Friday, October 05, 2018

it's not where you're from it's where you're at

heya


one of the more popular things out there - to market and sell, look you see, and not necessarily all that popular with members of the public - is, well, not what i am going to write about. now that i think on, the most (mildly) infuriating adverts on tv at present are a succession of hideous, for no apparent reason American themed things offering to send you shaving gear "cheap". so far as i can tell, absolutely none of them are cheaper than the couple of quid a chap who wished to shave would need to get some disposable razors and requisite foam off of Poundland.

to get to the point, then, as Christmas ebbs closer - or we move towards Christmas, depending entirely on how you see who or what moving when or where in respect of the commonly agreed, but without scientific foundation, means of "measuring time" - certain adverts shall appear again. some of these shall be for things what claim to be "the absolute perfect gift", but then reveal that all they want is a DNA sample off of you to give you a vague idea of where you are from.

also, in terms of Christmas advertising, i see any sort of form or semblance of intelligent journalism is now dead and gone here in England. yes, John Lewis. the British press, media and what have you are reporting "John Lewis reports 99% fall in profits" and "John Lewis pay Elton John £5million to be in advert" as two separate stories. who knows, with a bit of effort perhaps some plucky journalist, or news desk editor, might have looked at the two stories and considered the potential for some sort of link there.



yeah, that's a right foot chart, by the way, mirror it, i suppose, for your left. although if your left looks exactly like the above, perhaps consider a doctor or similar for consultation.

i am uncertain that i get the fascination with knowing where you are from in terms of centuries before you existed. also, i am uncertain that the idea of sending off personal information and a DNA sample to some sort of "honest" research lab is for me. to act as some sort of balance between the two, then, there is the above. that is, internet says, a "guide to feet", with the shape and/or size of your toes giving you a pretty good indication of which classical civilisation you hail from.

how accurate is the above? well, according to it and a cursory look at my one foot, i am of Egyptian, Arabic, Greek and possibly Celtic or Gaelic origin. no, i have absolutely no idea if i am or not, but the sort of shapes i can pull with my feet say yes. for me, though, yes, no, it's where you are at, not where you are from, that matters.

exactly where should you conduct your own test on your feet, so as you may see where you are from if you are so interested? i would totes say that on public transport is the best place, with particular emphasis on the London Underground ("tube") system. that way others may see what you are doing, and out of curiosity may well elect to join in and do the same. see, meeting new people can be easy.



let it not be said that i somehow said that these "trace your ancestry by giving us money and unrestricted condition free access to your DNA" are bad, considering the lawyers they have. far from it. pictured above is my chum Spiros, enjoying a fine meal. some of you may recall from, well, close to a couple of years ago now, that Sprios did indeed do one of them tests, and it was found that he was of nobility and royalty in at least two nations.

so yes, then, by all means go and get one of them tests done, for like Spiros it might turn out that you too, actually, are the crown prince or princess of some far off land what you have never ever heard of.

what, exactly, is Spiros doing in the above image? actually, testing out or flexing his deft culinary skills, if that is indeed the correct and proper work for cooking and that. once upon a time Spiros, before being the greatest legal mind of his or any generation, was considered as being the finest, most outstanding sauté chef (saucier) to have ever lived.



no, he never revealed the special, magical, not difficult to get but all the same quite limited daily availability secret substances he added to his sauces. whilst all but retired from this, Spiros does, from time to time, still allow certain members of the gentry to taste his special, celebrated sauce. in quite specific circumstances, which are sadly ones i am not prepared to list here.

so, anyway, yes. if you happen to have feet, a reasonable number of toes linked to those feet and a curiosity about your origins, then perhaps this has been of some help. if not, well, cheers for reading anyhow.



be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





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