of all the things that i had hoped, or dared to dream, or even realistically expected to become, being a "social media influencer" has not particularly featured, look you see. this is a title, or if you will status, which has unexpectedly been thrust upon me by the effect, or affect, my efforts on this blog have had.
what does it mean, to be a "social media influencer"? i do not know, except that it would appear to make me - in quite an unsolicited manner - the contemporary of some rather peculiar people. them strange ones what seem to make an awful lot of money plugging things online. which, now that i think, i do not.
just how did this happen? mostly it came about because of a post i did last year, Aspects Of Our Society. this informative and insightful look (if i say so myself) at the English way of doing things would seem to have been taken quite a shine to by some. i know as fact, for instance, that the EU has inspected my report and has used it as the frame of reference for that whole 'brexit' thing. further, the Australians have seen it, decided that us English Bruce's and Sheila's are in fact "fair dinkum" and so have dropped all ideas of republicanism.
i feel under some pressure, then, to ensure that i retain my "influencer"status. even if it means i must speak or promote ("influence", i suppose) about things i know next to nothing of. which i am certain no fellow influencer ever, ever does. to this end, let me, or if you will us, look at aspects of another society, as promised by the title. specifically, the American society.
this has not been chosen at random. for several years there has been an inexplicable, for may irresponsible, rush to have our very own society become irreversibly Americanized. examples of this are in how Poundland from time to time sell those red "baseball" (poor man's rounders) caps with "make America great again" written on them, as the (quite) popular incumbent US President can from time to time be seen resplendent in. also, for some reason certain elements of the UK population take it upon themselves to celebrate things like Thanksgiving and July 4th, with one suspecting they are somewhat missing the point of the latter.
whilst this has some plus points - filth, smut and mucky videos seem to flow like water, for instance - there are several downsides. my knowledge of American society is just about 98% based on what i have seen on the tele and in films, and quite frankly i am horrified about the idea of living in a world where no one ever says "goodbye" at the end of a phone call, simply instead hanging up when they are done speaking.
above this writing is a rudimentary video. you may well have seen this on the internet before, and my thanks and credit to whoever filmed it and initially "uploaded" it "online". to my knowledge this video is a fair and accurate representation of what the whole of American society is like and all about, except of course for the parts not shown.
yes, indeed, i do have some exceptionally good friends in America. whereas i run the risk of upsetting or "offending" them with my interpretation of their society, there is always the chance that anything i do could do that to someone. besides, i would like to think they are well aware of my ways by now, and are quite used to it all.
for us English, a stark and quite notable difference is immediately observed. the American version of a busker takes a natural shine to playing the drums in public. proof of this is in this video, and of course in the celebrated film Taxi Driver, when Robery De Niro and her off of Moonlighting walk past a drumming busker on their way to see one of them mucky, filthy films i mentioned earlier in passing.
here in England, we are of course used to our buskers normally having a guitar, and treating all and sundry to their interpretation of Wonderwall off of Oasis. from time to time we get a "posh" busker what has a violin and can do Game Of Thrones theme, but no, we don't really have drummers setting up. which is odd, considering how we treasure our drummers here, with particular emphasis on Keith Moon. should we go full tilt American and have a lot of buskers doing drumming on our streets, one suspects there will be a good deal of tutting.
like, for instance, the immense proclivity Americans have for simply abandoning items like luggage and, well, luggage everywhere. this would not go down well at all.
in America, if someone just abandons a suitcase like how they have done here in this video, it either gets stolen, ignored, handed in to the police or retrieved by the ostensible owner. not so in England, at least not now. so sensitive are we to such things that the entire area in which the abandoned item is found gets fenced off, the bomb squad get called in to blow it up, millions are spent on a police inquiry and compulsory counselling is provided to anyone who was within a dozen postcodes ("ZIP codes") of the incident, so that they may come to terms with their plight and their shared tragedy.
can we adapt to a world in which we accept that things from time to time get left behind or otherwise abandoned, and not hold a public inquest into how it happened? i would really like to think that yes, we could, but at this stage it is difficult to see the authorities allowing it.
going on what i have seen, wise is it the person who elects early on to select the role of pimp as a career. other than getting to dress most dapper and drive really extravagant cars, pimps seem to spend their day "keepin' their hoes in line" (whatever that means), cutting those who "cross" them with a blade or otherwise inflicting harm, and assisting the constabulary with their inquiries and investigations into certain not entirely legal incidents which the pimp had absolutely nothing to do with but would appear to know who did and will share such with the asking officer if the "heat" gets too "hot".
on the whole the term "hoe" strikes me as derogatory, but it is not for me to question how Americans use words. except their incorrect use of the word "fanny". anyway, when one watches films and shows on the tele it seems these "hoes" work absolutely everywhere in America, i do wonder sometimes if that is the biggest profession over there. it does reflect that they are more relaxed and at ease with that sort of thing (sex) than we are here. anyway, as far as i can see the role of the hoe is to be briefly employed by somewhat lonely gentlemen after an arrangement has been discussed with the pimp, and to do such on repeat until such time as a handsome rich bloke in a limo turns up and offers to marry them.
one such thing is the plight of the homeless, or if you will the tramps. whereas over here that is what we call them, in America it seems they are called "vagrants" or "bums". in respect of the latter, American gentlemen visiting our land might want to consider being very careful about how they use the word "bums" when speaking to an English gentleman, lest there be any sort of unexpected misunderstanding.
here in England, it is the job of the tramp, or if you will "vagrant", to maintain a perfectly balanced scent of stale urine, and to ask of passing members of the public a donation of 10p (a "dime"), ostensibly for a cup of tea although i know of no place which sells such so cheap. this all changes when we are fully Americanised. from what i have seen, it is the job of the American "bum" to perpetually collect scrap metal in a shopping trolley, to always have immaculate teeth, to observe and accurately recount to police officers the details of any crime which they happen to witness "being perpetrated", and from time to time go on a significant shooting spree with a shotgun, going on that one film i watched with him out of Blade Runner in it. no, not him, the other one.
generally, though, Americans do not use our (superior) words for such. if one were to call someone in America a twat, or a w@nker, or even a d!ckhead, they may be unaware of why this is so. for some reason they use other (inferior) terms, such as "as$hole", "jerk" and "douchebag". nope, no idea on the latter, but yes it does sound like it might be French and so undoubtedly it is both a fitting and apt way to express displeasure at the actions of a gent.
the American version of a twat is not, it would seem, all that different from our own. it might be fair to say they are the same worldwide. being obnoxious is a major trait, and oblivious to the needs or welfare of others comes in to it. twats do things like block up public transport by insisting on retaining their backpack on their back at all times, or standing in doorways or other such places where people wish to walk. also, you can invariably count on them to do a significant percentage below the speed limit on roads designated for high speeds, and then inexplicably accelerate to a slightly higher speed above the limit in low speed areas.
quite a few of you will at this point be asking of the biggest twats in English society, namely vegans who cannot get on silently with being vegans and cyclists who cannot see an alternate to their "right" to ride in the middle of the road. yes, i am sure American has these brands of twats too. but, also, America has generally relaxed gun laws. so one presumes they just eat and cycle in a less twat way, lest they be shot.
well, anyway, there you have it. i am quite sure that his has been enough "influencing" for one post. for those that would usually find interest in this sort of thing, most happy day if such is true of that which you have read.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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