not so long ago i, look you see, wrote (with some passion) about the time i was called upon to do, or if you will perform, a most noble level of civic duty. this was to be on the jury of Viz Crown Court, Fulchester. i, like several unsuspecting readers of The Viz, was summoned to serve and hear the sordid details of a case involving a gentleman, a zoo, a crocodile and what can only be described as a quite unnatural act.
ladies and gentlemen, with all deliberations and formalities completed, the verdict of this particularly unpleasant case is now "in". as i made some sort of vague, partial promise to give an update, and indeed as i have absolutely nothing else better to write about, i thought i would share the verdict with you, so that it may be a matter of public record, or whatever.
yes, you see, guilty. i think the fact that the accused, the disgraced Mr Cummerbund, asked for 134 (that is one hundred and thirty four) similar such incidents to be taken into consideration vindicates my point that the police were not exactly going to go and arrest an innocent man. for some reason a number of my contemporaries questioned my logic, if you will my rationale, in such a view. i believe the facts here entirely vindicate this view.
my main concern is, of course, the leniency of the sentence. once again the hard work of the police has been undone by the generosity of the courts. a sentence should seek both to punish the criminal and send a stern, clear warning to all others. i do not believe that a 2 year suspended sentence is going to frighten or scare off any other sort of randy chap who also thinks it is perfectly acceptable to bum a crocodile.
whilst on the subject of the police, a recent BBC documentary suggested that the constabulary of Hartlepool was quite stretched, with only ten officers available. might i respectfully suggest, then, that Hartlepool council give some consideration to managing resources, and have some of their ten thousand (approx) traffic wardens work as police officers, catching criminals instead of randomly ticketing any vehicle which dares to drive into the place?
no, nothing to do with the trial, that, or the police. i just noted it in a recent edition of Private Eye, and it amused me a bit so i thought i would add it here for good measure. not that i am much of a Nick Cave fan, really; a superficial one at best. both he and his music are ok, they are just not my thing. however, in my years i have come to appreciate and respect that for some reason mentioning you are a Nick Cave fan makes you seem more appealing, interesting and indeed attractive to the ladies, so i have from time to time blagged it a bit.
oh, yes, the title of the blog. indeed, you clever people, a reference to the aftermath of the infamous Timothy McVeigh trial, where one side referred to it as the title, and the other said that it was a triumph of vengeance over justice. no particular reason for using that title, but if you spotted or clocked the reference, what can i say but well done to you.
right, then, i shall take my leave from you here, for now, until the next time. and, until the next time,
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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