some people live by a convoluted, yet conclusive, rule. that would be to always expect the unexpected, yet beware that nobody expects the spanish inquisition. i, alas, or unfortunately, do not live by this, look you see. so it came as quite a surprise when i all of a sudden needed some new shoes, or other such form of agreeable footwear. just recently, after all, i had purchased some shoes off of him out of Shaq Fu, and had presumed this would be it for a bit.
not so, dear reader, not so. i believe in my original review (linked above) i did mention they were a bit stiff. that has not eased off at all, alas. further, they are enormous faff to put on, what with that elevated or raised ankle part, made popular by them what do the basketball and other predominantly american things. since my feet, and legs, are giving me what one might call "jip", i felt it prudent to remedy the situation by purchasing more (further), which is opposite of fewer, footwear items to see if that would ease it all. indeed i probably should consult a doctor, or physician. the days of moi having my own, personal physician (and photographer) ceased a decade ago, and seeing just a regular one (doctor) would simply see me get told to lose weight and quit smoking and all shall be well. neither shall happen, so it would be futile to expend what moments i have left listening to such.
how fortunate, then, that when this dilemma of how to adorn my feet presented itself i was in reasonably close proximity to a chapter (or branch) of a much loved brand here in the UK. or not, as it were.
yes, i braved the world of sports direct, owned as it is by that nice mike ashely, so sadly missed by fans of a certain football club and undoubtedly due to be warmly welcomed by supporters of whichever one he can next get his hands on. should you wonder as to why the fans of that club are not bothered about any moral ambiguities concerning their new owners, to be frank their perspective is the sheer joy of who they have rid themselves of, not of who they have now.
to be fair, or "tbf" as the kids of today say instead for they do not have the time or (nor) the attention span to actually write out all (hang on) eight (8) letters of to be fair, it is so that sports direct are just about the only shop what sells my size shoe. at the least this is true at selling them to me for a not unreasonable and close to realistic price. yet this dynamic, or saving grace, was one which they made every effort to erode, or change, as i wrestled with them to purchase the shoes i showcase.
observe, if you will, the merest hint of my (at this stage still relatively) new shoes, with particular attention, or emphasis, placed on the marked price.
for reasons of clarity, that is a straightforward price of £34.99 they had them for. or, since i have not done much in the way of exchange rate adventures of late, about US$42 (ish). north of five thousand six hundred japanese yen, too. just over three thousand two hundred roubles, oddly, if we are by any chance actually allowed to do business with the ruskies momentarily.
imagine my surprise, then, when they attempted to charge me £39.99 (as in a fiver more) for these shoes. when that amount came up on the till, i protested, pointing out the price on the box. the lady behind the counter said no, the price on the box "does not matter", and the correct price is the one that is actually on the shelf from where i took the shoes. i pointed out there was absolutely no different price attached to any shelf. she did not believe me, and sent a different staff member off to look. when he returned confirming what i had said, she disappeared into lift with one of them massive 80s style walkie talkie things what the owner makes all sports direct staff use.
quick break in this tale, then, to show me taking the shoes (which are not pictured) out on their first outing. which was that gig i went to recently, via the most recent of new tube services, the Elizabeth line. and getting off (the tube) at a beloved station.
yes, Tottenham Court Road. beware, fellow lovers of history, for it has been gentrified. no cereal bars or bistros as such, but it all looks very different from how it did when it was introduced to the world in the motion picture An American Werewolf In London. from what i could work out now absolutely all the blood from that particular scene has been cleaned up. oh.
so, to resume, off the lady went into a lift. with her walkie talkie. ostensibly to confirm the price. i am assuming (or presuming) she went to a different floor, so as to "check" what price she should be selling them to me for. yet her conversation about this was heard, in full, by me, for the person she spoke to, whilst on a different floor, via the walkie talkie, was the lady stood at the till right next to hers in the first instance. i heard the full conversation, and confirmation that indeed they were to be sold to me at the marked price, no more no less. when she came back down off the lift ("elevator") she informed me how i was able to buy them at the marked price by "special arrangement".
a very large (measured in the abstract of time) amount of f*****g about then followed as she did whatever to the till to make the price the £34.99 marked on the box. should my basic (base) salary off of verk be an actual measure of my worth (which i would argue is less or fewer), then the time all of this took was, in either real or actual terms, worth more than the £5. but, principal, matter, etc.
unfortunately i have no clue how "the law" works. not sure if a shop has to sell you something at the price they have marked it, or if they are indeed allowed to just change it as they see fit. with the latter being one of the most mike ashley things of ideas ever. quite likely that they can, legally, just make an arbitrary change as they see fit, and customers are welcome to tell shops to rather just shove it somewhere or other instead. one would think, so as to attract and retain customers, most shops would just mark items at the price they intend to honour as sale value, but then most shops are certainly not sports direct, are they.
how are the new shoes? not so bad, actually. i don't see them as tarnished by the pantomime in which i unexpectedly had to play a part to get them, put it that way. the weather thing is true, for i recently had to go through some snow in them and my feet remained remarkably dry. also stepped in a puddle or two, rather than dodging them. feet and legs, with peculiar specific emphasis on the left, still knack quite often, but i do believe this is down to lifestyle choice and medical issues than choice of footwear.
certainly it shall be something of a surprise, to me and my (limited) budget, if i write of purchasing another pair of shoes again this calendar year. by the way, for the extremely limited (fewer) number of people concerned about my well being, fear (or fair) not. worst case if i get rushed to hospital and they determine i need to lose one or both leg(s) i shall simply tell people that i lost them in a game of cards, or that a shark bit them (or it) off whilst i was saving some orphans from it or something like that. maybe a skiing accident, but that would make me sound a bit too posh.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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