a remarkably succinct, and indeed accurate, statement to make would be that fortune does not often smile favourably on me when it comes to domestic appliances. for some reason it is so, look you see, that i appear to have bad luck, or am perhaps jinxed.
highlights of this? there are many. and they happen both north and south of the equator, before you state that such is a factor. some examples would be the flooding of the washing machine, the snap of the tumble dryer and, of particular relevance here, the fanny belt of the vacuum cleaner. these are all appliances which i have, more or less, used in accordance with what i imagine is written in the instruction manual which comes with them. but, still, the twats break on me.
so it was that our vacuum cleaner - ill-tempered, cantankerous beast it always has been - elected to cease (as in stop) working. this was on a Sunday, for the record, and after 10am. actually, a bit later, as i had managed to procrastinate for a bit. i plugged it in, it started to do whatever it does that vaguely pertains to what it is supposed to do, then it did a peculiar noise and just gave up.
due to the ways and whims of the prevailing laws in respect of how and when shops may trade on a Sunday, it was so that (after selecting suitable garments from my extensive wardrobe) i could make my way to a suitable retailer and purchase a new vacuum cleaner. one that i hoped would not be quite so miserable. of the dynamic, wide and versatile range that was on offer, i could get one exactly like the one what has a fanny belt (see link above) which frequently snaps, one that i would be able to purchase if the shop accepted liver or kidney rather than cash, or a 'Henry' one, which are quite popular and reasonably well thought of.
if i may take (something of) a leap of assumption here, you will have probably (or possibly) worked out that from these options, as much fun as frequently changing the fanny belt on one that does not work so well anyhow, i went with this 'Henry' style of one. let me, or allow us, i said, experience the life what so many have with one of these devices.
well, yes, the fact that it was on special was also an appeal. but, special is as special does. it was still set at quite a premium price, with the required fee for the vacuum cleaner being just south of £100. and of course on top of that one needed to by the "bags" for it. my understanding was that such bags, for collecting the vacuumed waste, were an environmental thing of the past. not so. and as it is less messing about to simply bin the bag and move on, i am glad of this.
they, with they being whoever makes the machines, seem particularly proud of the fact that they have made (and i presume give or take) ten million of these devices. well, that is all well and good, but have they also sold that many? i mean, some twat - Sammy Hagar, say, or that horrid Mr Kim Kardassian - could have ten million copies of their (in the loosest sense) recordings pressed, but that does not mean they will sell them all. or, any.
going on what i can see, though, it is that they have sold a substantial amount of these houses. at present, and this is quite a gamble of me but still, i imagine that more households have a Henry (or related, see below) vacuum cleaner in the house than have a patriotic framed picture of Boris, or beloved leader, on display in the lounge or living room. this will be actual real sales too, and none of that "streaming" rubbish what makes the likes of Ed Sherry (or whatever) look better, more successful and considerably more popular than they actually are.
and why not, really. on the off chance that you have come here to look at this for a review of the Henry vacuum cleaner, and also had the patience to read this far, it really is a most splendid device. well, it goes about its business, doing what it was designed, built and sold for, in a way that our previous vacuum cleaner had next to no interest in doing. so yes, as some sort of social media influencer type, i say this device is class and would not hesitate to say yes to anyone already thinking of getting one.
one concern (not a major one but still) i have over the Henry vacuum cleaner is the efforts being made to turn the concept into some sort of "expanded universe" thing, mainly via the means of a Disneyfication of them. by that i mean yes, the issue of giving different types of vacuum cleaner human names, and attributing to them human features and human emotions.
for those unaware of the phenomenon, a great deal of needless deaths have been caused (accidentally and unintended, i am certain) by Disney's habit of giving human emotions and personalities. by depicting animals such as tigers, lions, snakes, dwarfs, elephants, crocodiles, spiders and so forth as singing, dancing, jovial happy go lucky types, some of the less intellectually blessed folk in our herd have come to believe animals are really like this, and so approach them for a cup of tea and a singsong. the conclusion of this is normally predictable and vicious.
whereas a vacuum cleaner is unlikely to rip your head off and eat you the way, say, a lion would if you went up to it and asked if it knew Simba, or fancied singing a merry and gay Sir Elton song, i remain steadfast in an unconvinced state about how wise it is to have people come to think of the vacuum cleaner in their home as a human. before you know it, if this is allowed to continue it will flourish, and we shall have misguided types doing things like try to take their Henry on holiday with them.
in respect of any flaws or downside to the Henry vacuum cleaner, just that one which blights all domestic vacuum cleaners within the EU, where the UK still is on paper for a short while. due to red tape and meddling, they opted to impose a limit on how powerful a vacuum cleaner could be. whereas before our vacuum cleaners had elegant, sophisticated and powerful engines, rather like the ones what them smart fighter jets in Top Gun had, we now have to have more economical environmental things. more paper aeroplane in comparative strength, really. perhaps when the UK is well and truly outside of the EU we will be able to have proper powered vacuum cleaners again, but for now this shall simply have to do.
right, well, there you have it. as nice as it is to now have a Henry as a consequence, if our domestic household appliances could now stop breaking then that would be great.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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