and in at number 5..........

hello there


i felt, mostly as i remembered it, look you see, compelled to do a follow up bit to a blog post from as far away ago as a few days. it was the one about Duran Duran getting back into the charts with Rio via, i suspect, selling it for a week for 99p. you can, if interested, read all of that one by clicking here if you haven't done so and are for some reason interested.

as friday, or if you like the day of fri, is for some reason now the day that charts are released, i decided to have a bit of a gander. indeed it is the case that Rio has fallen out of the Top 40, which would suggest my theory about pricing it the way they did for a week was the sole reason for enough sales to chart it again.

applause, though, to the Duran of Duran for getting in at number 5 with the new, awful record.

i quite like a bit of Stereophonics, as it happens. let me see if i can find somewhere on this "streaming" business stuff to give it a listen to before pursuing a purchase. and no, much like the Noel Gallagher one from earlier in the year, my mind has not changed - i don't care how much i like the band, if they release a really bad album i'm no longer buying it out of a sense of obligation.

so, what's the lesson here? it would seem that any band or musician with an absolutely massive ego - yet one which is easily bruised - could quite easily get themselves some love and some press via "unexpected" chart position. take a classic album, one that you've already milked millions off of, shove it out on Google or whatever for a week at 99p (or £1.99 even), sit back and watch what happens.

i trust this of use to some rock star that's reading this whilst say on an absolutely enormous mountain of cocaine and groupies. note i didn't explicitly name David Lee Roth, but it would make my life have some meaning if it was him reading this.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all the fun of the fair

hello there

well, wowee, take a bow Einstein with all that time and space being relative stuff you did. i appreciate, look you see, that the fair our provincial neighbour have is an annual event, but it really does only feel like a year since we were last there. in real terms, of course, it has in fact only been a few days shy of twelve months that we last attended.

the previous fair exhibition was one we went to on a Saturday. as weekends are about to start getting somewhat busier than usual for me, i elected to whisk the family off to the joys of experiencing it all on a night. a fair is, after all, much better and feels more natural on an evening. also, as it happens, it makes pictures seem darker, so there you go, a warning in advance on the quality of what you shall see.

that there above must be one of the biggest, if not most massive, transportable or if you like mobile fun house things that i have ever seen. smart it looked, and indeed smart it was, the boys assured me.

as befits the status of something so absolutely massive, going on this was not a cheap venture. £2.50 a go was the price commanded, and for that you could only go around it once. by means of comparison, other fun houses - ones not so massive - normally charge just south of that at £2 a go, and let the kids go around at least twice.

better value, and of equal fun, was this absolutely massive slide. sorry, this is a bit of a lengthy video, so if you are on a mobile device make sure you've got battery and that you have a data package in place. well, when i say lengthy, 14 seconds or so i think. but long by the standards of video here.

the ostensible costing for this, something that i would like to think i would have gone on myself but probably would have been too scared to in my youth, was £2 a child for 5 goes. the chap running it, however, was a gent, and said he didn't mind if the kids had another extra couple of goes. as it was both fun for them and kept them occupied for quite some time, i could have happily invested our budget there. but, alas, we didn't.

onwards then, as was the case last year i think you will find if you search for previous posts, to the Mission To Mars rocket. except it wasn't a Mission To Mars, apparently, as much as it was some sort of rollercoaster ride film on the go in it. i didn't get to have a go; instead my (considerably) better half and young William went for a ride on it.

costing? £2 each for an 8 - 10 minute ride, which is fair enough for what you get. and should it be the case for some reason that you want a small snippet of this rocket in action (from the outside, since i wasn't in it), here you got, that's what you get next.

i probably would rather enjoy a go in this one, to be honest, but it all looks rather small for a gent of my size to be getting in to. perhaps one day i will find one that has a sign on it saying "big b@stards welcome" and i shall have a go. perhaps.

onwards further, then, and time for some fancy shooting.

it is pretty much what it looks like, dear reader. these are rudimentary air cannon things, made no doubt with some smart and professionally bent metal, powered by gas or something or other in order that they may fire mostly spongy tennis ball sized balls at people who are willing to enter into the battle arena.

a video of these things in action? sure, kind of. unfortunately i only considered, or had chance, to start filming towards the end of the session the boys had, but here is what i got.

costing? £2 a go, and for that the boys got to fire at least a couple of dozen of the spongy balls at each other. i happened to get hit by one of them as i tried to assist William in gaining ammunition and i can assure you that the goggles are wise, as that ball does knack and really smarts when it hits you.

this is the kind of thing i would love to have a go on with Spiros. we could have literally minutes of fun playing with this, with one of us pretending to be a blonde model that's masquerading as a big black man in a bathroom, whereas the other gets down on their knees, acts like a real hard man, firing away, only to start crying and feeling sorry for themselves when they realise that, in the real world, actions generally have consequences that bear relation to the nature of the actions.

food is of course a major element of any carnival themed fun fair. just as Scooby Doo or Shaggy to confirm that, although they may moan a bit about the ghost impostor they were required to chase away first before they could access food. no chasing ghosts for us, instead it was just straight cash.

here is the pricing that we were honoured to experience at the fair :

reconstituted and refried chips (modest tray) - £2

tepid Maxwell House coffee out of a tin - £1

tepid Maxwell House cappuccino out of a tin - £2

candy floss (bag) - £2

plastic sword with a gesture of jelly beans in it - £3

the fluctuating nature of pricing at a carnival type of fair thing is such that in all likelihood the present costs are now significantly north of what i have listed above.

back to the attractions, then, and onwards to a minor version of the major fun house.

that is indeed James you can see in that picture, if you can see him up at the top. he had a go on this whilst William had many, many goes on a helter skelter with associated school friends who just happened to be at the fair too.

costing of this one? £2 for two goes around, although this was something that James somehow managed to convert into three. as i said to him at the time, his Grandad will be very pleased indeed to learn this.

as with the other massive mega fun house, this one ends, or if you like culminates, with one of them twisty slide things. video? video.

both boys, as indeed all of the kids there, did seem to love these fun house things. they do seem rather smart. if i were to get my life all over again, knowing then what i know now, i believe i would have loved a life of driving one of these things around, gaining some sort of living off of letting the kids run around on it for a modest fee whilst i sat in a rudimentary booth reading a leaning to the right in nature newspaper.

beyond that, we did indeed pass a significant number of people, predominantly ladies, that offered their services of fortune telling and to act as soothsayers. James asked what they were and what they did, so i told him, as objectively as i could, that they claim to be able to, via various means, see what the future holds for people who employ them.

the conclusion James had of this was that it was "stupid" as "no one can see into the future". i said that this was in all likelihood the case, but if some people get some value or reassurance from the experience and they are willing to pay for it then there is no harm in it. i, for one, sometimes if not often would like some sort of reassurance or other about who i am, what i'd doing and where i am going.

finally, then, the magic of the roundabout.

yes, indeed the pricing was £2 a go, and it went around enough times to make the pair of them feel sufficiently dizzy. and dizzy is precisely what you can feel, if not sense, by watching this classy video i made of them going around a couple of times.

roundabouts are indeed smart, and i would very much appreciate it if they made them of a nature that us larger sized grown ups could have a go on. i would think it quite smart, to be honest, to sit in a classy looking Batmobile, going round and round, smoking and watching the world go buy in a strangely circular way.

a last "in action" image of them going around? sure, why not?

if you can make out the sense of a smile off of William there you are quite correct to identify that. as hopefully some of these videos and pictures have shown, both of them had huge smiles after all that they did. any queries or questions that i might have about certain pricing strategies in place are pretty irrelevant in the light of that.

and so, that's that until the next fair, which may be in a year or so, i suppose.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

synapse

hello there


i had one of those funny peculiar incidents last night. those ones that come along not so often, but tend to linger and remain with you for quite some time afterwards. i was, to my knowledge, contentedly asleep when i woke up not so much with a startle as it was one of those sudden instances.

such events are not uncommon where one is having a dream which abruptly ends with a shock, be it the sensation of falling or other such danger. this was not the case, however. i woke up with a peculiar sense of harmony, sate perhaps, indeed comfort if you like. i could remember of what it was that i dreamt, but i could smile as i felt the memories of it fall away, moment by moment. i cannot recall a single thing of it further, bar recalling the odd sensation. except that i also felt compelled to write all of this, which in fairness might say much of the sad state of affairs of my life and doing this blog more than anything else.

it tends to be a widely accepted principle of both psychology and biology that it is impossible for us simple humans to remember much of anything that happens to us for the first two years of our lives. the synapse and things like that, or whatever they are called (i really don't care; i just got excited about the word "synapse"), don't connect or work properly or something until we develop whatever it is after 24 months. i've always rather preferred to think that this is because when we start life we are connected to what some might refer to as a guardian angel, or guardian angels; some sort of link to a kind of spirit if not sense of guidance as we make our way towards walking.

if by some fluked stroke i am right about the above, maybe they don't go away when we hit two or whatever, we just simply get distracted by all that other cool stuff. perhaps they linger, and no for what reason i would not know. all i know is for some reason i felt compelled, indeed obliged, to remember to write this.

anyway, look you see, i doubt very much you come here for all this existential, philosophical nonsense, instead preferring (for some reason) my more regular brand of nonsense. so let's get to it.

i strolled past HMV today with a very specific purpose. that purpose was to inspect their new release section, to observe if Duran Duran had been given a decent amount of respect by the store, what with Duran Duran electing to both record and release a new album.

nope, it was simply shoved wherever it might fit at the bottom of a rack, concealed to the extent that i only found it on my second look at the display. my first at a glance look didn't see it, so i simply assumed that HMV had now so far removed itself from music that they did not bother with this one.

at this particular juncture of my life throwing money at Duran Duran on a whim in the hope that they might have done something decent is simply not viable, in particular at this sort of pricing. an extra £5, for instance, for all of three more tracks? i elected to give it a spin at verk on that Spotify thing, then.

it was, alas, proven to be the case that i was rather wise in not investing in this record. as in, sadly, it's just awful. i think i lasted to track 8 or 9 and then had to turn it off. the only way i can think to describe it is as it being them sounding like an irrelevant parody, almost as if they are guesting on the works of others "for a laugh" with them being very much the butt of the jokes. sad and disappointing.

rather be good to yourself, boys - simply tour the greatest hits every few years and make coins of money off the songs you and the fans love. but don't do this again, please.

other than that, the only thing that i can think of which has any particular consequence would be a strange thing which i observed in bathroom, or if you like lavatory facility, earlier in the week.

yes, that is indeed tow of them Caffe Nero cups put together and abandoned. i had no wish to have a closer look at all, but from what i could tell both were quite empty, dear reader.

questions. that's what this cup combination suggests. why would a gent have two small cups of coffee? i mean, why not just buy a bigger size, assuming that Caffe Nero does a bigger size? it is, i suppose, theoretically possible that there were two cups because two people had Caffe Nero, but i cannot think of any good reason at all as to why two men would be in a lavatory together,or at least not one that would involve drinking coffee.

my understanding of Caffe Nero, and i appreciate that this leaves me open to accusations (perhaps further) of some sort of latent sexism, is that it is exclusively for girls. Spiros, at the least, assures me that no "proper man" (whatever that is) would willingly give their patron to the place, and he told me that on the basis of several adventures he has had in one of their facilities.

if something of actual interest happens i shall do my best to record it and present it here, but for the mean time i suppose this shall do as a means of keeping things ticking over here.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the first broken pledge of Jeremy Corbyn

hello there

with all things being relative, i was up earlier than the rest of my family (as in the 75% of my family you actually all like), but this is not indicative of me being up early as such. all the same i was awake in time to tune into something called The Andrew Marr Show on the visual wireless. it was with some interest that i saw this show was to be on and i was a position to watch it, as i recalled seeing somewhere that it would herald the first guest appearance proper of this Jeremy Corbyn bloke.

alas, no. the host of this The Andrew Marr Show, whose name escapes me for the moment, said that Mr Corbyn, or "Jez" as the marketers are keen and enthusiastic to address him as, was not going to appear on the show after all, as "something else cropped up". it is within the mandate of all politicians, i suppose, to break, breach or alter their pledges, but to do so within 24 hours of being elected as leader must be some sort of new record.

his absence is a pity partially as i was looking forward to having a bit of a listen to this "Jez" fellow to see what the fuss was all about, but mostly as the BBC had managed to obtain an interview with that well known political commentator, Keith Richards out of The Ro££ing $tone$, to give his thoughts and musings about both Mr Corbyn specifically and the direction of the Labour party generally.

yes, i see it and you see it too, but we will focus on that later. and no, Dad, not his smart green shoes.

the idea of getting Keith Richards (i refuse to be drawn into this "Keef" business as i have no need to look sad in an attempt to look cool and i do not know the man) to commentate on political leadership and 21st Century socialism is, to me, exciting. it might to some seem like a move which exemplifies how the BBC has become at once both completely starstruck and entirely committed to dumbing down, but that's only if you don't engage in blue sky thinking.
 

yes, that is a packet of Winston Red, in Predator camera mode. more trouble on the horizon in this regard, i am afraid. regular readers of this blog will know of my plight. that plight is one of how Winston Red was almost affordable and was certainly a cigarette i like, which has seem major retailers apparently decide to stop selling it.

Sainsbury's was my saviour in this regard, however, as they have one store not too far away from me which still stocked them. however, that looks like it is coming to an end.

it was bad enough, yet tolerable, that they sold them for some 13p a packet more than what Spiros paid for the ones he found in London. let that sink in for a moment. it seemed a small price to pay extra, after all, for something that i wanted.

the wheels somewhat fell off this thinking today, alas. at Sainsbury's i was hit with the double whammy of them not having as many packets in stock as i wished to purchase, and confronted with the fact that they had added a further 26p to the price. it would seem i must resign myself to finding another cheaper and more easily accessible brand, then.

indeed yes this could all be nature's way of telling me that i should strive to be more successful in quitting or cutting down considerably, but i am electing to ignore nature for the moment. but thank you for the concern and the indeed wise suggestion of quitting, if that is what you are thinking. it is a silly, stupid habit and it has an inevitable conclusion, but what can i say, i happen to enjoy it. but, back to Mr Richards.

the commitment to socialism, let us not forget, effectively oozes through every single thing Mr Richards and the Ro££ing $tone$ do, be it through interestingly selected and sparsely inspiring re-releases, or through concert ticket pricing.  in this sense, then, Mr Richards is clearly an ideal candidate to consult with for an opinion on what lies ahead for Labour.

yes, i see it again, well done if you spotted it and i assure you we will get to that just now, as that's the main reason for this post anyway.

the BBC, as we are all well aware, are an institution which does not believe it has to answer or explain anything it does to anyone. it was a bold and astonishing move, then, that the host of The Andrew Marr Show, whatever is name is, explained that they interviewed Keith Richards about Jeremy Corbyn as Mr Richards "is the age now which Mr Corbyn will be at the time of the next General Election". that to me is a sound and solid reason to solicit the opinion of someone on any subject.

what was the view of Mr Richards on Mr Corbyn ("Jez") and socialism? we will get to that, but first let's have a bit of a gander at some bonza shampoo i saw today. 

yes, that's right - Australian shampoo is now available to purchase in England. wow. i mean, wow. perfect hair is, or if you like was, the last secret which Australia refused to share with the world. well, yes, ok, how they not only get away with but are also applauded and celebrated for institutional racism might be a secret some want to access, but as only a handful of pop stars (Midnight Oil, i think) have ever expressed their distress at this nobody pays much attention.

no, i didn't purchase any of this shampoo myself, for i am currently satisfied with the performance of both my hair and the shampoo i have on the go (an apple or citrus based Head & Shoulders thing. and on that note i've just clocked, who on earth shampoos their shoulders?). but i probably will buy some of it next time.

so, Keith Richards on socialism and Jeremy Corbyn. he seemed generally happy with giving an answer along the lines of "yes, no, maybe", indicating that it could be quite good, but that it could also go quite bad. he also referenced the Labour leaders of his youth, for the poorer, theoretically working class youth of Mr Richards is something he has never once hesitated to reference in interviews which he has given over the years, whether the interviews were hosted on a private jet or indeed on one of the islands that he owns.

considering the champagne socialism on the go - just go and check out all the hefty and expensive bottles of Bollinger's that were cracked open and drank straight from the neck of the bottle (how crass and vulgar), it might have been a better idea for them to have interviewed Sir Michael Jagger on the subject. but, alas, Mick does not currently have a new product to sell on that Net Flix (or "Nit Flux" in New Zealand) thing, whereas Mr Richards very much does.

the whole point and purpose of this blog post? the thing that you saw in the first two images of Mr Keith Richards and assumed that i would be all excited about? very well, here we go.

oh hell yes, reader, yes he was. Keith Richards was smoking both inside a studio and on British television. to my knowledge absolutely no one has been shown smoking on British TV in the last two years, at least not outside of biased documentaries making rush-to-judgement conclusions about the health consequences of smoking.

why was he allowed to do this thing today, in this day and age where smoking is considered the greatest perfectly legal criminal act one can do? because he's Keith Richards, that's why. are you going to go and tell Mr Keith Richards that he can't smoke? best of luck with that.

i am going to assume that just as there are some sad, pathetic and probably lonely people out there who have nothing better to do that write some sort of "blog" about how great it was that Keith Richards smoked on British TV, there are going to be some sad, pathetic and clearly lonely people who will write in to the BBC to complain about this, accusing both them and Mr Richards of "corrupting the youth". to this i say it's absolutely brilliant that Mr Keith Richards, 50+ years later, is still capable of corrupting and influencing youth. nice one man, that's rock and roll.

so, in conclusion, i am none the wiser about who or what "Jez" is all about, except for the fact that Keith Richards might or might not approve of him. going forward, i suspect he, as in Jez and not Mr Richards, might break further pledges, both about TV appearances and other matters more trivial, but i shall leave it to someone else to observe and comment on them.


smoke 'em if you got 'em.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and in at number 28......

hello there


this is one of them posts, look you see, that might be of the mildest of mild interest to someone or no one out there, or perhaps not. either way it was of some interest to me that i observed this, and as far as i know this is still my blog so i guess i get to say what goes on here.

for some reason - i think perhaps it was in relation to checking their theoretical guesses on the weather but i cannot recall specifically that far back - this morning i had a look at the "official" album chart on the BBC website or, if you like, the website of the BBC. on that note, i have yet to be presented with a convincing "unofficial" chart by anyone.

most of the chart was of little or no consequential interest to be, but the re-entry down at number 28 caught my eye somewhat.

indeed, that is the celebrated Rio album off of the celebrated and apparently English rock band Duran Duran back in the charts. not at all bad for a 33 year old album which has, for most of those 33 years, sold staggeringly well indeed. and so it should, for it is celebrated with good reason. other than the title track, it's the one that Hungry Like The Wolf is off of.

what interested me was that i bought my 2nd or 3rd, possibly 4th, copy of the album during the week that this re-entered the charts. why would i do such a thing? because that Google Play shop thing waved it at me for 99p. and when i say "it", it was the album and seven or so alternate, labelled "US", mixes of key tracks on the record.

just how many copies - digital downloads or otherwise - a record has to sell in order to chart is a debatable and flexible thing. one week could see an album sell a few hundred copies and make the top ten; other weeks a recording which sold thousands could fail to chart. it's all competition, contest and that sort of thing i suppose.

going on the very specific version of Rio listed as charting -the (Collectors Edition) i bought - shows an interesting model. in this era when "new" music no longer sells, is the model going to be throwing classic albums, made at a time when effort and talent were both required and used in making music, out at 99p or even £1.99 a go?

it pretty much makes sense to me, with me being outside of the music industry. an album like Rio, and indeed that first Bruce Dickinson voiced Iron Maiden album i bough for the same fee last week, have made their money back - and a hefty profit - several times over. costs of selling it again via virtual, "digital" channels are next to nothing. and i, someone who is partially educated and thus capable of transforming my CD collection into one that plays on an iPod or similar, have shown a willingness to purchase a "bargain" download of something that i already have a few times over.

allowing the better informed kids of today - and doddering older types - to purchase classic albums from the 60s to the 90s at next to nothing prices would clean up the charts too. get rid of all this disposable rubbish and just have quality in the charts, man.

anyway, as i said, it kind of interested me, although i suspect my purchase and possibly this blog post shall amount to little beyond a bit of market research for both them that do the google and the record industry.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

twats of the tesco trolley return park

hi there


out there in the world - the world in which you and i dwell, dear reader - there are any number of people who are comfortable with the phrase "hanging is too good for them" being used to discuss certain reprobates, villains and other unsavoury types. i do not, look you see, have the specific statistics, but in all likelihood there is every chance that you have at some stage of your life been in the presence of someone of this thinking, even if they did not utter the phrase in your presence.

i wouldn't consider myself either expert or proficient (nobody can prove anything in respect of the latter) in the wiles and ways of means of execution, but nothing strikes me as being at all good in regards of hanging. from what i gather the action of strangulation and your neck bones, or whatever the "proper" word is for the bones in your neck (ask some poncy medical student), snapping sounds rather frightful. also, i believe you lose control over the flow of any fluid you care to name when you are hung, but i suppose one would not be too concerned with making a disgrace of themselves in these circumstances due to them being either dead or very, very close indeed to that state.

it would be fair to suggest that my own view is that hanging is not "too good" for any sort of member of the criminal class. should it be widely used to punish the guilty, it would strike me as being sufficiently painful, barbaric and conclusive enough to serve as a suitable punishment for every crime you care to sentence it in regards of. well, except maybe for them students who steal both oxygen and space by blocking the way in Burger King, standing as they do covered in musical instruments and computer bags, apparently unable to decide with ease what from the limited menu they want and not having the sense to simply vacate the premises in order that normal, decent and proper people may get on with having lunch.

also the villainous scum that do this would probably benefit from getting a far more brutal punishment as their reward for their efforts.

you are indeed seeing what you believe you are seeing, even though you cannot believe it. elements of scum, for let us not mince words here, have taken the time to attach the incorrect form of trolley to the end of the chain where one returns their trolley too, making it impossible for anyone else to return their trolley to the designated area in the prescribed way.

in most cases, as you are no doubt currently contemplating, this would not be an issue. at virtually any other shopping centre, the trolley return section being made difficult or troublesome to access would simply see a patron ditch their trolley into a nearby hedge instead, or otherwise send it off rolling down the roads of the car park, where an approaching car or other vehicle would serve as a buffer to bring its journey to an eventual end. but this is not a normal shopping outlet, it is Tesco.

Tesco are, in many respects, the last bastion of capitalist pig dogma operating today. they remain alone in their determination to insist on a deposit of a £1 coin for you to make use of their trolleys, except for any other store that might still be doing this. to this end, one has to return the trolley to Tesco in the way they want, otherwise one is down £1 on the deal.

i'm uncertain of the current values of used metal, coasters and branded plastic, but i would have thought that the trolley is worth a good deal more than the £1 valuation Tesco has placed on it. it might well be the case that it is financially more viable just to retain the trolley a seek a healthy return on the £1 you paid on it by selling it on to an interested party.  i would not do such a thing, however, in particular not when, according to the tape measure i just happened to have on me, the trolley would not fit in my car.

not that i blame Tesco for this travesty. well, actually, i do if it turns out to be the case that it was one of their legion of "trolley attendant" staff that did this, or just ignored a group of lags, hoodlums or other such rubbish engaging in this action. just who is it that is on one side so bored that they seek stimulation in a car park and is inspired only as far as making obstructive changes to the way in which trolleys are placed and parked?

although, now that i think, Tesco are at fault for providing a choice of two types of trolley. if there was but one to select from, then this mixed combination would theoretically be impossible. weep not, then, when you learn of Tesco's next fall in value and profit - they are the architects of their own undoing by virtue of fannying about spending money on different types of trolley.

should it be the case that over the next few days you read a news periodical and learn of a fabulous public show trial which was held and saw one or more persons sentenced to death by hanging for their crimes of improper trolley return, it could well be that instinctively you think the matter was dealt with somewhat harshly and a little barbaric in nature. should this happen, and i do indeed have stamps and the address of an MP, i would like you to consider the hardship and plight i endured in having to go to another trolley return section in order to both return the trolley and reclaim my £1. their hanging would not undo my suffering or torment, but news of it might make me feel somewhat better about it.

is hanging too good a punishment for some? perhaps, but this should certainly not be seen as a barrier to issuing it as a sentence whilst some clever people think up something more vicious to use at a later stage.

if your weekend has involved shopping and the use of a trolley i can only trust that it was somewhat less torturous an experience than what i had to endure.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Girl in the Spider's Web

hello there

another one of them sort of guest post things for you, look you see, although not quite of the same nature as the one what Spiros did recent and, for some reason, many of you seem to like.

my (considerably) better half recently read the novel, as the title of this post suggests, The Girl In The Spider's Web, which is a novel that picks up on and continues the tale of the (surviving) characters off of them Girl With The Dragon Tattoo novels.

my feelings on the Svenska film adaptations are well known and i never read the books (i still cannot believe that my (considerably) better half gave these novels to my Mum to read and i am not at all surprised my Mum returned them unfinished and was left somewhat distressed by the experience). many of you did, however, and liked them more than i did. to that end, i asked for my (considerably) better half to share some thoughts and info on them for you, the people, to consider if you are thinking of reading. her answers for you, the people, are in italics, then, and for the most part i have quoted her accurately.

plot?

an autistic boy's father is an AI software developer. his computer gets hacked, and he believes his software has been stolen. he calls in Lisbeth Salander [the if you like hero if not protagonist of the original novels] to investigate, on the strict condition that she does not pursue or engage in interaction with the hacker thief.

i read the original novels. does the new author carry on in the same style?

yes. the novel is true to the original characters and narrative style.


i only saw the three Svenska films, dubbed into English and starring her off of Prometheus and that other thing what she did recently with Gary Oldman and him off of the new Mad Max and that one Batman film that didn't have the Joker in it or, to tell the truth, that much Batman. will this novel make sense to me?

 yes. the Swedish film adaptations were faithful as far as an adaptation can be to a book and this flows perfectly on from the conclusion of those films.

i really, really like Daniel Craig. as such i live in some sort of desolate cultural void where the only artistic statements i engage in are ones which have Daniel Craig in them. as a consequence, i have only seen The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, as they have not yet adapted the other novels into films what have Daniel Craig in them. if i break my "only Daniel Craig" frontier and read this, will it make sense?
  
yes. there's a brilliant synopsis at the start that covers the three novels. that would mean spoilers for the other two novels, but then again reading the 4th one in itself is a spoiler action for parts 2 and 3.

is the novel any good?

yes, awesome - believable in universe, does 3 original novels justice.

in respect of that last point, methinks that my (considerably) better half is understating things and does not do the apparent quality of the novel justice. i can confirm that she spent an entire weekend reading it and finishing it, electing not to do any sort of "wifey" things, be they about my person or around the house. so it must have been good.


will i ever read the novel myself? it is unlikely. i sat through the three film versions, so to spend what little reading time i have reading novels that i am rather familiar with does not make much sense.

that said, if it were not for the large mountain of books i have stockpiled to read i would be sorely tempted to read this one, going on how engrossed and addicted to it my (considerably) better half became.

there is, you would think, little or nothing else i can really bring to this blog post, except to say a big thanks indeed to my (considerably) better half for answering the questions that i had so that you, the people, may make a more informed decision about whether or not you decide to read this novel.

the next blog post shall, you would think, feature less books. i have no idea what it will feature, but i cannot see it being more books.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the books of bedtime

hello there

it's been said before and i shall no doubt say it again (other than here, look you see), but one of the saddest things, for me, about them taking the buses away as a viable means of going to and from verk is that i have lost my reading time. whereas i could read at least a book a week, now it's one a month or thereabouts. this will remain the case until the constabulary relax their views on what you can and cannot do whilst driving.
 
hey ho, you are not really interested in my plight, or my totes first world drama about not being able to read as much as i did. no, i wager you want to see what books it is that i have read, and what i thought of them.

oh, great. Apple and Blogger are at each other's throats again, so the orientation is way off on this first picture; a picture i even took in non-Predator and non-Commodore 64 mode.

the usual, spoiler-free insights as a means of a short review for those of you in a rush? Us is pretty much the most English Middle Class thing ever to exist, and i am unsure if i actually liked it or not. Haunted is the slimmest James Herbert novel i have read thus far, but by no means is it lacking as a consequence.

for those in a rush, or not wishing to have any spoilers for novels, now is the time for you to leave. thank you very much indeed for taking what time you did to read this. for everyone else, let's go on, and in case you missed the subtle hints, be warned, for *** POSSIBLE SPOILERS LIKELY AHEAD  ***

as usual, links are certainly not an endorsement or some sort of affiliation deal i have on the go, it's just for ease of reference for you. 

and yes, i agree, this post would very much indeed benefit from looking at the covers of these novels as if we were the Predator off of Predator and were for some reason looking for something to read.

i read Us after being "encouraged" to do so by my Auntie (no, the other one) for several months. in fact i think literally seven months. it was, as you can see, half price at the cigarette counter at Morrisons, so i gave in.

plot? a middle class couple are planning a "last family holiday away" before their teenage son heads off to University. it will be final in another way, however, as the wife of the narrator has announced she is "probably" leaving him after the holiday. which leaves the narrator distraught and confused.

the novel then takes the form of the narrator, whose name escapes me for the moment, trawling through the past and describing a now seemingly pointless holiday.

i mentioned above that this is easily the most Middle Class England thing which i have ever encountered. it really is the premise of a fanciful, harmless 80s sitcom, this novel. you have all the stereotypes in place - the dullard, personality free, boring profession husband, the breezy, sexually liberated, possibly air headed wife and the tortured artist, know it all 18 year old son who has, at best, a disjointed relationship with his parents. in respect of the latter, well, weren't we all at that age? they exist in the personification of the Middle Class world as portrayed in 80s sitcoms, which is to say they have steady, secured work, there are never any real money issues and they can apparently come and go and do as they please.

is the above a criticism? not really. many like to seek harbour and shelter in this idyllic, status quo to perfection sounding life. i think maybe i do to, especially as i find as i get older my musical choices are more Crowded House and Simon & Garfunkel, less angry bands telling everyone and everything to go f*** itself or themselves. novels not be gritty realism all the time; in fact for the most part they are at their best when they allow one to escape into a dream world.

it could be worse. it could be a 70s sitcom. in British 70s sitcoms is was pretty much the same as the above, only the wife was frigid and very much housebound, and the only thing that ever happened was that the boss of the husband invited himself over for tea, and best he be pleased with the casserole that his wife made him or there would be no raise / promotion. and if you are thinking that "casserole" was a euphemism for something you might find in Oriental, specifically Japanese, pornography, you would be very disappointed indeed with the reality.

i think the most frustrating part of Us is the fact that the best parts of the novel are crammed and rushed into the last ten or so pages. those pages expanded and concentrated on would, to me, make a much better novel. but then i didn't write it, and certainly nothing i have written has got the same praise or has made as many coins of money as this novel. 
 

every time i read a James Herbert novel i am saddened that i did not try him before now (i always assumed he was typical, pompous and stuffy English) and saddened that, of course, he is no longer with us. i am contractually obliged to point out that it was my (considerably) better half that directed me to reading his novels, suggesting as she did that i try the magnificent novel that is The Magic Cottage.

Haunted is strangely the second novel i have read which has this name, the other being of course the Chuck Palahniuk one. the James Herbert one, it is safe to say, somewhat less warped.

plot? David Ash, a paranormal investigator with a haunted past, is summoned to prove or disprove the presence of a ghost at a crumbling old building on the outskirts of nowhere. he has, for reasons unknown to himself, been specifically requested to handle the investigation.

to say more of the plot would be, i think, to give too much away. it is, then, as i think you can work out, an "is there or is there not a ghost" story type of ghost story. and it's a very, very good one indeed. if, as indicated above, somewhat of a brief novel when compared to the others i have read by James Herbert. but, as many excellent thin and many awful long novels testify, length does not make a novel great.

i am late to the party when it comes to James Herbert, i know. if, however, like me for some reason you overlooked or ignored his work, then i am happy to say that this novel, bought off of the coffee shop at the dentist hospital in Newcastle for a bargain £2.99, is as excellent as any other he has written and is well worth your time. if you like horror, ghosts and all that sort of thing. which, as it happens, i do.

a look at the back of the books, rotated correctly, in Commodore 64 mode? sure.

so, there we have it. two novels which i was glad to have read, although it is only Haunted that i can say with certainty that i enjoyed. well, the way Us is written kept me reading it, so it's not at all as bad as i might have suggested. and, as i said, some may well like the ideal sort of life it offers up.

next book reviews? tricky. i now get very limited time to read, and the novels i have lined up all seem to be 500+ page affairs. the end of October is the likely time i shall next post reviews of novels i have read, and all things considered it might only end up being November. we shall see.

thanks for reading this, and happy reading if you select to have a gander at either or both of these!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

potty time with Spiros

hello there


well, it has happened again. just as i pondered the fact that i, look you see, seemed to have nothing of interest or consequence to post here, my phone started pinging away and.....i was, in a sense, still bereft of anything of interest or consequence to post here. that said, Spiros took the time and trouble to send me some pictures and seeing as some of you like his adventures, here is what he sent.

i do appreciate that most of you much prefer Spiros when he is in fighting mode, taking on black cab drivers and TfL employees bare handed. for the most part, alas, this isn't one of those posts and he was, as far as certain lifestyle choices go at the least, reasonably well behaved.

Spiros, it seems, was at something of a loss as to what to do with his afternoon. to resolve this he decided to do what any gent in London would do - take a tour of key and significant public restroom facilities in order that he may engage in interactions with minor male celebrities.

his first point of call, as would be perfectly natural for any gent that had the same ambitions and designs as Spiros, was the bathroom facilities on the outskirts of something called Monument Station. i have never heard of any such place as Monument Station, so i shall assume that he has just made it up and it is in fact code for something.

did Spiros meet any gents, or minor male celebrities, whilst there? he didn't say. not helping, of course, is the fact that public opinion has swayed very firmly against people taking pictures of people in the bathroom and sharing them amongst friends and total strangers on the internet. it's rather sad that with the mood and values of people today it is no longer possible for such pictures, ones that usually have a 50% permission to publish status from the chap in or taking them, to be taken and forwarded on.

it wasn't all the glamour and excitement of bathrooms for Spiros today. far from it, in fact. he needed, after all, to be able to move from bathroom to bathroom as part of his quest, and so elected to use public transport. this was wise, as most of them stop quite close to restroom facilities, and anyway he is now pretty much banned from every single Hackney carriage within the borders of the 020 dialling code.

it was whilst on one of them bus or train things that he got to see this. 

that right there is a live action shot of someone getting arrested. well, it was live when it was taken, and there was quite a lot of action.

why was the chap getting arrested? apparently he did not have one of them special tickets or cards that you have to have in order to be allowed to make use of the smart public transport they have in that there London place. i have such a card, it's boss it is. but this bloke didn't, hence him getting arrested. Spiros reckons he was a Polish chap, but i wouldn't necessarily trust the Spiros verdict on where a gent comes from. when he meets a man, usually he asks less of where he is from but if he is, so to speak, going to go his way.

Spiros also reckons that the chap, presumably of some sort of European extraction, was led away by the TfL police in order that they might give him a right good kicking away from the eyes of witnesses who may misinterpret and misunderstand the kicking and report it as abuse of power. it is the case that Spiros has some fairly firm views on what should happen to fare dodgers, and all of them involve the dodger getting a really rather good kicking for their cheek.

any other bathrooms that Spiros visited? why yes. he reckons this one is located in a place called Pudding Lane. i have not heard of it, so i shall take it as a given that it is another place name that he has made up, probably as some sort of euphemism, looking at it.

again, he gave no clear indication at all as to whether or not he met anyone of consequence or interest whilst making use of this bathroom. i can only hope, indeed trust, that he did.

has Boris started making people, in particular the gentry, pay 50p every time they need to go make a potty? and why am i asking you? if Boris has in fact done that, well that would be at least £1 Spiros has spent today as part of his adventure. i can assure you he will have extracted his money's worth out of it.

there is every chance that the next post shall be book reviews, should i clear the last 30 or so pages of the novel i am presently busy with later on this evening. until then, then.....



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

gone are the days

hi there


during the course of the day today i picked up, look you see, some new literature for the 75% of my family that you all, by some distance, like and prefer more to the 25% that i presently occupy. and you are not to be judged, blamed or considered inaccurate for doing so.

what exactly did i pick up? well, for my (considerably) better half, one of them magazines which fill the heads of the ladies with all sorts of nonsense. for William it was something what had a toy sellotaped to it, i believe lego in this instance. for James it was the traditional values of the Beano, a whopper and apparently record breaking edition proclaiming itself to be number 3800.

it was with great interest that i saw the Beano promised some most smart competitions within its pages. it was, however, with some disappointment i saw how one entered them.

wow. enjoy this post as much as you can, for Blogger has for some reason decided to upload the images rotated the way around that i wished them to be.

i was expecting the competitions to be ones which saw you need to cut out something and post it to them, or even draw something and post it to them. gone, alas, are the days of that. to enter you had to either phone a premium number and give your details, or otherwise send a text / sms thing to them with your answer and the details. i am disappointed.

weirdly, though, this works out cheaper to enter. the text / sms thing costs 25p + the cost of a text charged by your network. should that per text charge be less than 40p (and in most cases it is), that i think works out at a varying amount less than a 1st Class stamp does. but that's not the point.

besides the various controversies around all this text / sms business (i have seen proof that some have run them long after the actual contest was closed), doing it this way doesn't really feel like you've entered a competition. it's got a very stale, cold and uninvolved feel to it, in truth.

oh i entered anyway, since i had some coins of money on that smart iPhone thing that Spiros gave me. i think they, for i entered two contests, are the first two text messages i have sent off it. mostly i use it for taking smart Commodore 64 and Predator mode pictures and sending them on.

what two contests did i enter? there was a smart one to win some fancy Star Wars lego sets, and then there was a fancy one to win some sort of smart Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles battle area. so, fingers crossed.

what's going on in this screenshot of the iPhone, taken upon my blueberry phone? my thwarted efforts to access "adult content" on it. whereas in most of the grown up world people are welcome to access what they like on the privacy of their own devices, here in repressed and censored England not so much. from what i remember that David Cameron fellow went absolutely bonkers one day and decided to insist that all phone and internet networks put a block on all adult content, with the definition of adult being fairly wide. to access it you have to jump through all sorts of loops. think, if you will, that episode of Im Alan Partridge where, in the privacy of his luxury suite in a Travel Tavern, the protagonist had to call reception and ask for them to "please make pornography come on my television" in order that he may watch a no doubt informative documentary on Bangkok ladyboys.

on a more serious note to the above, gaining access (which i haven't) reflects the unhealthy obsession and interest the people of England are assumed to have with racking up debt. in order to prove that you are allowed to access adult content you have to wave a credit card at them. i quite like the assumption that everyone, once they hit 18, signs up for the "variable APR" wonderland that is the unregulated credit card industry here.

it's worth noting that, as recently as 2000, 80% of all internet traffic used to be adult content. that changed radically in part due to the rise of e-commerce, but mostly with the dawning of "social networks", like that Twerker thing and that Face Snap Book Chat one. people are too busy, like, totes supporting gay rights causes and sharing images of cats to look at filth any more, it seems. yeah, there probably is a good conspiracy theory to be had in that, but i cannot be bothered.

a snippet, if you will, of the magnificent band Free doing All Right Now. i caught this by chance on one of them "best of the 70s" shows; one which had for some reason edited out Gary Glitter and Jimmy Savile off of the Top Of The Pops bits.

the interesting thing about that footage is, to me, that it exists. i had always been led to believe that they only live footage of Free, and Paul is clearly singing live in the above, was of them at the Isle of Wight festival. nice one, then, that there is more of them out there.

at look at the Beano contest page in Predator mode? with Predator mode rotated the right way around for a change? i do not see why not.

i don't really think that a Predator would be interested in the debate between postal entries and text messages for contests in comics. as far as i can work out, the only contests a Predator is interested in are ones in which they have to stalk a great warrior, battle with him/her/it, make slightly homoerotic grunting noises as it kills the opponent, skin it, hang it upside down, rip out its skull and then lay claim to the skull as a trophy, or if you like prize for winning. but maybe that's just me.

anyway, fingers crossed i (ahem, the boys) win one or both of the smart prizes!



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wow

hello there

it is not every day, look you see, that one is presented with what certainly seems to be a legitimate way of making a 1,000% (one thousand) return on investment. that would be what has seemingly happened to me, and no, i am not talking about one of my smart and classy pension fund portfolio investments.

i was out shopping and, as usual, kept an eye out for something of a reasonable cost that would be of amusement and interest to the boys. this i found in the form of something called Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ultimate Spin Strikers.

oh, terrific. it seems all but impossible to have "landscape" mode accepted on Predator style pictures that i take and put here. i do wish that Apple and Blogger could put there differences aside in this regard and allow me to simply upload images the right f****** way around.

anyway, as you can see reasonably clearly, this item cost me £1, which was the main selling point. actually £2, as they had two and i thought one each might keep the peace. it is worth bearing in mind this pricing.

what exactly is it? it's some sort of "battle area" thing, upon which you unleash two spinning tops to twat into each other. the set comes with two of the characters from this show, the turtle Leonardo who is the ostensible hero, and Spider Bites, a character i am led to believe is the villain of the piece. you also get two very fancy looking "mutagen" launchers to put them in and fire them off from. the battle arena itself has a storage compartment within it, making it a smart, tidy and rather decent toy. the £1 price i paid seems, to be, to be well worth it, and i would have happily paid more, although maybe not too much more. i see, for instance, that amazon sell it for just north of £10, which to me feels a bit excessive.

i discovered the amazon pricing for this battle arena thing as i was browsing for further "super strike spinners" to get for the set. apparently you can indeed get all of the characters off of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in a spinning form for it, which is very interesting news for my wallet.

it was during the course of this browsing, for browsing is what it is called when one considers offerings of items on the internet, that i discovered someone had placed this battle arena thing on ebay with a somewhat higher valuation than even amazon awarded it.

i am comfortable, if not confident, in your ability to see the pricing there in that picture. if not, well, a clearer screenshot is below for the benefit of those of you incapable of seeing things in Predator vision. for those that just want me to get to the point, as in they have no wish to either stare at this image or to scroll down and see the clearer picture, i can inform you that the price this is listed on over on that ebay thing is £999. that's £1 south of one thousand, that. and yeah, ok, that means if you want to get technical it would not be a pure 1,000% return on investment i could make, but so close that it's not worth arguing about.

wow. i mean, like, wow. i appreciate that, and subscribe to the train of thought of which says something is worth precisely what someone is prepared to pay for it. but, really? £999 for a child's toy? it's not that impressive, and nor is it all that big. if it were a "vintage" Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles thing then maybe, but it's a new Nickelodeon branded one, which means it can be no more than three years old and is not at all likely to be all that rare.

a (sadly) sideways image of my family walking along by the beck, as the Predator would see them if the Predator was for some reason following and stalking them? sure, and sorry that you will need to either tilt your head or turn your device (with scroll lock on) to see it the right way around.

a mostly lovely and agreeable walk we had around the village, if you were asking, thanks mostly to the sudden burst of smart, summer like weather we had today, but also partially because i am happy to report that there was no actual Predator stalking us. well, maybe there was, but it elected not to attack us, which is the same thing.

would i have paid £999 for this battle arena spinning top thing? no. i would be somewhat surprised to find that anyone would. perhaps some bonkers Russian billionaire might buy it on a whim, or an easily confused, healthily paid professional footballer might well believe that this is the standard price for such a thing.

that clearer view of the pricing as promised? certainly, here you go.

nope, i am not putting a link to it here. you can see the details yourself. if you wish, you can search for it on the basis of the information above, and i would hope that the time it takes you to search gives you time to pause for thought on the cost.

is the toy actually any good? yes, it seems to be. it's fun to play, and the boys are enjoying it.

anyway, that's that, for what it is worth. as for what that worth is, you go right ahead and feel free to place it anywhere you like between £1 and £999, i guess.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the Stokes dismissal

hi there

i had, look you see, something of a restless night last night, or if you like the night before this one. i was unable to doze off, and thus i was rather tired today. to that end, then, i elected if not opted to have a splendid afternoon laid in bed, listening to Blofeld, Tuffers et al commentate on the cricket match on the go between England and Australia.

this, the second one day international of the series between the two, was a fairly routine affair, with Australia posting a match winning total that saw England put forth a valiant, yet unlikely, effort towards passing that score. and then this easy listening afternoon was disrupted by what was declared at the time to be a highly controversial dismissal.

sorry about this class Predator mode being sideways; yet again Apple and Google seem reluctant to speak to each other and allow me to post images the way around i wish them to be seen.

for those unaware of the incident from today, Stokes played a fairly innocuous ball back to the bowler, Starc. Starc picked it up and threw it at the direction of the stumps, since Stokes was some distance out of his crease and the ball was live. Stokes raised a hand and, as we shall see in the video, seemed to "grab" at the ball. after a brief chat, the umpires agreed - Stokes was dismissed for handling the ball.

as one, in this case i, listened to the commentary, it was like Australia had "cheated" a wicket; that they had claimed a scalp that they should have not. the crowd at Lord's apparently booed the Australians from this moment onwards until the conclusion of the game - a conclusion that always seemed inevitably to be a victory for the men from the land down under, but has since been painted as one "stolen" by the virtue offered from this - described at best as - opportunistic wicket. under these circumstances, i thought it best to have a gander at the actual dismissal and see if this was indeed the case. here you go, you can have a look too.

yeah, i know as a Yorkshireman, which makes me one of the superior Englishmen alive, i should be rushing to claim that how this dismissal was portrayed by the commentators and the reports (in England) is absolutely correct. i, and hopefully you, can see that this was clearly the correct decision and he was right to be dismissed.

i would not suggest there was "malice" or a deliberate wish to cheat on behalf of Stokes. his reaction was likely one of instinct or reflex, but all the same it was clear his intention was to, with impressive split second timing, stop the ball from hitting the stumps. note, if you can make it out there, how his fingers close around the ball and then very quickly release, as if to say the batsman knows he's in the wrong.

there has been a claim by England's one day captain, Morgan, that there was "no intention" to stop the ball hitting the stumps, that this incident was a reflex one and was Stokes trying to stop the ball hitting him on the head. to that i would suggest for someone with such remarkable co-ordination, Stokes has a peculiar idea of where his head is.

this "no intention" thing is also baffling. the rules state that if a batsman handles the ball whilst live it is a dismissal. intention or ambition doesn't come into it. it's a bit like when football fans complain about a player being red carded for a two-footed, studs up tackle, claiming in defence of the player that there was "no intention" to make contact. read the rules, intention doesn't come into it, dangerous play does.

another baffling element of this dismissal is that there's a claim such decisions are "rare". no they are not. often batsmen have been given out for handling the ball, and in the majority of cases they walk straight away, for they know they are in the wrong. like, for instance, this legendary incident featuring Gooch and the great, great, irrepressible Merv Hughes

yeah, fair enough, that one was a good deal more blatant than the Stokes dismissal of today, but the rule in place remains the same. and it's not like Australia are the only benefactors of this - i recall a superb Steve Waugh innings being brought to an end when he for no apparent reason decided to handle the ball.

the booing and the general reaction was, it would be reasonable to suggest, an understandable heat of the moment sort of thing. i hope, though, that Stokes turns around and says "yeah, it was instinctive, but it was still foolish and a fair wicket". there will also, hopefully, be an end to the claim that England would have won the match if not for this "pivotal" decision.

for what it's worth, from my side sorry Australia if a fine win has been somewhat clouded by complaints over what was a fair wicket. best of luck, but not too much luck, with the rest of the series.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pension fund investment portfolio payout

hello there

regular readers shall be aware of the fact that, look you see, in recent times i have been subject to a number of hideous and mostly unprovoked attacks, or if you like assaults, by those pension fund raiders. i have made several astute investments in suitable retirement portfolios, for the benefit of those unaware and yet for some reason interested in my plight, and i have been routinely diddled out of my pension scheme. that is, at the least, until now.

i usually check in on my pension investment portfolio the day after the latest update to figures has been made. up to now this has been something which has come to be a disappointment, as i have invariably discovered that the pension pot has in fact been emptied with no returns being applicable to me.

it was quite, quite different this morning when i checked in to see how my portfolio had performed the evening before.

at first i thought that i had really, really done very well with my portfolio, as it seemed as though i had four of the requisite numbers allocated by the pension scheme machine that say whether or not you can retire. this was, alas, something of a miscalculation by me, but only the slightest one - i had three.

what sort of yield did i attract? it is quite crass and vulgar to discuss personal finances usually, but i don't mind sharing. my return on my pension portfolio was a handsome £6.40. this reflects a return of some 1000% or thereabouts, with that figure being particularly closer to the truth if you just look at the £2 i spent on the portfolio and discard the previous investments.

if the photographs of both the pension fund sequence of numbers and my pension portfolio documentation looks somewhat different from normal, that is because they are. do not, so to speak, adjust your set.

i have been of something of a Predator mind over the last few weeks, and so as a consequence i have obtained one of them "predator vision" camera apps for that iPhone which Spiros gave me. i thought you all might well want to have a look at it, and see how it is different from the usual Commodore 64 one that i have on the go.

it is not, i am keen and perhaps legally obliged to stress, an app or program which turns the iPhone into an actual Predator device, or even a proper thermal camera. it would appear that it just messes about with colours and changes them to give a "thermal" like look, so that you may see the world as a Predator would.

do i particularly like this new style of picture to take?  it's not bad, i shall give it that. i believe i will dabble with it a bit more, and present here pictures taken in both Predator mode and Commodore 64 mode, with the occasional "normal" picture just to keep interest levels as high up as they shall ever get.

indeed, a Boba Fett vs Predator film would be quite smart, as would a Predator vs Boba Fett film, if for some reason you prefer a reverse alphabetical order to be present in film titles.

actually, it probably would not be smart. Boba Fett groupies will argue that Boba would be able to absolutely knack any number of Predators you care to throw at him in a matter of moments. by the same margin, Predator acolytes would say that the Predator is superior, and would tear poor Boba Fett apart in a matter of seconds.

which side of that fence do i sit on? difficult to say, really. i would like to think that Boba Fett could handle himself in virtually any situation, but this is the Predator we are talking about. i think i would much rather sit back and enjoy, and politely applaud the eventual winner.

are they making either a Boba Fett vs Predator or Predator vs Boba Fett film? no. one does not see such a movie being made any time soon, for different studios own the different intellectual properties involved. it is highly unlikely that Fox or Disney would be prepared to sit down and hammer out a deal to the benefit of those fans that would very much like to see such a film.

so, anyway, my pension fund pay out. what have i done with it? foolishly or wisely, you decide - i have reinvested the whole lot (less 40p) into another pension fund investment portfolio. the correct portfolio numbers will, apparently, be released later this evening. i look forward, then, to being able to consult my portfolio numbers and see how they compare with the fund numbers in the morning.

in the mean time, for you more traditional types, here you go for i have not forgotten you. here is my successful, or partially successful, pension fund portfolio in Commodore 64 mode. 

may i wish you the very best of luck indeed with your own portfolio investment arrangements, at least as far as they do not impact on mine and cause negative equity.




be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!