stokes and Anderson of which he spoke in admiration. three chaps quite noted for their bowling skill.

this, or that, would suggest a proclivity for bowling, would it not? although two of them are pretty decent with the bat, whereas Mr Anderson has a go. my own cricketing heroes have been discussed here in the past (and will be in the future), but the short answer, for those interested, is Sir Ian Botham. a player so good that the majority of Australians have expressed a wish that he was born Australian. you do not really get a higher compliment than that in the world of cricket, and it is a compliment i believe has been afforded to a bare handful of non-Australian players.

yeah, that's William, not in cricket whites, and James and a teammate, in cricket whites, running around the ground in the rain after the match was called off.

what's that? actually you do like me and you all want another image of me, preferably by a tree on an overcast day? i can certainly assist with that.

something else i can also assist with, or otherwise provide, is a bit more video.

whereas James seems to be leaning towards a passion for bowling, it is not like his batting is all that bad. far from it, although of course i have some bias in this regard.


here you go, then, some footage of him belting the ball right off the vegetable of the bat.

a nice single. if the saying that "catches win matches" is correct, and not just a convenient rhyme, them it is important to clock up as many runs as you can prior to such a catch being taken off of your batting.

that would be it for cricket pictures and videos for this post, but if you are of a mind to do so there are a couple of family ones next.

like, for instance, this one.

yes, that is William attempting to extract wheat (or hay) from the ground in the most difficult way possible. he is most decidedly and determinedly an outdoor child, is William, and loves to ramble around the fields as and when the cricket is on.

before long, i suspect, he will work out that he can take either his walkman or his mp3 player thing with him on such adventures, giving taking in the wonders of our world the added beauty of quality vibes.

indeed,  to finish off, one of them "family selfie" type of pictures. this was in the car, heading home, after the one game we had looked forward to had been called off due to the rain. 

and with that, this is this and that's that, friends and family. for this post, to be sure, at the least......

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

temporary sign

heya


not a great deal, to be sure. just something, look you see, which speaks more about my commitment to regular updates here for you, the reader, rather than me having much of interest to say. story of my life, perhaps, but then again that is the only one i can really tell.

this is, at the least, and no matter how brief, another chapter in the tales of Spiros, for all you Spiros fans. yes, indeed, he has suggested that i refer to his adventures as "the tails of Spiros", but no.

recently Spiros had reason to cease his celebrated life of travels and returned to his ostensible home base of London. it has been, in fairness, a while since he challenged a London black cab driver to a bout of fisticuffs, and his punching hand was getting itchy.

so, off he went, and got greeted by this. airline travel is bad enough these days - even for executive first class premium flyers such as Spiros - without getting down on the ground and finding one cannot conduct their business in a suitable lavatory facility. yes, i suspect he will be suing them, as he is the greatest legal mind of his generation.

why did he not just "go wee wees" in the bathroom provided on the plane? that's an interesting story, but one i am not prepared to discuss much of. it involved some sort of flight attendant or steward called Ludwig or Helmut or similar, and referenced quite remarkable feats achieved in a relatively confined space.

just where does Spiros hang around in airports when flying? well, you know those VIP, platinum, gold membership lounges, yeah? each of those has another door, which leads to a secure area where real important people wait. that, if you are one of the 0.00015% of the population what qualifies to be in there, is where you will find him. well, there or at duty free buying me some splendid fags.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

random bowie - the next day

Howdy Pop Pickers


Well, here we go with another episode, or if you like edition, of Random Bowie. A series which seem to be featuring ever decreasing popularity, going on the low readership what the last one, "heroes", attracted. Thus far no one has taken up the offer of the postcard on that post, so either the album is not as popular as I had taken it to be, or just people are bored with reading what I write.

No matter, I press on, determined as I am to "do" all the albums. And, as there are less albums to do than have been done here, the "random" nature is becoming less so. Based on the artwork alone, it just made sense to follow up "heroes" with The Next Day.

Quick, rapid facts to begin with, or if you will commence? The third paragraph is hardly starting, but go on then. The Next Day is the 24th studio album by David Bowie in accordance with the generally accepted method of counting them. It came after an extraordinarily (by his standards) long hiatus, released as it was 10 years (or if you like a decade) after 2003's Reality. Most famously, of course, this album was somehow recorded in secret, with 99.99999999% (or thereabouts) of the word's population only knowing that Bowie had recorded any new music with the release of Where Are We Now? on his birthday.

OK, this might well turn out to be one of those episodes (editions) where I speak less of the music and more around the album. And why not, really, mindful of the last aspects of the previous paragraph. Let us not forget how mind-blowing an achievement this was. For David Bowie to have done anything in secret since, let's say 1972, was quite a trick. To have done it at a time when social media and everyone reporting everything on the internet was all the more impressive.

Yes, but of course, there were those in certain media outlets who claimed to have "known all along" and indeed "been in on it", but simply did not say anything so as "not to spoil the surprise" for the common fan. Nonsense, of course. None but a trusted few knew, and the claims of certain journalists to have "been in on it" are easy enough to dismiss - look at the very precise zero number of interviews Bowie gave after the release.

Certainly, yes, is the answer to the obvious question. As with most early 90s releases onwards, journalists and critics fell over themselves to declare this as being (sigh) his "best and most important album since Scary Monsters". In this instance, though, the enthusiasm to describe a new David Bowie album this way was fed for the most part by Bowie himself. Since 2003 Bowie had said very, very little in public at all about anything. There was, however, one comment in that "decade" hiatus of sorts. He mentioned that it would take something "really spectacular" to see him make music again, so I suppose the critics can be forgiven for taking it as granted that The Next Day was indeed a spectacular album.

This is where things get difficult. Whereas it's a good album, in no way would I call the actual music of The Next Day "spectacular", instead saving that word for the secrecy of release. It's mostly good, above average stuff, with some alarmingly overt and direct references to his own life in the lyrics. Knowing now what we do, I cannot but help think, or suspect, that this was maybe "part one" of Blackstar. Did Bowie know that the end was coming up in the not too distant future? Was this record, loaded with memories, the first stage of getting his affairs in order, I wonder?

We, if so, really did miss, or opted to ignore, the main lyric from the opening track, the titular The Next Day. Most, maybe all, of us heard "here I am, not quite dying" as Bowie raging against age, assuring us that he had many years left with us. Perhaps we should have remembered his wry, dry sense of British humour, one which prevailed no matter where he called home. In retrospect, it is difficult to hear this line as anything but a Monty Python like comment that perhaps his health was not all that it could be. Which, of course, we knew after the huge heart attack that brought an abrupt end to the Reality tour.

For the more cynical of you, there was another possibly "really spectacular" reason for Bowie returning to music when he did. That would be the fact that he would make a good deal more money at that time than he would have if he'd released something earlier. I am no financial expert, so feel free to read up on the whole 'Bowie Bonds' thing and their "junk status" yourself, although here is a link to the BBC coverage of it all which makes for a simplified start.

To the music for a bit, then, although in fairness I have referenced some of it above (slightly). Nowhere seems as good a place to start as the lead single, of sorts, although of course this was 2013, and so it was only available "digitally", so far as I am aware.

Where Are We Now? is perhaps destined to be the most low key, quiet, no fuss "comeback" single in the history of recorded music. No big, bold, brash and in your face statement. Just what seems, superficially, to be Bowie recalling an incident in Berlin, when he had to catch a train. The musical is whimsical, almost breezy in it's soft piano, all of which seems to hide key lyrics. Again, knowing now what we do, perhaps I read too much into all of this, but listening now to lines like "the moment you know, you know you know" and "as long as there's sun, as long as there's rain", we seem to be hearing a very English passive response to the fact that things might not be going quite as well as they could be with the health thing.

But, wait a minute. Go back for a second. David Bowie is telling us quite directly about something which happened in his private life? This has not happened before, certainly not in such an overt way. He famously avoided discussing anything he considered to be personal and private. As in, when you watch his VH1 Storytellers performance, you note that he tells stories that always seem to be about other people and not him. Also, the final shot of the video for Where Are We Now? features Bowie stood alone, wearing a t-shirt with Song of Norway written on it. Now, if you wished, you could take that as some peculiar reference to the cruise ship scrapped in 2013. Or, you could not help but notice that Song Of Norway was the film which Bowie's then girlfriend, Hermione Farthingale, left him (apparently heartbroken and believing he would never recover) to go and appear in. Yes, indeed the t-shirt could be a reference to both.

The next single, and arguably the best song from the album, was to be The Stars (Are Out Tonight).  Musically it's a fairly heavy (and very groovy and very good) rock song, lyrically it seems to dabble with thoughts about "celebrity culture", with the ethos being either a passively dismissive or reluctant acceptance, depending on how you hear it. Another incident of perhaps reading more than one should in retrospect into it all, but again the video is something of a feast. Maybe in playing with the subversion of the album artwork, maybe preparing to get things in order or possibly just for fun, there's a Norwegian model / actress playing what is unmistakably supposed to be the younger David Bowie, whereas Tilda Swinton playing Bowie's wife in the video looks an awful lot like David Bowie.

How about a still from the video for what was ostensibly the 3rd or 4th single (I suspect 4th) from the album, Valentine's Day? Well, as it is an excuse to see one of the final public images of Bowie, why not.

Yes, subverting Bowie once again. The song is pretty much about a murder or a murderer, which is perhaps not quite what one would expect from the title. Still, great song. Quite like many other Bowie classics - even if they were released as singles - I don't believe this has cropped up on too many "best of" sets, so there you go, reason enough to purchase the whole of The Next Day so you can have this tune.

I've had the album on repeat for a couple of weeks in advance of writing this and, if I am honest, there's no song further than the above two that I would highlight. Except, maybe, to say that the titular track is truly astonishing. By no means does this mean that the remainder of the album - in whatever variation you opt to hear it (we will get to that) - is poor or below any sort of standard. It flows very splendidly and is most enjoyable to listen to. But, ultimately, it's just what I would call a "David Bowie album", really. Good to great music which maintains a high standard, and yet never in itself comes across as anything really spectacular, to quote someone. Although I am keen to stress I am not being critical.

Does the record tie in with "heroes" at all, since the artwork for The Next Day subverts the artwork for that one? Somewhat, I suppose. Where Are We Now? is decidedly German in its location, and as we know "heroes" was the only one of the three albums that form the 'Berlin trilogy' to actually be written and recorded in Germany. Other than that, I don't really hear this album as a sequel of sorts, and the feeling one has from the record is quite different.

Exactly what was David Bowie doing between, say, 2006 and 2013, then. Other than recording this record. In truth, no one knows for sure, yet everyone knows. Rumours spread that he was left "totally debilitated" by his heart attack, with some going as far to say he was suffering with dementia. Kind of nonsense, really. For a start, there were two celebrated cinematic outings - as the enigmatic Tesla in the superb film The Prestige, and as the regal King of Atlantis (Neptune?) or similar in some sort of Spongebob Squarepants film. It was the latter which Bowie described as being the pinnacle of his career.

Other than that, he was regularly pictured at art galleries, etc, and went out to premieres of films made by his son, Duncan. A lot of the time he was just wandering around New York, dressed in a Greek style and always carrying a Greek newspaper, so as observers may just assume they had just seen a man from the Aegean who happened to look a bit like Bowie rather than Bowie himself, and so left him in peace. Also, just spending time at home with Iman and their daughter.

What of the variations of The Next Day? Well, at the time you could get the "standard" version of the album, or a "deluxe" version, with 2 or 3 extra songs on. A year or so later and The Next Day Extra landed, featuring all the songs off of the "deluxe", plus some other new ones, plus some remixes, plus a DVD of the videos from the record (Gary Oldman is class in the one for The Next Day), and a little notebook for you to doodle on.

Any or all of them worth getting? Yes, frankly. It's a really good album. If possible, I suppose The Next Day Extra is the one to get, then you have all the music. But there's nothing at all wrong for settling with a copy of the album as it first came out, way back in 2013. Wow, some 5 years old now.

For those somewhat disappointed in how little I may have written about The Next Day, fear or frown not. There is a superb BBC documentary which really covers it in some detail. Here in the UK it was released under the rather dour, sombre name David Bowie The Last Five Years, referencing Five Years off of Ziggy Stardust and ignoring the fact that the album covered closer to The Last Ten To Fifteen Years.

Next, after The Next Day? We will see. I suspect another 70s album, and no, I have not forgotten there are kind of two from the 60s not touched on as such as of yet. But they will be.

But, then, that's that, or this is this in respect of this particular episode. For those of you who have stopped by to read, thank you very much indeed once again for doing so!




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at scarborough

hello there


phew, blimey. this could be one of them long-ish posts, look you see, the type of which i do, to be sure, tend to run out of steam with the wording as it progresses. well, to be expected, i suppose, as some 14 or so years of doing this blog is apt testament to my wanting or lacking writing skills.

anyway,  as summer slightly fades, now is the time to have a look back (rather than forward) to a most splendid weekend away in Scarborough what we had during the so-called "holiday season" for both those of us at school and those of us who what do a verk for a living.

of the 300 (or so) pictures i took, not to mention several (actually seven) videos, i have cut down to some highlights. yes, indeed, as usual this would all be for the benefit of friends and family around the world, but strangers are welcome if they wish to read, so long as they are not oddballs or otherwise troublesome.

commitments for matters such as verk, and of course the cricket, meant that we had limited time to get away. when we discussed where to go, i mooted Scotland once again, as i have done a couple of times. although there is interest from the remainder of my family, time constraints made it less than viable.

suggestions were requested, and the unanimous call off of the boys was a return to Scarborough. they loved the place when we went, what, 3 years ago, and lamented the short time we were there. off we went, then, with the traditional English summer of overcast ways in no way stopping us heading down to the beach, as pictured above.

our proclivity for visiting seaside or if you like coastal resorts has prompted certain questions. why is it, for instance, that i have (so far as i am aware) never ever been pictured wearing one of them Kiss Me Quick hats what are the traditional uniform at such places. let me remedy that, then.

no, i did not purchase the hat as such. other than the trouble it would likely cause should any quite desperate ladies or not at all fussy gentlemen take up the offer presented, i considered the fee of £2.99 for it prohibitively expensive. the proprietor of the shop what sells them, i have every confidence, would not have objected to me borrowing it briefly for this picture.

why did i not wear or pose in one of these last year? well, so as we may have experienced standing in a different sea, we visited Blackpool. as many of you shall be aware, Blackpool has become a bit of a niche spot for jolly outings such as stag nights and hen parties. the consequence of this is that a simple, relatively innocent kiss does not quite do it for the patrons of the place. most of the suggestions on hats in Blackpool are crude, explicit and certainly not suitable for publication here.

so yes, indeed, as you may have drawn for yourself from the above, Scarborough is certainly and most decidedly a family friendly place. with a great deal for all of the family to do together. like, for instance, the splendid styled dragon pedal boats of Peasholm Park.

the boys were quite keen to have a go on these on our first visit, but time and popularity stood against us. on our first day the popularity of the attraction was also prohibitive. we did, however, manage to get on them simply by going along at 10am, when they open. most other people, it would seem, have things to do at such a time which do not involve pedalling around a lake.

yes, the boys pedalled us around. no, we did not insist or make them, no matter what my Dad says. they were quite keen to do it all, so far be it from either me or my (considerably) better half to protest.

should your device have allowed for the playback of video (and i think all now do this), the conversation being had might be distracting or confusing. well, let me help. James is a young man of ambition, and one such ambition was to "do a donut" that thing where you spin a vehicle around and leave skid marks or what have you on the surface. he was indeed successful in doing a "donut" like circle on the lake, leaving ripples of outgoing waves rather than any sort of permanent marking on the surface of the water.

like most, probably all, things in Scarborough, this dragon pedal boat ride thing was most agreeably priced. south of £10 it was, as point of fact i think £8, for a half an hour hire of the boat for the four of us. just some information for anyone using this post to do research and what have you.

another thing reasonably priced is sadly not pictured here. we seemed to have played a great deal of that "mini golf", or if you will crazy golf, game. splendid fun, and too much fun was had playing it to stop and take pictures. also, due to my deft mathematics and outrageous handwriting, i was tasked with keeping scores.

so yes, in the absence of golf pictures, there's James, who i think won at least one of the rounds. i am quite certain that's William and my (considerably) better half just over his shoulder, stepping in to the sea.

my favourite golf course? the one by the north beach / bay corner where the buses stop. other than it being generously priced (£8 for a family of four), i got a hole in one on it. the other, which was £10 for the four of us, was splendid to play on, as that was the one where the Yorkshire (and thus best in the world) Championship of Crazy Golf is held.

perhaps the only time i baulked or paused at the cost of something was when the boys discovered a "Virtual Reality" ride down at the amusements located on the south beach / bay. at £3 a go (each!) this was not a cheap venture.

it was not like they wanted just the one go each, either. but, on the whole, never mind. both of them assured me it was amazing and absolutely worth however much money i channelled into the slot for them to have a go on it.

no, i did not have a go myself. other than the fact that the seats appeared not to have been designed with the larger gent in his 40s in mind, the headset looked quite tricky, what with me wearing glasses. quite like the problems with 3D cinema, i suppose.

some video of the boys enjoying this (expensive) virtual reality thing? sure, since the screen above it appeared to show off whatever thing it was they were doing on the ride.

a sign somewhere or other near the amusement what housed this virtual reality ride made the claim that it is the only such attraction of its kind "on the east coast". well, if that is the case - and why on earth in our trusting society would anyone claim something to be true when it is false - quite a bargain fee paid for it all, i suppose.

to move, perhaps briefly, away from cost concerns, there is the matter of where we stayed. as it happens, in exactly the same place (to the room itself) as the last time. well, it was lovely then, and most splendid again. this was over by the north beach or bay, where it tends to be quieter on a night, except for when them concerts are on at the open air theatre. but, more of that later.

in order to get to the "business end" of Scarborough, as in where all the flashing lights and amusements are, one must travel. and, travel we did, on the magnificent, splendid, open top busses that circulate between the two beaches or bays.

excuse me with financials again, but the value offered by the buses (busses?) is superb. a family ticket for all day rides is all of £8. one presumes this is in some way subsidised by the authorities or businesses, but what forward thinking if so. this really does make getting around and about in Scarborough easy and affordable.

unfortunately i was not able to take nearly as many pictures or videos on the bus as i would have wished to. this was because the boys had a fear that i might drop my phone, or that the wind may catch it and take it away. fear normally has a source, and in this instance James quite nearly lost his hat on our previous visit to such winds. so, he was mindful of the same happening to someone else with something else.

but, still, i was able to get this picture of something most peculiar. well, peculiar and not peculiar.

the bus on which we rode had a language option thing if one had headphones. presumably this was to give a bit of a guide to those travelling between north and south and wishing for some information, or maybe it was to distribute standard bus information.

whereas it is splendid that such is provided, what caught my eye was language option number 9. forgive my potential or possible ignorance here, but is that not the Scottish flag, or if you like the flag of Scotland, and is it not that the people of that nation speak English? i regret not taking a pair of headphones to listen to it, now, so i do, to be sure.

now, if ever i am short £1 of the purchase price of something i want, i shall be momentarily upset and cross with myself then console myself that it is due to me electing to pay homage to The King, Elvis Presley via the conduit or if you like forum or otherwise means of this splendid pinball machine which features His name and His likeness.

i suspect that this pinball machine, resplendent as it is with images of The King, Elvis Presley, was somewhat busted. why? well, on my first go it gave me three pinballs to fire off at once, and then kept on giving loads. whereas this allowed me to amass a score of several million - none of which is my glory and all of it is for the glory of The King, Elvis Presley - it was a little confusing. and yes, i suppose, i am easily confused. but not to Nigel Tufnell levels.

quite, yes. normally when at seaside resorts i would pay homage to The King, Elvis Presley by playing one of those "tipping point", coin waterfall or cascade quasi gambling games featuring His image and playing His music. but, alas, they all appeared to be busted or otherwise broken. so, pinball it was.

whenever i see busted or broken entertainment equipment my thoughts are always drawn to Mr Sinatra. as i have mentioned on several occasions, most notably here, i have every reason to suspect that, whenever he busted or broke some piece of audio or video equipment, Mr Sinatra sold it to Dean Martin, at a premium and profitable price. the pressure placed on Dean Martin by this could well be what caused him to drink so much, and was also maybe a root cause of the several relationship issues he sadly experienced.

did Mr Sinatra ever own a pinball machine or "tipping point" cash cascade device featuring The King, Elvis Presley? i  have no idea, but if he did and he ever busted it, then yes, probably, him and Glass Eye would have loaded it into a truck and taken it around to Dean's place to sell it to him.

there would seem to have been a bit of distraction when speaking about the pinball machine that i had a go on, so here, there's a family selfie for you all, taken by a waterfall at Peasholm Park on an instance when James was not doing a "donut" thing in one of the dragon pedal boats.

Peasholm Park (if i am spelling that right) (hope so) is fantastic. quite extraordinary that one could go to a famous, celebrated seaside town such as Scarborough, and yet not ever actually need to see the beach or sea to have a splendid time. one could remain in the park with all there is to see and activities to engage in for an entire day and consider the day to be magnificent.

no, we did not spend an entire day, but we could and probably would have. but, we were there to see the sea, and of course to engage in the most splendid amusements on offer.

yes, it is entirely possible that i should have grouped all arcade and amusement pictures together, but alas i did not. so, there you go. but yes, i think, in the background you can see some of them "tipping point" style games, although they were not as smart as the Batman one the boys played.

indeed i am aware of the "tipping point" quiz show, called Tipping Point, what is on TV here, specifically ITV i think. the host, whose name escapes me for the moment, is like a Bamber Gascoigne for the millennial generation, and it is certainly serving the aspirations of many by raising the intellectual bar. which may well be a comment on how low that presently is.

but, back to the holiday, or if you will our seaside break. in Scarborough, since that might well have been forgotten as i have rambled through some distractions. did we pick up any memorabilia or other such souvenirs of our time away? of course.

more on the hat William is wearing, but for now the most splendid t-shirt. yes, it is a celebration of the craze or dance of 2018, one called "the floss" for reasons which are not clear to me, but i am, you would think, of an age where one is not expected to be aware of such things.

William is quite the keen practitioner of the floss, such is his love of dancing. so, the chance to obtain a garment, specifically a t-shirt, celebrating this was not to be overlooked or missed.

some video of William showing off his smart floss moves in his smart new "floss like a boss" t-shirt? of course, but William is most keen, if not eager, to point out that this is not his finest ever performance.

can i, moi, do the floss? yes, of course. well, i mean, i know all the moves, and i can do them, but putting them all in the correct order is a bit tricky. difficult to impossible, as point of fact. once i performed the floss and asked William what he thought of it, and he gave every indication that he would very much prefer it if i did not attempt to do it again.

back on it, then, and over the road from Peasholm Park to that other bit of park which might have the same name or might not; the part where the open air theatre thing is. and the train line towards Sea World and all that good stuff.

no, we did not go to Sea World on this visit, as was the case last time. but 75% of the family did have a go on that "sky trail" thing, with me electing to stay behind, or if you like on ground level. this was partially because i am not sure my size and sense of balance were at the forefront of thinking when they designed it, but mostly in case the boys decided to elect to leave the feature earlier than anticipated.

as it turned out, James and William did kind of all right on the lower levels, but it was left to my (considerably) better half to brave the really quite high up aspects of this.

cost? it was £6 each for them to go on, and so far as i was aware there was no such thing as a time limit to it. when one considers the upkeep and staff, that's not bad pricing at all.

some video? well, ok, but this is somewhat brave of me. for reasons best known to herself, my (considerably) better half opted to wear a skirt for doing this sky trail thing. which made looking and indeed filming whilst attempting to protect her Austen-ish, borderline Victorian sense of morality, modesty and values quite the challenge.

as far as i can tell all concerns about modesty being protected are addressed with the above video. if not, well, it should attract them quite strange Japanese types what buy all sorts of peculiar things that you wouldn't normally associate with sexual stuff off of vending machines. that or my (considerably) better half shall instruct me to remove the video. so, watch while you can, i suppose.

GLORIOUS UPDATE ON THE ABOVE BELOW

still, more video to come, if that is your sort of thing.

over at that same park, then, was a feature what the boys went on last time and very much wanted to go on again. i believe, or suspect, they are called "zorbs".

big, inflated balls what one rolls around on the water in would be what i call them. although that is something of a mouthful, so i suppose "zorbs" works as a name. perhaps that, if it indeed is the correct name for them, is some fancy play on the word "orb".

cost? if you insist, £4.40 each for a 5 minute go. which may sound somewhat steep, but it really isn't. the things are no doubt pricey to run, what with it needing inflating every time, and to be honest five minutes looks about he maximum for the amount of time required to extract the fun out of it.

not that i am knocking it, far from it. it's just that for safety reasons there is a limited space you can roll out in, and once you've done that and bashed someone else in their ball (zorb), your five minutes would be all pretty much done.

at least, there were no complaints off the boys when it was time to dock, or whatever it is a zorb does.

no, i am struggling to say much of anything else about the zorb things. so, to clarify, above is a picture of William in one of them, and below is a video of him.

James, it has to be said, was most determined that he would be able to walk in his zorb thing. here he is, in a picture, then, achieving some level of partial success with this.

yes, of course, in the interests of fairness and balance, some video of James doing his thing, whatever that is, in a zorb, is below. this is also the last video of the post.

phew, that is the zorb section done, then. as splendid as they are, there is really not so much i can say about them, except to just let the pictures and videos do their thing.

a little earlier - before all that zorb business and what have you - there was mention of a hat which i did purchase, along with the promise of more of it. so, here it is, modelled by me, with my (considerably) better half looking on, her eyes filled with desire and envy.

if it looks like a conservative blue cowboy hat with red tinsel on it, resplendent with "Great Britain" written on it, with the Union Flag (yes, you are only supposed to call it the Union Jack when it is on a boat or something) either side, that is because it is, as point of fact,  a conservative blue cowboy hat with red tinsel on it, resplendent with "Great Britain" written on it, with the Union Flag (yes, you are only supposed to call it the Union Jack when it is on a boat or something) either side.

there is an obvious question posed by all of this, and the answer is yes, and no. yes, in my imagination, i fully suspect that Boris Johnson wore a hat identical to this as and when he was sent off to different parts of the world to represent all of us. he would no doubt have considered this most splendid and quite appropriate.

no, that is not the reason i bought it, especially not over the Kiss Me Quick one. quite simply, the reason this one got bought was that it only cost 50p. that is a bargain price for any kind of hat. i am trying to think if my Brazil 2014 one off of Poundland was a similar price, or 50% of that.

yes, the two biggest fans of that there Doctor Who show standing in front of what William ostensibly knows as the Tardis. in this instance, it is an actual, fully functional proper Police point, but in the eyes of a fan it is what it is.

actually, all of us are fans, and are thoroughly looking forward to a proper, Yorkshire Doctor Who in the next series. it will probably be a bit boring, for all she will have to do is "make everything like Yorkshire" and all will be perfect, but still it will be splendid and reinforcing to watch.

back over to the south beach or bay, then, and one of the most splendid exhibitions what i have ever been in. this would, but of course, be the Terror Tower, or Tower of Terror if for some reason you think that sounds better, which it might, but it is not the right name for it.

oh, yes, as that above picture shows, some terror is on hand, and you get quite a few scares as you go around it. for a £15 family ticket, or that price for a group of four, this was all fantastic. i am reluctant to give away much in the way of "spoilers", but there is a fantastic Alien and Predator in there, along with all sorts of other scary stuff.

but, be warned, for it really does make you jump.in a good way, i guess, if you like getting scared and that.

a picture of William near that outdoor theatre thing, next to a poster announcing a tribute to The King, Elvis Presley, with the poster on a wall guarding off some sort of fancy new development? i can do that.

there were no less than two (two) concerts on at that open air thing whilst we were there; celebrated band Texas and that James Arthur lad. no, we went to neither, but we saw and heard bits of it. should one be inclined to do so, simply standing at the bank by the (presumably) disused swimming baths gives you an excellent vantage point for it all.

would i, or if you like we, consider going to one of them concerts they have at that place? sure, kind of. the cost would be a factor, mind. now that we have all merrily knacked the recording side of the music industry they do tend to make money off gigs and that. so, from what i can tell, it is rare that tickets for gigs there are as low as, say, £25 each, with means at least £100 for the four of us.

another picture from the beach, since this post is coming to an end in terms of pictures? sure, why not.

indeed, as i possibly commented above (sorry, i don't proof read or other such nonsense), James would have perhaps benefited from having a larger spade with which to dig. oh well, the one he had was the cheapest they had on sale, and so as far as i was concerned it met all the criteria for being perfectly fine.

yes, indeed i am absent from the above picture, for i was taking it. but i am in this next, last, final one.

that's a family selfie thing in Peasholm (please let that be the right spelling) Park, up at the top of the steps, in some sort of Japanese garden thing. no, i have no idea what the association between Scarborough and Japan is, but a fitting tribute all the same.

right, then, that covers just about all of that, i believe. a most splendid time away, as hopefully reflected in all of the above.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

except that's not it, i have been told to update by my (considerably) better half. she reckons that it wasn't a skirt what she had on for that climbing thing; it was trousers and a long shirt. apparently she is quite cross with me for suggesting otherwise.

so, with no modesty to protect as such, some more video.

and a bit more.......

and a bit more, since i think the 1st 2nd new one i added is the same as the original.....

now going back to being excellent to each other.......................................

another Spiros guest post

hey you


well, what can i say. lots of things, look you see, going on the number of posts what i have done here in the past. but no, in this instance, not for me to say much. Spiros, that much loved character on this blog, and let us not forget the greatest legal mind of his generation, has been pricked, but not in the usual way.

rather than meeting a gentleman, possibly in uniform, in a public bathroom and forming a short term yet mutually beneficial friendship, Spiros has in this instance been pricked to write. and here it is. well, just now.

i can only assume that Spiros is considering writing his memoirs, as what he has written this time pertains to the best five things what he can think of when he contemplates his brother. perhaps you know him, or maybe this will be of general interest.

and so, let me get out of the way, with the words of Spiros coming after this image of him.

5. Random acts of dude violence: the garden fork through the TV screen when the news came on in Zulu, reacting to 'the old lady' destroying his treasured copy of New Wave Hookers III by stomping through a selection of her MGM VHS musical tapes, throwing the Alpine tape deck out of the video on the M2 North motorway when it ate the Elvis 'Best of' tape

4.  Ditch the b!tch: having to drive to Bethlehem in the Free State to bail out some chick's sister for being drunk and disorderly and going wee-wees in public could be a new high.  Or not.  Telling her to go and buy smokes at a remote petrol station and speeding off certainly is.  Especially as no money changed hands

3. The puke, the whole puke & nothing but the puke: as experienced by the patrons of "Harlequins Sports Bar" in central Durban as they queued up to watch Mike Tyson fight some wrestler on pay-per-view TV in the mid-nineties, and when the dude couldn't work out how to open the bathroom door of the Hawaii Holiday Flats but mastered the window latch on the third floor after mixing many different kinds of drinks

2. Dude, where's my shoes?: whether stolen by a smack head at some remote outdoor rock festival, lost in a fight with multiple bouncers at a popular casino, p!ssed in by some random passing cat, or fancied by the pigs at a roadblock who don't agree that beer makes you drive better, the dude was not meant to be properly attired from a podiatrist's point of view.  All of these events have happened more than once

1. Keeping up with the news we all know what it's like to anticipate a film.  The dude was no different when A*** Teen Tryouts III went into production.  He especially went early to the Hustler Shop at Kensington Corner, Langerman and Kitchener Drive, Johannesburg, 2094,  since now closed, to secure a copy on VHS.  Stevie managed to tape free-to-view e-news over the tape in question.  Stevie now lives in NZ and believes number plates are the future of the capitalist system. 

yes, i thought it might be nice to put his words in a sort of delicate pastel pink. also, yes, i felt it best to quite heavily censor the above.

right, let me let you get on with whatever it is you are doing after you have finished with this. except to say nice one Spiros, cheers mate.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

salmon sex suit

hey there


so, another month, another post on Bullseye, look you see. do not say you were not warned that these were monthly. but yeah, if this is your first time ever on this blog, welcome, and indeed yes, i do try to, at least once a month, look back (rather than forward) at the wonders of this most magnificent and splendid of shows.

in this instance, then, it is time to look at one of the more controversial episodes to be broadcast. not the most controversial of course; that would be the infamous Bullseye Christmas Gang Bang one which i have covered in some detail in the past, as opposed to the future.

those of you who have watched the magnificent You Can't Beat A Bit Of Bully documentary will be familiar with this. if not, and as pictured above, there was one episode (at least) on which his excellency, the eternally treasured Jim Bowen opted or otherwise elected to wear a pink salmon suit to host the show in.

eyebrows were raised. questions were asked. Bullseye was meant to be sunday early evening viewing, suitable for the entire family, and hosted by the man who would be Pope when that German fella believed the job was beyond him. and there's Jim Bowen, brazenly wearing the single most sexually provocative set of garments ever to feature on domestic, theoretically free to air television.

one myth, legend or an urban nature or rumour about this controversial episode is, indeed, and as point of fact, pictured above. for years - decades - people have spoken of the time Bullseye featured a lesbian lady (as if there were any other kind) Mick Jagger tribute act on the show.  few, if any, connected this to the episode featuring the salmon sex suit. well, as you can see, they are one in the same. although, in fairness, i have no idea if the lady in question is, or was ever, a lesbian, and further i have no idea at all, or whatsoever, if she ever carved a career out of tribute, affecting impersonations of any members of The Rolling Stones.

but then, much of that which i thought i knew of Bullseye is all out the window, so to speak, or otherwise gone. as regular readers shall be away, for a while now i have been touring the country, researching a book on what happened to all the class prizes people won on Bullseye, with particular emphasis on the speedboats and caravans that were often offered to them what were most smart with the darts.

the results of this research have been if not disappointing then a little bit depressing. whereas i expected to find speedboats and caravans kept (preserved) as loving tributes to the eternal memory of his excellency Jim Bowen, alas no. above is the only suitable speedboat i could find, one which was probably a prize on Bullseye, to take a picture of.

in keeping with the overall tone of this post, and i appreciate that i have strayed somewhat, it seems that most, maybe all, of the speedboats and caravans won on the show ended up being used for various illicit reasons. rather than look upon such modes of transport and accommodation with reverence, awe and a great deal of respect, they became sexual magnets. people, maybe understandably so, got quite aroused and somewhat titillated by being in the presence of something what Jim Bowen had touched. maybe the inevitable conclusion, or climax, of this was an expression of joy through the forum of sexual activity.

did any of the speedboats won end up being used for less than legal activities, such as smuggling? whilst i am aware of a number of orgies which took place on at least one of the speedboats won, unfortunately i am not sure. but, you would guess, yes. i mean, genius cover. "no, officer (or whatever they call the sea police, admiral maybe), i have not got anything or anyone illegal on board, i would not disrespect the fact that i won this on Bullseye" would all you need say and you'd be waved on to continue sailing and enjoying your victory.

exactly how hedonistic the 80s were is summed up in the above image. yes, that is of course the excellent, outstanding keeper of the darts score, and keeper of the secrets of celebrities who featured on Bullseye, Tony Green. this was taken at a time when he was "getting in character". some totally coked up theatre choreographer approached Tony Green with the idea of him playing Kevin Keegan as Donny Osmond in the role of that one out of Saturday Night Fever in a revival of Grease. an offer of three quarters of a million pounds was made for the role, but undoubtedly Tony will have graciously said he would do it as a favour, no trouble.

i bet you it was the same coked up theatre choreographer what approached Mick Talbot out of The Style Council to play George Bernard Shaw in a play; a play that never happened and a decision which brought about an end of the band he was in. but no, you are right, it would probably be best to head on back to the subject this post is ostensibly supposed to be about.

maybe, you are thinking, it was just some kind of accident or co-incidence that Jim Bowen wore the salmon sex suit to host one edition of Bullseye, at least, perhaps more as they did film two or three episodes a day and Jim Bowen was no Madonna; he didn't "do" costume changes. well, no, not really. any suggestion that it was not deliberate is kind of knocked back with the above.

it is quite shocking and surprising to see Jim Bowen making such an overt, well known and in certain cultures obscene sexual gesture. this would, i suspect, be particularly true of them only familiar with Jim Bowen ever since he agreed to become Pope in 2013 or whenever. you have to remember that Jim Bowen was very much a man of the world, however. he was no doubt aware of, and very comfortable with, his unique sexual magnetism, and i dare say he enjoyed that which it brought him. but rare was it to see him celebrate it in public in such a way. about 18 million people will have seen the above at the time of broadcast, and no doubt billions since. or a couple of hundred million, anyway.

how about one of them animated, Commodore 64 mode "GIF" things that i have recently worked out how to make? sure. for you, here is Jim Bowen with the extra special guest on the salmon sex suit edition of Bullseye.

yes, Greavsie, or if you like Jimmy Greaves. the legendary footballer, better known at that time for being Greavsie out of Saint And Greavsie, a fairly popular football television show broadcast around midday on a Saturday. it was broadcast around about the time most gents had been down the bookies to conduct their business for the day (there was no online gambling), and just before they would need to set off down the pub, or to the match, or both. quite good it was, if not Bullseye.

more about the book i have spent some time writing about what happened to all the speedboats and caravans won on Bullseye? well, in truth, doing so would really rather steal the thunder of the book once the lawyers have approved it. but, as i can tell you are really interested and curious, sure.

that's me, getting ready, in some formidable rain to follow a fairly reliably unreliable tip about a speedboat being used for sex tours of the Humber down in Hull. as it turned out, sadly, some three hours of driving and no i didn't find anything. my search of the Humber was exhaustive too, for i spent about five minutes looking at it.

anyway, there will probably be a chapter or two, or ten, on the many dead end leads i have followed, as and when the book is in a condition both i and the lawyers considered to be suitable for publication. let us now, if anyone is still reading, instead return to the subject of Jim Bowen wearing the salmon sex suit.

perhaps i should have given you some warning before showing that picture, but it is done now. yes, that is indeed the Jim Bowen seduction pose in full effect. women, and in some cases unintentionally men, wilted when Jim made his special sexually stylish move.

it was not just the look either. many of you, in particular those of you who were there in the 80s, will be well aware of the Jim Bowen "sexual strut". usually you can tell when he performed this on Bulseye by counting back around 9 months from any day when the NHS said that they had an "unexpectedly and extraordinarily" high number of births for the day.

now, possibly for the first time ever in history (i have not researched this, so please note the possibly), i bring you the Jim Bowen "sexual strut", in the salmon sex suit, in Commodore 64 mode "GIF" thing. and so i really, really hope this "gif" thing works on your device.

do i think Jim Bowen came under pressure to cease wearing the salmon sex suit on Bullseye? this would not be a development which would surprise me. censorship proliferated throughout the 80s, with the Thatcher regime determined to absolutely ban or tax anything at all that brought the slightest bit of pleasure, enjoyment or entertainment to the proletariat.

but also, Jim would not wanted to have caused a fuss or scene. he would have known that wearing his salmon sex suit would have caused notice to be paid, but perhaps he innocently thought not too much attention would be given. maybe he simply elected, in a noble act of self-censorship, to retire the garment, as resplendent as he was in it, for the greater good. but also yes, it is better to blame Thatcher, for she was pretty much responsible for anything which went wrong in the 80s.

some of you for some reason might have wanted to see a non-animated, non-Commodore 64 mode image of Greavsie on Bullseye whilst Jim looked most dapper in his salmon sex suit. whilst i can think of no reason whatsoever why one would wish to see this, let me not be seen as having stood in the way. the above image, then, is for you and your wishes. or wants.

far more likely is that you will want to see a bit more animated, Commodore 64 mode Jim Bowen in the salmon sex suit. this is most splendid, and so here you go.

so, no, then. whilst admittedly i am pushing it somewhat with posts like this, clearly i have not as such or as of yet run out of things of interest (even if only passing) to share with you all about the wonders of the show Bullseye.

by this stage i would wager no one is reading, but instead simply looking at the wonderful pictures. so, then, i will use that as an excuse to sign off now.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!