all of us, i would think or be bold enough to presume, had some ideas of things to be taken as a given when we got older. older, yes, look you see, and perhaps even maybe a semblance of grown up, or at the least to have responsibilities.
what of such assumptions, aspirations and ideas did i hold? quite difficult to speak of. perhaps this was the innocence or ignorance of the folly of youth, but i really did take it as a given that i would as a minimum be happy or content, for there was never a reason to suspect an alternate. with that so obviously failed, maybe the rest does not matter.
if we, to be sure, bundle "being a useful / contributing / appreciated / wanted member of society" in with the above, it enables us to move one. there is certainly always one constant that i thought would be true, but has turned out not to be. for some reason i believed that i would never, ever be all precious about my hair.
quite early on, i think, i was resigned to the fact that i would never ever be able to have a decent haircut. my features did not lend themselves to such, so for me there was to be no boss style as sported by the likes of Adam Ant, virtually all of Frankie Goes To Hollywood, aspects of Duran Duran, Bryan Ferry or even David Bowie. but i was fine with this. when, in the late 80s, Jason Donovan done that early morning kids TV interview, it really did shape and influence the rest of my life. for some reason, perhaps it was just that moment, when i heard him say that he washed his hair with shampoo what had lemon in it, something clicked in me. i thought if i pledged, in a solemn way to always do the same, then everything else could or would fall into place, and that nothing could bring me too down, for i always had solace in the fact that i was washing my hair (when possible, lemon infused shampoo is not always easy to find) the way what Jason Donovan did.
recent selfies have challenged this. whereas i am quite ok with the fact that i am going grey, what seems to irk me is the receding hairline. strange, for when i look in the mirror it doesn't seem that it is receding, but as the titles say, selfies do not like. as in, the vast majority of people in this world who see me only do so through whatever selfies i post and share here, and in them - no matter how i angle the camera - i clearly have what can only be described as a receding hairline.
my biggest issue is that i disgrace myself in the eyes of Denis Leary, a man i respect, admire, appreciate and worship. in the early 90s he pointed out that Bruce Willis had a receding hairline. the manner in which Denis Leary said this left no doubt that Denis Leary considered this to be a very, very bad thing. and so now i am worried that i cannot be a fan, or admirer, of Denis Leary any more, because i have a feature what he did not like at all when the otherwise generally mostly popular Bruce Willis had. if so, and i am legally forced to give up things like my No Cure For Cancer CD, i will be rather upset.
we can never truly fully understand whatever that drive is that makes us live, that primordial instinct to carry on, to continue, to survive. it's so far rooted in our subconscious that we cannot touch it. moments, from time to time, get near it, yet some distance away. that's why i like to shout and scream along to Beautiful Day off of U2, but only a specific part. yes, for the most part the song is just Bono shouting new words over The Sun Always Shines On TV, with the rest of the band (with affection, for i am a staunch U2 fan) acting as some sort of (i am being generous here) second rate a-Ha tribute act. but when it comes to the line "i know i'm not a helpless case", well, it just touches something in me. no, no idea what, or why, it does though.
but, anyway, you are probably just here on the promise of yet more, or if you like further, insights into what i have been bothering my hair with of late. to do so would indeed be to pull us all back from the brink of a downer that this post has inexplicably felt like, would it not? so, to be sure, let us do it.
the last two or three years has, for some reason, seen me take more interest in how my hair appears than i had done for decades. perhaps a sign that i was considering myself in a kinder light, but then again one cannot mistake the signs that maybe my receding hairline is punishment for such vanity. and a fitting punishment too.
anyway, in keeping with the "brush top", or spiky, or slick hairstyle that makes me go "yeah, i actually don't look too bad at all", i invest in different types of gel and that. in this instance, as you can see in pictures thus far, the latest thing to take my fancy for doing this is some Toni & Guy "texturising glue androgynous hold".
for those what don't know, Toni & Guy are the top name in London barbers, and have been for decades. it was them what probably done all the top pop stars hair back in the 60s, but who i cannot name for i do not know for certain that they did. but i like to think of it from time to time.
it is with this in mind that i of course bought the product. also, it was marked down to 50p a tube in Poundland, so i bought two of them.
with most, or the majority, of shampoo manufacturers being right pr!cks and no longer putting lemon in their products, i need to explore options. one i have found is this mandarin and papaya infused shampoo, also off of Poundland, but costing £1 a bottle so i only bought the one.
something i only became aware of recently was that blackbirds are prolific fighters, or maybe survivors. a pleasure i extract from the world is feeding birds, or placing food out in the garden for whatever birds choose to come and feast. recently, a blackbird with a flustered, somewhat bleeding leg landed and ate. i am unsure if it escaped the clutches of a cat, or engaged in combat with a fellow bird. in either instance, well done. also, there is a bird - and i am unsure if it is a blackbird or the one i discussed just now or another species - which regularly comes by and has a whistle what is unmistakably the opening of Day Tripper, that song off of The Beatles. sometimes i do wonder, worry perhaps, of what would become of such moments if i failed to record them here.
does mandarin or papaya have citrus inside, or are they recognised as citrus? in truth i have no idea. the limitations on shampoo with lemon in them means that from time to time i have got ones what have lime in, figuring Jason Donovan would let it slide if he ever found out.
yes, perhaps i do spend too much time, which is to say any, concerned about how Jason Donovan and Denis Leary might react should they stumble upon me and my world and examine what goes on with my hair. but, in this world, clutch and cling to what you can, and know that most of it shall escape your grasp anyhow.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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