it feels, or seems, like quite a while since i discussed my plight with being defrauded, or otherwise conned, out of my pension. this is a matter in which i am far from alone, look you see. like many, many wonderful people i, too, have placed most of my retirement hopes in this oddly named "lottery" fund. the payouts on investment look spectacular, but getting paid out from it appears rather elusive.
recently it was so that i got one of them 'extra' policies off of this lottery pension fund, the so-called "lucky dip" one. this i procured from my usual policy having 2 (two) numbers "correct". due to an excess of cash, which they haven't normally seemed keen on sharing, the fund administrators allocated me a provisional payout of a whole (entire) £5 as well as another "lucky dip" policy.
a lack of imagination struck me as i collected this pension stipend. with nothing much better coming to mind to do with the £5 i decided to "re-invest" the amount in that promising to be lucrative, offers to be instantly paying form of pension investment. yes, scracthcards, or "scratchies".
generally, or usually, i would not pay too much attention to these things. my understanding is that they are highly addictive as a form of securing a pension, with many being lured in, only for disappointment to follow. considering that i am known, in some circles, as a smoker (sorry) it is perhaps fair to contest that i have one of them "addictive personalities", so it is likely best i do, mostly, leave these alone. but, you know, impulse and all that.
how did this all work out? well, no, i am not retired at time of writing, so perhaps not as well as i had expected. but, been here before with this form of pension. so as to increase my chances of actually getting a pension in this instance, i did indeed diversify. it seemed sensible to split the £5 equally over one £3 and then two £1 pension schemes, or "cards". from what i recall this is called "hedge funding", although it quite possibly is not. you would have to ask Spiros, if you can somehow get him out of whichever gentlemen's public restroom facility he is currently making short term friendships in.
one important aspect of doing these "scratchcards" is of course scratching off the silver cover on the portfolio. doing so reveals whether or not your retirement policy has matured. an unusual way to conduct such business, but here we are. for this i decided to use my most recent "lucky" coin. that's one of the old types of pound (sterling) coins that you can't use any more. recently, then, i appear to have gotten all f****d over by a charity shop in Brentwood (of all places) what slipped me this in my change. oh, well, i have enabled some laundering, i suppose, or just made an extra donation.
what was my payout? here we delve into the world of quantum fiscal terms, by way of a quadratic equation or to. try to keep up. i invested the £5 which i was not expecting into different funds, and the return across all three (3) was £2. depending on how you look at this - perspective, etc - i ended up either £3 down in real terms or £2 up in actual terms.
so, back to verk, presumably.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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