in recent times it has come to be, look you see, that certain people have approached me. they have approached, to be sure, so as they may converse. well, if not converse. "Derek", they say, "why have you not done a post on shampoo or other such personal hygiene products for a while?".
my considered response to this, as you may quite well imagine, is "my name is not Derek". so far as i have been able to ascertain or understand, though, this is of little consequence, as the people do press their point, saying that i - or if you will this "Derek" - have or has not posted on shampoo or body wash for a while. the people, they argue, must have my (or those of Derek) insights prior to making purchases.
undoubtedly the wisest thing i can do at this stage is leave to one side the confusion surrounding my name. perhaps we shall return to this subject during the course of the post, or maybe not. if not, then it is likely to be due to my forgetting. let's have a look at what i have been using of late, then, in the hope that it may assist you - but not, i trust, influence - in selecting similar products.
yes, my dearly loved eucalyptus is back on the radar, so to speak, when it comes to body wash. this is something called "original source extreme energising", and wisely waters down the eucalyptus with some black pepper. not, i hasten to add, chunks of black pepper, but rather some apparent liquefied variant thereof. and, one would guess, "original source" black pepper, too.
one cannot, of course, purchase pure eucalyptus personal hygiene, grooming or health products. to make such available in this day and age is a risk no one shall take. the last time someone was permitted to use body wash and shampoo which was 100% eucalyptus it was David Lee Roth, probably. if so, then that is what made him the greatest, most prolific and bestest ever sexualist in the world. as there can be only one of them, no one else was allowed to bathe in the same way as what he might have done.
the inclusion of the car battery logo is a bit of a cheeky nod to the most decidedly Australian origins of eucalyptus. car batteries are, to be sure, a big deal in Australia. there was a documentary about penguins, one i think which was for some reason called Happy Feet, which showed one penguin having a "thing" for gathering and harbouring pebbles. that penguin and the pebbles is your everyday Australian with car batteries. they love the things, man, and stockpile them.
should you wish to find favour with an Australian, or indeed if you are ever in a position where you have to win them over, then simply present them with a car battery. even better is if you could smuggle a container of them into their fine and proud nation. due to the economic damage caused by widespread and prolific car battery purchase (and, let us be honest, theft) there, the Australian authorities have brought in strict controls around them.
oh, is the eucalyptus and black pepper body wash any good? actually yes it is, it is indeed most splendid. the predominant, overwhelming and frankly only scent i could detect was of the eucalyptus. this is no bad thing, as it is a most lovely fragrance, but i cannot help but wonder what the pepper is for, except to sedate the sexual powers granted to a user of eucalyptus body wash. you certainly can't smell it; or at the least i could not.
maybe the collective of people out there simply think i should be called Derek? or, possibly, someone called Derek has set up his own jolly website and simply steals all of my content 100% so as to populate the site. it is not that i have a problem with the name Derek; far from it. to me it sounds most splendid and dignified. just, well, it isn't my name.
this shampoo has me baffled. no, i do not regret buying it - half a litre of shampoo with two fruits in it for £1 is money well spent all day long. except for the part where it says "normal to greasy hair". going on the wording, which might be inadvertently implying something, i am baffled as to why anyone with normal hair would wish to make it greasy. takes all sorts, i suppose.
anyway, i would like to think that i have normal hair. using this for a couple of weeks has not all of a sudden made my hair greasy. i then suspect it is the case that the makers of this - the same people what do the smart Imperial Leather colonialist soap if i recall right - are trying to say that you can use it to a relative level of success if you have normal or greasy hair. no, thank you, i am ok, i am not putting a whole load of grease in my hair to see what happens when i use this shampoo on it.
echoing the body wash somewhat, this shampoo appears to be dominated on the whole by the apple. whereas i have every confidence that the pear is in it, for it says so on the packaging, i have failed to detect it. also, there is no lemon. i have made the point about how lemon should be in shampoo at all times many times before, but to recap it is because Jason Donovan said so. but, anyway, this does indeed do a rather good job of washing my hair. any of the recent selfies posted here which show my hair give clarification to this claim, should it be required.
right, then. hopefully this has addressed the requests which have been put forward if not to me, then to Derek. usually, indeed invariably, it is the cost of a product which determines whether or not i purchase it, particularly when it comes to personal hygiene stuff. but, if for some reason any of the above has helped you out, well then so much the better.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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