indeed, yes, quite. this post is one of them what is all about the fags, or if you like cigarettes, look you see. going on my "most recently read" section (if you are looking at the web version of this blog, not the mobile one), they tend to be rather popular. but i do appreciate that some of you, to be sure, are not so keen on the subject. so, bye if that's you.
cigarettes - smoking - is/are/whichever is correct a needlessly difficult and expensive habit or if you like hobby to engage in here in England. successive governments - except weirdly the mostly despised George Osborne - have seen it as a means to raise tax money. this they have always claimed is to "discourage smokers" and to fund the NHS, who apparently smokers place significant strain on.
interesting. mostly what has happened is that an entirely illegal market for the fags has opened up as a result. also, less people than ever before in the UK are smokers, yet the NHS costs more and more. quite some issues come along when you keep people alive for longer and longer, and strange how they have not said "no, actually, we didn't really mean that the cost of the NHS was all the fault of people smoking". they won't, of course.
regular readers will be quite aware that i have a most splendid patron, or perhaps benefactor is the right word, in the form of Spiros. he is always most happy to, when off on his travels, pick me up some perfectly legal fags, cheap, in countries he goes to what have sensible pricing on them.
alas, he is not always on his travels, and by no means do i place sole responsibility on him for my continued smoking. so, from time to time, my hobby, my habit or indeed my addiction necessitates that i go along to the shops and purchase cigarettes here in England, in ugly packaging that serves no purpose, and at eye watering prices.
recently, however, i have found a way to make the legal purchase of cigarettes in England slightly cheaper. this is via the magic of the well known business model, buying in bulk. it took me quite by surprise to find that the principle or principal (delete as applicable) of "buy bulk and save" would apply to something as heavily regulated and taxed as the fags, but there we have it.
which makes a rather interesting point. should the government be so keen to make us all stop, or quit, or cut down considerably, then why exactly has their approach been one which sees people only being able to make smoking somewhat partially affordable only by buying more cigarettes than they normally would?
no, dear reader, i do not purchase "illegal" cigarettes here in England, be they ones imported via a swift diversion past customs or illicit bootlegs. but yes, i most certainly would do so if only the opportunity was presented. my social life is not extensive or lavish, and alas thus far none of my contemporaries have been able to point me in the correct direction.
my research suggests, however, that the infamous "booze cruise" and "tobacco run" things still go on. for some reason they go to Belgium rather than France these days, but then again one really can't fault the thinking behind if you had to go to one of them, then the one what is not France sounds best, no matter where exactly that is.
i am considering this. let me do some basic maths on the subject, to see if it is viable....
UK Marlboro price - £10.90 a packet / £109.00 for 200 / 10 packets
cost of 3200 Marlboro in UK - £1,744.00
a"tobacco run" trip to Belgium - £100 (allowing for expenses, etc)
cost of 200 Marlboro in Belgium fag warehouse - £60 (approx)
cost of 3200 Marlboro in Belgium - £960
the Belgian leg is all estimates, and excludes things like leave off of work, etc, but still - one could in theory shave off about £500 from the cost of smoking the finest fags in the world by visiting Belgium.
why have i based my calculations on 3200 Marlboro? because of the UK's rather interesting, as in obscene, understanding of the EU. or rather the UK government and tax man's understanding. theoretically, in terms of EU law, i should be able to bring one to one million fags in from mainland Europe with no questions asked. HRMC see it not the same way, and have arbitrarily slammed 3200 as the "maximum" number of fags one person could have for "personal use".
no, at this stage i have not mapped my path to Belgium. for now, then, it turned out that buying 5 packets of the cheapest fags on the go - salty sea dog favourites JPS Players Red - as a specific bundle rather than 5 separate packets (although they are in five separate packs) is cheaper.
apologies for the duplicate receipt - for some reason the lady what served me in Sainsbury's decided that i probably would not want the receipt and just threw it away before even asking me.
well, anyway, here's the maths on getting - legally - the cheapest fags in the UK as cheap as possible.
pack of JPS Players Red - £7.65
cost of 5 packets bought separate - £38.25
pack of 5 x 20 JPS Players Red - £37.70
cost of each pack in the above - £7.54
that's 11p per packet saved, or if you will 55p across the cost of five packets. and it is not like they are not going to be smoked, dear reader, should you have any questions or queries about why one would need so many cigarettes all at once.
rather than going to Belgium - not that i have any issue or quarrel with the place, except the universal issue all face with just how damned close it is to France - another idea might be to invite Belgium to invade and colonise a part of the UK quite close to where i am. there are many places they are welcome to have as far as i am concerned, and please note that i didn't just specify, say, Sunderland or Spennymooor.
once they have set up in such an area, they could open up one of these most splendid sounding fag warehouses, and i may go there to purchase as many as i like (apparently below 3201) without having to cross any body of water of consequence.
yes, well, there we go for now. one would assume that the excessive warnings across this "mega" pack of fags has told you that smoking is very silly, no matter what i do. but, to be clear, it is.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment