season end

heya

and so, more or less, another season (series) of football has drawn to a close. in England, that is, look you see. well, sure, there's a couple more games to go, but the league bit is done. 

undoubtedly one will, if inclined, find all sorts of reports, comments and verdicts on the season. this isn't really that kind of post. instead i am here to congratulate, if not quite celebrate, a "win" that has been surprisingly absent from much coverage. 

quite a few go on about the "big six" of the dominant premier league, although recently people have postulated as to if it's now a "big seven" with the sudden success of Newcastle. perhaps it would make more sense to keep it as a "big six" and exclude the lowest finisher of the traditional (for the last few years) six, Chelsea i believe, and have Newcastle in their place. but then, as it happens, really there's only an actual "big four", with the four (4) clubs making up that number being ones what the legendary Joe Cole played for at some point. 

perhaps the most baffling aspect of the season gone is the proliferation of Joe Cole as some sort of sage. various broadcasters have got him in, and i think one or two newspapers (and related periodicals) run articles based on the views of Joe Cole. surely, i thought, a natural extension of this, and the bewildering determination have such a thing as a match declared a Joe Cole Derby, would be to have the Joe Cole League. only four (4) clubs in the present premier league qualify for it, so they are the big four i suppose. 

here, then, in no particular order, are the results of the "big four" matches which could in some way claim to be that apparently most desirous of things, a Joe Cole Derby - 

yes, i did give (brief) consideration to writing them up on a Commodore 64 emulator, but frankly i am not that bothered or interested. but still, somehow i had the time and inclination to get these results together to share here. 

further, showing i still have all the numerical, mathematical skills what came with a Grade C at GSCE in maths (please stop calling it "math", Americans, it is maths), here you go, i worked out the Joe Cole League Table for the season too - 

congratulations, then, to Liverpool for being crowned Joe Cole League Champions. and they did this undefeated, which is to say they did not (unless i missed a result) get beaten off of any other team what had once fielded Joe Cole in the premier league. wow. despite having a relatively poor season Chelsea did a decent job of trying to honour Joe Cole. and West Ham finish bottom having scored fewer goals than Aston Villa. but the bottom two should be ashamed of themselves. still, no one finished the Joe Cole seasons without at least 1 (one) win. 

do the winners of the Joe Cole League get a trophy, or special badge or other such presentation thing? not that i am aware of, no. perhaps he could be guest of honour at Liverpool's first home game of the season next season, with a bit of an announcement that he's there because Liverpool won the Joe Cole League in a most impressive fashion. push comes to shove i could probably knock up some sort of poster of congratulations on MS Paint. 

oh, certainly i am aware of there are other players turned pundits i could have done a league for. i suppose the most obvious would be Lineker, but he gets paid loads to sit and ask Alan or Ian what they thought of a goal for an hour each week, so he can calculate an Everton, Spurs and Leicester league if he wishes. on that note, a Shearer one consisting of Newcastle and Southampton could be done, as well as a Wright one of Crystal Palace, Arsenal, West Ham and Nottingham Forest. knock yourself out if you wish to calculate such for yourself, for i am already on the Joe Cole bandwagon. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!