gauntlet

heya


for many people, look you see, the word gauntlet means many things. in most cases, which is to say amongst the elite and intellectuals of our society, gauntlet means Gauntlet, the boss arcade game in which you played as a warrior or a wizard and had to battle elks, demons and other such sh!t. beyond that understanding, there are the culture who would find their thoughts instantly drawn to The Gauntlet, a 1970s Clint Eastwood film which is incomprehensibly watchable on repeat viewings.

a lesser known or, to be sure, understood understanding of the word is with reference to a glove. in essence the word was devised to express a glove of a particular kind, most commonly worn in combat. things change, however, of course. just as "r n b" at some point in the late 90s changed from meaning "quality rhythm and blues guitar music" to mean "sampled, monotonous tripe with some twat chanting "one time" over it", so we now no longer really use the word gauntlet as it was intended.

until now, of course. once, in a more eloquent and celebrated time, one "threw down" their gauntlet to challenge someone else to a duel or other such form of combat. this, going on my observations, might be coming back big time, so it is, to be sure.

yes, quite. that is a glove which i spotted on the road during my travels. well, for the purposes of this post having some sort of point, not a glove but a gauntlet. maybe i spend too much time considering such things, or my brain is simply wired that way, i know not, but i would like to think this was thrown to the floor as an indication of a duel being requested, rather than it being simply dropped or discarded.

where did i happen to see this fine, splendid, well crafted glo...gauntlet? in the car park of an establishment known for providing patrons with as much alcoholic infused beverages as they can afford a cash price to pay for. indeed yes, maybe or perhaps it was the consumption of such which led to emotions being affected in a manner which caused one patron to call upon a fellow quaffing patron to resolve a dispute via physical means. this has been known to happen from time to time.

exactly where, in a more geographical than metaphorical sense, was all of this? why, Hartlepool.

that there is an "official" Hartlepool car park parking paid for sticker, endorsed and provided by Hartlepool Borough Council in exchange for £1 in real money. if you can find one of their well hidden car parking areas, in which cars are not so much welcome as they are mildly tolerated.

a little while ago, regular readers may recall, i took some time to celebrate the universally celebrated approach that Hartlepool has towards anything it, as a body of people, suspect of being French. pause was taken during this to question the wisdom of their anti-car stance. i was subject to fiscal, punitive damages by them on a wretched, wet day so as they may illustrate the brute, ruthless force in which Hartlepool says that it loathes, detests and hates cars.

indeed, that is an abandoned item of footwear, in the singular, once again in Hartlepool. or, you know, close enough to Hartlepool that it might as well be. one rarely sees abandoned, singular items of footwear in Yorkshire these days; for reasons beyond my comprehension the practice of doing this seems to have moved north.

any theories i may be willing to share about this particular item? well, the quality of image is poor as i had to take it from some distance. two gentlemen in a van were sat watching it, observing. they were in some sort of rudimentary workman's clothing outfits, but i suspect this was a ruse or a scam. perhaps they were charged with making the tale of Cinderella real, and were waiting to pounce on any lady who had a foot what fitted into the shoe. i was reticent if not reluctant, then, to venture too close towards what may have been a trap.

now, then, this is quite interesting. pictured above, in Commodore 64 mode, is the reverse of the perfectly legal car parking sticker from Hartlepool. as you can quite clearly see, it is instructing you, the patron, to in the future not bring your car, but rather ride a bus. from this i can conclude two things. one is that they must have a lot more buses in Hartlepool than what we do in my part of the world. second would be that they clearly do not want outsiders visiting; only those within the realm of the Hartlepool bus routes have any business visiting their stores.

this is a classic instance of short foresightedness, of course. or whatever. attempting to banish cars from Hartlepool is admirable in the sense of limiting pollution, congestion and so forth. but also, from my experiences, imposing random and excessive fines on a mere whim on cars is what presently props up the entire Hartlepool economy. if Hartlepool succeeded in having no cars come, then there would be no fines issued, and no money in for the honourable Borough Council. oh.

consider the cigarette model. for many years here in England, indeed the UK, a lot of effort was spent saying smoking is the worst thing in the world, it kills more people than anything else, it costs the NHS a fortune, etc. now we have a country where smoking figures are at their lowest. also, though, the revenue from cigarettes is gone, NHS costs are even higher than when half the country smoked, people are living longer and need care for many more years. the result is, of course, now the experts saying "oh, actually obesity is causing all that cancer and cost, so let us ban that now".

in terms of the above, when Hartlepool is as free of cars as it is of the French, i do wonder what they will tax or fine instead to raise money for the many Borough Council workers to live the life they want. the people of Hartlepool will, no doubt, find out.

for comparison, that's a parking sign in Hambleton, which is not Hartlepool and has as little as possible to do with Hartlepool, except maybe a shared view on the French but that is surely a common vision of all. note, with interest, how friendly, polite, civil and affordable they are in respect of motorists. the message here is not "f*** off with your f***ing car", but rather "you are welcome to visit us, please enjoy your stay".

would i consider attending a seminar on the issue of parking in Hartlepool, perhaps giving a keynote speech as part of my presence? yes, i would. provisionally i think i would structure my presentation on just how right Hartlepool were in regards of the French, but ultimately the focus would be on how the goodwill they have from the entire world in this respect is being undermined by being so mean, miserable and unreasonable towards anyone who happens to want to visit the place by means of a car.

oh, sure, yes, i do appreciate that the Hartlepool approach to anything French is probably not all that much loved or embraced in France, but really nobody cares what the French think. once they've worked out the basics, like border defence and having proper elections which result in a proper President or whatever being elected, then i am sure the international community will pay some attention.

indeed, yes, that is another look at the glov....gauntlet which this blog post was initially about, before it all got somewhat distracted. the interesting thing is that my blog seems to attract a significant number of readers off of France - 1,297 in the last month at time of publication. and 210 from Kuwait, a sovereign state which is in many respects "the France of the Middle East", when you think of certain armed conflicts in the 90s.

anyway, i am sure that's been enough for you to sit and read as you've enjoyed a cup of tea or coffee. that's how i like to picture you, dear readers. making a nice warm beverage, then sitting down with your internet connected device of choice, deciding to pass a few moments reading whatever nonsense i have come up with now.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!