lynx variations under review

hello there

one would have reasonably thought that, at my age, i would have "settled" on a particular type of deodorant. a choice of satisfaction made, and one to stick by for the remainder of my days, however many that may be, look you see. but, no, i still go ahead and experiment. well, it gives me something to compose words about here. 

the most recent adventure into the world of "different" (from what i would usually get) deodorants, or body spray as they are now often branded, did not go well. it was off to some french concern i went, and left as soon as i could. mostly, or for the most part, i have stuck with one that i both liked and seemed to work, for my aunty (no, the other one) also quite liked it. every now and then, though, i see one going cheap, or on special (which is going cheap), or they don't have my preference in. 

which is how come i have recently tried not just one, and not as many as three, but two (2) different types, or variations, of lynx of late. lynx as it is called here; axe is how it gets branded in certain areas. i appreciate the oddly international nature of my surprising audience, let it be noted. 

it does feel, in a very real sense, that no major corporate is ever prepared to learn from acts of folly like, for instance, all that "new coke" business of the eighties. recent similar acts of stupidity have seen someone decide to call opal fruits "starburst" and marathon bars "snickers". the mantra of if something is not broken do not fix it has gone. which, presumably, is why lynx keep messing about with different scents. how bad is it that they do this? well, have you ever had a smell of their marmite one? or their leather and cookies one? yeah, give it a go. 

not actually sure that these are new, for unless i am mistaken they are not branded as such, or as any sort of "limited or special" edition things. quite sure they had one called "attract" on the go anyway, although for the life of me i don't remember it being "attract for men". brave of them to use such a quaint and old fashioned gender, i suppose, in this brave era of fluidity or what have you.

don't recall the exact provenance (or cost) of these two, to be honest. i suspect it was a supermarket, or maybe even the chain store of chemists what is not boots. for cost i would reasonably expect it to have been around £1.50 or even £2.00 a can, for that is the usual price at which my brain seems to say yeah, go on, get them, no, they will be better than the last ones they did, probably. 

how do they smell? well, to start with the (at first, at least) best, the 'epic fresh' one isn't half bad. that's reasonably impressive in itself, as the advertised content (or scent), being grapefruit (grailfrit) and "tropical" (rather than urban, or domestic) pineapple are effectively describing the smell of lilt. so quite a shock when the scent (at first) was rather nice, and not simply akin to pouring a can of lilt over your head. less sticky too, presumably. after a few moments, though, the scent goes.....strange. it becomes rather like you would imagine chloroform, as depicted in films (and certain tv shows) smells, sort of appealing and then knocks you out. i don't think i knocked myself or anyone else out when i had it on, but in truth i was not paying attention, so maybe. so far as i am aware that chloroform doesn't actually smell of anything, but if it did then it would probably be this.

reluctantly, then, 'attract for him'. dark pomegranate and sandalwood is what the tin promises. and what, according to lynx / axe, does this smell of ? why, of course, the go to for virtually all deodorant brands on the go here in England (and the wider UK). musky. no, not just a musky musk, or the standard extract of skunk p!ss musk that is so common, but much worse. 

giving the matter some consideration, here's the best way i can describe the scent of this attract for him. do you recall that one class bit in Rambo First Blood Part II? yes, there were indeed a lot of class bits, but that bit where the keep Rambo neck deep (if that's right) in rat infested swamp water, then tie him to a stripped down spring mattress and electrocute him (on instruction of Steven Berkoff, i seem to recall) quite a great deal? undoubtedly Rambo, during these moments, relieved and soiled himself. mostly, then, this deodorant smells how you would imagine Rambo's trousers would smell after they had been laid out in the Vietnamese sun to dry a bit for a couple of days after that particular incident. 

from the two (2) i dare say it is fairly obvious to conclude that i might buy the epic fresh one again at some point, as it is nowhere near as bad as it could be. the only reason i can think of that i would purchase the other is the unlikely scenario where i had to purchase a gift of some description for someone that i considered to be a complete and utter d!ckhead. indeed, now that i have written that, i have formulated a rudimentary shortlist of people i would then purchase it for. now is not the time to disclose the names on it. 

yes, to state what i always state in such reviews, i am quite aware of me not being the target market, or demographic, for lynx (axe). it is marketed for, or at, feral teenagers, seeking any and all enhancements to improve their chances of engaging in breeding like activities, or related interventions. all other brands, alas, have aerosol cans that i find disagreeable, and a scent much worse. 

unlikely as this is to be the case, my hope is that might insights here have been of some value to someone out there somewhere. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!