celebrity skills

hi there

well, what a couple of days for the rich, the famous and the shameless it has been. so much so, in fact, that it is worth breaking up the dull monotony (is there happy monotony?) of my cigarette posts to have a look at a few of the more interesting things out there.

now then, where to begin?

best, probably, to start with the most sorry and regretful chap in the world. that one that feels hard done by in the grand scheme of the galaxy.

this picture is the work, i imagine, of the "friends of Oscar" society, or possibly the work of him himself via the "hard truth" social media thing he has set up, so the hard man can share what really happened.

what really happened, of course, is that he shot someone illegally. whether he intended to kill his alleged girlfriend or he thought she was an intruder is irrelevant - he broke every rule and law going about opening fire with a gun. 

if you disagree with that then by all means copy and paste this picture, sharing away as much as you like. to me it is up there with that thing certain ladies did a few years ago; holding up "HIT ME!" at Chris Brown concerts, suggesting they would not get all fussy and pissy like the lady that he did in fact hit. Rihanna or something, that one that goes on about diamonds and things.

meanwhile, here is the "tweet" thing that gunner posted and deleted not too long before his current court case started, or quite possibly during it, assuming he could stop being sick long enough to use one of the phones that the police did not steal to access his account and delete.

the internet, on the whole, is of course unforgiving and not interested in this "delete" business. this is in particular the case when one fires off something into the public domain, like this one. i am not sure which is the most baffling element of this one - that he thinks a washing machine sounds like an intruder, or that over 700 people re-tweeted it at the time. i can do little about those who chose to share this, in particular as i have in a sense re-tweeted it myself i suppose, but i can suggest that, as and when he is a free man, he has a look at my blog for some tips and advice about washing machines. in brief, LG are class ones, making nice noises and doing lovely songs rather than sounding like breaking glass and things being looted.

people who have better things to do with their life than follow the case of a silly little boy with lawyers, guns and money have been showing an interest in the mystery of a missing Malaysian plane. one such person is of course Courtney Love.

i had not really been wondering what Ms Love had been doing with her life - as point of fact, bar a passing interest in some of her music (hence the clever play on words in the title of this post), i really could not care less what she did, since it impacts me in no way.

Ms Love, however, cares about the missing Malaysian flight, and wants us to care too. she has, to this end, revealed the findings of her extensive research and investigations into what happened.

i had absolutely no idea, i freely admit and let me be damned if that is the price, that Ms Love was so good at reading and evaluating that which she can see on things like Google Earth and satellite images. i am also taken by surprise - a very happy surprise - to see that Ms Love is quite the gifted user of MS Paint, a program that i really, really like.

Ms Love has, as you need me not to say but i will anyway, had several years of criticism. this is something i shall not, beyond the comments thus far, join in with. i would, after all, be pretty sure she sleeps just fine on a night no matter what i or anyone else thinks. but this was a rather peculiar way for the lady to pop back up in the realms of celebrity culture.

on the bizarre and baffling scale, this announcement from Ms Love was hardly, say, Gazza seeing if he couldn't sort out the situation with a gunman by taking him some fried chicken and a fishing rod. by American standards i suppose it is something like it, though.

the one thing not being discussed about Ms Love's presented thoughts, theory and observations about what happened to the plane is are they plausible? the current set of news reports on information suggests not, indicating that it is entirely possible the plane has landed somewhere rather than crashed. one, certainly i, would dearly hope so, and that the passengers are in some way are somehow safe, wherever it is they are and for whatever reason they have not contacted the rest of the world.

i would, oddly, be pretty sure that Ms Love is expressing an opinion more out of concern and curiosity than what's happened rather than simply trying to draw attention to herself. celebrities using world events - the tragic the better - as a conduit for promotion is nothing new, but as much as this might put me into a minority i don't believe that's the case here.

Oscar? Oscar. here's that Deborah or Debora again, the one that i mentioned a few posts ago. Debora is held up as one of the "best" journalists in South Africa.. Debora is apparently quite respected and admired for her integrity and no-nonsense approach to investigative journalism.

Debora seems to have got caught up in the bizarre, somewhat disturbing efforts to turn the Oscar trial into little more than sideshow entertainment. Debora seems to think that John Grisham or similar has written the plot for the case, and that a dramatic plot twist is imminent. let us all hope this "set up" and dramatic turn pleased Debora a very great deal; if justice was served as it did so well then so much the better.

now then, what is the best way to describe Madonna in relation to Ms Courtney Love? as a prototype version? as one that went better or worse? tough call, although i do not recall Ms Love ever marrying a cockney film director of some reasonable talent. probably best not to compare.

let it not be said that Madonna is anything short of genius. this picture represents her great idea of marking a Jewish holiday and reminding the world that the fourth series of Game Of Thrones starts on the tele and that soon. i mean, i knew she followed a Jewish faith, but i had no idea she was all excited about Thrones.

it is not much of a surprise to see that 'Mother of Dragons' is her favourite character, really. i suspect she has a passing admiration for She-Hulk, the Beast Queen that hangs around with Lefty Lannister, but that one with the complex names that has all them dragons (well, three) is the more striking visual image. certainly it is the more striking one to "borrow" when one is trying to dress to a degree of suitability to mark a Jewish holiday. me? i quite like that Sex Midget one, he's funny, intelligent and gets to have a lot of sex. nice one, chap.


what to go back to the world of Oscar to finish off? OK.

what is this? well, it's a signature. but not just any signature. no, it is not Oscar and no it is not one of the cricketers who has come forward, with a sense of nothing but pride, to say that they signed the bat that he twatted (at least) the bathroom door with.

this, ladies and gentlemen, is the signature - "autograph" if you like - of that somewhat expensive lawyer sort of chap type dude whom represents Oscar in the current case. apparently one lady decided to attend court for the sole purpose of obtaining his autograph, and my is she proud and happy that it was a successful trip.

the lawyer, reports indicate, was baffled and surprised by the request, but all the same agreed - presumably for a quiet life and to be allowed to get back to the small matter of (ahem) defending his client. i suppose in the grand scheme of things, really, he was probably quite thankful to be just asked to sign a piece of paper rather than, for instance, a breast, a forehead or elbow. or indeed a leg, i suppose.

i imagine the above incident speaks of the lack of a "celebrity culture" in South Africa as one would understand it in the UK or in certain corners of the USA, although in respect of the latter in most places the famous can go about their business without interference. some can, of course, even record a new album in secret in New York if it amuses them to do so. many would argue not having a celebrity culture like the UK is not a void one should actively seek to fill, but hey ho, if it provides a distraction and allows one to make sense of the world and this case, so be it.

i am quite tired after all of that, so i am going to have a nice lie down.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!