it is commonly accepted that one of the greatest problems faced by the modern world is the disarming lack of sexual imagery being emblazoned on cigarette lighters. this is an issue which few are prepared to face, look you see. but i am.
for quite some time, now, we, the people have been faced with the unopposed drive to make perceptions of smoking all negative and bad. a key phrase in this is "socially unacceptable". it has always struck me as strange that all other forms of limitation, control and oppression attract at least some form of resistance, but not this.
mostly this seemingly (or apparently) relentless drive has come in the form of limiting where one can actually - and let us not forget to do so remains legal - smoke, and of course the silly nonsense that was changing the packaging what cigarettes come in. but there have been sinister, more covert efforts made too. like, for instance, messing about making fag lighters only available in plain, usually basic colours, rather than having fancy designs on them.
so, when i see one like the above, i instinctively buy it. call me simple, or easily pleased, but i rather like using lighters what have some form of pattern or imagery on them. well, as creatures, we are aesthetically geared sensory things, after all. it is when they try to limit our experience of such that we should all be concerned, but usually we are not.
the provenance and the cost of this most splendid lighter? oddly the word (or name) poundland covers the answer to both. yes, then, £1 off of poundland, for a more expansive answer. and indeed it is just one lighter for that fee. normally, or usually, i would be able to get a packet of 3 or 4 lighters for that fee; sometimes even five. but it seems that if you have a wish for some sort of imagery or picture on a lighter, then you pay a premium.
yes, it is indeed a quite provocative (or slightly) saucy image of a lady of the woman variety. sorry for the repetition in the concluding part of the previous sentence, for i am bereft of any idea as to how one is supposed to clarify specific genders in this day and age. it all sounds rather fluid.
a compelling thought is that someone, somewhere, is very much trying to "bring sexy back" to the world of smoking. beyond this lighter, there is presently an effort to make them warning pictures on the fags as sexually suggestive as possible. one of the packs shown above has the naked bloke on it many of my fellow smokers will be familiar with, where as another (not pictured as i do try and keep this all suitable for everyone) features the naked midriff of a lady, albeit with a censoring burn hole around the belly button area.
warning images, if they are in fact such, since we are on the subject, remain weirdly specific. an assumption made across all of the images used on UK fags is that all smokers are white, or if you prefer caucasian, or honky to use the original latin derivative. further, an assumption is made that all who like the fags are in a recognizably heterosexual relationship, almost always with children. if you made a film or television show like that then you'd get taken straight to the f*****g cleaners by the usual mob, always ready to be offended on behalf of others, vilifying you for either covert, blatant, casual or direct racism. nobody seems to care when such is done on fag warnings, which is really strange, as the tacit implication is "well, we're not all that bothered if blacks or gays smoke or die off of it".
no, the folly ends not there. these warning images always also show smokers in exceptionally good physical condition, all slim and what have you. so, it's just that the cigarettes alone kill them, is it? for some reason they also depict an idea where people are genuinely sad that a smoker dies. a harsh, unavoidable truth of this world we have created is that, really, nobody at all gives a flying f*** about anyone else at all.
is, to briefly get back on to some vague idea of a point, the lighter itself any good in terms of the function it has in this world, rather than just looking good. yes, i suppose so. it doesn't really light a cigarette in any different, special or "magical" way when compared to other, cheaper, less attractive devices of a similar purpose.
the round (or if you will quasi cylindrical) shape of this lighter does, i concede, allow for certain ergonomic advantages over the standard "rectangle" shaped ones you (or i) would normally get in a packet of 3, 4 or 5 such. further, it seems to be made of more robust stuff than the standard ones, for when it falls in error to the ground it does not shatter into a thousand pieces. not immediately, at the least, and not on the first opportunity to do so. another advantage, and maybe this is out of superior craftsmanship or better materials used in manufacture (or a combination of these things), is that it is not quite so clunky and loud when struck to make a flame to light a fag.
do all of these factors combine to make this one (1) lighter for £1 in some way 'better', in real if not actual terms, than the packs of 3 (or more) lighters you can just as easily procure for the same monetary value? not really, no, but also yes, actually, when you give full consideration to the lovely picture on it. also, as you can refill this lighter with some form of gas, it is a very Greta-friendly way of having a fag.
people tend to forget just who was the architect of trying to make smoking seem like a bad thing. it was, of course, disgraced former PM Bliar. as just about every other "good idea" he had - having a border free for all, "sexing up" documents, handing out honours to keep people quiet, printing money and throwing it at people, engaging in a greater variety of land wars than any other PM had even though he would be hard pressed to find most of the battlefields on a map - has been called in to question since and usually dismissed as a "bad idea", why it has been left to assume he (accidentally) got this right is most strange.
undoubtedly the hallmark of Bliar was to be as anti-social as he was anti-socialist. he absolutely did not want any of us speaking to each other, for fear we might get all sorts of ideas about asking him just what he was playing at. not content with flooding the UK with non-english speaking people so as to thwart most general forms of conversation, he did all he could to encourage people to stay at home rather than go out and "mingle". notable examples were reducing the cost of booze in shops, so people stayed home and got all p!ssed up instead of going to the pub, and relaxing censorship laws, so people could watch filth at home instead of buying them on dodgy tapes off the market.
his masterstroke, of course, was to vilify smoking. there used to be no greater social activity than congregating with like minded people, all enjoying a fag. one would request a light, or indeed even a cigarette entire, and conversation would flow. this was absolutely not what Bliar wanted for the people. oh, sure, he gave a way out. a lot of people assumed what he said was "i am going to come down hard on advocates of cigarettes", but what he actually said was "i am going to come down hard on advocates of cigarettes unless, of course, they give me a great deal of money". regrettably, and sadly, it was only the people what do the formula one, the thing with the cars, who heard the last bit.
at the time of writing this we are, of course, and sadly, in a Bliar utopia. due to the invisible war on this coronavirus thing, absolutely none of us are supposed to leave home, and we are not really to be speaking to one another. most of thus are obeying this freely, for we were asked nicely. which, i think you will find, makes it Boris 1 Bliar 0.
so, in conclusion, then, yes it is a pretty good cigarette lighter, this. obviously it is aesthetically pleasing, and so far it has performed all functionality that i have asked of it. whereas you can indeed get a good deal more lighters for the same money, one doesn't really get an expressed sense of being short changed with this beauty.
sublimis inter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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