quantum of scent

greetings

for the last two years or so i have, and not that this shall be of all that much interest to anyone, been fairly, if not reasonably, loyal to Versace as a brand or supplier of aftershave. eau de toilette, though, i do believe the fancy posh name for it all is now. just something that makes you smell nice(r), look you see. quite recently though it is so that i've sort of kind of mixed it up a little. 

i am, in truth (and honesty, if different), a bit of a one for buying branded items what are not really relevant. what does that even mean? best example is probably procuring my mug collection over the years. they are mugs, and serve a purpose no matter what is on them, yet still it remains that what coins i have will be attracted to buying ones with certain, key words or images on. 

so it was likely, or inevitable, that, in my three quarter life crisis (should i even make it that far) i was going to end up making use of this. 

but not in a way you may think. it was not "oh, class, James Bond aftershave, let me buy and use". it so happens that the first bottle i purchased was a gift for young William, who pleased his father greatly by expressing an interest in the James Bond films. he then proceeded to adopt an interest in smelling nice, so got him a bottle. 

no, no no, i didn't swipe his gift. rather it is so (of course) that i went and purchased my own. this was partially as it smelt rather pleasant, but also it was going off the shelves and was further going cheap. i believe i spent some £10 on this. admittedly that's not "cheap cheap", but is a compatible price for when i purchase, say, Versace Blue Jean in a 75ml bottle on special for £15. mathematics makes that same difference. 

what, or how, does it smell of? good question. the packaging gives away no secret of what the scent is, save for a brief mention of blackberry. presumably not the phone. if i were to guess, one of them sort of kind of "wood" fragrances is present, be it cedar or sandal. that seems to be in all of them. well, the really at least halfway decent ones. yet which Bond is this supposed to smell of? 

purely for fun, then, i thought it might be quite nice (and give me something to write of) to consider each of the "proper" presentations of James Bond on screen to date and see which one creates a sense of what this aftershave evokes. and for some reason my blog thing has uploaded the images in the reverse order of what i wished for. oh. 

so, anyway, starting with Daniel Craig, who was of course the most recent actor to play the part. and why i wished his to come up last. oh well. no, i don't think it, as in this aftershave, is based on him (or his portrayal). whereas he was most excellent in the role, with Skyfall in particular being one of the best ever Bond films. that said, for some reason the films what he gone done were all obsessed with having James Bond getting his head kicked in. so, surely, any aftershave based on him would have quite a heavy sweat and blood odor of it. which this doesn't have. 

one James Bond actor it certainly isn't based on is puffy bum bum nancy boy Pierce Brosnan. just, no. yes, he was in one (1) good Bond film, Goldeneye, but otherwise he was terrible in a series of terrible, terrible movies. at no stage was he ever convincing in the role, simply as he looked and acted far too much like a softie to have plausibly seen active military service.

there's just no practical or viable way for this aftershave (eau de toilette) to have been inspired off of him. it would have had to have been a very soft, bland, basically water thing. a shame, really. Pierce had excellent pre and post Bond careers, but he was just never right in the role. they should never have offered it to him, can't blame him for accepting. 

it would be excellent if the aftershave thing was based on Timothy Dalton, the actor what got most f****d over playing the part. he was a beauty boss actor for the part him. sadly his debut The Living Daylights was somewhat "different" from the usual and a bit tricky to follow. the second of his, Licence To Kill, they would not let them make it as "dark" or violent as they wanted, yet what came out proved a bit too dark and violent for many. lawyers and what not delayed a follow up and eventually that was that. 

exactly how a Timothy Dalton inspired James Bond aftershave would smell would be very interesting. for me, as you can no doubt work out from the above, the strong scent of being f***ed over would be applicable. surely each and every one of us has had an experience of this, which is being f***ed over. that may well make it problematic to base an aftershave on, for surely it had a different smell for each of us. 

right, now we are talking. whereas it would be silly for anyone to state, suggest or argue (but they do) who the "best" Bond was (is), each of us has a favourite. and mine of course is Sir Roger Moore, most probably as that is the James Bond i grew up with. plus, you know, he was in the one what Duran Duran did one of them best themes ever for. also, he did a Bond what a Beatle did a theme for. unlikely to ever happen again, as you don't see who(m)ever gets the part next demanding that Ringo be contracted to do the song. 

of all the potential Bond candidates for who(m) this fragrance drew inspiration, i would suggest Sir Roger is the most likely. the aftershave hints at a sense of the exquisite and luxurious; the dapper gentleman lifestyle what one would reasonably associate with this fine fellow. but, sadly, i don't think so, for it was far too cheap an item to be of Sir Roger. any aftershave based upon or inspired by Sir Roger would cost many thousands of pounds, so as to ensure no peasants or riff raff (like, for instance, me) could get it. 

certainly i am including George Lazenby here, even if he was rather foolish, in retrospect, to decline to play the part more than once. a strange thing is that we, the people shall always say he was only Bond in just the one film, yet don't follow up and state that it was a really, really, really, really good one. sure, true, longer than it needed to be, but if you haven't seen it for a bit (or ever) i would strongly suggest checking out On Her Majesty's Secret Service. perfect afternoon viewing, it is. 

anyway, no. there is no chance that this aftershave was based on the G. just as he was famously only Bond once he is famously Australian, unless that was all a bit of an urban legend. let us assume it is not so, and he really is fair dinkum. to keep with that, and to honour and respect it, such an aftershave would need to smell of eucalyptus, bush fires and that tingling metallic like iron taste one gets when they are drowning in their own blood after being bitten off a lethal spider. 

many would suggest, contrary to my earlier words, that it is actually quite easy to name the "best" Bond, and that it is Sir Sean Connery. having watched a couple of his performances again recently i am not that sure. except, well, i would still say Goldfinger is the best of the lot, and certainly he remains the most iconic in the role. had it not been for he in the first films, well, who knows if we'd even be speaking of the character / role (in terms of films) today. 

basing an aftershave on Sir Sean would be a lovely idea, but it's not this one. for him it would be far more rugged, macho and direct. this thing is just far too subtle to be of Sir Sean, really. 

perhaps this aftershave (eau de toilette pour homme) is a distinct blend of the five proper James Bond actors we have had, plus some vague acknowledgement of Pierce. if i could be bothered to look it up on that there internet thing i would no doubt find some blurb of puff piece from the makers, telling me all about it. don't have time and i am not that interested. 

yes, by the way, as per the original (first) image, the aftershave element in the bottle does appear to be a black liquid. indeed William was slightly disappointed that it did not spray out like some black ink thing, but that might have caused clothing damage issues. 

once i have finished this bottle there will be some regret that it is no more, true. but for the most part i shall simply retreat back to the Versace fragrances i have found i like and, in truth, believe best reflect, or represent, my sexuality in an olfactory way. kind of. 

so far as i am aware this is quite far away from being unique, or the first such instance of a film related tie-in for an aftershave type product. but i cannot recall what any of the others may have been. 

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!