so here we are, look you see. another month. this is August, and as such it is the 8th month of the year in terms of the calendar we have all come to accept. yes, the Napoleonic calendar would have been way cooler, but so be it.
following on from July, you probably don't need me to tell you that August is yet another month named in honour of a celebrated Roman Emperor (or similar), this time Augustus. do not, however, think that some charlatan or soothsayer merely pulled this batch of 31 days out of their @rse and said "this will do to honour him". it wasn't even as flimsy as being that this period of 31 days (give or take) was particularly pleasant to sit outside in, quaffing some ales and speaking to the ladies (or gents). no, August is specifically when it is because this was the time of year when Augustus seemed to have his greatest and most celebrated victories in battle, or whatever he did. it is just the one degree i have in history, so for all i know Augustus was quite smart at the darts or skittles at this time of year, and that is why August is when it is.
but also yes. despite the fact that Simon le (bloody) Bon went through an early 2000s period of simply (well, apparently) trying to steal my look so as to gain some credibility, i still retain tremendous, in fact every, respect for him and the overwhelming majority of Duran Duran. it would be nice if some future (possibly, i yield, spectacularly dumbed down by our standards) generation rejected all that Rome and Augustus stuff as either false or boring, and came to consider that August was named such after some sort of special, quite class moon what featured in the song Wild Boys.
calendar time, then. i have elected to avoid the controversy of July, somewhat disappointingly i would like to add, and am just giving you the regular calendar gander on this occasion. no promise is made that the same shall be true of the remainder of the year, when hopefully one or two of you have calmed down a bit.
you, presumably, don't need me to tell you that the above is the Winnie the Pooh calendar what i have strategically placed in the kitchen. in something of a departure from the standard, the artist, quite possibly as an August thing, has included Christopher Robin in this one.
any dates of note or consequence in August? surely, plenty. here are some highlights for your consideration.
2 - Jim Capaldi out of top band Traffic was born on this day in 1944. go on, give Dear Mr Fantasy a spin, enjoy the groove of the vibes, man.
6 - possibly "happy birthday internet", as on this day in 1991 Tim Berners-Lee released all the information, and "www" made its first ever appearance. but this is only applicable if you deal in fact, and not make believe things like the time when Al Gore claimed to have invented "an internet".
8 - on this day in 1983 the album An Innocent Man by Billy Joel was released. yes, the one what has Uptown Girl on it, a great pop song but i prefer the album's titular tune.
14 - it is Falklands day today, although for some reason this is only marked or otherwise celebrated in the Falkland Islands. so much for "global village", then.
16 - despite substantial evidence to the contrary, some believe that this is the day on which The King, Elvis Presley died, in 1977.
17 - Monty Python's Life of Brian (as opposed to anyone else who made a film called Life of Brian) was released on this day in 1979. weirdly, in the USA - the UK only got to see it some 3 or so months later.
20 - legendary American entertainer and performer Jerry Lewis died on this day in 2017. a chap involved in one of the most mysterious and quite controversial incident in cinema history; feel free to google The Day The Clown Cried for more information.
23 - a very happy birthday indeed to the legendary Shaun Ryder, who turns a very Heinz advertising friendly 57 today. mad for it, twisting my melon, Madchester rave on, etc.
26 - similar to the 23rd, snort it if you've got it, for it is the birthday of the great unifier himself, Michael Gove. i think the best thing about his cocaine admission was that somehow he got away with claiming it all to be a "mistake of youth", despite him either being in or very near to his 30s at the time. hope for us all in our confessions, then.
31 - on this day in 1986 Rage Hard by Frankie Goes To Hollywood entered the charts at number 6. no, sadly, it didn't make number one, no matter how many copies i bought.
but, you ask, did anything else happen in August? yes, most certainly, and probably a lot of interesting things too. the above are, however, enough for the purpose of this post, i believe.
yes, i know several of you shall want too see what's on the "retro" (note not "vintage" or "classic") car calendar for the month, for you like that sort of thing. no, not that sort of thing but "that sort of thing", if you see what i mean. be warned, however, for disappointment shall be yours.
the idea here started off ever so well. for an exceptional period, Ford were synonymous (if that is the correct word) with "fanny magnet", which is to say makers of cars and other such automobiles which members of the gentry would purchase in order to draw unto them the attention of the ladies. whereas this was quite true of most of the 70s and a great deal of the 80s, such a magnificent reputation inexplicably came to an end around about, or precisely, 1987 with the introduction of this.
if it is not broken then do not attempt to fix it is a rather basic fact that producers and manufacturers worldwide tend to ignore. here, Ford did so in a most sad way. whereas, in terms of being a right bangin' fanny magnet (or vaginal lodestone if you wish to use the correct terminology) the original Ford Fiesta was very much the David Lee Roth of cars, this ill-advised 1987 "Mark 2" version was, to be blunt, the Sammy Hagar. only those men who wish to attract absolutely no ladies at all purchased this one, and not once was any cool tape played in one of them.
well, anyway, time to end this post, sadly on a rather disappointing note. i suppose with it being August 2019 i should really give consideration to a 2020 calendar. undoubtedly the ones i shall buy will turn out simply to be the cheapest, but you never know. perhaps i shall find a nice one of Glass Eye or even Mr Sinatra, perhaps.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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