well, yes. as is appropriate when i "go off on one" on this particular subject, a congratulatory confirmation, look you see. indeed you are all right, who shake their heads or tut so - smoking is, no matter what the exact nature or science or study of it, not good for you. how bad it actually is, and, to be sure, what harm it causes others (i am thinking of the precious people who somehow survive yet have to cough when they see someone smoking on the other side of the street, at the end of the same road) is debatable. but no, not good for you.
anyway, with that disclaimer or sorts in place, let me crack on.
of late, it has to be said, i have not had all that much of stuff to celebrate. no. far be it from me to bore you with the dreary details, but there has been some tough times. the darkness fades with the creeping of the lights, however, and whilst perhaps not all free and clear to enjoy days of wine and roses it is decidedly that Ribena and carnations (or similar) are the order of the day.
with such i felt a treat was due. indeed, others wholeheartedly suggested such; as point of fact on more than one instance insisted. and so i did, to be sure. i treated myself. what with? that which my heart and my mind, despite knowing better, crave the most. yes, Marlboro Red.
yes, indeed, your attention and your intentions are all formally drawn to the warning about damage to your lungs on the packet. i know you can all see that, but for reasons of clarity, there you go.
now. how does one explain the difference between Marlboro Red and all (or most) other cigarettes to a non-smoker, exactly? this i feel is important to understand why it is a treat. think triple distilled, aged whiskey vs cheap and nasty. think a premium lager vs supermarket brand lager. think Yorkshire Tea, or Fortnum & Mason tea, vs any other brand of tea. think Parker, or Mont Blanc, pen vs a pack of 50 pens for £1 off of Poundland. i suppose, even, think 2 or 3 ply toilet paper vs 1 ply wax or sand paper like toilet rolls.
for me, then, Marlboro Red offers the personification of a perfect smoking experience. they're smooth, lovely and a pleasure to smoke. quite different from the other (lesser, if we are honest) cheaper brands which i must settle for, which are coarse and crude but ultimately get the job of satisfying a craving, and addiction and i dare say dependency sorted out.
the barrier to smoking Marlboro Red all the time? cost. i am fortunate as friends, notably Spiros and indeed the Child of the Condiment Phoenix from time to time bring me Marlboro from lands where they do not cost quite so much. here, in this England, the price is prohibitively high. well, for my budget at the least.
i have every confidence that yes, you are reading the above correctly and all proper. a packet of Marlboro Red here in England (and presumably Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland) does indeed cost £10.98. that's considerably north of £10, or if you like just 2p south of £11. when you consider the average smoker, or in this instance simply just me, would get through the business end of a packet a day, you will in your mind note that the cost is formidable. so yes, that is why they are exclusively a treat for me.
the pack of Players Red pictured are the ones i have found, thus far, to be the cigarettes that are "not too bad" and the lowest cost ones available legally. sadly no, i am not a familiar of anyone who sells the dodgy, knocked off or illegally imported ones; though i am open to such a friendship. even then, these "cheap" ones come in, at best, at £7.65 a packet.
one of the more interesting aspects of the "project fear" campaign run by those who wanted the UK to remain in the EU was hammering on about how much money everyone would lose if we left. a rather better approach, perhaps, would have been for George Osborne to preach the benefits of staying from a financial aspect. had he, in his wisdom, elected to announce "if we vote to stay in the EU then we shall reduce the tax levels on fags so that they are as cheap here as they are in the rest of the EU", a rough guess would have been around at least 1,000,000 (one million) more votes for "remain". i am pretty sure i mentioned this at the time; had David "call me Dave" Cameron or George "call me [text removed on legal advice]" Osborne listened, then perhaps they would still have the jobs they wanted and not the ones they have had to settle for. it's not the first time i have been ignored and it shall not be the last.
yes, indeed, the one thing sadder than the prohibitive cost of Marlboro Red is what they have done to the appearance of them. sure, they taste the same, but still, come on. that beautiful, sleek, elegant and masterful work of design what was the Marlboro Red iconic package has been replaced by something quite generic. if we are honest about it, the colour of Marlboro Red packets - and all cigarettes which are legally for sale in the UK - is now that which you imagine Theresa May picks to paint her walls, such is her imagination.
flowers and trees all do basically the same thing, and yet nature allows them to be all colours. in human terms, for some reason bookies, betting adverts, alcohol and a whole load of other vices are free to brand as they will, using a wide range of colours. i don't get why cigarettes now have to look so bland. oh, well, with our general acceptance of bland and limitation in society, it shall not be long before all products are made uniform. Winston Smith, where are you when needed most.
society is, on the whole, fickle. and yet still it prevails that smoking is to blame for all wrong with it. oh, if only everyone stopped smoking, they cried, then things would be better. in particular the NHS. well, no. from 1976 to 2016 the UK population who smokes has fallen from around 50% to south of 16%. the most dramatic fall in this % has been the last ten years, when increased prices and smoking bans have taken effect. and yet, still, each year more and more money is required to keep the NHS going. it's not just smokers who cost all the cash, then. an inconvenient truth that few with political aspirations will say is the obvious - this drive for healthier lives in which we live longer means a bigger, older population who need more and more health care. go figure.
how fickle? it was only 2 or 3 years ago - perhaps more recent - where everyone was up in arms over the idea of their phone messages, emails, texts, calls, etc all being somehow "hacked", monitored or listened to. lots kicked off about the invasion of privacy, etc. and now, all of a sudden, everyone is rushing to get these things off of Amazon, Google, Apple and Microsoft in your home. the ones that sit and listen to you all the time, 24/7, recording the data who knows where.
and of course let us not forget casual double standards. how we cry and demand gender equality, whether gender by birth or gender we chose to identify as, or have society conveniently identify for us. this equality is demanded right up to the point, of course, when a lady of her own choosing elects to pursue a career in which being a lady is part of it, then unknown forces say "no, you cannot choose that career".
but, alas, no. minds will not be changed on smoking. so long as it is portrayed as the great evil (and it most decidedly is not good), it is the thing which people can see as the worst thing in the world. having focus on one bad thing which must be eliminated stamps out worry on other things, you see, and makes it seem like something must be done.
from now on, then, i suppose i shall have to reserve the treat of a pack of Marlboro Red for those special occasions. i am thinking Royal weddings, births and deaths, maybe. purchasing a pack on such occasions would be an understandable and excusable indulgence. also, as and when that wretched Theresa May is finally ousted from a job she cannot do and never actually wanted to do (she clearly hates people). on that day perhaps i will chainsmoke an entire pack in celebration.
oh, yes, for what it is worth, i thoroughly enjoyed the one packet i had. quite worth it.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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