mostly, or for the most part, this is all going to be taken as one big whine. with their being at least partial truth in such there's nothing i could say or do to alter that interpretation. yet also there's nothing i would do in a way to influence such, look you see. take all of this, as with anything here, as you will.
so, at the time of writing, let's cast our memories, thoughts and what have you back to that wild day which was the last of August 2024. for some it will be the penultimate too. i speak, of course, of the day when ostensibly tickets went on sale for the much vaunted Oasis reunion. yes i tried, no i did not get. there you go, that's why some shall interpret this as being a whine, and that's precisely why i called this post what i did. had i wished for all poor, poor, pitiful me, i dare say i would have gone with, for an immediate example, something like stop crying your heart out. or even please don't put your life in the hands of a rock and roll band. but i didn't.
actually, it feels oddly (weirdly) satisfactory to be one of the ones with a story of failure to get tickets to tell. disappointing, for sure, especially with the reason (that i shall not disclose) which i had to even try, but hey. considering the significantly huge number of people who(m) also did not get tickets, for a rare instance i actually feel like "part of the crowd", if not a functional member of society. and sincerely, truly, to those who bought tickets with an intention to actually attend (and not just sell them) may it be so that you get one of the best gigs / nights of your life.
the story of my failure shall be limited to this one (1) paragraph, and the remainder of the images. no, hang on, it will be that for the story of my failure to get tickets. the broader tale of my general failure would take a lot more and no one will be interested. moving on, i didn't get a "ballot" success email thing for the "pre-sale" the night before and then i rather foolishly (if not optimistically) decided to login to the ticket websites about half an hour before sales went "live". so i (takes breath) found myself in a queue to be in the queue to get on the website to join the queue for the queue that was waiting for the queue to buy tickets. obviously i wandered around and did stuff (laundry, bought a Simon & Garfunkel tape, etc) whilst this all went on. by the time it was my turn to try and buy tickets, some 8 or so hours later, i got hit with some "suspension" on suspicion of being a robot. oh how i f****g wish i was a robot, for then i could be reprogrammed to be actually decent a life. so no, no tickets for me.
what's the purpose of this post, then? perhaps not entirely catharsis, but that would be part of it. a means, if you will, for anyone who happens on this to consider how both missing out on Oasis tickets is not the end of the world, and how missing out on Oasis tickets may well be a good thing. just take the parts of the below you like.
Oasis are an absolutely f*****g terrible live band
kind of. indeed the musical performances are note perfect, but that's the protblem. Noel spends the gig staring at his guitar, making sure it all sounds exactly like on the record. so why not just listen to the record, then. granted Liam is one of the purest, greatest rock and roll frontmen in history, but certainly not the greatest and all for everything about him except live. his presence, performance and occasional incidental swagger is all of note, but he simply lacks that special "charisma". essentially, seen one Oasis gig, seen every Oasis gig. and yes, even if just on video. what makes an Oasis gig "legendary" or "awful" has f*** all to do with them and everything to do with the vibe of the audience. which leads very nicely to.......
You don't have to endure the Oasis crowd
once more let me wheel out that "hell is other people" line. The Stone Roses were beautiful man, bringing one generation together under the same groove. Happy Mondays and Primal Scream brought together those stoned immaculate, all goofed and trollied and cabbaged and on the same trip, the arching anthems of Oasis were a massive giant magnet for what we used to call "lager louts". i suspect the crowds at each gig shall be far from pleasant.
going, as far as i can, venue by venue, Heaton Park was the one to absolutely avoid. this shall be filled with people around my age who(m) think they can still party like they did in the mid to late 90s. some shall (to be fair) be able to do so, many will crash and burn. if you were fortunate enough to get tickets for Heaton Park, enjoy all the blokes urinating everywhere (including on you), spewing and puking (again on you), throwing punches around, passing out and slurring Wonderwall.
i was quite excited by the idea of going to Wembley, as that's the one loads of Japanese tourists will be at and they are awesome. however, it will also be no picnic. possibly less throwing up, etc, because down there in London (innit) they all drink shandy. the drug of choice is (heavily stepped on) coke, as observed with the wonderful @r$e flare man at the football. probably a lack of the exciting urination and violence Heaton Park will have, but still, thousands of coked up chavs.
not quite sure on the rest. the Irish proudly brand themselves as "always being up for the craic", which from what i gather they take as a licence for many hundreds of barbarian like thugs turning up, crashing the gig as they have "every right" to be there "because Ireland" and causing all sorts of mayhem. Scotland will do Scotland. in the late 90s i, at the insistence of some Welsh people, had a "proper Welsh drink". there is circumstantial yet compelling evidence that the life i knew ceased on having that, and everything since has been some weird metaphorical afterlife.
this is not a one off, last chance to see Oasis
perhaps i am being overtly romantic, but one gets the sense of Oasis being the be all and end all for Liam, it is his passion, it is what he wants and he would do it all for free. not so with Noel. his immense enthusiasm for money is well known and he has not been shy to comment on how he likes to make sure he always gets the money. fair play, good luck to him. leaving aside his well documented immediate need for money, its not like he will straight away lose the taste for it. quite likely that this is it, Oasis are back on for the foreseeable, so long as they avoid Paris. if nothing else you can pretty much expect another tour in 2027 (!) for Be Here Now celebrations.
for those that missed out on Oasis Live 25 (as it is branded), those weekends just get some mates around with a few cans, put the tapes on, singalong and know that you can likely go see them in 26, 27 or whenever. i wouldn't suggest it, but if you all crush together, charge yourselves £20 each for a drink, making sure you watered it down, and spend some time peeing, puking and punching each other then you will replicate the gigs, only with better sound.
much of the audience is expected to be "younger", as in too young to have been to (or endure) an Oasis concert before. some rather laughable "gatekeeping" has been happening around this, with dull boring old f***s around my age suggesting they shouldn't be going. roam free, younglings, enjoy it all. i am so sorry that your generation has failed to produce any interesting or decent rock stars, you are very welcome to embrace ours. just try to not spend it all watching through your phone as you video it.
back in the 90s when Oasis did "events" they had a wealth of great bands to give support. from what i remember you had the likes of the Manics, Prodigy, think a Shaun Ryder band and maybe at some stage Primal Scream too. if the best possible support act being named is The Courteeners, well, oh dear. won't be at all surprised to learn Inhaler (who are actually really good) are a support band, as they have been for Noel before. purely on merit and not because Noel wants to keep in with Bono. i am going to hop i am wrong but i do think support acts will be quite cheap to book bands of little interest who(m) will very much be all "it's an honour to play on the same bill" in the hope of getting some exposure and praying they don't get too many p!ss bottles thrown at them. for the latter, well, would be wonderful if they booked that Ed Sheridan (or whatever).
quite a few rumours floating around, with the suggestion (or idea) that Blossoms will play at the Manchester gigs. which could be quite good if they do that The Smiths thing with Rick Astley. apparently, going on Liam's inability to comprehend that a journalist who covers the Manic Street Preachers frequently isn't actually a member of the band, no Manics at any dates.
oh but it will be televised
when it was all announced, this reunion and tour, the advert made a claim that it "will not be televised". that was presumed to rule out Glastonbury or all other televised festivals where they would have to sign off on not getting all them lovely royalties. skip forward a week (or so) and there's a billboard in America, apparently "asking them to come" and tour the States. with an official (ie not likely to be used without permission) image of them and the tell-tale "Amazon music" text at the bottom of it.
it's all a bit like that time the SNP funded that sign saying the EU "will" be leaving a light on for Scotland, really. no, not the part where the EU would absolutely not wish to have to bail out yet another economic basket case, the "misleading" part about who(m) did the advert. highly unlikely it was done without the band's say so. expect a nice tie-in with Amazon, then, be it a "live stream" of some of the gigs which they will fob off as "demand driven", or some documentary or concert film via their services at some point or other.
and yes it is all being filmed, in this era of disclosure (on everything except actual ticket prices) they have had to put on the tickets a clear message that some of the concerts are being recorded, presumably visual and audio.
let it not be said that Noel is the only one seeing these gigs as £££££££££££££££££££. just a few days into his glorious leadership and Sir Keir has made it clear he will punish everyone except train drivers. so you can expect (next July and August) all the train drivers to go on strike again (assuming the current one doesn't just carry on) until they are paid as much as Oasis are. unlikely that Sir Keir will be able to give them the money, as by then all cigarette tax revenue will be gone as he will have forced everyone to buy illegally smuggled in ones, no one will drive cars due to the fuel duty increases and there shall be no income tax revenue, with most of the population quitting work as meagre benefits will be more money than heavily taxed salaries. so, if you have a ticket for Oasis anywhere next year, maybe consider thinking about starting to walk to it now.
should you make it to the venue itself, bravo, but also find a park to sleep in. one where the council hasn't put spikes on the seats. as reported nearly all hotels near all the venues have been booked by those anticipating getting tickets. famously people who had booked hotels before the great Reformation era of Oasis was announced found that their bookings were cancelled, which has spoiled a wedding or two. we have to understand that people getting rich from Noel Gallagher getting richer is a priority in the world.
everyone who(m) was fortunate enough to get a ticket at "face value" price, or was prepared to pay the special, exciting "surge" price out of fear of missing out, is going to be spending five to ten times that amount (and then some) to find out listening to a tape, disc, lp or "stream" of Don't Look Back In Anger is superior to hearing Noel being muffled out by thousands shouting along.
right, that will do. pick out the parts you like in the above and ignore the rest. anyone upset by any of this then mostly that's a you problem, but really don't let anything i or anyone says stop you from being what you will. dig what you dig, man.
be (mostly) excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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