a little while ago i, look you see, wrote and published something of a "think piece", if not substantial guide, as to how a chap - or lady - could easily win the lotto or lottery in their country. whilst i gave a brief, maybe superficial overview of all the known ways to win, i focused on how science - or certain disciplines of scientific endeavour - were the key to success.
sadly, to be sure, it would seem if not appear that i was somewhat hasty in this. my celebration of the wonders of matters such as chaos theory and quantum physics were wildly misplaced. if you are in a rush, no, well yes, but no, as it turns out science has betrayed me and no i did not, as point of fact, win the £6.5million which was promised by it. well, promised or theoretically suggested, but according to those in the know science is always "fact", at least until someone researches the one fact and replaces it with another.
i, in good faith, took my ticket from the previous failed draw to a grocer of some note. that ticket, as you may recall, saw me secure a "free go" at a jackpot what totalled the mythical £6.5million. pictured above, in Commodore 64 mode despite the ticket not being worthy of such, is the "new" ticket, the one what science said would win me £6.5million.
yes, indeed, i exchanged the "winning" free go ticket for this one in a kind of breezy, whimsical manner. there was some light conversation with the employee of the grocer, the subject of which mostly concentrated on me purchasing a villa or chalet in Cyprus if (when, according to quantum chaos theory) i won the jackpot.
any chance of a protracted conversation about Cyprus, etc, was cut short by the rough, gruff and short sounds being made by the - and this really stretches the definition - gentleman waiting to be served behind me. quite impatient he was, for he seemed eager to purchase his basket loaded with cheap, nondescript branded vodka and no brand cornflakes as soon as possible. how very sad that my efforts to discuss science with someone had to be cut short by the fact that someone else was in a rush for breakfast.
that is the ticket what quantum science says won £6.5million, pictured next to a screen of the results of that particular lotto draw; one in which the lotto draw said no, quantum science, chaos theory and indeed my good self can all go f*** themselves.
some harm has indeed been caused by this failure of, or betrayal by, science. in anticipating all that money i allowed myself an extra spread of luxury butter on my croissant, figuring soon i would be able to afford as much butter as i cared to name in imperial measurement terms. also, i have had to go and buy a ticket for the next draw, as this one didn't even score another free go.
despite my poor experiences with it, no, i do not have an overt or constant quarrel with science. some of it is quite useful, i suppose. just never when you would prefer it to be, really.
on, in regards of the fellow patron of the grocer, should you be wondering or speculating the answer is no, i was not as point of fact in Scotland. no idea if the gentleman was Scottish, 50-50 really.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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