it is a truth universally (or commonly) accepted, look you see, that the world has pretty much gone to sh!t, or went f****d, ever since Bullseye was removed from early Sunday evening entertainment schedules. this was the unassuming pivot on which life was balanced, with the good casting a shadow over the bad. and not the reverse we now have.
attempts have, of course, been made to rectify this gross obscenity of an error. these efforts have been, to be kind, misguided, but in truth a complete desecration of that which is sacrosanct, with the results being insulting and making things worse.
thus far someone somewhere has made not one, not three, but two attempts to resurrect Bullseye. both missed the purpose and point of the show. for one, they employed someone who either appears to have a personality void as host, although they did keep Tony Green. the other is recent (for this point of 2020), and features Alan Carr. i have not watched it, but will quite safely assume that the single biggest problem, shortcoming or failure of this is Alan Carr.
quite curious, it is, that those who are the custodians of control over the Bullseye concept simply fail to understand the power, the point of attraction or the prestige of the show. absolutely nobody cared about the darts, the caravans, the speedboats or anything but being able to be in the presence of His Excellency, once and future pope Jim Bowen.
up to now everything about the foolish efforts to continue Bullseye have seemingly been based on a strange notion that absolutely anyone, no matter how lacking in suitability (or obvious talent), can be presented as a host and all will watch. not so. it was more that we, as legion of congregation, would have flocked to anything Jim Bowen presented. that it happened to be Bullseye was secondary.
should it be so that we should then allow Bullseye to fade from being, as in make no further efforts to resurrect and limit the experience only to watching repeats of the only (so far) proper version (featuring Jim Bowen) to exist? well, no. as mention, our reckless and silly decision to cease Bullseye broadcasts (featuring Jim Bowen) led directly to the sorry mess the world is in now. it is so that we need Bullseye back, and with a proper host. one worthy of following the work conducted by His Excellency Jim Bowen.
as impossible and unlikely as it seems, there is a worthy successor to His Excellency Jim Bowen. one that oozes comparisons of a different but spiritually similar way. yes, indeed as picture above next to Jim, i speak (of course) about Barry out of Eggheads.
for those of you who for some reason do not know this (and no one knows anything about anything until they learn of such), Barry is a pivotal member of the "Eggheads" team in the quiz show Eggheads, hosted by Jeremy Vine, or "that twat Vine" as some refer to him as, but i certainly do not due to the high level of respect Vine has for both Sir Rod and cliff based rail transportation systems.
ostensibly, the quiz show takes the form of knowledge based questions, with the 'Eggheads' taking on teams of ordinary folk who like to do pub quiz things and that. a very dubious suggestions is always made at the start of an episode of Eggheads, claiming that the Egghead team are "arguably the best and most formidable" quiz team going. i would suggest that the gang off of The Chase, if you will the team called 'The Chasers', would absolutely smash their faces in, and wipe the floor with what is left of them. but, anyway.
Barry is very much the star of the team. and when i say "star", i do mean Freddie Mercury, or Bono like status. he is the consummate professional, shown in the opening credits bit where he does not move at all, unlike his (lesser) contemporaries, so you cannot determine if you are looking at footage or a picture. when the lineup of the 'Egghead' team is revealed and it is obvious that Barry has taken the evening (or afternoon, depending when they film) off, viewing figures immediately drop by around 75%, depending on who is on the team.
the last (or latter) element is important here. people want to see Barry, or if you like the Baz, since having a three letter first name is beneficial in this context. he might not be Jim Bowen, for no one is, but that sidesteps the point. putting him in charge of Bullseye wouldn't be them "just shoving anyone cheap" in to host, which is where all previous efforts have miserably failed.
many might think, or have concerns, that Barry would simply not "be ready" to take the step from occasional guest on a quiz show where he forms 20% (granted, the best and most important 20%) of the team. it is not unfair to have such fears, but that is only because we recall just the greatness of Jim Bowen, rather than the tentative first steps.
it was not so that Jim Bowen was appointed (or rather anointed, as it turned out) host of Bullseye because of international stardom and admiration. at that stage we was of course excellent, but just quietly doing his thing with no adulation. things what he did included teaching, rudimentary sheet metal work, healing lepers and similar with his touch, and some lightweight comedy routines.
hosting Bullseye simply enabled Jim Bowen to spread and carry his good work to a much, much wider audience. and so it must be that someone else must be enabled to spread their message.
no one can replace Jim, and equally it is not the case that just anyone would do to follow in his steps and present Bullseye, as has been conclusively proved. but Barry, or Baz, could bring to it his own special powers and magic, and heal the world.
an important factor to remember is that Jim Bowen did not always conjure his magic or perform his miracles all alone. he was, for the most part, wonderfully and so nobly assisted by the eloquent, reassuring, mathematically gifted and genial Tony Green. he too, would need replacing.
exactly what was it that Tony Green brought to it all, other than accurate scoring which was largely missing in that first series of Bullseye? a zen-like, hypnotic, soothing sense of relaxation, with phrases such as "take your time" delivered in a way that put contestants at one with the world, giving every assurance that all was well and that they could draw confidence from the sermon administered by Jim Bowen. the importance of this can neither be under or over stated, just stated.
fortune smiles somewhat here. it just so happens that Barry out of Eggheads, or Baz as we may very well start to call him, has his own variation of Tony Green. of course, just like Jim Bowen, there can be no direct, nor like for like, replacement for him, but there is someone that will deliver the same end result, albeit with different qualities.
yes, that is indeed Chris, or Big Chris as he would get called on Bullseye, who is also on 'Team Eggheads' in the quiz show Eggheads. the rapport, or if you like chemistry, between Baz and Big Chris whenever they appear together is a most splendid dynamic. if you already have a winning, fruitful chemistry between the two hosts of any show, you have virtually reached success in your quest to deliver television perfection.
as a prominent member of the 'Eggheads' team, we can surely take as a given that the complex mathematical requirements of the Tony Green role shall be a breeze for Big Chris. the other, more reassuring side of the part will be a bit different. whilst by no means abrasive, it all the same is so that Big Chris is a rather more direct, abrupt and confidently confrontational character when compared to Tony Green. oh, undoubtedly he would assure contestants on Bullseye, the pilgrims who are the lifeblood of the show, that all is well. it is just that he would be doing it more in a style akin to that of a club bouncer or doorman.
it is the personality (and the uniqueness of it) of Barry (Baz) that makes him an ideal custodian for the future secure with Bullseye. let's not dwell on how he is not Jim, but rather that which he would bring to the role. he is energetic, passionate, flamboyant, knowledgeable, erudite and enthusiastic. to slightly go against the grain of my earlier comment, perhaps the best way to describe Barry is that whereas of Jim Bowen it was true that men wished to be him and women wanted to be with him, for Barry it is that there are some women who wish to be with him and men who would very much like to be with the women that wish to be with Barry.
you (or at least i) can totes imagine the Barry lifestyle, and very much wish to buy into it. one can easily picture the type of party, or rather soiree, he would host. guests would be treated to a dazzling range of chunks of cheese on sticks, with some also including olives, whilst others are served "naked" for the benefit of vegetarians. communal bowls of sangria would be placed about his palatial home. musically, visitors would hear the very best of all music recorded by people who are called Barry, be it Manilow, White or Gibb, all whilst he showed off, spontaneously, his flamenco and rumba dancing skills.
not that such events would be a complete dedication to being a 70s throwback. for the most part, the defining points of parties in the seventies (with very little else to do) were so-called "wife swapping" events and tupperware sales, with one invariably acting as a sort of cover for the other. despite the fact that one can't really imagine or picture Barry being a staunch advocate of either, it is equally true that he would have no immediate objection. no doubt, so as to accommodate guests of a mind to do so, Barry at this parties would casually place a bowl for people so inclined to to put there car keys in, and also could probably rustle up a few rudimentary containers for people to purchase.
should there be such a thing as an "elephant in the room" with this, then it is very much that one exceptionally rare quality what Jim had. this is, of course, the fact that it seemed perfectly natural, as in there was never any reason to question or doubt why it was so, for Jim to just happen to have some two to three thousand pounds in cash in his pocked, with which he rewarded contestants.
there are not, to be frank, all that many people on the planet who could walk around with that kind of cash without arousing degrees of suspicion. Jim could do so, because he was infallible as we are all aware and accept. whilst true - and this is no shortcoming or criticism - that Barry does not quite have the same element of infallibility, his personality is of such fine standing that absolutely no one would assume he had a few grand in his pocket for any untoward or questionable reason.
one harsh, and possibly inconvenient truth is that i have (i accept) invested a great deal of time, effort, energy and thought into stating the obvious, knowing that it will be largely ignored. them what own the Bullseye, the ruling elite, really do believe they understand what it is they have. for them it is just a show all about throwing arrows at a board, feeding the proletariat a false dream of how the potential to own a speedboat or caravan will elevate them to the bourgeois, but instead serving as an instrument of oppression. a reality is that we tuned in for our spiritual well being, to be enlightened and informed.
as a proponent, or if you like ambassador, for ideals of universal love and harmony, Jim Bowen administered sermons of well-being through the conduit (or forum) of Bullseye. if them what possessed the show had any sort of sense, they would see that a comparable, much needed experience could be delivered by anointing (or appointing) Barry (Baz) out of Eggheads as the full worthy successor.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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