my, my, that's a pretty dramatic title for this post. also likely wildly (and widely) inaccurate, look you see. but a title is usually required, and i had no idea what to call this post. actually i did, but impulsive vacuum cleaner purchase just didn't sound sexy.
exactly how does one (specifically, i suppose, me) end up buying a vacuum cleaner on impulse? usually this would be a well thought out, indeed considered investment. being fair i had thought about getting a new one, every now and then. my once present now previous one was one of them "stick" things. it was kind of all right for storing in the confines of my place of exile, but that was the only plus. charging it up took ages, then the battery didn't last long, and ultimately the sucking end wasn't too great.
as it happened, or happens, i was left with little choice one day but to, for the purposes of verk, park in the car park of one of them big massive retail shops. i am not sure if i can say it was a branch of B&M, so i will leave it anonymous. since i was very glad of being able to park somewhere i felt obliged to go and buy something off of them. my intention was to get, i don't know, a packet of biscuits or similar, but then i saw the above vacuum cleaner (obviously not psychedelic in the shop), recalled how i had given consideration to getting a proper one, note the reasonably (as in south of £50) price and went, sure, why not, go on then.
this, then, as you can (weirdly) quite clearly see in the above (and below) picture(s), is the celebrated Atlas 2 vacuum cleaner off of Russell Hobbs. it is entirely possible it's them what made my kettle of choice too. hang on. no, someone called Morphy Richards (or something) made that. think she used to do a tele show, lawyer or tv star or something. anyway, where was i?
vacuum is, of course, one of the most complex words in the english language. many believe it should be spelt vaccuum, or vaccume, or vacuume. but, it isn't. my main argument with it is that "uu" bit. surely the spelling should be "vacwm", since "w" is famously called (or defined as) "double u". quite silly to have a letter what is literally double u and then use uu in a word. perhaps that is just me.
how does this vacuum (vacwm) cleaner perform? splendidly. after a couple (give or take) of years with that stick one, this is revolutionary. the sucking power (750W, whatever that means) is at least, and i mean as a minimum, five (5) times the power of what i had. unleashing this was like switching on that cern thing, that hadron collider thing. no, not a f*****g clue what a hadron is or why one would wish to go ahead and collide them, but still.
oh, yes, it does a reasonably good job (as far as i can tell) of cleaning up the carpets. the box gives every indication that it will be smart on "hard floors" too, but i like to use the power mop thing what i bought on them. who doesn't.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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