So, off we went to see this new Star Wars film, Star Wars Episode VIII – The Last Jedi, look you see. As it happens we went on the Sunday of its general release. This review, or think piece, or random ramblings, are being shared here some time after that so as to limit the likelihood of moi being responsible for massive spoilers. And there will be spoilers, so be warned. Or you have, to be sure, been warned.
Before we get to any sort of spoiler stuff, as much of a spoiler-free overview as I can. In these early days of its release there’s a massive disparity between critics and fans. Professional, paid critics have hailed The Last Jedi as a “masterpiece”, stating that it is “the best since Empire Strikes Back”. Fans, not so much. There’s disappointment with it all. It’s a level of disappointment which is snowballing into anger, but that’s not such an unusual thing these days on the internet, is it?
My considered and as well formed opinion, still spoiler free for now, is that the film was a not so bad, not great, fairly average Star Wars film. It has several magical, wonderful moments. It has several confusing, waste of time moments. Yes, it is likely worth a watch, but unlike the majority of other Star Wars films, it is not one that you would care to watch again in a hurry.
Right, *** BIG HUGE SPOILER WARNING *** in place for the remainder of this review. Do not read on unless you have seen the film, or otherwise have no intention of watching it, or at least soon, and care not for any ‘secrets’ being revealed.
Where to start. Plot? Ostensibly this all takes place shortly, if not immediately, after the events of the much lauded previous one, Star Wars Episode VII – The Force Awakens, or Star Wars Episode VII – Mission To Moscow as it is more commonly referred to as here. Young Rey has tracked down Luke Skywalker and is getting him to train her in the ways of the Jedi, whereas the Rebels who stand against Supreme Ruler / Leader Snoke are gathering their ships into a convoy in order to flee Snoke and his First Order.
Unfortunately there’s not been a Police Academy 8 yet, so I am a little stumped with a replacement title for this one. Except I am not. From here on out, this film will be called by two alternate names. Mostly, though, it shall be Star Wars Episode VIII – Battlestar Galactica, as in the original and proper 70s version, as it is to that Star Wars rip off which much of the plot seems to come from.
A ragtag convoy of survivors fleeing from a technologically advanced adversary who would wish them all wiped out. That’s Battlestar Galactica, that is. In order to make sure we get the message that it’s a homage to proper 70s Battlestar Galactica there’s even a subplot involving a casino planet, a la the TV pilot / episodes edited together for a film start of the adventures of Apollo and Starbuck.
Now then, ripping off proper Battlestar Galactica from the 70s is not necessarily a bad thing. It was, is, and always will be, mega brilliant and epic, after all. But it is a bad thing when it’s Star Wars what is doing it, and in doing so takes the story away from what was set up as a story arc and towards, well, towards nothing at all, really. Let’s go back a bit, then, to see where trouble with this instalment of Star Wars comes from.
When Star Wars Episode VII – Mission To Moscow came out there was universal praise and love. The overwhelming sense was delight that most of the best loved characters from the original were back. Sure, no Lando or Lobot, but still, the best of the rest. And yet there were whispered mumblings of disappointment.
Quite a few of these whispers were how the film was, in essence, simply the first ever Star Wars retold, only with some events in a slightly different order. My main gripe, however, was that they had spent all this money and gone to all this effort to bring back the original cast, yet elected not to give Han, Leia, Luke, Chewie and them robots just one more great adventure together. Instead we got Han’s story completed, which for some reason saw him go from the greatest and most infamous smuggler in the galaxy to hero of the Rebel Alliance and then all the way on to becoming a bumbling idiot shipping animals for a living.
The payoff, or if you like compensation, which ensured complaints were kept to a whisper, was the arrival of some truly excellent new characters. Rey was an interesting and intriguing character, imbued with a strong sense of the force for reasons as mysterious as unknown. Poe was the greatest pilot in the galaxy, trusted by Rebellion leader Leia and a clear cut hero. Finn was a stormtrooper at odds with being this, and his metamorphosis from a solider with a sense of doubt to being at the forefront of the rebellion was one of the best parts of the whole thing.
Certainly, the villains of the piece all looked just as interesting. Kylo Ren was no Darth Vader, but all the same had room for development. Supreme Ruler / Leader Snoke was kept as mysterious as The Emperor at first, and was certainly intriguing. Captain Phasma was a wonderful character, and one you certainly hoped to see more of as this new trilogy progressed.
For some reason the goodwill created with the new characters upset Disney, ostensibly the owners of all things Star Wars. This is the only reason I can think of as to why they effectively elected to completely change just about all of them in Star Wars Episode VIII – Battlestar Galactica.
Poe has gone from being the greatest pilot and the most trusted by Leia to someone who is thoughtless, reckless and not at all trusted by Leia. Finn becomes an errand boy. Rey kind of isn’t interesting any more, and the mystery around her is trashed in a throwaway line towards the end. Kylo Ren goes from being vital to Snoke to someone that Snoke humiliates and seems quite cross with. Snoke goes from being the curious “big bad” of the new films to someone that gets killed off early on. Phasma is shoved in towards the end as an afterthought, fights very badly and then would seem to die.
To this end, the second suggested other title for this one is Star Wars Episode VIII – If It Works For Game Of Thrones It Will Work For Us. I come to this for the propensity the film has to kill of major characters when there’s no immediate plot idea what came to the mind of the writer/s. I get the feeling that Snoke was killed off so as to be as shocking for the audience as any of the three hundred thousand or so major characters killed off in Game Of Thrones. In Star Wars, this move means that we are 66% into a trilogy and have no idea who the “big bad” is supposed to really be, as surely there’s no chance they really expect us to accept it as Kylo Ren, do they? Also, Admiral Ackbar. He / It of “it’s a trap” fame has, unlike Lando and Lobot, been brought back, but only to appear fleetingly on screen in Mission To Moscow and then to go flying out of blown up spaceship here.
Luke. Yes, Luke is in this a good deal more than he was in Mission To Moscow, but not all that much. Mostly he moans about how the Jedi should end because of his big mistake. Also, we get to see him fish and, in one of the more interesting moments of the film, milk a sort of space cow sort of beast of the field. And then drink the milk. He has a few funny lines, and for the most part his portrayal of Luke Skywalker is rather more closely related to his parody performance in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back than it is to the original three Star Wars films. It is not entirely incorrect to say that the money and effort spent on bringing Luke Skywalker back in this film is as much of a wasted or discarded opportunity as was that with Han Solo in the previous one.
Mark Hamill, as in he who is Luke Skywalker, is quoted thus -
"I pretty much fundamentally disagree with every choice you've made for this character [Luke Skywalker]. Now, having said that, I have gotten it off my chest, and my job now is to take what you've created and do my best to realize your vision."
You have seen all the spoiler warnings, yeah? The “big” spoiler secret was the return of another character loved by some, Yoda. He turns up for a few moments, in Force Ghost form, and mostly to set fire to a tree, man. As is his way. The possible excitement of this is gone as you stare in disbelief at just how appallingly bad the CGI Yoda is. I mean it’s distractingly rubbish. My much loved cheap and rubbish horror films off of Poundland feature better looking effects work. Again, what a waste. One they have no excuse for, not when you recall the perfect work they did with Leia and Grand Moff Tarkin in Rogue One, or more accurately Renegade Ten, just a year ago. Computer technology has not gone backwards since then.
Much like Rogue One, by the way, them apparently ever popular robots ("droids") C3-PO and R2-D2 are shoved in pretty much for the sake of it. They crop up for no reason, bar mild comedy relief, and seem to be there just so that they can feature in the merchandising. New marketing goldmine, the ball BB-8 thing, does get some stuff to do, however.
Any other major wastes? Plenty, sadly, and just about all of them time related. For some reason they cannot get Lando or Lobot into these new films, yet they have time to have a scene of Imperial / First Order uniforms being ironed. Yes, that bit is about as interesting as watching Luke milk the cow. But also just about all of the “Casino planet” stuff. It goes on far too long and serves little purpose. The running time of the film could easily have been trimmed to 2 hours, and it’s cuts in the casino scenes that would have done it.
One redeeming feature of the Casino stuff should have been Benecio Del Toro. Alas, no. Instead of being interesting, all Benecio does is a parody of two of his more famous roles; Fenster out of Usual Suspects and The Collector out of Guardians Of The Galaxy. In jokes can be fun, but in this instance it’s just distracting. For some reason there are people suggesting that Benecio's character, DJ, is the "Lando of the new trilogy". Erm, no. He is known to one of the minor characters in the new trilogy and he absolutely, certainly does not have a characteristic or nature which sees him save the day. Also, he has no Lobot.
Also distracting is Laura Dern turning up with purple hair. For some reason she is declared the new leader of the Rebellion, despite clearly being not up to the job. Why, for instance, does she keep the major plan of escape secret? All that serves to do is give a tedious plot element and prolong the running length of the film.
And yet there are moments of greatness. The opening, with Poe taking on one of them massive baddie ships from his little X-Wing, is spectacular. More of the same is true with the final assault on Snoke’s big massive spaceship, something which culminates in one of what I would call the greatest lensed special effects of all time in terms of space films.
The greatest scene might be the key to understanding the general weaknesses. For me the best part was when Rey and Kylo Ren team up (!!) and take on the lethal guards what had only just recently failed to guard Snoke with success. It’s a brilliant, exciting, wonderful, breathtaking action packed sequence. Also, however, it draws attention to the one thing missing from this film. Whilst them two use their lightsabers (“laser swords”, as Luke dismissively calls them) to fight the guards, you note that that there is no actual lightsaber duel in the film. Rey and Kylo do not fight, and the “showdown” between Kylo and Luke isn’t really one either.
Yes, no, Luke “dies” at the end, or disappears and fades away, presumably to become one with The Force. In a nice touch he looks out at two Suns on the planet he is on. Ultimately, though, it seems that Luke dies via means of “using The Force too hard” to simply say “cheers, Leia, sorry” and to tease Kylo Ren rather than for anything explicitly noble.
It seems that Disney, etc have made it quite clear that the next Star Wars, Episode IX, will be the last in the story. At this stage it is difficult to guess, understand or have any idea in what direction exactly that might go. It’s not so much that there’s a mystery around it as there’s no clear idea of a main story arc. At this stage, Episode IX will need to craft some story from these two episodes and then somehow end it all, too. Good luck. The final scene of Episode VIII, where a young, ostensibly slave boy hints at having Force powers and looks out towards the galaxy with hope, would have been a scene I would have held on to for the last moment of IX.
Oh, I totes get what the "intention" is here. It's far too heavy handed not to notice it. The "you have to let go of the old, the past and embrace the new" is prevalent in the film and Disney's intention with where they want to take the Star Wars concept, or if you like franchise, to be sure. I just don't get why they didn't crack on with this rather than bringing back the old characters to kill them off, and indeed introduce new characters (Snoke in particular) with an apparent link to the old ones and then just kill them off too.
What you have to ask is whether or not an average Star Wars film is better than having no Star Wars film at all. I suppose the answer, from a fan perspective, would be yes, but only just. The box office thus far suggests yes by an even bigger margin.
A disappointing film, then, if not necessarily bad one. And the more I think about it, the more I am sure I’m saying it’s “not a bad one” because I did not in my heart want it to be. Perhaps in my head I am slowly understanding that I am fooling myself with this.
But, you know what? Both the boys loved it. They thought the film was brilliant. Which is, ultimately, who counts. Yes. I know some have elevated the status of the films, but at heart the originals were always meant to be family adventure films, with the appeal centred on the younger members of families. If the kids love the film, rather than whiny wanky adults with internet access and keyboards, then that’s a win.
Hey ho.......
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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