and so it happened again, look you see. once again a not unreasonable pension policy was advertised, so i (along with a few million others) in good faith invested in it. and of course, once again it all turned out to be if not quite a fraud and a sham then at the least somewhat dishonest.
yes. this, but of course, is all about the recent "Euro Millions" pension. undoubtedly you can recall this, but if not it was so that they promoted a policy with a dividend return of £170 million for an initial investment of £2.50. whilst this was a little bit north of what i would have preferred to commit to financially, the lump sum nature of the policy pay out seemed agreeable. investment made, then.
the dishonest, or if you will fraudulent nature of this Euro Millions pension scheme should have been apparent to all of us when the payout was initially delayed. it was with great fanfare that they made announcements of the £170 million being paid out to policy holders on the friday, only for this to be delayed until the following tuesday.
when they did eventually get around to paying out premiums to policy holders, the predictable happened. some sort of small print was in place, naturally, so just the one policy holder got the full pension of £170 million. typical, that.
let it not be said, though, that it was all a complete fraud. there was no "all or nothing" approach, and indeed it was so that some of the pension policy investors got a return on their investment. as luck, or good fortune, would have it, yes, i was one such investor.
should the above look like £3.50 in sterling, well, that is because it is. yes, according to the smallprint on my particular policy - that which "matched" certain numbers on my document - the payout on my investment was £3.50. if you want to dress that up and make it sound good, if my mathematics serve me well that might be seen as a 40% return on investment. maybe. it has been some time since i worked with percentages and that.
just how, what, where or why should i invest my pension "windfall"? well, that is already done. at the branch (supermarket) where i cashed in my policy, they had a rather tempting other, similar but different investment to lure me with.
it was so, then, that £3 of my £3.50 pension more or less immediately got invested in this splendid, and seemingly specifically curated from royalty free recordings, 3 CD set of The King, Elvis Presley performing select songs from motion pictures which were blessed with His presence.
as it happens, i really enjoy verk anyway, so it is not like i am in all that much of a rush to retire. besides, with all scientific evidence available to date proving conclusively that i am immortal, perhaps retirement shall just never be for me.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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