beautiful barbs, wonderful walls

howdy pop pickers


there has been something missing from this blog, look you see. quite a few who know me, and are aware of my proclivities and idiosyncratic ways, might well have wondered why (a) there was no day of release post for the new Barbara Streisand album, released on 2 November 2018, (b) it didn't feature in my best..... nonsense towards the end of 2018 and (c) why there has been no mention of it, at all, until now. 

well, simple, really. my (considerably) better half requested of me to make the ultimate sacrifice. this involved me not purchasing the new Barbs album and waiting for a bit, so that she may have something that it would be known i would want, wish for and appreciate for all that Christmas business. an impossible situation, but i agreed to it. guilt has hung upon my shoulders ever since, of course - without my purchase of it at the time the album "only" reached number 6 in the UK album chart.

so, anyway, i have it now, as in Walls by Barbra (Barbs) Streisand. and yes it is good. and yes this is a post on the subject.

just what is this record? why, it is the 36th officially recognised studio album to be recorded and released by Barbs. it also marks a return to her doing some original compositions, something not seen, or rather heard, in a fair while. no, the last few years for Barbs has been things like Partners, Encore, Christmas Classics and an assortment of compilations.

a welcome return, then, but one (that is, a return) that does not lack reason. this will crop up as we go, should you elect to continue, but, surprise surprise, Barbs is not, funnily enough, all that happy, enamoured or delighted with what she observes in her native grounds of America. yes, this is with specific emphasis on the current political arrangements and clients.

strangely, happily or maybe against expectations, the above dislike is not overtly dominating in the songs, and nor is it distracting. for now, however, on with a bit of a gander at the music. but, that said, the motivation and inspiration behind Barbs making this record is never all that far away.

three songs off of the album have enjoyed a fairly healthy amount of radio play. it is a sign of the peculiar times that we must now assume the three songs which have had radio play are the lead "singles" off of the record, despite them never actually being released as singles. anyway, the three songs / singles off the album to get radio rotation are Don't Lie To Me, the titular Walls and The Rain Will Fall.

as an ultra-loyalist, hardcore Barbs fan, i would say that these three songs in particular stand up to scrutiny and appreciation normally reserved for her "classic" hits. this is by no means an easy thing to say - quite controversial in fact. mostly this would be due to the fact that, at times, and in particular on The Rain Will Fall, Barbs is sounding less like Barbs, and a good deal more like Cher than even Cher currently sounds. but, hey, who doesn't like Cher?

of course, this being where we are in this century, and Barbs being Barbs, just the one thing comes to mind when a word like "walls" is mentioned; the ambitious plan by a certain President Trump to build a wall that will supposedly block Mexico, actually specifically Mexicans, from the United States.

Barbs is perhaps the personification of the democrat (in American political party terms) dream. she is also an unapologetic acolyte, advocate and tacit apologist for the Clintons, the political dynasty that never was. whilst the (lavish, extensive and beautifully presented) linear notes make clear how "proud" Barbs would have been if history had brought us a second President Clinton, the commentary within the songs - in particular Walls - is far from over.

it's a more constructive than narrative in the lyrics, then. idealist, perhaps, and at times so hippy fantastic that you might be forgiven for thinking you are listening to Art Garfunkel at his solo airy best rather than songs partly penned by Barbs. in a song like Walls Barbs takes a concept or idea that has little but negative connotations and turns it into an expression of how the world could, would and should perhaps be.

on a practical and blunt level, Barbs is experienced and wise enough to know that releasing a record which effectively screams "f*** Ttump" is of little value. such statements are of course bandied about frequently, and often serve to get the speaker of them some polite applause for being right on rather than they do to change anything.

a sticker on the front of the CD and a comment on the back say that this record is Barbs singing about "what is on her mind". it is not like you can turn around and complain that no warning was presented, then.

pictured below is the booklet section which concerns Don't Lie To Me. unless it is just me getting "old" and that, i quite agree with the sentiment she expresses. other than all this "fake news" nonsense, in which people dismiss stories they happen to disagree with as "fake", there is the problem of social media in general but all this "twitter" business in particular.

for some reason we have allowed the forth estate, the world news media, to present "what is trending on twitter" as being the most important news going. dangerously, there's an assumption that anything put or "trending" on this twitter thing immediately equates to it being true and right. no, not quite. how it has escaped the attention of so many that twitter is essentially an echo chamber is beyond me.

i mean, i get the entertainment and value people get off of something like twitter, and no, i would not seek for that to cease. what i don't quite understand is how it's been allowed to have such a sway and influence on the media, which in turn means sway and influence on the world we live in.

the remainder of the album, other than these three highlighted songs? at the risk of sounding disrespectful some "standard Barbs", but then again standard Barbs happens to be very good. one thing i am wrestling with is an "orchestral mash up" of Imagine (yes, the John Lennon one) and What A Wonderful World (the Louis Armstrong one, not to be confused with Wonderful World off of Sam Cooke). it's an intriguing vocal performance, but after a couple of plays i still cannot determine if i like what she's done here. all, of course, whilst accepting that it is Barbs what done it, so yes it is brilliant, as i am duty bound to say.

would i suggest or recommend to you, the people, procure and secure a copy of Walls by Barbra Streisand for your listening pleasure? yes, absolutely. i can say that on the basis of the three lead songs / "singles" being used to promote the album alone. all three are superb, and the remainder of the album gives you more of the same.

yes, indeed, had i heard it at the time of release, this record would have featured in the positive part of my "albums of the year" section. not the best, of course. as interesting as what is on Barbs' mind is to hear, ultimately what is going on in America is of little relevance to me. but still, the songs are all very good indeed.

unless a spectacular surprise release happens in the next couple of weeks, i would have thought that the next music or album related post here shall all be of the return of Ian Brown as a solo artist. but i would suspect with confidence that i shall find other things to write of between this and then.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sed iam quod erat ignotum

salve est


time again, then, look you see. another glance into the future for you, using my special powers in the dark arts, extracted from knowledge that is known but was always intended to remain unknown. normally it would be acceptable and right to say that my "mortal soul" is at risk by learning such, but as i have pointed out before according to science i am immortal. this will remain to be the case until science proves conclusively that i can, as point of fact, die or otherwise be killed in some fashion or other. with this failing to happen, the empirical scientific answer is that i shall, much to the disgust and contempt of some, live forever.

quite an unusual twist in my vast powers of summoning answers now for questions then, with then being one day in the future. it is the case that these powers, if powers is the appropriate word, have been doubled by my obtaining a second device to consult for tales of the future.

yes. to go along with my powerful and all seeing, all knowing Magic 8 Ball, i now have something called a "bitter lemon". in truth, it had not occurred to me to see a lemon as a conduit to knowing the future. for me, a lemon was - simply yet effectively - an important ingredient in the type of shampoo what Jason Donovan uses. or used, at least, for he mentioned such in an interview he did in the late 80s, on a children's tv show if i recall right. but, when i saw it on sale in Poundland for 50p, i knew it was meant to be, that i must have it.

anyway, it is unlikely you want to know the technical stuff, just answers to questions of the future. to this end, i have posed questions to the Magic 8 Ball and the Bitter Lemon. in this instance, then, i have summoned my powers to ask key sociopolitical questions that many shall be demanding answers for. so best to differentiate which device speaks which future, the answers provided by the bitter lemon are the ones presented in yellow across what follows.......

will Japan win the war against whales?

SO IT SHALL BE
NOT LISTENING


shall Brexit be a spectacular success?

WHEN PIGS FLY
CHANCES AREN'T GOOD

will Trump make America great, apparently "again"?

CONSULT ME LATER
NO SH*TS GIVEN

shall Scotland be free of English "oppression" and become a minor slave state of the EU?

NO, U KNOB
VERY LIKELY

will France surrender to the first person that asks?

CANNOT FORESEE NOW
I DON'T CARE

shall Australia win the Eurovision?

NOT LISTENING
YOU CAN COUNT ON IT

well, quite interesting that. but before i go on, yes, the answers to questions that are key from the Magic 8 Ball above are indeed in green. why? to be sure, why not.

just how often it is that the Magic 8 Ball and the Bitter Lemon either agree or disagree is almost as curious as how coarse and crass the Bitter Lemon is with certain answers. quite an uncouth mouth, this device to tell the future has.

due to the remarkable popularity of these tales of the future, yes, indeed, i shall do some more at a later date. in the future, so to speak, although to say such feels like a terrible joke or poor play on words, considering the subject matter. for now, though, however, i can only hope that some or all of the findings in this incident have been useful or beneficial for some of you.




sublimis inter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thinking of a different time

hey there


much as the title suggests, this will be one of them "nostalgia" things, to be sure. it would be fair to assume that some of you, look you see, find such things quite tiresome. so, fair warning has been given before you carry on.

a little while ago, probably during one of them day of release posts what i try to do for the vibes, i highlighted some fancy VHS style branding for dvds and blu-rays that HMV had in stock. whereas i don't recall the exact post or the details, i can remember being impressed with them, but disappointed with the high price and the fact that i already owned all the titles they had of interest, albeit in more conventional, or if you will standard packaging.

most happy day, then, when i went to HMV over the christmas period (boxing day, if you will) and discovered that they were both of a more agreeable price and featured titles that i did not, for some reason, already own. well, at least not in or on the blu-ray format.

two celebrated and classic 80s comedies, then, in the form of Trading Places and Airplane!, or indeed Flying High as it was named in some countries for some peculiar reason. yes, of course i had these much cherished films on dvd, but had simply not gotten around to upgrading them to the fancy blu-ray versions. most merry a day it was that i could do so and go on the nostalgia kick of these mock VHS boxes with them.

cost? HMV had them in a 2 for £15 section (or 1p south of £10 if you bought just one), which to my mind makes them come in at £7.50 each. a quite reasonable price for a blu-ray title.

a look at what you get for your (if my maths is correct) £7.50, or an understanding of how much, exactly, bang you get for your buck? surely. let us start with how the discs are housed, outside of the smart replica VHS outer box.

inside the outer VHS slipcover is a not entirely flimsy but not entirely sturdy cardboard recreation of a VHS tape. not really accurate, as the holes on the back are far too close together (actually it looks a bit like a Beta cassette), but a decent and respectful enough effort.

whilst i write this i have the blu-ray disc of Trading Places on. subsequently this is taking quite some time to do, since i am thoroughly enjoying watching it again. i can recall fondly my first time watching it. this was all before the government and the bbfc interfered with video, enabling anyone of any age to rent any video, in particular off of the video shop at the petrol station. it was late 83, or early 84, i believe. the BBC had a snippet of the film on some show or other, and i thought "that looks good". as this was all pre-Beverly Hills Cop and pre-Ghostbusters, i was not quite aware of the cast, except that i was fairly sure that the white dude on the cover was one of The Blues Brothers.

my reaction to watching it for the first time was very much to rewind the videotape and watch it again, straight away. yes, it was that good, and going on what i am watching now, remains that good. great, in fact. excellent, even.

to the inside of the mock VHS box, then, and the two discs. both the blu-ray and the dvd discs have been done up like VHS reels or spools, which is a lovely touch.

a decision which has long since baffled me is that what the film industry took to often bundle a blu ray version of a film with the dvd version. i believe Disney argued that they did it so you could watch the blu-ray at home and have the dvd in the car for the kids, or something. in the majority of cases in which i have bought such a set, the dvd disc has remained blissfully untouched. but, i suppose, here it at least lets the mock inner VHS tape case look "a bit" more authentic with the two reels / spools inside.

speaking of which, and you can sort of see this later on with a look at the back of the boxes (not in Commodore 64 mode), the blu-ray and dvd discs would appear to contain different versions of each film, for the blu-ray has a longer running time. also, and but of course, the blu-ray of each is loaded with extra features, whereas the dvd seems to have just the film. thus far, though, i have not noticed any "extra" or "new to me" scenes in the blu of Trading Places. perhaps later, when Dan Aykroyd makes his "superbowl" analogy, is what they mean by the extra scene. that bit got cut for time in some UK prints, for at the time with no NFL / American Football coverage a lengthy scene comparing something to the "superbowl" meant precisely zero to us.

anything else within the packaging? oh goodness me, yes. as show above, assuming the pictures all upload ok, you see what you get. basically, then, a poster for the film, a sticker and a "trading card" or "bubblegum card".

the above, in truth, had me itching to go back and splurge more on these, what with them being a not entirely unreasonable (actually very good) 2 for £15. other titles which excited, interested and tempted me included The Thing, Scarface and An American Werewolf In London. but, they are all films that i have at least once on dvd and for certain as standard packaged blu-rays. in those terms, then, it would seem excessive and indulgent - bourgeois, perhaps - to spend so much for a poster a sticker and a collectable card.

who, exactly, are these aimed at? me, i suppose. well, not me specifically. but, you know, them like me. collectors and so forth, and those who suffer the torment of nostalgia. that said, absolutely no one in their right mind gets nostalgic for the quality of VHS, but i - hopefully we - do for the memories. home video, when it came along at a reasonable price (it took a while, on a school trip to London in the late 80s HMV on Oxford was selling Commando for some £60), was outrageous and exciting. getting a film on tape was exciting and special. now, with cheap discs and all this streaming, it all feels rather disposable.

how come i selected Airplane! to go with Trading Places? well, other than not having it on blu-ray, it is a film which competes very favourably with Life Of Brian, This Is Spinal Tap and Four Lions for the title of funniest film ever made. yes, we had the video of it, and it got watched repeatidley. whereas i cannot remember if it was in Australia or England, i think the first time i watched the tape was with my brother and sister, one weekend morning, whilst Mum & Dad were asleep and we were trusted or otherwise left to just amuse ourselves.

the only other alternate that i could think to pick up was The Breakfast Club. however, it seemed that it featured precisely zero extras, and as the version on the blu was the same as on the dvd then it made little sense to upgrade. nice though a poster of Emilio, Judd, Molly et al would have been.

anyhow, that's that then. let me just get on with watching them. if for some reason you have not worked this out, or if for that matter my opinion is of some value, then yes, absolutely these VHS packaged discs are well worth getting. this is all the more true should you find them at the price i did, or if truly fortunate an even better one.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

musings on sharing a packet of greek fags with the third best hugh laurie tribute act in leicester

hi there


it is perhaps fair, look you see, to say that just about all you need to know of this particular post is right there in the title. true, yes, that a good headline does indeed give you the story, but in this particular instance i suspect that i've gone somewhat beyond that motto of the fourth estate.

no matter, i will press on. or i shall, if that is the correct way to word it. up to you really, just read whichever of the options i have given you for wording it that you believe to be correct and accept that is it and move on.

for what reason is it that i am in a position to speak of, or have musings on, the subject of the title? a not unreasonable question, but one that i do not have a reasonable answer for. the truth is it just struck me as something that some of you might quite like to read, and so i arranged it.

yes, pictured above is the third best hugh laurie impersonator one can find in leicester. no, that is Atari 2600 mode, as it is what he requested. part of the agreement to post all of this was that i only used 8-bit style images of him, and didn't reveal his name. it turns out that the society, or if you will union, of hugh laurie impersonators is hotly contested, and they are reticent if not outright reluctant to reveal the ways in which they look like hugh, for fear of competitors stealing their act. beyond that, i did promise Phil that i wouldn't put his actual name up here, so he shall be referred to as P from here on out. which, in fairness, will save on typing a bit.

how did i come to arrange a meeting with leicester's third best hugh laurie tribute act (impersonator?) some research, hard work and dedication. the top two were, perhaps unsurprisingly with the massive upsurge in demand at this time of year, solidly booked out. happily the third was free. this was mostly due to him only being relatively new to the leicester based hugh laurie tribute act circuit; in some of his words apparently "the arse has fallen out" of the will young tribute act market and so he's diversified a bit.

securing the services of P to share a pack of greek fags was by no means straightforward. certain conditions for this were put in place. firstly, as indeed the first image gives every indication of, alcohol had to be present. the meeting also had to take place at least one hour drive outside of leicester, with what P referred to as "the wolverhampton axis" being a preference. further, the greek fags had to be of the finest quality. in respect of this, some rather splendid old friends in the form of George Karelias (or however you spell it) were procured, with thanks as ever for this going to Spiros.

exactly how big is the market for hugh lauire impersonators (or tribute acts) in leicester? massive, man. bloody huge, in fact. as far as leicester is concerned, modern culture peaked, or reached a quite natural epitome, with the rise to prominence of hugh laurie. as everything what came after hugh is thus considered a waste of time, leicester simply continues to celebrate hugh, flying the flag or burning the candle for him, or whatever. why? well, why not. i am a fan of hugh.

for what reason is it that i wished to engage the services of a hugh tribute act to smoke greek fags? i don't know, really. a lot of it was spontaneous, i suppose, that classic "it seemed like a really good idea at the time" thing. looking back it is possible to say it was an accidental tribute to the celebrated Stephen Fry & Hugh Laurie, or if you like A Bit Of Fry & Laurie sketch set in a greek restaurant, but i don't honestly recall us eating any baklava or stuffed vine leaves.

does being a (predominantly) leicester based hugh laurie tribute act (or impersonator) attract a lot of fanny? oh, goodness me yes. quite remarkable stuff, really. for the sake of avoiding rival impersonators, or indeed the paparazzi, we selected a location rather off the beaten track instead of the usual tourist hot spots associated with the so-called "wolverhampton axis". a somewhat barren and formidable place, the type which makes The Slaughtered Lamb out of An American Werewolf In London seem rather cosmopolitan in comparison. and yet still the ladies flocked to the hugh.

how did this all work out for me? quite well, as point of fact. in truth P was a little hesitant in trying the greek fags, as he had "heard stories", and they were not tales which he was at all comfortable with. i gave him several assurances, however, and so he tried, and found that they were indeed most splendid.

is there any chance of this post featuring a picture of me with an enormous glass of gin, loaded with all sorts of fruit but of a predominantly citrus based nature? sure, of course.

no, i am not really a gin fan. there was a period that i wished i was, of course. like most who saw the film, my conclusion on seeing Bowie in The Man Who Fell To Earth was that it must be awesome to just sit in one of them roadside cafe things, wearing a splendid hat and just basically drinking loads and loads of gin. i went off and gave this a try, then, but found that i was not overtly keen on gin. as that was well north of twenty years ago, however, who knows? maybe i should try again, perhaps i have developed a taste for it.

was this not all a quite costly venture? it depends on how you look at it. should you take the entire spend and weigh it against that which was gained from all of this, i think a "break even" point was most decidedly reached.

perhaps it is fair to say more than break even, as in a slight weight push in the direction of that which was gained, when you consider the below "animated gif" thing. in a rather kind gesture, Phil, who has requested to be referred to as P here, agreed to smoke one of the greek fags in a "very hugh laurie way".

yes, i would have very much liked to have experienced this in what one might describe as the natural environment for a hugh laurie impersonator / tribute act, which is leicester apparently. my understanding is that leicester is "all sangrias and sunchairs from 10am every day", which sounds quite lovely. one never knows what the future holds, perhaps one day this will happen.

since he is central to all of this, for he provided the greek fags what made it possible, where is Spiros? that is a good question. no, i am not protecting him as usual here, i really don't know. well, maybe. reviewing my correspondence with him, the greatest legal mind of his generation, it seems that the last thing i sent him was a "know your own urine" guide. perhaps he has taken this with him as he goes about his proclivity for making short term but nonetheless mutually beneficial friendships with gentlemen (preferably in uniform) in bathrooms and other such public lavatories and restroom facilities.

one more picture emphasising how the ladies flock to hugh laurie impersonators (tribute acts) whilst they are enjoying a greek fag? i see no real reason not to share another. how about, to "mix things up", this time we see it in all the glory possible with the nintendo gameboy mode?

right, ok, well, then, that's that. i really do not believe i have much more else to say on this. actually, and you may well have noticed, i ran out of things to say about this several paragraphs ago. but, with all these pictures, i may have added some padding and a bit of waffle.

by the way, i was only going to publish this in february, but Phil, who wishes only to be referred to here as P, got a bit Australian about that and insisted it be this month. so, here.

if for some reason i find myself in another land, smoking cigarettes of greek provenance, in the presence of some form of impersonator or tribute act, yes, i shall surely do all that i can to record or capture the moment and share it here.


until then, then,



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

from chaos to harmony

howdy pop pickers


and so we have been blessed with a third "single" from the newly once again solo artist Ian Brown, look you see. unless you read (and rely on) NME, as they are reporting on this third track to be released, or "dropped" in apparently modern parlance, as the "second". what a shame, they are missing out on Black Roses.

this third and presumably final (prior to the album release) track is called, as the title of this post gives every indication, From Chaos To Harmony. it's a bit of a loose, varying tempo stoned blues traveller number with a fair bit of wah wah pedal guitar on, the latter by none other than Ian Brown himself. effectively it's the sound of the sort of thing we have been led to believe that John Squire wished the band he and Ian were in, the name of which escapes me for the moment, to sound like. and no, that is not where subtle and in no way subtle references cease.

let us be honest and clear on this one, or if you like about this. under no circumstances can you be Ian Brown, as in the Ian Brown, and casually reference or use words like "stone" and "roses" in a song without it having a very overt meaning and implication. make what you will, then, of lines such as "dried up roses all turned to stone, born again? you don't know you've been born" and "dried up roses all turned to stone, too much poison to ramble on". quite hard not to hear that as giving every indication that the wonderful adventure which has been the return of The Stone Roses has really all come to an end. he rounds all of that off with one of his favourite things from the latter stages of his pre-reunion solo stuff; that is noting how "Own Brain" is an anagram of "Ian Brown".

other Roses references are apparent in the lack of a mountain of lyrics to hide them in. we get mentions of a "magic carpet ride" (Where Angels Play) and "the kingdom's all inside" (Breaking In To Heaven). it shall be with interest that i seek out interviews, if he grants them, at the time of the new album, Ripples, coming out. but of course journalists are going to ask of The Stone Roses, it's just a question of whether or not he will answer. if you go back 20 years, as opposed to forward, Ian was certainly not shy about telling it both how it was and how it is when Unfinished Monkey Business came into the world.

well, that's three really good songs the world has had chance to hear from Ripples. bring on the album, i say, or says i.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a high wind in the trees, a cold sound in the air

hey there


i am aware of a quotation, look you see. not just any quotation, to be sure, but a quite fancy sounding one off of one of them philosopher type dudes. fancy sounding, indeed, but when you think about it one which simply states the (possibly bleedin') obvious.

anyway, the quote is something along the lines of "life must be lived forwards, but can only be understood backwards". yes, it sounds all clever and poignant and that, but since none of us know how much time we have, or what will happen with whatever period we have here on this particular planet, this is not as profound as the Welsh one out of the Manic Street Preachers who brought it to my attention might think it is.

no, ostensibly certainly i am aware that all of the Manic Street Preachers are Welsh, but you know the one i mean. the really or uber Welsh one off the band. more on that later, if i remember. but for now, to get to the point, the relevance of the fancy philosopher quote to this post is that if one doesn't know exactly when the end point of life is, then one truly cannot be sure as and when they are having a so-called "mid-life crisis".

which all makes it tricky, perhaps even a bit of a bugger, to understand or otherwise contextualise my recent decision to purchase a can of lynx (axe) apollo deodorant as being either a symptom of me having a midlife crisis or some other sort of matter for concern.

this is not, of course, my first experience with lynx apollo. i have purchased this particular make and model before, and did not particularly care for it. as a deodorant it kind of serves a purpose, but the scent is not really all that enthralling. curious, then, that lynx (axe) elected to call this "apollo", as it would strike me that this is not a suitable, fitting or respectful tribute to any of the well known people, projects, deities or what have you which one would normally associate with the name Apollo.

now that i think, for what reason is it that whoever makes lynx (axe) decided to name any of their produce after a concept so complex as Apollo? as per previous reviews of this lynx business, the main purpose or point of all lynx deodorants is that it is used by feral, rather unsavoury teenage types to attract a mate for breeding purposes. people, you would argue, of an age, social class and educational level that would care not for any of the incarnations of Apollo.

so yes, then, midlife crisis. am i in the midst of one, i wonder? probably not, in truth, for as i have established in previous posts according to science i am immortal, what with a lack of evidence of an empirical scientific nature that i can die or otherwise be killed. should i be here forever, well, then, there is not really going to be any "middle bit" for a crisis or anything else, is there?

on the off chance that i am not, as point of fact immortal - let me dare to say the lack of scientific evidence does not matter and i shall take it on faith that i can indeed die - then there is every chance that i am in the middle part, heading towards the business end. which may well go some way towards explaining why, as illustrated above, i appear to have ended up as part of the cocktails brigade.

so anyway, there i was, stood in one of them supermarket things, before the altar what the supermarket proprietor had designated as being for the celebration of deodorants. i dismissed the concern that i am not a feral teenager and set about selecting a can of it. despite several variations of it that i actually like (well, two) being available, for some inexplicable reason i found myself internally vocalising "yeah, go on then, i fancy some Apollo for a change". as my arm protruded to pick up a can and place it in my shopping basket i had a sense that i was doing wrong, but i proceeded anyway.

did i mention to Spiros that i had apparently joined the cocktail brigade? yes, in passing. he was tremendously excited about it, and with some enthusiasm proceeded to state that he had some rather splendid cocktails to share with me. it was not, believe me, all that long into the conversation that it transpired Spiros had heard "cocktails" as "cock tales". unfortunately i cannot share with you any of the details of the subsequent conversation, but i can assure it was all rather exciting.

indeed, Spiros enthusiasts, that above is - unless i am mistaken - the first picture of Spiros for 2019 to be showcased here. a heavily censored or edited one for security reasons, to be sure, but nonetheless a most splendid image. what is he up to here? something something peninsula, something something nuclear proliferation, something something negotiated disarmament, something something Korea. oh yes, don't you worry, he will be making a pile of coins of money off of it.

any lingering regrets about my decision to purchase a tin or if you like can of lynx apollo? my understanding would be that this post exists purely to expunge or otherwise address those regrets; to face them and try to make sense of it all. just what the devil, what the bloody hell, for goodness sake what on earth was i thinking?

to make matters worse - or better - i took a decision to wear / use the vast majority of this can of lynx apollo in an area of England, or the wider United Kingdom, known as the black country. further, i combined its use with some "new" hair gel what i got off of Poundland; one that they advertised and promoted as being either used in or "of" London.

a certain element still exists within marketing and advertising circles (actually squares) that believes referring to something as being "the London" or "of London" makes it, in the mind of consumers, superior and better to all others. yeah, sure. whilst there is much of merit to, from, and about London, let us not forget some things. like, for instance, their inability to elect a decent mayor. or the fact that London black cab drivers prefer you not to pay your fare in any combination of Euros, Scottish Bank Notes or Northern Irish Bank Notes. believe me, try the latter and just see what happens.

how does the gel perform? not so bad, as you will see in the very next picture. appearance wise it is rather suspect, though. it is a purplish concoction, far too explicit to publish here as it looks like the secretions or other such discharges what might be made by a fiendish alien sexual beast off one of them space movies.

well, with little else to say, and there being every chance that you are quite excited by the promise of the above, here you go - a picture of the hair gel in action. and yes, another brave venture into the world of cocktails.

oh yes, that whole Manic Street Preachers and Welsh and philosophers thing. actually, i did have something to say further about it in mind, but i cannot recall what it was. never mind, i suppose if you really wanted to know you could listen to a couple of their albums and see if you can't work out whatever observation it was i was contemplating.

it would be highly unlikely that i shall purchase or obtain any further cans of lynx apollo. my hope, perhaps aspiration, is that this whole sorry episode has now got whatever it is that was in my system about it well and truly out of my system. but, you never know. should i for some reason by another can of it, i will do everything i can to let you know.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

welcome to ladies night

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the banking and financial dealings act 1971

hello again


it is undoubtedly the case that many of you, being in a new month within a new year, look you see, are visiting this site so that you may inspect and review the calendar. something of an unexpected trend, commencing i believe in 2017, is that of you, the people, seeing my blog as a means of escaping the trappings of having a calendar of your own. well, why would you go to such expense when one is available here, for free in relative terms?

here we go, then, with the grand unveiling of the calendars i presently have in place for 2019. yes, just the two for now. my expectation is to have one, two, maybe three more in the not too distant future. by february and march, one can pick up a calendar for the year that has relevance to some 75% of the year for mere pennies.

speaking of pennies, this first one, presently beautifying the wall of my elevated shed, was at a standard price south of £1. how far south of £1? the tune of 21p comes to mind. whereas i do not have the receipt to hand, i am pretty sure it was all of 79p. and that was full price for it.

no, i have never really been a "car" person as such, seeing vehicles of this nature as either a means to an end or just simply somewhere that one can play some vibes as they go about their business. but how could i resist the honest wording of this calendar?

by calling this "retro cars", the producer of this calendar has revealed that they are under no illusions. they do not seek to distort the definition of certain words, flat refusing to label any of the cars featured as "classic" or "vintage". true, yes, it says that some of them are "treasured", but that's an individualistic thing, and not some broad proclamation about the value of these vehicles in the wider eyes of the members of the public.

what do we have first up? and a rundown on the dates for january, since we are here? why, it is the 1989 audi quattro, presented in the greater glory of Commodore 64 mode for ease of reference.

in fairness, an earlier, south of 1983 variation of the audi quattro did indeed achieve "vintage" or if you like "classic" status by being featured in that Ashes To Ashes tv show; the one that was a bit like Life On Mars but not quite so good. although Frankie Goes To Hollywood did feature on the soundtrack.

the one other calendar i presently have on the go in the house? it's down in the kitchen, and as last year it is one of them Winnie The Pooh ones. provenance is, but of course, Poundland, who agreed to sell it for me for a rather well balanced, neither north nor south figure of £1. which is one pound british sterling, for those of you reading that quite like such matters to be presented in the way that currency traders and foreign exchange types might look at it.

speaking of a look, before we look at the calendar itself, a glance at the most disturbing disclaimer on the back, or if you prefer the reverse, of the calendar. who knew that not even the humble calendar would be free of the fear of our litigation and liability loving modern world?

as it all seemed rather intriguing, i thought it best to have a gander at this Banking and Financial Dealings Act 1971. the implication of this warning is that any given government of our land could theoretically change the name or number associated with a date, at will and "at short notice".

my understanding of it all is that it allows government, with the consent of the Queen or otherwise ostensible Head of State, to call or declare a public holiday as and when it is believed to be in the pursuit of the common good and the greater need. but, also, yes, technically (technically) the government could (could) use this great power to fanny about with us all via the calendar.

just for example, it might be that we get a completely bonkers prime minister; one even more unsuitable or incapable of rational work that the ones we have had. which is saying something. should for some reason they have a scary majority of elected officials who fear them, and further for no reason which becomes obvious they had a hold over the Head of State, they could effectively change every single day of the year to January 26, if for some reason they really, really liked Australia.

that's January 2019 according to the Winnie The Pooh calendar, then, as usual presented via the eyes of Commodore 64 mode. for the pleasure of people looking at it, the image for the month is of Winnie (the Pooh, not Mandela) with "a collection of thing". this collection appears to be mostly leaves and feathers. perhaps that is what bears like.

returning briefly to that whole "banking and financial dealings" act nonsense, there are of course many scary things which could come about in the hypothetical scenario i have presented. the mind boggles at the ruin and chaos which would ensue if a (reasonably) freely elected government decided that i wish it could be christmas everyday by Wizzard was the best way forward for the country. landfill sites would be filled with irrelevant, discarded traditional calendars, and indeed all the leftover bits from loads and loads of christmas crackers.

does history hold any examples of governments meddling with calendars, showcasing their apparent inherent ability not to meddle with things? surely, yes. our friends in France are quite the masters of calendar tampering. i suspect, through my rudimentary knowledge of the world, that this was always done in good faith, with a succession of leaders and political control systems seeking ways to make France, and by default the French, "a little bit less rubbish" in both the eyes of and in comparison to the rest of the world. none of them worked as far as i am aware, with the punchline there being the surprise that the oxymoron sounding concept of a really good French idea somehow failed.

indeed, there you have it, the most splendid front of the Winnie The Pooh calendar. for those of you with an interest in what the front of a calendar looks like, as opposed to the "business end" held within. takes all sorts for the world to work in the way it does, i suppose.

perhaps this is just me, but all the same i am struck by the notion of this look at the calendar for the month has been more informative, in terms of giving information, than has perhaps been the case with the, what, last 24 (or so) such updates. it would, further, strike me as being rather unlikely that all future editions / episodes will be of a similar nature to this, but one never knows.

anyhow, let me let you get on with planning your month ahead with these two looks at the calendar, if that is indeed why you are here to look at all of this.




être excellent l'un pour l'autre!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

random bowie - david bowie

Howdy Pop Pickers


And so new year, new edition (or episode, look you see) of Random Bowie. Well, as confessed earlier, an increasingly less random thing, for the end is near. Just the three officially (or unofficially too) recognised releases to go. This particular one might benefit from being called How It Started, for it goes all the way back to the first album, at least as per the commonly agreed method of counting them.

With that, a confession - I have never, ever owned this debut album, David Bowie, in its standard released format. Something of a surprise, perhaps, but I have never seen the point of the expense. As shall be explored here, all of the songs what form the album are available across numerous compilations and cash ins.

Such confessions are, I suppose, a tradition for this first day of a new year. I have always been of a mind that so-called "New Year's Resolutions" are nothing more than "New Year Confessions", for whatever it is you have resolved to do or stop doing is a confession of something lacking in your life, no? Well, anyhow, if someone out there somewhere wants to gift me the David Bowie album proper at some stage, I would be delighted to accept it. For now, however, I get along just fine with all the tracks (and more) spread over a couple of discs. About four or so, I believe.

Of all the myths and legends in the world of rock and roll, please let the one of exactly why David Bowie became a musician be true. According to the legend, David's heart, mind, talents, aspirations, dreams and ambitions were all focused on being an actor. Right up until the point at which Hermione Farthingale broke his heart. It is apparently at that point he elected to turn his back on "her" profession, that of acting, and concentrate on music.

How plausible is it that the above is true? Quite. As Bowie confirmed in VH1 Storytellers, peculiar reactions were not out of the question. This is a chap who, assuming the music direction decision is true, would also go on to shave off his eyebrows in response to Mott The Hoople rejecting his offer of the song Drive In Saturday.

Anyway, to the music. Let's skip the 1965 "Davy Jones and the Lower Third" business, for actually I might not have them songs. But I do have a CD called 1966, now credited to David Bowie but at the time it was all credited to David Bowie and the Lower Third.

Is the CD, are the six songs on it, any good? Well, they are not bad as such. Mostly I would say it's 15 minutes of "not quite top division, but far from lower division" standard 60s pop stuff, with the one exception. That exception would be Can't Help Thinking About Me. It's a really good song in its own right, but would seem to have extra special significance in the wider context of the works of Bowie.

First off, he himself, as in David Bowie, clearly thought fondly of it. Not only did he perform it as part of his VH1 Storytellers set, he also included it in the Nothing Has Changed compilation. There are plenty of clues in the lyrics as to why this one might have stood out. A few themes that would recur throughout his career - time, guilt, solitude, remorse and questions of faith - get a look in during this less than three minute song. He also references someone calling his name and having a conversation - something I think only ever happened again on a song once more, Teenage Wildlife off of Scary Monsters.

On to the music that would form the album David Bowie, then, the so-called "Decca" recordings, called such probably because they were recorded by Decca and released on the Deram  record label. Yes, the record label that famously rejected The Beatles, and so signed absolutely everyone else thereafter for fear of missing out on something quite so lucrative. And, you would have to say, that worked out well for them, since they signed The Rolling Stones.

How best to describe the music of David Bowie on David Bowie and the era recordings? To my mind, "trippy hippy" works very well indeed. If I were to use (admittedly at the time far more successful) contemporaries and peers as a description, virtually all of the songs seem influenced by the narrative lyrical style of The Kinks and Small Faces, with the musical sound being a breezier version of the psychedelia being brought to the world by Pink Floyd and Cream. Add a dose of whimsical Donovan to that, and there you have the sound.

This may seem like a cliche, but the one song more or less exempt from the above is Space Oddity. Yes, here in its original format it very much has a "trippy hippy" sound. It's easy to say this in retrospect, knowing what happens next, but it does stand out as different from the rest of the material. Not necessarily better or worse, just entirely "different" in content lyric and style.

Indeed, ha ha ha, hee hee hee, it would be wrong of me not to mention that The Laughing Gnome is of course included in these records. Was this a desperate shot at fame with a novelty record, or did it reflect what would become David's renowned ahead of his time thinking in understanding that children's records, books, etc all tend to have a very long shelf life? In either case or any other, the song isn't one I play often, but it is fun. No way is it as "cringe-worthy" or "embarrassing" as some have dismissed it. The word they are looking for is "fun".

For all you fans of throwaway trivia, it was of course around the time of the 1990 (ish) SoundAndVision "Greatest Hits" shenanigans that Bowie's The Laughing Gnome came back into public consciousness. No, not at the behest of David himself. When promoting his "greatest hits" concert, Bowie set up something which came to be known as the "dial a Dave fave" telephone line in each country where he was to perform. The idea was that the fans phoned in and voted for songs they wanted on the set, with the winning songs (presumably those with the most votes) would be performed, ostensibly as an encore. NME, or if you will NME, wasted no time at all in setting up a rival voting system, encouraging people to phone their special number so as to prompt David to perform The Laughing Gnome as part of the UK leg of the tour. I seem to recall that the NME claimed they got "a lot" of support. As for what Bowie made of it, there were reports that he was either "amused" or "quite cross" by it all. It is entirely likely that his reaction was both of them, and then a few things in between.

My favourite song from this era is When I'm Five, which for some reason had a promotional film made for it, despite not featuring on the David Bowie album, or being released as a single. Go figure. There are a number of reasons why I like this one. The grandiose production values for a start. And, to be sure, that it is a first indication of the singing style to come - very much David Bowie, but Bowie "channelling" a character, in this instance the four year old narrator. Much of the other material from this time has Bowie sounding like he is trying to sound "a bit" like the likes of Ray Davies, Steve Marriott and indeed Donovan.

Lyrically it's a treasure trove. Evocative and provocative images are abound. Like, for instance, the "magazines in Mummy's draw", an image he, you could argue, conjured up again with the mischievous "pictures on my hard drive" lyric in The Loneliest Guy. The frequent Daddy references are also quite an untold story told in the plain sight of this song. My favourite line, however, has to be "I saw a photograph of Jesus and asked him if he'd make me five", a line repeated presumably for David to see if anyone was listening properly and picked up on the fact that such a photo existing might be rather unlikely......

Beyond the songs highlighted above, are there any lost gems lurking on either the David Bowie album or any of the associated recordings? Not particularly, in truth. And yet just about all of the songs provide decent, easy on the ear listening. It all sounds pretty similar to the vast quantities of easy beat, swing tunes produced (churned out?) in the 60s, with record labels and aspiring bands alike all hoping to hit the big time. Yes, back then people went and bought records, with real coins of money. Quite a sustainable business model it was too, for a little while.

A trick with the similar sound to what was going on at the time was that these recordings became, to a degree, anonymous. This debut album - and the general consensus is that the label hastily cobbled together what recordings they had rather than it being a thought out album structure - didn't sell particularly well on release. But, you never know - of those who bought it, maybe one or two clocked that this David Bowie guy was the future; that what they heard was enough for them to know he would go on to be one of the greatest and most important artists of the next decade, if not for most of the last half of the 20th Century and a little bit of the 21st.

There is, then, no way I would come along and say "oh, you can see the genius in these early recordings, you just knew he would go on to greatness" on the basis of the David Bowie recordings, not even knowing what we know now. Which prompts a kind of interesting question. Just what if the USA and USSR didn't get all excited about a "space race"? Had there been no superpower race to the Moon, and subsequently no Moon landing for which the BBC elected to use a song called Space Oddity on their coverage and broadcasts, would we still have had the David Bowie we know of today? Probably not, no, in truth. Perhaps in some parallel universe where no Moon landing took place every now and then Love You Til Tuesday or When I Live My Dream gets a spin on a radio station, introduced as a "hidden gem" from the 60s, recorded by an obscure and strangely named London lad called David Bowie. I am then quite happy to be living our version of the universe, then, where he is much better known. Formidably so.

So, all things considered, are these pre-Space Oddity (album) songs and recordings worth the time of you, the casual Bowie fan, or you, the music fan? Well, kind of. Overall they are decent quality songs, if not masterpieces. Curiously, they would be most splendid for anyone who doesn't really care for Bowie's better known work, but happens to be quite the admirer of any of the 60s acts I have mentioned above as being clearly influential on the songs. No harm would befall anyone who selected to purchase these recordings and elected to play them. Least of this harm would be financial, for the sets - other than the album called David Bowie itself - usually go quite cheap.

Hey now, then, well, that's about that for this episode. Just the two more to come, then. After this there really is only one album I can go to next I suppose, at least for those reading all of this in the order I throw them out onto the internet. Or "net of inter", should that sound better.

My thanks as ever to those of you who take the time to come and read these posts, or drop by to have a look at the pictures.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!