cone

g'day


and so the world, in places, slowly, gently and in a rash or sometimes considered way, goes back to varying degrees of normality, look you see. i am sure that you, we, the people are quite tired by now of phrases such as "back to normal" or being invited to accept things as the "new normal". let me try to avoid such terminology here.

one of the things i have every confidence the majority of people are keen (if not eager) to see once more is that most splendid of sights of shopping trollies (trolleys) randomly discarded in environments one may consider unnatural. various scrap metal dealers in particular, i suspect, are very enthusiastic indeed about seeing this, but of course only to help rebuild and stimulate the economy with fair pricing for them and subsequent diligent, accurate tax returns.

whilst we are a little way off the return of the sight of a shopping trolley at a peculiar site, fear not. a glimpse from our future comes from a land where the invisible war on the plague has been won, or so reports say. look, and see what awaits ahead, rather than behind.

sure, if you wish to be pedantic (or accurate), no a traffic cone is not a shopping trolley, strictly speaking. but there are many similarities. both are, for example, distributed freely by various authorities (on a provincial and national level) with the (very) tacit implication being they are there for the taking by anyone who feels compelled to borrow or own one. them who manufacture and/or procure these cones know that they do so with funds from the public and so, just like supermarkets use consumer profits to invest in trolleys (trollies) it is accepted that it is fair, from time to time, for those who in a real sense paid for them to take custodianship. at least i think that is how it works, if any of you have any court experience of using that line and it worked i would be eager to hear from you.

few, if any, scrapyards accept traffic cones though. a most regrettable design flaw with traffic cones is that they are not made out of metal as such, but rather some sort of plasticesque type of plastic material. bit rubbery, in truth, which i think is for when motorists drive into them, as they are so prone to do.

please, don't get too excited, or carried away. whereas we here in the UK have more or less won the invisible war on the plague, victory is not secure. such is, though, in New Zealand, where the above picture is from. but not the one below.

we seem to still have some level (or form) of social distancing here in the UK, then. that, or the council or whoever are being cheap, and just placing the one cone down to mark off traffic. no doubt they will blame this on "austerity" or other such cuts. i do wish we could be as flamboyant and generous with traffic cones here, then everyone who wanted one could have one.

once you have obtained a traffic cone (or several), what can you do with it (or them)? this is an interesting question. a quick search on ebay suggests there is a fairly fluent market for selling them, although it might be a bit tricky to answer when questions are posed of the provenance of the cones. sadly, at this time scrapyards are not taking cones, as the arse has fallen out of the market. this is probably due to that lass off of Switzerland (or wherever) doing them temper tantrums about all things what are plastic.

should selling the cones not quite appeal to you, or fit in with your ambitions, well then there are a thousand other things you can do with them. give or take. unfortunately just about each and every one of the one thousand things involve placing a traffic cone on a statue, which is quite tricky to do at this present time.

yes, that is indeed Mum with an absolutely massive (or king of) traffic cones, over in New Zealand. a little known New Zealand tradition is for shops (and other such retail concerns) to hand out traffic cones as a thank you for your patronage. normally it is so that the bigger the cone they give you, the more valued a client you are.

regrettably no, UK retailers tend not to follow this course of discretion. it is still so that, predominantly, the shops here seem to think that they are doing you a favour by taking your money. such is how it has always been, and always will be, no doubt.

little wonder, then, that so many move from the UK to New Zealand, and no, not all of them are Scottish. never mind, let us look in wonder once more at the bountiful, plentiful and many traffic cones what they have in New Zealand.

oh, hang on, before i go. something of a disclaimer. it might not be the case that you can just help yourself to any traffic cones that the council (or similar) place on roads. you should ask any council worker by the traffic cones if it is OK for you to take a few. of course, if they have put the traffic cones up and there is nobody actually near them working, you can take it as a given that they have been abandoned.

many thanks, as ever, for reading. and be careful with the cones.


be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luxury

now then


welcome to the world, as the title suggests, of the luxurious. an existence far too dependent on the accumulation of wealth for me to ever trouble, or even visit if only for a brief while. no, this is the stuff that we, the people, can only look upon with want, awe and jealousy. a bit like that show what they used to do called Lifestyles Of The Rich & Famous, or any of the poor, second (and third) rate variations made of it since.

some products appear to be made with an exclusive demographic in mind. in this instance, i refer to items which are made needlessly (perhaps superfluously) and artificially expensive, just so that they may be sold to exceptionally wealthy people in order that they may effectively show off how rich they are. things like high value cars have at least some practical use, so rather think along the lines of quite flashy, so-called "designer" watches. they tell the time no better than a regular watch, but they do say to people how much money someone has. or is pretending to.

coming to this market, then, is a new form of chocolate. not only is it (probably) the most expensive type of chocolate to be on the market, it is also (maybe) one of the most expensive things ever to be made and sold, by anyone, at any stage of human history.

yes, of course. this new, high end, high powered, aimed (presumably) at the financial top 0.5% of our country's population chocolate product ("bar" sounds too common) is Darkmilk off of Cadbury. it is very much the new amiga rodox, or tog huler (or whatever) of the chocolate world, except it is indeed chocolate rather than a watch. buying this and showing it off is one of the ways in this brave new world that one may show of how rich they are.

as is invariably always so, it became clear that they intended this to be purchased and consumed only by the elite in the marketing (or branding) of the product. as you can see by clicking here, yes, they went to the top straight away. one really cannot do much more to state that their product is posh, or purely for the elite, than invite Jason Donovan to endorse it. getting Jase to say that your item for sale is what he is about is to have billionaires wallets open at your command.

for historical context, how, in this day and age, does having Jason Donovan endorse your product compare with previous (for that is what historical is) endorsements of luxury goods? quite well, but you shall no doubt wish to observe contextual examples. very well. this is the present day equivalent (2020) of that time Glass Eye endorsed some Japanese (or similar) whisky. it is Shatner giving his blessing to Commodore computers. also, that time Connery approved on some French bank.

exactly how expensive is this Darkmilk off of Cadbury? very. the PPG (which stands for price per gram, but i just used initials so as to save you some time. my assumption was that you would know what each of the letters, the two instances of a p and the one g, stood for, but happy to clarify if not) of this bar exceeds what i image (or assume) is the PPG for things like cocaine, coffee, gold, printer ink, heroin and even something insanely expensive like Royal Mail postage costs. which is a lot.

the cost and the exclusivity of it means that if you were to walk into the most posh shop in the world, Fortnum & Mason, or that tourist trap Harrods, you would not find it on the shelf. it may be so that they might carry stock of it, but it is only in the private showcase rooms of their premises, where only the elite are allowed. you have to be wealthy and on the exclusive list to be able to buy Darkmilk, or also you can, like i did, get a bar off of the shelf at Tesco.

what does such an expensive and exclusive chocolate taste like? i have absolutely no idea at all. no, really, dear reader, none whatsoever. the price and the exclusivity of it (plus the fact that i do not particularly like dark chocolate) meant that i felt uncomfortable trying it. instead i have made arrangements for someone else who might either be posh, or like dark chocolate, to have it.

another barrier to me trying this was, of course, previous experiences with dabbling with stuff what Jason Donovan had endorsed. regular readers of this blog will recall how, over the years, i have tried to use shampoo what has had lemon shoved in it on an exclusive basis, and all purely on the basis of Jason Donovan endorsing it, once, on a kids TV show in the late 80s or early 90s. whilst doing so gave me immense pleasure and distinct hair satisfaction, it did not turn me into Jase.

so, in conclusion, it is my considered (and learned) opinion that Darkmilk is exclusive, expensive and endorsed by Jason Donovan. on a practical level i shall concede that this might not be the most useful, insightful or even helpful review of something that i have ever done, but it is all the same the only one i am able to give you for this chocolate.

UPDATE TO CONCLUSION : it was so that, for the benefit of you, dear reader, i have arranged for and secured a review from the one they speak of as being from the condiment phoenix. worry not so much of the cost of arranging this, and be not confused, as the direct quotes come from someone what can write proper so the correct use of capital letters is (perfectly) in order. here you are -


You can bend it. You could never do this with the old 100g Dairy Milk. It doesn’t break. It has the consistency of fudge. 
 It doesn’t taste like Cadbury’s. I am confused as to who the target market is. People who like sweets but cannot bring themselves to eat Dairy Milk?!? 
It says ‘a rich cocoa taste’. Not with 40% cocoa and 86% vegetable fat, it’s not. It tastes more like white chocolate painted brown. 
It has been an interesting experience but if I want chocolate, I am unlikely to buy Dark Milk in the future.


to clarify just one point on the above, whereas the composer of the above could not have reasonably known this at the time (or wished to in advance), the target market is, as outlined above, those who would respond well to a Jase endorsement. please do not let (or allow) the validity of the review comments be affected by a deliberate unawareness of this, except that i mentioned it in a note with the bar. but, often it is so that my handwriting leaves one none the wiser.





be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

groove

howdy pop pickers


just another sort of impulse purchase thing, look you see, but one motivated more by "actually that will be quite class" rather than accumulating shiny objects to feel good, if only for moments.

recently it was so that i was in Poundland, doing some "essential shopping", of a nature which was quite similar to everyone else in there at the time. it is with good, or mis, fortune that "essential" is not a phrase the government cared to clarify when imposing all this "lockdown" business on we, the people, as the invisible war against the new plague was waged.

during this most essential of essential shopping trips, i had very good (indeed essential) reason to look at the selection of CDs what Poundland had for sale. well, if they have not cleared them from the shelf then it must be that they are both essential and that we are allowed to buy them. well, were, i suppose. it does seem all and sundry are now quite bored of it all, and are just going about doing whatever it is we jolly well wish.

the decision to purchase the above after spotting it on the shelf after seeing it was made in considerably faster time than it has just taken you to read this. and that does indeed allow for any potential "speed readers" out there. if you are one of them, just what is the rush, by the way?

what is it? as the cover (and disc below) states, Tunes From The Toons. or rather The Best Of The Tunes From The Toons, so as to save any unnecessary pedantic complaints that not all songs from such a source are concluded. but, that said, to be more specific, this disc features a selection of tracks curated from the finer moments of the Hanna-Barbera stable of cartoons, or if you like "toons". although i am not quite certain that the main one which drew me in was actually a cartoon.

in terms of value for money, one really could not go wrong here. there are 48 tracks on the disc, so with a price for it requested of £1, you are in effect paying (approx) 2.08p per song. it may not seem like a lot, but them twats what do streaming would need to have people stream a song over one million times before they earned that money for the tune. probably.

of the 48 songs, it is the 48th which secure procurement. that would be what they call, on the track listing, the Tra La La Song, but what i know as "the song out of Banana Splits". an absolutely f*****g mental concept, show and song, from what i remember of it. my memory of it all was it being four people (a mix of dudes and ladies, maybe), very clearly ripped to the tits on drugs, resplendent in costumes patently designed (and created) by people who had minds totally mashed on drugs. google away.

yes, it very much is worth your time seeking out this particular song. a masterpiece of trippy hippy feel good psychedelia, in truth. whilst it is possible and indeed probable that the song would sound even more better if you were to listen to it whilst absolutely trollied on some form of mind bending substance, i of course cannot responsibly suggest such experimentation.

from the very same plain of altered states awareness in vibes comes another tune on the disc, the so-called "main title" from Hair Bear Bunch. often there is a school of thought which prevails that states the height of American psychedelic recordings are to be found in Shatner's The Transformed Man. aspects of this disc say that Shatner was simply the prominent tip of one colossal iceberg, man.

variety is indeed key to this selection of tunes, though. a rather unexpectedly sombre (if my understanding of the word is correct) moment comes in around track ten, which is the "underscore" for The Flintstones. the complexities of the score for this piece of music are somewhat challenging to the listener, compelling them to question whether they really grasped the concept of the show.

many will, of course, always argue that American television shows generally lacked the nuances and perfections in theme tunes which British shows thrived on. no American composer, for instance, really ever came close to holding a candle to Ronnie Hazelhurst, or even Geoff Love. but often it is in appreciation of limitations that one strives to their greatest success, and that can certainly be said of some (not quite all) of the music here.

the only real issue i have with this disc is the quality of it, be it the poor or simply lack of proper mastering. whilst a lot of music getting issued on CD benefits from some intense production work, getting it "digitally remastered" so it sounds perfect, most of the songs here (in particular the theme off of Hong Kong Phooey) sound like they have been taped off of the tele, with someone holding a microphone close to the speaker.

by no means is this CD set for everyone, but it is most decidedly so that all who buy it will very much enjoy what they hear. except for the parts that they do not like.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bag it up

hallo wie geht es dir


the introduction above may very well make sense as we go, look you see. or maybe it shall not. it is entirely possible that you will read no more, not even this part, and thus not give the matter a single calorie of your time in thought.

often, if not always, spontaneous nostalgia can strike one with an element of surprise. well, yes. i mean, by my understanding of the word (term, or phrase) "spontaneous", the implication is unplanned or not scheduled. that would commonly fit in with how just about anyone would define the word surprise, i suppose. but, also, you may not.

whilst out shopping recently (prior to writing this, as opposed to some point in the future), it was so that a requirement was set that i needed to purchase further coffee. this was coffee of both recognised forms, which of course is "instant" and "filter". as i did so, i encountered that third format (or forth, as now that i think, yes, coffee beans), the "coffee bags".

for those of you unaware of, or oblivious to, what this is, well, pretty much what it says on the box. it takes the experience of making tea (with a tea bag) and combines an element of coffee to it. which is to say that "coffee bags" are basically "tea bags", but with the expressed reason of making a cup of coffee this way rather than tea.

yes, of course the immediate attraction was that they were "on special", with the fee (in coins of money) being requested indicated as £2.50 for a box of 10 individually sealed bags. that works out at 25p per cup, which sounds attractive, but is probably actually more of a cost per cup than one would extract from a bag of filter coffee, or a jar of instant. how many cups does one get from either of the alternates? no idea, but i suspect more than ten, so even allowing for the the extra cost of those, you get a higher return of cups. most likely.

is it so that this shall be a kind of review of these coffee bags, then? yes, pretty much. an important question to ask is do you get value for money off of them, or more "bang for your buck". there is every chance i shall give an elaborate answer to this, but for anyone in a rush, well yes, as it happens, these bag things make a really good cup of coffee, so they do, to be sure.

people who are sorely and obviously in need of a better hobby but for now recall things which have appeared here before will know that yes, what i used for this was indeed the rather smart Lenin mug what Spiros got me off one of his many adventures. one of his adventures which was not set in a public bathroom for members of the gentry, hopefully, but i did not ask and also did thoroughly wash it before use.

quite an interesting question to ask is that of who, exactly, thought to make these coffee bag things, and to what end. it is not a product which immediately suggests that it addresses any particular want, need or gap in the world. who is it, i wonder, that felt there was a demand for a form of coffee which takes longer to make that instant, but then also a shorter amount of time required for filter coffee to do its thing? this is what they have delivered to the world.

does the amount of time one spends making a coffee have any bearing on me? not really. well, not entirely true. other than tasting horrendous (it really is a case of image or fashion trumping content), generally i avoid "Starbucks" because they spends so long f*****g around making a basic coffee. should for some reason you have an interest in my morning rituals, well, besides cigarettes, it would feature making an instant coffee to enjoy (and appreciate) whilst i wait for the filter machine to do its thing.

as there's every chance of someone wishing to see all aspects of these "coffee bag" things, well, that image above is indeed a close up, some detail look at the actual item itself. yes, just like you, when i saw these i thought "that pattern is a pretty good, if rudimentary, tribute to the original artwork for One Love by The Stone Roses". no idea if that is why they styled it so, but here it is.

have i ever encountered coffee bags before? yes, hence the "nostalgia" variation mentioned as this all commenced, and of course you would be forgiven for forgetting that aspect. somewhere north (but not south) of 25 years ago (counting back from 2020), it was so that i would often spend time in the presence of a good friend, one of German provenance. we would converse, enjoying cigarettes and coffee, prepared by his mother, made from coffee bags not too different from the ones pictured here. as i could recall that the coffee was absolutely as good as the company (and indeed the cigarettes), well, that's how the nostalgia thing influenced (or directed) the purchase.

is it so that there is a "tea alternate" to this coffee bag concept? quite so, yes, kind of. someone clearly decided that if coffee was going to tread into the world of bags, then tea was jolly well going to march into the territory marked instant, or granules.

no, i have absolutely not ever (knowingly) drunk tea made off of granules. it is possible that at some stage someone tricked or misled me into doing so, be it on a plane, ferry or train, but to my knowledge no. the whole concept of it sounds like an obscene profanity. also, it seems to be just PG Tips what make it, and i have no interest in buying their products unless they bring back the smart adverts where they made monkeys dress in human clothes (in particular bowler hats) and drink the stuff.

whilst i appreciate that this is not in an sequential order (in fact it is a kind of non-linear one), here you go. a picture of the bag (or sachet) which has the coffee bag in, housed in the cardboard box. each such bag seems more or less the same, and is resplendent with instructions as to how one may brew the coffee (or make it) in accordance with the way that them what make it believe is the most appropriate way to do this.

each of us, i would speculate, has an awareness (or recognition) of a drive to be not so wasteful in the world, to cut down with stuff like packaging that is considered to be excessive, if not downright superfluous. i am not at all certain that the makers of this coffee bag business can be accused of such, despite the many layers of packaging giving the face value suggestion of precisely that. from what i can tell, or as far as i can see - and i am no Greta - every effort has been made to make packaging what is necessary to preserve the integrity of the product and yet is entirely possible to recycle, or biodegrade, or whatever.

so, this coffee tastes good, does it? very much so. yes, it does. this coffee has a strong, full bodied flow to it, it does. abrupt without being forceful, strong without being confrontational. just lovely, really. it is a coffee that i would quite enjoy having on a fairly frequent basis, but alas i could never justify the cost involved with having this every day, or near enough.

if it transpires that it is so for this coffee to hold steady at a price (or cost) of £2.50 per box of ten bags, then i might pursue further purchases of it. doing so would be with a view to having it every now and then, when i fancied a treat, or to hold in reserve, on the off chance that anyone ever visited me, and i wished for them to know my appreciation of such an event by presenting them with a really lovely cup of coffee.

ultimately, i suspect, in terms of money vs time, you may well have been better off just buying a box of these so-called coffee bags and experimenting with them than you would have investing the time taken to read my considerations. but, you have done so now, and thank you very much for that. bonus if it has been of any use, or interest.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the friends of mr cairo

hey y'all


please do forgive (and excuse if required) me should the above greeting not quite be correct in terms of proper American colloquialisms. from what i can recall this is a fairly traditional form of pleasant greeting what they use there, look you see, so i have gone with it. indeed, yes, i am aware of certain other ways in which our friends in America greet each other, as depicted in some motion pictures, but i am uncomfortable, even contextually, using language which we here in England would generally consider uncouth.

random acts of kindness are, on the whole, simply wonderful, beautiful, question and blemish free experiences. to benefit from just one within a (conventional) lifetime is to be treasured, for it means that someone out there, somewhere, values and appreciates you. when one generally finds themselves feeling a seemingly perpetually increasing sense of isolation, such a gesture can come to mean the whole world of difference.

such happened to me, of late, then. well, if it had not then there would be little (if anything) to write here. i would write that this was entirely unexpected, but i suppose that goes without saying, so my apologies to those of you who have read this sentence that essentially had no reason to be written.

yes, that is the wonderful gift what i got as a random act of kindness presented in Commodore 64 mode, or at least an aspect. surely, further images shall appear below in non Commodore 64 mode, for the benefit of those of you who for some reason prefer what one might call, or otherwise consider, more regular types of images.

it was a little while ago that i got to meet a very good friend indeed. this, yes, of course, was in the past, rather than the future, for that is how "a little while ago" generally works, unless you are Merlin, who it is believed lives via travelling backwards in time as we understand it. but that distracts. as you may well expect of me, since we happened to meet in that there London (innit) place, i of course introduced my friend to the very finest of finest things to ever come into being, Fortnum & Mason. this decision, or course taken, dramatically changed the life of my chum, and for the good, for no matter how good she believed life was, it was only now, after experiencing Fortnum & Mason, did she come to be touched with the knowledge that it can all be even more better.

my friend had, quite recently (as opposed to later), made an order from Fortnum & Mason, so that she could continue to enjoy and appreciate their exquisite fine ways whilst in America. she commented with a twinge of regret that she felt it impractical to order one of their most splendid chalices, or drinking vessels, or if you like cups or mugs. with regret, and with a most heavy heart, i felt duty bound to inform my friend that fortune smiled upon her when no acquisition of this nature was made, for i had done so (details here) and the item, alas, broke after just a few examples of rudimentary use.

certain pangs of pain were felt by my friend upon hearing this (most dreadful) of news. it distressed her to learn of such profane torment, as Dory (such is as my friend is known) knows full well and worthy of my love of Fortnum & Mason. and so, with a secretive degree of assistance from an anonymous source, which would be my (considerably) better half, Dory elected to surprise me with not one, not three, but two most splendid and lovely replacement mugs, as well as a most fascinating and insightful book.

the pattern is based on a well known one what used to appear on plates, in the 70s. i am aware of this because i have rather vague yet specific memories of such. either Gran or Mum had the plate with the pattern on. my memories are of asking (more than once) to be told the story the plate held within the design, and i was treated to the tale. sadly, alas, i cannot recall the tale itself, but all too well recall a sense of wonder and enjoyment of it.

no matter, for the artist involved here has taken the basic concept and created their own tale. before anyone cries (or, to use the American as seems appropriate "call out") theft, remember that, when you break it down, there are only some 34 or 36 basic story lines any tale can be based on. i don't recall them as such, but i did have a list of them (with a brief synopsis) somewhere.

as you may well be able to work out, with some 90% (or very close to) of the pattern visible, and as the nice card what came with the mugs states, the theme here is "things could be worse". no matter how much of a hard day, the card states, this mug shall comfort you, assuring you that it is not as bad as it could be. the card highlights elements such as being chased off of a zombie poodle, or plagued by pterodactyls, but for me i think the scariest (or worse than how bad it is) might be the big massive frog which you can see on the mug in a picture a bit further down. or toad, since i am not sure our friends in America do frogs as much as they do toads. for some reason i can kind of remember a frog or two in the film Magnolia, but i am not sure if they were real for America.

ostensibly, i believe, the intention for this mighty fine chalice (or set thereof) was to drink tea from it (them), specifically Fortnum & Mason tea, which is the finest of the fine (except, of course, Yorkshire tea. because Yorkshire). however, as a gesture towards the nation from where it was sent (not originated as such, for the bottom of the mug suggests that it travelled from Poland to American and then now here), i thought it would be a good idea to have a coffee in one first. posh coffee, of course, in the form of a "coffee bag" coffee, something that will be elaborated on in either a post that has been or one to come.

blimey. wow. they do not f*** about, these Americans. on instinct i made a full cup of coffee with one of these mugs. the size of it did look pretty big, but it turned out even bigger. it was to be a cup of coffee that would cause me to re-evaluate various aspects of life and knowledge what i had taken for granted. one example would be that i always wondered why it was, in films and tv shows, Americans always appeared wide eyed and with their hair standing up. if this is a "regular" coffee size, now i know. also, i had taken for granted than many of the great albums recorded in the 70s (and yes, specifcially Rumours off of Fleetwood Mac) were achieved by "size of Wales" piles of cocaine being available, in the studio, daily. maybe it was as innocent as giving each of the band a mug the size of this each day. we English are simply not used to this breathtaking type of assault on our adrenaline (or whatever), so the 60% of the band who are not American would have been totally trashed.

generosity continued in the package with a most splendid, slender volume of reading material, yes, indeed, a book. for those who are (for some reason) unable to ascertain the complete title of this from the Commodore 64 mode picture above, it is Stay Home, The Ugly Truth About Space Travel, An Illustrated Guide To Dismal Reality. appreciating that the title is somewhat vague and ambivalent, i can tell you that the book concerns reasons why going off into space is not quite so smart looking as it is made to be in stuff like Darth Vader, Vulcans Ahoy! or even Buck Rogers. but more on that later. or, below.

some slight reminiscing, then, or recollections. when growing up, and mostly here i mean the 80s, i recall how here, in England, we (or at least my contemporary crowd) all thought America looked absolutely amazing. most did, though, for of course my social group included some of them commie types what thought Russia was the business. this was all in the days of filters existing, with aspects and parts of American society and culture very carefully curated to make the rest of the world jealous. and this was indeed what was caused.

for a whole philosophical section (you are welcome to skip this), i suppose standing here in England looking out at America, or the USA, what we saw was the opposite. very much a grass is greener opposite. whereas everything about English life was small and putting limitations and restrictions on everything, America was a land where one thought big, and encouraged rather than prevented. in England all films got gratuitously censored, and you were made to feel as though you were a criminal if you wished to see any aspect of human flesh what was not a wrist or (gasp) ankle. our friends in America appeared able to watch as many chainsaw slaughter films as took their fancy, and also were allowed, with no judgement whatsoever, to look at as many naked people as they wished, with it being further that them people could be doing stuff that was strictly a no-no for our eyes. still is, with our weird successive governments thinking it is wrong and should not be seen.

here is a size comparison for you, then, to show you just how much coffee i consumed this morning. twice over, for i was so wired (and completely ripped to the tits) after the first one that i very much wished for another. on the right is a classic English Vimto mug, which has been carefully measured and created to accommodate the perfect volume of tea or coffee for English sensibilities. the American one is roughly twice the size.

on the right is a ceremonial Wizard Boy mug, featuring that guy out of that film, but in a different role in this one. whereas it looks larger, the idea is not to use it. should you use it anyway, you will find the innards have been adjusted so only the same amount what would go into the Vimto mug would go into this one.

no, i am not avoiding the "elephant in the room", to use another American term of phrase. yes, i am quite aware that England, or if you will the UK, is home to the biggest size mug known to man, or any life form. i speak, or write, of course of the infamous Sports Direct mug. but no one buys them to use, just to give to people to annoy them. many have, of course, tried to use one of them mugs. history records that in one case someone got half way through a mug of tea in one of them and their kidneys failed. another brave soul, with a bit of pacing, made it through 60% of the content of the mug, and then every vital organ in their body went completely f****d. yes, the sad reality of life in England is that you can buy such dangerous mugs, but you are not free to choose things what are considered "a bit saucy" by the ruling classes. no matter how much of a bunch of sexual degenerates them in the ruling classes are.

more, for a bit, on the book, then. Don Moyer, the writer and illustrator, on the inside jacket says that reviewers are most welcome to "republish" extracts from the book, especially if their review is a positive one. well, my review is indeed a positive one. it's a charming, whimsical, smile inducing volume, and that's great. for literature fanatics, sure, it's no, say, Bonfire Of The Vanities, but then again Tom Wolfe never thought to write of space helmet polish.

it will (or shall) indeed be so that i do attempt to drink some tea in one of these most splendid of new vessels for beverages. most likely, as is befitting, appropriate and most decidedly apt, it will be a select Fortnum & Mason procured tea of which i shall partake. which leads (to go peculiarly non non-linear with that i write) to a recent discovery of knowledge what i made. this concerns our friends in America, and their apparent lack of preference for tea.

whereas it is fairly common knowledge that the USA runs their electricity (and that) in a way somewhat different from us in England (indeed the UK), i was completely unaware that this brought a quite serious limitation of the detrimental nature. over there they run on 110V, whilst we are on somewhere between 220V and 240V. yes, a rare instance of us having something what is bigger than the USA has. it is so that we trump (so to speak) them in terms of "V" and the number of quality musicians and bands produced.

there are some advantages to their lower "V", whatever that actually is. as the electric supply is so low, they can do class things like throw active, armed and fully operational appliances, such as toasters and microwave ovens, it baths or other similar pools of water with a lot less risk of electrocution. such is still possible mind, so don't try. a big disadvantage, though, is that a kettle as we know and understand it in the UK, does not "work" there like it does here, for it is is simply not possible for a kettle plugged into the USA mains to draw enough power to reach optimal boiling range. which means they cannot make a cuppa the way we can. it is not, perhaps, that they do not wish to, rather that they are unable.

for us in the UK, we are blessed than engineers, scientists and members of the gentry dictated it so that our electricity system was of practical use, which is of course to say that they ensured a kettle plugged in would reach the perfect point of boil for tea excellence. a formidable, indeed considerable, level of calibration is conducted on every kettle produced for the UK market to confirm that they will reach this ideal state, too. as it is unlikely that the USA will approve the idea of an entire overhaul of their present (or current) electricity network just to facilitate an ability to make proper tea, we can only carry on ensuring our American friends who visit the UK are served proper tea, and frequently if not often.

right, well, as ever i can but trust that this has been informative in its own informal way. mostly, though, i just wished to express my delight, exceptional gratitude and appreciation for these lovely, wonderful, tremendous mugs, and of course the reading material with it.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

movearis ad ignotum

salve est


well, time for one of those types of posts, look you see. one of those ones which (as anyone fluent in latin shall know from the title alone) sees me summon upon my dark talents and abilities which enable me to see the unknown, to glimpse at what will form the unwritten future. so, if this or that sort of thing is likely to see you distressed, perhaps it would be (as inoffensive as i find all of this) a not so bad idea for you to have a look at something else on the internet.

recently, as in within the last year or so (concepts of time have gone out of the window of late for us all), i watched a quite class documentary. in it, him out of Darth Vader and other things had quite a deck of cards; one that was as fancy as it was unconventional. the latter comment is of relevance, as it was not so that he played a regular game with them.

no, instead, he requested that his companions in the documentary tap the deck three times, so as that they may see what they could not yet have lived to see, or if you like the future. participants in this included but were not limited to (it was a while ago so can't remember) him out of Record Breakers what did the trumpet, him out of Wicker Man and Dracula, and Kenny Lynch out of Jimmy Tarbuck.

it all looked rather splendid, if set on having somewhat of a less than positive conclusion. my thoughts were very much of how i would quite like to tap into that sort of thing, so to speak, but presumably it would not be just anyone who could obtain or acquire some class cards like that.

but, with good fortune, surprisingly they can. well, i could. for a quite nominal fee (i think just a bit north or south of £5), i could get such a deck of cards, and a most splendid, special cloth upon which to place them once drawn. one that him off of Darth Vader did not have, but anyway.

just to clarify, there is very much a finite amount of measured coins of money which i was prepared to spend on these. for the most part they are owned purely to have something to write of here. as much as i get a buzz and a thrill from people reading this, as i make precisely zero money from doing so, well, there are limitations as to what i shall do, or rather spend, for the purposes of featuring things on these pages. if they are indeed pages.

monetary constraints, and for that matter any other negative burdens, should now be set, if not quite cast, aside. here we shall now instead appreciate these cards, and see them in action. or at least as very nearly close to action as possible, going on what i can remember from the documentary what i saw. but, before that, we must know not how they shall work, but if they indeed will.

it is, but of course, important to establish that these cards shall work in the manner they are intended. with that being whatever it is they are supposed to do. for this, i have evoked not one, not three, but two means of measurement.

the first of these, and many shall be pleased to see these back, going on how many of you read or if you like consulted the last post to feature them, meant asking my previous methods of knowing that which is unknown.

yes, the bitter lemon, and the magic eight ball. using my powers, then, i asked of them do these cards work? here are the answers -

BITTER LEMON - bang on
EIGHT BALL - indications say yes

blimey. wow. sometimes it happens, but it is not (too) often that both give a similar answer, or what one could see as the same answer, in a kind of way.

let it not be so that i just expect you to take the word of my other methods for the reliability of all of this. as mentioned just a short while ago, i have elected (or opted) for a second form of measurement to see if these cards speak whatever truth it is they are supposed to.

et erit eis fatum meum

si mihi fati

to be honest, my fate is pretty much sealed anyway. all of this meddling and interference, to know the unknown so that it may enchant or entertain whoever it is that consults it, has already condemned me to that which shall be. as i have said before, i might as well do that thing out of Angel Heart where i shout "i know who i am" at the mirror, whilst tears of knowledge roll down my cheeks.

allowing for this to be the case, why then would i not, as mostly shown above, tap the deck three times, then, as shown below, draw my own five cards of fate.

what do my cards mean? i have (absolutely) no idea, i fear. or, at the least i am going to proclaim innocence of knowledge here. me just applying or assigning interpretation to any of the cards draw feels like it would be me deliberately guiding one to a conclusion. that would be unfair. also, no, the documentary did not quite show how to read the cards, and no, i did not read the instructions what came with these cards.

should any of you ascribe meaning to the cards i drew, or know how to interpret them, well, that is wonderful. for anyone else interested, and indeed those who do know what is going on, i presume that you can (if interested) chart my future (as opposed to past) fate and work out if these cards correctly indicated all that would befall me. should such information be important, then it was on the day of the summer solstice of this most troubled year on which i drew all cards.

now, then, more cards. as we are presently still, if only theoretically, fighting the (mostly) invisible war on the new plague, obviously i cannot have people holding court with me to do the card thing like what i saw in the documentary. instead, then, i created sort of (strictly non-voodoo) effigy type sort of things of some people what i believe are important to the continuance of life when the invisible war is over. irrespective of whether or not we, the people, win or fail to win.

the scribe - writing is, not that you would guess from my efforts, probably or possibly one of the most important things what we as people can do. sometimes it goes well, sometimes not so well. to this end, i elected to draw cards for one of our finest writers, in terms of success, being most widely read and, in regards of recent writing on an "internet" thing that i don't understand, upsetting people.

i do believe that now is a very good time indeed to put a disclaimer in place. under no circumstances whatsoever should it be inferred or assumed that anyone here wished to have a crack at this smart card thing, either via me or any other such means.

the buccaneer - people can be quite strange. for years and years a standard complaint about politics, particularly in the western world, was that it was "dull", that all politicians were the same, and we would surely benefit from someone radically different being involved. well, as it happens, someone radically different did get involved, and now they all just get upset about his rather cavalier, buccaneer like approach to it all. go figure.

do i have any interest in knowing what, precisely or generally, these cards are saying? yes, of course, very much so. but it strikes me as wrong, and polluting my ancient, reincarnated and new arts to seek such knowledge. rather let it be open to interpretation.

the knave - some people insist on finding out the hard way that it is far, far better to be kingmaker than it is to be king. be wary of anyone who markets themselves or has ambitions for being a king, except of course for The King, Elvis Presley. sure, being a king sounds great, but you only get to do it once, and normally it does not end well. a kingmaker, however, can sit back and make as many kings as they like.

quite a few swords seem to crop up in these cards. i am sure they are significant or symbolic of something, but no, i am not really sure as to what that could be. rather likely that the different lengths of them, as well as number and position, all translates as something or other.

the solicitor - a rather unfortunate aspect of how we have squandered many hundreds, if not thousands, of years of existing as people is that somehow it is so that we have a requirement for legal stuff, the kind of thing that no other living creature has any interest in. some are good at law and that, where of course others are not. should some sort of change be prompted in respect of the knave above, then it is probable we shall find out exactly what sort of solicitor this one is.

oddly, no, i have never yet had one of them "cease and desist" sort of letters or messages that just about everyone else what has done an internet seems to have got. could this post be the one that sees me get such? maybe, it depends on how uppity some get.

the illusionist - making people believe the opposite to what is takes some doing. to, for instance, follow an ultra nationalistic narrative whilst making people think you are socialist just because you say you are is impressive. as, too, is convincing a significant percentage of a population that a whimsical, fictional fantasy film from the 90s is actually a documentary. well played. long may the people continue to believe you are best for them, rather than accept the chance that you are simply the least worse.

how many of these have i done, exactly? probably too many. certainly more than i have interesting things to write between each one. but, that said, hope you appreciate my artistic gifts on display with regards to the effigy things. i would not say that i put a lot of effort into making them, but some.

the thespian - another sad indictment of the world we have fashioned for ourselves is that great and talented actors can generally only get frequent work in adverts these days. so it is that our drive for a complete capitalist and commercial society took us here. this chap, like that one out of Footloose who now just sells phones, is really good. far better than just doing work in which he shows off how a remote control works.

shall i be doing more posts like this one at any stage in the future? or, for that matter, in the past, since my acquired special powers probably facilitate time travel? maybe. as i now have the cards, and the smart cloth thing, it would be a shame to let them go to waste. let us see what the consequences of me doing it here in the first instance are.

the lost prince - believe it or not, there was a stage of 2020 when it seemed like the worst thing ever to happen in the year was the British public getting f****d over by someone they in general admired a lot. he got the hump with some newspaper or other, and instead of taking it up with them, just abandoned us. maybe one day he shall try and find his way home, but he may find the key no longer works.

could i be tempted into formal employment with these fabled mystical powers of mine? i suppose so, yes. a lot would depend on the hours, money and smoking facilities of course, but yes, broadly speaking i see no issue with me being a sort of Merlin or Rasputin like figure in some royal court, or even within the corridors of power of government.

the accountant - a rather unfortunate truth is that this invisible war on the plague has cost an awful lot of money. very much a lot, as it happens. more than can even be generated by the celebrated, heroic bread warrior who fought it the battles with distinction. we are going to need this chap to me most deft and quite skilful, then. let us hope that these cards project very good things indeed.

what am i going to do to assist in rebuilding the world as and when the invisible war on the plague is over, be it officially or due to everyone being bored of it? mostly likely, and within reason, all which is asked of me to do. if that happens to be doing stuff like this with cards, well, i appear to have the hang of it now. although yes i could like them up more better.

the crusader - my instinct, to be honest, was to include one for the prophet, the one who accurately predicted we would all be dead off of plague, only worded it so as to sound like she meant it was because we had stolen her dreams. however, despite the fact that she has put herself in the public eye with her frequent temper tantrums, as she is younger than eighteen (i think) it does not seem right. so here instead are the cards for one of her more dedicated disciples, someone who used to be quite class, but now just roams around, jumping on any platform that will give her any sort of attention.

am i likely to go on any sort of crusade or campaign for anything? probably not. eventually one reaches a point where they are just too tired, or far too complacent, to want anything but a quiet, normal life. just let whoever get on with whatever, thanks, i am happy sat here with books, quality music and cigarettes.

the administrator - big one, this. whereas the knave and the buccaneer have to do something to mend one country each after the plague, this multi-tasking lady has to do the same for no less than (now) twenty seven countries. or, if you like, twenty six proper countries and France. she is going to be very busy indeed, and one can but hope these cards give her some solace and comfort in knowing that the cards might be saying everything will turn out all right.

yes, just about done. by the way, i think there is a means or way or option at the bottom of these posts for you to leave comments. if you have managed to decipher or understand what any of the cards drawn imply or state, feel free to leave word. please, however, do not leave any rude words, or links to rubbish you wish to sell.

the minstrel - oh, i like her. she has the correct business model in place, and sells actual records, rather than "stream" nonsense what that Ed Sheridan (or whatever, nobody cares) does. in terms of the correct business model, she of course has a relationship, breaks up, makes a record about it, makes a lot of money. the incorrect business model is the Ronnie Wood one, where he has a relationship, breaks up, needs an awful lot of money for it, requests that the Rolling Stones do a record or tour so as to help raise funds.

phew, all done. for this post, at least. should i both survive and recover from doing these, as indicated earlier on i may well do further such card actions like this. but, for who, i know not. being unwritten does not mean that more than one destiny is available, so there would be little sense in consulting the cards for anyone already here. let me consider who else may benefit from my special powers.

i am not entirely sure how advisory stuff, such as disclaimers and warnings, work with this. as virtually everything has such a warning sellotaped to it these days, then yes, my advice to you is not to be tempted by what you have seen here in terms of meddling or experimenting with the dark arts yourself. but, well, if you are a grown up, then do what you like i guess, just know that there are consequences for you in all you do.

until, my salvation and survival depending, the next time, then.




sublimis inter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hot afternoons and sultry nights

hi there


and so to July. this is traditionally regarded as the seventh month of the year, but this are different here in 2020, look you see. by current standards we are possibly in month five of the invisible war on the new plague. alternatively, it is so for many that the war is won, it has been waged longer, or it was never really there.

yes, this is indeed one of those (one of a couple, or several) months which is named after a Roman Emperor, or similar. i shall have gone into some detail on this for the similar sort of post this time last year, or maybe the one before.

for those of you who have come to prefer using my calendar rather than one of your own, or just for some reason find this convenient (interesting too, perhaps), here we go. the calendar for the month. well, one of the ones we have in the house. and to start off with, a look at the month ahead from the calendar off of Mum and Dad in New Zealand

should the writing (text) not be so clear on the picture, i am happy (indeed satisfied) to confirm for you that this is indeed Sunrise Hut, found at Hawke's Bay in (or on) the North Island. no, so far as i am aware, it is not so that the bay is named after Australian PM (former) Bob Hawke, for there is no reason for anyone in NZ to name something after him. still, great picture. and also reflects that for them to the south of the equator, July is very much a winter thing.

it has become reasonably (or quite) common for me to highlight select dates - anniversaries, memorable things and that sort of thing - for each month. let this be no different, then. here are some incidents from the past (as opposed to the future) that you may, or may not, wish to give pause for thought or some consideration to.

1 - on this day in 2012 it was so that The Stone Roses did not play their best, greatest and most important concert. general consensus, from the band at their most fragmented, the critics at their most vicious and the fans at their most one generation under the same groove, has it that this title belongs to the gig they did at Glasgow Green, 9 June 1990. but, all the same, on 1 July 2012, The Stone Roses did the final of three gigs at Heaton Park, where i was in attendance with my (considerably) better half and some very dear friends.

2 - during a standard, conventional (as in non-leap year) year, this date is the slap bang right between the eyes dead set centre middle of the year. to save you counting, 182 days have gone, 182 to come.

4 - a date widely celebrated in the USA as the day they officially (and categorically) selected coffee over tea. maybe, and i am no expert, that is why things tend to get so tense on their side of the pond.

5 - so far as i would be aware, today is a most ceremonial day for it is the (official state) birthday of His Excellency, the Viscount of Stockton (and several other titles). also, it was (or is) so that on this day in 1954 The King, Elvis Presley, recorded His first single, That's All Right Mama. let much merriment mark this day for all.

7 - to show how rapid, fluid or quick things work, on this day in 1954 it is so that a radio station in Memphis (WHBQ) became the first ever to play a song by The King, Elvis Presley. yes, indeed it was That's All Right Mama.

8 - celebrated EE advert star and former actor Kevin Bacon, better known as him out of Footloose, was born on this day in 1958.

10 - today is 'International Tesla Day', which honours Nikola Tesla, a man whose greatest achievement, and lasting legacy, is that he got played by David Bowie in the boss film The Prestige.

12 - it is commonly agreed that the first ever gig by The Rolling Stones was played on the evening of this day, in 1962, at the legendary Marquee Club. whatever dreams and aspirations they had for that first one, it is almost certain that whenever they eventually play their last gig it shall be motivated by some sort of financial requirement by Ronnie Wood.

14 - zut alors, mon amis, tres bien, oui oui. yes, today is indeed Bastille Day, or at least so for the French. i have some vague recollection of what it's all about, but basically all you need to know if you are not French is that it is a date of importance to the French from that time when France declared war on itself, and lost. for more extensive (and expansive) knowledge, it had something or other to do with bread. anyway, here is a picture what i have done of Paris, and surrounding areas.

16 - on this day in 1969, man did start the mission to land on the moon, thank you. between the moon landing an the JFK assassination, well, the sixties were a decade of conspiracy theories being created by and for our friends in America. of all the many wonderful benefits of the moon landings the one most frequently overlooked is the accuracy of the song Walking On The Moon by The Police was made possible by it all.

18 - today is International Nelson Mandela Day, or Mandela Day, or indeed Madiba Day. enjoy, think kindly of others, do good, and remember a quite remarkable man on a day which would have been, or perhaps always is, his birthday.

19 - the light which burns twice as bright, tears in rain and if only you could see what i have seen. it was on this day last year (2019) that Rutger Hauer passed away. much like everyone else, i like to think he did so peacefully, in an accepting way, sat on a roof with a dove.

21 - quite a decent UK singles chart was announced on this day in 1985. the didadidadyiyah daaah daaah song off of Eurythmics climbed number one, Into The Groove off of Madonna entered (so to speak) at number four, whilst Prince entered the chart at the celebrated 45 position with Raspberry Beret.

23 - quite a roll call for birthdays today. on this day in history it was so that English cricket legend Graham Gooch (1953), (sadly no longer with us) South African cricketing great Clive Rice (1949), competent guitarist Slash (1965) and Martin Gore out of Depeche Mode (1961) were all born. loads of other people to. in particular about a dozen Turkish footballers, but that's not a subject i often write about.

24 - there will be a fair few parties going on in South America today, for it is Simón Bolívar day in Bolivia, Colombia, Venezuela and Ecuador. often referred to as El Libertador, he really did not care much for the Spanish. well, who does.

26 - class film The Spaceman & King Arthur was released on this day in 1979, but in America, and under the name Unidentified Flying Oddball. as per my review not so long ago, worth watching to see Rodney Bewes being bribed with pornographic material to do stuff.

27 - and in sticking with a cinematic theme, today is the day that was the day in 1984 that the motion picture Purple Rain, featuring Prince in just about every capacity possible, was released. really a superb film on release, holds up well to this day.

30 -a very happy birthday indeed to Ümit Davala, born on this very day in 1973. he needs no introduction, surely, but on the off chance he does, well, he is regarded as the best, most important and the greatest Turkish footballer of all time. yes, born on the very same day, but in Greece, was Anastasios Katsabis, but i could not find a picture of him. not that i looked much.

the usual disclaimer of course applies - whilst it is great if some of the above are of (even the most passing of) interest, then great, but you are far better off just marking or commemorating anything which is most quality in your life.

no, i have not forgotten about you and yes, here it is. them two last answers given were (of course) in response to the question about an update on the Star Wars calendar, bought for £1 off of Poundland, which beautifies the kitchen.

yes, alas, 31 boring and dull days of looking at the gay robot and the tin can which gender identifies as a bin, or whatever their names are. from what i can remember, i think they star (or feature) in all of the Star Wars films, except maybe Solo and them "Ewok" things (Caravan Of Courage and Battle For Endor or similar) which the more precious type of Star Wars fanatic tries to pretend isn't real, or does not exist.

and so that's that for this calendar update. i would reasonably expect more of the same next month, only the focus shall (probably) be on August related matters. should the calendars have helped you with your own planning requirements, that's fantastic, man, so it is, to be sure.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!