yes, i did indeed want to call this post smuggler's blues, look you see. this would have been in no small part as tribute to the halfway decent song what once featured on Miami Vice (proper tv version not rubbish film) (and i do mean rubbish). for the life of me, however, i did not know if it would be correct to say smugglers, smuggler's or even smugglers', so i just left it well alone. getting the spelling, the typing and all that is important to me. from time to time.
if i were to say that we all had a hobby, or indeed a vice, that would probably be wrong. some of us, however, do indeed have this. mine would be not so much the one as two or three. of these, the one which is perhaps the most curious is my disposition, my proclivity or my interest in wrapping up rather weirdly specific and precise toothpaste in cling film, and then posting it off on a journey just south of 12,200 miles, or if you like just north of 18,000 kilometers.
exactly how long have i had an interest in doing this? give or take a few weeks, about 7 years now. to be honest, ever since my Dad first asked (as in, insisted) i do this for him, as often as possible. so yes, then, this is all about the unavoidable fact that toothpaste what has for some reason had "lovebeads" shoved in it is once again back on the shelves for sale.
for a product that the manufacturer assured me, in writing, was in fact discontinued some four or five years ago it sure does seem to crop up on the shelves of retailers infrequently often. in this instance it was Poundland what had taken the mantle of seller of this most elegant and discerning forms of toothpaste. they had a few boxes in, and i have noticed that ever since i bought a whole stack at once they have restocked with plenty. as in, lots.
what's the appeal of this particular toothpaste, a toothpaste that has lovebeads rammed or otherwise thrust into it as a selling point? i have no idea. there has always been a temptation to try this stuff, but a sense of guilt has always thwarted this. every tube of lovebead toothpaste i were to use, to be sure, would be one that my Dad was not enjoying.
just what, other than lovebeads, would one find in this toothpaste? for those of you curious, or even interested in passing, here you go. this next image shows the three different of the four sides of the packaging, so you may inspect, disseminate and understand it all.
to be honest if - and i wish to make the if part there perfectly clear - i was going to start experimenting, or messing about, with lovebeads, then i suspect my first instinct would not be to shove them into some toothpaste. no, i have thought about it, and there is not much in the way of clarification i could give beyond that statement which would be suitable to be on this blog.
going back a little, why is it that the manufacturer wrote to me to try and claim this most peculiar form of dental care was no longer available? because i wrote to them, begging them to sell this stuff in Australia or New Zealand. not that i mind sending it on to Dad; far from it. my concern was just with it so infrequently appearing on the shelves here he might have had to settle for a lesser, other, presumably inferior form of lovebead free toothpaste from time to time.
how much does it cost to post lovebead loaded toothpaste to the other side of the world? in the grand scheme of things not too expensive. to send three tubes costs south of £10 but north of £9.50. sending four tubes makes slightly more economical (fiscal, perhaps) sense, for if i recall correctly that costs north of £12 but also south of £13. spending so much to send something that costs so little might seem peculiar, but then you have to consider how priceless the toothpaste is thought of at its point of arrival.
i suppose if the shipping and costing was an issue i could just pretend not to see it as and when it is up for sale. to do so would be morally wrong, though. besides, in all truth, i quite like wrapping this stuff up and sending it halfway around the world. or, you know, all the way around the world, for how the hell would i know what sort of route the postal systems of the world would deem fit to use.
do i actually feel like i am doing something mischievous or illicit? well, that would explain the title of this post, if i was or if i did. no, not really, but it is a lovely title. although yes, i do get some funny looks off of the post office when, for "security reasons" (as in they are being nosey) they ask what i am sending, and then i explain what and why.
for those particularly interested, i can indeed confirm that yes, the consignment of lovebead loaded toothpaste pictured here did indeed arrive safely in New Zealand, and there was much merriment when it did. some further packages have and shall be sent, so far as a balance between stock and affordability permit.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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