cinque ports baron

hello there

no, certainly, this is not a subject i had thought to write of (or about) here before. this, mostly, would be because, look you see, i had no idea of what such things as these were. but, here we are. 

i recently (in the past, as opposed to the future) sort of accidentally ended up in what is traditionally referred to as the south east of our fair nation. this was kind of (by my standards) a spur of the moment thing, coming from a blended mix of opportunity and a "totes f*** it yolo" moment. as i feel obliged to write here of the (very few) things what happen to me or i do, undoubtedly comments on my experiences, or at least those i can share, shall flow in this post and future ones. 

so, anyway, cinque ports. no, i had absolutely no idea what these would be. it was Dad who mentioned to me that i was in the area of such. yes, certainly, he knacked me for not knowing (what with me having degrees and such from education), and also promptly knacked me for not immediately looking up what it all meant. 

for reasons of fair (and quite reasonable) warning, please note that the above image is the only one not to feature moi in some sort of selfie thing. whereas (surely) one or two of you don't mind seeing me, it is likely that a few would care not to, at all. so, you have been warned. but, also, note that there are a couple of (incorrectly named) videos coming up, and i am not in them. 

right, anyway, now i know what a cinque port, or what the cinque ports, is/are. once upon a time it was used to reference an alliance, or if you like quite American sounding terms confederate, of coastal towns (in the south east) formed for strategic military purposes and trade with them in europe, although for some reason some people believe trade with europe only existed after the formation of all that ec / eec / eu stuff in the mid 20th century. 

whereas this was all once of grand importance and major significance, today it seems the term (or phrase, if it is one) cinque ports is used more as a ceremonial thing, referencing an aspect of history that we are allowed, in this age of wanting to erase or "cancel stuff", presently to speak of. someone shall no doubt, however, eventually get their knickers in a twist about it, spew their venom and bile on the subject on so-called "social" media, and we will all have to pretend none of it ever existed. but for now, as far as i am aware, i am ok to write of it. here, have a look at some video of one of the cinque ports, folkestone i believe but for numerous reasons i keep instinctively calling it felixstowe. 

my suspicion is that the video above plays back "sideways", or at the least not with the rotation that was intended or planned. sorry about that if so, all down to this fancy new way that one has to write blog posts on blogger with their "improved" interface. the one which throws away that "if it isn't broken don't fix it" ethos. yes, them pictures featuring moi (me) are coming up next, so depart if you have no wish to see them, or scroll quite quick to the reading. and thank you for reading. 

something which still very much exists, as part of the ceremonial side of these cinque ports, are prestigious (albeit honorary) titles associated with them. in this day and age it remains so that one can be a baron of a cinque port, or indeed (i think) the overall lord warden of the cinque ports. yes, i am indeed very interested in obtaining one of these titles. well, probably more the baron one. even on a ceremonial level, that lord warden title sounds like a bit too much responsibility. 

how is it one goes about being made a baron of the cinque ports? very good question. from what i can work out you get nominated or appointed by someone or other from the cinque ports. possibly a council decision, or other similar leaders, such as the village elders. eventually, if i remember to do so (and have a spare stamp) i shall seek out the address for correspondence relating to appointment and send them a letter requesting that i be awarded the title.

if you've decided to brave an experimental look at me in one of the pictures, well. modesty should prevent such comment, but maybe i do not seem to appear so bad in this one. certainly, when i shared it on my accounts for that so-called "social" media business, it was on the whole generally well received. later images here, maybe not so much, but eye of the beholder, etc. 

do i anticipate (or expect) a favourable response to my correspondence in respect of application to be presented with, or awarded, the title of cinque port baron? not really, but then again my outlook and expectations tend to reside in the area of thinking called pessimistic. maybe, or perhaps, i shall be pleasantly surprised. 

mostly, as it happens, i expect that a significant contributing factor to my application to be made a cinque port baron (or, if they insist, lord warden) not being successful is that usually i happen to live (literally) 300 (or so) miles north of the place. whilst i could do that modern thing, kicking off about injustice, claiming myself as victim of the nearest closest "ism" likely to have impact, common sense surely prevails here. should somewhere i was living have a baron, or indeed lord warden, then as a minimum i would expect them to reside in the place. 

that indeed is me (moi) outside the, as the sign says, royal cinque ports yacht club. one of the privileges (since perks sounds too common) of being a baron would be, i suspect, membership of this establishment. do i feel that i could fit in? yes. i am assuming the dress code is deck shoes with no socks, some white or possibly navy chinos, one of them white shirts with navy loops around it, a wool or similar white jumper over the shoulders and a sailor hat. that is the look i have always craved. 

just in case you were wondering, yes, as well as ceremonial, there are certain other privileges to being one of these cinque port barons. apparently, and in fairness i did only skim read it to grasp points that i thought might be interesting (or quite class), as a cinque port baron i would be able to sit relatively close to members of the Royal Family during any service that was held at Westminster Abbey, assuming i get invited to them. which is, yes, unlikely, but you never know. although you might.

on a general level, what did i think of the south east? in terms of the bits i saw, it is so that i thought a very great deal of good. the only real issue i had was with how hot and humid it all was. as in, at one stage my phone flashed some previously unseen warning, saying that the temperature was too hot for it to operate. once you get used to all of that, absolutely beautiful place, and i got to meet some truly wonderful people. 

some more video above for you then, which (once more) may well come out sideways. that, like the other, was filmed at folkestone. i keep trying to remember to say that, but instantly think of felixstowe, which was where (in a previous century) i had quite an adventure. one which, alas, for the most part is not particularly suitable (or appropriate) to recall here. 

whilst there were many (wonderful) highlights on my adventures, one which stuck with me to the extent it comes to mind now was the proliferation of signs reminding people to drive on the left, which of course is the proper side to do so. yes, under the English way of doing things. the sign was presented in english, in the major, proper european languages, and in french too, presumably for fun. i would expect these signs are due to the large amount of cross channel traffic down in that part of our nation, and the proclivity of the (continental) europeans to drive on the entirely wrong (right) side of the road. quite often these signs appeared at a point where it would perhaps have been too late to be of benefit, and also i think they might be a good idea to have across the whole country. 

do i, to get back to the ostensible point, have anything else further to add on the subject of cinque ports? not really, that i can think of. but, here is another selfie. 

i think that one was in dover, with one of them cruise liners (or just a regular ferry) in the background. no, so far as i am aware, they are not in use at the moment, or not so much, due to this invisible war on the new plague still (theoretically) being fought. yes, i did see the white cliffs, but (alas) no i didn't get a decent picture of them. 

anyway, let me get on with working out how, exactly, i become one of these cinque port baron types. i really do fancy that title to my name, to be sure. perhaps i shall start by writing to my MP. he is, after all, a lovely bloke, and his endorsement cannot hurt my chances. 

sorry again if the video is upside down or sideways, but if it is, right, it's not me, it's what blogger has gone done to how you create posts here. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!