indeed i have gone done watch some more videos (discs), look you see. so of course i feel somewhat compelled to write a few notes (or what have you) here. what else, precisely, would i do with this blog, or what time i have left.
a bit like with my regular, yet infrequent, post on books, coming up (well, below) is an image of the spines of the videos (discs) what i watched. there shall be no "spoiler free" zone after that. so, have a look, and if you fancy reading more that's nice but proceed with caution if you wished to watch any of them with any sense of innocence or ignorance, the latter not in a bad way.
these are all not presented in any particular order. randomly listed, i suppose. but, that said, probably best to start off with the one that went right ahead and prompted the "kind of" in the title. with the kind of being that i didn't actually watch this one all the way through. yes i did, kind of, but the last hour or so on fast forward, or whatever the disc equivalent of that is.
when i saw The Chosen One Legend Of The Raven, or whatever the f*** it is actually called, down the market i thought man that is one really, really sh!t cover. partially i recalled that Terminator Woman had a similarly bad cover and that turned out quite decent. mostly, though, i saw the name Carmen Electra, and also someone called Shauna Sand Lamas who(m) was billed as a Playboy Playmate, plus and 18 certificate so i assumed that i would get, at least, £1 worth of nudies. no.
by some margin i would say this is easily the biggest load of sh!t i have ever attempted to watch. it was really, really f*****g awful, man. as in the later, non-Guttenberg Police Academy films are totes better than this. it has an incoherent plot, not helped by some narration turning up after 15 or so minutes. there is a chance it is supposed to be a rip off of The Crow, somehow. when some lass ran off to a meth (or similar) dealer to spite a boyfriend and some copper got his head kicked in and peed on (by another chap) i got bored and just skipped through the rest.
of course i skipped through it in the hopes of getting some nudies. and there was some, female and topless only, all filmed in a "sensual" way, meaning all dimly lit and not very interesting. this beggars belief but i actually think the people what made this film assumed that what audiences would wish for is to see Ms Electra and Ms Sand Lamas flexing their acting chops. complete and utter f*****g rubbish, just avoid this no matter what else you do.
now for one i was pleasantly surprised by on a revisit (or rewatch), even though there's no nudies in it. having seen it down the market i decided sure, why not, let me watch Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 again for the first time in 30 or so years.
living in the UK in the 80s meant that you could get Fangoria magazine but not see some 80% of the class horror films they featured. thanks, BBFC. come the 90s and a combination of Dad doing business trips to America, a good friend being able to convert NTSC tapes to PAL and my brother having the vision to ask Dad to pick up the video (actual) meant we got to see it, eventually.
finally seeing it was somewhat underwhelming. the audacious genius, the brilliant filmmaking of the original was all jettisoned to turn it into what felt very much like a "hey ho" standard slasher film. but i was highly impressed to find the source of samples used by S'Express on their boss tune Hey Music Lover and one of the remixes. and here's some footage of the lines they used.
my thoughts on having watched it again are mostly that it isn't too bad at all, really. not great, but all the same a reasonably enjoyable 90 minutes or so. well, enjoyable if, and this is quite a big if, you like the idea of people running around twatting people with chainsaws. as it happens, i very much do. some nudies would possibly have elevated my review of it, but the scantily clad DJ called Stretch running around is most agreeable. unlikely ever to be spoken of as one of Dennis Hopper's finest works, but he is quite decent in it.
i did indeed have this on video (actual) in the 80s. an oddity, as this was a film we had seen in the previously mentioned Fangoria that the BBFC allowed us to see. this and Return Of The Living Dead got rented, pirated and watched on repeat. from what i recall this was just abut the only film from legendary studio Troma that got a fuss free UK release, unless Toxic Avenger did too.
next up is one of them "classic" films that i had never gotten around to seeing. which is somewhat odd, or maybe peculiar, because legend has it that The Treasure Of Sierra Madre was in some form one of the inspirations for the song Fool's Gold off of The Stone Roses.
just one of those films that i had not gotten round to seeing, i suppose, but when i stumbled across a fancy looking (from the USA) DVD set of it at a charity stall thing i went why not, should be reasonably enjoyable sunday afternoon viewing. and, indeed it was.
plot? two down and outs form a friendship of necessity and desperation in an effort to survive. a chance encounter with a talkative stranger coupled with an unlikely cash score sees the three form an alliance to head into the hills on a quest for gold. how that affects (or afflicts) each over the days (weeks, months) that follow is a fascinating story.
the main issue with watching this somewhere north of 75 years after it was made is an unusual sense of familiarity. make no mistake, this is brilliant, but so many films have "borrowed" from this over the years (be it characteristics of greed or other plot twist elements) that you have to keep bearing in mind that this is the source borrowed from. not always easy, especially as audiences post-Blazing Saddles are going to have a quite different reaction to the "we don't need no stinking badges" scene. but still, this one is absolutely worth a watch. if you have ever been curious about what, exactly, these old black and white "classics" are like, this one is a really good choice to watch and see.
back to my more usual (or preferred) type of (trash) viewing, then. i was quite lazy here as i know full well boxed up somewhere is my video (disc) of Class Of Nuke 'Em High, but i saw it down at the market and figured it was easier just to buy it again. an odd double set, for it was paired up with something called Howling VI, which i googled and it has no nudies in it so i won't be watching, thanks. not when i have Howling II on fancy video (blu ray).
some 40 (!) or so years later and this remained fun entertainment. indeed a couple of scenes of (topless only) nudies helps, but it's actually a well paced, funny "comedy horror" with the emphasis more on the comedy side. if anything it feels like a (pretty much note perfect) pastiche on 80s high school teen films with a few horror bits thrown in for fun. now that i think on sequel in the last decade or so, Return To Nuke 'Em High, was quite decent. i believe there was a part two (2) to it, Return To Return To Nuke 'Em High, but i never got round to seeing it. oh well. bet you i end up watching this one again before my time is up.
next up is one i had been "meaning to" getting around to watching for, oh, 25 years or so, but never did. i had no idea that it was going to be problematic. anyway, i saw The Big Tease for sale in a set of four films, so went "at last". i wished to see it as i knew it had David Rasche out of Sledge Hammer! in it, and i think he's a genius comedy actor. yes, i know he has done loads of (acclaimed) dramatic roles, but still, Sledge Hammer! rules, dudes. the problematic part came in when i loaded up the video (disc) and the name Chris Packham came up on the credits. oh. for those of you unaware, well, he had a fall from grace, so to speak. you can google if you wish, but in two words "indecent images". and yes if you prefer three words you can add "illegal" to the front.
even more problematic is that he, and the entire cast here, (is) are really funny. this "mockumentary", following the plight of a Scottish hairdresser trying to compete in the "hair stylist world cup", never gets a beat wrong. for some reason decent "mockumentary" type films never get to be a big hit yet develop something of a cult status, with This Is Spinal Tap being the altar at all such worship. presumably any chance of this being a fondly remembered cult classic vanished when Chris Packham got arrested.
quite the dilemma with this one. i mean, it's really funny, and in particular i was thrilled to find that David Rasche was at his brilliant, funniest best in this one. an unexpected moral dilemma, then, for the person i am not going to name again is also brilliant, but are you still allowed to "enjoy" performances by the disgraced? especially in this instance when guilt was confessed? ultimately i think this far too good and too funny a film to allow to be discarded, it isn't fair on the brilliant work from all of the cast. should that make me damned in anyone's eyes, so be it. best of a worst case is that all 100% of the money i paid for the tape (disc) set went to charity, if that counts for much.
last one for this post on this sort of thing (not that sort of thing) is Dredd. i had, oddly, for a few months been tinkering with the idea of watching this one again. sadly a reason prompted it, and that reason was the passing of a good friend who considered this film a masterpiece. as in he had 17 (seventeen) copies of the video (disc), all having slightly different variations to the packaging. yes, that does make me struggling along with "just" three (or so) slightly different variations of Mad Max 2 seem like an amateur and not a "proper fan" at all.
what it lacks in nudies (although brief glimpses exist, albeit uncomfortably) it makes up in fast paced, very much in your face stylish violence and action. i, with no knowledge of the source material to speak of, found that Stallone version of Judge Dredd not too bad, but if this is closer to what the fans expected then i totes get why not that many liked it. also yes, i have indeed, in my time, driven on, around and what have you the streets of Johannesburg and Cape Town which feature in the film.
putting aside the emotions of watching a film a good friend held so dear and i can at least see why he treasured it so, for it's quite class. honestly don't think i ever read 2000AD or any of the "graphic novels", so i have no idea how "loyal" to the source material it is. also don't particularly care, for any work of art that needs "prior knowledge" has kind of failed an audience before i starts. or something like that.
rather unlikely i shall watch Dredd again, but it was class to see that it had "held up" and remains a high quality slice of entertaining action for ninety minutes or so. no idea if i was a "box office success" or not, but i have to assume (alas) not, since no sequel ever came along. chances are that someone will one day just do a "reboot" of it, which is a bit of a shame as this cast and crew deserved a chance to deliver more of the same.
well, that's that. phew. feels like i went off on a couple of tangents there, between the nostalgia of sentimental hygiene and a (somewhat) "controversial" inclusion. on the latter, for the other tapes (discs) in that four disc set, i see it has Mars Attacks! included. may end up watching that again, as from what i remember of seeing it at the cinema it was complete and utter sh!t, but perhaps with the passing of time whatever the point of it was may now make some semblance of sense.
strange, indeed, that i have not spent 100% of my viewing time just watching trash or stuff i have seen before or a combination thereof. but yes, a reasonable percentage of it was.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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