i suspect i know what you, look you see, are thinking. you are probably thinking that any sort of advice or input as to what Spiros does to celebrate Valentine's Day is of little use one day after the day itself, with less than one year being inadequate preparation time for the next one. that's where you are wrong, dear reader. this year, lest we forget, is one of them leap year things, a instrument of torture created by the ruling classes so that they may punish us, the workers, with an extra day of labour once a year. as a consequence, although today is technically the day after the most recent St Valentine celebration, in real terms it is exactly one calendar year until the next.
it is perhaps worth intervening here and suggesting that one interested in all of this takes a moment to question the wisdom of it. i know that many of you - your number is legion, in fact - quite enjoy reading the adventures, or if you like tales, of Spiros. are you sure, though, that you are keen to see him as a source of inspiration and guidance for your lifestyle? are you certain, in particular with respect to affairs of the heart? very well, then read on.
if the above looks like a rudimentary plastic box, a "lunch" or bait tub, with some tissues in it, then your at a glance observation skills are not to be understated. if that does not sound like all that much of a fun, interesting, dangerous or exciting way to celebrate Valentine's Day in the Spiros way, it isn't. a closer look, however - both above and below - will show that there's much more to it.
but first this.
a lot of the controversy, i think, came from the fact that i could not be bothered to look at what the name of the place was, despite having relatively easy access to that name within close reach. as this picture shows, just above the elk or deer or whatever animal with antlers that it is which would look not at all out of place in a faux ski lodge, is Apres. no, i do not have any idea how you would pronounce that, and yes i would agree it's probably the case that they simply wrote down the name Aspen, a fine town in the wastelands of Colorado known for skiing stuff, wrong and just decided to go with it as they couldn't be bothered to fix it. which is, in fairness, pretty much the approach i take with typing incidents here on this blog.
anyway, certain information has been made available and become known to me which suggests that, in heart and intention, this new "where men meet" club that Spiros is all excited about isn't actually a club which was founded with a view to such things being encouraged. not that the proprietors are against such things, presumably so long as they may happen outside of their premises and legal responsibilities. i have every confidence, however, that Spiros and his chums will ensure that, despite more modest origins, it will indeed become the leading place for men like Spiros to meet in this post-Chariots era.
but, anyway, back to the Spiros valentine, and a close detail look at the contents of the, as it were, Spiros box in the precise detail afforded by Commodore 64 mode.
what exactly is in the Spiros box of Valentine love? well, why don't we do a part by part, or if you like element by element, look at it all?
tissues : something of a controversial and unusual inclusion, this, as Spiros is very much a cotton hanky man. the Spiros range of hankies is legendary. he has a collection which features hankies of every colour you can think of, although now that i think a good many of them are yellow or brown. before he goes out he always selects one of them, with the colour being dependent on what he is in the mood for.
purple bullet : this is some sort of intrusion or penetration device. i do not believe anything further needs to be said in respect of this, and i implore if not beg you not to trouble yourself with any thoughts or concerns around what intrusions or penetrations Spiros is doing with it.
in fact, let me go further and say here, distract yourself with this image of an entrance, or possibly exit, to that club he is now all excited and keen on.
how much involvement did i have with the Spiros Valentine box of love? absolutely none. i mean, i don't see at all how the fact that i bought the items at Pound Land, wrapped them up and posted them to him at his place of verk can in any way be construed as me being involved in it all. no, this is quite clearly all 100% Spiros.
whilst we are on a break, here is a news story from a very reputable source of news that has got Spiros very excited indeed, as he believes it is his way to transform one of his greatest talents into fame.
yeah, OK, it is from the Sunday Sport. whilst many dispute the veracity or accurate nature of their coverage of world events, so far as i know they have never been knacked in court for telling lies. which puts them ahead of pretty much all other newspapers in the credibility rankings.
Spiros would absolutely love to be on this show. the idea of being given a keg of cider is, to him, exciting in itself. that he would be actively encouraged to use his class karate and kung fu skills to defend the cider from any and all trespassers is the icing on the cake, or if you like the pips in a pint of scrumpy. if they go ahead and make that show with Spiros in, i would certainly video it.
back to the contents of the Valentine box of love of Spiros? certainly.
sensual lubricating jelly : i know that previously on this blog Spiros has been portrayed as a gentleman who believes such things as lubrication are cheating, whether in relation to a car engine or anything else or any other act that you may normally believe would benefit from "lube". for Valentine, however, it would seem that he elects to at least try to be sensitive and respectful of the ways of others.
charlotte church cd : a little known fact about Spiros is that he is a massive, massive fan of charlotte church. over the years he has shared with me, whether i wanted to know or not (i didn't), tales of the times in which he has spent private moments, either in a bathroom or a vacant boardroom, thinking about all things charlotte church, and in a sense wrestling with himself about those emotions. to my knowledge it was the case that Spiros had absolutely no idea at all that, during all this thinking and wrestling, charlotte church is in fact a quite successful singer. i am sure that listening to this CD, and studying the booklet, will aid his thinking and wrestling no end.
well, there you go. if for some reason you were curious or interested in the Spiros approach to Valentine, now you know.
be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment