exchange

hello there

at some stage, i would speculate, just about each and every one of us did, when we were younger (as opposed to when we are older, look you see), wonder or ponder on what might we become. yes, indeed, this is something i most certainly did. be it within the confines of a formal "careers guidance" meeting at school, or conversations with friends, or just momentarily filling up some time alone, i did consider what i may well be, what i might become. 

i doubt very much that any dreams, ambitions, designs, ideas or aspirations had in this regard differ too radically from many. at times i gave consideration to such professions (or vocations) as standard, generic and usual as pilot, astronaut, writer, teacher,  someone what gets paid very well to effectively drive great distances whilst listening to quality music, nightclub owner, director, naval officer or some other predominantly oceanic based career dominated by men who like being with men, corporate finance, rock star or better manager, fashion critic or perhaps even a feared gangland crime boss. yes, fortune has meant that i have had dalliances with most of them, as things turned out. 

now, what with the site of the end in sight (cue something like the first few lines of It's A Sin off of Pet Shop Boys, or similar), i am acutely aware, if that is the right use of at least one of those words, i should have set ambitions somewhere rather different. giving time again, knowing what i know, then all thoughts of the above, all energy, effort and focus, would exclusively have been on becoming a monkey what sits in a scientists laboratory smoking all day. 

with social media being what it is today, mostly a tetchy kettle of those itching to get upset and wail on the slightest provocation or invitation, undoubtedly this sentiment shall be misinterpreted, so as to feed some plight unrelated. no, i am not endorsing, advocating or supporting that thing where science types take monkeys (apparently monkies is wrong) and make them smoke, far from it. but, since it is a thing, one cannot realistically stop or prevent me from yearning, or longing, to be one of them. 

for the sake of provenance, or clarity, the images here (and indeed a slight moment of video) are all taken off of a video what i found over at the archive website. my understanding that all stored there is stuff what is free, or bereft, of all that copyright stuff which the internet has an exceptional track record for respecting. so, no, it is not like i have a huge personal stash of material relating to scientists what have created a career out of making monkeys smoke.

the practice, or art, of doing this does indeed strike me as rather cruel, possibly barbaric and certainly rather distressing to see. undoubtedly there is some sort of scientific information or knowledge extracted from doing this which is of vague benefit to someone somewhere, but i very much doubt that any monkey what is doing it (or has done it) was consulted or asked if they would care to do so. more likely it was the case that assumed, tacit consent was given. 

rather all the more reason, then, to let some of us partially educated, aware of the "risks" and of our own free will, elect or select to do this apparently most important thing. i mean, yes, you would get all of that usual noise, saying "but smoking kills, you can't let people do it", but unless that is coming from some kind of (as in specifically) immortal, shall never die non-smoker, it's academic and relative. besides, every time someone announces some wild, ambitious and ludicrous chance to go to some other planet, like Mars, mostly, there are always thousands of volunteers, knowing even that it means no return and a likely uncomfortable demise. of all living things on this planet, it does seem that it is only humans what engage in things which they are aware may well result in their death. this has somehow made us the dominant, if not superior, species on earth. go figure. 

do i really need to spell out why, now, this is the career objective i should have had all along? very well, fine. going on all that i can see, or otherwise ascertain (but not discern), one gets all of their basic needs and requirements met for them, with the only expectation being that they, in return or if you like exchange for this, just sit there and smoke all day. at the great risk of simply stating the obvious, this does strike me as a simple, easy and fuss free way of spending away all of whatever time one is given to indulge on this planet. 

exactly how outlandish, unreasonable, preposterous or silly is thing want and wish of mine? actually, when all is considered, not very much at all. there are many, many people what forge a career from doing them "clinical tests", where they are subjected to medicines and what have you, in exchange for coins of money. most recently, of course, we have seen a huge surge in this career choice, what with people volunteering themselves to be experimented on with an assortment of weapons for the invisible war against the new plague. and it's not like i would have high salary demands. so long as they gave me stuff to eat and a place to sleep, well, keep the cigarettes coming then, i shall crack on. 

how likely will it be, mindful of how many measured years of my life have passed and the constrictions, or limitations, of so short a time left, that i could change career to become a monkey what sits in a lab and smokes all day? extremely unlikely. in the first instance, they do not appear to advertise for people to do this job. believe me, i have looked, and had there been an advert for such an opportunity then i would have applied. further, or also, they probably would want someone that was not a smoker in the first instance, so as to monitor and document all what happens with smoking in respect of the human, or monkey, body. 

speaking of which, why is it, exactly, that no one has had a really good look at those people who pursue career aims that involve them being one of the scientists which just makes a monkey smoke all day? usually they only do all of them "psychological analysis" things of people what have done something wrong or illegal, measured against societal norms or prevailing laws. surely it would be worth trying to get an understanding of a young mind what declares it wishes to make a monkey smoke, and then the owner of said mind dedicates their academic and professional career to achieving this? 

a fairly obvious question presents itself from the above. the answer to it is no. well, that is if the question is would i not have been happy, or content, to be the scientist what makes the monkey smoke. doing so does not seem at all satisfactory, and rather cruel as outlined above. also, as a scientist, you are probably expected not to smoke, so it's not like you could sit and have one, keeping the monkey company as he (or indeed she, for i believe monkey smoking is equal opportunity) gets on with it. 

one thing i am not too clear on, exactly, is what all these notes being made are for. i mean, what is it they are studying, or observing, as they make monkeys smoke? presumably it is whatever damage is being done, and yet one could not tell that from an external look. my best guess, then, is that he is jotting down if the monkey enjoyed a particular cigarette or not. maybe he gets together with other scientists what have monkeys that they also make smoke, and they compare notes, discussing the different tastes and interests which monkeys have. 

possibly (or perhaps) it is so that in conclusion, here i should be placing a form of inspirational message. you know, something along the lines of "follow your dreams", "reach for a dream", "have the courage to set targets and go for goal" or similar. do, by all means, feel free to take any such sentiment which strikes you as relevant away with you, then.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

improbability drive

howdy pop pickers

well, this is curious. believe me, i had no intention, look you see, of starting off the second month of this year precisely as i did the first. which is making extensive reference to what is (probably) the greatest work of art what the twentieth century produced, or as it is called for short Tommy by The Who. 

presently, and at the time of writing, it would be fair to say that i own (or am the custodian of) several copies of Tommy in its original album format. off memory (i cannot recall many things with too much precision no more), at least two variations of "regular" CD, one which preserves it as a two disc affair and one as a single, some form of "special edition" CD that came with a "live bootleg" of the whole thing, and i think two copies of it on vinyl. also, Daltrey's (fairly) recent "Orchestral" version of it. and some DVDs, videos and what have you. 

quite by chance, a chance presented itself to take ownership (be custodian sense) of another variation of the work that is Tommy on an entirely different format. so, i took the chance. 

yes, in the greater good and glory of Commodore 64 mode, there is the version of Tommy what The Who did with both the London Symphony Orchestra and star guests. on, as many of you will have no need for me to define or explain, the 8 Track format. 

as far as i am aware, indeed concerned, this is the first time that i have ever owned (or been designated the protectorate of) any vibes in this somewhat, or rather, different format. how splendid that it should be so that it's a particularly fine recording what i have for a first then. also, in all likelihood, this is the last instance of me taking ownership of vibes, or anything, in this format. 

just what is, or was (is, as it still seems to be around), 8 Track? well, i could do a google and give you an extensive, proper answer. but, you could do that. let me trust memory and experience, then. which is going to be interesting, as such is very limited indeed. 

my basic, rudimentary understanding (as in guess) was or is that 8 Track was or is the "stepping stone" between reel to reel tape and them what we now know as conventional tapes. i am unsure that they were ever all that popular here in the UK, and i generally associate the format with our friends in America. 

i base the above purely on only ever knowing one (1) person what had an 8 Track here in the UK, although there might have been a second. but, the only friend i can remember having one and actually having it play whilst i was in their presence was the illustrious Norman B@st@ard. this was not a particularly good experience of it, either, as he had attempted to record some new stuff on an old 8 Track tape, unsuccessfully. either the tape was damaged, or it was a flaw in the format, but it seemed to cut and chop between parts of different songs as it played. also we might have pressed a "random" button if it had such a feature, or twatted it one so it was indeed broken. 

how did i come to take ownership of this complete set of Tommy as performed by The Who, the LSO (and that is just to save me typing out London Symphony Orchestra, also saving you valuable time in reading London Symphony Orchestra again and again. oh) and some special friends? a complete surprise act of random kindness, explained a bit more after another image for all of you who might for one reason or another be interested in this. 

no, i am not particularly what one would call "social". it is not really difficult to be not, for as someone close stresses, really everyone hates me, can see through my mask, despite me, etc. quite reassuring how often i get told this, in case i forget. but, leaving that aside, i do "keep a hand" in one or two social things, so as to ward off concern. whilst i am not going to give you the details, in such a forum one person was having a rough day, and wished to do a random act of kindness, offering these to anyone what might be interested in them, free, and they would pay postage too. very generous indeed, i took them up on it, and of course offered to pay something and cover postage. they were having none of it. 

and so here we are. lovely stuff. 

from what i can work out, or gather (ascertain, perhaps) there is a most curious effort going on to try and revive this format. unless it was all one grand and "practical" joke where i missed the punchline, for Christmas 2020 one could purchase a Dolly Parton Christmas Album on 8 Track. it strikes me as there is little more in the world which could be quite so quintessentially American as this, which may well be why i associate the format with our friends in the good ole' US of A. yee ha, etc. 

shall it be so that i ever, you know, actually play these tapes? if, of course, "tapes" is the correct way to refer to an 8 Track. my understanding is that yes, it is so, for in the above picture you can clearly see the tape itself, housed in the cartridge. going on from that clarification, at this point no, it seems unlikely that i will be able to check them out by means of playing them.

once i (gratefully) received the 8 Track tapes, i did indeed take to the greatest and most best known of car boot sales of the internet to inspect what was available in respect of players. we speak, of course, of a technology which was rendered obsolete somewhere north of 40 years ago, meaning that i went for a look with little optimism. some speculative reading and the odd glance revealed that the market dictates a valuation degrees north of £50 for an 8 Track player which might work. also, it might not. to put a sort of kind of fiscal sense context to that, for between £10 and £20 i could get this Tommy variation in a compact disc or vinyl record format and just play it. or, indeed, for £0, just "borrow" it off of the internet, as i believe one can do. 

when i posted news of my procurement of this Tommy set on one of the social media things (yes, maybe i am more active than i mentioned before), some comments came in. one spoke of fond memories of the format, another commented how hideous the sound is off of them. this neither shrinks nor expands my existing understanding of the format, but it does solidify the stance which says i probably would not be wise to spend significant coins of money on a player just to see what might happen. or hear, i suppose. 

anything more i can tell you on the actual recordings? for some reason i thought it was done as a kind of charity thing, but i have checked and no, done purely because they could. guest starts (artistes, if you prefer) include Rod Stewart (who was supposed to do the whole thing alone but did not), Ringo Starr, Steve Winwood, Richard Harris (yes, that one) and some others. i am almost certain that i have indeed heard this particular variation of Tommy, and that i have not (prior to this set) retained a copy of it probably speaks of what i thought of it. 

my thanks, once more, then, to the random generosity of a random internet stranger for these 8 Track tapes now forming part of my collection of stuff off of The Who. sit here, they shall, looking kind of cool and interesting. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cruise control

hi there

to state the obvious, there were many, many victims of the invisible war against the new plague last year. with that year being 2020, look you see, on the off chance someone (anyone) is reading this well north beyond the borders of the current year, 2021. 

if asked to name any of these victims, some are fairly obvious, and universally acknowledge. one which might not strike as immediate is, of course, all of them what invested rather heavily in (Greta upsetting) predominantly plastic based items of merchandise licenced for (from) films what didn't end up getting released. or, released as they should have been. but mostly not released. 

generally, if not strictly, speaking, basically every film gets some sort of merchandising release. or "merch" as these you-tube people seem to call it, acting as they do like they invented the concept. which they did not. this is whether the film warrants merchandising as such, and irrespective of the, as the kids call it, "merch", is actually relevant to the film. 

just before Christmas, then, i saw the above rather opportunistically, and optimistically, on the shelf down at Tesco. yes, as you can see, a deluxe set off of Matchbox (for Americans, a bit like Hot Wheels, but done proper) featuring a fighter jet and an aircraft carrier, endorsed by or licenced from a film what was supposed to be out in 2020, Top Gun Maverick, or simply Top Gun 2. 

rather interesting that this was stored, displayed or marketed (or what have you) in the toy section. this, to my mind, implies that it was aimed at kids. not really sure about that. for a start, the original film wasn't really made with that market in mind, and didn't take off across a younger generation, so to speak. 

my assumption, and i think this is a fair one, is that the demographic target market for any and all attempts at marketing "merch" for Top Gun 2 is pretty much me. which is to say, north of 40 years old gents who recall the original film from the 80s and for some reason wish to see a sequel to it. perhaps they have placed this in the "gifts for him" section, also known as "that will do for Dad, i guess". 

yes, certainly i was tempted by it. and then i was immediately not tempted by it, going on the price. as smart as it looked, indeed looks, it is a bloody big thing that would just sit in mine (or anyone's) house, effectively just taking up space. make no mistake, and believe you me i have ventured into such purchases before, but not to the tune of £30. well, not often. 

despite the price being a big, massive barrier to ever seriously considering purchasing this, ultimately the biggest issue, or if you like problem, is the aspect of the so-called Top Gun "expanded universe" what they have gone with for marketing. why, of all the aspects of the original film, would someone hone (or home) in on the aircraft carrier and fighter jet aspect? this was all an incredibly limited part of the actual film, and not certainly wasn't why it was either a big hit or has endured with popularity. 

mostly, it was the scene above which saw Top Gun reign supreme at the box office, and had people going to watch the film again and again. men being men in the presence of other men, with the most splendid euphemism of "fighter weapons school" being on such proud display, was what we all thought was excellent. i can sit and watch that locker room scene all day, every day, on repeat, to be sure 

and, also, yes, there was (or is) that second most important scene what saw Top Gun become the big massive hit that it was or is. 

of course, the legendary, famous and celebrated "volleyball" scene. watching it again recently revealed that it is nowhere near as homoerotic as one might remember it as being. but, or and yet, what it actually is remains the single most brazen homoerotic thing ever put in a major motion picture, it's just not as lurid as i might have recalled it as being. 

either of the above scenes - and sometimes both at the same time - are by some distance of more relevance, and remembered with a good deal of fondness, by Top Gun fans. surely it would have been wiser, and more successful, for them to have embraced this for a toy? i get that the volleyball one might have been a bit messy with sand, and the locker room one might have led to some uncomfortable conversations at Christmas dinner, but still. 

unless, of course, the new film (Top Gun Maverick 2 or whatever) does not feature either volleyball or a really smart, enthusiastic locker room scene. if so, then the mind boggles as to why they have even made it and also they probably should not bother releasing it. 

going on the above (somewhat sad) scene i saw this week, regrettably it turned out that toys based on a sequel for a film north of 30 years old what didn't end up getting released were not very big sellers over Christmas. probably because we were all locked down and that, too, and no one has any money any more. also whatever a brexit is, as that seems to get blamed for everything anyway.  

no, in answer to your question despite the discount, or reduction, applied to or on the price being slightly north of 33%, it felt like £19 was still just too much for me to buy, even in my most autopilot frame of mind. for some sort of (unsolicited) guide to how my mind works in respect of such things, if it was down to £15 it would have been "maybe" and if it was down to £12 or of course £10 it would be sat here with me right now. 

shall Top Gun 2 Maverick, or the James Bond thing for that matter, actually get a release now, in this year which is 2021? i have no idea, and so i really hope you have not read all of this just to get that as an answer. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

half the world away

heya

in truth (as i always strive for), and to be completely honest (which i sometimes am), i wasn't really aware of the fact that i had "google" location or tracking or whatever it is switched on. no doubt i pressed some button or some setting to activate it without concentrating. but it turns out that this is not an issue, look you see. far from it, as a lovely bunch of stats turned up in an email. 

some consider it creepy, immoral, wrong or just plain legally dubious that all of these "smart" devices what we have appear quite clever at monitoring us, and all that we do. certainly, often i have noticed that the subjects of conversations i have with my phone in the room mysterious leads to adverts for whatever it was that the topic related to popping up on adverts. but, google, facebook, apple and what have you have all promised that they do not use our devices for monitoring us to make more effective adverts. the lack of profit each company shows each year is surely proof of such. 

my phone pretty much (more or less) went everywhere i did, then. like the majority of people, in this day and age i feel obliged, if not compelled, to keep the device with me at all times. i suppose it is so for "just in case" reasons. also, it would be quite silly to leave something so useful sat at home. one rather unexpected element (or aspect) of this, then, is that google appears quite aware of everywhere that i have been, and did some nice summaries of it, as well as some fancy stats. 

perhaps it is so that i am simply just, well, simple, and easily pleased or amused. nothing wrong with that, if more of us were so then the world might be a better place. but, it did tickle me to see that, apparently, my combined miles for one year came to the equivalent of travelling a half way around this planet of ours. it seems like a lot, especially as i did not leave a nation or cross a border, and of course it was that year (2020) where any sort of travel was mostly frowned upon. 

as the above illustrates, then, i remained well and truly within the United Kingdom for the year that was the year 2020. specifically, i suppose, the English part of it. but, then, again, i got to within reasonable distance of the ostensible borders for Wales and Scotland, kind of. for the life of me, though, i cannot quite recall the details or specifics of my visit to the so-called "north west", named such, i think, simply as it is north west of london, rather than being all that north in (or within) England. for some reason quite a few parts of that area - in particular Manchester - seem to try and make a big deal or fuss of stating their "northern" credentials, which is fine, i guess, but they are not the "proper" north. 

not recalling any of the how, when or why i was in the north west at some stage, at least not in a definitive way, isn't that much of an issue. so peculiar and strange was last year that i even manage to forget that i spent some decent time down in that there london (innit), which is most decidedly south. 

very wise, indeed, of my phone, and them people what do the google and all that, to give such prominence off of my visits to Yorkshire. also, plus points for, out of all of them cinque port things what i went to, showcasing the wonders of Margate. 

would i, to go back (rather than forward) to an earlier point, consider myself bothered or worried in respect of just how much my devices, and them what do google and that, seem to "know" of me and much or all of what i do? not especially. as i did mention earlier, they seem to be using it to, as they say it, "tailor" ads and that for me. yeah, ok. sure, i only keep buying things like, for instance, David Bowie recordings because of an advert. absolutely true, that. as they can't advertise cigarettes, sadly for them they cannot coin it in by showing ads which would be the most successful on me. 

finally, then, the so-called (by me at least) "Greta effect" of all that lockdown business during the, and truly for want of a better term, ipso facto first invisible war effort against the new plague. extremely little driving got done for them three (3) months, then, and my walking (note the l) levels increased a good deal. undoubtedly this helped to save some dolphins, or whatever. 

right, well, that's that. i am not at all sure any of this is of all that much interest to anyone, but if so then so much the better. whereas i cannot see how one would do such, please don't use stuff in the above, or anything here really, for any malicious or naughty stuff, thanks. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more snow

hello there

one thing we have not been short of (thus far) this year (for the sake of clarity 2021), look you see, is snow. yes, i know i did a post about such a little while ago, and also that "oh, look, snow" things tend to be the bane of so-called social media things, and yet here we are. 

anyway, with one of the instances of snow we had (for there have been a couple, in truth), yes, i went right ahead and built, or constructed, or made, or smashed together, one of them snowman things. or snowperson as i think we are supposed to call them these days. except no lady would be silly enough to be out in the snow unless it was vital to do so, or seemed like fun. 

yes, of course i took a picture of it (him) in the greater glory and good of Commodore 64 mode. also some in "regular" mode. quite a few, actually. more than i could possibly find words to go around the presentation of such images here, so you have been warned, dear reader. 

how was it that i came to build a (and let us just call it such for the sake of ease, but if you wish to get all gender defendant offended go for it) snowman? it just, in all honesty and indeed in truth, kind of occurred to me to do so as i was busy outside. 

what with it being winter and such, the trees are bereft of leafs (leaves?). or, at the very least, them trees that are not "evergreens" (or whatever the correct word is) are. this appears to make them, on the whole, really rather good at catching and retaining snow. if we covered our whole planet with such trees, then, a lot less would be on the ground. 

some video of snow in a tree? i see no reason not to showcase such here. you may well of course have what you feel to be valid reasons for not, which is fine. just don't press play on it, then. 

i suspect that the above video is (probably) the first video done with my shiny, still relatively new, and way bigger than i had expected or anticipated phone. not really for me to say if the quality of footage is any different from the previous. it all gets compressed, anyhow, so as to make it sort of small and not too data heavy for anyone wishing to press play. 

right, enough, momentarily, of trees. another look, then, and sorry for the numerous commas, at the snowman what i sporadically (if not spontaneously) elected to erect, or what have you. no, or yes, in what some would call normal mode in this instance. 

my intention was not to make it (the snowman, so him) quite so evil looking as i feel has turned out to be the case. actually, i was mostly just fiddling, wondering if i could still master or muster the skills needed to build such, and by the time it came to making a rudimentary face i was pretty much of a mind to just think oh wow, did it. yes, by the way, the arms are branches (or what have you) off of a tree or bush sort of thing. indeed, it did put up some resistance, and a fight, about giving up the branches, but in the end i got the b@stards off. 

for what reason was i out in the snow? someone has to be. also, i thought it would be a good idea, if not just plain prudent and wise, to clear off our vehicles (cars and what have you) as well as the drive. oh, please, make no mistake, i have precisely zero (as in f*** all) intention or ambition to drive, but, you know, i thought (touch wood) best have them prepared and ready in case of (touch wood again) an emergency or similar. rather be ready to go out and not need to than really, really need to and having to say something like "oh bother" due to needing to clear snow and ice away first. 

there, that is one of them trees what the leafs (leaves?) does not fall off or whatever, an evergreen or something like that. it seems to do a pretty good job of catching snow, too, but not enough, alas, to keep it all off of the ground. also, i think the above picture gives a sense of how misty it was, or foggy, with visibility being somewhat reduced. 

so, having spent well north of an hour clearing vehicles and the drive, i kind of looked at the snow which had piled up, and that which laid on the lawn. for some reason it just appeared to "make sense" to have a go at making a snowman, and so i did. 

no, there was no pressure (or expectation) from either of the boys, or for that matter my (considerably) better half (at least at time of writing) to do so. as point of fact, as i did all of this, they were safely, wisely and warmly still all in bed. but yes, they were momentarily impressed and kind of interested in the snowman when they woke and i drew their attention to it. 

as it turned out, no emergency cropped up which would have required me to drive anywhere, as i had plenty of cigarettes in the house. but, it was, i feel, wise to be all set and ready to go for more in a worst case scenario. that a snowman emerged, and lived a brief life, as a consequence of this is just all win, or a big plus. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

recurring dream

heya

time, once again then, to wallow in the ways of the sentimental hygiene of nostalgia. although this, strangely, has a modern spin on it, look you see. 

it is so that i have covered what is (essentially) the same ground as i do here before, which is to say had a gander at the legendary 80s computer game what is Football Manager. for that previous look, by all means click on these words right here to be whisked away to it. or, you know, just read this. 

but, that said, whereas the link in the last bit will take you off to the wonders of the Commodore 64 version, which was, is and always shall be the best, here is (virtually) the same game in a totes different way. also on a different sort of computer. 

yes, that is a screenshot of Football Manager, or as it is for some (unknown) reason now called Football Star Manager, off of my (relatively) new mobile phone thing. sure, it looks slightly different to how it did on proper computers, but close enough. and, for those of you in a rush, the gameplay is exactly, and wonderfully, as it was. 

how did i come to get this on my phone? outside, of course, of the obvious thing of purchasing it and then downloading it. a quite rare instance of web, possibly social media (i do not recall the specifics) advertising actually working on me. leaving aside any accidental taps or clicks, a quite random guess or similar calculation, for me, would be that for every ten thousand (give or take) bits of advertising i am presented with on the internet, it's a miracle if i click on as many as one. but, when i saw the familiar face of Kevin Toms (more on that later) flicker up, i was immediately interested. so much so that i clicked, looked, liked what i saw, and bought. 

does internet advertising work? yes, kind of. in this instance, it just made me aware of something that i would have bought as soon as i knew of it. so, the advert did not make me buy it as such, just alerted me to the fact that i could. rather like when i get mails or other such (similar) notifications that the David Bowie Estate has made available another thing to buy. it is not like i need all that much persuading or coercion to hand over any amount of money which takes their fancy to request. 

so, the game itself. yes, as you can see in the above (and if you recall the original), it stays faithful to the original game in many respects. divisions are made up of just 16 (sixteen) teams, and you only play each side once, no home and away nonsense. further, and also yes, as you can work out in the above, it is not so much that i am a master of the game (well, i am), but it is perfectly possible to set the skill level really, really low and win every single match. which strangely does not make the game any less fun at all. at least not for moi. 

for a bit of nostalgia (or history, if you are not, like me, an increasingly doddering, dithering old f*** and didn't happen to be there "at the time"), it was so that Football Manager was one of them "rites of passage" games, expected to be owned when you got your first (or second) computer (or even third). owners of the greatest computer ever, the Commodore 64 (of course) were expected to have this, Impossible Mission and Bruce Lee. with the latter being a pirate copy taped off of a mate's pirate copy, as the original never ever appeared available for sale anywhere. 

one particularly unusual aspect of this computer game is that the bloke what made (or programmed) (or designed, since that is what it says on the box) the game had his picture on the cover. this was not the norm. actually, unfairly, it wasn't really standard for the game developers names to be so prominent. a chosen few were, mind. if you picked up, for instance, an Activision game and it said it was off of David Crane, you knew it would be ace. similar, other names came to be known, such as Tony Crowther and Jeff Minter. 

right, the game. how does it differ from the Commodore 64 version? for starters, it loads somewhat faster. and by somewhat i do indeed mean considerably. infamously the tape of the game took a neat, round twenty (20) minutes (not a typo) to load up. this mobile phone version sees you press the icon and boom, off you go. further, or also, and this one is a massive plus - you can save your game on this new version of it. as i remember, you could not on the Commodore 64 one (at least not on the tape version), but this might have been a feature of Football Manager 2, which i played somewhere along the line but do not remember ever owning. whereas it was kind of nice always starting from scratch, this works out all the more better. 

if you clicked on my initial link above too, i can very happily confirm that it is not possible for your brother to completely knack your hard work by just leaving someone pressing the space bar down, whizzing through all options and eventually leaving you playing games with only 2 or 3 players in your team. this was a flaw that one suspects Kevin Toms never contemplated, but all the same has addressed it. nice one, squire. 

any real negatives to the game? well, yes, one major one. when it comes to each match, you can select to just skip it, watch the "new" style (pictured above, earlier) or watch them in "retro" mode. of course i clicked on retro, expecting (presuming) to see them classic, chunky Commodore 64 players in action. that is not what happened. 

my friends, what you think you are seeing is indeed what you are seeing. yes, sadly, retro mode takes you to the world of the ZX Spectrum, where graphics or whatever all had to be just one colour. quite a shame, and a missed opportunity. perhaps there will be some "update" or other such "patch" to fix this issue, i don't know. would be nice. 

with respect to the game itself, by modern standards it is amazingly simplistic, but back then it was totally amazing how much you could do. management of a football team involves buying and selling players (you can do one of each a week), selecting the side, taking a loan if needed, and that's it. as time has gone by, football manager games have become exhaustively complex. which is good for those who like the strategy side of it, but bad for we, the people like i, who just want some simple and straightforward fun. 

let me assure you, as per the original release company name states, this is well and truly addictive. i have found myself fiddling with this long after bedtime, saying "go on, just one more match, then". only now when i do that i do not have Mum knacking us for not going to bed on time on school nights. there are some benefits to being (ostensibly) grown up.  

one extra added to the game, and a very welcome one, is the presence of the European Cup. this is in addition to the league (of course) and the "cup" regular, which is presumed to be but not explicitly stated as being the FA one. so far i have won the European Cup a few times, and yes, i can qualify that by saying i do indeed leave it on the lowest skill level. 

something what is even more excellent about this new version of Football Manager is the price. this game, at least for my phone and at time of writing, costs a mere one solitary penny south of £5. most agreeable indeed, especially as this is considerably south of what the tape for the Commodore 64 cost.

do i recommend or suggest, or endorse, investing in this new Football Manager game? it most certainly has my blessing, for what that is worth. since i have borrowed some pics to comment on it (fairly, i do believe), here are some links to go get it - 

Kevin Toms on that there Facebook can be found by clicking here. 

Kevin Toms official site, linking to this game and more, is found via clicking here. 

certainly not for the first time and (probably) not for the last i am not so sure i have "done" a review, of sorts, properly. but, if there is some decent, or useful, sort of information or insights in the above, nice one. 

right, off i go to probably play the game some more. but in conclusion, yes, it is a faithful adaptation of the original, and that is a very good thing indeed. for me, at the least, and for you if you were also a fan of this tremendous, groundbreaking (at the time) game. 

now, if only someone would make it so that you could have the Bruce Lee or (maybe even better) the Frankie Goes To Hollywood game on my phone, and then maybe i might not ever sleep again, or only when the battery on it goes flat. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

one i never got around to renting

hi there

it would be fairly, if not momentarily, easy to let this post get sidetracked. well, not that i have a sterling track record for keeping on whatever subject, look you see, but still. my wish here is to just look at one film what i never rented but often considered doing so, but sorry in advance if it gets all sidetracked every now and then. 

my assumption (or presumption) is that i am not quite alone with this. for those of us alive and well in the era of video shop rentals - and many of us were there to see it start, rise, diminish and disappear (almost) - it is probable that there was always that one tape not rented. sure, there were lots of films in a video store not rented by every customer, but i mean that one film that you always considered but never committed to. and so never saw, at least not necessarily on a rental tape. 

fair use, i think

for me that one film was something called Hangar 18. it was a video cover that looked interesting mostly because it didn't have much to it, and was forever sat on the second from bottom shelf of one rack, seldom seeming to be selected. 

once or twice, i can remember, i picked up the box and gave quite serious consideration to renting. but, as outlined above, i never did get around to committing time or cash to doing so. from what i can remember it was a fairly cheap tape to have rented too, since it was neither a new film nor a "classic" in demand. how much, exactly? as i remember it, some tapes were available for 50p or £1 for the night, and this one was likely in the southern region of price. 

why did i not ever get around to renting? i am not sure, to be honest. this was all pre X Files and similar, and there really wasn't a whole lot of stuff or interest circulating about things such as Roswell and Area 51 in the north of England. science fiction, mostly, was all limited to, or expected to be Star Wars, or the superior Battle Beyond The Stars, and of course the proper, should have remained only, 70s original version of Battlestar Galactica, of which i would consider myself a "proper fan" even if there are one or two people out there who say that i am not. f*** them, really. 

so, how, exactly (or precisely), did i end up seeing this film? it is safe, and fair, to say that the video place where i would have rented it off of has long since gone. and no, no sense of nostalgia struck me to seek out the video, or disc, of it online. or even one of them infamous "downloads". rather simply, it turned up on the tele one afternoon, over the festive season (Christmas), and so i thought yeah, why not have a look at it.

and what do i think of the film (Hangar 18), now that i (kind of) watched it? it was all right, as it happens. one of "those" types of films which have a "repeat viewing possible" sense to them, whilst why that is so resides in the category of inexplicable. mostly because of the familiar cast, i guess. other than the well known Robert Vaughan, just about everyone in the film makes you say "oh i know him (and sometimes her), it's that one out of that other film". you know what i am talking about. 

having no real idea what to expect of the film, other than it being some sort of alien thing being stored in some sort of military base, i was rather foolishly taken by surprise that it was a "conspiracy theory" or hide the truth sort of film. to this end, the plot themes (if not direct action, of course) appears to borrow heavily, or "be inspired" by, Capricorn One. actually, a double bill of that film and this film would be one excellent lazy afternoon. 

so how is it, for clarity of provenance, that i eventually (or "finally") got to see this film? i was just browsing through the television guide and noted that Talking Pictures TV (here you go link fans) were about to start showing it one afternoon, so figured why not. and why not. 

yes, indeed, even by 79 - 80 standard, the special effects and alien spaceship designs were somewhat lacking and rather cheap. i think back then, without cheap computer gimmicks to use, they were kind of forced, or felt compelled, to make sure they had a decent story which was interesting to follow, acting as sort of quasi compensation for a lack of visuals. 

do i regret not seeing Hangar 18 somewhat sooner? not particularly. whereas i enjoyed it, and it was fun to finally see, i suspect i might have felt rather disappointed paying to watch what is essential a television movie (or made for tv film). making it rather apt that i did indeed just wait, albeit not deliberately so, for it to turn up on the tele. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

get your hands off my counter you tourist filth

aloha ma laila

it is so that the majority of people who have ever lived in the last two hundred or so years (whether now presently alive, or since deceased, look you see) associate the date on which this was published, it being 20 January, with the arrival, or if you like landing, of Captain James Cook in Hawaii. his arrival, in 1778 no less, was at Waimea on an island of Hawaii known as Kauai, fact fans. given consideration to how this is the first (documented) instance of what is known called a European landing in the place, it feels quite right to mark the anniversary with a post.

well, ok, yes, sometimes it is so that this particular date (the twentieth of January) is known as "inauguration day" in the USA. but that is conditional on elections, a non-incumbent person being elected (or manipulated) as president, if it is a Sunday and so on. a right headache, it is, to work out if any particular year has an inauguration day, so it is best to just leave it aside as it isn't all that important a thing anyway. 

besides, no inauguration day has had the long term influence or consequence what James Cook touring Hawaii has had. probably, at least, i have not read up much on it, but my understanding of the modern world is that assumption and opinion reign supreme. things like surfing, and that smart Theme From Hawaii Five-O (but not the show, that was quite dull), probably would not exist were it not for Cook going to Hawaii, and no US President has ever created (directly or indirectly) anything as cool as them. 

how, exactly, did James Cook's trip (or sojourn) to Hawaii work out, or go? as in, what happened? this is probably something i should have read up on before writing this, but did not do so. but i would like to think a good deal of it served as, in many respects, inspiration for some key moments in A Fistful Of Traveller's Cheques. 

for those of you who don't know, or are unaware, A Fistful Of Traveller's Cheques is the third best thing ever to be done by Comic Strip Presents, with the first two of course being Bad News and the most excellent film The Supergrass. quite interchangeable, it is, which is the absolute best of the three, but then i suppose i shall forever and always love Bad News above much in this life, or presumably the next. 

no, it probably isn't likely that James Cook turned up in Hawaii dressed like Lee Van Cleef. also, i would be surprised to learn of it being so that when Cook landed there was such a thing as hotels, and that one of them would have been called Hotel Bastardos, as that does not sound particularly Hawaiian. not that i am too familiar with how they speak. 

did the people of Waimea, acting as they were in the role of impromptu ambassadors for the whole place, welcome James Cook and his crew? the latter element (the crew) presumably being there, since i suspect one chap could not have sailed one of them big ships all alone. but maybe he did, for all i know, as i declined to read up on it all prior to writing. 

i would like to think that the welcome he (they) got was not quite so rough and inhospitable as the below video (yes, we've got a video). and yet also, with my view being that the whole episode somehow influenced A Fistful Of Traveller's Cheques, i suppose it would have to be along these lines for my theory to be correct. or however that should be worded. 

that is a scene which has not ceased to amuse me over two centuries across a number of decades. blimey, wow, i am old, where did time drift to. no idea why this is so, it has just always appealed to my sense of humour, i guess. 

so much so, as point of fact, that i have longed wished to use the term "Tourist Filth" as the name for one thing or another. probably a band, at some stage, as that would be a really cool name for a band. back when music was decent, of course, but still. with no music ability at all, i could not form a group myself, but i am pretty sure that i used the name (Tourist Filth) for a pretend band in the game Rock Star Ate My Hamster on the Commodore 64.

on the whole, i would consider it improbable, yet remarkable, if for some reason in Hawaii James Cook was greeted by a quasi mock Spaniard, brandishing a hammer, wearing mirror sunglasses and a string vest. perhaps they should just say that actually, yes, it did happen like that, so as to make history far more interesting. well, no, history is interesting. appealing was the word i was looking for. 

have i any ambition or desire to visit Hawaii? well, any time in my life (thus far) what has seen me kind of follow the path what James Cook had been on before (rather than after) has worked out very well indeed, in truth. so, i have nothing against doing so. but, if what was presented to me (improbably) was a straight choice between Hawaii or staying at Hotel Bastardos, then the latter would very comfortably win. 

right, that's that, then. whatever it is you decide to do to celebrate the anniversary of Captain James Cook arriving (kind of) in Hawaii (or inauguration day, should you insist or be American), i hope it all goes very well indeed. 

maikaʻi loa kekahi i kekahi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

while i looked around for my possibilities

heya

it was so that, a little while ago, we had some snow, look you see. this is, i confess, neither extraordinary or out of the ordinary, in particular not for this stage (or, if you will, time) of the year. but, still, some of you seem to quite like to see this sort of thing. no, not that sort of thing, mucky types, i mean variations of scenes of snow. 

for those who like to observe, or keep note of such things, the below images and videos (yes, we have got a video. or two) represent the final "new" ones taken with my old camera. a post is due to appear later in the year which relies on such taken with it, but still. 

rest assured, Commodore 64 fans. yes, it is (most decidedly) so that the "new" phone what i have, for one cannot see one progressing too far without such a device in the modern world, does indeed allow for images and them "GIF" things to be taken in this most delightful of formats. 

a good deal, or partial amount, of the above seems to represent the duality of reality of having some snow, then. yes, it does look all picturesque and lovely and so forth, but also it serves to make everything rather wet. your attention is drawn, if you have not noticed already, to the rather muddy area which surrounds that perfectly serviceable table and benches, or seating area. 

so, yes, the new phone. it was during the taking of these pictures (and video) that a decision was finally, inevitably made. after a period of it (the old phone) playing up a bit, i was giving getting a new one some consideration. mostly the issue was the battery, which had started dropping faster than a classical or traditional English cricket batting line up. despite assurances that the "charge" on the battery was at 100% (or just slightly south) when i took any image (or video) shown here, after taking such, the phone elected to switch off, claiming the battery was devoid of charge. 

yes, it did allow me to switch it back on and take further (like, for instance, the "animated GIF" thing in Commodore 64 mode below), only for the cycle of switching off to repeat. this was nowhere near as much fun as you might thing, and so a new one was procured. 

let me not bore you with details, or specifics, or even fragments, of the new phone then. i would have no wish to cloud or influence any decision you may make on any similar such device you wish to purchase. the market for phones is competitive, saturated and ferocious. my view, or "opinion" if we have retained the right to hold such, is that the absolute best phone in the world is the one which does all that you would have it do. 

but, that said, yes, a major requirement for me is cost. as in £ or $ or even € and of course ¥ for nihon no tomodachi, assuming they have use for such devices. which is likely. i am happy, no, delighted, to confirm that whereas i was (reluctantly) prepared to pay (really slightly) north of £100 for a new phone, as it turned out i secured the procurement of such for south of that. win. 

for some reason, though, i would suspect (or imagine) that anyone reading this right now would be rather less interested in any phone business i have done, more so in snow or winter type images. 

indeed the above is a minor, and modest, waterfall, presented for viewing pleasure in the greater glory of Commodore 64 mode. no, it was not so that the prevailing seasonal weather conditions had caused the stream section of this river to "freeze over" as such. from what i recall, it is much more of an American phenomenon to see this happen to a body of water. 

whereas a picture of a waterfall can be something pleasant to gaze upon, it of course does not quite capture the essence, or being, of such. not even in Commodore 54 mode, surprisingly. a nice bit of video, then, to all the more better illustrate the wonders of the waterfall. even if it is just a modest one.

oh yes, i did indeed have to stand rather carefully as i filmed the above, due to the damp, moist, wet and rather slippery ground conditions. to the disappointment of some, i suppose, but no doubt to the satisfaction of others, it was so that i did not fall, or slip, or get too unsteady. not that the video above is a great example of steady camera work. 

more details on my new(ish) phone? very well, if you insist. other than the pricing, it is also off of a brand which i have come to like, which was nice. the two previous phones off of them served me exceedingly well, outlasting the presumed average lifespan of two years. it does appear to have become a trifle difficult, all of a sudden, to procure this brand, for some reason. strange, and seems to happen when i take a shine to a phone, such as what happened with that Blueberry one. 

a waterfall must, or at the least would usually, see the water carried (flowed) move somewhere. in this instance, yes, towards a stream (actually beck, but for ease of reference), and indeed here is a picture of the destination. 

but no, not in the greater good or glory of Commodore 64 mode. by this stage my now referred to as old phone had switched itself off some four or five times, and the novelty factor of such had really, really grown to be quite tiresome. so, i opted to just do "regular" things with images, which is point and click and move on, rather than engage in the subtle intricacies required by Commodore 64 mode. 

quite so, yes, i did indeed need to stand quite steadfast and carefully to take the above image, for a slip into the waters was a significant risk. whilst doing so, it was entirely possible to take a few seconds of video for anyone interested in such. 

enthusiasts of videos should note, or be aware, that the above is the last video clip to feature in this post. and, as a consequence i guess, also that it is the last bit of video done with the old phone. 

should it be that my geography, or general sense of placement, has not failed me (often it does), it is not the case that this stream, or beck, flows into a river which directly flows in an eastern direction. at the very least, not overtly. my understanding is that such things as rivers, seas and what have you are all quite natural phenomenon and thus excluded, but one would not at all be surprised to see them French try and block the (obviously superior) waters of the UK flowing from our east coast towards their suspiciously better blocked than their east ever was western border. perhaps they will demand, and undoubtedly from jealousy, malice and spite this is born, that any such waters must produce requisite paperwork before it is allowed to touch their inferior lands. 

to sort of (kind of) bookend these images (since video is no more), then, some further not specifically featuring water in terms of bodies of water images then. snow is, i think you will find, some variation on "water", as in i think it is water based in structure. or whatever it is what rain is off of. 

it is not so that i have ever considered myself to be a "photographer" as such, nor do i profess any great skill at it. but, i quite like how that one has come out. not that it was planned as such, i simply tried to take an image in such a way that not too many other people were in it, although some strayed in at the side there. 

any major issues or flaws with my new phone? well, it is quite large. massive, in truth, to be sure. big, it is. this is something i should have been aware of prior to purchasing, and yes that information was available. i just glanced as the "specs" and said yeah, that sounds all right, without really stopping to consider just how many inches (stop your childish saucy giggles you filthy lot) it was in terms of shape (stop it) and indeed size. no doubt i shall just get used to it, if i am not already. but yes, quite strange fiddling with something so massive in my hand. 

one last image for this post, then, showcasing how the clouds what brought the snow had effectively placed a blanket (or screen) blocking the scenery. also, seagulls. yes, there they are on the roofing, either just watching the pleasant, picturesque scene, or waiting to pounce on some food. 

well, anyway, that's about that really. i think i have said all that i can on the subject of this brief flurry of snow, and padded it out with some other stuff. hopefully one or two of the pictures, or videos, were pleasing or interesting. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

notes on speculative pension portfolio diversification

greetings

just another informal (yet informative, i trust) look at my provisional retirement (fiscal) plans, look you see. whereas i claim no expertise in this particular subject (or any), no doubt some shall have in place quite similar plans to me. others, of course, will wish to see what i am doing in regards of such arrangements, so that they know it is the wrong thing to do and do something else instead. 

my preferred form of pension (or provident fund, whichever it most closely resembles) fund is that one which goes by the name of "national lottery". the reasons for investing in this particular one are as simple as they are straightforward. costs for entering are somewhat minimal, the roi (that's return on investment) rate is frankly staggering and, if your policy number happens to be "drawn", you can pretty much retire almost immediately. why would one not trust their future financial safety to such?

recently i have, somewhat unexpectedly, been lured into diversifying my investment in this particular scheme. usually i have remained an investor (of sorts) in the classical variation of this "lottery" pension fund. for fairly obvious reasons i have been reluctant to invest in the so-called "euro millions" scheme, with easily the most overt of those obvious reasons being that it costs more. however, their recent proposal - that of a £181 million (181,000,000 one pound coins, for clarity) - was quite the irresistible investment opportunity. 

sadly, and i can only assume to presume this was a colossal clusterf**k of an administrative error, it turned out that they went and gave my pension payout (all one hundred and eighty one million pound coins of money) in its entirety to, and i can scarcely believe i am typing this, a Frenchie. off of France. goodness knows what sort of trivial things they shall waste my old age nest egg on, but i suppose i should say that i hope they enjoy it. 

by means of some sort of perverse sense of balanced compensation, the administrators of the euro millions pension fund did determine that my policy number(s) did entitle me to a part pension payment. the amount which this came to (and let us not lose sight of my initial investment being £2.50) was somewhere around £3.70, or if you like one hundred and eighty million nine hundred and ninety thousand nine hundred and ninety six (ish) pound coins south of the amount i had in good faith reasonably expected to be getting. oh. 

having no real sense of idea or clue as to what to do with this partial pension (i did call a broker, and a financial advisory service, but in both instances i was told to f*** off when i revealed the amount i was wondering what to do with), i made an impulsive and immediate investment decision at the shop. that is, of course, the scratch card pension membership, or "scratchie", which you can see above. 

your attention is drawn, in the first instance, to the pension liability waiver which is published on the reverse of the "scratchie". a side, true, that is seldom studied by investors. they do not hide the fact of how this retirement annuity is very little else but a gamble. well, all investments are, to some extent. by undertaking to enter this pension fund system, you are by default acknowledging that you accept there is only something of a 20% chance of securing any sort of later life income. from what i recall, this is around about the same kind of odds what the gay robot told the illegal people smuggler he had of surviving an asteroid field or something in that Star Wars film. no, the other one. 

a question that some of you will have (no doubt) would of course pertain to whether or not i stayed true and loyal to the manner and means by which one "does" a "scratchie", or indeed "scratchy" if that is your preference for spelling. regrettably, no. for those of you less informed in the social mannerisms of this, it is quite often the case that people what buy these pension fund schemes, often in multiple numbers, do not hesitate to stand at the very till where they purchased them and scratch away. they shall do so no matter how large a queue waits for service behind them, for they either do not care or as point of fact appreciate that they might be unwitting spectators to seeing someone "win" a pension. 

others are, of course more (or less, depending on your perspective) considerate. rather than stand at the till to scratch and block the administration of service, they will instead take just a few steps and commence the ceremonial scratching of the "scratchie" in the shop doorway. this serves a strange double purpose, as it equally blocks people from entering the premises just as it prevents other patrons from leaving. i opted not to do this, either, at all. 

perhaps my reluctance to do the "scratchie" in a way which would cause maximum disruption or at the least a bit of a delay to others put a kind of jinx or curse on me, then. that, to me, would be a perfectly reasonable way to explain why this particular pension fund investment failed. and failed it did, but not miserably. for some reason your pension card is (or was) required to reflect three equal amounts of the value of the pension, whereas mine was 33% short of this optimal target. this i discovered quite some time after investment, at home, when i remembered that i had this policy and took a coin to it. 

will i be dabbling, or diversifying, into this "scratchie" pension scheme again in the future? no. well, not immediately, at least as far as i have any plans. the things just hold little appeal, if any, for me. others, i appreciate, appear to invest in them to the point of addiction. perhaps they should not, but how someone else arranges their pension funding is precisely none of my business. 

there are some of you (and i like to regard you as the more elegant percentage of readers) who are wondering what, exactly happened to the remainder of my provisional pension payout. as the image presented of the "scratchie", in the greater good of Commodore 64 mode, is only a £1 one, what became of the balance of the funds received? 

it was most decidedly so that a lack of imagination momentarily struck me, so i just requested yet one more pension policy off of the "euro millions". rather than waste time curating and selecting my own numbers for this one, i merely requested the "lucky dip" form of portfolio. 

has this pension policy been any more, or as usual less, successful than previous ones? momentarily the matter is very much all that schrödinger's cat thing, for at the time of writing it is not so that the pension fund administrators have "drawn" the numbers in correlation to fund membership numbers. 

generally i have noted (or observed) that any such instance of referencing this form of pension provision incentive is accompanied by a warning along the lines of stating that winners know when to quit, and also that when the fun stops one should stop. i am unsure such a requirements exists for this, but one could not describe my doubt for such as steadfast, so there you go.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!