so who knew, then, that during the great invisible war on the new plague, someone somewhere would make the decision of shoe and other related footwear items would be classified as non-essential. i am one who has, alas, learned of this, or discovered it, over the course of the last week or so, look you see.
it was during the last throes of March when i, it would be fair to say, damaged my shoelaces. well. not my shoe laces as such; rather (purple) ones i "borrowed" off of my (now sort of estranged i suppose, but at the time) (considerably) better half after the ones i had in place on my shoes snapped. them purples ones were rather fetching, and served their purpose for a time which could, i think, be measured in months.
to say that these purple ones snapped would be incorrect. it was more so that they sort of frayed, an event which saw the cotton or nylon (or whatever) protective cover (sheath, if you will) give way, exposing some sort of flexible but not stretchy sort of elasticated spine. from that moment on they were, bluntly and frankly, incapable of doing what i needed them to do.
as it happens, yes, i am (or was) sort of organised (organized?) enough to do something like have spare pair(s) of laces about for such instances. but such foresight and planning fell a distance short of what was needed. it turned out that the laces what i had in reserve, measuring according to the packet text 75cm each, were woefully short for what my shoes required. sure, i went full tilt and re-laced the shoes with them, but there was nowhere near enough left at the end of the lacing bit to actually tie them.
normally, or usually, when one required something to do with shoes, one would pop along to a shoe and other such footwear emporium of repute, or similar. in respect of the latter, say, Sports Direct, run by that nice Mike Ashley what is worshipped in Newcastle. sadly, such places are presently, momentarily closed. deemed non-essential they are, as it happens, as we wage the invisible war on the new plague. for some new laces, then, i was reduced, quivering, to being at the mercy of what not specifically shoe based shops had in stock. ranges and options were limited and not as satisfactory as they may or even might have been.
yes, thank you, i am indeed aware (and appreciate) that i could have "gone done internet" and ordered some more of them off of a web thing. but, dear reader, every now and then one needs something a good deal sooner than when an online poster sends it and Royal Mail or other such messenger gets around to delivering. consider an instance where, for a random example, you discovered that your arse, or some other bodily element, was on fire. i would speculate - even wager - that you would immediately seek some water to extinguish such, and not simply gaze at various web pages to find an item suitable to resolve your dilemma. exact same principle applies to shoe laces, i believe.
my best guess for you is that the above shoelaces are of a New Zealand provenance, for one does not see a company from any other nation brandishing themselves Kiwi. not unless they wish to have an argument with the people of NZ. it was on my second trip to shops to seek shoe laces that i discovered these, measuring 180cm (each) and costing an agreeable, reasonable £1.60 per pair. or set, if that is how you would describe them. but a pair of shoe laces works for me. much in the way that "a pair of twins" does not, for that would seem to imply four (4) people.
very much so, yes, 180cm would be in excess of twice (as in 2 times) the length of the initial laces i tried and so woefully failed to apply to my shoes. but these are testing, challenging times for obtaining shoe laces, dear reader. i knew full well that these would be too f*****g long, but my experiences said just get them and make do; that it would on the basis of what i had tried be better to have some what were too long rather than further which were too short.
no, you are not mistaken, i did reference this purchase as being the second trip i made in search of some shoe laces for (ahem) shoes. there was, earlier in that week, an effort to procure some off of a supermarket. let me type here that it did not go at all well, but also accept and note that the next picture does a sterling job of stressing this.
unfortunately the supermarket was far too busy selling Easter Eggs and similar to give too much floor space to shoelaces. these 120cm noticeably white laces were the only ones what they had on offer. as i needed laces longer than what i had of course i bought them. a speculative thought would be that they might actually work out against the (Spinal Tap none more) black trainers ("sneakers" if American) i had. it is simply not so, and i felt like i looked like more of a twat than what is even usual, which is quite a statement. putting white laces on black shoes made me, briefly, seem like some refugee from the mock quasi ska two tone lip up fatty pressure drop prince buster wars. very much an English thing, what the Americans copied and made a bit more exciting by using something exotic called "gangsta rap", and then doing a drive by shooting with a gun off of a car, rather than just some loud shouting.
with every confidence that them presumed to be New Zealand laces would (or might) be too long, i carried on, seeking other shops what may sell laces. to this end, i did indeed find some further. having no wish to leave unsecured shoes a chance possibility, i did indeed buy yet more, even though they were presented at an eye watering, wallet f*****g price.
despite this eye watering cost, of course i bought some. one pair 140cm in length, and black, and one pair 150cm in length, with them being a hybrid colour thing of red, black and green, which feels like a flag mix. Jamaica, maybe, but i think they might have yellow in their flag (yes just done a check). as it turns out, i have deployed (or used) the black 140cm ones, and they appear to be perfect for what i need of them. the remaining ones are then spares.
right, in the last week i have spent a fair bit on shoelaces. probably a significant fraction, or percentage, of what i would reasonably expect, or at the least be prepared, to spend on a new pair of shoes entire. which, looking at these and the use i have had of them, might be the next expenditure i make. that must be put on hold, of course, until the invisible war against the new plague has reached a point where the powers that be agree to allow shops of shoes to open once more.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment