a couple of books

hello reader


and so i've done a spot more reading. some of it proper, to be sure, whereas some of it has been on that ereader thing, look you see. fear not, clarification shall be forthcoming on that.

my usual thing would be to give you a picture of the covers, a brief overview of them in a spoiler free way and then go into slightly greater detail. there is no good reason for me not to pursue this approach here, so that is what i, or if you like we, shall now do, then.

in starting where i did with the above, Snap by Belinda Bauer is a highly engaging read as you go along, but ultimately feels less than satisfactory when completed. The Reckoning by John Grisham is, improbably, the third novel off of him what i have read this year, with 66% of the reading being on the ereader. whereas it is much better than the last one, The Rooster Bar, note that it is a (reasonably good) departure from his usual legal thrillers.

right, or indeed righty-ho, for all else below one of them *** POTENTIAL SPOILER WARNING *** this is well and truly in place, or all your own. whilst i will do my best not to give too much away, chances are some information beyond the back of the book cover may be mentioned. do read on with caution, then, but for those eager to depart now, i would have no quarrel suggesting either as a good read.

i bought Snap by Belinda Bauer purely on the strength of how much i thoroughly enjoyed the one of hers i read earlier in the year, Blacklands. that was really good, it was, and so i pledged to read further works.

provenance of my copy? i am almost certain it was off of Tesco, with their "revised" book of the week deal. which meant it cost me either £3 or £3.50. it is entirely possible that i paid their maxed out £4 or £4.50 price, though, so keen was i.

the plot? a pregnant young(ish) mother is taking her children somewhere when the car breaks down. she instructs the children to wait in the car as she goes to summon help. but, she never returns, and we are not immediately aware of where she has gone or got too........

 let me leave that at the premise, then. kind of. what follows is how the family left behind copes, what happens to them, and of course piecing together (and revealing the truth) of what actually happened. to this end, it is as mentioned a thoroughly enjoyable read, with many of the twists and turns screaming out "please adapt me, BBC or ITV, it would be compelling viewing".

as was the case with Blacklands, what lies at the heart of Snap is not so much the mystery of the plot but the emotional engagement with how children deal, cope or manage the unspeakable horrors us adults are supposed to shelter and protect them from. it just all didn't feel quite so affecting this time around, however. perhaps that's because "a couple" of the children are not so well developed, maybe it's because there is not quite the real sense of longing just to be held and loved as was present in the previous one.

it feels like i have really rather short changed you somewhat, even though this blog is free (not even adverts on it, please not), with the brief notes above. but, as at heart i would say yes, this is a good read, i truly am reluctant to say too much more.

onwards, then, to the nefarious evils of the erader, and The Reckoning by John Grisham. 

provenance of my copy? internet, alas. to qualify or justify this, i have been spending a fair bit of time on the road, on my travels, and in hotels. when i can avoid it i never take an actual book with me, for fear of losing or misplacing it. yes, an ereader would be somewhat more expensive to replace, but still. one simply does not make an emotional bond or connection with an ereader.

anyway, plot? a decorated and celebrated war (second world war) veteran walks into a church and shoots a minister. he speaks no words of his crime, and simply goes to jail, and then trial, to face the consequences. his family, one of a dislocated and disjointed nature, are as mystified by it all as everyone else......

should you be a fan of Grisham's writing and story telling style then you will most decidedly "enjoy" this, despite the fact that it mostly strays away from overtly legal matters. there are lawyers and there is a court case, to be sure, but it is all just as straightforward as the above outline. what you mostly get is the societal side of the story, perhaps not too different from elements of the superb Ford County Stories collection, and a dominating chunk of the book is given over to the horrors American servicemen faced in Japan, when their own government effectively abandoned them to it.

it is very rare for me to read an Author's Note in a book. should the message that is wished to be shared not be clear in the book itself, well then the book has failed. in this instance, however, i was intrigued as to what prompted Grisham to shed light on an aspect of history that's been kept in the dark. alas, no mention of that, just a look back at what inspired the "main" story. maybe he just took it as a given that illustrating how the American government has always been willing to turn its back on its own people, to leave them at the mercy of the world, would speak for itself.

to say i "enjoyed" the novel feels horribly wrong, for it is tortuous, disturbing and unsettling to read of the barbaric ways the Japanese treated American prisoners of war. but, in truth, this was a mighty fine novel. also, a relief. after the breezy, whimsical ways of Camino Island and the poor Rooster Bar, i had feared we were in for another lean spell of dull Grisham novels. well back on form here, then.

no, indeed, neither of these novels are contenders for my much coveted, celebrated "book of the year" selection. it should be said, though, that i have no regrets about reading them. should chance permit, and you have an interest, and my views are worth much of anything, then yes, indeed, either or both are recommended reads.

well, that's that. as ever, hopefully this has been of some use or interest to someone out there somewhere!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

duncan of dudley

now then


to the casual, non-discerning browser of all things internet, it would strike me, look you see that someone might think it is the case that i have set (as my life's work) the task of visiting each and every statue in the world which pertains, or has relevance to, that most impressive corporate organisation which is known in passing as Manchester United. whereas i would argue this is not the case, certain posts and the subsequent evidence provided thereof challenges my argument somewhat. as it is with this particular post.

my travels - partially in pursuit of finding what happened to all them speedboats what got given away as prizes on Bullseye to them deft with darts - have or had recently taken me to a rather fondly regarded hamlet called Dudley, pronounced "Dudley". this caused a considerable degree of joy, not to mention much merriment, for my Dad, as he was, from several thousand miles away, able to instruct (and indeed direct) me to the location of a particular statue in this fine, cosmopolitan metropolis.

i agreed, or if you will consented, to such instruction and direction, knowing full well that i would be unlikely to experience peace until such a task had been undertaken and completed to his satisfaction. there would, to my mind, be absolutely neither barrier to nor cause for me not to share aspects of this quest here. should i be mistaken in this regard, please then disregard all of this entire, thanks.

yes, quite, indeed. of the many statues of Dudley (for a start, they have an inexplicable fixation on Pegasus that i mean to research more), it is the one of Duncan Edwards that i was tasked or otherwise assigned to visit, to inspect and to record images of.

many a fan of football in general, but the England national team and Manchester United in particular, will know of Duncan Edwards. for those unaware, he was one of the several who died in the Munich air disaster of 1958. whilst all life lost that day was sad, it is Duncan Edwards who is most frequently held up as a statement of just how tragic the incident was. had he not been taken away at far too young an age, the belief, and all evidence of how he played, is that today he would have been spoken of a good deal more, and spoken of in the same sentences as Pele, George Best and a number of others who have graced the game. which is to say the very best of the best.

with the above in mind, it is surely little or no surprise that Dudley are proud that he is a son of their fair area of the world. and, as my Dad has a fondness for football and was deeply upset by the Munich air disaster, it really was no trouble at all for me to go and observe this magnificent statue, and indeed pay my respects.

true, on a superficial level taking or otherwise making a video of a statue would appear to make little sense. by definition, if nothing else, a statue would not strictly speaking make any movement or take any such actions that the capture of motion would be required for. well, except in that Doctor Who thing, but still. my idea, however, was to try and give one of them sort of "360" views of the statue of Duncan Edwards in Dudley, for them what are interested. and i would assume that this means you, if you are still reading.

any interesting stories to speak of or other such tales to tell about getting these images and the video? oh, yes. a colleague, or if you will contemporary of mine, very kindly drove me to the spot where one can find the statue. finding a suitable place to stop near it was relatively straightforward, due to the immense passion and pride the people of Dudley would appear to have in regards of traffic accidents and incidents. one such episode happened just a few cars down from us. thus, i was able to hop out of the vehicle, take video and pictures, and then rush to get back into the very same vehicle prior to the constabulary ordering us, along with a good mile or so of other vehicles, to reverse the incorrect way along a one way street, then divert down a street designated as being for buses, taxis and so forth only.

now let us address any unsavoury accusations some of you may have. for most of last year i was dogged - plagued, in truth - with suggestions that i was not a "proper fan" of Intergalactic by the Beastie Boys. i am keen to avoid any such nonsense again. but still, there are some who will suggest that the above is all fraudulent, a flight of fantasy - at least insofar as my presence and involvement is concerned. very well.

there you have it, to be sure. one of them "selfie" things, featuring me, or moi, as a selfie is by definition is required to do, stood before or otherwise adjacent to this magnificent statue. oh, i have no doubt certain people out there will still have no belief that i was there; all i can do is simply state oh yes, but i was.

hopefully this has been of interest, use perhaps, to those who cannot visit this statue themselves. or maybe it has alerted one or two to the fact that it does exist, and so they may plan a visit to Dudley too.

would it be my intention to visit any further statues erected in celebration of key figures in the monumental corporate success of Manchester United? not immediately, but you never know. if, for example, they put up a statue celebrating Roy "Boom Boom" Keane, i would be there. and, surely, if they did similar for that moment when (ooh aah) Cantona kung fu kicked that one fan in the head. but, beyond that, i shall probably refrain from such, unless my Dad instructs me otherwise.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

more tales from the future

hello


and so once again, as in not for the first time, look you see, i put my apparently immortal soul in the greatest, perhaps most gravest, of danger for your entertainment. yes, indeed, i have once again crossed the line, i have dabbled in the dark arts, i have sought the forbidden knowledge. despite warnings not to do so, i have once again held summit with the ways of the magic 8 ball.

many of you will be quite surprised, and disappointed i suppose, that i am actually still alive after my first experimentation with the device of power. as recorded here in this post, it was a thrilling and dangerous experience, but also quite a draining one. sufficient time, i believe, has passed, and since i am recovered i have elected to dabble once more.

perhaps this is caution which need not be spoken, but for the sake of liability you are of course advised not to tread upon this path yourself. it is a road assailed by fear and danger. even i, who is according to science immortal (i have not died, so science cannot prove i am not immortal), face uncertain complexities in my simplistic existence by conjuring up answers to those questions which should not have been spoken.

moving on, then, and in the spirit of Christmas, i have elected to ask of the 8 Ball to share with us answers to questions posed by music. brace yourself, and read on only if you feel your soul shall not be in danger by knowing all that should not be known.

is there life on Mars?
LOOKS LIKE YES

should i stay or should i go?
SO IT SHALL BE

will i ever find what i am looking for?
UNLIKELY

can't you always get what you want?
NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

are there 50 ways to leave your lover?
ANSWER UNCLEAR ASK LATER

does everybody hurt, sometimes?
THE STARS SAY NO (yes, i was surprised by that answer too)

will you still love me tomorrow?
CANNOT FORETELL NOW

the times, are they a-changin'?
FOCUS AND ASK AGAIN

yes, looking at the last few answers, i think the warnings are there that i have drained all the energy from this most potent and powerful of devices. most probably all world leaders have such a means at their disposal to plot course for the world.

what? you want more. very well, i shall indulge. by this stage i am pretty much damned anyway, so asking two further questions surely shall not make me any further damned.

is this the real life, is this just fantasy?
CONSULT ME LATER

we don't need another hero?
SO IT SHALL BE

right, that will do. it would be inappropriate to challenge the magic 8 ball to answer any further questions when clearly it has no wish to do so at this stage.

as ever, i can but trust my valiant efforts here have been of some use, or interest, to someone.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

variations

hi there


well, surprise surprise. my good name, character and reputation, look you see, have been called in to question yet again, all due to a simple observation made on this blog.

a little while ago i made the remark (in passing) that each and every year Poundland take the trouble to sell us, the people, a CD of recordings of The King, Elvis Presley that are of a Christmas theme or nature. one aspect of these observations was that each and every year it is a different disc, but with the same songs on, just in a slightly different order.

nothing but abuse has greeted this aside. for some it is the case that i am being silly, if not preposterous, to believe that Poundland would go to such extravagance and such expense to do this. others have simply questioned the logic, saying surely the tracks are different, otherwise Poundland are just trying to sell people the same record again and again, hoping that slight aesthetic changes will conceal the truth.

i really would have thought that, by now, the people who do such things would have either clocked that i (quite rarely) say things that i cannot back up, or otherwise have moved on in the direction of other, equally soft targets. but, no.

to try and appease those what for some reason do not believe that Poundland simply sell the same 12 Christmas related recordings by The King, Elvis Presley in different packaging and a slightly different order each year, here you go. below is an image of the 2018 incarnation (red), long with the 2016 edition (white). for some reason i would appear not to have the 2017 variation to hand; perhaps i posted it to someone, or simply did not purchase it.

yes, it is quite probably the case that i didn't really need to purchase this most latest of editions, but also i did. it is, after all, a recording of The King, Elvis Presley, and one can never ever have too many copies of His works. also, i like to ensure that a market exists. should i stop buying them, then perhaps they would take a marketing decision and stop selling them, which would make the world a much poorer place.

so then, there you have it. if you happen to inhabit the British Isles, what can i say but safe journey to Poundland so that you may purchase your own copy of this most splendid disc. or, i would presume, any of the most smart Christmas CDs they have on the go for £1 a time.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

december's children (and everybody's)

hi there


most profound apologies, look you see, for anyone who has hit upon this via one of them internet searches and (not unreasonably) expected to find something about a rather renowned and celebrated album off of The Rolling Stones. this is all, to be sure, just another glimpse at what certain calendars of mine are showing for the month.

and the final, or if you like last, month of the year that is, was, 2018. one would suppose that my thoughts should now gravitate towards which calendar(s) i will get for next year. undoubtedly it, or they, shall be the cheapest what i can find, but for now let us cast a gaze upon what is in the here and now.

from the kitchen, then, we have the December offering off of the Winnie The Pooh calendar. as you can see, quite clearly in the beauty of Commodore 64 mode, it features all them characters (or most of them) off of that "expanded universe" in quite traditional Christmas fare.

once again, then, it is very northern hemisphere centric, presenting Christmas as a time of cold, snow and what have you. this has always struck me as being rather unfair on our friends who reside south of the equator; they who bask in warm summer sun over the festive times. but, market forces at work, i suppose, and demand dictates that all Christmas marketing is aimed squarely at the Northern America and Western European market.

finally, then, up there above is a look - glance, perhaps - at my Minecraft calendar for the month of December for the year of 2018. as many of you will be aware, one of my most passionate things is to maintain the tradition of having a Minecraft calendar in the house, at least for every year that is 2018 and when i can find one for sale for about 12p.

well, there we go, there you have it. hopefully the above has helped all of you who for some reason elect to use my updates for all your calendar requirements, rather that investing in one for yourself. calendars are somewhat symptomatic of a false economy, i suppose, lasting as they do for (at best) just a year.

my plan would be for more calendar related shenanigans across 2019, but i make no promises. for all i know, i shall at some stage get bored or tired of such updates. but we shall see.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warning ant and pain

hello there


and once again, and why not, look you see, just one of them random observations from my travels across the lands.

there are, on the whole, rather a lot of signs up in and around England. far too many, many would say. on several stretches of road one encounters significant numbers of signs. these can be quite distracting, which is unfortunate as many of the signs are encouraging you not to be this (distracted) as you drive.

but, then again, some signs do allow for displays of splendid creativity. like, for instance, this one what i saw, not on a road as such, but on a wall surrounding or otherwise encompassing a parking facility.

indeed, yes, quite, much as the title promised, to be sure, it was a sign what i saw what read warning ant and pain. most peculiar. going on the unblemished or unaltered signs around it, my assumption is that it should, as point of fact, read warning anti vandal paint, but someone - presumably a vandal - has come along and altered the wording. possibly or quite probably by the application of white paint to the, in the eyes of the vandal, superfluous lettering.

that; after some thought, is just about all i can think of to say on the subject. actually, perhaps i have spoken of it far too much as it is.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a triumph of justice over vengeance

hello there


not so long ago i, look you see, wrote (with some passion) about the time i was called upon to do, or if you will perform, a most noble level of civic duty. this was to be on the jury of Viz Crown Court, Fulchester. i, like several unsuspecting readers of The Viz, was summoned to serve and hear the sordid details of a case involving a gentleman, a zoo, a crocodile and what can only be described as a quite unnatural act.

ladies and gentlemen, with all deliberations and formalities completed, the verdict of this particularly unpleasant case is now "in". as i made some sort of vague, partial promise to give an update, and indeed as i have absolutely nothing else better to write about, i thought i would share the verdict with you, so that it may be a matter of public record, or whatever.

yes, you see, guilty. i think the fact that the accused, the disgraced Mr Cummerbund, asked for 134 (that is one hundred and thirty four) similar such incidents to be taken into consideration vindicates my point that the police were not exactly going to go and arrest an innocent man. for some reason a number of my contemporaries questioned my logic, if you will my rationale, in such a view. i believe the facts here entirely vindicate this view.

my main concern is, of course, the leniency of the sentence. once again the hard work of the police has been undone by the generosity of the courts. a sentence should seek both to punish the criminal and send a stern, clear warning to all others. i do not believe that a 2 year suspended sentence is going to frighten or scare off any other sort of randy chap who also thinks it is perfectly acceptable to bum a crocodile.

whilst on the subject of the police, a recent BBC documentary suggested that the constabulary of Hartlepool was quite stretched, with only ten officers available. might i respectfully suggest, then, that Hartlepool council give some consideration to managing resources, and have some of their ten thousand (approx) traffic wardens work as police officers, catching criminals instead of randomly ticketing any vehicle which dares to drive into the place?

no, nothing to do with the trial, that, or the police. i just noted it in a recent edition of Private Eye, and it amused me a bit so i thought i would add it here for good measure. not that i am much of a Nick Cave fan, really; a superficial one at best. both he and his music are ok, they are just not my thing. however, in my years i have come to appreciate and respect that for some reason mentioning you are a Nick Cave fan makes you seem more appealing, interesting and indeed attractive to the ladies, so i have from time to time blagged it a bit.

oh, yes, the title of the blog. indeed, you clever people, a reference to the aftermath of the infamous Timothy McVeigh trial, where one side referred to it as the title, and the other said that it was a triumph of vengeance over justice. no particular reason for using that title, but if you spotted or clocked the reference, what can i say but well done to you.

right, then, i shall take my leave from you here, for now, until the next time. and, until the next time,





be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in song and in dance

heya


well, it's that time coming up. that time, look you see - Christmas. i know this because, well, it looks rather close on the calendar, when i consult it. but, also, because Poundland have got their new (exciting) range of Christmas CDs out on the shelves.

quite surprisingly they do not have the classic, celebrated Chas & Dave Greatest Christmas on the shelf, at least not at the branch i went to. i would have thought that with the passing of Chas out of Chas and Dave they would have made this particularly fine album their flagship for the season, but no.

they do, however, but of course have a Christmas related recording by The King, Elvis Presley available for sale. yes, of course i bought a copy of such, otherwise this post would not exist in the way what it does.

yes, there you go, Christmas With Elvis by The King, Elvis Presley, presented in the greater glory of Commodore 64 mode. indeed, behind it is one of those holy grails of music - the mythological Nilsson demos for the Popeye soundtrack. but, perhaps a post on that some other day.

indeed, the cover for this 2018 edition of Christmas With Elvis features an image of Him in a classic pose from a still from the motion picture Jailhouse Rock. some clever person, or perhaps the works experience kid foisted on the office, has done one of them "photoshop" things to make it seem like The King, Elvis Presley is wearing a Christmas hat.

the defining feature of the artwork - the main, dominating characteristic - is that it is one which is predominantly free of the burden of copyright and licencing costs. we shall return to this subject soon.

should the above look like a coaster or beermat to you, that is because it is one. no, of little relevance to this post, but there it is. Spiros sent me that image, from a recent jolly adventure to an unspecified location in the Caribbean. he has recently learned of the legend of where the band 10cc got their name off of, and so has been playing Dreadlock Holiday on repeat ever since. as is his will, and his finances, he has headed off in the general direction of the song, just to see if it is all true.

but, back to The King, Elvis Presley. a general rule, as true of art as it is business processes and production, is that you do not waste. so, satisfied with how the image of Him looks on the cover, them what produced the CD Christmas With Elvis elected to use the very same image on the CD face and the inner cover artwork.

and why not, you have to say, and why not. sure, well, no, you don't have to say that, but if you do then it's quite fine to have done so.

i have several CDs which are named along the lines of variations of Christmas With Elvis. why, then, did i purchase another? mostly because it is The King, Elvis Presley, but also to help enable me to get into the mystical, so-called festive mood. sometimes it feels like we have let slip just how magical and wonderful a time it really is, and so i will take any action i can to make it feel special. this is particularly true when such an action, or course of direction, costs just £1.

do you wish to see what is on the disc this year? of course you do. here you go, then, a look at the track listing, with only some of it obscured by the reflection off of the flash.

with the exception of the ten "bonus" tracks, the 12 Christmas songs on Christmas With Elvis are the exact same ones that i bought on a similar offering off of Poundland by The King, Elvis Presley last year. and the year before. they are just presented in a slightly different order here.

in respect of how these songs are selected, or if you like curated, the answer is quite carefully. should you ask the question. each and every song on Christmas With Elvis is chosen with focus and attention to detail being on the fact that they are not protected by copyright, and so are royalty free. once production and distribution costs are nailed, this CD is all profit for Poundland. as we, the people, are able to access the important Christmas messages of The King, Elvis Presley for a reasonable, affordable cost, this is all win for absolutely everyone.

my understanding is that someone called John Lewis have hired (Sir) Elton John to advertise Christmas for them, for a fee reported to be around £5 million. how wasteful. i mean, sure, Sir Elton is kind of OK as far as i am aware, but for that money they could have bought five million copies of this CD. when you put it like that - what would you have, thirty seconds of Elton John or five million recordings of The King, Elvis Presley - it's not much of a contest, is it?

anyway, if you celebrate it and all that, i do trust and hope that your Christmas preparations are well and truly all your own.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bullseye and birmingham

hello there


quite a tricky one this, to be sure. let me be honest, look you see. although i was rather close to Birmingham (the one in England) recently, i was not in Birmingham as such. so i cannot speak with absolute certainty about if you can or cannot watch Bullseye in Birmingham (the English one).

but, such trivialities have never really stopped me before. so, let's get on with whatever it is i propose to write in this post, hopefully for the entertainment of someone somewhere or other.

indeed, yes, that is His Excellency, Jim Bowen, presenting Bullseye, broadcast once more via the magic of that free to air TV channel called Challenge, or something like that. as i mentioned in passing above, strictly speaking this was not in a hotel in Birmingham as such, but not far off.

actually, and this is quite exciting, it was really close to Tipton. can't recall exactly what the sat nav thing said, but i was only 3 miles or 3 minutes away from the place. it is somewhere i want to go, having after all spent several years reading of the exploits of Hugo Guthrie, the apparent "in the job for life" Mayor of Tipton, in The Viz. my imagination stretches as far as assuming it would be quite class to meet him.

no, that's not where i was. far from it, in every sense you can think of. some of you will no doubt recognise the above, but if not, yes, that is indeed Vietnam. presently, or recently (or some time ago if you are reading this many years from now), Spiros went over there for a bit of business.

whilst he was there i asked him, if he would not mind, to look out for speedboats. yes, mostly i actually asked him to look for cheap cigarettes (he says next to no one smokes in Vietnam), but also speedboats. some of the research what i have done for my book on where all the class prizes off of Bullseye have ended up has led me to believe that a number of the speedboats won as prizes have been used to travel to distant parts of the world. well, relative distant parts, since taking a Speedboat off of the Bullseye studio and all the way to Vietnam would be a formidable voyage.

yes, that's me, where i was, which was close to Birmingham but not actual Birmingham proper. still, they had the smart accent and all that, so there you go.

and further yes, that is a canal behind me. any, or many if i press the "m" key properly, will already know of this, but for those who do not, there is currently an ambitious project underway to turn all of the major roads and many of the minor ones into canals across all of most of the Midlands, which will presumably (you would think) see most cars and lorries and trucks and that be replaced with boats. so, if anyone in that area happened to be someone what won a speedboat off of Bullseye has kept it in good condition for some 20 - 30 years (i have no idea how long a boat or ship would last, all that comes to mind is one particularly massive one what didn't even last one full journey), they will be able to go about their business normally as and when this roads into canals work is complete.

why exactly are they changing all the roads to canals and similar waterways? i do not know. my suspicion is that it is the genius of Hugo Guthrie, Mayor of Tipton, behind it. of his many characteristics, it is known that he is a big fan of science fiction works such as Jurassic Shed and Waterworld. perhaps he just wanted some of the latter in his life, and decided to share it with the wider geographical population.

that's not near Birmingham, no. as point of fact the above image, presented in the splendour and magnificence of Commodore 64 mode, is some 200 miles north of Tipton and similar.

indeed, it is a harbour, or if you like marina, like area which i visited as part of my research into the speedboats of Bullseye. whereas i would not care to say specifically where this was, it is of course true that Hartlepool is likely to follow the lead of the Mayor of Tipton and replace all roads with canals. they really, really hate cars in Hartlepool, so would be delighted to be rid of them. also, it is not like this would be the first time Hartlepool has simply copied the Midlands model. creativity and original thoughts are in the same room as Hartlepool just about as often as one sees Bruce Wayne and Batman sat together.

some Tony Green action, then. nothing is quite so reassuring as the voice of Tony Green telling you to relax and take your time. it is particularly welcome after one has driven for several (four) hours, is all alone and missing their family a great deal. or so i have heard.

indeed this was all in a hotel where i was staying. a reasonably posh hotel, although for goodness sake do not order coffee and cake at the same time in the restaurant, as it leaves the staff confused and bewildered. perhaps i shall do a post on that subject at some other, future date. not one in the past, then.

another selfie, for those what are for some reason interested in how i am looking these days, or if you will how i looked when i wrote this. yes, that is in a shop for all things celebratory of a football team quite close to Tipton. boing boing is their anthem, i think, or bouncey bouncey or something like that. splendid, magnificent stuff.

perhaps the title of this post is a bit misleading. whereas i have mentioned it in passing, kind of, not much of this has focused on the relationship between Bullseye and the soon to be mostly aquatic Birmingham. well, as far as i am aware you can indeed still watch repeats of Bullseye in Birmingham, so long as you have a television set and the requisite access to the channel what broadcasts the repeats.

one more image from Vietnam, courtesy of Spiros. as you can see he did make the effort to see if any speedboats off of Bullseye had made it that far. having got to a body of water, however, Spiros decided that his time would be better spent having a try of the ale that they sell there, rather than looking for some peculiar prize offered by a gameshow that he is only vaguely familiar with. and why not.

well, anyway, that was this, and this is all that for now. more, so to speak, soon. or later.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

justice is reward in itself, but

hello there


there are things that you expect to happen in this life, to be sure, and then there are things what might happen, look you see, but you do not know if they will. one such example of these, or this if that is the proper way to word it (and it probably is), would be being selected for jury service.

it is of course that what has (kind of) happened to me, hence me singling it out from the many, many things that could or might have happened in this life. there i was, just minding my own business, reading The Viz when i turned a page and discovered that i was, as point of fact, on the jury at Fulchester Crown Court for a most particularly unpleasant crime.

yes, i will give the details of the case i was asked to sit on as a juror. no, they are not pleasant or comfortable reading. my advice to you, then, is that if you are squeamish or have no wish to be troubled by the more disturbing deeds of some members of our society, you should almost certainly skip the next paragraph of this post.

basically, a gentleman was caught in a compromising position. which is a polite way of saying that he was observed apparently attempting to bum a crocodile. this was observed by some fine, upstanding members of the community. despite being witnessed, a plea of not guilty was entered. the defendant claimed that he was, in fact, attempting to save the crocodile from choking on a duck what the zookeeper had fed him, at which point the buckle on his belt broke and that was why his trousers were down around his ankles as he did this.

we, the jury who happened to have stopped and read those pages of The Viz, were encouraged to carefully consider the evidence and decide if he was guilty or not guilty of (to put it frankly) bumming a crocodile. the judge reminded us that it was the job of the prosecution to prove beyond doubt guilt, and not for the defendant to prove beyond doubt his innocence.

i am not sure what and what not we, the jury, can discuss or say on our deliberations and the nature of our vote. let me not, then, say whether i voted guilty or not guilty. but my thinking, if you are interested, is that there is surely no way whatsoever that the police, or if you like the constabulary, would ever arrest the wrong person for a crime, now, is there?

now, of course, yes, being part of having justice served (although the verdict is only to be revealed in the Christmas edition of The Viz), and making a meaningful contribution to society is reward in itself. but it was lovely of The Viz to give all who served on the jury a free pen, so long as they sent in a stamped addressed envelope, with the stamp being for "large" letter due to the vagaries of Royal Mail.

the pen what i got (this time) was the short, stubby one, which features the potential and means to switch between red and black ink. this is, i suspect, partially based on them small, mini pens one can get down the bookies.

as you may well have observed, above and below, i have a number of free pens off of The Viz, as well as a pencil or two. the pencil is, i believe, something which i have discussed in a fairly recent post, so i will not go into too much detail again here.

indeed, due to the obsession what The Viz has with giving away pens (and pencils) to those what send in a stamped address envelope it is quite rare that i ever really need to buy a pen (or pencil). to be honest, the only time i have ever bought a pen over the last, say, 5 or so years is when i have felt the need to use one that does not have Viz cheap pen written on it, or i have seen one going cheap. which is not something that happens as often as you might think.

well, anyway, that's that. should i remember, then, yes, i will give an update on the eventual verdict on this court case what i was on the jury was. but i would be fairly confident you can assume he was found guilty, the filthy, dirty gentleman who was given the appearance of a fair trial.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of cactus and argan

hello once more


perhaps it is just me, look you see, but it feels like quite some time since i gave any focus here to my decisions (or choices) concerning hair care. a bold, stark opening statement, perhaps, but one which all the same tells you more or less what to expect with the rest of this post.

a frontier has been pushed, ladies and gentlemen. i have made a decision and taken a course of action which i always thought would be quite unlikely. yes, to warn you, it is that threshold crossed - i have spent a sum in excess, or if you like north of, £1 on a single hair care product. not much more, mind, but over that seemingly fixed maximum costing.

this decision of mine will, presumably if you are still reading, have gotten you all interested and excited. so, let me not draw out the tale any longer than absolutely required.

of the two haircare items shown quite clearly above in Commodore 64 mode it is the hair gel what i spent more than £1 on. in a very real sense substantially north of £1. well, it cost £1.50. normally (usually) the money i spend on either shampoo or gel must be equal to £1 in cost or, ideally, south of that.

no, i had no intention of deliberately spending so much. something of an impulse purchase, perhaps, for when i was in the store looking at it - Tesco, i believe - the idea of having cactus extract in a haircare product struck me as being very exciting and quite desirable. why this would be so is something of a mystery. perhaps it is better to leave it as just being the case.

yes, that is indeed Iceman out of Top Gun, along with the one what is not Maverick or Goose or Iceman out of Top Gun. i think he was some sort of assistant or second fiddle to Iceman, no idea what his name is and i am not inclined to waste valuable internet looking for it.

at no stage in my life, at least post, when was it, 85 or 86, has anyone ever made the comment that my hair looks as smart as what Iceman out of Top Gun did. this is something i now consider to be a gap in my life which i very much want to be filled. now, i have no proof or evidence that the trick to having hair as smart as what Iceman out of Top Gun had is using products what have cactus extract in them, but surely it is worth a go. everything about Val Kilmer (he who portrayed Iceman out of  Top Gun), after all, says that he is a man who has a strong affinity for using products what have been blessed with or otherwise touched by cactus.

shampoo is not usually a debate for me. i generally seek out (for £1 or less) any such shampoo what has lemon in it, for that is what Jason Donovan uses. failing lemon - and so few manufacturers use it in shampoo these days - i look for any citrus based one. not so in this instance, unless argan turns out to be something of a citrus nature. i simply don't know.

there were a number of factors which led to me selecting this particular shampoo. the most obvious was that it has argan oil extract (whatever that is) in it. but not just any argan oil extract, i will have you know. it features Moroccan argan oil extract. this i have concluded must be the very best of argan to use the oil of, otherwise why state it in such a brazen way on the packaging?

in truth, the argan aspect was of secondary appeal. yes, indeed, the long, squeeze powered tube packaging turned out to be the most prominent point of appeal. for too long i have relied on regular, somewhat conventional bottle shaped receptacles to draw my required shampoo from. why not, i say, have a go at a different approach? yolo is, i believe, the relevant expression.

will this shampoo - resplendent with (Moroccan) argan oil extract and in a tube - make my hair quite so beautiful and precious as either of the two celebrated lovers whose coming to terms with their feelings (longings, perhaps) for each other was the focal point of the romantic comedy Rocky III? i have absolutely no idea, but if i don't have a go i never will know, now, will i?

such a lovely scene, that one above, rewarding the audience for the emotional investment they have made in the motion picture. yes, indeed, looking at the above, i have often considered "working out" a bit so that my backside, or if you will posterior, can be so handsomely toned as what Apollo's is in the above picture. solid, firm perfection that is. i bet you could bounce a 50p coin off that, all day, every day. or a "quarter" if you are one of them Americans.

any regrets about how much i have spent on these haircare products of quality and distinction? not immediately so, no. should the cactus extract one see people compare me - favourably - to Iceman out of Top Gun, then it might well be that yet further such expenditure is given consideration.

just because i cannot think of a single good reason why someone would consult this blog for guidance or ideas on haircare products does not mean it doesn't happen. if, as point of fact, it has happened and you have taken something of value from all of this, most happy day.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

use a pencil

greetings


i am one of those "old school", or if you like no-nonsense types who prefers to send an actual, physical greetings card to those celebrating certain events, look you see. mostly this would, of course, be all a kind of birthday thing, but Christmas and other such events too.

many these days simply use technology to do this. it could be in the form of a "text message", or one of them social media platform things. in truth i use the same too, when distance, locale and a lack of address mean i cannot send a card, but when i can send one, i do.

a great fear i have in this is missing out on someone's special day. it makes me feel sad, and guilty, whenever i do. fortune has somewhat smiled on me with this in mind, then. the two great things what begin with the letter P in our world - Poundland and pencils - come together, at last, or finally, in a meaningful way.

once again, then - for it has happened before - Poundland has broken new ground with inspiration and innovation. this most splendid card is ideal. no, literally, ideal for all occasions. as you can see, the need to faff about looking for a card specific to the greeting is now eliminated; you simply tick off whatever it is you wish to wish someone on the front, and be done with it. quite time saving too.

the best part of this, or at least one of the top three best things about it, is if you mark off whatever you initially wish to wish someone on the front with a pencil. by doing this, the recipient can simply erase it as and when that particular period of celebration is over, and tick off the next relevant one, also with a pencil.

success is, of course, dependant on having a pencil. well, that and a rubber, or an "eraser" if you are American and are for some reason reading something about Poundland. as it happens, i have several pencils. since you asked, and are obviously interested, here are some of them.

do i have any particular favourite pencils? probably the One Direction, or if you will 1D ones. other than of course being a totes full on fan of Harry all the others in the band, whoever they are, all their branded stuff is going really cheap. it is inevitable that they will reunite one day; so i am stockpiling everything i see for sale with them on to cash in one day.

otherwise, the space people ones off of that Star Wars thing are smart, and the I Spotted Jimmy Hill ones that i got off of The Viz for spotting Jimmy Hill in their magnificent publication are much treasured.

just who did i get this card for exactly, and what greeting shall i initially apply the pencil to? well, it feels like i would be revealing too much if i said that it was for Chris out of the sensational Harlo gang for his birthday, so i will refrain from the details. he is a bright lad, i am sure he will work out how to rub out the tick i will place on birthday and add one on Christmas, or whatever.

how much does this fine card cost? well, there's a bit of a clue for you in the name of the proprietor that i bought it off. for the sake of clarity, however, yes, it cost £1. and, if looked after, that's £1 that will just keep on giving and giving for years and years.

to be honest i have absolutely no idea if this will all be of use or interest to anyone, but if it has been, well then there you go.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

可爱闪亮的香烟

你好


just one of them in many respects irresponsible posts what i do, look you see. so yes, then, to be sure, this will all concern cigarettes. let me give you the obligatory smoking is bad for you, it is very silly, don't do it, etc cautionary statement, and then suggest that you may want to look at another corner of the internet, rather than this one, should cigarettes be not your thing.

for those reading on, then, yes. once again Spiros, the greatest legal mind of his generation, has been on his travels. as a thoughtful kindness, he has picked me up some more splendid fags from lands afar, so that i may smoke them and smoke them in a way what does not bankrupt me in the face of the draconian, horridly high levels of tax whacked on them here in the UK. nice one, mate.

i am sure you can see the brand and that quite clearly in the above image, enhanced by the greater glory of Commodore 64 mode, but for clarity, indeed yes, these are called (i think) Ashima fags.

provenance of the fags? as regular readers will know, for the purposes of security and various NDA things, i cannot reveal exactly when or where Spiros is at any given time. but it is not unreasonable for any of you to reach any sort of conclusion that they are oriental in origin, at the least.

what's really lovely about these fags is, of course, the fact that it features proper, well thought out and most lovely packaging. not the generic rubbish we are forced to have here now. no, none of that for these. look at how shiny the gold is, and how splendid the pattern on the side of each packet is too.

oh yes, for those still here despite having no appreciation for the fags, please take note of the warnings about smoking being harmful, etc.

i am not sure if you can make it out, but the packaging is also classic "old school", in that it states the level of nicotine and tar (or what have you) in each one. for some reason that's missing off packaging in the UK now. anyway, these have 10mg of each, which seems like a fairly decent volume.

the luxurious packaging stretches to the inside, too. marvel at the lovely crisp (hello, Faye) golden foil which protects the cigarettes prior to one removing it so they can have a fag.

do we, i wonder, really live in a word so dumbed down that people actually believe it's lovely, shiny packaging like this what makes people smoke? i am, admittedly without seeing the evidence or research, unconvinced. but, then again, i also seriously doubt that the results of the last 3 or 4 elections around the world have come about because millions - millions - were convinced to vote in a specific way on the basis of "tweets" or "facebook posts", whatever they are, by "Russian hackers".

now, at this stage you are probably wondering whether or not we, in our part of the world, got any snow on the final Saturday of October of 2018, or October (2018) to state it Kasabian style. yes, we did.

it came, made all cold, and went. unfortunately i have no idea if this means we are in for a long, cold, snow dominated winter, or if the stuff shall now leave us be for a few months. we shall simply have to find out as we go.

the business end of fags is, of course, not so much the packaging but the actual smoking of them. let me tell you, dear reader, these Ashima fags are most splendid. no, true, not Marlboro Red, what is the bestest greatest ever cigarette to exist, but rather splendid all the same. a most pleasant taste to them, and by my word they get the job done.

you probably, in all likelihood, worked out around about the time i mentioned snow that i have not got all that much to say about the Ashima fags, except that they are smart and a very welcome gift. but i had taken quite a few pictures of them, as you can see, and so feel obliged to put some writing around them for you all.

did Spiros deliberately pick them out as he knew they would be quite class? yes, of course. assuming that the retailer knew he wanted to do this, and so simply placed them as the cheapest nearest to the till for Spiros to grab and buy in a hurry as he went to get on (or in) his plane.

the rather elegant packaging of these fags extends to the fags themselves, as you can see. what a lovely blue pattern they have on the filter bit.

what does it say on the fags? at a guess, that would be Chinese or some other such language what has similar characters for "Ashima". or maybe it says "smart fags" or something like that.

no, yes, well, anyway. that's that. as ever, hopefully this has been of some interest to someone somewhere. many thanks again, Spiros!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i read the news today, oh boy

hello there


a recurring factor in modern day life, to be sure, is the dismissal of certain news reports as being "fake news". i have, look you see, commented in the past about how many - frighteningly so - are seemingly intent on the simplistic approach of describing anything they happen to disagree with, or just not like, as being this "fake news", no matter what validity the story actually has.

much of the flaws perceived to be in the world today - and this is not a dig at "snowflakes" or "millennials" or such, for we are all guilty - comes down to our apparently all of a sudden inability to accept things don't always go the way we want. could we but just do this once more and move on, well, who knows, maybe everything would seem a little less chaotic.

but, in addressing "fake news", a reality is that it has existed since, well, ever since the first ever news story was told, whenever that was. all forms of reporting, relaying information and what have you are subjective. one really only considers a news source to be objective when they happen to find one that says what they really like to hear.

for me, then, the "most objective" news outlet on the go at the moment would appear to be the Sunday Sport. they are flawless crusaders, reporting on whatever story they so wish and not caring that the rest of the newspapers, periodicals and so forth turn a blind eye to it all.

like, for instance, the story above, taken from the 21 October edition. that's of 2018, future readers. it is the tragic tale of Hilda Hughes, the hero we do not deserve but the one we need. the courage and bravery she showed in setting up secret cameras in a shower led to her stumbling on a Russian plot to start a war, or something. it is truly sad to read how any minor criminal action she may have inadvertently taken is not being overlooked for the greater good.

this is but one of several stories what the Sunday Sport bring to the attention of the public, no matter how much the rest of the media here in the UK elect to ignore, or perhaps suppress, them. it is usual that nearly every single page of any given edition covers stories that the likes of the Guardian, the Telegraph and what have you just run away from.

like, for instance, this one above. or below, if for some reason your display screen has formatted this text so that it does not appear how it should. no, i had no idea that Boris "BoJo" Johnson had a secret twin brother, but i would imagine that is where the secret part is. so much of a secret, in fact, that not even Boris himself appears aware that this is the case.

what's admirable here is that the Sunday Sport does not exploit this knowledge for the sake of it. they clearly take a genuine interest in this "secret twin", and are happy to share with their readers the plight this poor chap faces. it was with nothing but sadness that i read of his current predicament, being either banned or simply snubbed from what sounds like a truly wonderful social gathering.

speaking of institutions such as BoJo, the Monarchy. a quite vocal, opinionated minority seem to think the idea of a Queen, indeed a Royal Family, is outdated, and it should be scrapped. what they crave is a movement away from stability and tradition, and a move towards the exciting chaos of an elected Head of State. just picture how wonderful a President Blair, for instance, or President Thatcher would have been.

it is splendid, then, when one reads of one so committed and loyal to the monarchy that they are prepared to make any such personal sacrifice asked of them for the greater good of this institution. this young lady shall, and there can be no doubt, feature prominently on the Queen's New Years Honours List in just a couple of months or so. actually a month and a bit. oh, but if only so many more of us would be prepared to make such a great sacrifice then this place would be a good deal better.

my advice to you would be to simply find a news source you like, stick with it, and get on with things. shouting, fighting and arguing with news stories you do not like does not change them, and does no one any particularly great favour.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wrestling with concepts

hi there


not a great deal in truth, to be sure. i am just checking in, look you see, to say that yes, so far as i am aware i am still around.

lately i have been busy wrestling with a concept. several, actually, hence the plural title, but one in particular i thought i would share with you. the sorites paradox, since you ask. yes, if trying to pronounce that gives you a headache, you may want to try reading about it, and then thinking on the matter.

oh, no, picture above is nothing to do with the sorites paradox or similar, and so far as i am aware nothing i have been wrestling with. just a nice image (i think) of my (considerably) better half and i, in the greater glory and splendid ways of Commodore 64 mode.

well, anyway, time for me to provoke some more headaches by having a think about this business. should you wish to experience similar or the same, here you go, here is a link to it all. see what you make of it.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

impossible lighter

now then


another brave tale of doing that which was thought that could not be done, look you see. so yes, then, for those of you who have been here before, this is indeed one of them incidents where i have left an item of some consequence in the pocket of some clothing, and the intrepid item has survived both trial by washing machine and trial by tumble dryer.

in this instance, and i would rather suspect the title has given this away, it was a cigarette lighter. well, a lighter, i suppose. the current social climate means that there are many, many wonderful reasons - some of them perfectly legal - to have a lighter as such, but using one to spark into flame a cigarette tends to be one of the least popular applications.

should this lighter look a bit different from the normal ones i have, well, you are not wrong. quite recently i was caught without one, and so had to spend some 79p or 89p on a single "prestige" lighter out of the posh shops, rather than using one from a packet of 4, 5 or 6 that i had purchased from Poundland for £1. not, of course, that Poundland isn't posh; they simply don't go around slamming posh prices on things.

for what reason do i keep putting things like cigarette lighters through tough and demanding trials by things such as washing machines and tumble dryers? well, i can assure you it is not deliberate. quite absent minded of me, really. usually i do check trousers, and them fancy shirts what have pockets, before i place items in the wash. on this instance, however, i clearly failed to do so.

at this stage you are probably looking for some evidence that the lighter works. sorry, i can't show any evidence of it going through the wash or tumble dryer, for i had no idea it was in there. but it still working, yes, i can do that. in the form of one of them Commodore 64 "GIF" things. quite a splendid one, too.

i reckon that this lighter must have been made out of that dead expensive stuff what underwater welding equipment is made out of. at least i assume it is expensive, it certainly sounds it. whilst my view is one of that it is probably better to weld the stuff before you submerge it in a body of water, yes, indeed, a career which i always wanted but never got to pursue (thus far) was that of being an underwater welder. it just sounds really smart, and would impress people when i told them that i did it.

well, anyway, i have quite probably exhausted all points of interest concerning this adventure. let me head off to the next one, then. one which, hopefully, will not see me expose a combustible, flammable device to pressure and heat, even if i did get away with it this time around.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!